Stylized Violence
by xsparklesthemagicalunicornx
Summary: She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?"
1. Chapter 1  Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It all started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

It took me forever to decide on a first chapter because I had written a few to start this story. With great deliberation I chose this one. Please please let me know what you think.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Prologue: White Blank Page <strong>

_But tell me now where was my fault,  
><em>_in loving you with my whole heart?  
>Her white blank page &amp; a swelling rage,<br>You did not think when you sent me to the brink,  
>You desired my attention but denied my affections,<br>But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart_

_**-Mumford & Sons **__  
><em>

**13****th**** March 1998**

"Alright, well that's all I suppose." The grey haired man said as he looked around the large table at his brothers. "Anyone got anything to add?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at the younger man in the corner who was fumbling with his lighter. "Donut, what the fuck?"

"Shit, sorry Prez." The floppy haired man said as he placed down the lighter and gave up trying to set the ends of a pen alight. "Just…you know…" he shrugged. The President nodded.

"Yeah, I know Brother, but this a favour to the mother charter." Turning his brown eyed glare on the man sitting two down from his left he jerked his chin slightly. "Can I trust you to keep him out of trouble?"

"Kozik won't be a problem Blue." The gravelly voice replied.

"Good, last thing I need is another fucking kid to look after. Anyone actually know what he did?"

"I heard he fucked Tiggers woman." Someone piped up and Blue rolled his eyes before looking over at the man he'd just been speaking to.

"I don't have to worry about Tig turning up do I Hap?" The bald man shook his head.

"I got it under control Prez."

"Good. Right, church is adjourned. Which one of you douchebags is on the beer run?" Blue asked, looking pointedly at his Vice President. "You got beer detail Lorca?"

"Nah, I got kid duty." A loud catcall went up from the others and Blue growled.

"Watch your mouths."

"It's Lorca you gotta watch with them young ones." Donut teased and earned a glare from the VP. "And the Prospect." Blue sighed, running a tired hand over his face.

"Lorca, send the Prospect for beer. Hap, you go sort out the kid." Happy nodded as Blue banged down the gavel and they all stood, heading for the door. The sweetbutts were waiting as soon as they stepped out into the crowded clubhouse and descended on each one of the sons.

Happy surveyed the crowd. He could stay, but he knew Blue would skin him if he didn't do as he was told. Not to mention kid duty was not that bad. Walking out into the cool lot he climbed on his bike and started it up. He didn't need directions, like his brothers did every other weekend he'd just follow the noise.

Twenty minutes later he pulled up in front of the huge white house with blue shutters on the opposite side of town. There were kids pouring out of the place and loud music was blasting from an expensive set of speakers. His eyes surveyed the crowd before they landed on the girl sitting on the brick wall surrounding the house. She hadn't heard him, her legs swinging back and forth the heels of her boots thumping on the wall behind her. Poised in front of her lips, in the same direction as her head was a cigarette, held between two blunt black nails as she stared off into space. He had a brief image of those nails digging into his back, the long legs and the boots locked around his waist before he killed the engine.

Her baggy, but short dress was hitched up on her thighs, large black and white beads hanging in piles around her neck and her blonde messy hair was pulled into a bun high on her head, the brown and black streaks through the blonde standing out in the lamplight.

Calling out her name, she turned her head slowly to lay heavily eyelined blue eyes on him.

"You?" she said, no greeting no formalities and not a hint of fear at the sight of him astride the Harley nearby.

"Me." He replied appraising her long lean legs up to the hem of her skirt. He watched her take a painfully long drag of her cigarette before jumping off the wall and looking up at him as she swung her shoulder bag over her shoulder and strode over to him.

"At least it wasn't Lorca." She sighed, taking the helmet he offered to her and pushing it down on her hair. "Can we get something to eat I'm starved." She added before swinging her leg over the back of the bike and wrapping her arms around his waist as he started the bike again and pulled out of the street and headed back to their side of town.

Five minutes later the two of them were sitting in the diner across from Tacoma Auto, Happy watching the girl as she squeezed ketchup and mayonnaise onto her fries. She didn't say anything and Happy was thankful for it as he ate his burger. They'd had the same understanding since he'd first prospected for the club all those years ago. The long silences were never awkward, just normal.

He watched with amusement as she went for her soda, pulling off the plastic lid and straw before rummaging through her handbag and producing a silver flask. The smirk tugged at his lips as she poured the amber liquid into her soda and stirred it with her straw before returning the flask to her bag. Finally he thought it was time to broach the subject of her missing boyfriend.

"Where's the kid?"

"Dunno." She replied, sipping at her soda before picking up one of her fries, he didn't miss the eyelash bat she threw him or the small smile that had most of his brothers toeing the line.

"Don't pull your slutty shit on me." He growled and she shrugged, not affected by his tone.

"He left early, Academy won't let him in if he gets picked up underage."

"So he left you there?" Another shrug. The little bitch had it down to an art these days, avoiding the question, lying.

"Hmm." He growled inwardly. She took another sip of her drink and put it down in front of him before fixing her blue eyes on him. "You got something you wanna say?"

"Nah."

"Good." She replied, sipping at her drink again before polishing off the rest of her fries and throwing a few bills down on the table as she stood up. "I'm ready to go now."

Happy looked up at the teenager from where he sat in the diner booth and clenched his jaw to refrain from saying something. It was fucking tempting to give her a lecture about safety and brains, but he knew it was a lost cause. It was a bit hypocritical for them to preach to her then take her home to her current living situation. Standing up he threw a few more bills down before picking up hers and shoving them towards her.

"Put it in your fucking piggy bank or something." He growled when she gave him an amused smile.

"His name is Eddie." She said as he passed her and he pulled up short his hand pressed flat on the glass door of the diner.

"What?"

"My piggy bank- his name is Eddie." Then she cocked her head to the side and gestured for him to continue out the door. He felt a tug at the corner of his mouth as she strode past him and waited for him to get on the bike and start it before she was climbing on behind him. He dropped her off in the driveway and waited until she'd jumped the chainlink fence into her yard and was through the front door before he turned around and headed back to the clubhouse.

Yeah kid duty was never that bad when the kid in question was Asher Hayden.

* * *

><p>Eight year old Sarah Stevenson watched the Harley pull away from the driveway in the dark and saw the lights in the house next door flick on. She jumped when she heard the door of her bedroom open and dashed from the window to jump into bed and pull the covers up to her shoulders pretending to sleep.<p>

"I know you're not sleeping Sarie." Her oldest brothers voice whispered in the dark and she sat up to see him standing in the dim light of the hallway.

"What're you doing?" She hissed at him and he grinned.

"It's two am- you wanna wake Thomas up?" Sarah grinned, jumping off the bed and bouncing over to her brother, taking his large hand in hers and sneaking down the hall with him, careful not to wake their mother as they passed their parents door. Her brother held a finger up to his lips to remind her to be quiet as they pushed open her other brothers door and snuck over to the bed. Thomas was sleeping quietly when the oldest wrapped his hands around Sarah and hoisted her up and dropped her on top of Thomas both of them laughing as Thomas jolted awake.

"Happy Birthday Tommy." Her brother laughed and Sarah bounced up and down on the mattress in her nightgown.

"Happy twelfth birthday Tommy!" Sarah chorused before her leg was grabbed and she fell flat on her back, giggling as both her brothers started to tickle her relentlessly despite their sleeping mother down the hall. It was perfect.

* * *

><p>The wind was howling in her ears as she clung tightly to the firm body that was controlling the machine in underneath them. Her blonde hair whipped around her face as they weaved their way through the motorway traffic, not slowing down at all. It was perfect. Her life could only get better from here on out.<p>

Mia James grew up in a good home in Orange County and like many teenagers had rebelled, smoked, drank and did drugs. Like normal young people. It hadn't taken long for her to break out of her parents grip and catch a bus anywhere but Orange County. And that's how she found herself in Charming, California. And the only thing worse than Orange County was Charming. Small, no Starbucks, no shopping centres. Just people and their families. And the only good thing about Charming – the Sons of Anarchy. To say the Sons were everything she needed would be a lie, but at twenty-three and rebellious, the Sons were everything she wanted.

After meeting a few girls at the local hair salon she'd been introduced to the Sons. All rugged men smelling of leather and smoke. They oozed sex appeal and charm. The girls taught her the ropes and within months she was a sweetbutt, or a Croweater as they were known in Charming. She didn't mind sleeping with various members though, because one day one of them was going to realise was a good Old Lady she was going to be. One day she wasn't going to be the sweetbutt in all the Old Ladys jokes. She was going to be one of them. And she was going to be better than those stuck up bitches like Gemma Teller and Luann Delaney. One day.

But, the day when she got a free ride out of Charming would come before any of those SAMCRO boys would realise what they were missing. When Kozik had packed his bag and walked out of the clubhouse, Clay Morrow and Tig Trager watching after him, Mia had seized her opportunity.

"_I don't need anything, I just want to get out of this town." _

"_I ain't takin' some sweetbutt with me to Tacoma." _

"_Please, Koz, I won't be any trouble." _

She'd melted him, the big bad blonde biker had sighed loudly, voicing his distaste and telling her to pack her shit before they were speeding towards Washington State. Soon enough she would be doing her part in Tacoma. Doing as she was told until someone realised what a good Old Lady she would be. That's how she found herself on her knees in a bathroom, blowing the hottest biker she had ever seen at a twelve year old birthday party. Yeah this was a new start, she was thinking as he tugged at her hair. This was the first day of the rest of her life.

If she'd known back then, that that was merely the beginning of the end for her, that one day she would regret getting on her knees for _him_ and insulting _her _she would have stayed in Charming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One – Buzzin' <strong>

_I met her at a backyard blockparty  
>By the bar<br>she was looking at me like she knew who I was  
>She was buzzin all over me<br>Like she fell in love  
><em>_**-Schwayze **_

**14****th**** March 1998**

The hot Washington State sun shone down on the grass of large backyard in the suburbs of Tacoma. Stretched out on a deck chair in the shade with her legs out in the sun and her body under the shade of the back patio, Asher Hayden was watching the interactions of the family around her from behind the dark lenses of her Ray Ban wayfarers. In front of her, standing on the lawn was her blonde haired brown eyed boyfriend Riley Stevenson. Smugness was oozing out of his pores as he spoke to the twenty-three year old in front of him with pride, his chest puffed out and every bit the Calvin Klein model he should have aspired to be. She could hear him telling the man in front of him about the Harley that was sitting in the garage waiting for his eighteenth in two weeks.

Watching his son from the barbeque, Asher could see Philip Stevenson, or Blue as he was known to his family, flipping burgers, his brown eyes surveying the crowd in their large backyard. He caught her eye and nodded in recognition, lifting his tongs slightly and Asher nodded back in greeting. Much like his son, Blue had the warm brown eyes with the flecks of gold and but his blonde hair had turned grey with age, like the clipped beard he sported nowadays. She'd known the Stevensons her whole life, having grown up next door to them in Tacoma and now dating their oldest son, she was practically family. Since she was a small child, she'd attended church with the family, gone to school with their son, was graduating in three months alongside him, and found herself having dinner at their table every second night.

And with the Stevenson family came the Sons of Anarchy. Blue and Liz were the President and First Lady of the Sons of Anarchy – the Motorcycle Club that practically ran Tacoma. And just like his father, Riley aspired to join the Club as soon as he was twenty-one, under his fathers orders. The Harley in the garage was merely a warm up present.

"Ash!" She heard her name called and she looked up and saw Liz walking towards her. Riley had inherited his blonde locks from his mother, but her eyes were a calming grey, the kind of colour that made you wonder if they saw everything. "Ash, sweetie can you get the cake ready?" She asked and Asher nodded, hiding the tired sigh at the thought of having to get out of her chair.

"Sure." Without another word she stood up and headed to the kitchen where she found the table on the kitchen island, the Stevensons eight year old daughter sitting in front of it, sticking candles in the frosting of the cake.

"Hey Ash." The little blonde with blue grey eyes like her mother said, spotting the eighteen year old walk in.

"Hey Sarah." Asher said, finding the gas lighter in the kitchen drawer as the kid finished the last of the candles on the white frosting of the cake, placed strategically around the colourful cars that had been iced on the cake. She tried to fight the thought that Thomas, Liz and Blues twelve year old was probably a little bit old for the cars and colours on the cake.

"All done." Sarah said with triumph and Asher inspected the cake with a smile.

"Sweet as, Sare. You gunna light it or me?" She asked holding up the lighter and the child pointed at her.

"You do it." She informed Asher and Asher nodded, clicking the flame to life and lighting each candle and letting the trigger go as Liz walked into the kitchen and clapped with excitement.

"Lovely Sarie. Thanks Ash." She nodded gratefully to the teenager and Asher shrugged, causing the sleeve of her grey top to fall off her shoulder, making her reach up and adjust it quickly as Liz picked up the cake and headed towards the back door, the words of Happy Birthday starting up as soon as the screen door slammed behind Sarah who followed her mother.

Asher watched the scene out the back window, seeing the members of Blues Club stub out their cigarettes and stride over to the table where the kids were gathered around the cake, beers in hand. She couldn't help but appreciate the younger members of the Sons. Hot, rugged, mens men who wore jeans and leather and smoked and drank, much unlike the too clean cut boy that was standing beside his baby brother at the table. She knew that being a Son was Rileys dream but he hardly looked the part. Not yet anyway. One day she knew he would be though. Rileys dream to become a hardened member of the club was like her dream to get out of that damn town. One day Riley would be a chain smoking leather wearing biker and she would be far far away.

At that thought she patted down her shorts and smiled as she felt the cigarette packet in her pocket. Definitely time for a stealthy smoke break. Checking to make sure no-one was looking for her she strode down the hall, her heavy biker boots slapping on the wooden floors as she headed towards the bathroom with the window that opened up enough for her to lean out and smoke without getting caught. She was pulling the packet out of her shorts as she pushed the bathroom door open and stopped dead at the sight in front of her.

"Shit sorry." Asher gasped at the sight of the man in front of her, leaning back against the basin of the large bathroom, his head level with the mirror on the bathroom cabinet. His eyes fell on her as she took in the sight. Underneath his shaved head were dark almost black eyes watching her with a small smirk on his face. And no wonder he was smirking, Asher mused when she saw the blonde on her knees in front of him, her head bobbing as his hand held her head in position. Realising that watching them was really awkward, Asher spun around and slammed the door behind her, leaning against it as she tried to get the image out of her head. Not so much the scene in general, just the dark calculating eyes of the biker that was leaning against the basin.

She knew exactly who he was.

The Tacoma Killer was a well integrated part of their family. He'd prospected years ago, when Asher was still in her early teens and she'd had a huge crush on him, but besides the occasional nod, he never said a word to her and she never said anything to him. They got each other in that way- neither of them were the type to talk just to make sound. Even if the name Happy implied that he might. And like the night before, if he did say anything it was usually gruff and accusing.

Flicking open the top of her cigarette packet she leant against the wooden door and pulled a cigarette out, sticking it between her lips. Looking in the pack she realised her lighter wasn't in the carton and she patted down her pockets again, only to come up short.

Looking down the hall she decided going back out there was not an option, she really needed a smoke. Spinning around she pushed the door open again, trying to remain cool, because honestly, she'd seen worse in the girls bathroom at Tacoma High. Happy's eyes were on her the instant she could see them, that familiar smirk on his face as she glanced between him and the blonde who promptly swivelled her head around to glare at her with her heavily made up face as Asher pulled the cigarette from her lips.

"Any you guys got a light?" she asked sweetly.

"Fuck off bitch." The woman sneered and Asher glanced down at the blonde whos black g-string was sticking out the back of her shorts and riding high over ample fake tanned hips. She saw a hand swipe at the blondes head and the woman winced, glancing up at the man above her with a hurt look on her face as Happy patted down the leather cut he was wearing, sticking his hand inside the cut to produce a silver Zippo lighter and toss it to her.

Asher caught it easily, thankful that the blonde was blocking the view of the mans groin with her fake bleach blonde hair because between that and the look he was giving her, she started feeling the familiar warmth that she got before she needed to jump someone. Remaining cool she stuck the cigarette in her mouth and flicked the lighter open and lit it easily. She took a deep inhale of nicotine before tossing it back to the man and pulling the skinny tube from her lips.

"Thanks." She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" She asked before sticking the cigarette in her lips and shutting the door. Looked like she was going to be smoking it out of Rileys window.

"Hey Babe." She jumped, spinning around to come face to face with Riley. He had almost perfect timing.

"Hey yourself." Asher replied, sidling up to him and placing a hand on his chest. "Whatcha doing?" She looked up at him with large dark blue eyes and batted her long eyelashes.

"Looking for you." Riley replied just as coyly, gripping her hips and pulling her closer to him.

"Hmm I like the sound of that." Asher lied. Honestly she would rather go and bask in the seedy glances from the older members of the club. Actually…all thoughts of going to find the cute prospect that always had a joint on him were interrupted when they both heard the bathroom door open and swung their heads around to see the man coming from the bathroom straightening his cut and a cold look on his face, it only getting worse when he spotted the two teenagers.

"Hey Happy." Riley said meekly

"Riley." He said with a gravelly voice that made Asher bite her lip. His cold calculating eyes fell on her, a twitch to his lip and she realised her thoughts were pretty much written all over her face. "Show us your bike kid." Happy said, returning his eyes to Riley and Asher's jaw clenched as Riley looked over at her. Asher nodded. Please go.

"Sure Hap." Riley said giving her an almost apologetic look before walking towards the garage Happy, looking in her direction again briefly before following him. _Asshole_.

Pulling the cigarette back to her lips Asher walked into the bathroom and saw the blonde skank fixing her make-up in the mirror. She gave Asher a glare when she saw her walk in and Asher pulled the cigarette from her mouth and exhaled loudly.

"Get out." She snapped, jerking her head towards the door and the skank raised her too thin eyebrows at her. "You want somethin'?" She asked, channelling her inner bitch and the blonde grunted before stalking out at her crude questions. Asher smirked before kicking the door shut and locking it, promptly walking over to pull the window up and leaning out it. Realising her cigarette was nearly gone she pulled the carton out again and pinched a new one and tapped the ash of the already burning one before holding the tips of each cigarette together to light. Stubbing out the old one on the window sill she flicked the butt into the yard of the Stevensons other neighbours before inhaling from the new one.

Her mind went to Riley again as she leant against the window sill. They'd been together two years and she'd been the one to take his virginity. And Riley was fun but he was naïve, despite his upbringing with the rough and tumble members of the Club. He thought that she wanted to be there with him. Putting up with his douchebag highschool friends, having a couple of kids and living the rest of her life in the monotonous cycle that was Club life. Fighting, fucking, cheating, fighting…they fought well. He didn't cheat, but there would be a time when he would one day, if she didn't beat him to it. And unless they taught sex-ed at the Clubhouse down at Tacoma Auto she wasn't sure if she could survive with Riley's selfish ways for the rest of her life.

Riley's theory of "I'm done now, lets go do something else." Didn't really sit well with Asher, being left a sweating writhing mess with no release was not her cup of tea. But she didn't tell him. Let him believe he was pleasing her.

Her mind drifted quickly to Happy the hot biker.

Now he would be able to please her, she had no doubt about that.

Sighing she exhaled slowly, the smoke blowing out into the air and she watched the woman next door walk out and hang clothes on the line, ignorant of the barbeque going behind the big fence next door. She saw the woman spot her and shake her head and Asher had to smirk. She didn't have the greatest reputation with the neighbours despite the love the Stevensons showered her with. As far as the Stevensons other neighbours were concerned she was just the little slut that had been caught making out with her boyfriend in their garden when she was seventeen.

Looking down at her slowly diminishing cigarette she tapped the ash of and took a deep breath. Only ninety-two days and she was out of this hole, away from Tacoma and Riley and ignorant neighbours. Butting the cigarette out on the wooden sill again she waited until the neighbour was looking at her again before flicking the butt into her yard with a smug grin, slamming shut the window and walking back out to the party.

Next best thing was cake, she decided though and headed straight for the table with the huge birthday cake on it. Finding a corner slice with the most icing on it she dropped it into a paper napkin and headed to sit down again in her previously occupied chair as Riley and Happy walked out the back door.

Her attention was pulled to the group of girls over in the far corner, not far from the group of men smoking and drinking in the corner wearing their leather cuts. Each of the girls had a short skirt on and fake tan everywhere. She wondered idly who invited the whores before she felt someone staring at her and saw the blonde from the bathroom glaring in her direction. Asher cocked an eyebrow at her and grinned slightly. The girl huffed before her attention went to the two men standing beside her. Asher looked up in the same direction and saw Riley saying something to Happy before walking over to the cake table with Ashers eyes following him.

"How you doin' Asher?" The gravelly voice said from beside her and Asher clenched her jaw as she propped her legs onto another chair and continued watching Riley talk to his mother.

"Not all of us can get fucked in the bathroom." She replied back under her breath but he heard her and chuckled slightly.

"You offering sweetheart?" Asher grinned to herself but didn't take her eyes off her boyfriend.

"You couldn't handle me."

"Don't be so sure darlin'." His voice was almost in her ear, "I've been watchin' a long time." Asher felt shivers go down her spine. Why oh lord was she with Riley again? She could be somewhere, anywhere but here with the hot biker pressed up against her. Her gaze shot up when she saw him shift and saw him walking away, his jeans fitting his ass perfectly.

"Down girl." She warned herself as he walked over to his friends and started talking. She needed to get out of there before she got too cocky and dragged the biker named Happy off between the Stevensons and the nosy neighbours and be pleased. Licking icing off her fingers she stood up and walked back through the house and out the front door and over to the low fence that separated the Stevensons house from hers and jumped it easily, her biker boots hit the ground with a thump and she continued up to the front door. She still had a few hours until her Dad came home so she made the most of the quiet and fell onto the couch and flipped the television on, but her mind was on other things.

* * *

><p>Happy watched out of the corner of his eye as the dirty-blonde haired girl stood up and sucked the icing off her fingers one by one and in a way that no eighteen year old should be capable off. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched her turn on her heel, long hair fanning out behind her and walk back into the house, her short shorts riding high on her thighs over torn fishnet stockings that followed legs that went forever before ending in black biker boots. It was a look that on any other Sweetbutt or girl would have been trashy, but fuck the girl made it work. With the long sleeveless grey tank top and the heavily eyelined dark blue eyes, black fingernails and porcelain skin it was hard not to be turned on by the sight.<p>

"That the kids bitch?" He felt a nudge in his side and Happy nodded to the blonde beside him. Koz was watching the girl walk into the house as well. "Fuck man, that's some tight ass." He said and Happy nodded again. _Fuck yeah._ "I bet she could work in some mysterious ways."

"She ain't for your viewing pleasure, brother." Happy growled out, a smile to his voice. Little bitch had been flouncing her sweet ass around the clubhouse for years. They'd all watched her grow up but now at eighteen she possessed an aura that not many women could pull off. Her smile told them to try it on with her, her eyes said _you can't handle me. _But they'd all fantasised about her. It was hard not to.

Spanner, the prospect appeared beside them, plucking his cigarette from his lips as he watched Asher walk away.

"Fuck…" he sighed, tilting his head to the side. Happy had to smirk. Spanner was a few years older than Asher and Riley, but Asher and he had become great smoking buddies. Happy would often spot them sitting out the back of the clubhouse, joints pressed between their fingers as they laughed. Spanner was obsessed with her. Worshipped the ground she walked on, even moreso than the dickhead kid that she was seeing. Riley was all wrong for her as far as Happy could see. Asher needed a man that could match her calm but fiery personality, a man that could appreciate what kind of woman she was. "Fucking jailbait." Spanner sighed and his two brothers laughed slightly. Yeah, jailbait and the prez's kids bitch. Therefore completely off limits. "Man if she wasn't all over that kid…" Spanner trailed off.

"Now I know you're not talking about Ash." Blues loud voice came as he slapped a hand on Spanners shoulder and by the wince on the Prospects face had squeezed hard.

"No sir."

"Off limits boys." He warned, eying Kozik and Happy moreso than the Prospect. "You old bastards stick to the sweetbutts and floozys. Don't need you corrupting a good kid like her." Blue said, pointing his finger at the blue eyed blonde beside Happy before turning his back and walking away. "We ain't in Charming anymore Brother."

"We ain't that old man." Koz said taking a swig of his beer and Happy nodded in agreement. They weren't _that_ old –but it was old enough. "Hey, how'd that blonde go?" Koz said changing the subject and Happy turned back to Koz with a shake of his head, taking a sip of his own beer which conveyed enough of a message. It was fucking lousy. Not helped by the interruption of the other blonde- the kids girlfriend, and the balls she had coming back in and asking for a lighter and mouthing off. Smart ass bitch had gotten in his mind after that. Well that had ruined his blow job. "Hey kid!" Koz was distracted as he snatched the collar of the blonde teenager that walked past them. Riley was taken aback by the grip on his collar before Koz slid an arm around his shoulders and laughed loudly.

"Uh…sup man?" He asked, looking up sheepishly at the man.

"Kid, how'd you swing that fine bit of ass you got hanging off you?" Koz asked seriously and Happy watched the kids face twitch before he grinned.

"She's my neighbour, we grew up together."

"You keeping her around when you Prospect?" Koz asked and the kid nodded.

"Yeah, man I ain't letting that go- girls a fucking nympho." He replied, relaxing at the tone of the conversation.

"Bet she's tight…" Koz encouraged and Happy shook his head. He knew what his Brother was doing. Cheeky fuck was gunna get the kid in trouble talking that shit. As far as Happy was concerned talking trash about your Old Lady never ended well.

"You have no idea man. Like a fucking vice." Riley laughed, "And she likes it rough." He added and Happy shared a look with Kozik knowing what was coming.

"Well kid, you make sure you share that shit around- soon as she's legal eh?" he replied, both Happy and Koz watching the next move.

"Oh, Ash turned eighteen like two months ago." He said before realising what Koz had implied. "Uh, oh yeah, sure man…" he said hesitantly and Happy shook his head. Fucking kids.

"Riley!" Riley scampered away at the sound of his mothers voice and left Happy there with the Sargent at Arms who shook his head slightly.

"What a waste man." Koz said sadly and Happy had to smirk. Yeah, what a waste.

* * *

><p>AN: Well do you hate it? Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you so much for all your reviews – **demonicseer, Dance1999, BloodDeathandGlory, BAD HERO **(Let me know what confused you- the first chapter is a bit weird but I promise it all makes sense…eventually =D)**sara, Fall Back Down** and **Spy Glass** . To all those who alerted and favourited you guys rock too!

A/N: I realise that my main character is very young (eighteen) and that may seem inappropriate to some people. I'm sorry I completely spaced- my characters are always relatively young and I blame the fact that I'm Australian and at eighteen you're legal to do everything so you're an adult. I'm sorry to everyone because a teen/Son storyline was not what I was aiming for- it's merely the defining events of the story that happen at this point so she won't be eighteen forever I promise. Thank you!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Two – Not Fair <strong>

_I'm lying in the wet patch  
>in the middle of the bed<br>I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by  
>I spent ages giving head<br>Then I remember all the nice things  
>That you ever said to me<br>Maybe I'm just overreacting  
>Maybe you're the one for me<br>__**- Lily Allen**_

**14th March 1998**

Sighing loudly Asher slid off the hips she was straddling and climbed off the bed. Pulling on a tank top and some panties she headed towards the door.

"Hey were you going?" Riley called out and she turned the doorknob as she grabbed the packet of cigarettes and newly found lighter from the desk beside the door and pulled the door open.

"Bathroom." She called back, walking back out into the dark halls of her house. Her father still wasn't home yet she noticed because it was quiet downstairs and she kept walking to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and flicking the lock. Walking over to the two storey window beside the toilet she wrenched the window up and leaned out over the sill, looking out over the street.

Lighting up a cigarette she inhaled and leant heavily on the sill. This was getting old. Riley had crawled through her window an hour before despite the fact that her father wasn't home. He said he was in a hurry and had skipped the foreplay. She was so sick of having a boyfriend that didn't really give a shit about getting her off despite her best efforts.

Inhaling again she looked out over the dark street and could see that most of the people had left the Stevensons party, only a few bikes were left out the front. Scanning the bikes she could see the bright orange glow of a cigarette coming from one of them. Leaning further out the window she could make out one of the Sons, Happy, sitting on his bike smoking. As if he felt her watching, he turned his head to stare back. Their eyes locked and they just stared between each other, inhaling and exhaling smoke. It was the weirdest thing, anyone else and it would be creepy, but with him she was more interested in what was going on in his head.

She jumped when suddenly there was a loud crash and she heard swear words.

"Fuck." She hissed, grinding the cigarette out on the window sill and flicking the butt out onto the road and slammed the window down without glancing back at the man on the bike. She was more worried about her father being home. Grabbing some mouth wash off the sink she took a sip and swished it around her mouth before spitting it out and grabbing the nearest bottle of perfume and spraying it in her direction.

Tiptoeing down the hall she stuck her head around her bedroom door she saw Riley was still lying naked in her bed, the dim light bathing his perfect skin and body with a dim light, but she couldn't really give a shit. Leaning down she picked up a shoe and pegged it at him, causing him to jump.

"What?"

"Put some fucking clothes on, my Dads home." She snapped as she pulled on a pair of discarded sweats and headed down the hall and down the stairs into the kitchen where her father was bent over looking in the fridge, a plate smashed on the ground nearby. "Looking for something?" She asked and saw her father jerk slightly before turning around to face her his brown eyes quizzical underneath his receding brown hairline.

Frank Hayden and Asher had nothing in common. It was hard to believe they were related. According to her father, Asher looked exactly like her mother had. Frank and Molly had met in the seventies and fallen madly in love as teenagers. They hadn't even gotten married when Asher was born. And they never got to marry, three months after she was born, Molly was in a car accident and killed. Frank was left with a daughter and a shitty job as a labourer, working on buildings and doing general handyman work that would allow him to spend time with his daughter if he didn't spend all his spare time down at the pub. Asher knew her father loved her, he said so all the time when he was drunk, but her mothers death had seriously screwed him up. And eighteen years later, nothing had changed.

"You make dinner, kiddo?" He asked, his words slurring and the smell of whiskey wafting over to her.

"No Dad, I was at the Stevensons for the party remember." She said, leaning against the bench, watching her father shrug and go back to the fridge. Sighing loudly as her father shifted stuff around in the fridge Asher walked over and took his hand. "Come on Dad, come and sit down and I'll make you something." She said quietly and her father nodded, letting her lead him into the living room where she sat him on the couch in front of the still running television and went to put some toast on to soak up some of the alcohol.

"Hey, I'm gunna you know…" Turning around Asher saw Riley in the frame of the back door.

"Sure, see you at school." Asher said tiredly and watched Riley nod before heading out the back door. Making a cup of coffee and some toast with peanut butter, Asher walked out into the living room and found her father snoring on the couch. "Guess you're not that hungry." Picking up a blanket from the end of the couch and throwing it over the sleeping man. Asher took a piece of toast and headed up the stairs to her bedroom.

The next morning, Asher came downstairs to find her father still passed out on the couch, the rest of the toast eaten and coffee spilt on the table. Not even wasting a tired sigh on the scene, she picked up the plate and walked into the kitchen and dumping it in the sink. Picking up a wet cloth she went back and wiped up the coffee on the table and took the cold cup back to the kitchen. Hitting the kettle she went about making another cup before getting down on the ground beside the fridge and picking up the shards of broken plate. When the kettle sounded she dumped the pieces in the bin and made her father some coffee before taking it out to him. Squatting down so her face was level with his face, the hem of her short dress riding up slightly, Asher gently shook her father awake.

"Dad, come on, wake up." Her father stirred slightly and blinked his eyes adjust his focus.

"Hey Princess." He said sleepily, watching her with sad brown eyes.

"Come on Dad, you've got to go to work soon." She said, patting his shoulder as he sat up and she handed him the coffee cup, making the plastic bangles on her wrists jingle. "I gotta go to school." She added and stood up, leaning over to press a kiss to her fathers head, walking off with her boots thumping on the ground. Sliding her book bag over her shoulder she walked out the back door and down the street towards the bus stop.

She was halfway down the block when the large red truck pulled in beside her and the driver called out her name. Looking up she saw Teddy Munroe smiling brightly at her.

"How you doin' Asher?" He asked and Asher stopped, turning to look at the boy with a cocked eyebrow. "You want a lift girl?" Asher contemplated turning the jock down, but he was one of Rileys friends and she really didn't want to get on the shitty bus.

* * *

><p><strong>20th March 1998<strong>

Asher wandered into the lot at Tacoma Auto dropping her cigarette on the ground and scuffing it out with the toe of her sneaker and adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. The navy blue button up shirt that she wore over her white tank top and torn jeans was unbuttoned and flapping around her hips in the cool afternoon breeze.

"You just clock off?" A voice said behind her and Asher grinned, spinning around on her heel to come face to face with Spanner, the Prospect with his cropped brown hair and mischievous green eyes. She'd always liked Spanner, he didn't treat her like a little kid like some of the others did and he was always up to entertaining her. Today it seemed was no exception when she saw his black wifebeater smeared with white paint.

"Yep." She replied popping her lips with the word.

"All mine then?" He said winking and Asher grinned.

"Yep."

"You Miss Hayden are going to get me in trouble." He laughed as he dragged her towards the back of the clubhouse where paint tins were scattered around and she propped herself up on a ladder rung while Spanner pulled a joint from his jean pocket and rolled it between his fingers. "You up for it?" Asher nodded and took the lit joint from his hand and inhaled dropping her head back on the rung behind her and handing the joint back to Spanner.

"What're you painting?" Asher asked as she took the joint from him again.

"Back wall, someone got creative with some spray cans. Pretty sure it was Lorca and Donut wanting to punish me." He shrugged it off. Asher watched with interest as he leant over and picked up the paintbrush dipping it in white paint muscles rippling beneath tanned skin. She had to give him that- the hazing seemed to just roll off his back and he took it with a smile.

Pushing herself off the ladder Asher dumped her bag in the corner before walking over to him and holding out her hand.

"Got another brush?" Spanner nodded and gestured to the pile of paintbrushes along the wall. Asher picked one up and stripped off the plastic wrapping before taking her work shirt off leaving her in her tank and jeans.

"So how're things with you and the kid, baby girl?" Spanner asked as they painted side by side, handing the joint between them.

"Fine." She replied and didn't miss the sidelong glance he gave her. "What?"

"When are you going to realise he's not man enough for you, girl?" Spanner said seriously and Asher grinned, not sure whether it was the pot or his flirting.

"And you are?"

"Baby you have no idea." Asher thought back to the day at Thomas' birthday party when Happy had said something similar. And she had to admit she thought Spanner was hot, but she didn't want hot. She wanted a man, rugged and tough who wasn't afraid to break her.

"Sorry dude, totally not my type." she shrugged sadly and Spanner just laughed it off. He was used to her cut downs. That's why she appreciated him, because he didn't care. He wasn't going to bail on her just because she turned him down.

"One day…"

"What? You're gunna grow some balls Prospect?" Asher didn't miss the loud sigh that Spanner let out at the sound of the other mans voice. "He treatin' you alright, darling?" Asher turned around to face the fully patched member standing behind her. She recognised him from the birthday party but he wasn't a Tacoma member, not until recently anyway. He watched her with dark blue eyes, his blonde hair sticking up all over the place as he lit a cigarette, holding his lighter to the end with a large hand.

"I'll always treat Asher right, Kozik." Spanner replied.

"How'd you get a nickname like Spanner anyway?" The biker asked the Prospect, ignoring Asher for the minute.

"It's because he's a tool." Asher replied winking over at Spanner who flicked his paintbrush causing white paint to splatter all over her. "You asshole!" She shrieked, jumping away and Spanner grinned. Narrowing her eyes Asher pulled her arm back and swung, letting the paint on her paint brush rain on Spanner who was trying to get out of the way without running into Kozik who was watching on with amusement.

"Oh you're going to get it Baby girl." Spanner laughed, advancing on her and Asher stepped back stumbling on a paint tin. She felt herself go down before large hands wrapped around her arms and pulled her back up.

"Ah, hey Hap." Spanner stopped mid stride and straightened up. Asher didn't miss the look of fear that flashed across his face.

"Ah, thanks." Asher spun around on her sneaker heel and smiled nervously up at the man towering above her. Biting her lip she tried not to let the image of him in the bathroom at Thomas' birthday invade her mind. He nodded to her briefly and Asher felt her whole body tingle as his dark eyes assessed her body, his eyes lingering on the white tank top she was wearing and the bright red bra showing underneath it.

"Ahem." She heard Kozik clear his throat and turned around to see Kozik watching on, an amused look on his face and Spanner making himself busy with his paintbrush. "Heard from the others?" Asher finally heard Happy speak as she slipped away and took the paintbrush Spanner handed her.

"Be here in a few hours. Kyle and Bobby and the prospect." She heard Koz chuckle.

"Aight Brother." With a nod to Asher and Spanner, Kozik walked off, tossing his butt away. Asher could feel Happy's eyes on her as she painted and she stopped briefly to look over her shoulder at him.

"Prospect, Blues lookin' for you." Spanner didn't ask questions, he just took off, leaving Asher standing paintbrush in hand and still looking over her shoulder at Happy who was pretending to inspect the wall behind her before snapping his dark eyed glare on her. "Liz wants your help at home."

"Okay…" Asher said slowly, waiting for him to continue.

"She wants me to drop you back." He rubbed the back of his neck Asher rose and eyebrow. Twice in a row she was being escorted home by the Tacoma Killer. What the hell?

"I can get Spanner to if you want." She replied. His jaw clenched and he dropped his hand.

"You want a lift or not?" He growled and Asher refrained from a smart ass comment and walked over to pick up her bag and slide her work shirt back on, doing up a few buttons before she looked at the biker pointedly. He didn't say anything just turned around and stalked off towards the lot where his bike was parked. Asher followed along quietly not sure what to say to him so settled for not saying anything.

He dropped her in her driveway and with another nod he left again, revving the engine of the loud bike and leaving Asher watching after him. Guess the saying that women loved men that were mean to them really applied here she mused before jumping the chainlink fence into the Stevensons yard.

Knocking at the Stevensons had become non-existent sometime after Asher had turned six so she strode in and looked around the huge house. Figuring Liz would be down the hall she continued down there until she found Sarah and Liz sitting at the counter chopping vegetables.

"Hey."

"Hi Ash." Liz said smiling brightly up at her and Sarah gave her a cheerful wave. "I need those bread rolls made for tonight." She said gesturing to a bowl on the counter. Asher washed her hands before making her way over to the bench. The recipe on the table was handwritten on green paper and Asher couldn't help but run her fingers over the indents in the paper made by small doodles and little notes on the side of the page stuck in the notebook. This was her mothers recipe. Liz had been given all her mothers recipe books when she'd died but hadn't mastered the art of baking half the recipes but had taught Asher anyway in hope of the gene being passed down. "Who dropped you off?" Liz asked conversationally as Asher started on making the dough.

"Happy." Asher replied quietly, her thoughts being shot back to the biker and his surly expression when he'd offered her a ride.

"Good." Liz replied, dropping all the vegetables in the pot and pouring water from the kettle into it. Asher paused and looked over at the older woman with curiosity.

"What's with the whole Happy-babysitting thing?"

"One of the boys made a comment to Blue about Lorca and Spanner getting a bit…" Lizzie looked at her eight year old daughter who was watching on with interest, "_handsy." _Asher scoffed quietly to herself. It was ironic really if she was going to let anyone in her pants…it wasn't Lorca or Spanner. "Riley's going to meet us at the clubhouse tonight so when you finish here go and get ready sweetheart."

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><p>AN: Do what you people are awesome at and REVIEW x please...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three- I Smell Sex and Candy <strong>

_Like double cherry pie  
>Yeah there she was<br>Like disco superfly  
>Yeah there she was<br>I smell sex and candy  
>In here<br>Who's that lounging  
>In my chair<br>Who's that casting devious stares  
>In my direction<br>Mama this surely is a dream  
>-<em>_**Marcy Playground **__  
><em>

**20****th**** March 1998**

Asher was smashed. The world was spinning, but her and some of the other girls were dancing so fast it didn't bother her. She could see Riley over by the bar talking to some blonde girl. Good for him, he'd better get his game face on because in just over two months she would be shag assing out of Tacoma and he would have to find someone else to put up with him. Not that that would be a struggle for him. Plenty of girls wanted him. And she knew that. She'd tried breaking up with him, but it didn't work like that with him.

As she turned she tripped and felt arms grab her forearms. Giggling Asher looked up into the smiling eyes of some young guy with a shaved head and blue eyes and judging from the blurry patch on his chest he was from….Redwood Original?

"Alright there darlin'?" The man said and Asher straightened herself up.

"Great." She said sweetly and went to turn, but felt a hand wrap around her wrist and tug.

"Where you going sweetheart?" He asked as if it was the most profound thing in the world that she was walking away from him.

"Back to the dancefloor." Asher replied.

"Why don't you come and dance _for _me." She tried not to scoff, honestly she tried, but failed.

"I ain't no sweetbutt." She snapped.

"You look like a sweetbutt sugar. Come on. I'll show you a good time." He said, jerking her arm slightly but Asher stood her ground.

"I'll show you my right hook if you don't get your grimy fuckin' paws off me." She growled out. He didn't concede to her wishes, jerking her towards him, his breath on her cheek as he leered at her.

"Who do you think you are princess?" She felt an uncomfortable shudder go through her body. "You know who I am?" Knowing another smart ass retort would only cause him to get rougher with her, she just held her stance, glaring up at him with as much anger as she could, the spinning having stopped the moment he'd touched her. "I can have you kicked out on your ass in seconds." He sneered tugging her arm again. "Now you do as your told and get on your knees." He ordered and tugged her again, knocking her off balance and she almost went crashing into him but a heavily tattooed arm came around her waist and stopped her descent.

"Problem Kyle?" A gravelly voice said and this _Kyle _let her wrist go and looked up at the man above him.

"Just putting the sweetbutt in her place." Kyle replied and Asher felt the chest of her saviour huff out in a chuckle.

"She may act like a slut, brother, but this bitch is off limits."

"Age don't bother me, Hap." Kyle replied winking at his brother.

"I have a problem with it." Happy growled and Asher chanced a look up at him, seeing the underside of his clenched jaw. "Specially when she says no."

"Alright, fuck it man, she ain't worth it." Kyle waved his hand in dismissal and walked away. Asher felt another hand clasp around her wrist and in the space of five seconds she was outside the loud walls of the clubhouse, the cool breeze a welcoming blast to her face.

"Where's your boyfriend?" He growled out as he lit a cigarette and Asher watched him with interest as he towered over her and rubbed her wrist where Kyles hand had grabbed her.

"At the bar."

"Dickhead." He growled out inhaling his cigarette and pulling it from his lips. "You get off on him ignoring you like that?" Asher furrowed her brow in thought. She could handle herself most of the time. Any other time that something like that had happened, usually Blue or Lorca stepped in. Never Happy, he was usually more preoccupied with some sweetbutt.

"I can hold my own."

"Ain't about being able to defend yourself, baby girl." He almost laughed and she bit her lip at the name. Plenty of the guys called her that, it just sounded so damn sexy coming from him. She could feel the familiar warmth creep up her body as she held his eyes. "It's about claiming what's his."

"I don't belong to anyone." Asher bit out, turning her back on him to walk away but his hand grabbed her arm and jerked her back around to face him.

"That's why you're getting your ass grabbed by my brothers." He growled and Asher tried to pull her arm from his grip, her eyes locked on his as she clenched her jaw and wrenched her arm but he refused to let go. "Keep acting like a slut, we're gunna treat you like a slut."

"You know what Happy?" She snapped, stopping her struggle and bracing herself by spreading her feet shoulder width apart and squaring her shoulders. "I'm eighteen – I was looking after myself a long time before you came along." Cocking her eyebrow she watched his jaw twitch. Saw the way he refrained from saying something like he had that night at the diner. "Don't treat me like a child because we all know I'm not one." She jerked her arm again and he released her, letting her step back as the backdoor of the clubhouse opened. Asher spun around to see Riley standing there looking at the two of them standing out in the dark.

"Hey." He said his head going between the two people in front of him. Happy lit up another cigarette and stepped past the two of them and headed back into the clubhouse.

"Keep your bitch on a leash, kid." He growled as he stepped past and Rileys eyes widened as the back door slammed.

"What was that about?" Riley asked, stepping towards Asher but she stepped around him and faced him, backing towards the door whilst giving him her best seductive grin.

"Lets get a drink." He broke into a smile then and strode towards her, wrapping a strong arm around her and pulling her into him.

"You sure you're alright Baby?" He asked, looking down at her and she nodded, almost half heartedly.

"Fine. Come on."

* * *

><p>When he'd finished his cigarette, Happy made his way back out to the party and clenched his jaw at the sight at the bar. Asher was leaning between her boyfriends legs biting her lip as she looked up at him. Her hands splayed over his chest as she laughed up at him, her eyes shining brightly.<p>

He leant back against the wall, crossing his arms across his chest as he watched her interact with her boyfriend.

"You hit that?" Happy's head snapped to the side.

"What?"

"I've seen you eyeing up that piece of jailbait since my first day here Brother." Kozik said, leaning against the wall beside Happy and taking a sip of his beer. Happy hated that he'd been so transparent, but Kozik was right. Since Asher had walked into the bathroom the week before the little bitch had been traipsing around his head. He'd used a few blonde sweetbutts to distract him and it had done the job until the little bitch had been flirting with Spanner out the back. And that stupid boyfriend of hers couldn't even keep her safe from douchebags like Kyle Hobart. She needed better than that.

"I ain't fuckin' the jailbait." He snapped and stalked away, keeping his eyes ahead as he passed Asher and Riley at the bar.

* * *

><p>Asher tried to pretend she couldn't feel eyes on her back as she leant up against Riley. She turned her head slightly and saw Happy talking to the blonde member, Kozik, his face serious as always and she realised she was being stupid. Why would he care? She wasn't stupid. She was eighteen for godsake.<p>

"Hey babe, wanna get out of here?" Riley hissed in her ear, his hands sliding around her waist and Asher shrugged.

"I'm having fun." She replied, glancing back down at him. His brow was furrowed as he looked up at her with disappointment.

"Fine, whatever." He shoved her away and stood up stalking away. Asher watched him go and decided that she really did deserve that.

"Move it hussy." Asher was shoved to the side at the bar but managed to catch herself on the top before crashing to the floor. Turning around she came face to face with a relatively young bleach blonde. She couldn't help but smirk at the sight of the sweetbutt. "What?" The girl sneered and Asher clenched her jaw before smiling even wider.

"Last time I saw you, you were blowing someone in a bathroom."

"Jealous?" The blonde asked and Asher cocked her eyebrow.

"Yeah, totally." She replied sarcastically and turned on her heel, stalking away. Once she was outside she sat down on the cold cement and leant against the wall, shaking a cigarette out of her packet.

"Yeh got another one of them, love?" Looking up, Asher squinted at the guy standing over her, the patches on his cut catching her eye straight away. Prospect. And Scottish by the sound of his accent.

"Sure." Holding out the pack he took one and lit it before looking down at her.

"You mind?" He gestured to the empty concrete beside her and Asher shook her head slightly, watching him slide down on the ground with her. Holding the silver lighter out to her, Asher took it quickly and lit her cigarette, handing it back and watching the prospect slide the lighter into his cut. He inhaled from his cigarette making the scars on his cheeks stand out in the dim light. Asher turned her head so she was facing forward again and dropped it back on the wall. "Watcha doin' hiding out 'ere?" He asked after a minute or two of silence.

"Is that a come on?" Asher asked, not even turning her head to acknowledge the Prospect.

"Blonde and cold aren't my type darlin'." The Scotsman replied and Asher smiled slightly, reaching her hand over.

"Asher."

"Chibs." He had a firm grip and she gave him a trusting smile. She didn't say anything about his name, and he didn't say anything about hers. They sat there in silence until the back door swung open and a few more Sons stumbled out drunkenly slurring as they tumbled out onto the concrete laughing and swearing.

"Well well." The three men stopped and looked at Asher and Chibs sitting on the ground against the wall cigarettes in hand and Chibs with a beer between his knees. "What do we have here?" Lorca bellowed and Asher smiled sweetly as she felt the Prospect shift uncomfortably by her side. "Prospect, Bobbys lookin' for you." Asher turned her attention back to Chibs who quickly scrambled off the ground, nodded to her and walked inside, not a hint of hurrying in his stride. A calm swagger that said he wasn't scared of the tough bikers. Lorca turned his attention back to Asher as Bowie and Donut sniggered behind him. "You are like a magnet for trouble baby girl."

"I try." Asher replied sweetly and he shook his head again.

"You're lucky I like you." Then he was gone, the other two following like drunken puppies and the word _Slut _being said a bit too loudly for Ashers liking. She wasn't stupid. She knew that she was lucky that Lorca did like her. She wasn't a sweetbutt or an Old Lady. The only reason she was there was because Blue and Lizzie took it upon themselves to look after her. Lorca and Blue were two completely different people though. Blue was the father that looked out for his sons, Lorca was the killer that ruled with an iron fist. The only person that scared anyone more than Lorca was Happy, and Lorca had taught him everything he knew.

If they didn't like her – she'd be dead.

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><p>AN: This chapter was going to take a completely different route but I changed my mind. Let me know what you think Review x


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four- Fly <strong>

_I am not fly, I am levitation  
>I represent an entire generation<br>I hear the criticism loud and clear  
>that is how I know that the time is near<br>so we become alive in a time of fear  
>and I aint got no muthafucking time to spare<br>cry my eyes out for days upon days  
>such a heavy burden placed upon me<br>I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive  
>I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise<br>-__**Nicki Minaj (Feat. Rihanna)**_

**9****th**** April 1998**

"Do you want some help?" Asher looked up from her spot on her knees in the middle of the quad. Squinting she could make out the image of Courtney Bragen and Susan Jones looking down at her.

"Sure." She replied, tucking her hair behind her ear and gesturing to the paintbrushes beside her. "Thanks." The girls knelt down beside her and took up the paintbrushes, dipping them in the paint and getting to work.

"These look great Asher." Courtney said admiring the painted sign. "Prom is going to be awesome. Bet Riley's stoked to be nominated for King." Asher nodded as she swept the paintbrush along the drawn lines. Riley wasn't overly thrilled about being a prom king – it hadn't been helped that the Club had found out and was giving him a ribbing about it. "It would be so great if you two both won." Courtney continued.

"Oh how cute would that be?" Susan said, playing with the ends of her curly red hair.

"Yeah." Asher sighed. Totally cute.

"Nice work Miss Hayden." Asher turned her head to look up at the Principal, Janice Henderson looking down at her with her arms cross across her tiny chest as she peered through wire rimmed glasses. "I have to say, I thought I was going to regret making you Student Body President, but you've gotten your act together." She sighed almost regretfully and Asher grinned to herself.

"Thanks Jan."

"Don't make me change my mind Asher." The principal warned and stalked off, her heels clicking on the concrete. Courtney and Susan giggled at the retreating figure and Asher went back to painting the sign for senior prom.

"Dude, you totally rock as Student President." Courtney defended, smoothing down the skirt of her cheerleading uniform. "Without you we'd be having a shitty Prom like we do every other year. This year is going to kick ass." Asher smiled her thanks and kept painting.

"Not to mention how much money we raised this year for the school with all the events. Totally kick-ass." Susan laughed.

"Good to see you're being productive with your extra time Miss Hayden." A voice, almost too high pitched interrupted, casting a shadow over the banner in the sunny quad .

"You sound almost disappointed Coach Ainsely." Asher replied, bored and over this back and forth that was happening with her Lacrosse coach since she'd quit a few months ago. She flicked up her eyes at the man that was standing over them, arms crossed over his chest as he glared down at her. His brown hair was combed back and she often wondered if he had a picture of George Clooney taped to his mirror so he could model himself on him every morning. Though he wasn't half as attractive as George Clooney especially in the regulation red and white basketball shorts and white poloshirt.

"Of course Asher." She couldn't help but shudder at the way he said her name, and not in the pleasant way that Happy had said it two weeks ago. "Have fun girls." And then he was gone.

"Dude gives me the creeps." Susan muttered and Asher couldn't help but agree with her. He'd been a creep from the moment he'd become the gym coach at the high school the year before.

* * *

><p>An hour later the three of them had finished the last of the banners and Asher stood back to admire their handiwork as Courtney and Susan dashed off to cheerleading practise from the front of the building. Asher watched after them nostalgically. She missed cheerleading for some reason. She was a loner at heart, but the fun she had cheerleading was way better than lacrosse one that she'd had to give up when she was given Student Body Council duties.<p>

"Long time since I saw you in that uniform." Asher grinned as she turned around on her heel and smirked at Spanner leaning against his bike. "You missing it?"

"A little." She replied, her eyebrow twitching slightly. "You miss playing quarterback?"

"A little." He ran a hand through his short hair and smoothed down his Prospects cut. "Blue wanted me to pick you up and take you to the clubhouse."

"What's going on?" Asher stood her ground and cocked her head to the side, watching the nervous twitch in his hands. Things had been weird for weeks. Since Charming had been there she'd been finding herself being picked up and dropped off from school and work by various members of the Club. Mainly Donut and Spanner and sometimes Bowie, but there was no sign of Happy or the new guy Kozik which only further proved her point that something was up. She didn't know much about the club but she knew there was a reason why Happy was called the Tacoma Killer.

"Nothing for you to worry about Baby girl." Spanner replied, giving her a weak smile and a look that said 'please don't ask anymore questions'.

"I've got a shift this afternoon anyway." She said shrugging and walking away from the bike.

"Come on, I'll give you a lift. Blue would kill me if I left you to walk alone." He sighed and Asher rolled her eyes before turning around and fixing her gaze on him.

"Maybe I should let him." She replied, cocking an eyebrow and he gave her a grin.

"Come on baby. Lets go." He held his helmet out to Asher and she snatched it off him, giving him a sarcastic look before swinging her bag over her head and slid on the bike behind him. "Hold on." He shouted as he started the bike and she wrapped her arms around his waist before he pulled out onto the street and headed towards the gas station. "You want me to pick you up when you finish?"

"I'm a block from the lot. I think I can walk that far." Spanner rolled his eyes, but took the helmet she offered him and stuck it on his head before taking off again, leaving her in front of the gas station. She went out the back to change into the blue button up shirt and jeans, pulling her boots back on and heading out into the shop.

"Took your sweet ass time." Doreen said, coming around the side of the counter and popping her pink bubblegum between frosted pink lips.

"Sorry." Asher replied, watching the woman tug at the hem of her little denim skirt. She wasn't really sorry, she really couldn't care about impending on Doreens time. Not like Doreen had anywhere to be besides whoring herself out over at the Clubhouse.

"Well you're here now, I'm clocking off. " She popped her bubblegum again. "The soda shelves need restocking and don't forget to close the till."

"I know Doreen." Not like she'd been working there for the last two years.

"Okay, well laters babe." Doreen waved and disappeared out the back, leaving Asher at the counter alone.

* * *

><p>Asher had her feet propped up on the counter of the gas station as she flicked the pages of her chemistry book, writing notes as she went before sticking the pen in her mouth. Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose as she read, occasionally being pushed up when she realised they were about to fall off.<p>

The bell above the door chimed but she didn't look up from the book until there was throat clearing and she sighed, dropping the book on the floor and looking up at the older man with his receding grey hair and sad brown eyes, the wrinkles making his whole face droop. Glancing in the security camera to see a van parked in the spot for the second pump she returned her eyes to the customer.

"The Gas in number two." He said as he plopped a bottle of cola down on the counter and started pulling notes from his wallet.

"Twenty-two fifty." Asher said bored and he passed her the notes as the bell above the door chimed again. Once the notes were in the cash register, Asher handed the change back to him.

"Thanks darlin'. You have a nice night." Asher gave him a fake smile and watched him leave before the next customer walked through the door.

"You talking to me now?" She recognised the voice immediately before Riley came to stand in front of the counter.

"I was never not talking to you." She replied softly.

"I haven't seen you all week." He leant against the counter and looked over at her, raising one of his eyebrows over his warm brown eyes.

"I've been busy."

"Too busy to come to dinner or call?" Riley pressed.

"Can we talk about this later Riley?" She asked as the bell chimed and two familiar men walked in.

"Well, well if it isn't the future Prospect and his lil' lady." Lorca bellowed as he walked in, gesturing to the two of them as Donut followed him in.

"Hey Lorca." Riley said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair.

"Kid, hey Ash, wanna put those three pumps down on the tab." Lorca asked the rhetorical question and Asher nodded, looking down at the computer that was showing how much fuel had been taken.

"Sure." Lorca placed two large bottles of soda on the counter and Riley moved out of the way so they two Sons could pay for their stuff. The bell chimed again and Asher looked towards the door where Happy was walking through the door, tucking his nightglasses in the pocket of his cut. When he lifted his head his eyes caught hers immediately. Asher swallowed the lump in her throat at the sight of him, all muscles and tattoos and arrogance pouring out of every inch of him. His eyes left hers and glanced at Riley and she swivelled her head around to look at Riley who was talking to Lorca and Donut. She glanced back to him and saw his jaw twitch, a sure sign he was pissed, not that he'd ever admit it. He walked over and grabbed a few candy bars from the shelf and threw it down on the counter with the soda and the magazines that had been picked out. Happy pulled his wallet out, the chain jingling before throwing a couple of notes down as he picked up his things.

"Keep the change." He said with a nod and walked out again.

"Thanks Baby girl." Lorca swept the bottles and magazines off the counter and into his large arms. If Happy was acting strange the huge man wasn't letting on. "See ya 'round kid." He said to Riley before he left, Donut right behind him.

"I'm gunna head out. We'll talk this out later." Riley said when the door shut.

"Sure." Asher reasoned that she needed to sort this out. End whatever downward spiral the men in her life were putting her on. "Come by tomorrow, we'll get lunch or something."

"Fine. Later Ash." Asher watched him walk out before taking her seat in the chair and propping her legs back up on the counter and focussing on her homework.

* * *

><p>The clubhouse was quiet when Asher walked into the building just before eleven. She tugged her sweater sleeves down and looked around the empty bar. Looked like everyone was already turned in for the night so she decided to just walk home. It really wasn't that far.<p>

The wind was whipping along the street as she made her way along, block by block, counting them off as she went. She only had three blocks left when she heard the distinctive sound of Harleys coming down the street. Out of instinct she stepped away from the lamp light of the street and walked along quietly in the shadows, pulling her sweater tighter around her. Glancing over her shoulder as they came under the streetlamp she saw the red fuel tanks glint on the bikes. Stepping further into the shadows she kept her head down and hurried along a little more.

The revs of the bikes grew closer and Asher slowed down with every intention of diving into the hedge beside her if she had to. She'd been around bikes enough to know the sound of them slowing down, especially when they were as close as they were.

She stepped further into the dark when there was the sound of more approaching bikes. Asher prayed that by some miracle it was the Sons and not more of these assholes. "Fuck." One of the bikers yelled and she heard another shout before they revved up and sped out of town. The approaching bikes came closer and Asher stepped out of the shadows as the Sons coasted up along beside her.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" Happy turned off his bike and swung off it while the others watched on.

"I'm going home." Asher snapped back. Happy turned his head and jerked his chin at his brothers who each took off on their bikes, leaving Happy and Asher standing there in the dim light on the side of the street. Asher looked down at her hands which were still shaking before lifting her eyes up, dragging them over the white SOA t-shirt clad chest. They stopped their journey on the red splotches over his stomach and the drops near his collar. "What happened to you?"

Happy glanced down at the t-shirt and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ran into some trouble."

"Looks like it ran into you." She replied and stepped around him, starting to walk off again, but the biker snapped a hand around her wrist and pulled her back in front of him.

"Asher." He growled and she saw a twitch in his arm when he jerked her. He was hurt.

"Take me back to the clubhouse, I'll patch you up then you can get someone to take me home." She said, caving to the way he was glaring at her.

"I don-"

"I'll walk the rest of the way home then." She sighed and felt his fingers grip harder on her wrist.

"Get on the fucking bike."

* * *

><p>Happy's dorm room was a lot cleaner than she would have expected. She'd been into Spanners and Donuts rooms, both were plastered with porn centrefolds and Harley posters and smelt like old socks. Happys room didn't. There were Harleys and porn, but it didn't smell like old socks or pussy and she could see the floor.<p>

"And here I was thinking you were a mummy's boy." She muttered as Happy tossed his cut onto his bed and gingerly tried to ease his t-shirt over his head. "First aid?"

"Bathroom." He gritted out and Asher walked over to the bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet, pulling out the tiny first aid kit and went back to where Happy was sitting, pulling his knife from his belt. Once it was free, he held it to the hole in his shirt and tried to cut it off.

"Here." Asher pried the knife from his ringed fingers and ignored the frustrated look he was giving her. She gripped the t-shirt and stuck the blade in the hole near his shoulder and cut it until she'd exposed the skin on his upper arm. He'd been clipped by a bullet by the look of it. But she wasn't stupid enough to ask so she went to a subject that she had more interest in as she began to clean the wound. "So what's with the cold shoulder?"

He grunted.

"Bad pun." She realised and took the bottle of antiseptic he offered her, noticing that he didn't hiss when she pressed the stinging antiseptic to the wound on the top of his shoulder. It was just a graze, nothing too serious she hoped. When she'd taped the plaster on his shoulder she used the knife to slice down the side of his t-shirt and gestured for him to take it off with his good arm. She was not going to earn any points cutting up a SOA shirt. When she saw the familiar cuts on his stomach she shook her head slowly. Three months ago, she'd patched Spanner up in the bathroom at the gas station with a similar wound. "You ever hear of bolt cutters?"

"What?" Happy asked, looking up at her with a confused look.

"Barbwire cuts." She said gesturing to his stomach. "Lie down." She ordered and Happy obliged, lying down making the cuts stretch across his tattoos. The colourful mosaic stretching across his golden skin. Asher couldn't help running her fingers over the tattooed skin, the snake that stretched across his torso. She didn't even realise what she was doing until a large ringed hand wrapped around her smaller one.

"What're you doin'?" He rasped and Asher froze, her eyes on the tail end of the snake coiled along his body.

"Sorry." Biting her lip she looked down at the hand grasping her own and watched Happy lift his fingers one by one until she was released. One day she was going to have a permanent bruise where he kept manhandling her like he did. Taking a deep breath she calmed herself down and went back to cleaning the cuts on his stomach.

"Seen your Old Man lately?" He asked after a few moments of silence and Asher shrugged not taking her eyes off the cuts.

"Sure."

"Shit ain't right girl." He offered and Asher looked up at him narrowing them slightly as she tried to establish what he was getting at.

"Whatever." She went back to work but felt his hand wrap around her wrist again and he tugged it as he sat up and looked at her sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You should hate him for what he's done to you." He growled and Asher furrowed her brow, cocking her head slightly as she glanced up at him.

"I don't hate him."

"You should."

"Do you hate your mum?" She asked, tugging her wrist from his grip wondering if there was ever going to be a time when Happy and her discussed mundane topics like the weather or school.

"No." he replied indignantly and Asher cocked her eyebrow.

"How can I hate the one person I have left? He's my dad- he loves me." Asher said, picking up all the gauze she'd used to clean him up and walking into the bathroom, throwing the bloody gauze in the bin. His words had thrown her off. Very few people knew what had happened with her mum, or what her Dad was like, but those that did usually kept their opinions to themselves. Leaning against the sink she sighed, taking a deep breath and looked up in the mirror at herself. Black rimmed blue eyes glared back at her, pale skin stark against the dark eye make-up.

"I'm not going to apologise." The raspy voice said behind her and Asher saw Happy standing in the doorway, watching her.

"I wouldn't expect you to." She saw his lip twitch and narrowed her eyes at his reflection before spinning around to face him. "What?"

"That's the whole problem isn't it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"You don't expect anything from anyone." He reiterated, stepping forward and Asher braced herself against the basin. "Don't expect the kid to protect you, don't expect the club to look after you, don't expect your father to raise you."

"So?" She asked, cocking her eyebrow trying not to let on that he'd read her so easily. "Why expect things from people when all they do is disappoint you?" He was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek, the heat was radiating off his body.

"You want an idea baby girl? Ditch your punk ass boyfriend and smarten the fuck up." He growled.

"And what? Become Spanners Old Lady and be stuck in this hell forever? " She snarked back, hating how his gaze was sending a pleasant shiver through her body. She wanted to him to make a move. Any move to prove that he was right, that he wouldn't disappoint her. Asher bit her lip, licking it quickly as she held his eyes. Happy opened his mouth to say something but stopped at the sound of movement then a voice too close for comfort.

"Yo Hap!"

* * *

><p>AN: Let me know what you think! Review x


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five – Alejandro <strong>

_I know that we are young  
>And I know that he may love me<br>But I just can't be with you like this anymore  
>At this point I've got to choose<br>Nothing to lose  
>Don't call my name<em>

_**-Lady Gaga**_

**9****th**** April 1998**

"Yo Hap!" Happy had turned around as Kozik walked in and saw them standing in the bathroom. His blue eyes shifted between the two of them, the usual hinting smile on his face completely gone as he looked at his brother, "Prez is lookin' for Asher." He said, gesturing slightly to the girl.

"I was just leaving." Asher said quietly, slipping past both Sons and picking up her bag from the ground. Before she reached the door she heard Koziks voice.

"Hey jailbait, thanks." She stopped and looked over as Kozik gestured to a patched up Happy, Asher nodded with a small smile on her face before she was out the door.

Happy went to step past Kozik, his body still humming from being so close to the little blonde when he felt Koziks hand wrap around his bare arm.

"What're you doing brother?" Happy growled.

"Could ask you the same thing _brother._" Kozik replied calmly. "I asked you once if you were fucking the jailbait and you said no, so what the fuck are you doin?"

"Gettin' dressed." Happy snapped and wrenched his arm out of Koziks grip giving him a malicious glare as he went. Fucking Kozik had to stick his nose in where it wasn't needed. It wasn't like he'd been going to do anything with the little blonde bitch pressed up against the sink like that after the way she'd run her fingers over his chest. He eased a clean t-shirt over his head and gingerly slid on his cut as Kozik watched on.

"I've known you a long time Hap, that little bitch has you so twisted up you're gunna end up putting someone through a fuckin' wall." Happy stopped and glared at Kozik. He wanted to tell Kozik to fuck off, but Kozik was right. He had nearly put someone through a wall over the girl – first Kyle Hobart and then that kid at the gas station. "Think you're taking your protection duties a bit too seriously brother." Kozik slapped him on the good shoulder and vacated the room before Happy could say something to defend himself.

Kozik was going to be the person he put through a wall if he wasn't careful.

* * *

><p>Asher didn't miss the fact that her bedroom light was on when she got home and climbed out of Blues truck. Glancing around she saw Lizzie standing in the doorway of their house, waiting for Blue to climb out of the truck and the familiar red Camaro across the road. Her fathers truck wasn't in their driveway so there was only one person that could be in her house.<p>

"See you tomorrow baby girl." Blue shouted after her as she climbed over the fence and waved in recognition as she continued up to her front door, pushing the door open and fumbling for the lights as she kicked the door shut. Adjusting her bag on her shoulder she decided it was best just to get it over and done with as she walked up the stairs.

She may have nearly made a move on Happy earlier before abusing him. But he'd had a point. She was never going to get anywhere if she didn't get rid of the people that disappointed her.

"We were meeting for lunch." Asher said as she leant against the doorframe and looked over at Riley stretched out on her bed, his arms bent behind his head.

"Couldn't wait." He threw in an All American smile for good measure but Asher didn't move so he sat up. "Where you been?"

"At the clubhouse." She tried to avoid the hiss in her voice but Happy had really gotten to her. Him and his stupid wise words. Everyone had told her to get out of her relationship with Riley, but for some reason his had hit home the most. Probably because he'd pointed out exactly how she felt. Stupid bikers.

"What were you doing there?" Riley asked, his blonde eyebrows rising as he pushed himself off the bed and straightened his flannelette shirt. The jealousy that she would have preferred when she'd been getting pawed by Sons, shining through his words.

"I'm not doing this with you." She snapped and dropped her bag on the ground near the door before stripping off her work shirt and kicking off her sneakers.

"Not doing what?" Riley asked, turning around to watch her move around the room.

"The jealousy thing."

"I went past the clubhouse on my way from seeing you at the gas station. Everyone was gone – Spanner was the only one there." He said, coming closer and Asher straightened up to spin around and glare at him.

"I didn't even see Spanner. The rest of the boys came home when I was walking home." Why was she defending herself? She didn't need to.

"If you're cheating on me…" Riley started and Asher held her hand up.

"I'm breaking up with you." Asher said firmly, holding his brown eyed gaze.

"What?" Confusion quickly turned to surprise at her words. "You're what?"

"I'm breaking up with you Riley, I can't do this anymore." She sighed, running a hand through her hair and yanking the hair tie out to release some of the tension on her head.

"Are you fucking someone else?"

"No, I'm not fucking anyone else. This is a choice I made on my own." She explained. Well, mostly on her own. Riley clicked his jaw, an annoying habit he did when he was angry, opening his mouth and shifting his bottom jaw until it clicked. Then he rubbed his chin. Yeah, he was taking this well, Asher mused to herself.

"Right, well I guess I should go then." Stepping back Riley gave her a pained look before turning on his sneakered heel and stalking out, Asher watching on.

"Riley." She sighed quietly, but he was long gone.

* * *

><p><strong>10<strong>**th**** April 1998**

Kozik was enjoying a quiet morning whiskey in the clubhouse the next day, still smirking to himself whenever he saw Happys scowl or the way he was huffing around. It only got so much better when that sweet little bit of jailbait waltzed into the bar and plopped herself down next to him on a barstool.

"Usual?" The brunette sweetbutt that had been around long enough to share a mutual respect with the girl asked as she flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder. The blonde nodded as she pulled a packet of cigarettes out of the pocket of the navy blue button gas station shirt she was wearing and slapping them down on the bar. He watched with interest as she tapped her black fingernails on the white packet and watched the barmaid pour her a drink.

"Bit early for vodka innit?" Koz said, leaning on the bar smirking at the blonde who didn't take her eyes from the glass on the bar.

"Pot meet kettle." She said quietly, her fingers still tapping on the packet of cigarettes, biting her lip in contemplation. Finally she seemed to cave and pulled a cigarette out and sticking it between her lips before fishing a lighter from her jeans and lighting the cigarette.

"A woman after my own heart." Kozik laughed as she exhaled slowly and watched the smoke trail up in the air. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and Kozik grinned a bit wider. "Come on jailbait, fess up, whats with you and the Killer?" Swivelling her head around she laid a dark blue eyed glare on him and narrowed her eyes, causing her eyebrows to scrunch.

"I'm not here to chat." She replied before inhaling from her cigarette again.

"What're you here for then?" He asked, leaning over the bar a bit more trying to get comfortable. He liked the girl, she had spunk. She didn't get to answer him as Blue stalked into the bar and zeroed in on them. Asher quickly downed the rest of her drink and stubbed out her cigarette.

"This is my cue." She said, not even looking at him as she slid off the stool, slapping her hand on the packet of cigarettes and headed towards the door.

"See you around jailbait." He called after her and Asher lifted her hand and flipped him the bird. Yeah, he liked that girl.

"Who's the bitch?" The familiar cheap perfume burnt through his nostrils as he watched Asher saunter away in her cut off shorts and sneakers.

"Someone you need to be careful of Mia." He replied before turning back to his drink, which the brunette was topping up. He nodded his thanks as he felt Mia take a seat beside him.

"I know she's fucking Happy." The blonde said, reaching for his drink and Koz wrapped a large hand around her fake tanned wrist.

"You keep your opinions to yourself _whore." _He growled and shoved her away. Mia glowered at him but got up off the chair and sauntered away, her heels clicking on the floor and Kozik regretted, not for the first time, bringing the fucking croweater to Tacoma.

* * *

><p>A few hours later Kozik was enjoying a late afternoon whiskey accompanied by a cigarette when the door slammed and Spanner walked in carrying a large box of bottles. Top shelf whiskey kind of bottles.<p>

"Be careful with them Prospect!" He yelled at the prospect before turning his attention back to his own glass. It was too quiet for a Saturday afternoon. Most of the others had gone on the trip south to deal with their current problem and he was left to man the fort, or sit at the bar anyway. Lorca was still in town, at home with the wife at that moment, otherwise it was just him and the Prospect.

When the clubhouse door slammed again Kozik turned his head to see the blonde haired son of Blue striding towards the bar. Spanner had heard the sound and stood up, turning around just as Riley strode over to him and swung his fist to smack him in the face.

"You fucking her?" Riley yelled as Spanner stumbled back, taken off guard by the hit and Kozik jumped off the stool just as Riley went to hit the Prospect again, hitting him with an uppercut under his jaw.

"What the fuck?" Spanner shouted back as he straightened up and stood his ground in front of the seething teenager.

"Asher- you fuckin' her or what?"

"What? She finally gotten sick of your bitch ass?" Spanner sneered back only to have Riley launch himself at him again. Kozik managed to wrap an arm around the teenager and pull him back, trying not to sway with the amount of alcohol he'd drank that day.

"Woah woah, ease up son." He growled at the teenager who was pulling away from him. But Kozik was bigger and jerked him with one arm before pulling back and dropping the teenager flat on his back. "I said ease the fuck up."

Kozik saw Spanner fly in their direction just in time and held a hand up, pushing against his Prospect cut to stop the brawl that was about to break out.

"You too shithead." Kozik warned and Spanner held his hands up in surrender, stepping back from Koziks hand and looking down at the blonde on the ground. "Get the fuck up kid." Riley scrambled to his feet and stood in front of Kozik. "Now, tell me why you're stormin' in here like you wearin' a leather and drop a man."

"He's fucking my girlfriend." Riley spat and Spanner scoffed.

"From what I heard she isn't your girlfriend anymore." Spanner jeered back and Kozik found himself in the middle of an ego-filled sandwich, pushing Riley off with his hands and driving a shoulder into a rather large Spanner.

"Hey dickhead- back it up. You don't deck a Son over some piece of pussy." Kozik warned and Riley scoffed.

"Asher ain't just pussy right, Pete?" Riley sneered at Spanner and Kozik rose his eyebrows. "Any Son would give his left nut to have her as their old lady- you just wanted to climb the fucking ladder."

"Fuck you you privileged little shit. Ashers better than that. Thank fuck she dumped your stupid ass." With that Spanner spun on his heel and went back to work. Kozik looked at the back of the Prospect a little confused at what had just been said, but was more thankful that it was over to care.

"Come on kid, get out of here." He pushed Riley towards the door and followed him out to make sure he left before taking a seat on one of the old wooden chairs that rested against the wall and lit up another cigarette. Looked to him like the shit with the girl and Happy had finally come to a head. She'd dumped the punk so now what were they going to do? Sighing he exhaled and smirked – it was just like fucking high school all over again and so much better than Charming.

* * *

><p><strong>11<strong>**th**** April 1998**

Sunday morning, after a very long night out with Ashers only real girlfriend, Tasha, and an even longer late night dinner at the diner with Spanner, Asher crawled out of bed and got dressed before heading down the street, as part of her Sunday morning ritual. The walk to Jonesy's Bar near the cemetery took her twenty minutes but she enjoyed the quiet. It allowed her to sort out the noise in her head- usually. This week however- the noise was like a huge static that would not shut up. The bruises on Spanners face the night before when he'd picked her up from the party had led to a discussion about her and Rileys break up- the one she hadn't even discussed with Tasha. It was sad that the person she was closest to was an attractive Prospect that enjoyed hitting on her. But it was good to talk about it, she could tell Spanner was surprised by her openness but didn't say anything and she was willing to blame the alcohol she was topping her soda up with. She just left out the part with Happy, or all the parts involving Happy or the innuendos from Kozik involving Happy.

So most of the static in her head was Happy related. And after the twenty minute walk- she still couldn't make sense of any of it. But it was soon pushed from her mind when she approached the bar and saw her fathers red pick up out the front, making her sigh with a mixture of relief and disappointment. One day she would like to wake up with that truck parked out the front of their house. If it ever was it was because one of his work mates or drinking buddies had dropped him home and caught a taxi. At least he wasn't a drink driver.

_A positive note _

_Awesome_

Her eyes fell on the cemetery across the road and she couldn't help the anger in her veins. Her mother, just another disappointment. Left her motherless and having to look after her own father.

"This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you." She muttered before turning on her booted heel and stalking into the bar, letting the heavy door slam behind her and Jonesy, the barman looked up from cleaning glasses and smiled at her.

"How you going kid?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Fine thanks."

"Room twelve." He said jerking his head towards the back of the bar.

"Thanks."

"Codes seven-eight-two-five." He called after her and she gave him a dismissive wave before pushing the swinging door at the back open and stepping out into the sunlight of the back courtyard where the small units were set up in lines on either side of the courtyard. It was hardly quality living, with the old stained plastic chairs littering the brick covered ground, the cracks between each one filled with cigarettes and plastic wrappers. Walking over to number twelve she knocked on the door without an answer. She turned the doorknob and cringed when she felt a sticky substance on her hand.

"Gross." She muttered before wiping it on her jeans and looking around the courtyard. There was some guy walking over from the laundry carrying a basket of clothes, his bare feet strategically missing glass on the ground as he walked over to number ten, two doors down from the one in front of her.

"You alright darlin'?" the grey haired man asked her and Asher saw his face. He seemed familiar as his old brown eyes went up and down her body in a way she was used to since she was sixteen, but it didn't stop the chills down her spine.

"Fine thanks." She replied quietly and turned back to the door, watching out of the corner of her eye as he stuck his key in the lock and walked into his room, the door shutting quietly behind him. Once she was sure he was gone she stuck her hand in her back pocket and pulled out her drivers licence that she had grabbed from home before she left. Using the sleeve of her jacket she wiped the sticky substance from the doorknob before squatting down and sliding the card into the crack of the door and jiggling it until she heard the distinctive click of the dodgy lock. Standing up she held the card in place and lifted the door by the knob, watching it swing open. Jonesy really needed to get new locks.

Walking over to the beeping security system that maintained the privacy of his patrons belongings she typed in the numbers that Jonesy had told her. When the beeping stopped she glanced over to the mangy bed and sighed. Lying flat on his stomach, his back rising and falling with each breath was her father.

"Dad?" She called and walked over to squat down beside the bed and place her hand on her fathers shoulder. "Dad, wake up." She said shaking him gently and getting a loud groan. _Yeah I know how you feel_ she felt like saying. She'd been flat out getting more than two hours sleep after her night. "Come on Dad, you can sleep it off at home." Her father groaned again and she patted down his pockets in search of his truck keys before pulled him up. "Up and at it." She ordered.

"Princess?" Her father groaned when he was sitting up, rubbing his eyes and looking up at her. "What're you doing here?" He croaked and Asher patted his shoulder.

"Come on Dad, we've got to go. Jonesy can't let you stay here." He rubbed his face again and looked up at her again.

"Molly?" He asked and Asher felt her blood run cold. It had been a long time since he'd called her that. Not since she was sixteen and she'd started to look more like her mother.

"No, Dad, it's Ash." She said quietly and her fathers eyes narrowed.

"Ash, right…you look so much like your mother." He said sadly and Asher nodded.

"I know Dad, come on." She helped him up, thankful that he'd fallen asleep fully clothed this time and let him wrap an arm around her shoulders as she dragged him towards the door, leaving it swinging open for the cleaning lady before taking him around the side of the bar, avoiding Jonesy and down the alley and back out to the street where his red truck was parked. She pulled open the creaky passenger door and let him climb in and she slammed it behind him. Asher walked around the truck to the drivers side door and glanced back at the cemetery- looked like it was a typical Saturday night for her Dad. Drinking whiskey by her mothers grave until he could stumble over to Jonesy's and fall down in a heap. She didn't hate him, she just didn't understand. He was hurting and he had been for eighteen years and she honestly didn't know any better. That's the way he'd always been to her.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you reviewers! You guys are awesome. I plan to actually get the ball rolling a bit more in the next few chapters so just hang in there. Currently 12:30pm here…I'm procrastinating studying for my exams and waiting for all our foals to be born. So Reviews would make me happy =D x


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence. _

Reviewers- you guys are awesome- thank you so much

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six- Jelly Legs <strong>

_She leaves me with jellylegs  
>Where did all my good luck get to?<br>We're curled up like sleeping kittens on the floor  
>Stowed aboard your big green boat<em>

_She took aim with a turned back_  
><em>Blew holes in me with cold silence<em>  
><em>Then a science project volcano erupts inside me<em>  
><em>Filling me with flat champagne<em>  
><em>-<strong>Children Collide<strong>_

**Tacoma WA, **

**15****th**** April 1998 **

"Okay, try again Sarah." Mrs Jacobson said as Sarah sat at the piano in the older ladys house. After school every Thursday she walked down to the older womans house and had piano lessons. After an hour, her father or one of her Uncles would pick her up and take her home. But she didn't want to practice her scales, she was excited about Asher's prom tomorrow night. Asher had said she could help her get ready. Sarah had always wanted a big sister, and Asher was so cool, she loved spending time with her. She always went out of her way to do things with Sarah, which was more than her brothers did. Riley was always too busy with his friends, and Thomas didn't want anything to do with his little sister, so Sarah spent most of her time with her mum.

It was because of Asher that Sarah was taking piano lessons. One day a few years ago, Asher had sat with Sarah on her lap and played Amazing Grace, letting Sarah press one key when she told her. After that she'd begged her mother for piano lessons so that she could learn to play just like Asher.

A few scales later, she finally perfected the notes and Mrs Jones ushered her out of the tiny house, saying she had to get to bingo before shutting the door behind her. Sighing, Sarah hoisted her book bag onto her shoulders and stepped down the stairs to the footpath. There was only three houses between Mrs Jones' house and the school but there was no sign of her dad or her uncles. She started to walk back down to the school, looking for the familiar truck of her dads. The only car in the whole street was a dark blue van parked across the street. Deciding that they must be running late, Sarah scrambled up onto the brick wall at the front of the school and waited.

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere across the WA border <strong>

**15****th**** April 1998 **

California was good for a few things- there was a reason they wrote country songs about it being full of whiskey, women and gold. Three things Happy had drowned himself in during the three days he'd been down in Charming with Lorca and Bowie. Things were getting tense and all the trips between charters was starting to wear on him, but they'd been reassured this was the last one. Soon he would be back in his own bed in his own clubhouse. He inhaled from his cigarette, staring at his boot clad foot and exhaled the smoke slowly. If anything he'd been hoping the added stress and the travelling would keep his mind off the little blonde that he'd had pressed up against his sink a few days ago and the challenge in her eye, but it hadn't. As soon as he closed his eyes she strode straight into his thoughts like she did the clubhouse. He'd been watching her a long time, overheard the things said about her. Bitch had spent her whole life shutting people out and not getting attached- you could even see that she wasn't that into her boyfriend at times, that kind of shit was messed up. And hell, he'd always enjoyed a challenge and getting her all riled up and watching her eyes burn as she glared at him, was so worth it.

Why the fuck was he thinking about some eighteen year old who was shacked up with the presidents son? It wasn't like he hadn't seen hotter women with better racks and bigger lips. But it wasn't about sex. Shit it wasn't even about looks. It probably had everything to do with the fact that he saw the same thing in her as he had in himself years and years ago, before the club. He'd been just as lost and untrustworthy as her until the club. Nearly six years had passed since he'd met Lorca in prison after he'd been incarcerated for manslaughter, six years since the night at the bar in Tacoma and his first kill.

"I don't like it." Lorca said quietly as they sat astride their bikes at a gas station just over the Washington border smoking.

"What's to like?" Bowie replied looking pointedly at the VP. "This shit is fucked up brother and after seein' that prospect. Shit, man."

"Hap?" His head shot up and he glanced over at his brothers who were expecting some kind of input to the discussion.

"Blues not going to go for it." He rasped, taking another drag of his cigarette. The moment Redwood had turned up and told them that they were switching up their gun supply to a larger load Blue had started balking. Blue hadn't trusted the irish since they'd started dealing with them all those years ago. As far as Blue was concerned the Irish were more likely to light them up and watch them burn than help them out.

Blue had said no. The word was sent back to Charming, word was sent back.

_Too fucking bad. _

"I don't trust those Irish bastards as far as I could throw them. " Bowie said pointing his finger at the ground and glaring at his VP. "Bad Karma man." There was Bowie and his Karma. If Bowie did something bad, he was certain that Karma was going to kick his ass for it. And usually the bad that followed, he just copped it. But by the look on his face, he was not going to like the fallback on this plan.

"Me neither." Lorca said tiredly, leaning forward and resting his arms on the handles of his bike. "But with the Mayans hanging around – nearly picking up Asher the other night, we need to sort this shit out and quick. We gotta get Blue on board otherwise we're going to have to deal with the fuckin' IRA _and _Clay Morrow up our asses. " He rubbed his chin which was sporting a dark three day old stubble. Lorca was tired and the weight of having to convince their president it was the right move was wearing on him. "The hardware is good- I have to admit those red headed bastards know what they're doing."

"But can we trust them?" Bowie asked pointedly, "That Prospect his face was all kinds of fucked up and Kyle said it was Irish."

"The mans Scottish." Happy said, tiredly, not really sure how they were going to convince Blue to just go with it. Blue was a good president, but he took care of his boys first, the other charters second. If he thought the fallout from Redwoods decision would affect Tacoma he was not going to go for it.

"Scottish, Irish same fuckin' thing." Lorca snapped. "Point is we don't have a choice. Get your thinkin' caps on and lets get the fuck outta here, I got a horny Old Lady and a drink callin' my name." Starting his bike, Lorca pulled out of the gas station without another word and the other two shared a look before starting their own bikes and following him.

It was good to be home, Happy mused as he climbed off his bike and was greeted by a familiar redhead and the sloppy blonde from California.

"How you doin' Hap?" The redhead purred, but after a long ride and too much time left alone with his mind, Happy had his eyes on the blonde. A poor substitute but blonde was blonde he decided as she took his hand and dragged him towards the clubhouse. And who was he to complain.

The complaining only started as he passed the bar and Kozik appeared, slapping a hand on his chest, stopping all plans.

"How was the trip?" He asked and Happy couldn't help but notice the grin on his face.

"Fine." He growled as the blonde looked up at him expectantly.

"Mia, take a hike, bitch." Kozik said directing his attention to the sweetbutt and jerking his head. The blonde pouted but left, her stilettos clacking on the wooden floor.

"What the fuck?" Happy asked pissed that his lay had been warned off by a brother.

"Saw something pretty interesting day you left." Kozik said that shit eating grin getting bigger.

"What?" Happy almost sighed, waiting for Koziks big reveal.

"Prez's kid came in here and took a swing at the Prospect."

"So?" This was hardly exciting. He'd seen Riley try to have a go at Spanner before. He went to walk away when the hand slapped on his chest again and he clenched his jaw.

"Kid said his girl dumped his ass, came flyin' in here fists flying coz he thought it was because of the Prospect." Happy didn't miss the look Kozik was giving him, grin still in place and felt his jaw twitch. Koziks grin turned to a smirk. "Thought you'd appreciate the heads up." Then Kozik was gone as quickly as he appeared.

* * *

><p>Asher stood on the footpath, smoking as she waited for Spanner to come and pick her up. Hollering down the street made her turn her head as she saw a group of young kids coming down the pathway on skateboards towards the park behind her. The abandoned lot had been turned into a skatepark for the local kids a few years ago, and was now frequented by kids during the day and pot smoking teenagers during the night. When she and Riley were kids they'd hang out there, watching the skateboarders take on the slopes and jumps. When she'd gotten older her and Tasha had found themselves down there, smoking joints and drinking with the other Tacoma teenagers. It was just the way things went.<p>

The Skateboarders didn't slow down as they went past her, nearly running her over and Asher recognised one quickly enough to reach out and snag his collar, pulling him from his skateboard.

"Ash!" The kid whined when he stumbled from his board, Asher's hand the only thing stopping him landing on his face.

"You're mother is looking for you shithead." Asher said, looking down at Thomas, her eyebrow quirked.

"She knows I'm here." The kid nodded as if forcing her to agree with him. Asher took another drag of her cigarette and glanced over at his abandoned skateboard.

"Whatever- fuck off before I tell her I saw you down here." She replied with a jerk of her head and Thomas grabbed his skateboard and took off, Asher watching him as he went. Spanner was taking his sweet ass time, but when she heard the familiar sound of an approaching bike she sighed with relief only to groan when she recognised the rider. He wasn't meant back in town for two more days according to Spanner.

He coasted in beside the curb and looked up at her from behind his sunglasses, taking off his helmet in the process.

"Get on. " He ordered and she cocked an eyebrow, not moving an inch.

"I'm waiting for Spanner." She replied and his jaw twitched. _Great, now she'd pissed him off._

"Prospects busy. Get the fuck on." She almost fought him then realised he'd given her an order without a threat attached. Usual Happy would have told her to get on or walk her ass home. This Happy, the pissed off one that was holding his helmet out to her, wasn't bothering with threats. Which probably scared her more.

Taking the helmet she put it on and did the strap up before sliding on behind him. He kicked the bike into gear and took off, flying down the street. It didn't take long before they pulled up at her house and he parked the bike in the driveway. Taking the helmet off she watched as he assessed his surrounding in the late afternoon, his eyes darting along the brightly lit street before he got off the bike.

The move surprised her, but not as much as the words that followed.

"We need to talk."

Since when did her and Happy _need _to talk.

"By all means…" Asher sighed walking over and pushing the front door open, waiting for him to follow her before shutting it and heading towards the kitchen. She saw his eyes go around the minimalist living room as he followed. "You've never been in here?"

"Nope." She rose her eyebrows briefly before searching through the fridge and withdrawing two beers her father had gotten to yet and placed them down on the counter.

"So?" He didn't take a beer though or answer her question. He just glared at her, his eyes dark before he shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face.

"What'ya doin' cheatin' on the kid with the Prospect, bitch?" He finally said and Asher furrowed her brow.

"Happy…" She started, what was she going to say?

_I want you._

_I broke up with Riley because of you. _

None of those were acceptable. She was eighteen- legal but still morally wrong when he was in his early thirties.

"I-" She was cut off when the house phone started to ring and she glanced over to it hanging on the wall.

"I'll be outside." Happy said quietly, stepping back and going out into the front yard. Asher watched him leave before walking over and lifting the phone off the hook, her eyes still on the door that Happy had just left out of.

"Hello?"

"_How's my favourite granddaughter?"_ The familiar sound of her grandmothers voice came down the line and Asher couldn't fight the smile on her face.

"Cousin Katie would hate you saying that Madster." Her grandmother, like her mother was a Matilda, nicknamed Maddie, like Ashers mother had been Molly.

"_Don't tell her Ash, AJ has so many kids and his brother…"_ Her grandmother let out a loud sigh and Asher stifled a chuckle. Her grandmother had never really gotten over the fact that her other uncle hadn't had any children. _"How are you sweetheart? Hows your father?"_

"I'm great, Madster." Asher lied, "Riley and I got nominated for prom King and Queen. And Dads totally psyched."

"_Oh honey that's great. Your Uncle Tony is wiring through some money for your dress." _Maddie's second husband, was old Italian money. Asher thought it was hilarious that they had an Uncle Tony that looked everything the mobster Asher Senior hadn't. Asher Senior had died of cancer a few years after Asher was born. He had been twenty years older that Maddie and had been the love of her life. She still told stories about him, how he had served, how he had been quiet and serious with everyone, but had a tender side to him when it came to his family. All traits handed down to Asher Junior or AJ as he was known, his two siblings having taken more after Maddie.

Uncle Tony had never met Asher's grandfather, but Maddie still had memento's of her late husband in their house. Asher always thought it was kind of sweet that Uncle Tony wasn't threatened by Asher Seniors presence in the house.

"I don't need money, Madster, Dad's given me all the money I need." Another lie. Her mothers prom dress had been fished out of the back cupboard and altered.

"_You can use it for a lovely pair of shoes or something. Show that Riley just how lucky he is." _

"Fine."

"_Good, look I've got to go baby, I can hear Tony calling me. I'll call you in a few days." _She could hear her step-grandfathers heavy Italian accent down the line.

"Okay."

"_Love you darling." _

"Love you too Madster." Then there was a click and Asher was standing in silence, staring at the phone in her hand. Hanging up she brushed the guilt from lying away and headed towards the front door. If it stopped her grandmother worrying, then she'd deal with it. Pushing the front door open she saw Happy leaning against the front of the house, smoking as he looked over the street. "You're still here."

"Said I'd be out here." He replied and stubbed out his cigarette and walked over to her. "Get inside." He ordered quietly and Asher gave him a confused look, but went back into the house.

"What?"

"You know there's some guy sitting out there in a red Camero watching your house?" He hissed and Asher furrowed her brow.

"Huh?"

"The red car outside. How often is it there?" He hissed and Asher realised what he was talking about.

"That's Collie." It was his turn to furrow his brow.

"Who?"

"Collie- he's my stalker." There was never a time in her life that Asher thought she would see Happy Lowman look surprised.

"You fuckin' kiddin' me? That guy sits out there all the time and watches you?"

"He goes to my school- he's got an eleven o'clock curfew so he's not out there all night. Not to mention he has church on Sundays." She saw his face harden and swore he was grinding his teeth in anger.

"He could be a fuckin' serial killer." He hissed. It was like Happy was worried that Collie would hear them. Asher could help the smile on her face at his words. "What?"

"Bit hypocritical isn't it? Accusing him of being a serial killer?" His jaw twitched. He was really pissed now.

"Jesus, fuck."

"Seriously, he just sits out there and keeps a log of my actions. I keep the blinds closed if I don't want him to see something." Collie had been a constant part of her life in the last year. She didn't mind him hanging around. She'd tried talking to him in the start- at school when they had classes together, but he always blushed and ran away so she'd given up. "Hes harmless."

"Tell me that when he's standing over your bed with a fuckin' knife."

"Collies not like that. He'd never hurt me." Asher defended the teenager.

"You're fuckin' stupid sometimes girl." He growled and spun on his heel, heading towards the door, it slamming in his wake.

What the fuck had just happened?


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven – Follow You Home <strong>

_And I'll stay alive  
>Just to follow you home<br>And I will survive  
>'Cause you're my Mississippi Princess<br>You're my California Queen  
>Like the Duchess of Detroit<br>And every city in between  
>You can slap me in the face<br>You can scream profanity  
>Leave me here to die alone but<br>I'll still follow you home  
><em>_**-Nickleback**_

**Tacoma  
>15<strong>**th**** April 1998**

"Hey!" Asher stormed out the door after Happy, the screen door slamming as she stepped out into the bare front yard and glared at the biker getting on his Harley. "You know what?" He paused, looking over at her, his jaw twitching as he held his helmet in his hands, his sunglasses on his face. "Fuck you!"

The helmet was placed down on the handlebars and he swung his leg off the bike before he was striding towards her.

"What did you just say to me, bitch?" Asher lifted her chin and maintained eye contact. She wasn't going to let him walk all over her.

"You've known me for years Happy and you never gave a shit, so don't come into my life _now_ and stomp your stupid imposing feet all over it." She bit out, her voice just above a hiss. "I don't appreciate it and I sure as hell don't need it."

She swore she saw his lip twitch, like he was fighting a smile as he leant down to her level, his body invading all her personal space.

"Nice to see you actually give a shit about something." He growled out, his breath hitting her lips and Asher felt her heart rate increase tenfold.

"Is that what this is about?" She asked, things clicking into place, "You think I don't give a shit about anything? Guess you don't know me as well as you think then." Spinning on her heel, she started back to the house, but his gloved hand wrapped around her arm and jerked her backwards. She was spun around to face him again, his grip still tight on her arm and their chests were touching. She thought he was going to kiss her as he stared down at her through his dark glasses. The only thing snapping her out of the trance was a shout from next door and she turned her head to see Lizzie running towards them.

Just as quickly as he'd pulled her into him, Happy pushed her away, both of them turning to face the Old Lady.

"Asher! Have you seen Sarah?" Asher furrowed her brow. Lizzie had been looking for Thomas a few hours ago.

"Doesn't she have a music lesson?" Walking over to the fence Asher, ignored Happy following her, and Lizzie didn't question his presence, too flustered with the idea of her missing daughter.

"She finished it two hours ago. Blue went to pick her up and she wasn't there."

"I'll get the boys." Happy said quickly and looked over at Asher. "You stay here, got it? Don't go anywhere." Asher rolled her eyes but waited until he was gone before looking back at Lizzie.

"She'll be okay." She reassured. "She's probably just with some friends." She knew it was a lie. If she knew anything about Sarah, it was that she wasn't the type of girl to just wander off. And with the reputation that the Sons had, kidnapping was a very high possibility. "I'm going to start calling some of her friends." Lizzie smiled gratefully and Asher squeezed her arm across the fence before heading back into her house, picking up the phone and starting the ring around.

* * *

><p>"Where've you been?" Bowie asked when Happy stalked into the clubhouse and glanced around.<p>

"Shit to do. Where's the Prez?"

"Sherriff. His kids missing." Bowie blew out his cigarette smoke and Happy nodded. "Lorca found one of the Mayans, he's waiting for you out at the shed." He nodded again. Looked like Lorca had gotten his lead. If Mayans were in town, there was a good idea where Sarah was.

"Aight, send the Prospect down to the school, get him and Donut asking around." Happy ordered and Bowie nodded.

"On it, Brother." Taking a deep breath, Happy headed towards the back door towards the ramshackle shed down the back with the heavy wooden door. A sense of calm came over him as he reasoned that he was going to find the kid before he stepped through the door to see the Mayan hanging from the rafters, his hands hanging above his head.

"Things are about to get interesting Essai." Lorca grinned when he saw Happy walk in.

* * *

><p>Asher put down the phone for the fourth time and sighed. There was still no sign of Sarah and no-one had any idea where to start. The police had already turned up on a few doorsteps and Asher knew that between the cops and the Sons, she would be found. But she wasn't so sure of the state of the little blonde girl she thought of as a little sister.<p>

The shrill ring of the phone made her jump and she snapped it up.

"Hello?" She asked breathlessly.

"You better get over here kid.." The voice on the other end of the line said and she didn't need to ask who it was before they hung up and she sighed, leaning heavily against the doorframe and staring at the phone in her hand. Jonesy's voice was almost more recognisable than her own fathers. Glancing at the calendar beside the phone she recognised the date. A date that meant little to her, but everything to her father.

Her mothers eighteenth anniversary.

Trust her father to need picking up in the middle of a crisis. Looking around the kitchen she could see the red Camaro parked out on the street, the dark head sitting in the front seat. It was either that, or walk.

* * *

><p>Colin Dennis's days were usually pretty mundane. He spent his days at school and his afternoons sitting in the Tacoma street, watching the house across the road. But today, today was different.<p>

He'd known Asher Hayden since he was a freshman at Tacoma High School and the instant he saw her, he was besotted with her. There was just something about her that made him want to watch her forever. He'd seen everything, the fights she'd had with her boyfriend, the way she forgave him and soon drew the blinds so he couldn't see anymore. He was okay with that. He thought Riley Stevenson was a complete douchebag anyway. He was a Jock, with the hottest girlfriend and thought he was the king of the world. And in tomorrow night, at Prom he would be the king. What a douchebag. He didn't know how someone as sweet and beautiful as Asher Hayden could want to be with someone like him.

Today had been the most interesting of days though. He'd first seen her this afternoon, standing at the skatepark, smoking and watching skateboarders ride past before one of the town Bikers, a Son, had pulled up. She'd spoken to him quickly and he'd said something back before she was climbing onto the bike and taking off. He didn't recognise the biker. Usually she hung out with Pete Davies, who was a Prospect with the Motorcycle gang and had been a footballer a few years ahead of them at school.

He liked Pete Davies though. When he'd first started school, a bunch of juniors had tried to drown him in the sink in the boys locker room after Gym one day and Pete had stepped in, scaring all of them away before helping him up and giving him a small smile.

"Next time one of those punks has a go, whip this out." A switchblade was placed in his hand and then Pete was gone. No-one ever bothered him again.

But this biker, he was bigger than Pete, if that was possible. Covered in green and red ink he looked every part the biker that Pete didn't. As Colin glided into Asher's street and parked across the road, the front screen door to her house slammed shut, the Harley still parked in the driveway.

Colin had never seen Mr Hayden. From what he heard he spent a lot of time out of town on business- banking or something, leaving Asher to have the house to herself. Lots of people also speculated as to where Asher's mother was, but most agreed that she'd probably moved away when Asher was young. Not that anyone was game enough to ask the blonde. Despite the fact that she was nothing but nice to him, Colin was well aware that Asher was not someone to be reckoned with.

The front door of Ashers house slammed again and he jerked his head to the side where the biker was stepping out onto the front path, lighting a cigarette and tucking his lighter back into his black leather vest. From his spot, sunken down in the front seat of his Camaro, Colin could see his shaven head, and the dark eyes that surveyed the whole street, pausing when they landed on the red car. Colin sunk lower, only just being able to see the man over the edge of the door, but he could still see the glare coming his way from the biker on Ashers front lawn, sending a nervous chill down Colins spine.

A few minutes later the front door slammed again and he peeked over the door to see the biker had gone back inside. He sat up straighter, easing the kinks out of his back when there was shouting and Asher came flying out of the house, behind the biker. He slunk back down quickly, trying not to be spotted, as the muffled sounds of arguing could be heard. He didn't dare peek over the door, because he knew the biker had seen him. And the look he'd given him had scared the crap out of him.

He waited it out until there was the starting of a motorbike and it roared away before there was a silent lull. He gave it a few more minutes before sitting up and seeing the street was deserted, the lights in Ashers house glowing, and the front door shut. Like every other night, he pulled out his chemistry book and started to answer questions, only glancing over at the house occasionally to see the light in the bedroom hadn't turned on yet. Halfway through question twenty-two there was a loud rap on the window and he almost jumped out of his skin as he turned his head to see Asher Hayden looking in the window at him before she jogged around the car and pulled the passenger side door open.

"Hey Collie, I need a lift." She shut the door and pulled her seatbelt on before glancing over at him gaping at her. Asher Hayden was sitting in his car, looking at him expectantly. "Well? You got gas in this thing?"

"I uh…uh…." She smiled, huge and big, white straight teeth almost blinding him. "Where do you want to…to go?" He stuttered. Why was he stuttering?

"Ah, the cemetery please."

* * *

><p>Asher felt horrible for having to flirt shamelessly with the guy sitting next to her. Was he stuttering?<p>

"Please Collie." She forced another huge smile on her face, even though inside she felt like crying. Why the hell couldn't they find Sarah?

"Uh…uh yeah…sure." He reached over and looked at her, looking out at her underneath dark black hair that hung in his eyes.

"Awesome. Let's go." She watched the teenager start the car and put it in gear, making a mental note that she needed to get a car ASAP.

When they pulled up outside the cemetery, Asher glanced across the road to Jonesys. Sure enough, there was the red truck, standing out in the empty parking lot. Usually this was reserved for Sundays, when everyone she knew was at Church, Collie included. This was going to put a bit of a dent in the perfect life she'd carved out for herself with lies and coverups.

"Thanks Collie. I've got it from here. You should go home, it's late." The clock on the dash said it was eight o'clock. It wasn't that late.

"Okay…" Collie said quietly, even though he'd turned off the ignition and Asher knew he wasn't going in. Having a stalker could be a real inconvenience sometimes. Taking a deep breath she reasoned that Collie was hardly going to tell anyone.

"See ya'." Shutting the door she jogged across the road to the bar, noticing that the truck was unlocked, the keys still in the ignition. She pushed through the swinging doors as she saw Collies car drive off and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Room twelve, same code." Jonesy called out when he heard her enter and Asher didn't stop to do the pleasantries, instead going straight out the back to the courtyard that backed onto the street. Down on the street behind the courtyard she could see a dark blue van parked on the street, the familiar red Camaro on the other side of the road. Looked like Collie was getting better at this stalking thing, she mused to herself.

Walking over to room twelve she was thankful that the doorknob was lacking suspicious sticky substances. Placing a hand on the door, it swung open, without her even touching the knob. Stepping in she looked around the dark room and saw it was empty.

"Dad?" She called out with no answer. Walking over to the small bathroom she saw the door swinging wide open, and no one in sight. "Fuck." Turning around she left the room, heading back to the bar, stopping as she passed room ten. She swore she heard something. Furrowing her brow she tried to focus and see if she could hear it again. Knowing her luck, her father had fallen down a ditch or something on his drunken stumble back to the cemetery. "Dad?" She called out, looking around the dim courtyard. Realising she must have been hearing things she turned around to keep going when she heard someone open the door behind her and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end.

"You alright darlin'?" The man standing behind her was really familiar and Asher realised she'd seen him there before, and in the gas station the week before.

"I'm fine thanks." She replied going to turn around when the man spoke again.

"You sure sweetheart- you look worried." Every instinct in Ashers body told her to get the hell out of there so she kept going, looking over her shoulder at the man standing in the doorway. Shaking her head trying to rid herself of the prickles on the back of her neck, she looked up just to avoid running into another man. The white polo shirt and red shorts helped her register that Coach Ainsely was standing in front of her before everything went black.

* * *

><p>AN: thank you to those who reviewed! I hope it wasn't terrible- let me know x


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight – Let You Go <strong>

_Thicker than the walls they made  
>Longer than the roads they paved<br>Taller than the arms they raise  
>Deeper than the vows they waive<br>Isn't any price I'd pay  
>Only just to hear you say<br>You will never be alone  
>I will never let you go<br>__**- Johnny Strong**_

**Tacoma WA **

**15****th**** April 1998**

"Mayan doesn't know shit." Happy said, crossing his arms across his wifebeater clad chest outside the shed behind the clubhouse underneath the bright floodlights of the lot.

"You believe him?" Lorca asked, wiping blood off his hands and looking over at his brother, eyebrow cocked.

"Yeah, I do."

"What're you thinkin' Hap?" Lorca asked, picking up on Happys distant tone.

"You think it's club related?" He asked, leaning back against the wall and taking the cigarette Lorca offered him.

"What're you saying?" Lorca lit the cigarette and inhaled and exhaled before looking back at Happy. "You think some sick fuck picked her up?"

"I didn't say it Lorc."

"But you were thinkin' it." Lorca sighed, and Happy knew he was definitely contemplating the idea. They'd spent years keeping that kind of trash out of Tacoma, but Tacoma wasn't Charming, there were a hell of a lot more people in their town. "I don't know Hap." Happy opened his mouth to say something when Bowie came tearing through the back of the clubhouse, a teenager hot on his trail.

"Hap!" Bowie was puffing, leaning over to regain his breath.

"What?" Happy growled, tossing the cigarette on the ground and glancing over at the tag along with his brother. The dark haired kid looked vaguely familiar before he registered. "Collie?"

The teenager seemed to look even more nervous shifting from foot to foot and looking between Happy and Lorca.

"You know this kid?" Lorca asked, gesturing to him and Happy nodded.

"Yeah, he's Asher's stalker." Happy didn't miss the look the VP threw in his direction. "What'you want kid?" The kid looked too nervous to speak so Bowie spoke instead.

"It's Asher." The sensation of his heart leaping into his throat, caught him off guard briefly before he had Collie by the collar and thrown up against the wall.

"What did you do?"

"T-two guys grabbed her…at the cemetery." The teenager stuttered as Happy glared at him. There was no chance the kid was lying, he was practically shitting his pants.

"The cemetery?" Happy asked. He felt a large hand on his shoulder and he looked over at Lorca.

"Jonesys bar. Her old man hangs out there." Happy dropped the teenager and stalked back in the shed, grabbing his cut and his holster, ignoring the Mayan still strung up in there. They'd deal with him later.

"Find the others." Happy ordered Bowie as he exited the shed before he turned to Lorca who had the teenager by the back of the shirt. "You got this?" He asked gesturing to the shed.

"Yeah brother. We'll be right behind you." Happy looked down at the teenager and nodded slightly before turning on his heel and stalking towards his bike.

"Stay here Collie. We're not finished with you." Lorca said, as Happy walked away.

* * *

><p>BANG!<p>

Ashers head was throbbing. She hadn't been in this much pain in a long time. Probably not since she'd fallen off a skateboard a couple of years ago. Reaching up she touched her head gingerly, pulling it away to see the dark stain on her hand.

"Shit." She groaned, sitting up she leant heavily against the wall and looked around. She seemed to be in some sort of closet. It was dark but there was a dim light coming through the crack in the doors. Slowly scrambling from her spot on the floor she peeked through the crack, listening for any sounds.

"We've got to get them out of here." A muffled voice floated under the door and Asher shifted closer.

"You gave her to me as a gift remember Reg."

"The longer they're here, the higher the risk." The other voice pleaded and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat.

"They won't be here long. We'll get the supplies and then we'll get rid of all the evidence." Asher reached up and wiped the blood away from her eyes, realising the gash on her head must have been deeper than she thought. "Alright, it's nearly ten. Let's go." Slamming of the door alerted her to the fact that at least one of them had left. Pushing open the door of the closet she peeked out into the dark room. Even in the dark, the moonlight through the window allowed the furniture to be seen and she immediately recognised the tacky upholstery and plastic couch covers that Jonesy had in all his rooms. Crawling out she looked around the dark room her eyes falling onto a small body on the ground near the bathroom.

"Fuck." Crawling over quickly, Asher saw the familiar sneakers that glowed in the dark, writing all over them. "Sare." She whispered and saw the body move.

"Asher?" Sarahs tiny voice reached her and Asher moved faster, reaching the girl who scrambled up into her arms. Asher wrapped her arms tightly around the little girl.

"Baby, are you okay?" Sarah just gripped at Ashers shirt, sobbing quietly and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat. She was about to say something when she heard a motorbike revving outside. Someone had found them. She waited patiently for the engine to cut and when it did she yelled. "Help!"

"Asher!" There was a shout back and Asher let go of Sarah, scrambling up and to the door, turning the knob and pulled, but something on the other side was stopping her from pulling it open. Banging her fists on the door she shouted out again. "Asher!" The voice was outside the door and she heard a hand slap the door.

"Hap?"

"Get away from the door." He called out and she scrambled back over to Sarah, pulling the girl into her arms as the door was kicked open and Happy stepped through the door, absolutely livid, the courtyard lighting bright behind him. He reached out an arm to flick the lights on but stopped turning his head to look out behind him. "Keep quiet." He growled, shutting the door behind him and stepping into the room, stepping over behind the door. Asher had no idea what he was doing until she heard the door knob turn and Happy shifted in the corner.

The light flooded in again, basking over Asher and Sarah huddled in the corner.

"What the…" The man stepped forward and shut the door, just as Happy used the opportunity to step forward and hold a gun to the mans head.

"On the ground."

"What?" The man stuttered.

"On the ground _now." _

It was so dark Asher thought she shouldn't be able to see anything. She could feel Sarah shaking so hard in her arms it was like she was vibrating. In the dark though, her eyes had adjusted so that she could make out the familiar shape standing a few metres from her.

"Hap?" Asher tried not to let on how scared she was. She was not going to cry. The little girl in her arms needed her not to cry. She had to stay strong.

"You aight, baby girl?" Happy asked and Asher looked up with as much conviction as she could, even though she could feel the little girl shaking in her arms and blood was seeping into her eyes.

"I'm okay." She whispered, before her eyes fell on the man cowered at Happys feet. She wondered if he would really kill him, or just beat him within an inch of his life. After all, he had kidnapped a kid. She didn't want to think about what _could _have happened as she pulled Sarah closer.

Then she froze.

Pulling Sarah closer to her body, Asher had swept her hand up the girls thigh, her torn dress leaving her hand skimming bare skin. All the thoughts in Ashers head had stopped when she felt the sticky warm substance on her fingers.

_Oh fuck. _

Asher thought she was going to throw up as she looked down at her bloodstained hand before looking at Sarahs legs where she'd moved the dress. In the dark she could make out the shine of liquid on the tiny girls legs.

"Hap?" Asher said softly, not looking up until she was sure Happy had seen what she had seen then looked up at him. The look of shock on his face was easily masked, but she saw him swallow thickly as he took in the sight of the little girl huddled in her lap, bleeding and shaking. "I think-" Asher couldn't even say the words as Happy turned his head back to the man on the floor and she saw his thumb flick and just like that the safety was off and Happy was seconds away from putting a bullet into the man.

"You sick fuck." Happy hissed, kicking the man on the floor causing him to whimper. He didn't scream, didn't even shout. He was so scared that Asher could smell the urine emanating from his clothes. He should be scared she thought, he was going to die.

Asher adjusted her grip on Sarah who moved quickly, wrapping her arms around Ashers neck and burying her head in her neck.

"Sarie, baby, close your eyes." She ordered and Sarah buried her head deeper in Ashers shoulder, letting the older girl wrap her arm around her head, covering her ears and preventing her seeing anything. Then she looked up at Happy and nodded.

"See you in hell." Happy muttered before pulling the trigger three times. Asher jumped each time, her eyes snapping shut then she'd force herself to open them again to watch. Happy was killing to protect them and Asher decided that if he hadn't done it, she would have. Every maternal bone in her body was screaming that the guy deserved it.

* * *

><p>When Happy flicked the safety on again and put the gun back in the holster under his cut and his eyes fell on Asher before flickering down to the girl still huddling in her arms before catching Ashers eye again. It said all she needed to know.<p>

_He's gone_

_He's dead_

_You're safe _

Asher shook her head slowly and looked down at the little girl in her arms. He deserved to die. That man had officially ruined that little girls life. She would never be the same. She would never trust a man to touch her and not hurt her. She would always remember the last twenty-four hours. Just like them.

Happy didn't say anything, just strode over to them and leaned down.

"Sarah, come on kid." His large hands pried her from Ashers arms and he stood up straight again, holding the tiny girl to his side, letting her wrap her arms around his neck tightly and hold on for dear life. Well maybe she would trust one man Asher reasoned before his grip was on her upper arm and she was yanked to her feet and to his side. "I'm not going to let anything get you darlin'" He reassured the child as he wrapped an arm around Ashers shoulders.

She thought he was going to crush her he held her so tightly. But she didn't complain, she just wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, her fingers gripping his cut and walking with him as he practically dragged her from the room, only stopping when the courtyard of the motel was suddenly lit up, like a flash of lightening and they froze underneath the bright lights. Asher could feel Happys grip tighten on her even more.

"Fuck."

"Freeze!" Someone yelled and Asher squinted through the glare to see nearly twenty police officers making their way towards them. "Hands in the air."

* * *

><p>AN: Oh dear! Review Please x


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

To all those who reviewed you guys are awesome! I hope this does not disappoint! Sorry I didn't get around to PMing you all but I thought you would appreciate an update more than my drabble! Enjoy x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine – Hurt <strong>

_I hurt myself today  
>To see if I still feel<br>I focus on the pain  
>The only thing that's real<br>The needle tears a hole  
>The old familiar sting<br>Try to kill it all away  
>But I remember everything<em>

_What have I become  
>My sweetest friend<br>Everyone I know goes away  
>In the end<br>And you could have it all  
>My empire of dirt<br>I will let you down  
>I will make you hurt<br>__**-Johnny Cash **_

**Tacoma WA**

**15****th**** April 1998**

Happy didn't move. He didn't try to push Asher away or loosen his grip on the child in his other arm. Not a chance in Hell. "I said hands in the air!" The voice yelled again and Asher knew she had to do something before Happy got shot.

"Let me go." She said softly and Happy let her go slowly, his eyes never leaving the cops surrounding them and Asher reached into his cut, grabbing the guns from the holster inside and holding them up in surrender before checking the safety and sliding them across the bricked ground and holding her hands up.

The cops swooped then, one stepping forward to pick up Happys pieces before the first one to reach them grabbed Asher, pulling her away. She didn't get a chance to see what they did to Happy, but she heard Sarah start screaming out his name as they dragged her away from him. Asher remained quiet as she was shoved towards an ambulance, and she could finally get a glimpse at the scene around her. Happy was down on his knees in front of the room, his hands getting cuffed behind his back as he glared at the police officer standing over him. She couldn't do anything to help, and not for the first time that day she felt completely hopeless.

The paramedic didn't say anything as she patted antiseptic to Ashers head, the cut stinging, but soon enough a bandage was placed over it and an officer came over and escorted her towards a patrol car. She wanted to yell and scream or something, but her body refused to process what was happening. Even as the officer had asked the paramedic if she was alright, she'd lacked the capacity to tell them she was fine, despite the throbbing in her head. Helpless to defend herself, she was shoved into a patrol car and the door was slammed behind her.

The feeling only got worse as they shoved Happy and got him to his feet, pushing him towards a patrol car. That's when she heard more yelling and saw the Sons stride into the middle of the scene, Blue at the front yelling as his brother was dragged away. Grabbing the door handle Asher tried to push the door open before realising it was on safety lock. She was trapped. She had no option but to watch as an officer walked over to Blue and put a hand on his shoulder and direct him towards the ambulance to the left of the scene. Asher had always been intrigued by the looks that Blue conveyed his words with. This time was no exception. He swivelled his head to look at his VP and jerked it to the side before nodding and striding off towards the ambulance. Lorca turned to his brothers, pointing away and saying something before two figures in the shadows went to move but Asher saw Bowie grab an arm and shout something. Following the swivel of their heads she saw the paramedics wheel a gurney out, the black body bag lying across it.

Seeing the body bag only made her angrier that Happy was being forced into a patrol car, by the only two people who weren't watching the gurney head towards the ambulance.

"Happy!" She screamed, banging on the glass and shaking the door handle. "Let me out!" Lacing her fingers through the mesh on the cage that separated her from the front seats she shook it desperately trying to get out. "Happy!" The patrol car in front of her pulled out of the carpark and drove back towards town, Asher watching through the back window as the lights disappeared in the dark. "Fuck!" She threw a frustrated punch at the cage just as an officer opened the drivers side door and looked in at her.

"Calm down Miss."

"Let me the fuck out." She glowered and the officer stood up, yelling something to another officer as Asher saw Kozik walking past the patrol car.

"Koz!" She yelled, pounding on the window and saw the blonde turn his head towards her. "Koz!" The huge biker started making his way towards her, fury evident on his face as he glared at the man still at the drivers side door. But all Ashers hopes fell when she saw Lorca step in and intercept Kozik, pushing him back to the rest of the Sons, chancing a glance over at Asher in the car before following as the Sherriff stuck his head through the drivers side door.

"Asher Hayden, how did I not see this coming?"

"In the genes Bill." She growled when she heard the familiar voice and forced herself to sit down and cross her arms across her chest in the back seat of the car. There was no point fighting now. She was well and truly fucked.

"Get her back to the station. Be careful, if she's anything like her mother she's a fighter." The Sherriff said and Asher tried to calm down as they started the car and drove her to the police station.

* * *

><p>She wasn't handcuffed, but she might as well have been as she was shoved through the Tacoma Police Station, the officer who'd escorted her from the bar, gripping her arm and steering her down the narrow hall. By chance she turned her head as someone walked into one of the interview rooms and saw Happy sitting at the table, his hands on the table, cuffed and his cut missing. She wanted to do something, but she knew it was useless as she was dragged forward and into the next interview room.<p>

"The Sherriff will be here to ask you some questions in a minute." The officer said before leaving, closing the door behind him and leaving Asher alone. But she wasn't alone for long before the Sherriff and a female officer walked in and sat down across from her.

"Can we get you a drink or something Asher?" The woman with slicked back black hair asked her, her brown eyes watching Ashers every move.

"I'd rather not prolong this." Asher sighed, looking pointedly at the Sherriff.

"Would you like a lawyer?"

"Am I under arrest?" She asked, looking between the two of them her cheek aching when she forced a smile. The bruise clearly hadn't come up yet.

"No." The female said. "You're here to make a statement."

"Then no."

"Would you like a parent?" The female asked and Asher scoffed and looked at the Sherriff.

"I'm eighteen."

"Okay." Shaking her head slightly Asher couldn't help but give the Sherriff a disappointed look. He was a disappointment. He should have known she was eighteen. He shouldn't be here.

"I'd like to make a request though." She said, turning her attention back to the female who nodded.

"Yes?"

"I don't want him to be in here." Lifting her hand Asher pointed at the Sherriff.

"Asher, the Sherriff needs to be here." The woman said and Asher could see the fury on the Sherriffs face at Ashers request.

"My Uncle does not." She sneered and the woman glanced at the Sherriff. "He didn't show you my records did he? Sherriff Bill Hayden, my fathers brother has arrested me, what is it? Four times now Uncle Bill?" The Sherriff glowered. "So I would prefer him not being here." She growled the last part and saw the female raise her eyebrows before looking at the Sherriff and giving him a look.

A get the fuck out of here before you jeopardise the entire thing kind of look.

With a slap on the table, the Sherriff stood up and stormed out of the interview room.

"Okay, well we'll just get around to the statement then." The woman said, shuffling the papers that the Sherriff had left behind before pulling out a pen and pad. "Lets start from the start."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**16****th**** April 1998**

Asher sucked in deep breaths when she finally got out of the stuffy station, thankful to be out in the cool night air. Going over what had happened had made everything seem so much more real.

"Well this is appropriate." Asher looked down the paved stairs to see Kozik standing at the foot of them, Lorca, Bowie and Spanner all waiting behind him. "Picking up the jailbait from jail."

"Not the first time." Lorca laughed but Asher could tell it was forced. "How's your Uncle baby girl?"

"Douchebag." Asher replied quietly walking down the stairs and standing in front of them. "You waiting for Happy?"

"No," Koz said, "Waitin' on you. Haps been…waylaid." Asher looked over at Lorca in question.

"What?"

"He's in the cage Ash, lookin' at homicide." All momentum in her heart stopped.

"You alright sugar?" Blue eyes were fuzzy in front of Asher as her vision fuzzed slightly.

"Yeah." She rasped, trying to regain her footing. "Where's Sarah?"

"Hospital." Someone answered.

"Why's her shirt ripped?" Bowie asked Lorca quietly but Asher heard it. Suddenly she remembered Coach Ainsley, standing in front of her in the bar courtyard. The voice in the room suddenly sounding so familiar. Someone grabbed her arms, but her whole body was humming with shock to really register.

"Asher." His voice sounded like it as coming down a tunnel. "Who ripped your shirt? The man at the bar?" Kozik sounded like he was talking to someone that didn't speak English or was deaf.

"My lacrosse coach." Asher muttered. Her Lacrosse coach had tried to rape her. "A gift." Words were coming to her as she started to feel drowsy.

"Get her home, she's going into shock." Lorcas voice boomed over the crowd and that was the last thing she heard, everything went black, Happys name on her lips.

* * *

><p><strong>16<strong>**th**** April 1998**

"Stop lookin' at her like that you fuckin' creeper."

"Me? At least I'm not like fifty asshole."

"I'm not fifty."

"Close enough." Asher could hear the voices through the darkness.

"Close enough? I'm twenty-eight shit head."

"Whatever man." She recognised Spanners voice, the other voice was familiar, but she couldn't determine which Son it was. Slowly she opened her eyes only to jump in fright at the sight of the blue eyes hovering over her.

"Mornin' sunshine." Kozik, the other voice had been Kozik.

"Hmm." Asher tried to sit up but her head was fuzzy. "Where am I?"

"Clubhouse baby girl. Fainted on us at the Cop shop." Kozik said, stepping back and Asher felt a warm hand close around hers.

"You alright?" Turning her head she saw Spanner looking at her with so much worry she had to smile.

"How's Sarah?"

"She's home with her parents." She saw Spanner glance at Kozik who now had his large arms crossed across his cut.

"What?" Asher asked, seeing the look and sitting up and looking up at them from her spot on the couch. "What is it?"

"Haps been sent to County." She was on her feet in seconds.

"He didn't get bail?"

"Lawyers…" Spanner trailed off as Kozik walked away and left the Prospect standing in front of Asher, "I shouldn't be telling you this." He enforced and Asher shook her head in disbelief.

"He got arrested saving my life, Pete, I deserve to know."

"Lawyers are pleading aggravated assault, bail was set too high for us. We could only get fifty percent of the cash. Sorry baby girl." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew she was overreacting, Happy had been in jail before, if anyone could survive jail it was him. But while he was fine on the inside, what the hell was she expected to do on the outside? "And…" Spanner ran a hand through is hair in frustration, "Ainsley's taken off- piss in the wind." Whatever was left of her walls, came crashing down as Asher began to cry, sobbing uncontrollably as Spanner pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "We'll find him baby girl."

Promises didn't mean shit to Asher at that point. There was only one person that had proven they could protect her and he was in County, awaiting trial for murder.

"I need to see Sarah."

"I'll take you." Spanner said and Asher wiped her eyes quickly and nodded, giving Spanner a reassuring look.

"I'm fine."

"Come on." He didn't try to comfort her anymore, just walked out to the tow truck and she climbed in, waiting for him to follow suit. He threw her a wary glance before starting it up and pulling out of the lot. When they pulled up at her house Asher thanked Spanner before jumping from the cab, slamming the door on his offer of support.

* * *

><p>AN: Is it too intense? Let me know what you think! x


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence. _

_"The lyrics for the track 'In Repair' focus upon how people tend to treat each other as machines in our day-to-day life. We really need to take stock and focus our energy towards those in our lives that matter. Sometimes it seems as if we need an oil change," – Our Lady Peace_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten – In Repair<strong>

_Take this time to figure it out  
>Know the wires, the fuse, the things that you doubt<br>The wheels, the air, the metal, the mouth  
>Something, something, something<br>I have been good  
>I understood<br>Like a machine they'll fix you from the start  
>I'm in repair<br>The life that we share  
>I know that I'll be lost in<br>But we're always in repair  
><em>_**-Our Lady Peace **__  
><em>

**16****th**** April 1998**

She walked slowly up the Stevensons drive, driven on by the vision of what had occurred the night before. Pushing open the door she looked around the foyer and saw there was no one hanging around so she went down the hall to the kitchen. Blue's eyes landed on her first as he leant tiredly on the counter. She could see Lizzie through the back window hanging out the washing.

"How you doing Ash?" Blue asked, cocking his head slightly.

"How much money do you need?" She asked, ignoring his question.

"For what?" His greying eyebrows furrowed.

"To bail Happy out." Blue shook his head tiredly.

"We can't help him baby girl. I know you want to help him…" He started but the look on Asher's face stopped him, making him sigh loudly. "Haps a big boy, he's been inside before."

"If I get the money, will you post bail?" She asked, ignoring his words.

"You don't have the money, Ash. And even if you did, we wouldn't take it." Straightening up, Blue walked around the bench to stand in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "If I thought we could get him out, I would."

"You haven't even tried." Asher said quietly and Blue ran a hand over her lank hair.

"Asher, I wouldn't let a brother go down without fighting, especially one like Hap. _But _we got it pleaded down so he'll just have to sit it out." Asher pulled back, running a hand through her hair.

"Hey." Both of them turned to see Riley standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Hey." Asher said quietly. It was the first time they'd been in the same room as each other since they'd broken up, and they were meant to be going to prom tonight. Asher didn't miss the fact that Blue used this as an opportunity to get out of the kitchen and take off into the backyard.

"How're you going?" Riley asked quietly and Asher shrugged.

"I came to see Sarah."

"She's in her room." Asher nodded and walked towards him, stepping past him and heading down the hall. "She won't talk to anyone Asher. It's a waste of time." He called after her but she ignored him. She knew how Sarah felt, she didn't want to talk to anyone either.

"Sare." Stepping through the bedroom door she looked over at the bed where the little girl was colouring in a book. Sarah looked up at her with pale blue eyes and Asher felt her heart constrict. "Hey baby, how're you going?" Shutting the door behind her, Asher walked over and sat on the bed in front of the eight year old. Sarah didn't say anything, but her mouth pulled to the side, a move Asher was familiar with. It was a lifes-fucked-up kind of move. "What're you colouring?" Sarah looked back down at her colouring book and Asher glanced down as well at the black and white drawings of fairies in the book.

"Where's Uncle Happy?" Sarah asked quietly, not looking up from her book. "Mama said he's gone on holiday." Asher sighed, sitting up beside Sarah and stretching her legs out on the bed, obvious to the fact that she was in serious need of a shower. She wondered if this was how Sarah was going to spend the rest of her life, being told lies by her family. Making a silent promise to herself Asher decided that she wasn't going to be one of those people. The whole situation was going to make Sarah grow up too fast but there was nothing right with treating her like a child.

"Hap's been arrested Sarie." The little girls huge blue eyes looked up at her. "He's going to jail."

"Why?"

"He killed someone baby." Asher reminded her and Sarah glanced back down at her book.

"But he was a bad man." Asher nodded. Yeah, Happy had killed a bad man, but because he was a Son he was seen as the criminal in the whole situation. As far as she was concerned, Happy was their hero.

"I know."

"Can we help him?" Asher sighed at the childs question.

"I don't know Sarie."

* * *

><p>Kozik walked into the clubhouse and looked around for Blue. The phonecall he had just received was still playing on a loop in his mind as he saw the teenager sprawled on the couch where Asher had been lying less than an hour ago.<p>

"Who are you?" He said, hitting the teenagers leg and he jumped.

"Ah…um…" His dark eyes shifted nervously underneath his dark hair and Kozik watched with amusement. "Spit it out kid."

"Leave him alone Koz." Spanner said, stalking past and Koz spun around to look at the Prospect.

"You seen Blue?" He shouted after the Prospect who headed to the bar.

"Nup." Spanner replied, pouring a drink as Bowie and Lorca walked through the door and took a seat at the bar.

"Who's the hang-around?" Koz asked, watching his brothers drink as he stood in front of the teenager.

"That's Collie." Lorca said and Bowie smirked, turning around to look at Kozik.

"He's Asher's stalker. Saved her life."

"And he's helping me out." Donut came in from the back, nodding to the teenager who jumped up to attention. "Got a problem Koz?" Donut asked and Koz shook his head before speaking.

"Ward Tanner is in County." All heads turned around to face him, even Spanner paused.

"What do you mean Ward Tanner is in County?" Lorca said, glaring at his Brother.

"Amy called." The sweet little blonde that worked in the reception of the Sherriffs office had been more than willing to answer his questions last night. And this morning, she'd been quick to call him when she'd heard the news. "He's waiting trial for murder."

"How had we not heard about this?" Lorca bellowed as he stood up, the bar stool falling to the ground.

"Brother, I don't know." Koz shrugged. "Guess it went under the radar."

"How the fuck does Ward Tanner kill someone and we not know about it?" Bowie practically yelled. "Jesus." Lorca pointed a finger at Spanner.

"Call the Deputy, find out how this bit of information got missed. And for fucks sake someone find the Prez." Lorca bellowed and Spanner scrambled towards the back.

"What's going on?" Blue pushed the door of the clubhouse open just as everyone started moving, causing them all to stop. Lorca being the only one to speak.

"Ward Tanners in County." Blue looked from Lorca to Bowie, to Koz.

"Get everyone, Chapel now!"

* * *

><p>After Asher had left Sarah asleep in her bed, she went home and straight to her fathers room. The bed was unmade and there were clothes on the floor but Asher didn't even notice them as she stepped across the room and pulled open the blinds to bathe the room in light. Turning around she faced the walk in wardrobe across from the bed. Taking a deep breath she walked over and pulled the doors open, searching through the shoes on the floor until she found the box at the back of the closet.<p>

Pulling the box out, she lifted the lid and sighed softly. There in front of her was everything she'd inherited from her mother, but her father hadn't given it to her like he was meant to. Inside were family heirlooms Molly had gotten from Maddie as well as a few pieces she'd collected before she died. Not giving herself too long to get attached to the jewellery Asher put the lid back on and stood up, heading out of her fathers bedroom and down the hall to her own. After shucking off her dirty clothes she showered and changed into a pair of faded and ripped jeans, flip flops and a black tank top. She towel dried her hair and left it to dry as she picked up the box and her handbag and left the house, not even bothering to lock the door.

The walk down to the pawn shop was a long one, but it gave Asher time to think of the pro's and cons of her plan. In the end she knew she was doing the right thing. There was no way that she was going to be okay with staying in Tacoma, knowing that Ainsely was somewhere out there while Happy was in jail.

"Can I help you missy?" The balding man said as she walked into the pawn shop and dropped the box down on the counter.

"Sure. You pay cash?"

* * *

><p>An hour and a lot of arguing later, Asher walked out of the pawn shop with a large wad of cash in her handbag and her mothers locket slung around her neck. She had nearly given up the locket with everything else until she'd seen the photo of herself as a baby and her mothers initials engraved on the back. There were only so many things she could give away Asher decided.<p>

She knew she could have gotten more for the jewellery, but it was short notice and she wasn't willing to wait.

"I want Clay Morrow on the phone _now_!" Was the first thing she heard when she walked into the clubhouse half an hour later and Blue was walking out of the Chapel. When his eyes landed on her, he walked over to her, a solemn look on his face. "I'm sorry to ask this of you Ash…" He started, but stopped when Asher held the bundled notes out to him.

"I know it's not enough, but it will help right?" She asked and Blue nodded.

"Yeah girl. I'll pay you back."

"I owe him." Asher smiled softly and Blue leant over and placed his hand on her shoulder, lowering himself to her height.

"You just saved his life baby girl." Blue sighed and Ashers brow furrowed.

"What?"

"Ward Tanners in County." Asher felt her eyes widen and her stomach drop at the words.

"You sure?"

"Deputy confirmed it. This is going to help, baby girl." He pressed a kiss to Ashers head and turned as Lorca walked out, the cordless phone in his hand.

"Clay." Lorca called out and Blue nodded.

"Go home." He said quietly to Asher and she nodded. "I'll deal with this."

"Blue!" She called out just as he turned away and the Tacoma president turned to face her. "You won't tell him will you? Happy?" Blue seemed to look confused for a minute before understanding and nodding.

"Yeah." She smiled gratefully before turning and leaving the clubhouse, hoping that Blue could put the money to good use before the sun went down.

* * *

><p>Often in the backwards diner a few blocks from the Clubhouse late at night after a few to many drinks on her part and a little too much flirting on their part Asher had learnt the stories surrounding the members initiations into the club. Bowie, was known as Ziggy Barnes which was the curse of having a German background, before he'd been 'picked-up' by Uncle Tom and Blue at a bike show down in Arizona nearly twenty years ago. He'd been just twenty, but had been by himself for years beforehand so Uncle Tom had invited him to Tacoma, and there he'd stayed. His nickname became Bowie when he pulled a knife on someone who had called him Ziggy Stardust and that rest as they say, was history.<p>

Lorca and Spanners stories were a little less exciting, both having grown up on the streets of Tacoma. Lorca had always loved bikes, and one day Blue, who was a lot younger back then, had brought him around the club to have a look at the vintage Harleys. And like Bowie, Lorca had never left, his rough upbringing with an alcoholic father, a lot worse than her own and a drug addled mother had served him in more ways than one- naming him as the club enforcer and the original Unholy One. But the years had softened Lorca and finding Spanner at the age of eighteen in an alley with a dead body, heavy spanner in hand, had been the Prospects introduction. The body had belonged to the man that had been involved in the hit and run that had killed Spanners little sister, five years before. Lorca had seen promise and that was that.

Before Spanner though, in a lot different situation, Lorca had found Happy.

Happy wasn't one to chat about his beginning in the club but the legend that surrounded Happys introduction went something like this:

He'd been in a bar in Tacoma when a brawl had broken out. Happy who'd been working as a bouncer at that point in time, had broken up the fight, only to be lunged at with a knife. He'd managed to get the knife from his attackers hand and had stabbed his attacker in the stomach. Someone had jumped on him from behind and he'd spun around in defence and driven the knife into his other attackers stomach several times before the person had gone limp. The man Happy had killed was Jacob Tanner, the first man- the one that Happy had stabbed in the stomach, was Ward Tanner. When Happy had been trialled and charged with manslaughter, Ward Tanner had been trialled right behind him for assault with a deadly weapon. Both of them had been jailed together and three months into his sentence, Ward Tanner had chivvied Happy in the back and Happy had stabbed him in the stomach yet again. Lorca had helped Happy to the infirmary and after that, had had the younger mans back since.

But if Happy was in County with no protection and Ward Tanner was in there with him, chances were, someone wasn't coming out alive.

* * *

><p>Asher got home a not long after Blue had told her to leave. Walking into the kitchen she leant against the bench and looked around the small room. The beers that had been untouched when she'd left yesterday after were empty and sitting next to the sink. She could hardly believe that less than twenty-four hours ago she'd been standing in that same spot arguing with Happy. A chuckle escaped at the thought that she had been arguing with Happy and come out alive. He'd been livid, it was so much different to the look he'd given her in the tiny room behind the bar.<p>

Less than twelve hours ago.

When he'd saved her life.

And now he was in jail, Sarah had been raped and she could already see the cracks appearing. Blues shame when he had to ask her for money and call Charming. Twenty four hours ago Sarah would have had no idea what rape was and now she would live with it for the rest of her life. She couldn't help the sob that scraped at her throat and she turned around to lean back on the bench before sliding to the floor, the tears streaming down her face.

They would all live with it for the rest of their lives.

She woke up a few hours later in her bed, clothes still on, but she was under the blankets and she went back to sleep wondering how she'd managed the stairs and couldn't even remember.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you to all those you reviewed the last chapter but like I said before even though I'm getting incredibly slack with replying to them- I'm sure you appreciate an update even more =D

x


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It all started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven – Seven Devils <strong>

_Holy water cannot help you now  
>A thousand armies couldn't keep me out<br>I don't want your money  
>I don't want your crowd<br>See I have to burn  
>Your kingdom down<em>

_Holy water cannot help you now_  
><em>See I've had to burn your kingdom down<em>  
><em>And no rivers and no lakes, can put the fire out<em>  
><em>I'm gonna raise the stakes; I'm gonna smoke you out<em>  
>-<em><strong>Florence and the Machine<strong>_

**Tacoma WA **

**10th June 1998**

"Hey."

Lizzie Stevenson snapped her head up from staring blankly at the shelf in front of her to see the slim brunette standing beside her, her brown eyes searching Liz's for some sign that she was about to break down.

"I'm fine."

"Liz." Bella's voice was almost a sigh and Liz hated it. It had been like that for the last month and a half, ever since her daughter had been attacked in their own town. Not attacked- raped. "We can do this later."

"My son is graduating tomorrow, we will do this now." Liz bit out, grabbing a bottle of sauce from the shelf. She refused to let the last few weeks rob them of any more important moments anymore. It had been hell. Riley and Blue had been fighting non-stop and Sarah hadn't said a word to anyone since the incident. The only time she'd seen her daughter smile was when Blue had brought Happy into the clubhouse at the end of his first day in County. Blue hadn't told her how he'd gotten the money together so fast, and she hadn't asked. As far as she was concerned- Happy was out and that was a good thing. But his trial was in two days and the tenseness in the club had returned. And to Asher who had been incredibly quiet.

The only times Liz saw the girl she thought of as another daughter was when she was driving her to the police station to help the lawyers. The lawyers that had convinced Asher that her testifying at Happys trial was the right thing. Liz had thought it was strange that Asher had agreed to it. She was pretty sure Sherriff Hayden had made a threat about giving her a criminal record if she didn't testify. Asher could be a witness or strung up as an accomplice and she wouldn't be going to college.

Somehow Liz thought there was more to it though. Blue wasn't worried about her, even though she hadn't set foot in the clubhouse since Happy had been released. Nor had she gone to prom. Neither Asher or Riley had gone and Liz felt another pang of sadness at the thought. It was meant to be a night to remember instead all of them were recovering from the shock of the night before.

"Hey." Bellas voice came again and Liz looked down at Lorcas fiancé. "Where'd you go?"

"Sorry, just thinking." Bella gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her arm before striding off down the aisle, her heeled boots clicking on the linoleum floor. Liz watched her walk away and shook her head slightly. Bella was the Old Lady that Liz had never been. Bella was the Gemma Teller of Tacoma and proud of it. She'd been around the club for more than ten years and by Lorcas side through it all. He'd picked her up at a diner in California, waitressing and living off tips. That's what he told people anyway. He never told people outside the club that Bella had been the reason that he'd gone to jail for stabbing a man in the neck after he got too grabby with her in the diner. Bella was also the reason that Lorca had met Happy.

But Bella had made Lorca proud, taking on the role of mother and all round tough bitch at the clubhouse where Liz had avoided. She loved Blue and she loved the club, but her first priority was keeping her kids safe. Bella's was the club. She was the ultimate Old Lady- the Queen of SAMTAC.

"Liz?' Her thoughts were interrupted again and Liz turned her head slowly to see that Deputy Sherriff Shaun Mitchell stood in front of her, his hands deep in the pockets of his uniform. "How are you?" Liz heard the familiar clack of Bella coming up behind her and plastered a friendly smile on her face as she looked up at the young Deputy.

"Good thank you Deputy."

"It's Shaun to you." He chuckled, deep and throaty, like it came all the way from his heart. "How are you Bella?"

"Are you finished arresting innocent people yet?" Bella asked, hand on her jutted out hip.

"Trying to avoid it." Shaun replied a charming grin on his face and Bella rose an impeccable eyebrow.

"Try harder." Shaun let out a small chuckle at the Old Ladys words before turning back to Liz.

"I just got word that Ashers the chief witness for the trial." Shaun said quietly and Liz furrowed her brow.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"This whole thing has the Sherriff watching our every move, Liz. If we're seen talking to any of the Sons we're looking at suspension." Liz shook her head sadly. Bill Hayden had always been the thorn in their side.

"Whereas talking to us is just seeing how a victim is coping." Bella filled in and Liz had to give the woman points for her smarts.

"And I thought you ladies would be able to sort this out between yourselves." Shaun added, nodding at Bella meaningfully before turning his attention back to Liz. "Prosecution are basing their whole defence on Ashers testimony. She says her and Sarah were attacked and that Happy came in to help them and killed Reg Thomson and they were going to let them keep the plea at aggravated assault because Asher was their only witness." Liz nodded in understanding. "Thing is, the prosecutor, Bianca something, is a real go getter- and went out on a little door to door to try and find something else to nail Happy with."

"What're you getting at Shaun?" Bella huffed impatiently, tapping her foot for emphasis.

"Someone told them that Asher and Happy were sleeping together." Shaun spat out.

"What?" Liz was utterly shocked.

"From what I can gather- this person is affiliated with the club so they can be counted as reliable and although they refuse to testify, the prosecution _will_ use it."

"But they weren't." Bella cut in. "Were they?" Bella looked over at Liz and Liz tried not to give away anything. She'd seen Happy and Asher arguing the day that Sarah had gone missing. Happy had been at her house and she knew Asher had been in Happys room a few weeks before at the clubhouse. But surely she wasn't that stupid. "And besides- Asher's eighteen." Bella added to her statement and Shaun shrugged.

"All this broad has to do is ask Asher the question, imply that she may be underage. The judge can't make the jury forget what they heard no matter what. As far as they'll be concerned the fact that Happy was looking for Asher that night and the shocked look on your girls face when they ask her is going to paint Happy as just as guilty as Thomson."

"You've got to be kidding me." Bella sighed.

"Who was the person that told the prosecutor about Asher and Happy?" Liz asked, planning on telling Blue he had a traitor on his hands.

"I don't know. Wasn't any of the old girls or hang arounds. What about the Prospect?" Shaun asked, looking between the two women, but Liz shook her head.

"Pete would never betray Asher like that, no matter what."

"And he certainly wouldn't betray Happy and Lorca- they're his family." Bella added.

"I'd hate to say it, Liz, but I heard Asher and Riley broke up…" Shaun started but Bella cut him off.

"The new sweetbutt."

"What?" Liz and Shaun both turned to look at the SAMTAC queen.

"Mia- the new blonde. I know she's been fighting Lisa for Hap. Maybe she's as stupid as she looks." Shaun shrugged.

"Could be. Look, I better go. Say hi to Sarah for me." Shaun gave Liz a sympathetic smile before disappearing, his mission complete.

"What do you want to do about this?" Bella asked after he was gone and Liz looked at her in confusion- was the queen asking her advice? "I like Asher, she's a little bitch, but I like her. I don't want her to go down for something like this, no matter how stupid it is." Liz nodded. Sweetbutt issues were Bellas forte. Besides, if Bella had learnt anything from her old man, it was how to handle traitors.

"You sort out the sweetbutt. I've got Asher." Liz ordered and Bella nodded. "But we finish the shopping first."

* * *

><p>Mia James sat out the back of the clubhouse tanning her legs in the sunlight as she sucked on a cigarette, beer sitting on the table beside her. Chancing a glance at her watch she saw she still had half an hour before the boys finished work. She didn't want to go inside mainly because Lisa was still gloating about how she practically had Happy wrapped around her little finger. Stupid slut was so full of it. Happy certainly hadn't been fucking her last night.<p>

She smirked at the thought that she'd finally beaten Lana and that stupid little blonde tramp that she hadn't seen in a few weeks now. Ashley she was pretty sure her name was. Every time she sauntered into the clubhouse every Son had their eyes following her ass. It didn't help Mia's ego that she'd been sleeping with Happy, well it hadn't. Not until that nosy lawyer had come around saying that Asher could get in a lot of trouble for what she'd been doing with Happy. She'd promised Happy would be fine. He was going to plead out. He'd be fine. Ashley wouldn't be though the lawyer had said. Ashley wouldn't be going to college.

Yeah, that was good as far as Mia was concerned. She was sick of the little bitch and especially Koziks warning about staying away from her. And then the night when Happy had come back from a run and picked her over Lisa, finally. Only for Kozik to intercept. All it took was the little skanks name and Happy was gone.

After she was finished with Ashley, Kozik was next. No one was going to get between her and Happy. She was going to be _Happy._

"Got another one of those?" Turning her head she saw Bella standing behind her. When Mia was an Old Lady she was going to be just like Bella. For a woman in her early thirties, Bella possessed more pull in the club than Blues Old Lady. She was the one that looked out for all the girls. She had a killer attitude and a fantastic body that always looked good in anything she wore, even though she frequented jeans and stiletto boots, and was always polished beyond perfection.

"Sure." Mia held out the packet of cigarettes and Bella took one, putting it between red lips before Mia leant forward and lit it for her.

"How've you been Mia?" Bella asked, cocking her head to the side, her brown tresses falling all over the leather of her jacket.

"Good." Mia smiled. Life was oh so good.

"How're you settling in? The last few months have been hectic." A long drag between red lips filled the silence before Bella spoke again. "I hope you've been behaving yourself." Mia furrowed her brow. Had she heard about the bitch fight with Lisa? "Have you, Mia? Been keeping out of trouble?"

"Of course. I love it here. I love everything." Mia stuttered and Bella smiled causing Mia to let out a sigh of relief.

"What about the boys? You like the boys?"

"Of course." Mia smiled as well, she was bonding with the queen, finally.

"Any particular ones?"

"Um…" Mia bit her lip. Should she tell the queen about Happy? About how she had finally won?

"I see Haps taken a shine to you." Mia felt her heart swell. So the others had noticed. She could already see their wedding. "Lisas pissed, but you know, shit happens." And Bella would be her maid of honour, Mia mused to herself. "So you like him huh? It'll be hard when he's in jail." Bella cringed and Mia perked up.

"He's not going to jail." Mia said blissfully and Bella rose one of those impeccable eyebrows that they all wanted.

"Course he is honey, he killed someone." Mia wasn't really sure of the details- like why Happy had killed someone, but that lawyer had said he'd be fine.

"But he won't go to jail." Bella stepped forward, her eyebrow still raised as she seemed to assess Mia before nodding slowly as if suddenly understanding something.

"Whys that?" Mia went to say something but something stopped her. Should she tell Bella how she'd dropped that little blonde slut in it? Bella inhaled from her cigarette again and pulled it from her lips. "He's not innocent sweetie."

Then it felt like her whole hand was on fire.

Looking down in shock she saw that Bella was holding her lit cigarette to the top of her hand, where it had been resting on the table.

"What the fuck!" Mia screamed and tried to pull her hand away, but just as quickly, Bellas hand was wrapped around her wrist, holding it in place as Mia tried to jerk it away, the womans dark red nails biting into her skin. "Let me go!" Bellas hand released Mias hand and the cigarette fell to the ground as Mia scrambled to get away from the crazy bitch.

Just as she cleared the table she felt fingers wrap through her hair and pull her back onto the table where she was spun around to face it and smacked into the benchtop hard enough to make her scream and something crack.

"This isn't Charming sweetheart." Her hair was tugged again and she was slammed into the table again making Mia wail in pain. "You don't fuck with me, or any of the other Old Ladies." Her face was smashed into the table again. "And you do _not_ mess with Asher Hayden. No matter how much you like having that dick up ya." There was so much blood in her mouth that Mia thought she was going to choke. "And if you so much as open that mouth that's only good for one thing, to say a single word about what happened here, believe me sweetheart, you will have no teeth with that smile."

"Hey! What's going on here!" She felt Bellas grip on her hair release.

"Just a simple misunderstanding." Bella said sweetly, Mia jerked her whole body up straight and saw Bowie standing at the end of the table.

"Looks like you took to her with a table Bell."

"Never." Mia thought Bowie might have said something, he certainly didn't mind putting his cock in her mouth, surely he could have said something.

"Hope she was worth it." He said walking away, shaking his head and Mia wiped at her face.

"Oh she was." She heard Bella say under her breath before the womans blazing glare was on her once again. "Get yourself cleaned up whore, you look like shit." Then she stalked off leaving Mia to watch her go as she nursed her still burning hand.

* * *

><p>Walking into the clubhouse after a shower and a shave, Happy looked around the crowded bar. Most of the people were fully patched members and hang arounds with sweetbutts serving out drinks to his brothers as they lounged around.<p>

It was hardly the look of a club that had been rocked by the rape of the presidents daughter. But he knew deep down most of them were still thinking about it. He could see the weariness in Blues eyes whenever he called Church, could see the concern on the VP's face as he watched their president make his way from day to day knowing that his daughter would be scarred for life and he could never fix it. It was that look on Lorcas face that had spurred on Happys need to find the other sick fuck involved in Sarahs attack. Donut had been trying to track the man for weeks now with no avail. He'd taken on Collie as his protégé, the kid being incredibly good at working through a computer and following people it turned out. But it still didn't help, he couldn't find Ainsely and with his trial looming it made him uneasy.

Uneasy about leaving Asher out there alone.

"You want a drink?" The red head purred as she approached him.

"Yeah." He gave her a nod and she scampered away towards the bar as Happy saw someone shift to his left, putting out drinks before sauntering past him. He reached out and snagged the blondes arm as she went past, making her gasp and spin around to face him, her blue eyes widening in horror at his approach. "What the fuck happened to your face?"

"I uh…I…" The blonde stuttered, looking left to right nervously. Happy was about to order her to spit it out when his eyes caught the opening of the door at the front of the clubhouse, causing him to drop her arm. The fake blonde darted away quickly, but Happy didn't notice, he was watching the Stevensons enter the clubhouse, wondering if after nearly a month and a half she'd show her face.

But she didn't.

He hadn't seen her since he'd been bailed out by Blue. When he'd entered the clubhouse that night after only one day in County, Sarah had brought him a piece of paper with a colourful picture on the front of it, the words _Thank-you_ written in her childish writing. Big blue eyes had stared up at him as he'd looked down at the home-made card. Only someone as sweet and innocent as Sarah could put all her meaning into a home-made card and make him feel like every minute of jail was worth it. It almost softened his hardened heart as he tucked the card into his cut and left. _Almost. _

Then he'd gone around to Ashers, because he climbed on his bike and started to ride, needing to clear his head and enjoy freedom while he still had it and he'd ended up in front of her house. He looked over and saw the familiar red Camaro parked on the street and heard the ignition start when the driver saw him. Happy nodded his gratitude as the car left before he swung off his bike and walked up to the front door. Rubbing his chin he had contemplated turning around and going back to the clubhouse and finding that blonde that managed to distract him for awhile but decided against it. He didn't know why but he was glad he did.

Knocking first he'd heard nothing so he'd walked in. If she was downstairs he'd see her, if she wasn't he'd leave. And that's where he found her, lying on the kitchen floor, black streaks of makeup running down her cheeks as she lay curled up on the floor like a little kitten. Yeah a fucking kitten. He'd never felt the ache in his heart before as he stared down at her at his feet. Leaning over he'd scooped her up into his arms and carried her limp body up the stairs. It took a few wrong turns before he found her bedroom. It smelt like vanilla, something he'd realised was her scent in the last few months that he'd spent time close to her and the room was littered with clothes, an old acoustic guitar leaning against the wall beside the bed. The bed was unmade and he placed her down on it and looked down at her.

It felt like he was breaking some unknown rule as he pulled the sheets up. He wasn't meant to feel like someone was squeezing his heart as he stared down at her sleeping soundly, nor was he meant to sweep a blonde strand from her forehead as she lay there, making her sigh. Realising what he was doing he stepped back and left the room, jogging down the stairs and getting the hell out of there. Only stopping when a man had stepped through the front door.

And for the first time since he'd moved to Tacoma, Happy was standing in front of Frank Hayden.

"What're you doing here?" Frank asked. There was no slur, like he'd expected, there was no stench, like he'd expected of the alcoholic father, only a large imposing man and a shit load of ink. But Happy didn't scare easily and as far as he was concerned, Frank Hayden was a deadbeat Dad that could have prevented what Asher had been through. If he hadn't been too drunk to drive, if he hadn't been too drunk to keep her away from the Club, if he wasn't too drunk to bring his daughter up how she deserved none of it would have happened. "I said what're you doing here?" Frank asked again and Happy clenched his jaw ready to say something when he saw it and felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, and that hadn't happened in a fucking long time.

"Leaving." He finally said and pushed past Frank heading towards the front door before stopping and turning to face the older man. He wanted to say something that would make the man think, make him realise that he wasn't just killing himself, but decided against it. Happy wasn't a peace maker, he was an enforcer. And Frank Hayden would last another day, if only because his daughter was sleeping upstairs. So instead he just kept walking back to his bike, climbing on, as Frank filled the doorway and watched Happy leave.

Happy suddenly wished he had a drink in his hand already. His eyes still on the door he watched as Riley walked in, with the other kid, Thomas, Lizzie following behind with Blue, a small blonde girl walking between them. Before he turned away, he couldn't help chancing a look at the little girl in between her parents. Eight years old and already having seen too much of the horror in the world, he wasn't at all surprised at the disgruntled look on the childs face. That was the face of someone trapped.

When he turned away, Lisa had reappeared, drink in hand and smiled coyly up at him.

"There you go, Happy." She purred, batting her eyelashes for effect.

He replied with a nod and a silent dismissal and the red head took the hint heading towards the bar when Bella was chewing out the blonde. Curiosity struck him, making him walk over slowly watching as the blonde looked his way briefly and scampered away, Bella watching after her before she turned to face him. "What happened to her?"

"A park bench ran into her." Bella replied.

"Why?" He couldn't help it. Something wasn't right. Bella had handed out a few hidings to the sweetbutts over time, but none had looked as bad as that one.

"You gunna make that slut your old lady?" Bella asked, cocking her head to the side and Happy shook his head slightly. "Then what makes it your problem?"

He had to give Lorca that- he sure could pick 'em.

"Yo, Hap." The Prospect came to his side and Bella gave them both an almost curious look before disappearing.

"Yeah?" He jerked his head and Spanner whipped a piece of paper out of his cut.

"Donuts got fuck all, man. But…Collie did find this." Happy took the piece of paper from the Prospect and glanced up at Spanner before reading it.

"These are credit card charges."

"They're Ainsleys credit card charges. Turns out- he's spending up." Pete explained and Happy had to give it to Collie. Even if he was unhealthy obsessed with Asher he was fucking useful.

"These are all ATM charges." Happy muttered, scanning the list. There was a few motels, most of them in Seattle. "What's he need all this cash for?" He looked up at the Prospect who was watching him with interest.

"To disappear."

* * *

><p>AN: in case you didn't realise its jumped forward about a month and a half. I'm trying to write this story so you can understand how everyone in it sees things so you'll have to let me know if its alright. Had every intention to Pm all you reviewers but I got my ass kicked by a horse this morning and have hurt my shoulder and some fingers so typing atm is proving to be a challenge and just to add salt to the wound I put my phone through the wash...so reviews would help kill the pain because I haven't got any painkillers. Thank you for reading x


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

**Reviewers- you guys are awesome- thank you so much!**

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve – Happy <strong>

_Holding on tightly, just can't let go  
>Just trying to play my role, slowly disappear<br>But all these days, the feel like they're the same  
>Just different faces, different names<br>Get me out of here  
>But I can't stand by your side<br>And watch this life pass me by  
><em>_**-Leona Lewis**_

**Tacoma WA **

**10****th**** June 1998**

Asher stared at the front door of the clubhouse, glaring at the reaper glaring back at her. His dark hollow eyes seemed to bore straight through her and it kind of scared her. She'd never paid much attention to the actual reaper. It was strange considering most people associated with the club would have been able to tell you every single detail about the Reaper pasted on the door. But she'd never been one to give a shit about the Reaper.

Or the club.

The club was a thing- it wasn't real, it could be changed, it could be destroyed or it could be made bigger. It wasn't a human and it didn't have feelings and it certainly didn't fix everything. Because that was the point wasn't it? You could rely on the reaper for anything.

But what could she rely on the Reaper for?

If it wasn't for the Reaper, Happy would have been given a pat on the back for killing a paedophile and sent on his way. If it wasn't for the Reaper she wouldn't have had Kyle Hobart grabbing at her. It didn't mean that she would have had a better life without the Reaper, it just meant that she could blame the people, not the thing. The club meant that the moment you blamed a member, you blamed the entire club.

Because the club always came first.

No matter what.

Taking a deep breath, Asher stepped forward to take the Reaper on when the door flew open and a girl stalked out. Asher recognised her immediately as the sweetbutt that had been on her knees in front of Happy all those months ago. Her limp fake blonde hair was hanging around her face as the girl looked up and saw Asher standing there. A sneer crossed her face, but Asher saw her wince when the movement tugged on the bruising around her nose and eyes.

"What do you want?" The girl hissed and Asher watched her for a moment before replying.

"What happened to your face?"

"None of your fucking business." The girl stepped around Asher and stopped briefly. "_Whore._" And then she stalked off towards the carpark. Asher looked over her shoulder, watching the girl retreat and shrugged. She'd been called worse. Hell, a lot worse.

But it was enough to make her turn around and walk away from the clubhouse. She felt like a traitor going in there where the club was everything. Not when she was meant to be testifying to send one of them to jail in two days. Not when she was betraying Happy.

She was out of the lot in a few minutes and walking down the dark street. She was meant to be graduating tomorrow before a long summer in Tacoma, then heading to Seattle to college and to the beginning of the rest of her life.

But as she'd come to realise over the last eighteen years.

Nothing ever went as planned.

* * *

><p><strong>11<strong>**th**** June 1998**

Asher looked around the crowded quad, watching as people hugged each other. Promises of calls and letters being made and Asher couldn't help but wonder if they'd keep their promises. These people she'd spent the last twelve years with in Tacoma were all going to be split up, many of them going to College, some of them going to work for their families. It was so unbelievable that this was the end of everything. She had no reason besides her Dad to stay in Tacoma. But that could be dealt with. In three months she was meant to be heading to college in Seattle.

"Ash!" Someone shrieked and she spun around, the blue robe swirling around her bare legs as she came face to face with most of the cheerleaders she'd known.

"Hey." She said, forcing the smile on her face.

"Can you believe we're finally finished?" Courtney gushed and pulled Asher into a tight hug.

"No, not really." She replied as the cheerleader pushed her back with a huge grin on her face.

"Promise we'll catch up on breaks? Summer?" Courtney insisted and Asher nodded.

"Sure." Courtneys eyes went over Ashers shoulder and her grin got wider.

"I think someone wants to see you." Courtney said, pointing behind Asher and turned around to see Riley striding towards her. "I'll see you at the party tonight right?"

"Of Course." Asher replied before the cheerleaders scurried off and Asher was left with Riley.

"Can you believe we're finished?" Riley said, running a hand through his messy hair and Asher smiled.

"Not even." Asher replied, "When do you go to the Academy."

"In a week. Going to go and see my grandparents then head off." Riley replied as he played with the cap in his hand. Before he could say anything else, Asher stepped forward to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him.

"Good luck." She said into the fabric of his gown and felt his hands on her back.

"You too Ash." He sighed and Asher pulled away. "I'll miss you."

"Yeah you too."

"Are you two back together yet?" Asher looked down to see Thomas looking up at them.

"Fuck off shithead." Riley muttered and Asher grinned.

"Hey Kid."

"There you are!" Liz came over, dragging Sarah with her towards the two of them. "Ash, you look gorgeous." Liz said pulling her into a hug and Asher hugged her back.

"Hey Sarah." Asher said looking down at the little girl who hadn't changed much in the last few weeks. Sarah gave her a forced smile and Asher felt awful.

"Look at my babies, all grown up and graduating." Liz sighed as she placed a hand on Ashers cheek and looked over at her son. "Where's your father sweetheart?"

"Ah, he had to work." Asher replied, flashing back to the image of her father lying on the couch asleep, beer in hand.

"Sweetheart." Liz said sadly before a large arm wrapped around the older womans waist and Blue appeared.

"Asher." He said nodding to her and Asher smiled back, not missing the knowing look he gave her.

"Hi Blue." She replied sweetly and looked over at Riley. "Riley just told me the news about the army."

"Yeah, can you believe it – my kid's joining up, couldn't be prouder." Blue said, smacking his son on the shoulder.

"Could everyone make their way into the gym for the ceremony please!" Someone shouted over the crowd and Asher took a deep breath before looking back at the Stevensons.

"Well gotta do my civic duty as Prez." She shrugged and Blue leant over and kissed her cheek as did Liz.

"Good luck out there Baby girl." Blue said and Asher nodded before squeezing RIleys arm. It was time to go.

After organising a few things, Asher made her way over to sit between Lisa Hall and Danielle Jacobs in the third row of the gym, crossing her legs, the tiny gold chains on her black flat sandals jingling with the movement. The principal strode across the stage and cleared her throat as she waited for the people to stop pouring into the huge gymnasium. Once everyone was seated she started to talk, congratulating their class.

One by one they were called up and every time someones name was called out, their parents would compete to the clap the loudest. Asher couldn't help but feel a little sad that she wouldn't have anyone to clap for her, but she was used to it by now she decided. When her name was called she stood up and started up the stairs, smiling up at the principal she heard someone yell and a huge applause start up, a few whoops being heard over the top. Turning her head she saw the Stevensons standing up, next to them her grandmother and her Uncle Tony, clapping and calling out. She couldn't help but beam at her family before finally striding across to take her certificate from her principal, shaking her hand.

"Congratulations Asher." She said before Asher nodded and stepped off stage to join her classmates.

* * *

><p><strong>12<strong>**th**** June 1998 **

Three months ago Asher had been sitting on the wall in front of her when Happy had pulled up to pick her up. Three months ago she had started the friendship that had saved hers and Sarahs life. With the man that had saved her life. Turning her head she could picture him sitting on the bike on the curb, watching her through his night glasses.

It had turned midnight half an hour ago and she'd had her fill of the night. No longer was it the day that she graduated and started the rest of her life. Now it was the day that she sent Happy to jail. There was somewhere she needed to be, she realised turning her back on the house party and starting to jog down the street, waving down the first taxi she could see.

Happy had been wrong- she did give a shit about something.

* * *

><p>"There's someone here for you." Kozik said as the brunette behind the bar poured him a drink.<p>

"What?"

"I said, you got a guest. Down the hall." Kozik gestured down the hall which that lead to the stairs up to the dorms. The only rooms down there were the old gym and a room with a piano that Uncle Tom had had since before the war. Swallowing the drink in front of him, Happy glanced back at Kozik before placing the empty glass down and heading down the hall.

Happy found her in the back room sitting in front of the old piano that hadn't been touched in all the years that he'd been patched. He watched from the doorway as she pressed keys slowly, letting the notes drift up into the air and hang there before she hit another one.

"Uncle Tom sat in this same chair when I was eight and taught me to play Fleur de Lisle ." She said not looking up from the keys. "He was killed two weeks later." Happy didn't move from his spot as he watched her continue to press keys. "John Teller came to the funeral and stood right where you're standing right now and watched my failed attempt at playing before coming and sitting beside me and showing me where I was wrong." She stopped talking and he watched as her fingers skimmed the keys before she began playing, the music drifting through the room, occasionally an out of tune key marring the perfection of the song until she stopped, the silence penetrating the air again. She glanced over her shoulder at Happy and rose and eyebrow. "Do you know who I'm talking about?" He nodded. Uncle Tom and John Teller had been part of the First Nine – the founders of the club. She turned back to the piano, but didn't press any keys, instead staring at them for a few moments before speaking again. "This is what I give a shit about- these peoples memories – what they meant to me. They wanted me to go to college. I want to go to college, I want out of this place, out of this world and I can't do that with a criminal record. I'm not testifying because I hate you."

"I know." He said when she paused. "What're you doin' here Asher?" He asked, staring at her back. .

"Remembering." Her fingers started to press the keys again, the music filling the room and travelling down the hall to the bar no doubt. "All my best memories are in this room. I used to play with Sarah in here when she was just a baby because we were out of the way. " Sighing she turned around to face him. "I taught her to play Amazing Grace." Happy could already see where this was going before she said the words. "I was the reason she was getting piano lessons. The reason she got taken."

"Don't fuckin' start Asher." He growled and she bit her lip.

"Why?" Her voice was low as she looked up at him, wanting an answer.

"You know why."

"Because it's not my fault. Not my fault she wanted to learn the piano, or my fault that you came looking for me, or my fault that you'll go to jail tomorrow." Standing up Asher stepped over in front of him and looked up at him. "None of it's ever my fault." She hissed and went to step past him, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her, not for the first time.

"It's your fault that you left the house when I told you not too and found Sarah at the bar and it's your fault that you let that fucking kid stalk you then come and find me when you got jumped. Blaming yourself don't fix shit Asher." His grip loosened and Asher nodded slightly before sighing.

"So what've you got planned for your last night of freedom?"

"You don't wanna know baby girl." He replied low and husky and Asher smirked.

"Wanna do me a favour first?"

* * *

><p>"You want me to what?" Happy looked at her incredulously and Asher took a mental picture. Because it would be one of the only times she'd ever see Happy shocked and remembering Liz's words, she knew it was probably be the last time she got to see him at all.<p>

"Tattoo me. Am I speaking Yiddish?"

"I ain't tattooing shit." Happy pointed a finger at her as she shrugged, trying to act innocent.

"Come on." The look on his face was priceless. Asher bit her lip and looked up at him, with pleading eyes. "Please."

"Nah, fuck that." He went to turn away, but Asher grabbed his arm, sliding her fingers along the taught muscles of his forearm before lacing her fingers through his and tugging. For a man of his size and stature, he should have been able to pull away easily but he stopped, looking down at her, his eyes dark.

"This means something to me, Hap."

* * *

><p>Half an hour later she was stretched over the top of the old piano her legs propped up at the knees as she watched Happy unpack the bag beside the piano. Kozik was there too, sitting on the old piano stool with a drink in his hand. Asher could see the blonde watching her every move out of the corner of her eye but chose to ignore it. It was a good thing Kozik was there- otherwise Asher could see herself saying something she might regret.<p>

"Clothes off." Happy ordered as he held up the tracing paper with the design she'd helped him draw up. Asher chanced a glance at Kozik before taking a deep breath and sitting up. Her fingers went to the edge of her tank and she pulled it over her head.

"Nice." She shot a glare at Kozik who was smirking at her choice of lace black bra before she tossed her shirt in his direction and went to unbutton her jeans, pushing the waistband down to the top of her panties before a large hand wrapped around her wrist. Looking up at Happy glaring at her Asher rose her eyebrow in question and Happy gave his head a slight shake warning her to stop, like he had the night she patched him up.

Realising that maybe it wasn't the best idea to be testing the boundaries with Happy when Kozik was in the room Asher nodded and let go of the jeans, choosing to lie back down and wait for Happy to get to work. First he traced the design onto her skin before he started up the needle and snapped the gloves onto his hands. Asher could feel her whole body shaking with nerves but she was more excited than nervous.

"You sure?" He asked, not looking up at her and Asher had a sneaking suspicion it was because he had to look over her chest to her face. Not that Kozik would have noticed because he was blatantly staring at her breasts anyway.

"Yeah." Asher said quietly and took a deep breath as Happy held the needle to her skin. The first few minutes were filled with silence as Happy worked, needle in one hand and a wipe in the other, wiping away the excess ink. It didn't hurt, it was just like a hard scratching on her skin.

"Why daisies?" Kozik finally broke the silence and Asher didn't have to turn her head to see the blonde still sitting on the piano chair- she'd nearly forgotten he was there though as she got lost in watching the intense concentration on Happys face.

"They were my mothers favourite." Asher replied quietly, wishing she had a drink to stop the shaking.

"The mother that named you Asher?" Kozik replied, and Asher nodded.

"Believe it or not."

"Why?" Asher turned her head and looked over at him.

"Why what?"

"Why did your mother call you Asher?" Asher furrowed her brow as she looked at the huge man. "It's a guys name." He added and Asher understood.

"It's a family name. My grandfather was named Asher, so is my Uncle."

"Why you?" She felt like Kozik was being incredibly nosy but gave in anyway, figuring it gave her something else to concentrate on.

"They thought I was going to be a boy –its tradition and they'd already gotten everything named." Kozik smirked shaking his head.

"And they still named you?"

"My mother chose it because of what it means, not because of what it represents in our family." She recalled the story that her grandmother had told her as a child. The meaning of her name and how Molly had thought it was so appropriate.

"What's it mean?" Asher wanted to tell him he was being fucking nosy and she didn't appreciate it. But she also didn't appreciate having _whore _tattooed on her by an un-Happy biker either.

"It's an oxymoron."

"Oh." Was all Kozik said, and Asher rolled her eyes and turned her head up to stare back at the ceiling. Clearly he had no idea what an oxymoron was, but she was okay with that. It stopped the questions.

* * *

><p>Happy remained quiet as he worked on Ashers skin and Kozik continued to go on about how his mother had named him after his father as well. Asher hadn't admitted what her name meant, and he wasn't usually interested in that shit, but the way she'd avoided it had him wondering.<p>

But their talking had been drowned out as he sunk the needle into her perfect ivory skin. The black blended with the yellow and green and against the porcelain background it almost looked real. By the time it healed he would be in jail looking down a six to eight year sentence while she went out, went to college, met some guy and got married and had a life. But that was the point wasn't it? That's why after seeing Frank Hayden, he'd told Blue that Asher needed to testify. Let her tell the truth, let him go to jail. At least she would be out of this life away from him, away from Kozik and Riley and especially Spanner. Because he knew if she stayed she'd be forced into the world of Old Ladys and that fire that he had provoked in her so many times just to see her feel something, would go out and she would be just another woman in the club.

It would crush everything about her that was decent.

But now, as he stood over her, needle in hand, the machine whirring and her almost husky voice talking to Kozik, he didn't want to let her go. If she met someone else would they be able to understand what went on in that crazy head of hers? Would they be able to understand why she was so closed off or be willing to take the good with the bad? He felt a possessive wave coming over him and decided that he wouldn't let that happen. She had to come back.

"What's your name mean Hap?" His head snapped up as he began to freehand the design on her skin. Kozik was looking at him but before he could answer, Asher saved him and spoke instead.

"How thick are you?"

"Huh?" Koziks brow furrowed before Happy went back to work, trying to get the detail down before he forgot what he was doing this for.

"His name is Happy." Ashers tone was almost bored.

"He's not really the _happy _type." Kozik replied, and Happy ignored him. He knew his brother was daring him to give up what he was doing and put him through the wall, because the blonde could see everything he was doing on Ashers skin.

"It's not about _him._" Asher replied seriously. "It's about how he made his mother feel. It's a name that reflects everything he means to her." Happy couldn't help but let his lip twitch. The little blonde bitch was spot on. When he was really little, not that he'd admit it, but he'd been teased for having such a strange name. But his mother had sat him down one day after he'd had sand kicked in his face and put a hand on his cheek as he pouted.

"_You mean everything to me, baby, I named you so others could know how you make me feel. Because you make me so happy, my darling. You are my world." _

His mother, the only woman in the world that he let close enough had given him the courage to stand up for himself, and not only shove the bullys face in the sand the next day but to never let anyone stand over him again.

"How many people can be so brutally honest?" Ashers voice said before he forced himself to focus and block the two of them and the memories out.

A few hours later he was finished and he stood back to admire his work. Kozik was sleeping on the lid of the piano, and Asher was quietly lying there, having been silent for a good part of the last three hours.

"Done?" She asked quietly and he nodded. "Can I see?" She asked craning her head to see the ink but Happy reached over and pushed her head back down.

"No." He wanted her to be alone when she saw it. Where she could pore over it for as long as she needed and he didn't have to see the look on her face. "Later." Without a fight she lay back down and waited for him to smear cream on it and cover it with a bandage. Most women he'd done had begged to look at it, ignoring his orders, but Asher just lay back down and waited.

When he was done he stepped back and she sat up slowly, a small smile on her face as she eased her shirt over her head as he took off his gloves.

"Thank-you." She said quietly and he nodded. "I mean it Happy." He glanced up and saw her watching him with those dark lined blue eyes, her face serious. She didn't need to say anything else, he knew what she was trying to say.

"Aight, I'll take ya home. You ready?" She nodded without a word slid down from the piano and followed him out to the lot where they climbed on his bike, her taking his helmet and he rode to her house. The lights were off and the red truck was missing, so was the red Camaro. Asher slid off the bike and handed him the helmet he'd given her.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asked as he took the helmet. He didn't say anything, just waited for her to speak. "Are you scared? About going to jail I mean?" He shook his head, putting a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it as he sat astride his bike.

"Do I look like the type to get scared, baby girl?"

"Hmm." He flinched in the darkness and inhaled. Yeah he'd been scared and she'd seen it. He'd put three bullets in a mans head because he was scared of what would happen to Sarah and Asher if he didn't. Pulling the cigarette out of his mouth he exhaled and looked over at her standing in front of him. It was an image that he'd take to prison with him. Looking back at her standing beside him he formed the question in his mind.

"What's the contradiction?" He didn't know why he was asking but something told him he wanted to know. "You said your name was an oxymoron." She smiled slightly and bit her lip. He fucking loved it when she did that.

"Asher means bringer of happiness."

He didn't say anything, he couldn't. Something had stunned him into silence.

"See you later Happy." She said quietly and turned on her heel towards the door.

"See ya in a few hours." He said after her, quietly, but she still heard and looked over her shoulder at him.

"Yeah, in the morning." Without allowing himself to get caught up and say anything else he started the bike again and rode off into the night.

* * *

><p>Asher watched him go, before heading up the footpath. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the glow of a cigarette and turned her head to see Blue Stevenson leaning against the wall of his house, near the fence, watching her.<p>

"You get it done?" He asked and Asher nodded as the sound of Happys bike drifted away.

"Yeah."

"Good." Blue dropped his cigarette butt on the ground and stubbed it out with his boot. "You did the right thing, baby girl." And then he turned his back on her and started towards the front door of their house, the reaper on the back of his cut glowing in the dark, its hollow eyes watching her as it left.

"Goodbye."

* * *

><p>AN: Dah dah dum...


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen – Goodbye Mickey Finn<strong>

_Build the wall, build the wall of loneliness  
>With the brick of hope and trust<br>your aching hands will curl up  
>Then you'll realised what you've done<br>It's not what you do that says who you are  
>The way you do it is who you are<br>As long as the clock keeps ticking  
>You'll go<br>Wherever the wind blows  
>As long as there's life worth living<br>You'll go  
>Wherever you go<br>-__** Something with Numbers **__  
><em>

**Tacoma WA**

**12****th**** June 1998 **

Leaning over the sill of the bathroom window, Asher inhaled from her cigarette as she watched the bike pull into her driveway. Her fathers truck wasn't parked in front of the house and Asher knew that when the call came after daylight to go and get him it would go unanswered. This was the last time she would sit in this spot and smoke, enjoying the quiet just before dawn.

Stubbing out her cigarette on the sill and flicking the butt out into the dark night as Spanner made his way towards the front door, Asher went back to her room and swung the duffle bag over her shoulder, taking one last look at her bedroom. She wouldn't be back for a long time.

"You alright?" Turning her head she saw Spanner standing in the doorway, his hands deep in his jean pockets and she nodded.

"Yeah." He shifted slightly and gave her a small smile.

"Things are going to be dull without you Baby girl." Ashers lip twitched and she stepped over to place a kiss on Spanners cheek, pulling away slowly and pulling his head down to press their foreheads together.

"Thank-you."

"You know I'd do anything for you." Asher closed her eyes and nodded.

"I know."

"What do I tell Happy when he finds out?" Spanner asked and Asher abruptly pulled away, sighing and tugging at her ponytail.

"Don't tell him anything." Spanner didn't question her just nodded and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and lead her towards the door where the sun was just starting to rise over the horizon. Without a word, Spanner climbed onto his bike and Asher paused to look back at the two houses in front of her. Her whole life had been spent in this tiny street in Tacoma and now she was finally leaving. And for the first time since she could remember, she didn't want to leave. Taking a deep breath she turned her back on the houses and the memories and climbed onto the bike wincing at the slight sting in her side, gripping tightly to Spanner as they pulled out onto the street and off into the dawn.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**12****th**** June 1998 **

Blue Stevenson was a lot of things: Father, husband, son, brother but above all he was a President. His family meant the world to him, and even if they weren't blood he would have no hesitation taking a bullet for one of them. And of all his brothers, he owed Happy the most.

Happy Lowman, the Tacoma Killer had killed the man that had harmed his daughter, he had saved the girl that he thought of as a daughter of the same fate, and he had taken all the consequences without breaking his stride. He owed Happy a lot.

And Liz knew it.

That's why as she went to check on Sarah once more that morning and saw the tail lights of the bike disappear down the street she breathed a sigh of relief. Two days ago she'd caught Asher as she'd been leaving the clubhouse without having gone in and learned the truth.

"_Asher!" Liz caught up with the teenager as she was halfway across the lot. Asher stopped and turned, waiting for Liz to speak. "Where're you going sweetheart?" _

"_Home." Asher replied blatantly and Liz sighed. Asher wasn't stupid, she knew the club wouldn't back her up if she came into the clubhouse after agreeing to testify against one of their own. _

"_Can I have a word?" Asher nodded, following Liz as she led her over to the SUV that Liz drove. "I ran into the deputy today. He said you've agreed to testify about what you saw." _

"_Liz I…" Asher started but Liz held up her hand to stop her speaking. _

"_I know college means a lot to you, Asher, but you're playing with Happys life here." She saw something flicker on Ashers face and she wondered briefly if it was the same look she'd had when Asher and Happy were having the fight on her front lawn the day that Sarah had been taken. Asher had never been anything but polite to Liz her entire life but the look she was giving her now was livid. _

"_You don't think I know that?" _

"_You're not acting like you do, my girl." Liz said sternly. "The prosecutors are going to say that you and him were sleeping together Asher, it could get a whole lot worse for him if you testify." _

"_You need to talk to your husband before you start accusing me of things Liz." Asher replied, standing her ground eye to eye with Liz. "Don't you ever doubt how much I care about Happy or Sarah." With that, Asher had left, leaving Liz standing the flabbergasted. _

"Asher?" Liz turned her head to see her husband standing in the doorway.

"Did you know?" Liz asked quietly and saw Blue shake his head.

"No, not until three days ago, love."

"She didn't tell you anything?" Liz said quietly and Blue shook his head again.

"She came up with it all by herself."

"Will it help?"

"We'll see."

* * *

><p>"On the charge of second degree murder, we find the defendant <em>not <em>guilty." Blue Stevenson felt a sigh of relief sweep through his body as the jury spoke their verdict to the court. "On the charge of aggravated assault, we find the defendant _guilty." _Blue looked to Happy who was staring straight ahead at the front of the courtroom silent as ever.

The judge cleared his throat.

"Happy Lowman." Happy stood up, beside his lawyer. "I charge you to three years prison at a federal facility. You will be eligible for parole in fourteen months." The gavel banged, the guards cuffed Happy and he was pushed towards the door. At the last minute, the man turned his head to look at Blue, nodding his thanks. Blue nodded back in silent understanding. Three years was merely a slap on the wrist.

And they could all thank Asher Hayden for it.

The look on the prosecutions face when her one and _only _witness hadn't turned up had been priceless. It had erased all memory of the livid look on Happys face when he hadn't seen Asher arrive with himself and Liz earlier. The little blonde had come through in the end. But as Blue realised, she'd always had a plan.

Three days ago she'd come to him in the office and told him her plan. She was the only witness. The Prosecution were basing their entire case on her statement. All along she'd known the possibility of her relationship with Happy being exaggerated and that they'd use it against them both. But she'd been one step ahead the whole time. She had no plan to testify but had convinced the Sheriff and the Prosecutors that she had no loyalty to the Sons.

And she pointed out, she didn't. Her only loyalty was to Happy, the man who had saved her life.

The plan all along had been to bail. The remainder of her families heirlooms pawned at the last minute to buy a ticket out of there. She would lay low, not go to college in Seattle and Happys sentence would be reduced because there was no witnesses, and they'd based their entire case on _her. _

Blue had hugged her so tight he thought he was going to break ribs. The girl he'd watched grow up had turned out to be a greater ally to the club than anyone he'd ever known. She'd given up her future to help the Tacoma Killer. He knew it was wrong to be so grateful for someone giving up their life, but Asher was doing this because she wanted to. She knew Happy would be furious. But he'd get over it, as far as she was concerned, this was about helping him and helping their family. Now she was somewhere out of Washington State. Maybe Nevada near her fathers family, or in California where her mothers family were from. She could be anywhere.

* * *

><p>AN: Short one I know- but if I get as much love for this one as I did for the last one I will not hesitate in updating quicker =D. Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts- I appreciate every single one of them.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence. _

Words can't express the amount of gratitude I have for all you reviewers! The response to the last update was overwhelming so thank you all so much. I hope this chapter answers some of your questions and you enjoy it.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen – Out of My Mind <strong>

_Judging by the look on the organ grinder  
>He'll judge me by the fact that my face don't fit<br>It's touching that the monkey sits on my shoulder  
>He's waiting for the day when he gets me<br>But I won't be your concubine  
>I'm a puppet<br>Not a whore  
>I just need this stage to be seen<br>Won't you be a friend of mine to remind me what is real?  
>Hold my heart and see that it bleeds<br>__**- James Blunt**_

**Los Angeles, CA  
>18<strong>**th**** February 2001**

Staring at the handwritten letter in her hand, Asher tried to calm her breathing.

_Can't hide forever_

The words were printed for her to see. Easy and familiar. She felt a chill go down her spine and she suddenly wished she was back in Tacoma. Maybe she should have gone back. She thought she was safe as long as she was away from there, but it seemed her past had followed her. Three years and she'd thought that the only way she could be safe in Tacoma was if Happy was there. But now…now she was alone in Los Angeles and she was staring down the line at a creepy letter. Her hands shook as she folded the piece of paper and put it back under the books on her kitchen bench. Out of sight out of mind.

Looking around the sparse apartment she sighed. This was her ninth apartment in three years.

Walking over to the bed in the corner of the tiny apartment, she reached under the bed and pulled out a shoebox. Lifting the lid she pulled out the Beretta that was stashed in there. Checking it was loaded, she checked the safety once more before putting it back in the box and sliding it back under the bed. Sinking into the mangy carpet, Asher pulled her knees up to her chest and stared at the door.

Almost three years since she'd left Tacoma. Almost three years since she'd used the dim light in the gas station bathroom to inspect the tattoo on her side after hours of riding. They had been somewhere over the California border, on the way to Charming when she had taken the opportunity to peel the bandage off and inspect the art.

It was the same design as the one on her mothers leg. Happy had been shocked when she'd asked. But she'd pulled out the picture of her mother sitting on the bed with her in her arms as a baby, her leg covered in white daisies. They'd had to alter the design a bit for it to work where she wanted it, but it had turned out perfect. Like an intricate daisy chain from her ribs down to her hip bone. Then at the ripe old age of eighteen she'd almost had a heart attack.

Weaved into the daisy chain in heavy black ink with the T starting in the dip of her hip and the D stopping just before the last daisy on her ribs, Asher saw the words Happy had added to the tattoo.

_Tacoma SOA Born and Bred. _

Leaning back on the bed she hiked up her shirt and inspected the ink in the light. After three years and countless one night stands, she'd heard all kinds of things about the tattoo. Many hadn't noticed the words, the ones that had had asked her what it meant but she'd changed the subject. There had been only one that had known exactly what it meant and had left in a hurry. She wasn't sure what it meant to have the words tattooed on her side forever, but she imagined that the guy bailing on her was the desired effect. The words were a warning.

If only those words stopped the letters arriving at her apartment every few months.

The first one had shaken her, but she'd decided to stand her ground, the Beretta that Spanner had given her when he'd left her in the city tucked safely under her bed. But as soon as she tried to pretend it was nothing they started coming every second day. She'd considered calling Spanner or Blue, but the fact that half the club were meant to think she was dead, didn't really allow her to do such a thing. There was only one person she would feel comfortable calling, the only person that she knew would protect her. And he was in jail.

So instead she'd taken the gun, the few belongings she'd had, paid the last months rent and moved, switching jobs. Bartending allowed her to switch jobs, and even though she was underage, her swag of fake ID's had been handy, but in the end, she'd found herself sitting on the stage a piano or guitar in front of her, singing to the drunks and earning more in tips than she had working all week at the gas station in Tacoma, in one night. And it lasted like that for nearly a year before she'd decided she couldn't be a barmaid for the rest of her life. And she was hardly going to sing for pennies on the street corner to make a living.

And that had been when she'd decided to go back to school and do nursing. And now, two years into her course, and only two more to go, she knew she had something that could get her work no matter where she was. Nursing was fallback plan number two. The cash stashed in the coffee tin behind the box with the gun in it was number one. She had a pretty good idea who was sending the letters too, but there wasn't much she could do until he decided to show his face.

Tracing her thumb over the last daisy on her hip she tugged down her shirt and climbed slowly off the floor. She walked over to the calendar on the fridge and stared at the date like she did most days. Sarah was the only one she still had contact with from Tacoma. The eleven year old sent her letters and she was the only one that had Ashers contact information. She was the also the only one that no-one had told how long Happy had gotten in jail.

So now she just had to sit back and wait and hope that when she did go back to Tacoma he would be out.

But until then, today was her twenty-first birthday and she was alone. Not that she minded, but she would have preferred not to have her only gift being a creepy typed letter.

* * *

><p><strong>Washington State<br>18****th**** February 2001**

"Lowman, visitor!" Happy looked up from his weights and glanced over at the warden who was glaring in his direction. Standing up, he pulled his t-shirt back on and followed the guard into the building.

Blue must have decided to come earlier he thought as he followed.

Every month the president had made the effort to come down to the State penitentiary and see him. It was a familiarity that he hadn't had last time he'd been inside, but after nearly three years he almost craved the news from the outside world. Whether it was about how Charming was fucking around, Blues words, not his own, or Blue confiding in him that he didn't think he would be at the head of the table much longer, it was comforting, something that once he hadn't needed.

The only thing Blue couldn't tell him about was the blonde girl that had saved him. Because that's what she'd done, she'd saved him from spending a good chunk of time behind bars. The first visit after the trial from Blue, the older man sat across from him and told him the whole story, how Asher had come to him and told him she was leaving and refusing to testify. Initially he'd been furious that the little bitch had ignored his orders, but when he understood the lengths to which the girl had gone to for him, a killer, had proven that he'd done the right thing in helping her in the first place.

But it wasn't Blue that was waiting for him, sitting at the table, their fingers laced together as they looked around the visitors room. In all his life he had never expected the person that was sitting at the table in front of him as he sat.

"Do you know who I am?" The man said, his voice low.

"Yeah." Happy replied, still in slight shock. "I've met you before ."

"I know."

"What do you want?" Happy almost sneered as the man sighed and leant back in his chair, fishing a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket, glancing at the wardens as he did.

"I think we have something in common." He replied, holding the folded paper between his fore and middle fingers, the ink on his arms in full display. It wasn't nearly as much as Happys, but it would rival many. Happy didn't say anything, just watched as the man glanced at the paper again before tossing it down in front of him. "Open it." He ordered, and even though every bone in his body was telling him not to obey, Happy leant over and unfolded the paper with quick fingers. "Read it."

So he did.

_You probably don't remember me. _

There was no Dear…, there was no acknowledgement of who the receiver was meant to be, but the first line was bold enough to stir a familiar feeling in him.

_I remember everything about you though. The way you looked when you slept, the way you liked your coffee, what colour your favourite shirt was. I remember all the things about you that a wife should know. _

_But I'm not your wife. You remember her. She died eighteen years ago. Three months after I was born. _

_Do you remember me now? _

Happy felt something squeeze at his chest. He'd known all along, but to see the words plainly written out in front of him slammed the reality home.

_By the time you read this I will be long gone. I don't know where, but for the first time in my life I am doing something for me. I'm not considering you because you never considered me. I spent my entire life making up excuses for you. About why you couldn't be at my first day at high school, or be there for my eighteenth birthday or even at my graduation. I bet you don't even know what Colleges I got into. _

_But it doesn't matter. _

_I'm not going to college, not yet anyway. _

_These are things which you should know. You should know what colleges I wanted to go to and have been there to congratulate me when I got my drivers license. You should know why I'm not going to college. Why I sacrificed my future for another person. _

Happy wasn't sure if he wanted to read anything more. It was all too fucking depressing.

_His name is Happy Lowman. By the time you read this, he'll probably be out of jail. You should meet him. If it's the one fatherly thing you ever do – I want you to look him in the eye and thank him for saving your daughters life. I want you to look him in the eye and know that when I thought I would never have faith in a man after you proved to be such a disappointment, Happy gave me faith and I am forever indebted to him. He also made me realise that you were in the wrong. It wasn't my fault that Molly died, and it wasn't my fault that you became an alcoholic that needed your sixteen year old daughter to pick you up from bars when you go kicked out. You should also thank him for that. _

_I don't hate you, Dad. I just don't know any better. But the point is I should_

Then the confirmation, the scrawly writing that made him swallow harshly.

_Your daughter, Asher. _

"She turns twenty-one today." Franks voice broke into Happys thoughts and he looked up at the man watching him as he folded the letter again. "I know you get out in four months." Happy didn't move, just kept his jaw clenched as he stared at the older man. "Are you listening to me, _boy?_" Happy felt his hands ball into fists, ready to leap across the table at the man that pissed him off so fucking much. "When you get out, I don't want you to go anywhere near _her." _Laughing slightly to himself Happy shook his head.

"I'm going to find her." He replied, looking Frank dead in the eye.

"You're going to kill her." Frank replied, his voice low. "Her mother died because I didn't listen to the warnings people gave me." Frank leaned closer, his arms bulging, "The Club killed my wife. Three months after Asher was born, Molly was shot, driving home. I watched my wife bleed to death and _you _know the same will happen if you find her."

"I'm not you, Frank." Happy snarled, looking up and gesturing to a guard that he was ready to leave. Leave this pitiful excuse for a man behind. Standing up, he was escorted away from the table, hearing Frank yell out to him as he left.

"Ashers better off without you."

* * *

><p><strong>Los Angeles, CA<strong>

**10****th**** April 2001  
><strong>

"Shit." Asher squatted down and picked up the letters from the ground. It had been a long day at class and all she wanted to do was sleep.

"Here you go." Someone leant down in front of her and swept the remainder of the letters up from the ground and held them out to her. Asher looked up at the dark haired guy in front of her. He had deep brown eyes, his black hair hanging over his face like Collies had when they'd been in highschool.

"Thanks." Asher gave a small smile as she took them and saw the familiar pink letter on the top of the pile. One more and she was getting the hell out of that building.

"Adam." He said holding out his hand as Asher stood up, straightening up. She glanced up at him briefly. Usually she gave out a fake name or brushed them off, nothing to tie her to the place and all that. But he was in her building, if she lied, she'd run into him eventually.

Thankfully her cell cut off any attempts at introduction. Looking down she swallowed at the sight of the number flashing across her screen.

"I have to go." She said quickly, tucking her letters under her arm and pushing her way into the apartment, dropping everything on the ground as the door slammed and flipping open the phone. "Hello?"

"Asher? You there?" Blues voice was familiar down the line and Asher sucked in a deep breath, not realising how much she missed them.

"Hey."

"I found your letters." Blue said, answering the unasked question of how he'd gotten her number. Looked like Sarahs parents were still smothering her with their overprotectiveness.

"It's okay."

"Asher," he sighed, and she could tell he sounded tired. "Baby, you need to come home."

"Happy?" She asked, it being the first thing to come to her head.

"No, Asher, it's your Dad." Her Dad? "He had a heart attack, he's dead."

"Oh." Was all she could manage.

"No-one could find you, Asher, his parents and Bill are organising the funeral, it's in two days." Asher nodded even though he couldn't see her.

"Okay."

"Two days, Ash."

"I know." Asher replied and the phone clicked leaving her standing there in the sparse apartment by herself wondering how much longer it was going to be until all the people she loved were gone.

* * *

><p>AN: Review! Please! x


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen – Last Day On Earth <strong>

_Look down  
>The ground below is crumbling<br>Look up  
>The stars are all exploding<br>It's the last day on earth  
>In my dreams<br>It's the end of the world  
>And you've come back to me<br>In my dreams  
><em>_**- Kate Miller-Heidke**_

**Tacoma WA**

**14****th**** April 2001 **

Asher straightened her dress again and took a deep breath to calm her shaking hands.

"You alright jailbait?" Looking up from her ringed fingers Asher saw Kozik leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed across his cut clad chest as he surveyed the packed up boxes in the main room. Three years and the cocky blonde had not changed a bit.

"Yeah," Turning her whole body around she walked over and leant up to press a kiss to the blonde bikers cheek, not missing the new ink on his neck. "Hey." Koziks large hand grazed her hip as she stepped back and looked up at him.

"Long time no see." She gave him a slight smile before turning back to face the packed up boxes. "When did you get back?"

"About ten minutes ago." She lied. She'd been in town for a few hours, having been to see the lawyer that had called her the day before telling her she'd inherited everything. She'd spent the morning putting the house up for sale and making sure that all the valuable items left in the house that hadn't been used in her getaway plan, were packed in her car. It had taken a while because who ever had packed up everything had done a meticulous job of it.

"You look good." Asher glanced over her shoulder again, smirking.

"You think anyone with tits looks good." He shrugged and Asher sat down on one of the boxes that someone had packed up, probably her aunt. It had all the trademarks of Bills wifes control issues. "Can I-" She started but Kozik held his hand up to stop her talking.

"Killers out in two months." She bit her lip, trying to fight the smile tugging at her lips. "He got three years." Asher nodded again and Kozik sighed again, glancing out the door into the bare front yard that had become even drier since she'd left, before walking over to sit beside her on the box. The smell of Old Spice and leather invaded Ashers nose and she couldn't help but lean into his shoulder. It was strange but the smell brought so much comfort to her after all that time. "I'm sorry baby."

She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She hardly even knew her father, just because they'd existed in the same house for eighteen years didn't mean that they'd ever had a meaningful conversation. The things she knew about him were from watching him and hearing about what he was like from her other relatives. They told her stories of a man she'd never met, a man that she'd left without so much as a goodbye, just a letter that told him how disappointed she was in him. He probably hadn't ever even found it.

"You know," Kozik paused, as if contemplating wether to tell her or not, "everyone thought he'd killed you." Asher straightened up, looking over at the blue eyes watching her. "That night, they thought Happy had killed you to stop you testifying." She smirked slightly. Happys reputation clearly preceded him.

"Even you?"

"Nah," he ran a large ringed hand through his hair, making it even messier , "Hap wouldn't waste that much ink on some bitch he was going to off." She didn't know why she found some sort of comfort in that. "'Specially after what he wrote." Kozik had clearly seen the ink on her side when Happy had been doing it. "You know what that means don'tcha girl?"

Asher stood up, she didn't want to have this conversation with Kozik of all people. He was Happys friend not hers. She was hardly going to discuss the inner meanings of the words on her side with a Son, no matter how well he knew his brother.

"I want to make one thing clear." She turned to face him, glaring down at him. "Happy and _I _are not up for discussion. I have a life, it has nothing to do with this club. I came home to bury my father then I'm getting the fuck out of here."

"Glad you made that clear." A voice came from the doorway and Asher spun around to see Spanner, fully patched and a grin on his face as his green eyes glittered with mischief. Of everyone, Asher had missed him the most. She knew she could never repay him for taking her all the way to California.

"Pete." Asher sighed with relief and let the huge man walk over and pull her into a hug.

"Kozik still being an asshole?"

"As ever." Asher replied coyly, stepping back to tap her finger on the patch on his chest. "Got your top rocker?"

"You bet your sweet ass, baby girl. Got you to thank for that too." Her brow furrowed and he grinned again. "I'll tell you 'bout it later. You ready for this?"

"Guess I don't really have a choice." It seemed that just because she'd run away Tacoma hadn't stopped functioning. The Haydens had come all the way from Nevada to organise her fathers funeral. Sherriff Bill Hayden would be there in all his uniformed glory to remind her that she had abandoned her father.

"Hey." Her thoughts were interrupted by Spanners voice. "This shit ain't on you. What you did? Takes a lot of guts and your old man didn't help himself." She nodded and took the hand he offered her before looking over at Kozik who was standing up and straightening his cut, catching her gaze he nodded and she gave him a grateful smile.

They all agreed she'd done the right thing.

This wasn't her fault.

* * *

><p>Sitting in the front row, Asher stared at the coffin in front of her. There weren't many people at the funeral, but there were more than she had expected. Her grandparents, Kathy and John were there, four seats down from her. Bills wife sat beside Asher, with Bill on her other side. Asher felt trapped, like a caged animal. It didn't make any sense that those people were there, in the last eighteen years she'd had minimal to do with them, her father almost just as little. It was funny how in death everything is forgiven.<p>

The walk into the cemetery had been the hardest part of the whole morning though. The looks and whispers as she made her way towards the coffin were similar to the ones she'd gotten on the way to the real estate agent that morning. Guess everyones famous in a small town.

The lack of remorse that she showed clearly worried the others in the front row, but how could she wish that her father was still alive when he'd finally gotten what he'd wanted. It had taken eighteen twenty-one years, and she wasn't sure why he'd waited that long to give into the pain.

A heart attack induced by a broken heart.

Glancing around her aunt, Asher saw her grandmother wiping at her eyes and she wondered if they understood the significance of the date. Tomorrow was the twenty-first anniversary of her mothers death. Turning her head back to the coffin, about to be lowered into the ground, she saw her fathers headstone beside her mothers.

At least, finally they were together.

* * *

><p>As they filed out of the cemetery, Spanner joined her, the rest of the Sons hanging back with a few other people she recognised.<p>

"You want a lift to the wake?" He asked, as Asher watched her grieving grandmother get helped into the black sedan. "Jury and the others are coming to the clubhouse."

"I've got my car."

"You sure you-" He cut himself off and nodded. "Right, well come and have a few drinks at the clubhouse."

"I will." He lowered his head and gave her a look that told her she better.

"See you there." Watching his reaper clad back walk back to the bikers she took a deep breath and headed across the road to where her little blue Jetta was parked in front of Jonesys bar. As she sat in the drivers seat she glanced at the heavy watch on her wrist and decided that if she went now, she could be in Sacramento before nightfall. It was decided, and starting the car she pulled out of the park, going to make one more stop before she got the hell out of Tacoma.

* * *

><p>It had been a long time since she'd knocked on the Stevensons door, but it didn't feel right walking in there. She knew Blue and Liz would be at the Clubhouse, so she wasn't surprised when a blonde teenage boy with brown eyes pulled the door open and looked down at her.<p>

"Asher?"

"Hey shithead." Asher grinned when she saw how much Thomas had shot up.

"Your such bitch." Shrugging, she pushed past the teenager who was almost the spitting image of his brother and into the house. "Sarah's in her room." Asher nodded and kept going, up the stairs and knocking on the door of the bedroom she remembered as Sarahs.

"Go away Thomas!" Pushing open the door Asher glanced around the room that had changed a lot since she'd been a teenager.

"Greet all your guests like that?" She asked when she saw the eleven year old sitting on the bed.

"Asher!" Jumping off the bed, the girl ran over and wrapped her arms around Ashers waist.

"Hey baby. " Hugging her back Asher squeezed her slightly, her eyes roaming the walls plastered with band posters and drawings.

"Are you staying?" Sarah asked when she pulled back and looked up at her. Asher contemplated lying, like she had to Spanner, but remembered her promise.

"No, Sare, I just came to say goodbye."

"You didn't even say hello." The girl bit out and Asher cocked her eyebrow down at the little blonde who was glaring up at her.

"Better than nothing." Asher reasoned but Sarah didn't say anything, just turned her back on Asher and clambered back onto her bed. Asher watched as she picked up a pencil again and started drawing. "What you're not talking to me now?"

"You never stay." That was fair, Asher decided.

"I know."

* * *

><p>By two o'clock Asher was back on the road, alone with her thoughts. Tacoma was too overwhelming anymore. There was too much tied to one little town that she couldn't run from. She thought she'd be able to stay there for a few more days but Bills words as she entered the cemetery still echoed in her head.<p>

_You don't belong here_

Tacoma wasn't her home anymore. She didn't have any more family there and she didn't have anything to do with the club, besides a tattoo on her side that she still didn't understand the meaning of. She didn't know Jury or any of the Nevada bikers who had come to the funeral, her only memory of them being the tattoo on her fathers forearm of a flaming devil. The Devils Tribe had been how her parents had met and she had a sneaking suspicion that leaving them had been part of the reason for her fathers drinking, besides the death of the love of his life.

It seemed bikers were everywhere in her life. And everytime she saw one she was reminded of that night behind the bar, Sarah, and of course Happy. That was part of the reason she liked LA so much. It was so full of plastic and gold that bikers had no place there. And besides the letters in her mailbox and the ink on her skin, she was free of them, until the nights when she lay in bed alone and was plagued with memories.

Swallowing thickly, she turned the music up and pressed the gas down, itching to get across the border as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>AN: And she's gone again. Sorry about that...but the next Chapter is all Happy. Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! They mean so much to me.

x


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen – Plans<strong>

_I just met you  
>I can read your thoughts<br>What they tell me is what I want  
>I'll keep you guessing<br>Keep you wanting more  
>Who knows this could feel right<br>Don't forget me  
>Or what you want<em>_**  
>- Birds of Tokyo<strong>_

**Washington State **

**12****th**** June 2001  
><strong>

When Happy left the heavy gates of the correctional centre behind, he grinned at the sight of his brothers sitting on their bikes out the front, arms crossed across their chests as they grinned back. Blue was the first to move, striding over to him and holding his arms out wide.

"Brother!" Happy hugged the President, slapping him on the back and stepping back to take the cut that Lorca extended to him. He grinned when he saw his brother extend the leather to him.

"Thanks." He said quietly as he slid the cut over his arms and tugged it on. It felt good to have it back on. Like he was whole again.

"Good to have you back, man." Lorca hugged him, similar slaps being exchanged before Kozik was there, rubbing his hand over the short hair on Happys head.

"Fuck off dickhead." Happy growled slapping his hand away and accepting the hug his brother offered.

"Yeah missed you too sweetheart." Kozik grinned, stepping back and grabbing the scruff of a familiar looking youngster behind him. "So did your favourite shit kicker." Spanner was shoved in front of him and Happy couldn't help but grin wide when he saw the patches on the kids cut.

"Got your top rocker kid?"

"Yeah man." He said nervously, running his hand through his sandy hair.

"Well, lets get this show on the road." Blue bellowed, stopping Spanner saying anything more. The other three headed for the bikes but Happy grabbed the back of Spanners cut and pulled him back, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"You and me need to talk." He growled at the former-prospect as he felt the letter in his jean pocket burning a hole through the fabric. The letter that Frank Hayden had left at the front desk for him, to remind him that he wasn't meant to go near Asher. If anything it just reinforced his need to find her. He had the overwhelming urge to know how she thought so highly of him when all he'd done was fight her.

"Yeah." Spanner said quietly, looking over his shoulder at the President before turning back to Happy who was glaring at him.

"Where is she?"

"Asher? Dunno." Spanner looked away briefly and Happy knew straight away he was lying.

"You want my fist jammed down your throat?"

"Last I saw her she was in LA…she came back a few months ago for Franks funeral." Spanner tried to get out of his grip, but it was a waste of time.

"Ainsley?" He felt the younger Son tense under his arm.

"Dunno."

"Shit." For some reason he felt like something was wrong as soon as he knew Ainsley was still out there.

"You two wanna get a room or what?" Lorca bellowed and Happy let Spanner go and turned towards the bikes, his baby there in all it's glory. God he'd missed freedom.

* * *

><p>"There you go Brother." Bowie slapped a wad of cash down in front of Happy as Church was put in progress. He leafed through the bills, trying not to look surprised at the amount of notes in front of him. Last time he'd been inside, he certainly hadn't had this kind of homecoming. Being part of the club was well worth it. "Bit extra there for that thing you took care of." Not lifting his head, Happy nodded, remembering the little irish punk that had required a talking to for the mother charter.<p>

Blue dismissed them all soon after, and Happy waited while his brothers filed out before standing up and walking to the head of the table where Blue was watching him. He split the wad of bills in half, and slapped it down in front of the president.

"I wanna pay you back the bail money."

"I ain't takin' your money brother. " Blue replied, stubbing out the cigarette he'd had pinched between his fingers.

"I ain't takin' no for an answer."

"You remember who you're talking to." Blue snapped and Happy checked himself.

"What about Clay?" He knew that the Charming president had chipped in a bit of money for bail as a favour to Blue.

"Clay had as much interest in your bail as I did. I owe you, I won't take your money." He seemed to think about something briefly before sighing. "Aight, you can pay off a quarter of it, if it'll help your non-existent conscience." Any other brother would have gotten smacked in the face for the comment, but Blue was just ribbing him and he knew it.

"Aight." Blue held out his hand and Happy placed the notes in his hand before tucking the rest in his cut. "I'll get you the rest."

"Take your time." Happy nodded again and went to leave the room. "Oh Hap." Happy paused and turned back to his greying president.

"Pull up a pew." He made his way over to the table and sat down in the chair that was now reserved for Kozik. Folding his hands on the table, he waited for his president to speak. "I know you want to take care of the Ainsley situation. And I'm going to let you." Happy nodded. "When I asked you to keep an eye on Asher back then it was to keep her out of trouble with the Mayans. I thought…" he sighed and ran a hand over his wrinkled brow. "This shit with her father…"

And like that it was confirmed. Happy had always known there was more to the story than anyone ever let on with Ashers parents. Sons didn't just take stray kids under their wings because they were having a rough time at home. Ashers parents were connected to the club and he'd know that the moment he'd seen the flaming devil tattooed on Franks arm the night he'd been let out of County.

"I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth." Blue sighed.

"Frank said her mother was shot." Blue nodded.

"Yeah."

"Does she know." Blue took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yeah, she's always known." Leaning forward he looked Happy dead in the eye. "It's hard to keep anything from Asher, that's why it was you I asked to look out for her." Happy nodded remembering the order Blue had given him all those years ago before he went and picked her up from the house party. But this wasn't about following Blues orders anymore. Asher meant more to him than he cared to admit. "If you go after Ainsley and you find her, you can't tell her about Frank." Happy nodded again going to stand up. "I found the fucker that shot him, Bill Hayden knows, but that doesn't mean this is over. There's a lot of history with Ashers family and this Club, I don't want her involved."

"Aight." Happy started towards the door again, but Blue called out to him.

"I'm gunna need you to head down to Charming in a few weeks. Thought you might wanna take some time, go see your ma or somethin'." He didn't miss the way the President said 'something'.

Asher was in California.

"Yeah." Blue nodded his thanks before leafing through the bills.

"I'll need you to take a package for someone."

"Aight." Leaving the chapel, a blonde sweetbutt that looked vaguely familiar sidled up to him and stroked his cut.

"Hey Happy." She said, lowering her voice. "Welcome back."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**12****th**** June 2001**

He was sitting on one of the park benches in front of the clubhouse when the SUV pulled up to the lot, the passenger door slamming as a young girl jumped out and stalked towards the office, her blonde hair falling in long waves down her back. She was wearing flip flops and torn jeans, a black tank top coming down to her mid thigh. As if she could feel him watching she swivelled her head around to narrow pale blue eyes at him, the golden hair falling around her shoulders.

Sarah Stevenson.

He watched her narrow her eyes briefly before turning her head back and stalking into the office, the door slamming behind her. He guessed she'd be about eleven or twelve now, not that she seemed to act it as if she'd been forced to grow up too quickly.

In jail, he often spared a thought for the tiny eight year old that had clung to him bleeding. If saving her had meant that he'd spend ten years in jail, he still would have done it. For the Blue and the Club, for Asher and for little Sarah, who didn't seem that little any more. He had a vague flashback to the first time he'd seen Asher in the lot, nearly ten years ago, a similar purpose to her stride, another Tacoma teen forced to grow up too quickly.

Shaking his head, he tried to rid himself of thoughts of the younger girls. Three years ago he'd spent a lot of his time forcing himself not to act on every touch he shared with Asher. He'd been close the time that she'd patched him up after they'd raided a Mayan warehouse, and then again the night he'd tattooed her. If Kozik hadn't been in the room…thinking about it and acting on it, but were two completely different things. And thank fuck for that.

Blues words still followed him around. It hadn't taken long to get the full story from Kozik about Franks death. About how three Mayans had stormed the house as he'd returned from an AA meeting. He'd been three months sober.

Franks visit still plagued him. Afterwards the night in the bar came to him as he slept. Usually he never remembered his dreams, but these were filled with bright lights and screaming and crying girls. Once he'd said Ashers name in his sleep and woken to see the man in the cell across from him watching.

"Asher was the second son of Jacob." The man had said, "Genesis states his brothers believed he tried to tear them apart, but were then forced to realise his intentions had been to reconcile his brothers, not betray them. The name means Happiness." Happy had been lying there, watching the man through his bars as he spoke, then watched him turn away. She'd told him her name was an oxymoron, but he knew deep down, that she was wrong.

The door of the office slammed again and the girl stalked towards him, a livid look on her face as she passed him and went into the clubhouse.

"You know she doesn't talk to anyone." Koziks familiar voice didn't distract him as he watched the girl until the reaper covered door slammed behind her. "Last year they took her to a counsellor because of her nightmares and she just jammed up."

"Shit."

"She'll talk to you." Happy looked over at his blue eyed brother who he hadn't realised was now wearing the Sargent At Arms patch.

"How'dya know?" Happy asked, inhaling on his cigarette and Kozik chuckled slightly.

"She told me."

"You just said…" Happy started but stopped when he saw the shit eating grin on his brothers face.

"I ain't just anyone." Kozik lit a cigarette and pulled it from his lips. "If you wanna know where Asher is – she's the one to ask." Happy contemplated getting up and going into the clubhouse. But where the fuck was finding out where Asher was going to get him? Would he ride all the way to California and drag her ass home? Would she even give a shit about him? Those thoughts and the slight pang of rejection had him refusing to move. He'd never admit it, but knowing Asher didn't want anything to do with him would hurt him.

"Don't need to know where the little bitch is." He replied gruffly, leaning on his knees and staring out over the lot that hadn't changed a single bit.

"You won't mind me going and visiting her next time I'm in Cali then? She's all grown up now, grew into those tits of hers." Kozik smirked and Happy knew he was trying to get him riled up, and it was working. It had been a long time since he'd been jealous at the thought of another man, especially a brother touching Asher. He wasn't going to give Kozik jack shit for that, instead, pushed himself off the bench and stalked into the clubhouse where he found Sarah Stevenson sitting on the bar watching one of the Prospects sharpen his knife.

"Take a hike dickhead." He growled at the kid, Max or Matt or something, and he scampered away. Sarah turned her pale blue eyes on him and he made sure to stand a good few metres away from her. "You know who I am kid?" She didn't answer him, and he took it for a yes. "You made me a card once." There was a long pause before any of them spoke.

"You're the reason she left."

"What?" He asked, surprised at the anger in the girls voice.

"Asher left because of you."

"Who told you that?" Happy asked, a bit pissed off that the little girl thought it was his fault Asher had left. He'd wanted her to stay and testify.

"No-one." She turned her head away from him and stared off at the mugshots on the wall behind the bar, shelves of liquor on either side. "No-one tells me anything." Then she slid off the bar and walked straight past him. If it had been Asher he would have grabbed her and made a scene, but he knew better than to start grabbing Sarah. If he ever wanted to know where Asher was, he'd need to keep his temper in check.

"Sarah's a dead end." Turning his head Happy saw Spanner standing behind him. "She won't say shit." Clearly he'd missed their conversation. "Why do you want to find her?"

"What?" He asked, wondering where the kid had gotten the balls to stand up to him.

"Asher. Why do you want to find her?"

"It ain't about the girl." Happy replied and Spanner scoffed.

"Right, it's all about finding Ainsley right? You think finding her will help you find Ainsley?" Happy wasn't entirely sure why he thought it but he was almost certain that if Asher was refusing to come back to Tacoma it had something to do with the Lacrosse coach.

"Yeah, it will."

"Aight, I'll call Collie." Spanner turned his back on his brother and Happy watched him leave.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**18****th**** June 2001**

A week later, another bundle of notes to Blues pocket, Collie finally showed his face at the Clubhouse. Collie had changed a lot since Happy had last seen him.

He'd had a haircut and was now working in some flash banking firm, but even all grown up, the kid couldn't hide his fear when he walked in and saw Happy sitting at the bar.

"Collie." He growled when the twenty-one year old walked over and sat beside him, placing the laptop down on the bar.

"Happy." Happy watched the adams apple in his throat bob as he swallowed thickly. "Guess you're out."

"Guess I am."

"And looking for Asher." Happy nodded. "I tried…" He started but Happy narrowed his eyes at him. "She's in LA."

"Where?" Happy watched as Collie flipped open the laptop and started typing, before turning the screen to face the biker. Happy leant forward on his chair and tried to see the picture that was displayed on the screen.

"Lorca knew you'd be after her as soon as you were out, so he sent me to look for her." Happy nodded, "Somethings up Happy." He said quietly and Happy lifted his head from looking at the blurry image on the screen. "She's not using her social, her name hasn't come up in any tax or bank records. I can't find shit."

"She's hiding." Happy turned his head when he heard the younger mans voice and saw Spanner and Kozik hovering behind them.

"Yeah." Collie said, affirming Spanners statement. "But if she was hiding from us, she would have left LA. Spanner dropped her off there three years ago. If she was hiding from the club she would have booked as soon as he was out of sight." Happy nodded pretty sure he knew exactly who she was hiding from.

"You think Sarah knows?" He asked, looking up at Kozik.

"Yeah she knows."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<br>21st**** June 2001**

Bag packed and strapped to the back of his bike three days later, Happy and Spanner walked up the drive to Blues house. He didn't even have a chance to knock before Liz pulled open the door and looked up at the two Sons.

"Hey guys, sorry, Blue's just finishing up some stuff, come in." They followed Liz into the house and down the hall to the kitchen. Happy hadn't been in the house since he'd been given a blow job by the blonde whore in the bathroom and Asher had walked in. Seemed like everything in Tacoma always came back to her. "You want a drink?" Liz asked and they both shook their heads.

"Sarah in?" Happy asked finally and Lizs eyes darted up to meet his, a worried look on her face.

"Yes."

"Can I talk to her?" He asked and saw Spanner shoot him a look. They were leaving for Charming today and this was his last chance to find Asher before they got there.

"Um, sure, she's upstairs." Happy nodded and held up a hand when Liz went to go with him.

"Two minutes Liz." He warned and even though he knew the woman was desperate to tell him no, she just gripped the kitchen bench tightly and nodded, letting him go.

Walking up the stairs slowly, Happy looked around the part of the house he'd never been in before coming out on the landing and finding the only closed door, music blasting from behind it. Lifting a ring clad hand, he knocked, once, twice and seconds later the door was hauled open and Sarah was looking up at him. Once she registered who he was, she turned her back on him and walked back into the room, lifting her mattress and pulling a thin envelope from under it.

She walked over to him and held out the envelope. Happy took it and looked down at the same handwriting that had been on Frank Haydens letter. Definitely Ashers. Sarahs name and address were on the front and when he flipped it he saw the sender section was blank.

"You know where she is?" He asked quietly, not wanting to alert Liz to Sarahs self imposed muteness.

"Now you do too." Then she shut the door in his face. He was about to go downstairs, but stopped, realising what Sarah had said. He unstuck the back of the envelope and pulled out the paper with the familiar handwriting on it. There at the top of the page was an apartment number and address in Los Angeles. If she'd really been running from them, it would have been a post office box.

Tucking the letter back in his cut, he made his way downstairs to find Blue and Spanner in the kitchen. Blue nudged the package on the bench in Happys direction.

"Talking to my daughter a social call?" Blue asked, watching as Happy picked up the parcel and saw the front of it was blank. "Guessing you know where to take it now." Happy nodded, the package was heavy but small enough to fit inside his cut. "You make sure you're the one that delivers it."

"Sure."

"Aight, Spanner, you stay with Clay a few days while Haps in Bakersfield. By the time he gets back the shipment will be there. Clay needs you there in case shit goes south, don't disappoint me." Spanner and Happy nodded before hugging their president and heading towards the door. "See you when you get back."

* * *

><p>AN: thank you all so much for your reviews! Made me so happy! So hope you enjoyed it, you know how to get speedy updates- review! x


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

Dear reviewers thank you all so much- and I'd like to say 'your wish is my command' enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen – Against the Wall <strong>

_I can't deny your eyes  
>You know I tried to read between the lines<br>I saw the warning signs  
>Then you feel me up against the wall<br>Who said it's better to have loved and lost  
>But I wish I had never loved at all<br>__**- Boys Like Girls**_

**Los Angeles, CA  
>23<strong>**rd**** June 2001**

Asher slid out of the bed quietly and looked over at the man sleeping beside her. Adam. Her neighbour had turned out to be a regular fuck-buddy even if there was no feelings between them. He was just another Riley that she used to keep the nightmares at bay. It had been a long time since she'd slept alone, but she knew without a doubt that it had to stop. So did the drinking.

It was too easy to give into the Hayden family gene and find herself coming home to a glass of whiskey or two to help her sleep.

Adam shifted in his sleep and she watched his shaggy dark hair fall in his eyes. He reminded her a bit of Collie with his hair and his sweet nature. But it was all covered up with his I-hate-the-world attitude. That's why she'd fallen into bed in the first place, because it felt like there might have been someone in the world besides Happy that understood her.

But it was all an act. He was just another lonely boy that had found his place in with the emo crowd in LA and let people believe that he had a reason to hate on the world. And Asher didn't appeal to that. She didn't hate the world, she just didn't understand her position in it.

"Come back to bed." Adam said without opening his eyes and Asher shook her head, pulling on her jeans and a t-shirt and finding her boots on the ground.

"I have to get to class."

"Skip it." Adam opened his eyes and leant up on elbows and she kind of wished he'd get out of her bed.

"I can't."

"Come on Ash, just do it, for once." It was that statement that made her turn her back on him and walk over to the kitchen area and open the fridge pulling out a bottle of water and an apple. "You're so fucked up." She heard him mutter and bit the inside of her lip to stop herself saying anything. Instead she picked up her handbag and her book bag and left, not giving a shit about the stupid _boy _in her bed.

She headed the hall to the elevator. Right now she needed space. Tapping her foot impatiently she got to the basement and started towards her car before she realised that she'd forgotten her car keys.

"Jesus fucking Christ." She muttered, heading back to the elevator. She was forced to wait until the elevator was empty before it came to her level, dinging on arrival and opening it's doors. She stepped in and leant against the side after hitting her level. It stopped on the ground level and a bald headed man got in, his back to her and Asher couldn't help thinking of Happy. It was times like these when she was alone and annoyed that she thought of him.

They'd hardly had any kind of relationship and she hardly registered on his radar, but he was still the man that no-one could ever compare to. He just got her. As freaking clichéd as it was.

The bald mans level came before hers and he got off, the doors sliding shut behind him, leaving Asher alone. Two more floors to go.

Finally it dinged and the doors slid open and she started walking out. Asher looked through her handbag for her apartment keys and discovered she'd left them behind as well. Out of the corner of her eye she could see a figure in the hall but she didn't look up until she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Looking up, she came to an abrupt halt as the figure turned around and faced her.

_Happy. _

She didn't say anything, she couldn't. It felt like the air had been ripped from her lungs as she took him in. He wasn't wearing his cut, just a long sleeved t-shirt that showed off his biceps but covered up his tattoos and loose jeans, the heavy boots on his feet. He hadn't changed a single bit since the last time she'd seen him, sitting astride his bike in her driveway.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the door of her apartment opened and Adam stepped out.

"Wait!" She managed to yell before he closed the door and turned to see her standing in the hall, down from Happy. "I forgot my keys."

"Oh." Adam watched Happy warily as Asher walked over and walked through the door, ignoring Adam who took the hint and scurried next door. It took all of five seconds for her to locate her keys and when she turned back towards the door, Happy was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed across his chest. It was like the last three years hadn't happened, and she was back in Tacoma. And it the crush she'd had on him back then returned with full force, reminding her of all the times he'd touched her, the skill of his fingers on her skin that last night.

Without much of a fight, she dropped her book bag on the ground knowing that school would be a lost cause today.

"Say something." She finally managed and he shrugged. "Hap." He held out a package that he'd had tucked under his arm.

"From Blue." His familiar voice was soothing. Taking the package gingerly from him she opened the parcel and gasped at the sight of all the notes bundled in there. At the top she could make out the familiar Tacoma Auto letterhead paper and she pulled it out, tossing the money on the benchtop, not caring that it spilled out onto the laminex.

Her eyes scanned the letter that informed her that the money was repayment for the bail money she'd given them. She felt sick when she saw it she couldn't believe Blue had told Happy the truth. She didn't want it. The money she'd given Blue had been to repay Happy she didn't want it back.

"I don't want it." Packing it back up, Asher shoved the letter in the package and shoved it into Happys chest. "Take your money back."

"Huh?" Happy looked down at her, his hand coming up to clutch the package, his fingers brushing hers as she withdrew her hand quickly.

"I gave Blue that money to help you, I don't want it back. It wasn't a loan."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Then Asher realised her error.

"Shit."

"You paid for my bail." He asked, stepping forward and she stepped back, holding her hands up, not wishing for any further invasion of her personal space.

"I can't deal with this right now, I need caffeine." Grabbing her hand bag and her keys she pushed past Happy and out into the hall. "You coming?" He tossed the parcel down on the counter and followed her out the door and down to the elevator.

* * *

><p>The mug sat untouched in front of her as Asher stared at the graffiti ridden table in the diner.<p>

"More coffee?" A waitress asked, smiling brightly until she took in the sight of the young girl sitting across from the surly looking man in the booth.

"No thanks." Asher said quietly and Happy waved his hand in dismissal. The waitress gave a disapproving look before walking away. Asher wondered if people would ever look at the pair of them and not disapprove. Three years had changed a lot of things. She was twenty-one now. Legal in many ways she hadn't been three years ago. Now it wouldn't be unacceptable if anything ever happened between them. Not that it would. Happy still saw her as a child, the way he seemed to be scowling confirmed that. "Why are you here?" She finally asked and looked up at him.

"Why do ya think?" He asked, his fingers tapping on the table. There were no rings on his fingers and without them she couldn't help but notice the strong, long fingers that were covered in tan skin.

"Don't play games with me Happy." She said, narrowing her eyes and saw his lip twitch. He didn't say anything even though she knew he enjoyed bringing out her anger.

"You lied to me."

"About what?" She asked, her brow furrowing as she tried to remember if she had ever lied to him.

"Your name, you said it was an oxymoron."

"Do I look like the bringer of happiness to you?" She snarked in reply, wondering why he even gave a shit about something so stupid.

"The second son of Jacob, Asher reconciled his brothers after making them think he'd betrayed them."

"So what?" Asher asked. She knew the story. It had been Maddies favourite.

"They thought you'd betrayed me." He said, leaning forward on the table and Asher sat back biting her lip as he spoke. "But you were the reason I got out early."

"How did you find me?" She asked, ignoring his words.

"You wanted me to." He was right, she knew that. If she hadn't wanted Happy to find her she could have gone to more effort. But she hadn't. Instead she'd waited for three years for this moment, waiting to know if he'd come and find her. "Why are you running Asher?"

"I'm not running."

"Don't lie to me." He growled and Asher closed her eyes briefly before looking back at his almost black eyes.

"Why are you here?"

"Same reason you're running baby." She nodded, knowing deep down that that was the reason. But it didn't stop the smallest bit of pain shoot through her chest at the thought that this was nothing but an obligation. "This coffee tastes like shit." He added and she nodded.

"I have better stuff at home."

"Why did you bring me all the fucking way down here then?" He growled and she scoffed, like it was a challenge for him to go down the elevator, step out the front door of the apartment building and walk into the neighbouring diner.

"Because killing me in a public place would be immoral." She quipped and stood up, slapping down a few bills which he promptly replaced and stood up in front of her, his hand tucking the notes in the front pocket of her jeans his thumb grazing the skin above the waistband and sending a pleasant shiver through her, his breath co-mingling with hers as he invaded her space.

"Put it in your fucking piggy bank or somethin'."

"His names-" She started, but he held up a hand.

"Eddie, I know."

* * *

><p>Once back in her apartment Asher could feel Happy standing close behind her, her body still humming from his touch.<p>

"Who's the kid?" He asked as she placed her handbag down and looked up at him.

"Huh?"

"The kid that was here earlier." He confirmed and she vaguely remembered Adam, the emo kid who she slept with occasionally. It was hard to think with him so close.

"Hmm." Was all she replied as she looked at the tiny apartment, the bed in front of her, unmade. He would hate it. Happy was a total neat freak. "What's it matter?" She asked turning around to face him.

"You slutting around, I ain't gunna complain." Asher bit her lip. She could only imagine the dirty things he would say to her in bed. She tried to push the explanation out of her mind, along with all the other things she kept inside to protect herself. Admitting to someone that she only slept around was out of sheer survival, the presence of another person and the alcohol being the only thing that could lull her to sleep most nights.

"You wouldn't be able to handle me." She said coyly and his lip twitched again.

"You willing to find out?"

"I ain't no sweetbutt."

"Never said you were Asher." It was the first time in the whole exchange that he'd said her name and it sent a wave of pleasure through her. This was it. This was her ultimatum. Make the choice. The way he was looking at her, she knew he was waiting for her decision.

"You better be ready to back that up, Hap." She warned and quirked her eyebrow.

That was all it took. He was pressed up against her in seconds, his mouth bearing down on her and she pushed back just as hard. There was no tender warm up. They both wanted each other and now there was nothing standing in their way. Asher wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her up onto his hips, walking backwards he kicked the door shut and locked it, all with her still in her arms. Asher sighed loudly when she felt his lips trail down her neck and she pulled him closer with her legs, her blunt nails digging into the back of his neck as he walked towards the bed. His hands released her thighs and Asher dropped to the ground, standing easily before he cocked his head.

"Clothes off." Without a moments hesitation or question she ripped her t-shirt over her head and shucked off her boots and jeans as he removed the gun from the back of his jeans and placed it on the kitchen bench before walking back to her. He licked his lips at the sight of her lacy panties and nothing else. "Fucking slut." He said gruffly and she shrugged, her eyes narrowing as she stepped back to the bed and bit her lip.

"Maybe." Her voice was huskier than she intended but it had the desired effect. She wanted him to fuck her. And she wanted it now. But he stopped and she remembered the ink on her side. His eyes were roving from the point of her hip all the way up to her ribs, darkening as he took in the sight. Before she could say anything though he pounced on her and her fingers tugged the hem of his t-shirt over his head before he reached down and hoisted her up onto his hips with his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her butt cheek, squeezing tightly and getting a whimper from her as it sent another shot of pleasure through her.

As soon as the sound crossed her lips, he threw her easily on the bed and crawled over her, biting and sucking his way up her creamy skin over the ink sending goosebumps all over her flesh. She couldn't believe this was happening, her body was alive. When he reached her panties he yanked them off, discarding them before looking up at her face. Her eyes were hooded and her mouth was hanging open, she probably looked like a slut, she reasoned. But the things his touch was doing to her was crazy. He licked his lips and she snapped her thighs shut, trying to keep some of the sensations that were shooting through her locked in.

He roughly grabbed her knees, kneeling between her legs and wrenched them open. Before she could say anything, his fingers were thrust into her and her body arched up.

"Fuck." She hissed as he stroked her, his thumb finding the little bundle of nerves and flicking as he pumped his fingers the coil in her stomach getting tighter and tighter. Leaning over her, he swept his tongue over her hardened nipple before biting down and that's when the whole world exploded.

He was definitely keeping his word.

"Bet your boyfriend-" He was cut off when she shoved his hand away from her legs and rolled them over.

"You gonna start talking smack to me now Killer?" She growled, her throbbing centre rubbing against the hard on in his jeans. "We gonna fuck or you wanna discuss your feelings?"

He smirked and she swore she felt him harden even more, if that was possible and she rolled her hips into him. He flipped her over so she was on her back again and he knelt up.

"Flip." He ordered and she rolled over and raised her ass up to him. She felt his large hands wrap around her hips and tug her back to rub against the fly of his jeans. Rolling her hips into his pelvis she felt his hands tighten again before she was shoved away. "Fuck this." He growled. Before she could say anything though, a large arm wrapped around her stomach and flipped her over again. "Been long time comin', I'm gunna remember this shit." He said moreso to himself then her. Without another word he tugged the chain on his jeans, pulling the wallet from his back pocket and pulled out a foil packet and ripped it open quickly. Seeing this as her opportunity Asher sat up and reached over, grabbing his belt buckle and yanking it open before ripping his zip down. Once his jeans were pushed past his hips she could admire the view that she had.

He was huge. Further proven when he slid the condom on easily with large hands. In some cases the saying was true. Big hands…but the thought was cut short as he leant over again, his muscles rippling beneath an array of tattoos and Asher lifted her hips up to meet him as he thrust in, causing her to cry out as he filled her but he covered her mouth with his, his tongue expertly diving in to thrust against her own as he began to move. Thrusting hard and fast, all the time their lips joined, tongues moving in time with their hips.

Asher felt her second orgasm for the morning building up and it wasn't until he pulled back from her lips and bit into her shoulder that she came, his name on her lips. Not anyones, his, because he was the only man that had ever made her feel like this. His teeth grazed her skin and she shuddered, riding the rest of the wave as he slowed his thrusts until she was finished, gasping.

There was a small smile playing on his lips but then his face became hardened and serious again as he lifted her leg, hoisting her leg up and throwing it over his shoulder, deepening his thrusts and he began to speed up again, going harder and faster than before. It wasn't long until Asher was clawing at his back in their awkward position and refraining from screaming, only giving up when his teeth grazed her jaw and she came again. The waves sent Happy over the edge as well and he growled in her ear, slumping onto her creating a sweaty satisfied mess.

* * *

><p>Happy rolled off her and fell onto his back, his chest rising and falling heavily as he tried to catch his breath. He could feel the sweat on his chest starting to dry as the cool air hit his skin.<p>

"Wow." Asher breathed and he turned his head to see her lying beside him, her hand over her heart as she too stared at the ceiling.

"That good?" He asked, a slight chuckle escaping as he went back to looking at the ceiling.

"The wait was worth it." She whispered and he nodded. Yeah it was.

The bed dipped and he turned his head to see Asher sitting up on the side of the bed, leaning over and pulling a t-shirt over her head.

"Where ya goin'?" It was something he never asked, but he couldn't help himself. Three years, maybe more, he'd waited and now she was bailing out of bed? Asher turned her head, her long blonde, brown and silver tresses falling around her shoulders. He didn't think many women were beautiful, hot and sexy but not beautiful. Asher though, there was just something about her.

"I don't know." She said quietly and he pushed himself up onto an elbow. What the fuck did she mean she didn't know. Turning her head to face him she gave him a small smile. "I've got class."

"Okay." He watched her lip twitch with a small smile. He understood, sometimes you just needed space. Clearly, something was going on in that head of hers, and hell, he wouldn't appreciate her if there wasn't. That was Asher, always something going on under the surface.

"If you're hangin…" She started but he shook his head cutting her off. "Okay." He watched her get up and walk into the bathroom before he climbed out of bed, pulling up his jeans and putting on his shirt. It was rare that he got in and got out of the bed so quickly. Usually he kicked the bitch out and went to sleep. But he couldn't do that kind of shit with Asher. He respected her enough to get out and not lead her on. Because it was just a fuck right? One that had been coming for a long time and had been worth it.

The shower started and he pulled on his boots as he sat on the bed, looking around the tiny apartment. It was a shithole, he knew that, but it was a good neighbourhood and she was paying little rent. His eyes fell on the parcel of cash on the kitchen table. He was still reeling from the fact that she'd paid to bail him out. All these years he thought he knew her, and she was still surprising him.

Standing up he walked over to the kitchen bench and saw a pile of text books, each with some medical name on the front. Smart bitch was studying nursing. He tried not to get distracted by the nurse fantasy, and felt something stir in him again. _Shit. _He had to get to Bakersfield, he was running behind already.

Lifting one of the books he saw a stack of pink envelopes. The possessive side to him, the side that remembered why he'd tattooed the words on her claiming ownership, picked them up and opened the top one, the plain pink paper having a few words printed across it.

_Can't hide forever _

Placing it down he picked up another one and pulled it open.

_We never had our chance, princess. _

He didn't need to open any of the others. His instinct had allowed him to survive the last thirty-five years, he knew exactly what these meant. He'd been right all along. Asher wasn't hiding from him, she was hiding from Ainsley.

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><p>Well? I think you should review please x<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen – Gods Gunna Cut You Down <strong>

_You can run on for a long time  
>Run on for a long time<br>Sooner or later  
>God'll cut you down<br>Tell that long tongue liar  
>Tell that midnight rider<br>Tell the rambler, The gambler, The back biter  
>Tell them that God's gunna cut them down<br>But as sure as God made black and white  
>What's done in the dark<br>Will be brought to the light  
><em>_**- Johnny Cash**_

Asher used the cold water in the shower to soothe the bruises she could already feel coming out on her thighs and arms. She'd have to wash more jeans to last her a few days until the bruises went away. Sighing she turned off the spray and stood in the shower, listening to see if she could hear Happy moving around the tiny apartment. Maybe he'd left. He was the type to leave, she reasoned. She could slow down, but the idea that he might still be there had her towelling off and grabbing the first set of clean clothes near the hamper. When she walked into the main part of the apartment she sighed when she saw he wasn't in the bed.

"Lookin' for somethin'?" Whipping her head around she saw him leaning against the kitchen counter, the nursing books dangerously close to his arm. She prayed he hadn't seen the pink envelopes she had stashed under them. If he had there was surely a lecture to follow.

"No."

"Sure?" He cocked his head to the side and she swallowed the lump in her throat. What the hell did this mean? Taking a deep breath she spoke the words she needed him to hear.

"Thank you for coming." He rose an eyebrow and she bit her lip, trying to find some of the old Asher, the one that wasn't scared of shadows or men like Happy. "You didn't have to." He smirked and she felt sick. Was he seriously laughing at her now?

"Nah I didn't." He stepped forward, his body moving in front of the books and he came closer to her. "But I did. Bitches like you can't stay outta trouble."

"Nice." She replied sarcastically and he snagged her chin with his thumb and his forefinger.

"Hey," She held his gaze, determined not to give into him. "You're a tough bitch Asher, but sometimes you gotta let the men do what they have to." He clipped her chin for good measure and Asher had to laugh.

"What the fuck does that mean?" She asked as he went for the door.

"It means lock your door. I ain't askin' twice Asher." Then the door slammed and Happy was gone. Asher stared at the door wondering how in the last few hours Happy had returned, ravished her then left, complete with cryptic message. Turning slowly on her heel her eyes fell on the counter where her text books were resting and she suddenly understood. Turned out Happy knew her better than she thought.

* * *

><p>He was meant to be heading to Bakersfield, to see his mother. But he didn't go. Instead Happy started his bike and rode three blocks before parking it and walking back to the apartment building. Standing on the opposite side of the road he looked up and down the street scanning the crowd which was thin. The diner beside the building was a shithole so there were hardly any people there. There was a small grocery store two doors down on the opposite side and there seemed to be people pouring out of it.<p>

He pulled his cell out of his pocket, feeling naked without his gun tucked into the back of his jeans. He was reduced to his back up weapon in the top of his boot, and his wallet felt slightly lighter without the letter from Ashers father weighing it down. He'd left both of them on top of the text books on her counter and taken the pink enveloped letters and folding them into the back pocket of his jeans. They were all he needed to get the help he required.

Dialling he held the phone to his ear before he heard the familiar cheery voice of the ditzy receptionist at Teller Morrow Auto in Charming. He knew Asher was heading to class for a few hours so he had enough time.

"Teller Morrow, this is Candy."

"Tig around?"

"Hang on a sec." Happy waited as his hunting instincts kicked in. He scanned the street again. If he was hunting someone he would come past the diner, less crowded less reliable witnesses. He knew that if Ainsley knew where Asher was he would be watching her. That meant he'd seen Happy, and knew that he was out. There was little doubt that survival had kicked in for Ainsley. It was now a matter of the hunter becoming the hunted.

He would either bail and disappear properly like he should have three years ago, or he would strike first. Happy was hoping he'd strike, because unlike Ainsley, this wasn't his first open season. Shuffling on the other end of the phone line brought him back to reality before his best friends voice came down the line.

"This is Tig."

"Time to cash in that favour brother."

* * *

><p>"I thought I was fucked up." Tig sat across from Happy a few hours later in the window of the small diner, both of them watching the passersby from the corner of their eyes. The Charming Sargent at Arms had the pink papered letters in his hands and a whiskey tainted coffee in front of him. He'd removed his cut and like Happy, parked his bike a few blocks back from the apartment building. "Three years?" Tig turned his eerie blue eyed gaze up to Happy who was now focused on the street.<p>

"Yeah."

"Jesus, hope this gash is worth it." Tig muttered, the comment aimed at Ainsley, not Happy, but Happy still felt like he needed to defend the girl that had helped him out more times than he apparently knew.

"Bitch bailed me out of jail."

"So is this you doing a good deed or trying to get in the girls knickers." Tig asked, not worried about offending Happy, clearly. "Wait…is this Asher Hayden?" Tig seemed to realise and Happy turned his gaze to the SAA. "I thought that bitch was dead." Happy smirked. "She was a witness." Tig looked like it was the most inconceivable thing that she was still breathing.

"Only witness."

"Why are we protecting the witness that tried to put you in jail for a decade?" Happy returned his gaze to the street, scanning everyone.

"Cause she's the only reason I didn't get a decade." Tig sensed that this was the end of the conversation standing up and looking towards the door.

"I need a smoke, brother, I'll be back." Happy nodded and watched Tig go before returning back to the streets.

Asher walked home from class half an hour later and he knew it wouldn't be long now.

* * *

><p>The last part of class had seemed to drag on forever but Asher was thankful it was over and caught the bus back to her section of town. Taking her car had seemed like a bad idea at the time, but now she wished she'd taken it, even if it only meant she didn't have to sit next to the seedy old man that kept trying to look down her top. She'd breathed a heavy sigh of relief as she'd stepped out on her block and started the brisk walk back to her apartment.<p>

She passed the diner and felt eyes watching her as she went past. Turning her head she saw a man with dark curly hair and scary blue eyes watching her as he smoked. His attire of shirt, boots and jeans made her think of Happy, but she knew he would be well on his way to wherever he was meant to be. Even if he knew about the letters, even if he had left her a huge gun and a letter on her counter he would have club business to attend to.

"How'ya doin' doll?" The man asked and Asher gave him a tight lipped smile before she kept walking back to her building, making sure no one followed her and went in.

She'd just dumped her bags on the counter when she heard a knock on the door. Looking around she grabbed Happys gun, flicking off the safety and putting it under her handbag out of sight. As she did, her eyes caught the letter on the counter. Curiosity distracted her and she picked the letter up, unfolding it before she realised what it was. She still remembered writing it.

Her father had seen Happy.

He had finally been a father.

Her stomach churned at the idea that Happy knew how important he was to her, but she decided it was for the best. At least she was being honest. Like she had when she'd dragged him into her still unmade bed a few hours before.

The knock came again and she put down the letter before heading towards the door. Pulling it open she saw Adam standing on the other side, smiling impishly at her.

"I'm sorry." He said and she clenched her jaw, waiting for him to continue. "Anyway, your professor is here, he got your apartment number wrong and I thought I'd bring him over." Asher furrowed her brow. Why would her professor be there?

When the man stepped out of the shelter of the wall and Asher saw his face for the first time she almost screamed, but was cut short as Adams head was smacked into the doorframe and he dropped to the ground. Asher made a run for the kitchen bench, desperate to get her hands on Happys gun, but an arm snagged her wrist and she was jerked back, landing flat on her back as the front door of her apartment slammed shut and she was left looking up at Coach Ainsley.

* * *

><p>Happy Lowman didn't get nervous. Not in all the years Alex Trager had known him anyway, but there he was, an hour after his last smoke break, tapping his fingers impatiently on the table. The waitresses were avoiding their table, Happys frustration was pouring off him in waves and the bystanders were well aware that if they approached him they would eat the lip of the table.<p>

But he'd known Happy a long time, from around the time he'd prospected. They'd both prospected within the same twelve months and were often shoved in the ring together for their brothers entertainment. It was where he'd gotten to know Happy the best, gotten to know that the killer reputation was no lie. Where most people had an Achilles heel, Happy had none. Well he hadn't then. Now though, now was a different story.

Three years ago when news had come that his best friend was going away for murder he'd been tempted to go up to Tacoma and sort the issue out himself, he owed Happy after all. But Clay had stopped him. Told him that Tacoma was Blues problem, that Happy had a month to sort out the witness issue and then the Killer would be fine. And when he'd heard that his brother had only gotten three years he'd breathed a sigh of relief and been thankful that Happy had enough self preservation to take out the witness, a girl he knew of as Asher Hayden.

But, three years later, here he was in Los Angeles, waiting for some guy to show his face so Happy could smack it in. All over some gash.

"It's taking too fucking long." Happy muttered. Something was up, Happys instincts were so good, Tig would put a lottery ticket on them.

"I'll do the block, keep an eye out for anything shady." Tig suggested and Happy nodded, standing up.

"Yeah, I'm gunna go see her." Tig shook his head and smiled.

Happy Lowman was all twisted up over some broad. It was a sight to behold.

* * *

><p>Asher managed to scramble to her feet and back towards the bed as Ainsley approached her. He looked different to when she'd known him as her lacrosse coach. Dressed in jeans and a black hoodie, his hair slicked back, he looked like the kind of person you would try to avoid. And Asher had tried for three years.<p>

"What do you want?" She shouted as she backed up, hoping to get to the Berretta under her bed.

"Your little pea shooter is gone, Princess." Ainsley said, not moving from his spot near the counter. Too close to her bag for Ashers liking.

"What?"

"I came by a week ago and got rid of it. Imagine if it had gone off. Someone could of gotten hurt." He leered and Asher swallowed a lump in her throat. "Did you get my letters?" He asked, finally taking a step forward and Asher stepped back, her legs hitting the bed. "I wrote them-"

"On pink paper, I know." Asher finished for him.

"Yeah. Thought you'd appreciate the thought."

"Well I didn't." Asher could feel the adrenaline pumping through her body. She knew what was coming, it was inevitable. There was a reason she'd been locked in that closet all those years ago. Ainsley was back to finish the job. "Bet your friend Reg didn't either."

"Reg is dead." Ainsley spat and Asher nodded.

"I know."

"You always had a smart mouth, Hayden." Asher stepped to the side, around the bed, hoping maybe she could get a run for it, jump over Adams lifeless body and get the hell out of there. "Pity it won't help you this time. Saw your biker- saw him leave this morning. You deserve better than him princess." He stepped forward again, about to reach out for her when Asher heard banging on the door.

"Hey Asher." The familiar gravelly voice sent a small sigh of relief through her body. She went to scream, but Ainsley was too fast, managing to grab her and wrap a hand around her mouth before she could get anything out. She tried to struggle, but stopped when she felt the cold barrel of a gun press to the underside of her chin.

"That another of your boys?" Ainsley growled and Asher smirked behind his hand causing him to lift it slightly.

"Go to hell." She hissed before the door was kicked in and Happy stormed in, gun aimed at Ainsley.

"Put it down!" Ainsley yelled and Happy kicked the door shut, glowering at the man, giving him a look that would make any normal person shrivel up and die. Asher felt Ainsleys hand clamp down on her mouth again, the gun digging into her neck. "Put it down or I swear to god I will put a bullet in her pretty head."

"You really want to test me?" Happy growled and stepped forward, gun still pointed at Ainsley.

"You really want to test _me_?" Ainsley said back, "I'm the one with the gun to _her_ head." His hand slipped from Ashers mouth down her neck and she heard him hiss into her ear. "Come on princess, beg for your life." Asher looked up at Happy, her eyes pleading before she spoke.

"Do it. Shoot him." She felt his fingers wrap tightly around her neck, positioning her right in front of him. "Kill him, Happy." She begged. She was past caring about her own life. This man had helped Sarah get raped, had tormented her for years and reduced Happy to the point where he was worried about her. He deserved nothing better than to die, even if it meant sacrificing herself.

"Shut up." Ainsley growled, pressing the gun harder under Ashers chin. "Put the gun down. I know you don't want me to kill her." He teased and Asher watched in horror as Happy nodded and put his gun down on the ground and kicked it away. Asher felt Ainsleys grip loosen slightly, but before she could do anything, Happy moved, quick like a panther, launching himself at Ainsley. Asher was released and she sprinted across the room to the kitchen bench, scrambling for the gun as Happy and Ainsley rolled around on the ground. They were both the same size, but where Ainsley had bulk, Happy had speed, but it didn't help him when Ainsley managed to punch him in the face with a meaty fist causing Asher to pick up the gun and aim it at him.

"Stop!" She shouted, watching Happy, dazed from the blow try to focus, but Ainsley was reaching for his discarded gun, clambering off Happy to stand up straight, aiming the gun at Asher. Without thinking and praying that Happy stayed down, Asher started pulling the trigger, forcing her eyes to stay open with each bang.

Happys vision cleared in time for him to hear the sound of gunshots and he saw Ainsley standing above him, gun pointed in the direction of the front door. Suddenly registering that it was Ainsley that was pulling the trigger Happy went to stand up and stop him when the gym coach fell to the floor beside him.

What the fuck?

Looking down at the body prone beside him he saw the bullet wound in the mans chest, several holes in the wall behind him.

"Holy shit." He gasped when he realised Asher had killed him.

"Is he dead?" He heard Asher ask and he nodded, crawling up to his feet and looking down at the body.

"Yeah baby he's dead."

"Hap?" Her voice was weak, like the time in the room behind the bar, when she had realised what had happened to Sarah. He felt a clench in his stomach as he turned around slowly to see her standing near the kitchen bench. The first thought was _Thank god she's standing._ Then he saw her drop the gun on the ground, his eyes going to her hands which were placed over her stomach.

His legs started to move just as he saw the blood seep over her fingers, staining her t-shirt. But he was too slow, in slow motion her legs gave out and she went crashing to the floor.

"Asher!"

* * *

><p>AN: I really need to stop these cliffhangers don't I? Oops. Thank you all those who reviewed! It means a lot. x


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen – No Light, No Light <strong>

_You are the night time fear  
>You are the morning when it's clear<br>When it's over you'll start  
>You're my head<br>You're my heart  
>No light, no light in your bright blue eyes<br>I never knew daylight could be so violent  
>A revelation in the light of day<br>You can choose what stays  
>And what fades away<br>I would do anything to make you stay  
>It's so easy<br>To sing it to a crowd  
>But it's so hard my love<br>To say it to you out loud  
><em>_**-Florence and the Machine**_

**Los Angeles, CA  
>23<strong>**rd**** June 2001**

"Twenty-one year old female, gunshot wound!" The gurney was rushed forward through the corridors of the hospital. A nurse stopped to turn to the man following behind, a stone cold look on his face as he kept up. "Name?"

"She's crashing!" Another voice yelled and he was distracted.

"What?" He asked, stopping and looking down at the woman as the gurney was pushed through swinging doors and out of sight.

"Her name?"

"Asher." He replied, "Asher Hayden."

"Any ID of hers on you, sir?"

"Do I fuckin' look like I grabbed her purse on the way out?" He snapped, stepping past the nurse to follow the gurney but the small nurse put a hand on his chest and pushed him with all the force she had.

"Sir, you can't go in there, you'll have to sit and wait." She ordered, pointing to the chairs behind them. Happy growled, put out that this little bitch had enough balls to try to tell him what to do when it came to Asher. "Now." She ordered and he clenched his jaw, turning around and stalking over to the crappy plastic chairs in front of the nurses previously occupied desk.

He sat forward, elbows on his knees and blood on his hands and waited.

He'd been around death most of his life, knew exactly what the slow beating of a pulse and breath meant. But it was Asher, and damn Frank Hayden to hell if he thought he was going to be right.

Happy would not let her die.

* * *

><p>"Are you here for Asher Hayden?" A doctor stepped through the doors hours later and Happy stood up.<p>

"Yeah." He rasped.

"You brought her in?" Happy nodded.

"The police have been notified and will be here soon to ask some questions." The doctor informed him but Happy couldn't give a shit. "Miss Hayden's stable, we gave her a blood transfusion to replace the blood she lost." He inwardly groaned at the amount of blood left on the carpet at her apartment and in the backseat of the blue Jetta. "She should be waking up in the next few hours, but with this kind of trauma I can't guarantee it won't be for a few days." The doctor seemed to size him up, unsure whether he was stupid enough to ask the question. "I would be able to get a better idea if I knew what had happened."

"She got shot." Happy bit out. Stupid fucking nosy doctors bribing him with Ashers health.

"I can see that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Mr-" He paused and looked down at the clipboard in his hands. "I don't seem to have your name here." He muttered and Happy rose his eyebrows.

"Cause I didn't give it."

"Well sir, if you wish to see Miss Hayden, we're going to need your relationship to her." What was he going to say? That he was Ashers protector, the guy that had been charged with her care three years ago, or maybe that he was her older, boyfriend, that owned a shitload of guns. Neither seemed optional and besides, he wasn't hanging around.

"I don't wanna see her." And he turned his back on the doctor and walked out, ignoring every fibre in his body telling him to turn around.

On the way out, he held the door open for an older woman with sleek dark grey hair and her son by the look of it. He couldn't help but think that the son looked familiar, but he couldn't get a good enough look, and didn't really give a shit. Once they were clear, he walked out into the carpark where Tig was sitting out the front of the hospital waiting for him, leaning against the Blue Jetta. His brother had found him clutching the girl to his chest in the apartment a few hours earlier and managed to find the car keys and after several attempts find the right car.

"She-"

"She's alive. We gotta get back to Charming." Tig nodded, stubbing out the cigarette he'd dropped on the ground with the toe of his boot and looking back up at his brother.

"I can explain this shit if you wanna stay."

"We gotta go."

"You know I understand it." Happy paused from his departure and turned back to face his brother.

"You understand what?" He sneered.

"You spent three years in jail thinking about one chick for three years, I understand." Tig reassured him and Happy felt like putting his best friend through a fucking wall.

He didn't know shit about him and Asher.

* * *

><p><strong>Los Angeles, CA<br>25****th**** June 2001**

Asher opened her eyes slowly. The edges of her vision were fuzzy as she stared at the white ceiling.

"Welcome back." Turning her head slowly, licking her dry lips she saw Maddie sitting beside her.

"Madster?" She croaked. "What happened?"

"You were shot sweetheart." A gruffer voice said and Asher saw her Uncle Asher step into her view.

"Oh."

"You remember?" Her uncle asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, Uncle AJ." Vaguely she remembered the struggle with Happy and Ainsley, picking up the gun and pain, so much pain.

"Happy." Where the hell was Happy?

"What?" Maddie asked, leaning forward to cup her cheek and Asher could feel it getting fuzzy again, she was thirsty, but she was tired too.

"Hap."

* * *

><p><strong>Los Angeles, CA<br>26****th**** June 2001**

"You realise this is the third time you've cheated death." Spanners voice was familiar and Asher smiled as she lay there with her eyes closed.

"Third?" she felt him start, and opened her eyes to look at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." She croaked.

"Here." She felt a straw pressed to her lips so she lifted her head and opened her mouth, sucking the cool liquid into her mouth before dropping back on the pillows and looking around the white room. She was in hospital. "You've been out three days."

"Shit." She sighed, no wonder she felt so deflated and groggy. "Happy?" She turned her head to look at Pete again.

"He went back to Charming. I came as soon as I could." Asher nodded. Of course Happy had gone back to Charming. He had things to do- just because he'd hung around to take care of Ainsley didn't mean he was going to sit by her bedside. Besides he had club obligations, and they always came first.

"You didn't have to come." She muttered and felt his large warm hand wrap around her own.

"That's what friends do." He said softly and Asher felt horrible.

"Pete…" she sighed but movement at the doorway made Spanner look up and nod, giving Asher a reassuring look before leaving her. She didn't have the energy to turn her head and see who her visitor was, so she just lay there and waited for them to come and sit beside her.

"Hey." It hurt to smile but she did it anyway.

"Lookin' for a booty call Killer?" She asked, coughing slightly and lifting her IV covered hand to cover her mouth.

"Jesus you're a fucking horny bitch." He almost laughed and she closed her eyes, feeling the tiredness coming over her again.

"Hap?"

"What?"

"It hurts." She confessed, sighing and letting sleep overcome her as the words floated over her.

"I know, Asher."

* * *

><p>He should have left for good three days ago , but he hadn't. He'd gotten to Charming and sent Spanner back to the city before dealing with the shipment of guns coming through the Irish. It wasn't until that morning that he'd sat on the picnic bench in front of Tacoma Auto watching the sun come up and something made him realise he had better places to be.<p>

He was fucking kidding himself thinking he could walk away from Asher. It had taken a jail sentence for him to do it last time and even then...Tig had been right. You sit in a six by eight cell for three years only thinking about one girl, whether you saved her life or not, that shit was going to be permanent. He hadn't had the luxury of remembering the last girl he'd fucked before he went inside, instead he was left with the image of Asher Hayden, all eighteen years of her standing in front of him in her dark driveway biting her lip after he'd branded her for life.

He'd been on his way to LA an hour later.

The nurse had been a different one from the day he'd been in there but she still gave him a look that said she knew more than she should. He couldn't stand that look. The look that the lady at the diner had given them days before. The look that said he was too dangerous for her. Too old even. And three years ago he would have agreed with them, but Asher was strong enough to handle him, she didn't pout when he left or beg him to pay her more attention, she knew him, like he knew her.

Watching her now as she slept he felt the strangest sensation of calm. He'd had stillness in many moments, but this was calm, knowing that the worst was over, that there was only the quiet in the near future. That's what had kept him sitting in the chair beside her bed after her confession. Finally there was just calm.

The thought had come to him whilst watching the sun come up. He remembered Sarah Stevensons words the first time he'd seen her this year.

_She left because of you. _

It wasn't a "you made her leave" it was "because of you". There was a difference he'd realised. And almost losing her had proved that. Asher had admitted that it was because of him that she'd taken off. Not the club. She feared for her life in Tacoma and he had made it safe. For the first time, he made something safe, not dangerous.

Asher shifted in her sleep and said something before the word became clearer and he had to smile. There was no way in hell she was staying in Los Angeles.

* * *

><p>The next time Asher woke a nurse was checking her fluids and smiled.<p>

"You've got a lot of people itching to see you." She said cheerily and Asher smiled slightly, wondering if she'd be that happy as a nurse briefly before the nurse waved some people in and she looked up to see two women in suits walk in.

"Miss Hayden, I'm Detective Gale and this is Detective Fitzgerald. We're with the LAPD." A warm hand enclosed her hand and Asher hadn't realised her grandmother had entered the room. "We'd like to ask you a few questions about your shooting."

"Huh?"

"Well so far all we know is what the hospital staff told us. That you were brought in by a man that didn't leave his name." _Happy._ "Can you tell us anything, do you remember where you were?"

"Yeah, uh ." She looked over at her grandmother who squeezed her hand tightly. It seemed they hadn't been to her apartment or if they had, the mess had been cleaned up. As soon as the thought occurred to her, she knew the answer. Of course it was cleaned up, the Sons had a way of cleaning up messes. "I went out to get coffee and I guess someone jumped me."

"You were mugged?" Asher nodded, mugging sounded good, safe.

"And he took your bag and shot you?"

"I guess so, I don't really remember." She lied. "I would have only had cash in my pocket."

"Miss Hayden, if you'd like your grandmother to leave the room…" One of the detectives suggested and Asher furrowed her brow, now she was confused.

"No, Madsters fine."

"Miss Hayden, can I call you Asher?" She nodded. "You've got a lot of bruising to your thighs and buttocks, there's a lot of evidence pointing to very rough sexual intercourse, is it possible you were raped?"

"You're kidding right?" It had been so close.

"The doctors informed me that your grandmother denied them from giving you a rape kit."

"Because she wouldn't appreciate them sticking their noses where it wasn't wanted." Maddie growled. "If Asher was raped, she'd remember."

"Asher-" Detective Gale or Fitzgerald began, she'd forgotten which was which.

"If you really must know every little detail, I had sex that morning. Happy? It was rough and it was great. Is that all?"

"Yeah." One of them said, clearly getting the message that this wasn't going to get them any further and Asher sighed with relief as she felt her grandmothers hand release hers and they left.

"He was here this morning. Sitting here watching you." Maddie said and Asher rolled her head to look at her.

"Who?"

"The Son."

"Pete?" Asher feigned oblivion but knew Maddie was too clever.

"I mean the other one, the older one." Asher sighed and rolled her head to stare at the roof. "He's the one you're lying for. If you won't tell them the truth-"

"I would think that considering the secrets I've kept for you and this family these past few years, you should know better than to threaten me Madster." Asher replied, spinning her head to look at her grandmother. "I could destroy this whole family." She added and saw Maddies jaw clench and unclench.

"You and your mother are peas in a pod my girl." Maddie said, standing up and brushing herself off. "I only said it because I love you, and I couldn't stand to lose you."

"I'm not Molly, Madster."

"I know sweetheart. That's that damn stubborn Hayden blood in your veins." Asher smirked, it was a compliment to her and an insult to her fathers family. Typical Maddie.

* * *

><p>Talking to the cops had worn her out and the next time Asher woke it was dark but she could feel him sitting close by.<p>

"Threatening nurses now?" She asked quietly before she opened her eyes.

"How'd you know it was me?" His gravelly voice asked and Asher sighed.

"I know you." She replied, not really wanting to get into the specifics or stroke his ego. "The cops were here."

"Yeah?"

"I told them I was mugged." She heard a slight chuckle and heard him nod, the leather of his cut rubbing against the threadbare chair with the movement.

"Good girl."

"You're here to tell me you want to drag me back to Tacoma aren't you?" She said after a minute silence and Happy chuckled again.

"Yeah."

"I can't go Hap." Trying to shift, she winced as the pain ripped through her abdomen. "Jesus."

"It hurt?"

"You have no fuckin' idea." Squeezing her eyes shut she rode out the rest of the pain before opening them again and finally falling on his figure, dark and solitary in the small room. "Lucky it missed anything vital but, can still have kids." She didn't know why she said it, but it felt necessary for him to know she wasn't permanently damaged.

"That something you want?" He asked and Asher furrowed her brow.

"Huh?"

"Kids?" She smiled slightly, rolling her head to stare at the roof she shook her head.

"No." It was a reflex answer. An answer from years and years swearing she would not bring a kid into this world after all the shit she'd seen. "I dunno, maybe one day with the right person, when I'm older."

Another bout of silence, then he shifted, standing up and she looked up at him.

"Tacoma." It was one word but it sent a shudder through her.

"Lodi." She replied, counter offer.

"No."

"Sacramento?" There was a good nursing school there, it was where her grandparents lived and not too far from Tacoma.

"Don't fuckin' fight me on this Asher. I will drag your ass back there, dead or alive."

"You and I both know that would be a bad idea." She'd hate him forever if he did, and he'd grow to hate her as she got worse. She knew that much about herself.

Tacoma wasn't her home anymore.

It hadn't been for a long time.

* * *

><p>AN: thank you all so much for the reviews. I felt incredibly guilty for not updating yesterday but I totally rewrote this entire chapter when I was meant to be uploading it. Hope you enjoyed it and if there is a lull in updates it's because I'm meant to be studying for a retest of my Chemistry Exam...thanks x


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty- Way Back Home<strong>

_Do I find you will I follow  
>To forever and a day<br>I can feel you in the distance  
>But you seem so far away<br>What if I just can't find my way back home  
>What about all the things I just don't know<br>What if I just can't find my way back home  
>Would you be there to show me where to go?<br>__**-Bag Raiders**_

**Los Angeles CA**

**19****th**** July 2001 **

The call had been made a week ago. She'd effectively managed to transfer to Sacramento and was awaiting her lift out of Los Angeles.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, all the important things packed in the small bag and the rest in Sacramento with her grandmother, she felt the tug on the scar on her stomach. A constant reminder that she was a survivor and that that part of her life was over.

It had taken awhile for the wound to close, but everyone that had been at the hospital were starting to get restless and she understood, she wanted to get out of there too. Her grandmother had fussed and insisted that she get out of LA, be closer to family. And after what Happy had said, she'd decided that it was the right thing to do.

Both Happy and Spanner had headed back to Tacoma the day after Happys visit, Spanner promising he'd be back and Happy refusing to talk to her because she'd told him that no matter what she was no moving back to Tacoma. She needed a real reason to go back there for good, until then – it was Sacramento. She wasn't sure why he was so pissed off, but she figured it had something to do with his need to protect her.

Slamming the apartment door behind her Asher breathed a sigh of relief.

There had been no word on where Ainsleys body was, or whether anyone knew about what had happened. The only evidence was the unnaturally bleached patch of carpet near the bed frame in the corner. She hadn't heard from Adam, but she was pretty sure he was gone too. Which was probably for the best.

Adjusting her bag on her shoulder she stepped out of the elevator and headed towards the front doors, looking around for Spanners bike. He was meant to be picking her up, and even though she knew she shouldn't have been, she was looking forward to being on the back of a Harley.

It was near midnight and it was the first time she'd ventured out that late by herself in a long time. Unarmed anyway. But the Beretta was gone, so was the stash of cash she'd had in the coffee tin under the bed. Ainsley had really cleaned her out. She couldn't help the shudder at the thought of him, but then reminded herself that he was dead- she'd killed him.

Down in front of the diner she could see the lone figure sitting astride the bike on the curb, waiting for her to approach him as she left the apartment building. He climbed off when she approached.

"You got a jacket or somethin'?" He asked when he saw her rub her bare arms, skipping the greetings completely and Asher stared up at him in shock before registering what he'd said.

"Yeah." Swinging off her bag she unzipped it quickly, pulling out a denim jacket and putting it on. Nervousness swept through her for the first time in a long time as she fumbled with the zip only to have her hands shoved out of the way and large tanned ones took their place, zipping the jacket up quickly, one of his forefingers clipping her chin.

"Hey cheer the fuck up baby girl." He rasped and Asher smiled finally at ease with being here with him. Even if the initial shock of him being there had surprised her. "Where you wanna go?"

"To the moon and back?" She asked coyly and he smirked under the light of the floodlights.

"Baby you're riding the wrong machine." He replied snatching the hem of her jacket and pulling her closer. He was so close she could feel his breath on her lips and she wondered if he felt the same crackling electricity in between the two of them as he stared down at her.

"Cute." She replied, stepping back and biting her lip as she took in the Harley. It had been a long time since she'd been on the back of one of them. "Just get me the fuck outta this town."

Happy tossed her his helmet before swinging on. Putting it on Asher adjusted the strap of her bag across her chest and slid on behind him, propping her feet up on the foot pegs and wrapping her arms around his waist. Revving his bike up, Happy pulled off the curb and flew out into the dark night.

Sometime before dawn Happy pulled up in front of some dodgy motel and left Asher drowsily sitting on the back of the bike before coming back with a key and riding the bike around to the other side of the reception. Somehow Asher made her way inside and took her bag off her body, dropping it heavily on the floor before kicking off her boots and crawling tiredly across the bed and falling on her stomach. She had no idea where Happy was, but she was too tired to care. She just wanted to sleep, just for a little while.

* * *

><p><strong>Bakersfield CA <strong>

**20****th**** July 2001**

When Asher woke up, there was light shining through the drawn blinds and there was something heavy on her chest. Turning her head to the side she felt Happys breath hit her face before she saw his face, inches from hers , his thick arm thrown over her body, along with half his bare torso. His other arm was bent up awkwardly to lie above his head and when she turned her head to the other side she saw the arm draped over her chest ended with his fingers wrapped around a gun, at the ready for any intruders. He wasn't worried about scaring her, he was protecting her.

She lifted his arm slightly to get out from under him but he woke up, mumbling something in her ear as his arm moved around to pull her closer to his body.

"Hap, let me get up." She whispered before he rolled off her so that he was facing away, the hand with the gun buried under the pillow near his head. Free to escape Asher climbed off the bed and picked up her bag, heading for the bathroom. As she rummaged through her bag for her toothbrush she contemplated having a shower before looking out the bathroom window to the see the glittering surface of the hotel pool. Brushing her teeth quickly she pulled out her bikini and a pair of shorts she grabbed a clean white towel from the rack and snuck out of the room, taking the key with her.

Asher turned the page of the book as she lay out in the sun on her stomach on a clean white towel from the motel room. She was enjoying the heat on her skin as she lay there in her bikini and shorts, her legs bent at the knees and swinging back and forth as she read.

Turning another page a shadow was cast over her body and she looked down at the baked concrete at the shadow before she swivelled her head around to look up at the huge figure standing over her, his hands deep in his pockets and his sunglasses covering his face.

"Run out of pay per view?" She asked, holding her place in the book with her thumb and putting it down. Happy ran a hand over his head, she didn't miss the way his hand rubbed at the back of his neck, his muscles sore from riding all night.

"Wanna go for a ride?" He asked and Asher lifted her sunglasses to squint up at him. Instead of questioning his motives she scrambled up and slipped her flip flops on and swung the towel over her shoulder, holding her book to her chest. "What'cha readin'?" he asked, glancing down at her chest.

"Watership Down." She replied and he lifted an eyebrow over his sunglasses.

"The one about the rabbits?" It was her turn to raise her eyebrow as he started off towards their room.

"Hmm." She jogged to keep up with him as they walked through the door. "Where're we going?"

"For a ride." Happy replied watching as Asher pulled on a loose shirt over her shorts and pulled on her boots. She didn't bother questioning him any further just marked her page in the book and stuck it in her handbag and swung it over her shoulder to follow him back out the bike. Once he was on the bike she slid on behind him and took the helmet he handed to her, doing up the buckle and wedging her handbag between the two of them.

Clinging to Happy as he weaved and ducked his way through Bakersfield she couldn't help but wonder how he knew his way around so easily. Her wonder increased when he pulled up in front of a house that actually had a white picket fence and a painted white porch complete with the American flag flapping in the breeze. He killed the engine and Asher took it as her opportunity to slide off the bike and take off the helmet.

Asher knew asking him what was going on was a waste of time so she just waited as he slid off the bike as well and strode up the garden path. Asher was in awe at the beautiful garden filled with colourful flowers that complemented the green grass. It was the kind of house she had imagined raising her own kids in. It was perfect. If Happy noticed her awe he didn't show it, he just stomped up the stairs and pressed the doorbell, turning around to watch her look around.

"You alright?" Her eyes flicked up to him, standing on the porch with his arms crossed across his white t-shirt as he watched her.

"What?" She asked, looking up at him in confusion. She probably looked strange, standing there in her biker boots and short shorts and smudged make-up in the middle of the most amazing garden she'd ever been in. He opened his mouth to say something when the door behind him opened and he spun around to face the grey haired woman in the doorway.

"Hey Ma." He said gruffly and Ashers eyes widened in surprise, quickly jogging up the stairs to stand behind him, figuring if he was bringing her around to his mothers, she should have definitely been more prepared.

"Hap!" The woman stood about the same height as Asher, her grey hair pulled back tightly in a bun, her tanned skin wrinkled only slightly, dimples in her cheeks as she smiled up at her son. "Give your mama a hug boy." Asher bit her lip as the huge man leant down and hugged his mother. "And who's this gorgeous young thing?" The woman said as she leant around Happys broad shoulder.

Happy glanced over his shoulder jerking his head slightly to indicate that she should introduce herself because he wasn't doing it. Hell, introducing the girl he'd carted all the way from Los Angeles to his mother was too much hard work. It meant that she meant something.

"I'm Asher." She said, stepping forward and holding out her hand.

"Nora, honey." The woman said, shaking Ashers hand and eyeing her warily. "How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-one ma'am."

"Bit young isn't she Hap?" Nora said, stepping back and looking up at her son, eyebrows risen.

"You going to invite us in Ma?" Happy replied, ignoring his mother and Nora stepped back to let Happy and Asher in, keeping a wary eye on Asher the entire time.

"Thanks." Asher said quietly as she followed Happy into the house. He knew his way around and led her straight to the kitchen which opened out onto another huge porch and a large grassed backyard. She didn't even realise she was walking towards the glass doors, admiring the beautiful backyard complete with flowers and an old gazebo, until a large hand wrapped around her arm and gently tugged her back to reality.

He didn't say anything, didn't even give her a funny look, just touched her to remind her that she was in the presence of people and spacing out wasn't a good idea.

"Asher? That's an unusual name." Nora said as she moved around the kitchen and Asher came to stand beside Happy, digging her hands deep in her short pockets, wishing the woman would stop looking at her with such a condescending glare. Just because she didn't have a mother didn't mean she didn't know how they worked. Just because Lizzie Stevenson had trusted her completely, didn't mean that other women did, especially around their sons.

"It was my grandfathers name." Asher replied quietly.

"Interesting." Nora replied. "Would you like something to drink _Asher_?"

"No thank-you." Asher practically whispered. She didn't know what Happy had expected.

"What about you?" Nora said, turning her pointed brown eyed gaze on her son.

"I'll have a beer." Nora paused like she wanted to say something but thought better of it instead going to the fridge and pulling out a beer and placing it in front of her son, glaring at him the entire time. Asher suddenly felt incredibly awkward.

"Um, would I be able to use your bathroom?" She asked quietly and Nora turned her pointed glare at Asher.

"Down the hall, second on your left." Asher nodded her thanks and got out of there as quickly as she could, pausing to take a deep breath as soon as she was out of eyesight.

"What're you doing boy?" Nora snapped.

"Drinkin' a beer." Happy retorted and Asher couldn't help but notice he sounded like a teenager, a gravelly voiced, sexy teenager.

"I mean with that jailbait."

"She ain't jailbait, Ma." Happy sighed and she could imagine the heated look that mother and son were sharing. Quickly scampering down the hall she found the bathroom before coming back, stopping in the same spot to check it was safe out there.

"That girl probably has family worried about her. Her mother must be stressing out." Now was the time to nip this in the bud and get the hell out of there, Asher decided. Happy should have known better than to bring her into his mothers house.

"I'm going to go." She said, her tone indicating that she had heard everything.

"No you're not." Happy growled and Asher shook her head, not fazed by the deathly look he was giving her.

"I'm sorry for intruding on you like this ma'am." She said directing at Nora. "It was nice to meet the person that raised Hap. An honour really and I wish I had a mother that had cared about me as much as you do about him." Turning her attention back to Happy, she smiled slightly, "I'm going to go for a walk, catch up with your mum."

Taking a deep breath she turned on her heel and strode out of the house, trying not to get distracted by the beautiful flowers, or the bike in the driveway. She had to get the hell away from all that perfection, it was crazy.

* * *

><p>AN: yeah it's something a bit different for you! Please review


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty- One – Running Up That Hill <strong>

_You don't wanna hurt me,  
>But see how deep the bullet lies.<br>Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.  
>There's a thunder in our hearts, baby.<br>So much hate for the ones we love?  
>Tell me, we both matter, don't we?<br>__**- Placebo**_

**Bakersfield CA **

**20th July 2001 **

"Stroppy little bitch that one." Nora commented as she lit up a cigarette when the front door slammed. Happy sighed, leaning heavily against the kitchen bench with his head dropped down. Bringing her here had been a bad idea. He wasn't even sure why he'd done it. Bring some kid into his mothers house like she had some kind of claim on him. Shaking his head slowly he retracted the thought.

Asher wasn't some kid.

Asher was important, to him, to the club. That's why he'd brought her there- it wasn't about showing off his mother who he loved dearly. No. It was about showing _her _off to his mother. Show his mother that he was capable of having something good in his life. After years of her head shaking and disapproval, over the club, his antics. Everything. He finally felt like he had something to be proud of.

"Don't talk trash about her Ma. You don't know her."

"And you do?" Nora asked, exhaling smoke from her thin lips.

"Better than most." He admitted. He pretended not to notice things about Asher, like the way she was so mesmerised by his mothers house, how she'd looked up at Nora with awe. Her words before.

_I wish I had a mother that had cared about me as much as you do about him._

"Why did you bring her here? You thought I would accept her?" Nora asked and Happy shrugged. He didn't know what he expected of this trip. But he knew what he hadn't expected and that was Asher walking out.

"You don't really have a choice Ma. You have to accept her. I ain't bringing no other bitch around here." He snapped and his mother rose her eyebrows, tapping the ash off her cigarette.

"She's twenty-one."

"So what? You had me when you were eighteen." He barked, feeling his fingers dig into the laminex of the kitchen bench.

"You knocked her up?"

"No."

"Then why is she here Happy?" His mother growled.

"She's the reason I'm standing here."

"If this is one of those 'I've found my way' bullshit stories…" Nora started and Happy shook his head sadly, wondering why he'd thought she'd get it.

"Her old man died a few months ago, and before he died he came to see me in the joint." Noras eyebrows rose. "He left me a letter that Asher had wrote saying some shit about what a terrible old man he was."

"Was he?"

"Fuckin' hopeless." He said, finally voicing his thoughts on Frank Hayden. Asher was good people just for the fact that she'd survived and still had faith in men, in him. "But she put in the letter that if the one fatherly thing he ever did he should meet me because I protected her best I could." He ran a frustrated hand over his face. "You need to know her, if you have any respect for me at all Ma, you'll accept her, because I'd still be in jail if it wasn't for her." He admitted. His mother was the only person he would ever tell this to. He wouldn't ever say it to Asher, but she felt right, she made him feel right.

"You love her?" Happy looked up at his mothers watchful gaze. He didn't say anything . He wasn't sure what to say. They shared a bond because of what had happened behind the bar that day and she knew him better than anyone, not that she'd admit it. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" He croaked.

"Scaring her away." Happy smirked slightly. It was hard to scare Asher, and he doubted she was scared. He knew she left because she didn't want to be the one that snapped and yelled at his mother and disappoint him. But his mother didn't know that.

"You'd like her Ma."

"You better go and find her then." Nora sighed. "I'll put some lunch on."

* * *

><p>Asher was sitting on a swing in the deserted park swinging back and forth slowly, the toes of her biker boots dragging on the ground with each swing. She still couldn't believe Happy had taken her to meet his mother.<p>

It was hardly like she would have expected if she'd actually known she was going to meet his mother. From the way Happy acted she would have figured maybe a worse neighbourhood, a mother with some kind of attitude problem and possibly a ramshackle house. Instead she'd discovered that the Tacoma Killer was a product of the American Dream. It kind of unnerved her that he could come from such a stable environment and still be the way he was. Ruthless and dangerous.

Well…dangerous. He wasn't as ruthless as he made out. Otherwise she wouldn't be in Bakersfield with him. She certainly wouldn't be meeting his mother. A mother that cared so much for her son she hadn't had any problem with questioning Ashers motives. Instead of being offended and angered by the older woman Asher had more respect for her.

"You new here?" Asher turned her head to see a guy about her age looking down at her, his black hair slicked down to his shoulders, cold grey eyes watching her from underneath it as he lit a cigarette. His all black attire and military boots screamed emo rebellion. She wondered briefly if that's what she looked like to others because it seemed she attracted a type. Collie, Adam, this guy.

"Passing through."

"You visiting someone?" He was nearly as nosy as Kozik. Turning her glare on him she tried to assess whether she really wanted to talk to this guy.

"Yeah, sorta."

"Where you from?" Asher didn't reply. She didn't know him. She was hardly going to tell this stranger her whole life story. "I said where's your home?"

"Washington State."

"Long way to come." The guy said as he inhaled and Asher bit the inside of her mouth. She hadn't had a cigarette since she'd left Tacoma originally. It was part of her past.

"No kidding." The kid went to open his mouth again but stopped, watching over Ashers shoulder.

Asher didn't need to turn her head to know what he was looking at. She could picture him, all tattoos and intimidation striding towards them, a possessive look she'd only just realised he had for her etched into his face.

"You know this guy?" Adam hissed as Happy approached and Asher glanced over her shoulder.

"Yeah." And just on cue she saw his shadow fall beside her own.

"Can I help you kid?" he barked and Asher shrugged at the look the younger guy gave her before getting up and scampering off, Asher watching after him. "Don't you ignore me like that again." Happy growled and Asher didn't answer him, just looked down at the ground, snuffing it with the toe of her boot. "Asher."

"What?" She asked, looking up at him.

"What the fucks gotten into you?" He asked and she turned back down to her boots.

"I got shot Happy." She said quietly.

"You don't think I fuckin' know that?"

"I think…" She refused to look up at him and see his reaction, "you were wrong."

"What?"

"You told me I should hate my father for what he did, but how can you say that when you're a fucking boy scout that lives in a nice home with a mother that loves you?" She swung slightly and felt Happy jerk the chains on the swing to a stop.

"Your old man's dead Asher." He snapped, jerking the chain until she looked up at him. "And you took off. Looks you didn't give a shit then."

"I ran away because I had to. I gave up everything that I had looked forward to for your stupid inconsiderate ass." She jumped to her feet and whirled around to face him not afraid of him when he glowered at her. "You made me this person remember?"

"You control your own actions Asher."

"Is that some kind of Club bullshit? Because it's a lie!" She practically screamed, hitting his chest. He just took it, didn't fight back, and she knew he knew deep down she was right. "I don't know what you want from me anymore Happy."

"You want to stop hitting me, bitch." He growled and she hit his chest again for good measure, only to have her wrist grabbed roughly and he yanked her forward so their chests were touching. She waited for him to say something, but he didn't. Before she had time to react he'd let go of her wrist and fisted his hand in her hair, pulling her up to him as his lips descended on hers.

Unlike the time they'd slept together in her apartment, he was gentle or as gentle as he could be. His lips forced hers open and Asher fisted her hands in his cut, letting him deepen the kiss, his fingers tugging painfully at her hair.

When he pulled away she released his cut and felt his fingers slip from her hair.

"Lets get one thing straight – you and me, girl." He said, pointing a finger at her. "You ain't no club bitch. You ever let a member walk all over you I will kill you myself. Got it?"

Asher nodded mutely. Talk about mixed signals. But something told her that him telling her this was more important than anything. Not many club women were as bold as Bella, and even she bowed down to Lorca, but Happy was insisting that she never allow herself to become that controlled woman that many of them became.

"Ma's cooked lunch." He said after she'd processed the words, cutting off any attempt she planned to make about finding out what he meant.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>He knew she'd come asking questions, but he pushed the thought back as she walked by his side back to his mothers. He had to put it off as long as possible. Questions led to answers he didn't want to give and truths he knew he wouldn't hide from her about her fathers death, where Ainsley had ended up or what happened to Adam, the sometimes boyfriend. In some ways his mother was right, Asher was still a kid in his mind when it came to protecting her. She'd seen enough horrible shit in her life to have to deal with the deck that the world kept handing her. Her fathers death was easy enough to avoid, she didn't like talking about him and he knew she was smart enough to hold off asking where Ainsley had ended up. But Adam, he wasn't sure how deep she felt about him.<p>

When he'd gotten back to the hospital the kid had left the spot where he'd been left in the hallway and it had taken a couple of bucks to the landlord to find his apartment. It was the jealous streak in him that had led to Adams death, along with the knowledge that the stupid fuck had allowed her to be exposed to Ainsley.

As he'd begged for his life, Happy had scoffed and shaken his head.

"This is your fault." He'd muttered before emptying the rest of his magazine into the kid so that he fell and landed on top of Ainsley in the shallow grave.

But those were all questions he could have answered truthfully.

What was he going to say when she finally asked him what he meant in the park? He shouldn't have said it, but watching her stand up for herself had reminded him of the girl she'd been three years ago. And all the crazy urges he'd had back then had taken over. He never kissed girls just to kiss them. Asher was the first in a long time, but as she pulled him closer and made that contented sound, he couldn't fucking help himself. Watching her fighting spirit, the fire in her eyes shrivel under the weight of being an old lady would hurt her and he couldn't have that, especially if it was at his own hands.

But he couldn't help but think, leaving her in Sacramento was a mistake as he watched her laugh and talk to his mother over lunch. Turned out, his mother actually liked her.

* * *

><p><strong>Sacramento CA<br>21****st**** July 2001**

Stepping onto the driveway of her grandmothers house the next day Asher looked up at Happy who had been quiet since the day before. It wasn't out of the ordinary, but as soon as they'd left his mothers, she'd been dropped off at the motel and he'd gone. She didn't bother waiting up for him. Whatever was bothering him would bother him until he fixed it, there was nothing she could do besides piss him off even more than she already had. And it appeared he thought drinking would solve his problems because he'd stumbled into the room later that night and passed out on the bed, clothes and boots on. Unable to move quick enough, Asher had spent the night sleeping under his arm which tightened around her everytime she tried to shift.

Then at six he'd woken her up and they'd climbed onto the bike and headed towards Sacramento.

"Thanks for the lift." She said after a minute of silence, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. He just nodded and Asher reasoned that he was tired and hungover. "Fine, see you later Happy." She turned her back on him before she heard the reluctant sigh.

"Asher." He sighed and she turned around slowly to face him realising that she was still right in front of him. "Stay out of trouble for fucks sake."

"Can't make any promises." She replied and Happy nodded slightly before reaching out and snagging the waistband of her jeans and pulling her towards him.

"Try."

"Hmm." He jerked her jeans again and she almost fell into his lap, having to brace herself on his arm.

"I mean it baby girl." Then he pushed her away and started the bike, not bothering to take his helmet from the handlebars and pulling off the curb, leaving her standing there watching him.

* * *

><p>AN: Wow can't believe I got such a good response about Happys decision to take Asher to his mothers. Thank you all so much! It means the world that you all reviewed. Anyways to **Juliana** who kindly pointed out that it wouldn't take long to get from LA to Bakersfield...sorry about that we use Kilometres in Aus and I always get confused about how long it takes to do so many miles...anyways thanks for the heads up. And to **Abigail **who asked how old Happy was- I think I might have mentioned like once that he was about thirty-two when he first went to jail. So that would make him about thirty-five now. Thank you all so much again and review x


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty – Two – Beauty of Grey <strong>

_This is not  
>A black and white world<br>To be alive the colours must be swirled  
>And I believe<br>maybe today  
>We get to all appreciate<br>The Beauty of Grey  
>-<em>_** Live**_

**Tacoma WA **

**25****th**** December 2001 **

Happy sat at the large table beside Spanner, Kozik on his other side. The table was covered in all that Christmas shit, Turkey, ham, vegetables, everything they could think of. It was nice to spend the holidays with his family, even if it involved having to sit across from Riley Stevenson, fresh back from three years in the army. He'd bailed out before he was deployed to Afghanistan.

He wanted to sneer and tell the kid he was a pussy, but his father had said nothing and Happy had never served so he couldn't talk. But it wasn't just that that grated on Happys nerves. It was the fact that Riley reminded him of Asher.

If he hadn't been thinking enough about Asher. The Feds had been sniffing around, asking questions about Ainsley. Turned out someone had reported him missing and the links between Ainsleys disappearance around the time of Happys arrest and then again on his release had made the Feds put two and two together and come up with more than necessary. If they were so fucking smart they should have figured out what had happened.

"Pete," Happy saw Spanner shift beside him as Lizzie walked out into the dining room. "Is she still coming?" The woman asked hopefully and Spanner shrugged as Happy turned to look at his brother.

"She's full of shit, Asher's not going to turn up." Riley said as he sipped his beer. Happy momentarily forgot that his brother had neglected to mention Asher was coming, as he tried not to leap over the table at the little shit that dared talk shit about Asher. But someone beat him to it.

"She'll be here- I asked her to come." Sarah Stevenson stood at the head of the table, her hands holding a giant bowl of potato salad in front of her and a pale blue eyed glare fixed on her oldest brother.

"Sarie how many times have I told you-" Riley was cut off when Sarah screamed with delight, the whole room turning there gaze back to the little blonde at the kitchen door and the older girl holding the potato salad over her head.

"Merry Christmas!" Asher laughed and Happy had to anchor himself to the table to not walk over to her. It had been four or five months since he'd last seen her on the driveway of her grandmothers house in Sacramento and all the shit that he'd been pushing down when he'd left her resurfaced.

* * *

><p>As with any Son related function, Asher could feel the eyes on her as she hugged Sarah tightly and kissed Liz and Blues cheeks. It had been too long since she'd shared a family meal with them, and it was kind of nice to be home.<p>

Scanning the crowd she caught eyes with Riley who was clicking his jaw like he did when he got frustrated and Kozik smirking at her from his spot in the seat closest to her. Happys black gaze was next and she knew she held it for a bit too long but she couldn't help herself. It was like a magnet.

"Look who decided to show their face!" Large arms wrapped around her waist from behind and lifted her up making Asher squeal before she was dropped again, teetering on the heels she'd worn for the occasion.

"Pete!" Throwing her arms around her best friend she couldn't help but feel good about the whole thing, even if Riley was glaring at her and things with Happy were unresolved.

"Good to see ya' jailbait." He teased and Asher poked him in the chest at the nickname he'd clearly picked up from Kozik.

"Sit with me?" Sarah asked interrupting any insult she was about to give him as Spanner made his way back to the table.

"That's why I'm here." Asher replied, taking the beer that Blue offered her and went to sit next to Sarah, Thomas on her other side, and the rest of the table filled with Sons and their other halves, each greeting her. Across from her Bella sat, a knowing smile playing on her lips and Asher wondered what had the Old Lady so amused. To answer her question, Bella jerked her head down the table and Asher looked down to see Riley still watching her, a little too intently for her liking.

Refraining from saying anything, Asher put her head down and started talking to  
>Sarah.<p>

* * *

><p>"I just don't get it." Asher was leaning against the porch railing of the Stevensons house, staring out at the house next door, her old house after dinner. There was someone living there now, the lights in her old bedroom glowed and the faint sound of music could be heard coming from it. She hoped that whoever was there now had better memories of that house than she did.<p>

"What?" She asked, turning to face Riley who took that as his opportunity to stand next to her.

"You abandoned her for three years, and she didn't say a word to anyone, then you appear and suddenly she's talking again." He said looking down at Asher who shrugged knowing he was talking about his little sister.

"I didn't abandon her."

"You took off without warning and left her to deal with everything alone." Riley accused and Asher scoffed.

"And you didn't? You left too remember? At least I kept in contact with her – she always knew where I was." Asher said, standing her ground and glaring up at him. He hadn't changed a bit – he was still as arrogant as ever. "You're a fucking hypocrite."

"And you're a whore." Riley snapped.

"Guess things haven't changed." She replied, "And for your information, I came back because your mother asked me too. She begged you to come back and you never did, so don't you preach to me about abandonment when they're your blood."

"There a problem here?" Asher turned her head to see Happy standing in the door.

"Nah, no problem." Riley said, haughtily and Asher smirked. The army had clearly given him a bit more bravado when it came to guys like Happy.

"Your Old Man wants you." Happy didn't move, just watched as Riley looked back at Asher briefly before having to squeeze himself between the doorframe and Happy to get back inside the house. "Guess your back."

"Yeah," Asher leant against the railing and took him in, standing there in his jeans and boots, the long sleeve tshirt he was wearing defining all the muscles in his arms like it had the day in her apartment. Her eyes caught something above her head as he walked out and stood in front of her.

"I gotta talk to you about Ainsley." He said seriously and Asher smirked. All business with Happy. But right now she didn't want to talk business. She honestly missed him.

"Who the fuck puts mistletoe on the back porch?" She asked, watching as he lifted his head and spied the ornament over the top of them before shaking his head and turning his attention back to her.

"The Feds-" he started but Asher just shook her head, holding her hand up to silence him. And for some reason he stopped talking.

"Can we for just five minutes pretend you're not a Son that spends his free time running from the cops and I'm just some girl. Lets just be normal people in a normal world." She said quietly, stepping up to him, watching all the muscles in his upper body tense as he watched her with the skill of a hunter.

"What're you doin' girl?"

"Pretending." She said quietly, leaning up on her tip toes to press a kiss to his lips before lowering herself back down. Biting her lip she waited to see whether he would push her away or do what she hoped he would. When he bent his knees she wasn't sure what he was doing until he wrapped his hands around her thighs, the flowing skirt of her blue dress being pushed up as he lifted her up and propped her on the railing of the porch, his hands holding her in place.

"This normal enough for you?" He growled as his lips descended on hers and Asher wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as she opened her mouth to him, enjoying the taste of smoke and whiskey on his tongue. When he pulled back she whimpered involuntarily causing him to chuckle.

"I like normal." She sighed opening her eyes to look up at him. "I'm going to get me some of this mistletoe and hang it in my doorway." She teased, loving the way his lip twitched as he fought a smile.

"Hooker." He muttered and she shrugged.

"So?" The question seemed to remind him that he wasn't meant to be in this position with her and he stepped back but she stopped him.

"We gotta talk about Ainsley-" She shook her head again and tugged at his shirt. She knew she was pushing the boundaries acting like this, but damn it to hell if she didn't want to make this Christmas as perfect as she could.

"I'm here until the New year. We'll talk about it. Just-" She sighed, tugging his shirt again and he stepped forward into her but she stopped him with her hand. "Wait- I forgot your present."

"What?" He seemed a bit put out by this but Asher eased herself off the railing and stepped around him, heading towards the door just as Kozik appeared in it.

"JB." He nodded and Asher ignored him, continuing to walk into the house in search of her handbag.

* * *

><p>He'd had every intention of telling her that the Feds would be asking her questions about Ainsley, but then out of the left field she'd kissed him. All thoughts of Feds and murder and shit…any relevant thoughts were pushed out of his mind when she pulled a move on him. He had promised himself when he'd seen her that what had happened in LA stayed in LA. The thing between the two of them, whatever the fuck it was, was too complicated to bring back home, especially with Riley and Spanner and the Club. Getting his ass kicked by his president wasn't something he was willing to endure over a bit of tail.<p>

But her in her bright blue dress, and those heels, he'd never seen her in heels, watching him from her bright blue eyes, with their smudged black makeup had totally fucked him over. And he lost all ability to say no to her. Ass kicking or no ass kicking.

"Just like old times." Kozik laughed as he stepped out of the house and offered a beer to Happy.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about." Happy muttered, taking a long sip and leaning against the railing.

"You have everyone else fooled, brother, but I know somethin' happened in LA."

"Yeah, Ainsley got dead." Happy replied and inwardly growled at the shit eating grin on his brothers face. He understood why Kozik and Tig had once been such good friends- they were both similar. But unlike Tig, Kozik knew too much information for his own good. "Pity you weren't there, Tigger was."

"Tiggy is old news." Kozik laughed, shaking a cigarette out of his packet and sticking it in his mouth. He lit it as he leant against the railing beside Happy, watching through the open door as Sarah and Asher walked from the kitchen to the dining room carrying plates of dessert, talking like old friends. Happy had to admire the respect she had to stay away when Kozik was around. They'd been too close that night in his room, and Kozik had been nosing around since. "She's changed man." Kozik said quietly and Happy glanced over at the blonde, not trying to look questioning. "Different, happy even."

Yeah, he'd noticed it too.

Three years ago, she would never have pulled a move on him like she had not five minutes ago. The hesitation and fear that had been there in Los Angeles was gone and now she was confident and relaxed. _Happy. _

"Desserts up." The little blonde bitch appeared in the doorway after another few minutes of silence and Kozik flicked the cigarette butt away, slipping past Asher without so much as a second look while Asher watched Happy remain still.

"Come 'ere." Happy beckoned and heard the scoff of disbelief from her as she stepped out onto the porch, her heels removed and something in her hand. "Watcha' got there baby girl?" He watched her contemplate something before stepping over to the steps and walking down on the lawn of the backyard.

"Come on." Happy glanced around to see if anyone was taking any notice of them before nodding and following her.

* * *

><p>Happy remained silent on the walk down the back of the yard and Asher remembered the times they spent in silence in Tacoma all those years ago. It wasn't awkward like it was with the others, it was just the way things were when you were with Happy. You never had to worry about him needing to make his presence known with sound, you could always feel him. No matter who you were.<p>

Pushing through the trees she came out into a little clearing that had a picnic table in the middle of it. It had been well hidden, part of the original Stevenson house that had been set further from the street then the one that stood now. The trees and shrubs had grown over it in time, often making others forget it was there. The sheltered clearing had made for a great hiding spot growing up.

Walking over to the decaying picnic bench Asher climbed up onto the top and waited for Happy to do the same. When he stopped and just stood there she had to smirk.

"Come on, it's Christmas, humour me."

"I ain't humourin' shit. You gunna kill me or somethin'?" He asked and Asher grinned, biting her bottom lip to stop the full blown smile that was fighting it's way to the surface.

"I think I could take you on." This seemed to make him stiffen and she wasn't sure if it was what she said. "What?"

"You're different."

"Hmm." She shrugged and looked down at her bare feet. She knew openness had never been one of her strong points, but with all the horrible shit behind her, Asher felt a little more relaxed. She wasn't like that with everyone, just people she knew who made it easy. Like Sarah and Spanner, and Happy. One of his large hands grabbed her chin and jerked it up to meet his eyes.

"I ain't sayin' it's a bad thing." She nodded and he let her chin go, as much as she didn't want him too, remembering the piece of paper in her hand.

"Here." She held the paper out to him in the small space between them. He didn't ask any questions, just took it and unfolded it. She nearly knew the words off by heart. These days the first part was completely irrelevant, but the bottom part, the last paragraph was what had saved her that day in her LA apartment. It had been that paragraph that had given Happy the time to find her and kick down the door. "I meant it when I wrote it, and I mean it now." He looked up at her and she smiled slightly. "That day in the apartment when Adam knocked on the door I was on my way to answer it when I saw this." She touched the edge of the unfolded letter. "It took me so long to answer the door because I was reading what I had written about you and thinking that I was glad that you knew."

"If you're gunna start cryin-" Happy warned but Asher just shook her head.

"Don't ruin it Hap." She laughed slightly and he looked back down at the letter, letting her formulate her next words. "If it wasn't for this letter, you might not have made it in time and I probably wouldn't be sitting here." By the set of his jaw and the grip on the letter in his hands she knew he was wanting to say something but was refraining himself. "So thank-you."

He looked up at her then, his brown eyes black and she cocked her head, about to ask him what was wrong when he put the letter down on the table and grabbed her legs, pulling her closer, nearly off the edge of the table his lips on hers in seconds and she had no choice but to go along with the force of his kiss as his tongue pushed it's way into her mouth and melded with hers. When he finally stopped, his breath on her lips and his forehead pressed hard to hers she kept her eyes closed, committing the moment to memory. Opening her eyes would make him feel exposed and uncomfortable about how vulnerable he was being at that moment. A rare occurrence.

"I can't give you shit, Asher."

"I know." She said quietly, gripping onto his shoulders to keep herself balanced. "You've given me enough already."

"This shits too complicated to be brought home."

"I know." She replied quietly. She knew she couldn't be with Happy in Tacoma. She wasn't happy there, and it would upset the club if anything happened. Happy was a killer, not a family man, sure as hell no Old Man. And she wasn't an Old Lady. Deep down she knew that if she stayed there in Tacoma with him, she would ask too much of him, ask him to give up things he couldn't. Pressing her lips to his quickly and pulling back she smiled. "Merry Christmas Happy."

"Yeah, Merry Christmas, Asher."

* * *

><p>AN: Just wanted to give you some good old fashioned holiday goodness...not like I have a big exam in twelve hours or anything =D x


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty – Three – Government Hooker <strong>

_I'm gonna drink my tears tonight  
>I'm gonna drink my tears and cry<br>'Cause I know you love me baby  
>I know you love me baby<em>

_I could be girl_  
><em>Unless you want to be man<em>  
><em>I could be sex<em>  
><em>Unless you want to hold hands<em>  
><em>I could be anything<em>  
><em>I could be everything<em>  
><em>I could be mom<em>  
><em>Unless you want to be dad<em>  
><em>As long as I'm your Hooker<em>  
>-<em><strong>Lady Gaga<strong>_

**Tacoma WA  
>31<strong>**st**** December 2001 **

Sending him on a run was the best thing that Blue could have done for Happy. Two days after Christmas, him, Donut and Kozik had headed north towards the Canadian border. The open road that he hadn't had in the six months since he'd gone to Los Angeles was welcoming, letting him enjoy the steady hum of the engine underneath him and nothing but openness and freedom. Above all- freedom.

Freedom from jail, from the Feds.

From Asher.

But now he was home, and the impending reminder of the blonde he'd left standing in the Stevensons back yard six days ago after not being able to keep his fucking mouth in check. Telling her stupid shit about promises he couldn't make and how they would never work. Like he wanted something with her. The ever present question of how much the little blonde bitch meant to him was looming over his head like a hangover.

He knew that today was Sarahs twelfth birthday, and Asher would be there. At least it would keep her away from the Clubhouse and him.

Koz, Donut and Happy pulled up at a set of traffic lights in the backstreets of Tacoma on the verge of midnight. In the distance they could hear a party raging on, people pouring out into the street. It didn't take a turn of the head for Happy to know his Brothers were grinning at him.

"It's been a long day Hap." Koz said referring to the run they'd just finished. He was right, it had been a long day. "Come on, sweetbutts will be still there when we get back." He added for good measure.

"Couple of hours." Hap warned, knowing staying away from the clubhouse would only last so long. Why not waste some time on some girls and free booze. As soon as the light was green the three of them turned the throttle of their bikes and cruised down the street , pulling in beside a few cars out the front of the brightly lit house. Looked like it was going off.

Smirking at the sight of the scantily clad girls that were pouring out of the place, Happy nodded to his brothers before swinging off his bike. Time to let off a bit of steam.

Waltzing through the doors, they saw all the eyes turn on them. The Sons hardly went out into town parties. Striding through the house in search of drinks, the three of them flirted shamlessly with the hoards of women celebrating New Years that threw themselves at the bikers. Following the sounds of loud rock music Happy weaved himself into the main room. Donut pounced like a lion in prey on the large silver keg, filling up red plastic cups until they overflowed.

Looking around the room there was no doubt that this had originally started as a college party, but now, the house was filled with people all ages, drinking and dancing and smoking, drawn in by the bright lights and loud music. Short skirts and cleavage baring tops were the outfit of choice and the three Sons smiled as they watched on, it was a nice change to the sweetbutts that threw themselves at them.

"Do you have an invite?" A short redhead asked as she sauntered over, her gold glittery top riding high on her tight stomach. The skirt she was wearing was so low it made the hem of the top look closer to her large breasts rather than her hips. She smirked devilishly at Kozik, biting her painted red lip for good measure.

"Sorry darlin' just saw the lights and thought we'd drop by." Donut intercepted the eye fuck fest that was going on between the red head and Kozik.

"Well…I'm not really meant to have strangers in the house." She replied, pouting slightly and shrugged.

"You'll just have to get to know us then won't you sweetheart?" Kozik chuckled and she leaned forward with a seductive look on her face as her hand brushed Koz's cut.

"I can think of one way we can do that." She purred and Koz glanced over at Happy and Donut. So much for a few drinks. Seconds later, Koz was dragged out of the room and towards the staircase.

"Are you guys like members of the Motorcycle club?" Both men had to look down at the young girl, not much older than Asher who was standing in front of them, bright pink lips, twenty-five at the most. She twirled her long brown hair around a thin finger and Happy watched in amusement as the girls eyes went to his bare arms, admiring the ink that stretched across the skin. "Are they real?" She asked and Happy nodded, still smirking at the look of awe on the girls face. "That's freaking hot." She said finally, beaming up at him. "You wanna dance?" she asked after a brief pause and Happy tried not to scoff.

"Sorry sweetheart." He replied and saw her face fall before her eyes turned to Donut and she pouted out her pale pink lips.

"Lets dance." Donut laughed, letting the girl take his hand and drag him towards the cramped space that had become the dancefloor. Happy watched on in amusement as the younger man pulled the young girl into him and grinned like a lunatic. Leaning against the wall and sipping his beer from the crappy plastic cup he surveyed the crowd again, he didn't know a single person here.

"You look like I feel." A voice said from his right and his head snapped around to come face to face with a girl wearing all black, her long black dress hanging from her thin frame and her red hair splashed with streaks of black.

"How's that?" He muttered and she shrugged.

"Like Tacoma just got a whole lot smaller." The girl replied and Happy's brows rose. What the fuck was this chick on about? "Asher Hayden. You're a son, I remember her being friends with a few when we were in High School." Why the fuck couldn't he get away from that little blonde bitch?

"Don't know 'er" He replied gruffly, trying not to think of the girl in question stretched out on her bed, her pale skin clashing with his brown as she writhed underneath him months ago in that shitty apartment in LA.

"How could you not? Heard she slept with like everyone." The girl replied, "Everyone wanted to be just like Asher." Happy tried to hide his amusement. This chick had an axe to grind. "Asher Hayden is so _freaking _perfect."

"You don't sound like one of them." He replied and she shrugged before letting out a defeated sigh.

"Asher is a certain type of person. You either hate her or love her. Speaking of which…" The girl trailed off, her dark eyes flickering over to the bar where someone had turned the music up. Def Leppard was playing- loud enough to drown out the other sounds of the party, but not loud enough to cover up the loud whoosh as someone set the bar alight, it sending a trail of flames along the bench of the three metre bench that the owners had probably paid shitloads for. He had to admit, kids these days could party. The fact only cemented when three girls where vaulted onto the bar, landing with their heavy boots just behind the flames. It was like a cheerleader routine but sexed up as the girls swivelled easily around the burning alcohol on the bar top, beers in hand as they danced.

His eyes landed on the blonde as soon as he saw the short loose dress flare in his direction.

"Hard not to want to be that!" The girl next to him shouted over the music before she strutted off. But Happy didn't notice or care because every second she was on the bar, the harder he was getting. Asher Hayden made the other two girls look pale in comparison with her bold moves and heavy biker boots stomping out the flames as she danced with the others. With girls outside the club he had a firm no more than once rule, but his willpower was wavering, he wanted to break his rules, wanted to break Blues rules and drag the girl out the back and have her against the wall.

Like she could hear his thoughts he saw her turn, her eyes land on him, stopping dead as the flames licked up the sides of her leather boots and her dark rimmed eyes held his own across the crowd. It was the hottest fucking thing he'd experienced in his whole life and wiped all that complicated shit between them out of his mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**31****st**** December 2001**

Asher had not wanted to go out, but after spending the day with Sarah and celebrating her birthday she was ready to unwind. She'd run into her high school friend Tasha when she'd been picking up supplies for Sarahs party and Tasha had begged her to come out, and to bring Riley. Riley and her were on almost civil terms but with Rileys impending acceptance into the club she hardly wanted to hang out with him so had gone alone instead..

She'd been picked up by Tasha and they'd turned up at the party when it was well underway. Not that she minded catching up if it meant tequila shots. And six shots and countless beers later she found herself up on the bar with Tasha, amidst flames and alcohol and leering men of all ages as the beat of Pour Some Sugar On Me blared all around her. She could feel eyes on her all around, but there was something familiar about the ones that caused her to turn and look over to the left of the bar, over the crowd and the noise and stop dead on the man leaning against the wall with his tattooed arms crossed over his chest, looking stoic as usual and fucking hot. It was like he'd read her mind. And suddenly she was very sober.

She could feel the heat around her legs and was thankful she'd found a spot where the flames weren't still burning away on the remaining alcohol because she couldn't move. She was stuck to the spot, watching the man across the room. The _man, _not the boys that had been hanging off her for the past three years but the man who's dark, black eyes were locked with hers, an almost possessive glint to his eyes. The flames weren't helping the hot flush that travelled up her body as her eyes roved over him.

"Fuck this." She said under her breath and leant down to put her hand flat on the bench and jump off the bar. In a few strides she was in front of him, her eyes travelling up his tight body to his face which was now looking down at her. "What're you doing here?" She shouted over the music. She had planned to be smooth and not say a word, remain mysterious, drag him up the stairs and find a spare bedroom. But now she just wanted to know why he was here, why was he making her feel like he was about to rip the head off any guy that came near her. "Happy?"

"Lets go." He ordered and she nodded. Yeah, she could deal with that.

"Where's your bike?" She asked and watched him jerk his head towards the front door. He started to walk out and Asher waited a beat or two before following him. She could see Happy stop near the stairs, his huge figure able to be seen over the tops of the college goers and partiers milling around. Kozik was standing on the steps looking rumpled as Happy said something to him and Koziks eyes left his Brother and she saw them land on her, standing there watching. A knowing smile graced his features before he patted Happy's back and Happy made towards the door again, Asher not too far behind.

When they reached the bike he took his helmet from the handlebars and held it out to her, the look on his face telling her not to argue with him. She took the helmet from his large hands and put it on her head, doing up the strap as he climbed on the bike and started it up. Taking a quick survey of the front yard to see if anyone had seen them Asher hiked up her dress and slid a leg over the back of the bike, shifting until she was pressed up against him. She went to rest her hands on his waist, splaying them along the tight muscle that she knew from experience lay under the cut and the t-shirt. He reached around easily and pulled her arms around his waist, making her slide even closer and her dress higher.

"My grandparents have a cabin out towards the old mill." She ordered, and Happy hit the throttle, the bike pulling out of the park and out into the street, going so fast, Asher had to bury her head into his cut to stop the tear s in her eyes from the wind. When he got to the outer suburbs of town, on the opposite side to the clubhouse, Asher directed him down the left to a little cabin. Asher pointed down the side in between her house and the neighbours which were at least one hundred metres away and he easily parked there, kicked the stand down and slid off, taking the helmet she held out to him. Asher sprang from the bike and walked around the front of the house, able to feel him close behind. Asher pushed the door open and stepped in, only to be swept up into large arms and pressed against the adjacent wall as the door slammed shut behind them. His lips were bearing down on her in seconds and she welcomed it. His tongue parted her lips and Asher let her lips fall open and stuck out her tongue enough to stroke his before he took over and slid his tongue into hers to battle against her own.

Not waiting another second Asher felt his hands on her thighs, sliding up to the lace panties before they lost contact and he leaned down and hooked his hands behind her knees and pulled her up level with him and her legs wrapped around his hips. Once she was supported he pushed her against the wall, his hard on digging into the fabric of her panties and making her moan. One of his hands left her thighs as his lips went to her neck, down to her collarbone and her head fell back, smacking against the wall behind her. His hand slid between them and he pulled his hips away from her wet centre to rub his hand against the crotch of her panties. The whine that threatened at the loss of contact turned into a yelp when his fingers rubbed against the lace between her legs. She could feel her body burning up as his other hand dug into the soft flesh of her thigh.

"Fuck." Happy groaned into her skin and it sent shivers down her spine. Rolling her hips into his hand trying to get more friction Asher pulled his head back to her lips, kissing the taste of smoke and beer from his lips. His hand left her again and she almost pulled back but didn't when she heard the distinctive sound of his belt buckle undoing and she grinned into his mouth.

Happy pulled his lips away from hers and turned his head so Asher wrapped her arms around his neck and waited for him to pull the wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, the chain jingling with the movement before the distinctive sound of foil ripping.

"Pull back a bit darlin'." He ordered and she loosened the grip her legs had on him so that he could roll the condom on swiftly and she chanced a look down, taking a deep breath at the size of him before he pressed up against her. Reaching down, he looped his forefinger in the crotch of her panties and yanked it to the side, a tear being heard through the silent house, over the sound of their panting. She felt him press against her thigh but his lips caught hers and his tongue was invading her mouth again. His fingers dug into her thigh and she had the fleeting notion that it was going to bruise before he lined himself up with her and drove straight in.

Asher gasped as he pushed into her. He was so huge it was hurting slightly as he stretched her. He pulled his lips away and looked down briefly as both his hands gripped her thighs tightly.

"Shit you're tight." He said in his gravelly voice and her mind went hazy as he withdrew halfway and drove into her again. She couldn't even comprehend any words as he started to pick up momentum, pounding into her, harder and harder. She could feel the coil in her belly getting tighter and she had to open her eyes which had fallen shut so that she could see the side of his face as he panted heavily into the bare skin of her shoulder. The muscles in his jaw were twitching as he struggled to hold on. Asher was so close she could feel the ripples of pleasure shooting through her abdomen. She felt her walls start to contract before the orgasm ripped through her. She threw her head back and swore, hitting her head on the wall again. "Fuck." Happy growled as he followed close behind her falling heavily against her, the grip on her thighs slackening slightly, but he still held her up. Asher tried to regain her breath as she leant into him as well, her arms wrapped around his neck.

When breathing was returned to normal, Happys hands let go of her thighs and she slid down to stand on shaky legs. She tugged her dress over her now crotchless panties and looked around the dark living room before looking back up at him. He had done his jeans back up, the belt buckle done up and his eyes holding the same look they had had at the party less than half an hour ago. She got a sweet pang of satisfaction at the look. He wanted to go again, and who the hell was she to object. Jerking her head towards the hall she started to walk, having to do it slowly with the shaky legs she was sporting. She was going to feel it in the morning, but not before she made the most of him.

He followed her closely up the through the dark corridor, not a word said and as soon as she was in her room she shut the blinds and Happy flicked on the light, surveying the space before his dark eyes fell on her again. Asher bit her lip before sauntering to stand in front of him. Reaching up she slid her hands under his cut and slid it off, chucking it towards a chair before she tugged at his shirt but he stilled her hands, engulfing them in his.

When she nodded understanding that he wanted her to stop he let go and reached down to the hem of her dress, ripping it over her head and tossing it away. Asher didn't have time to feel self conscious about the way he was looking at her with the most intense heated gaze she had ever seen. His arm reached around and he used one hand to unclasp her black lace bra and fling it out to the side. Reaching down he wrapped his hands around her thighs again and lifted her up, throwing her onto the tiny double bed and Asher couldn't help but grin as the heels of her boots rested on the edge of the bed, her knees bent and what she hoped was a seductive look on her face. Ripping his shirt over his head, Happy leaned over her and Asher scooted back a bit more so she was resting on the pillows and he took the opportunity to slink his way up her body, his lithe movements allowing time for Asher to watch the muscles flex and bunch under his tattoos.

His breath was on her lips, but his fingers were playing with the strap of already torn flimsy panties. Asher sucked in a harsh breath as his thumb skimmed her thigh. He used his forefingers to tug as the elastic before the sound of ripping fabric left her completely naked except for her boots. Sweeping her hands down his chest and across his shoulders Asher arched up to his body, but he held himself away. Instead using the hand that had torn her panties to delve his fingers into her and make her snap her legs shut around his arm. He chuckled, the breath coming out in little puffs as he started to thrust in and out of her, her legs relaxing immediately and he rewarded her with a kiss on the lips, hot and deep. She could feel herself getting closer and closer by the second. She'd never been like this, panting and begging for someones touch.

Before the feeling completely overtook her, he withdrew his hand and Asher let out a disappointed moan. She couldn't help it, this guy was driving her crazy. They'd already fucked and here she was wanting more. Begging even. His lips left hers and skimmed down her body, leaving gentle nips on the skin, ones she prayed wouldn't mark but the thought left her mind as quickly as it entered when his warm hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs brushing her nipples. Another collection of gasps left her lips as she arched up to him again her fingers pulling his head down to her chest. He obliged before taking one of her nipples in his mouth and sucking hard making her arch up again. His hand travelled back between her legs and began to rub and suck at the same time. Not being able to handle it anymore, wanting him in her, her tugged at his head but instead he sunk his teeth into the flesh under her breast in a silent no-bitch-tells-me-what-to-do before his tongue swept over the bitemark and met her lips again, his fingers sinking into her as he delved his tongue into her mouth. Leaving his head, her hands went to his back where she dug her nails into the tight skin above his jeans and tried to pull him into her. She could feel him hard again and digging into her wetness, the belt buckle digging into the sensitive skin of her thigh. That was all it took before she fumbled with the buckle and let him free from his jeans. She pushed them down his hips, stopping for him to kick his boots off before she pushed them right off and bit her lip at the sight of him.

He retracted his hand from between her legs and Asher used the opportunity to roll over and slide the bedside drawer open and pull out a string of condoms, making him smile slightly.

"Slut." He growled out and she shrugged before taking one from the string and ripping it open with her teeth before rolling it on him slowly. His long fingers splayed on her thigh and he hoisted it over his hip holding her tightly to him by the leg and thrust into her hard enough to make her yelp. He swore under his breath as he waited for her to relax. She was so close it would only take a few strokes before she'd be calling out his name.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**1st January 2002**

Asher rolled over and sat up, her legs hanging over the side of the bed as she looked over her shoulder at Happy who was lying on his back, eyes closed, his chest rising and falling quickly, the red sheets resting on his hips, leaving little hidden. Turning back she stood up and headed towards the front deck to get some fresh air picking up a discarded t-shirt on the way and stepped over the boots that had been pulled off sometime between the first and second round.

Twisting to sit on the old wooden bench she winced, realising her thighs were bruised from where Happy had gripped her tightly. She was going to be so sore, and not just from those bruises. But it had been so worth it. Looking up at the sky, she saw the bright stars sprinkling across the sky and sighed again. She knew she wasn't the kind of girl that thought about the future, pined over one man, she was the kind of girl to climb out of bed and need space after she slept with someone. It was a habit she had a hard time getting rid of. So used to disappointment she needed a minute to regroup remember that this was as good as it gets. But it turned out, all those times she'd been wrong, but that didn't stop her from leaving.

Old habits died hard.

But burning off some of the sexual tension between her and Happy had helped her forget the other things about Happy that she thought about. Like the fact that he admitted he couldn't give her anything, or the way he'd kissed her at the Stevensons. But the pleasant haze that he'd put her in in the last few hours made all that disappear.

There was the sound of footfalls, swivelling her head around she saw Happy leaning against the door, his arms crossed across his chest, jeans slung low on his hips.

"You leaving?" She asked, her first words since they'd left the party.

"Just need my shirt." He replied and she nodded, looking down at the t-shirt that hung down to the tops of her thighs, she stood up and walked past him into the dark house. Without another thought she whipped off the shirt and tossed it to him. He caught it easily, but he wasn't focussed on the shirt, his eyes were glinting in the light from the bedroom as they travelled over her naked body as she stood in front of him. In a few long strides he was right in front of her. "Hot little bitch." He muttered before his lips were on hers again and she was shoving him towards the bedroom, hitting the light as soon as they were inside and kicking the door shut. Happy let her push him back, his hands tightly on her forearms to enforce the message that he was still the controller in this situation, but she didn't care. Something about him made her crazy. She pushed him down on the bed and he fell back, releasing her wrists. Asher jumped up to straddle his hips, running her hands up his torso before they came back down again and gripped the belt buckle. She chanced a look at him and saw him nod from his spot on the pillows. And that was all it took.

He was right, she was such a slut.

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><p>AN: thank you all so much for the reviews! And the well wishes for my exam (I'm pretty sure I failed but I'm not one to care) Hope you enjoyed it- spread the love people - review, please x


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

**_Reviewers- you guys are awesome- thank you so much for your reviews. I thought it was about time that you finally saw what kind of person Asher was away from Happy. So here you go! _**

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty -Four – Cold Hard Bitch <strong>

_Gonna take her home cause she's over romancing  
>Don't wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans alright!<br>Cold hard bitch  
>Just a kiss on the lips<br>And I was on my knees  
>I'm waiting give me<br>Cold hard bitch  
>She was shakin' her hips<br>And I that was all that I need  
><em>_**-Jet**_

**Tacoma WA  
>1<strong>**st**** January 2002**

Happy woke suddenly, like he'd been holding his breath and stared at the ceiling above him trying to remember the night befores events. They all came back in a massive flood and he dropped his head to the side to see the sleeping figure beside him. Her elbows were bent so her arms where under her as she lay on her stomach but he had a full view of the ink on her side.

His ink.

He took his time to inspect the detail, like he hadn't had the chance to the last few times he'd gotten her naked. He could still remember his thoughts from that night. Thinking that he was going to make sure he got the time to run his fingers over the ink and make her swear on her life that she would never let anyone else touch the ink.

But she had.

And he'd learnt long ago that he just had to deal with it. If he'd made that much effort to ink a woman in the past, he would have tied that bitch to the bed if she'd tried to leave him. But with Asher he didn't have a choice. She gave him the chance to walk away a million times, cut all ties with her, but like a whipped pup he always came back. He was a fucking pussy when it came to the little blonde bitch, not that he'd ever admit that shit. But she let him be, didn't question him and in return he knew if he wanted to keep her around, he had to do the same, no matter how badly he wanted to rip every fucker that looked at her, head of.

But last night as he'd seen the ink in the dim light he'd also seen the bright pink scar above her belly button, the torn skin where a bullet had once been lodged. He knew he'd had part to do in saving her life, and somehow that comforted him. Like her words on Christmas night, when she'd thanked him, the scar reminded him that he would always have a part in her life. It kind of eased the pain to his heart, and his ego.

His cell went off from the floor and he leant over the side of the bed and picked up his jeans, pulling the phone out. Sitting up, he pulled his jeans on as he answered.

"Yeah."

"Prez's lookin' for ya. Thought you might like the heads up." Kozik said and Happy nodded.

"Aight." Hanging up, he turned around to look at the blonde still lying in the bed. He thought about waking her up, but decided she probably needed the sleep. He searched for his t-shirt and cut, having to sit on the bed again to pull his boots on. Just as he went to stand up he hit the sheet and it slipped from her back, down to her thighs. His eyes fell on that ass that had him back in bed in seconds the night before, then down her thighs, were a mosaic of purple and black bruises in the shape of his fingers were spread along the pale flesh. He clenched his jaw at the sight of them, pushing himself off the bed and pulling the sheet back up to her back.

Walking away was the best thing.

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><p>Happy pulled into the lot at the garage and parked his bike next to the others. Dropping his helmet on the handlebars he made his way over to the clubhouse, where Koz and Donut were sitting on the picnic bench, smokes and beers in hand.<p>

"Shit Brother." Koz laughed when he saw him. "Just getting back?" Happy didn't answer his question, just tapped a cigarette out of his pack and lit it up. "Yo, Donut, didn't Blue want the bar restocked?" He asked and Donut nodded sheepishly, jumping from the bench, following the orders of his older brother. "So? You and the little lady?" Koz asked as Donut retreated.

"Nothin' ta say Bro." Happy replied, blowing out smoke and lying through his teeth. There was plenty to say. One thing about Asher Hayden was that she definitely had him wanting more. He'd been planning on leaving last night, when he'd found her on the dark deck wearing his shirt.

"That hickey on your neck says otherwise Hap." Koz replied, pointing the nose of his bottle at Happys neck. "Little minx left her calling card. Come on, tell me the little bitch loves a good fucking." He said and Happy opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself.

"Nothin' to tell, man." He replied, and dropped his cigarette on the ground and ground it out with his boot. "Where's Blue?" he said changing the subject.

"Church, was chasin' you for a job, but he's held up with the Old Lady." _Right. _

"I'm gunna crash man." He said without acknowledging the return of Donut and walked back into the clubhouse. He was in need of a lot of sleep before Blue came back. Try to make it look like he hadn't spent the night fucking Asher. Shutting the door and flicking the lock he crawled across his bed and fell face first into the pillows, burying his head in his arm and closing his eyes, letting the smell of Asher Hayden on his t-shirt lull him to sleep.

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><p>Asher had woken up to the sound of Happys phone ringing and felt the bed dip as he moved around. She knew better than to interrupt him, and pretended to sleep as moved around. When the sheet shifted from her back the self conscious part of her wanted to tug it back up to her shoulders, but she resisted the temptation, instead waiting for Happy to leave. But instead she felt him lean on the bed and the sheet was tugged up her back, his fingers skimming her skin.<p>

She was silent until she could hear the sound of his bike starting up and pulling out of the block. It wasn't until she couldn't hear the loud humming of the Harley anymore that she climbed from the bed and staggered towards the shower, everything aching and stinging. The bruises on her skin hurt even more as the water pelted down on them, but the pain she didn't mind. It was the leaving part that bothered her. She was meant to be heading back to Sacramento today, to have dinner with the rest of her family and celebrate the beginning of a new year.

She hadn't really factored sleeping with Happy into that plan.

But she knew, just like she knew that he thought the same thing.

Staying was a bad idea. Not if they were going to keep doing this. Fighting, sleeping together, him leaving. It would never work. And she'd known it all along.

By the time she got back to her room she had a missed call from Liz telling her that Sarah was at the clubhouse if she wanted to say goodbye. Something she wasn't particularly keen on. But she got dressed in jeans, boots and a tank top and cardigan, packed her handbag and got in her Jetta and headed into downtown Tacoma.

* * *

><p>The time between visits to the clubhouse was almost four years, and still it hadn't changed. She hadn't gone there when her father had died or when she'd first gotten back, the reaper on the door was a constant reminder that she had once been thought of a traitor within those walls. And even though all had been revealed about her role in Happys trial, it still felt like the Reaper with the hollow eyes knew something she didn't.<p>

"The first time Lorca brought me here, I remember looking at that fucking thing and thinking 'what the hell have I gotten into?'" The smell of cigarette smoke wafted into Ashers nose and she turned her head to see Bella standing beside her, her arms covered in a black long sleeved pullover, tight jeans showing off her fantastic legs and of course her trademark black boots. Her long hair was pulled over her shoulder in a long sleek straight ponytail, showing off the three letters SOA with the reapers blade slashing through them, spanning from the point where her shoulder met her neck and up towards her ear in black ink. Asher knew that the ink had been done by Happy years and years ago, and Bella wore it loud and proud. She wondered if Bella knew about her similar ink but was distracted as the woman offered her a cigarette.

"No thanks, I quit." She replied, shaking her hand and Bella laughed.

"Asher Hayden, all growed up. What'dya give up spiking your soda too?" Asher smirked, letting the woman know that not all things had changed. Bella dropped her cigarette on the ground and stubbed it out with her toe. "There's only one thing you need to worry about in there, darlin'." She said, gesturing to the reaper clad door. "That little blonde bitch that tried to get Happy ten years." Bella elaborated and Asher rose her eyebrows. This was the first she'd heard of it. "Walk with me, baby." Asher glanced back at the clubhouse, reasoning that Sarah could entertain herself long enough. The heels of her own flat biker boots slapped on the ground as she kept up with the Old Lady.

Down the side of the clubhouse, Bella gestured for Asher to sit at the picnic bench with her. A red head that Asher thought was familiar came past and Bella waved a hand. "Gets us some coffee will you hun? What'dya have Asher? Cream?"

"Black, two sugars." Bella waved the sweetbutt off and turned her attention back to Asher. "This'll send the tongues wagging," Bella lit up another cigarette and Asher watched as the cherry glowed and the woman sucked in a large inhale before blowing out the smoke and looking Asher dead in the eye. "Blues been prepping Lorca for the big take over." She said and Asher furrowed her brow.

"Huh?"

"He's packin' it in as soon as the kid gets cleared into the club." Another inhale. "That means that all the shit that kept the Stevensons looking out for you, has been passed on to me."

"I'm fine, Bella, really, I don't need protecting."

"I know that. You got Happy watching your every move. He takes his place in this club very seriously and even though he doesn't know why you're so important, he was asked to watch out for you so he does." Asher cocked her eyebrow. She knew all this. "I know now and even if you're not an Old Lady, and unless you finally fuck Spanner or take Riley back, I know you ain't ever gunna be one." Asher nodded in understanding. "But, I like you Asher, you got guts girl, and you're as much part of this club as any other Old Lady because of what you've done for us. For Happy." The clubhouse door opened and the redhead walked out carrying two mugs.

"You gunna spit it out or what?" Asher asked, frustrated that Lorcas Old Lady was skirting around whatever she was going to tell her. But Bella didn't answer her and Asher realised she was waiting for the red head to put the coffees down in front of them and disappear.

"Women in this club handle shit themselves. We don't need the men doing our dirty work." Asher had seen Bella deal with the sweetbutts and other Old Ladys when they got a bit too big for their boots. "Mia, she's blonde, turned up a few months before you took off."

"Yeah I remember her." Of course Asher remembered her. She'd been the blonde on her knees in front of Happy in the Stevensons bathroom all that time ago.

"She told the cops you and Happy were sleeping together before the trial. Cops convinced her Happy would get a reduced sentence."

"But it would have gotten him longer." Asher could feel the anger boiling up in her chest. It had been a long time since she'd been that angry at someone. She'd spent most of her time blaming herself for Happy going to jail in the first place, but now…now she knew he could have gone for more all because some little slut thought she was going to get the man in the end.

"Sometimes these little sluts get it in their heads they're more than just sluts."

"You did that to her face?" Asher asked, remembering that she'd had a bruised face when Asher had last seen her.

"I did that for the club. I never told Happy because I _knew _he would kill her. The little bitch is a fuckin' dipshit, but she ain't no rat when it comes to the club. I wouldn't want Hap to have to justify his actions and things start coming out about you and him." Bella tapped ash off the end of her cigarette.

"There was nothing going on with Happy and I."

"You don't need to tell me that darlin', but that little bitch is pushing up on the Killer again, when I know what she's done." Asher smirked.

"You trying to bait me?"

"Is it working?" Bella asked and Asher bit her lip. Yeah it was. She couldn't believe one of the sweetbutts had dobbed her and Happy into the cops. Happy would have become a registered sex offender if they thought anything had happened before she was eighteen. "You have to be the one that reminds that little whore that all it takes is one word and she's dead."

"You want me to hit her?"

"Do you want to?" Bella asked and Asher sipped her coffee.

"It's tempting."

"Just talk to her, if you happen to throw a punch, well…" Asher rose her eyebrow again at the brunette.

"You'd love that wouldn't you?"

"To see Asher Hayden throw a punch? Shit yeah." Asher had to shake her head at the Californian woman. Sometimes like just now, she understood why Lorca loved her so much. She was just as scary as him.

"I'll talk to her."

"Good girl." Asher took a deep breath to calm the anger that she knew was simmering there. It wasn't the kind of anger that people would expect of her. The anger she felt was a possessive one. The kind that wanted to throttle the little bitch to near death. Demand to know what made her think she could threaten her, to threaten _her _man.

She knew it was the Old Lady action that she had sworn she would never succumb to. That need to put sweetbutts in their place. But hitting on someone, and trying to send them to jail for a decade were two different things.

Standing up, Asher walked around the front again and pushed through the front door of the clubhouse without any hesitation. She scanned the almost empty room for the familiar blonde and there she was, restocking the bar, her short denim skirt riding high on her thighs and her cropped tank showing off a few inches of fake tanned back. Something tugged at her mind reminding her of the way the bitch had called her a whore the last time Asher had been there.

Walking around the other side of the bar, Asher stood behind her, waiting for her to realise she was there. The girl jumped when Asher finally spoke her name, spinning around and nearly running into her.

"What do you want?" she asked and Asher smirked, leaning back against the bar, watching the sweetbutt square off at her.

"Do you know who I am?"

"How could I not? You're the rat." Asher rose her eyebrow and shook her head slowly.

"Funny, could say the same about you." The sweetbutt paled under her made up cheeks. Asher stepped forward and snapped her hand around to grab a fistful of hair, causing the girl to almost shriek as she was yanked forward, their faces almost touching. Tightening her grip on the girls hair she got a great satisfaction from the whimper that the girl gave. "This is your first and last warning, _Mia, _you so much as think about Happy again let alone touch him, I will kick your slutty ass all the way back to Orange County, got it?" The girl nodded and Asher wondered if she thought Asher was going to give her a broken nose, because it looked like she'd had surgery on it since the last time Asher had seen her.

"Yeah."

"And if sucking MC cock isn't good enough for you baby, you need to find another career path, because being an Old Lady is not in your future, believe me." The girl winced but nodded again. Letting go of her hair, Asher pushed her away and the girl immediately made a grab to check her weave wasn't damaged.

Going to walk away, Asher paused and turned back and smiled, adrenaline still pumping through her veins.

"Hey." Mia turned around to face her again and Asher swung her arm around and punched the girl in the mouth, right where the damage had been done, originally, splitting her lip. "That's for talkin' trash about me."

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><p><strong>Tacoma WA<br>1****st**** December 2002**

Happy had been coming back from the buying smokes and was parking his bike in the line beside his brothers when he saw the blonde walk out of the clubhouse. It was only a few hours ago that he'd left her alone in bed, sleeping soundly and now she was stalking out of the clubhouse towards the blue Jetta parked in the carpark. His eyes picked up the tiny details – the slight stiffness to her stride, the way she seemed to wince when she lifted her hand to wipe a strand of hair from her face. He was going to let her go, but the determined set of her jaw had him putting down the helmet and walking over to her. This was his moment to fess up about the Feds, tell her she needed to get the hell out of dodge before they linked her to him.

"Hey." She stopped and turned around, the sleeve of her sweater slipping off her shoulder and she adjusted it before looking up at him from under dark aviator sunglasses.

"Oh…hey." She seemed angry about something. "You anglin' for a tip?" She asked when he didn't say anything and Happy shook his head.

"What's got your fuckin' panties in a twist hooker?"

"Nothin'." She replied and went to turn back to the car, but he snapped his large hand around her wrist and jerked her back, angered that she was ignoring him. Any other bitch he would have let go, but Asher knew how to jerk his chain. "What?"

"You flauntin' that bitch attitude inside?" He said, jerking his hand towards the clubhouse.

"The only bitch in there was that little slut that thinks she owns your ass." She jerked her arm away from him and he rose his eyebrows. No slut owned him.

"What'd you just say?"

"Nothin'." Turning on her heel he watched her storm back to the Jetta before stopping and turning back to face him, sighing loudly. "I'm heading back to Cali. I've got dinner with Madster tonight and I'm running late."

"You're leavin'." She nodded and turned back to the car. He thought she was going to get in, but she pulled the door open and rummaged around on the dash before producing a piece of paper and a felt tip pen. He looked around the quiet lot before walking over and standing nearby.

"So you don't need to harass a twelve year old next time you want to find me." She handed over the piece of paper and he saw an address and a phone number scribbled on it. He took it between his two fingers and tucked it into the inside pocket of his cut. "Later Happy."

"Yeah, later."

He stepped back as she got in the Jetta and pulled out of the carpark, and driving straight out of the lot towards the main road.

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><p>Oh no...looks like we'll have to wait until she visits again =D Review please x<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

**As usual if you love it/hate it/want to ask a question - go for gold. Anything that is confusing now will be sorted out next chapter Thanks x**

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-five – Brimful of Asher<strong>

_There's dancing  
>behind movie scenes<br>she's the one that keeps the dream alive  
>Through the morning<br>Past the evening  
>To the end of the life<br>It's a brimful of Asher  
><em>_**- Cornershop**_

**Somewhere over the Washington Border  
>3<strong>**rd**** November 2003**

The car shuddered to a halt and Asher looked down at the blinking light on the dash.

"What the fuck?" She'd filled the car up at the gas station fifty miles back. Looking out the windscreen as the wipers swished back and forth, clearing the water from the windscreen she sighed and banged her head against the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath she straightened and tried to turn the key again, despite the flashing fuel light on the dash. The engine spluttered and the car jerked forward before it stopped again.

_Flooded, just awesome._

Searching through her handbag she pulled her cell out and held the phone up in front of her, the flashing screen informing her she had no service. The rain was pouring down but her choices were limited. She either sat there and waited it out, or she went and called someone. Taking a deep breath she stepped out of the car, locking the door behind her and swinging her bag over her shoulder, she jogged through the rain, remembering there was a gas station and a bar not too far away.

By the time she got to the gas station she was soaked through. Pushing through the doors, the chime of the bell above her head as she stepped in, Asher looked around the deserted gas station. Outside it was almost dark and she could hear her clothes and hair dripping water onto the tiled floor in loud drips.

There was a payphone in the corner and she walked over, thumbing through the phone directory for a tow company when she ended up smacking her head on the Perspex surrounding the phone in stupidity. She was in Washington State, not too far from Tacoma.

There was only one place she could call.

Dialling the number that was imprinted into her head from years of answering phones in the office she waited it out until the familiar click that informed her the call had been diverted through to the clubhouse, thanks to Donut.

"'Lo." A gruff voice came down the line and Asher didn't bother trying to guess who it was.

"I need a tow."

"Plenty of people need a tow darlin' but it ain't business hours." The voice was familiar now.

"Bowie, it's Asher Hayden."

"Oh shit." Ashers brow furrowed in confusion before he seemed to realise what he'd said. "Oh, uh, hey baby girl. Where are you?"

"Um I don't know, I'm in a roadhouse and there's a bar next door."

"I know where ya' are." He said, he seemed distracted and Asher spotted a clerk coming around the aisles. "Look, ah, go into the bar, stay there. I'm gunna send someone to get ya."

"Okay." Asher said and heard the click of Bowie hanging up. Looked like he wasn't up for a chat.

"We're closing up darlin'." The clerk called and Asher nodded to the woman before heading towards the door and around to the bar. Pushing it open she smiled at the sound of Garth Brooks singing about friends in Low Places, it was very appropriate.

"Hey!" She turned her head looking at a guy sitting at a table beside the door. "You passing through?" He was around her age, early twenties, strawberry blonde hair and a huge straight toothed smile.

"Ah, yeah."

"We're having an open mike night- five hundred to the winner." He explained and Asher looked around the crowded bar.

"What's the competition like?"

"Easy money." He said, his huge smile letting her know he was flirting with her, even though she probably looked like a drowned rat. "You want a towel or somethin'?" he gestured to the puddle at her feet and Asher smiled.

"Yeah, that'd be good."

* * *

><p>Happy had his hand resting on his chin as he watched the CCTV in behind the counter of the gas station. He'd been lucky. They'd had a call from the Nomad President saying he'd been going across the border and seen three Mayans heading over the Washington border. Happy and Lorca had been on their way back from Charming and had a bit of time to kill, so had stopped at the local gas station, when they'd gotten the call.<p>

Sitting on his bike Happy had been talking to Taylor when the gas station attendant had come out, telling them to leave or he'd call the police. The old man had said he didn't want anymore trouble from bikers. He'd had enough for one day.

Lorcas patience always lasted a lot longer than Happys and he'd managed to calm the old man down, asking him if he could tell them which way the patches had gone. They didn't need Mayans coming in so close to Tacoma. The old man had insisted he didn't know.

But he had a surveillance camera.

Scratching his three day old stubble Happy tried not to think about his quick trip through Sacramento. It had been his first run to California in a while, but not his first since he'd last seen the little blonde bitch from Tacoma. But he didn't have time, and with Lorca in tow, he knew it wasn't a good idea. A fucking stupid one really. The tape still had a few more hours to go and Lorca lost patience, hitting fast forward on the machine and they watched the screen jump from scene to scene.

"Whoah, go back." Happy said, snapping his finger at the screen and Lorca rewound the tape a little until they saw the three bikes pull into the gas station beside a little car that was sitting at the bowser. Two of the Mayans got off their bikes and walked into the store, but Happys eyes were on the other one. The Mayan, his patch on full display looked around quickly before walking to the back of the small car. He got down on his knees and slid under the car.

Happy and Lorca waited and a minute later the Mayan remerged knife in hand.

"What the fuck?" Lorca said, watching as the other two Mayans exited and all three of them climbed on their bikes and pulled out, heading towards Tacoma. Lorca was about to stop the tape, but Happy held and arm out as the person who owned the car walked out, heading towards the car.

A girl, dressed in jeans and a tank top, long fair hair that was grey on the screen. Blonde most probably in real life. She lifted her arms to stretch before getting in the car and Happy felt his throat constrict at the sight of the ink on her exposed stomach.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ." He hissed as the car pulled out of the pumps, the dark stain of a leaking fuel line following her out.

"What?" Lorca asked and Happy clenched his jaw, about to say something when Lorcas phone went off. Lorca said a few words before hanging up and looking over at Happy. "This who I think it is?"

"Yeah." Happy rasped.

"She just called."

"And?"

"She's alright…for the minute." Happy stormed out of the gas station watching Lorca hand the manager a few notes while he waited on his bike. "You pick her up at the bar down about sixty miles from here. I'll go ahead, check our Mayan problem aren't waiting somewhere."

"You think they're here for her?" Happy asked.

"Nah." Happy knew it was a lie. Mayans coming after Asher was extreme but it wasn't unlikely. The Haydens had clearly pissed someone off. "Just get her home."

* * *

><p><em>If I die young<em>

Happy couldn't believe that he'd been forced into this hick joint. There were cowboy hats and chaps everywhere. Reminded him too much a crappy country song.

_Bury me in satin_

He surveyed the crowd for the familiar head of hair. This was where she'd said she was going to be right? They'd found the blue Jetta on the side of the road about ten miles back, locked, but her duffle sat on the back seat, so Happy had jimmied the door open and grabbed the bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He'd known he wouldn't be able to guarantee it wouldn't get stripped so he checked the car for any other belongings. Opening the glove compartment he had to smile at the gun tucked in there.

Smart bitch.

He'd tucked the nine mil in the back of his jeans and saw the gold chain that was in there as well with a heart shaped locket on it. The locket went into the pocket of his cut and he scanned the car again. Looked like this was just a quick trip.

_Lay me down on a bed of roses_

Most people where focussed on the stage where he could see someone sitting up there on a chair, guitar in hand as they sang, their voice travelling through the entire bar. Where the fuck was she?

_Sink me in the river at dawn _

He was going to get a beer. He was here, she could find him. He needed to find her and get the fuck out of there, but he strode over to the bar and took a seat on one of the stools and waved for a beer. When the cool glass was placed down in front of him he snatched it up, taking a long sip of it as the barman returned to leaning against the bar, talking to a patron, whilst pointing at the person on the stage.

_Send me away with the words of a love song_

"She new?"

"Don't know. Signed up for the open mike night." The barman said to his customer and Happy could see the man nod out of the corner of his eye.

"Better make sure she gets the proper welcome then, eh?" The guy said and raised his beer at the barman before turning his attention back to the stage.

_Oh oh, uh oh  
>Lord make me a rainbow<br>I'll shine down on my mother  
>She'll know I'm safe with you she stands under my colours <em>

Now the whole bar was quiet, the music softly being sung out over the crowd and Happy couldn't help but notice how fucking sad the song was.

_Life ain't always what you think it ought to be  
>Ain't even grey and she's buries her baby<br>The sharp knife of a short life  
>I've had just enough time <em>

He didn't know what made him turn around, maybe the words of the song, maybe the quiet of the crowd, maybe he felt her watching him. But he turned around and saw who the girl on the stage was. He nearly dropped his beer.

_If I die young  
>Bury me in satin<br>Lay me down on a bed of roses  
>Sink me in the river at dawn<br>Send me away with the words of a lovesong  
>the sharp knife of a short life<br>Oh well  
>I've had just enough time<em>

Asher sat on a chair up on the stage, her blonde hair pulled back haphazardly into a high bun, her eyes closed as she strummed the guitar on her lap. He'd never heard her sing, seen her play once or twice, but never heard her voice. Just like everything else about her, it was fucking intense.

She continued to sing, occasionally glancing over at him, a small smile on her face as she sang the last few lines of the song and the small bar let out a loud applause a few whistling and cheering as she handed the guitar back and thanked the person who took it before stepping down the stairs, her boots smacking on each step before she was striding over to the bar.

Before he could get a word out the guy that had made the comment about making her feel welcome, slid in beside her and offered to buy her a drink. He watched with a smirk of satisfaction as she leant over the bar, scanning the patrons for him.

"Where does that pretty little voice come from?" The man said, sidling up to her and Asher shrugged away.

"Don't know." She replied quietly, her eyes focussed on the man getting closer and closer.

"You new here sweetheart?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Just passing through."

"Really?" He leered closer, his hand brushing Ashers arm and she flinched. Happy tried to restrain himself from marching over and smacking the guys head against the table, tapping his fingers on the beer bottle, not taking his eyes of the little blonde who plastered a fake smile on her face and turned her head away from the man.

"Can I get a beer?" She asked the barman and he nodded, not even carding her. When the bottle was in front of her, she rummaged through the pockets of her jeans for her cash. Happy took this as his opportunity to stake his claim. Back this guy the hell off of his girl. Holding up a few folded notes he caught the barmans attention and handed them over.

"For the girl." He said quietly and the barman nodded, not thinking another thing of it. However Ashers new friend didn't appreciate it.

"Get us two tequila shots Hugo." He ordered the barman and smirked at Asher, thinking he'd won her over when she sipped at her beer and scanned the crowd again. "Here you go sweetheart, lets toast." He said, holding up a shot and Asher rose her eyebrows.

"I didn't ask for a drink." She insisted and the guy laughed.

"I ain't asking sweetheart. Come on," That's when he did it. The guy with the receding hairline smacked Asher on the ass before making sure to grab it hard. Asher yelped, jumping backwards and straight into Happys chest.

"There a problem here?" Happy growled out, trying not to punch the douchebag in the face.

"Not at all, man. I got this." The guy said and Asher looked up at him with a pleading look. A _get me the fuck out of here_ kind of look. "Thanks." The guy said before reaching over to take a grab at Asher. "Come on sweetheart, wanna get out of here ?" He tugged once before Happys hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, twisting it until he let go of Ashers arm.

"Looks like she doesn't want to go with you,_ man_." Happy seethed. The asshole had nerve to even lay hands on Asher once, let alone three times and right in front of him.

"She doesn't seem to be complaining." The guy sneered and Asher reached over and took a tequila shot off the bar and threw it in his face.

"That's me complaining asshole." She practically yelled.

"Fucking little bitch." The guy sneered, seeming to forget Happy had his wrist in a vice grip. "Slut." He sneered and Happy saw red. Nobody called Asher a slut, no-one but him. Happy let go of the guys wrist, hearing a sigh of relief from the guy before his fingers wrapped around the back of the guys neck and he slammed his face straight into the bar top before letting go and letting him fall to the ground.

For the second time that night, all eyes were on Asher. Happy reached around and pulled out his wallet, throwing a few notes on the bar before sliding it into his back pocket again.

"No-one touches my girl." He warned before turning to the barman. "For the damage." Then snatching up Asher's arm he dragged her towards the door, planning on getting out of the fucking shithole hick joint as soon as possible.

They were stopped at the doorway as a guy with red hair and freckles called out Ashers name. Happy had to wonder how the hell this punk knew Ashers name.

"What?" he growled at the guy and Asher stepped around him, a small smile on her face.

"Hey." She said quietly to the red head who held out an envelope.

"This is yours. Told you it was easy money." He shrugged and Asher smiled, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the kids cheek.

"Thanks Gary." She said sweetly. The kid turned nearly as red as his hair Happy noticed as he tried not to let his anger get the better of him. Hadn't they heard him at the bar? Asher took his hand quickly though and dragged him out of the bar, only stopping when they were out in the cool night air. The fresh air cleared his mind and he was finally able to focus. That's when he saw the envelope in her hand.

"Whats that?"

"My car just broke down, someones gotta pay damages." She said sweetly and he studied her face in the dim light. Now that the rain had cleared up the moon had come out to shine. She didn't look any older, but she was watching him with a gaze that knew too much. Had seen too much.

"We gotta get out of here." She nodded and followed him over to his bike without saying anything.

And just like that, Asher Hayden walked back into his life after nearly two years.

* * *

><p>*Asher sings "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry<p> 


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

**Reviewers- thank you all so much! In the holiday spirit I thought I'd update. And I guess if I find time tomorrow I will stick another one up for you! Merry Christmas slash Happy Holidays x **

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-six – Stand <strong>

_Mothers weep  
>Children sleep<br>So much violence  
>Ends in silence<br>It's a shame there's no one to blame  
>For all the pain that life brings<br>If you would just take me  
>It might just complete me<br>And together we can make a stand  
><em>_**-Jewel**_

**Tacoma WA  
>3<strong>**rd**** November 2003**

It was all very quiet when they got back to the clubhouse and Asher slid off the bike, her boots slapping on the pavement before Happy was standing in front of her.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" She asked quietly, watching his hard face for some kind of reaction. "Bowie sounded freaked on the phone and something seems…off."

"Inside." He said jerking his hand towards the clubhouse and Asher nodded, letting him follow her over and into the bar. It seemed that every patched member was sitting there waiting when she walked in, all of them going silent at their arrival. Asher scanned the crowd for familiar faces, Kozik, Bowie, Spanner…Riley.

Riley was a patched member?

"You alright, baby girl?" A cut clad chest was in front of her, the word President right in her face and Asher looked up to meet Lorcas eye. Looked like Blue had gotten his wish, Riley patched in, and retirement.

"Fine."

"Anything?" He turned his eyes to Happy and Happy shook his head. "Alright, since you decided to come back, time to have a chat, Asher." He pointed to the chapel and more scared of the members of the club than she had been since Happys trial, she walked over and pushed the doors open.

Quietly, she took a seat where Lorca pointed, to his right and she knew it was Koziks spot but she sat anyway as the rest of the club filed in, most of them not sitting, just standing, arms crossed across their chests and serious looks on their faces. She knew better than to say anything to them in their church she sat quietly until Lorca decided to speak up.

"For those who don't know, Asher here's father was Devils Tribe." There was shuffling from the oblivious members, Riley, Bowie, Donut and others she didn't really know. Probably transfers or Nomads. "Back when Jury did more than just book keeping and strip joints." Asher shifted uncomfortably in her seat and waited for Lorca to explain why he was so serious. Her car had broken down a few hours ago and now she was being subjected to the Sons interrogation. "Asher's too modest to say shit, but her old man did a job for Charming in a pinch, killed three Mayans, including a VP."

"How's that even work?" Donut asked and Lorca glanced up at the younger man.

"Frank was trying to transfer to Charming. Cali was closer to his Old Ladys family. I ain't goin' into detail, but he did the Club a favour. The VPs son, you might know him." He looked around the crowd and Asher slunk deeper into her seat. "Marcus Alvarez." The room remained silent.

"Jesus Christ." Someone muttered but Asher didn't lift her head.

"They killed Molly, then they killed Frank, and now…"

Asher froze.

"What?" She choked sitting up straight and Lorca turned to her, his steely gaze daring her to say something. "My Dad had a heart attack." She said, swallowing the lump in her throat. She'd always had a sneaking suspicion that a heart attack wasn't the reason for her fathers death but it was just that- a suspicion. Her mother had been killed almost twenty-four years ago, she'd been twenty-one when her father had died. Twenty-one years since her mothers murder. That was a long time between retaliation.

"Asher." Lorca started to say but Asher stood up, looking down at him.

"My father died of a heart attack. You all told me that." She looked around the room, seeing Spanner and Kozik avert their gaze. Happys was black and stern. _Of all of them. _"You _all_ told me that."She clenched her jaw and turned on her heel, storming out, not giving a shit about Mayans or death threats. All people did was lie to her. Happy had lied to her.

* * *

><p>The cool air was humid with the recent rain and she felt almost as claustrophobic as she had been inside those four walls. She looked around the empty carpark and realised that no matter what she was trapped. Her car was somewhere on the freeway, her things were in it, the keys to Maddies cabin. She could hardly go to the Stevensons. She just stood, staring out into the night.<p>

She could feel him before he put the glass bottle over her shoulder and held a glass in front of her. Asher snatched the bottle of whiskey from Happy and the glass and turned to walk down the side of the clubhouse, sitting down at the old picnic table and pouring herself a drink, the glass neck of the bottle rattling against the glass as her hand shook.

"You knew all along." She said quietly. "I trusted you with everything, and you still lied to me."

He didn't move to sit, but he stood nearby, smoking and she glanced up at him from the corner of her eye before taking a long sip enjoying the burn down her throat.

"I never asked you to."

"Yeah you did." She said, running a hand over her head. "You tattooed your club on me, claimed ownership. And I knew looking after me was a club obligation, but I still trusted you." He reached out and snagged her chin between his fingers.

"You shouldn't have." She lowered her eyes, seeing the mosaic of colour on his fore arm, bold black letters melding into the flowers tattooed there.

"_The Blessed."_ She said quietly. Something sparked in the back of her mind, a memory that was pushed so far back, with the attack, Sarahs rape, standing on her driveway as she said goodbye to Happy. "Blessed and Happy." She looked up at him and saw his jaw clenched. "What's going on?" She pulled her chin from his grasp and swallowed the rest of the whiskey, pouring another despite her shaking hands.

"Keep that up, you're gunna end up like your old man." He said, reaching over and taking the glass of amber liquid from her weak grasp.

"Way I'm going, it won't take me so long to kick it." She said bitterly but didn't take the drink back. Clearly pissed off with her attitude, Happy grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet.

"Get inside. Now." He seethed, pushing her towards the clubhouse. They went through the back and up the stairs. His room was still the same as he sat her down on the bed and crossed his arms across his chest, looking like he was trying to decide what to do with her. "Your fuckin' fuel line was cut by Mayans, you nearly got killed." Asher stood up in surprise. "I gotta deal with this shit. Lay your bitch ass down and sleep, I'll deal with you later."

"What're you going to do?" She asked, the fight leaving her as she realised she was so tired, and cold. She needed a shower.

"I'm gunna keep your ass alive for a little while longer. Only person who gets to kill you – is me." He growled, pointing his finger at her before turning his back and stalking out of the room. Taking a deep breath and knowing better than to go after him in his own clubhouse, Asher went over to his bathroom and closed the door, stripping off her clothes and turning on the shower, enjoying the warm spray compared to the cold rain that had fallen on her on her jog to the bar.

* * *

><p>Lorca was still sitting in his chair in the chapel when Happy found him.<p>

"I ain't cut out to deal with this Hayden bullshit." He said without looking up from lighting his cigarette. "Blue knew what he was doing with it, I just…fuck…" Happy sat down in Koziks chair and tapped his fingers on the table. Blues visits in when he'd been locked up had been full of trivial bullshit most of the time, other times it was filled with Blues talk about his vision for the club, after he was gone. He'd always told Happy that he was the only one Lorca would listen to when it came to the cold hard truth. But now he didn't know what to say.

Asher had a hold over him no other person did, not even his mother. He'd tried breaking it, he'd staved off seeing her for nearly two years and had this happened to any other bitch the problem would be simple. Cut the bitch loose.

But this was Asher. And Lorca like Blue understood that Happys loyalty to Asher was too strong to risk. He had saved her life twice, she'd saved his just as many times, there would never be an 'even' they would always owe each other. That meant keeping the Mayans out of Tacoma and away from Asher.

"But I do know something." Happy nodded, "Her going back to Cali is the only thing that can keep the Mayans off her scent. Hell will freeze over before Alvarez sets foot in Sacramento with her family around." That was one of the things Happy had never asked about, but always wanted to know. It seemed that the other half of Ashers family, her mothers side, was a lot more intimidating that the Hayden side.

"What's her uncle a fuckin' mobster or somethin'." He muttered and Lorca smirked.

"Somethin' like that. Find out why she's here Hap. I want information and she'll tell you. Fuckin' Spanner'll get too whipped on her if I get him to do it. Bitch does somethin' to his brain." Happy smirked. Yeah, she had that affect on a lot of people but he knew Lorca was wrong- Asher would tell Spanner why she was there before she'd tell him. "Then I want her gone."

"Aight."

"Tell her she's got two days. I'll get someone to tow the car, get it fixed, new paint new plates." Happy nodded. "I respect that we owe her for a lifetime, but I want her out of here asap. Tomorrow you and I deal with the Mayans waiting out on the freeway. Taylors keepin' an eye on them." Happy nodded again and rubbed a hand over his head as he stood up. "Hap-" Happy turned around to look at Lorca, "I ain't blind. But I know you're too smart to let shit with her interfere with the club. I said before, I ain't Blue. We're cut from the same cloth brother, I know sometimes you gotta let someone in, but Asher has too many ties with the club, Riley and Spanner. Whatever you do with her- you keep it out of Tacoma." Happy didn't bother denying or admitting anything, just nodded and left the room going out to the side of the clubhouse where the bottle of whiskey and full glass were still sitting. He took a seat on the table and swallowed the liquid before pouring another one.

* * *

><p>He'd finished most of the bottle and wasn't really feeling the effects when he stalked back up to his room and found her curled up on the bed, his black SOA shirt on, the collar hanging off her shoulder and her hair falling in damp waves across the pillow, making it look almost brown in the dim light. Reaching over he tugged the fabric further over her thighs, hiding the creamy expanse of thigh that he'd once littered with bruises. His eyes caught the black ink on his arm that she'd been looking at earlier.<p>

_The Blessed. _

That night on her driveway when she'd told him her name was an oxymoron had haunted him for three years until he'd confronted her in LA.

"Do I really look like the bringer of Happiness?"

But her name didn't mean bringer of happiness.

It meant blessed happiness. But he hadn't told the red head that had tattooed it on him though. He's told her that he was blessed with other qualities, then showed her on the bar that his arm had been resting on.

Shucking off his boots and jeans, he pulled his cut and shirt off before pulling back the sheet and climbing in, pulling the material over the top of both of them. As if she knew it was him, her legs stretched out and she relaxed into the bed with a sigh.

"Happy." She said quietly in her sleep and he sighed.

Blessed or not, Lorca was right, she had to get out of Tacoma.

* * *

><p>AN: Well? Review x


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence. _

**Merry Christmas everyone! Thought you might get an extra long chapter for the holiday season. Please enjoy and as always Review! x**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Seven – Get us Home <strong>

_You gotta get us home  
>Right now<br>There's no comfort in the cradle where we sleep  
>It's the land of dark and wild<br>That won't let us survive for free  
>-<em>_** The Panics **__  
><em>

**Tacoma WA  
>4<strong>**th**** November 2003**

When he woke she was on her back, his arm was draped over her, and the t-shirt she was wearing had ridden up over her stomach just below her breasts. On full display in the sunlight pouring through his window was her ink, still bright and colourful like the first time he'd seen it. His words etched into her skin to remind her where she belonged.

_Tacoma SOA born and bred. _

He lifted his arm about to get out of bed, when his eyes fell on the pink scar that he'd tried to ignore the last time he'd been in this position. His thumb acted involuntarily and came down to press the pad down over the scar, surprised that the scar was lumpy and larger than his thumb.

"Shit." He whispered. That fucker would have hurt.

"Hmm." His head snapped up at the sound and he remembered that he was pressing into the scar, retracting his hand quickly. He looked up at her peaceful face, pretending to sleep. He could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, unlike the deep breaths that he knew signalled her sleeping.

Realising she wasn't going to give in and admit she was awake, he shifted to lean over her body, his forefingers catching the waistband of her flimsy panties. He liked that about her, no matter how much skin the lace covered it was always so fucking hot on her. The others, the sweetbutts wore thongs or nothing at all, but Asher always had those thin lacy panties that never matched her bra.

More shit he knew that he shouldn't.

Pushing everything but the task at hand out of his mind, he pulled the panties off and flung them towards the floor. He parted her legs and knelt between them, but she kept up the ruse, even though her chest was rising and falling faster and her fingers were gripping the sheets in anticipation.

He leant down, placed an open mouthed kiss below the hem of the t-shirt then on the scar on her stomach, raking his teeth over the bumpy skin making her shudder.

"Don't." She whispered and it stopped everything. He glared at her, trying to bore a hole in her head, get her to open her eyes.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Her blue eyes snapped open and she snapped her legs shut, pulling the t-shirt down as she sat up.

"Don't touch it. I don't like it." She replied, wrapping her arms around her stomach. He furrowed his brow. Asher had never had a problem with him touching her before. She was the kind of girl that oozed sexual confidence, like she didn't have a problem with her body. And she shouldn't have. With her perfect D cup, tight ivory skin most women kill for. She wasn't rake thin- she filled out her jeans and her ass always looked great, especially without anything covering it, like now, when he could see it poking out behind her legs.

He snatched an ankle and jerked it, flattening her to her back again. She fought him though, it was feeble and he knew it wasn't fear, it was disgust in herself, which unnerved him more.

"You never had a fuckin' problem before." He growled looking down as she avoided his eyes, her black nails, tugging the hem of the t-shirt down.

"You never noticed it before." She said quietly, her head turned away and he realised what she was talking about.

"It's a fuckin' scar Asher."

"It's gross, I can't get rid of it." Still leaning over her , he knocked her hands away, holding them above her head with one hand while the other tugged the t-shirt up.

"Who told you that?" He asked her, and she flinched, her cheek shifting and her lip twitching. "Some prick told you to get rid of it."

"It was a suggestion." She replied and he shook his head. People were fucked in the head.

"It ain't gross, baby." He said quietly and she bit her lip. "You know it ain't . Don't let some fuckwit tell you it is. That asshole never got shot." He leant down and kissed the skin, lapping his tongue over it.

"Hap…" She sighed, but didn't fight him as he tugged her legs down closer to him, his tongue still tracing the scar, it sending shudders through her body. He got some satisfaction that he was the only person that knew how to get her to do that. Once he knew she had relaxed he continued his journey down, smiling when he heard the satisfied moan coming from her lips.

* * *

><p>Asher didn't want to open her eyes. The black behind her eyelids was lighting up with bright lights, like lightening as she came down. She could feel Happy shift over her and she snapped open her eyes to see him leaning over the top of her, his brown eyes actually brown.<p>

"We gotta talk about shit." He said sternly his hand tugging the t-shirt down to her hips and she furrowed her brow. For someone that rarely ever talked, he had terrible timing. She wrapped her legs around his waist to anchor herself to him and reached up to him.

"Later." She wanted to repay him but his hand was firm on her shoulder, pushing her back onto the bed.

"Yeah, I got shit to do." He pushed himself up and off the bed and she suddenly felt like she'd done something wrong. Tugging the t-shirt over her knees she watched as he dressed without looking at her. Just as his hand touched the doorknob she spoke.

"Jesus, fuckin' hell freeze over or something? You turning down pussy." She scoffed and he turned around to face her, his hand still on the doorknob.

"Only when the pussy starts havin' a fuckin' opinion." He snapped back and walked out the door, it slamming shut in his wake.

"Asshole." Scrambling from the bed and feeling dirty and she went into the bathroom and started the shower, scrubbing her skin raw to get rid of the feeling she got when people lied to her. Happy had done it twice in the last twenty-four hours. First about her father and then about the scar that she traced on her stomach. It hadn't faded at all in two years and she'd tried creams to ease the redness, but it did nothing. She would always have the constant reminder of what had happened, to Sarah and herself. And it was yet another reminder of Happy, like the dark ink on her side.

She was pretty certain Happy's unconventional compliments about the scar were his way of preventing bloodshed when she started crying. But she wouldn't let that happen. She wasn't a crier.

Reminding herself of not being a crier reminded her that she also wasn't someone that got bothered with trivial things about scars and men. Well not most men. Happy was an exception she'd made since she was eighteen. But the rest of them, the ones downstairs waiting for her to face up to the Mayans she'd brought to their doorstep. She knew her family was the reason behind it so it was time for her to deal with the consequences. Whatever Lorca decided they were.

* * *

><p>Pulling on her clothes from the duffle she found near the door, she made the most of what she could with the limited mirror space and made sure she looked both ways before sneaking out of Happys room and striding down the stairs to the bar, pretending that she'd spent the night asleep in the old lounge room that no one used anymore because it didn't have a tv.<p>

It was silent in the bar and she sighed with relief before making her way into the kitchen and pouring herself a mug of still hot coffee.

"Where'd you sleep last night?" She gripped the table to prevent herself from turning around.

"In the old lounge room." She replied quietly.

"Next to Koziks room?" She shrugged. She wasn't sure whos room was next door. She only knew where Happys room was upstairs. Spanner and Donuts rooms were downstairs.

"Dunno." Riley was silent for a moment and she sipped at her coffee, keeping her eyes focussed on the calendar in front of her, the porno lift out taped above it. Men were just so classy.

"Why's he call you jailbait?" Riley pushed and Asher winced.

"Dunno."

"Yo, JB." And the man himself waltzed in, making a show of slapping Ashers ass on the way to the coffee machine. She shot him a glare and he jerked his head in Rileys direction and everything sunk in. Kozik was covering for her.

_Oh._

"Got a problem Brother?" Kozik said, watching Riley over his shoulder as he sidled up to Asher.

"Nah." Riley sneered and turned on his heel, walking out of the kitchen and leaving Kozik and Asher standing there alone.

"Jesus, how do you do it?" Kozik asked returning his gaze back to Asher.

"Do what?"

"Get those boys so whipped?"

"They're not whipped." Asher replied, stepping past Kozik but he snagged her arm, stopping her getaway.

"I ain't gunna rat you and the Killer out to anyone, but I ain't gunna stand around and let it pass if you start fuckin' around." He warned and Asher almost gaped, but didn't.

"I wouldn't…" She started but he held a hand up to silence her.

"Just warnin' ya." She nodded and he let her go.

When she was finally out in the bright light she kept going until she was out into the street, heading towards the old diner down the road, praying for some time alone, some silence in her head. The last twenty-four hours had been hectic.

Looking down at the large watch on her wrist she sighed. She was too late now. The whole trip had turned out to be an epic fail. Since Christmas she'd worked her ass off at school so she could finish her nursing degree and maybe get out of Sacramento. Then like that, as soon as she had graduated she got a job offer, three actually. One in Sacramento, one in Bakersfield and one in Seattle. Seattle wasn't Tacoma, thank god, but it was closer to the people that she cared about like Sarah. The interview was at nine am, but now, as the hand on her watch ticked over to eight forty-five she could actually see the opportunity flying out the window.

Looked like it was California for a little while longer.

* * *

><p>"You gunna finally tell someone why you're back?" Asher looked up at a reaper clad biker slid in across from her. She chanced a smile as Spanner grinned at her, his pearly white teeth bright and his smile all playboy. If it wasn't for all the tatts up his arms to the ratty edges of his torn off Tacoma Auto shirt sleeves, he would have looked like a normal college boy. But Spanner wasn't a College boy. Spanner, underneath all the charm and smooth talking, was a killer, like many of the Tacoma Sons.<p>

"I'm back for you." She said, quirking an eyebrow for good measure and his grin got wider.

"Oh baby, don't tease." Asher bit her lip and played with the frayed edges of the menu in front of her. "Hey, come on, it's gotta be important if you came all the way back here."

"I got a job offer."

"Nursing?" She nodded and he reached over and grabbed her hand. "Here in Tacoma?" Shaking her head Asher squeezed his hand gently.

"Seattle."

"Jesus, well it's still in the state. That's great baby. When are you going?" He let her hand go and leaned forward on his arms in interest.

"I missed the interview."

"Asher…" He sighed and she shrugged.

"There'll be other chances." She reassured herself more than him.

"Yeah, hell, they'd be champin' at the bit for you. With all your social skills." He teased and Asher shot him a pointed look.

"I learned a few things at school."

"I'm sure you did." He waggled his eyebrows for good measure. "Time to use some of them, darlin'." He said as a waitress approached and Spanner grinned up at her. "How you goin' doll?"

"Spanner." The waitress said sweetly. "I'm good thank you." Asher recognised the voice and looked up at the waitress only to smile when she saw Courtney Bragen standing there. However, Courtney didn't look so happy to see her. "Asher."

"Hey Courtney." Asher said, genuinely happy to see her old high school friend. But apparently they sentiment wasn't mutual.

"How long have you been back?" Courtney asked.

"Got back last night, car trouble." Asher shrugged, pretending not to see the questioning on Courtneys face.

"And you stayed at the clubhouse?" What was this? The freaking Spanish inquisition.

"Yeah."

"Oh." The girl looked back down at the notepad in her hand. "Riley never said anything last night."

_Oh._

"You're with Riley?" Her attitude suddenly made sense, so did Spanners words.

"Yeah…" She flicked up a hand and the gold ring with the diamond in it flashed under the light. "We're engaged."

_Holy shit. _

"Wow!" Asher glanced over at Spanner, who nodded. She needed to make a good show of this. Courtney was clearly worried. "That's beautiful." Standing up, Asher took her hand and inspected the ring. "Congratulations."

"Oh." Asher pulled back and looked at Courtney.

"What?"

"You just…wow…you're heaps different." Asher shrugged and let Courtney pull her into a hug. "Thanks Asher. It means a lot."

"Well I'm happy for you." Asher replied, even though her brain was still processing the information. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that Riley was jealous that morning, but now, apparently he was engaged. To the girl that had once said that Asher and Riley were the perfect couple.

"Thanks. Can I get you two something to eat?" She asked, when they spotted another waitress giving them a sour look.

"Yeah sure." Asher sat down and looked at the menu. "Just a blueberry muffin and a coffee thanks."

"Spanner?" Courtney asked.

"Um, nothin' darlin' I gotta go." Asher glanced over at Spanner a little disappointed but she plastered a smile on her face. Courtney disappeared and Spanner looked over at Asher. "Come on, don't give me that look."

"What look?" Asher asked.

"Like someone ran over your puppy."

"I don't know that look- I never had a puppy." This made him smile and stand up and press a kiss to her head.

"I'm gunna have your back baby girl, with this whole thing, I promise." He said into her hair and Asher furrowed her brow, not understanding what he meant, but he was gone before she had a chance to ask.

* * *

><p>Pete Davies hated having to lie to Asher Hayden even if it was for the good of the club. Or for Happy.<p>

He was leaning against his bike, his legs crossed at the ankles as he leant against his bike, shade in place and cigarette in his hand.

"I don't know why you couldn't just ask her yourself." Spanner said, walking over and swinging onto his own bike and putting his helmet on.

"What'd she say?"

"She got a job interview in Seattle. She was coming back, Hap." He glanced over at the older man. He'd always had a lot of respect for Happy. A long time before he'd helped Asher and Sarah, and after helping Asher to LA and back again, he had learnt a few things.

Things that no one should know about the Tacoma killer.

Like the fact that he had a heart.

"Back for good. If Lorca votes it, I'm going against him. I won't turn her loose to them, Hap. Not after what happened with Ainsley." The other man nodded, flicking away his cigarette butt and standing up.

"It ain't goin' to vote. She's going back to Cali." Happy said gruffly and Spanner shook his head.

_No way. _

"You spent the last coupla' years savin' her life then you let her go back there."

"Lets you and me get somethin' straight kid," Happy pointed at Spanner and he felt a chill go down his spine at the mans glare, "that little bitch has more secrets locked up in her then any of us know- so believe me when I say- Cali is the best place for her." Without another word, Happy swung onto his bike and started it and pull off the curb. Spanner watched him go.

He'd always knew that Asher knew more than she let on, but he wasn't so sure Cali was safer for her than Tacoma. Cali wasn't home.

* * *

><p>Asher stared at the bottle of whiskey in front of her on the bar. Her stomach growled, hungry from the lack of food she'd had since the blueberry muffin she'd picked at that morning. The lack of food in the clubhouse hadn't helped, but honestly the anticipation of waiting to hear what Lorca had planned had made her appetite evaporate.<p>

The bottle was almost empty, the same bottle from the night before that she'd found on the old picnic table outside and brought into the deserted bar. It seemed everyone was out doing something important and she was left there waiting.

She'd spent a few hours with Sarah who seemed to have given up her muteness and was back to being the talker she had been before. It gave Asher some ease knowing that she was talking to everyone again. Maybe her brothers return from the army had comforted her, or maybe it was Happys constant presence in her life, but she had a feeling that she had Kozik to thank for it. Because every second sentence started with "And Uncle Koz said…" for a twelve year old, she had some serious hero worship.

And Asher prayed that unlike with her own situation, that was all it was. Hero worship.

The whiskey proved the solution and the beginning of all her problems. She'd promised herself time and time again that she would stop it, stop giving into the Hayden gene. That only reminded her that her father had been murdered, in a similar way to her mother. Another reason to drink.

Happy had lied to her, as had Spanner and everyone else.

That was at least a whole other drink right there.

The Mayans had followed her to Tacoma.

She was going to need another bottle.

She scanned the shelves.

"Asher!" The front door slammed and she spun around to see Donut heading towards her. "Need you outside." He panted, pointing his thumb over his shoulder and Asher slid off the chair, and followed him out to the lot where the regulation white van was backing up to the clubhouse. The back doors flew open and Asher stumbled back at the sight in the back of the van.

Six Sons, each in various stages of disarray, cuts missing and blood staining their clothes.

The one stretched over the floor with Koziks hands on his stomach was bellowing something, but it was all filled with pain and Asher couldn't make out what he was saying.

Her internship in the emergency department training kicked in and she turned to Donut.

"First Aid kit." He nodded and Asher turned back to the men in the van, knowing better than to ask questions. "Get him inside." Spanner and Bowie leapt up, helping the bleeding man to his feet and carrying him inside while the others followed. Happy stepped past Asher, his jaw set and not a word said and she reached out to touch his arm which he was holding by the shoulder with his other hand, but heard him hiss from the contact.

Her jaw twitched as she refrained from going into panic mode, deciding just to follow them in.

The doors to the Chapel where wide open and the bleeding member was placed down on the carved out reaper. Asher surveyed the rest of them and noticed a few would probably need stitches, but most of them would go without. They weren't the type to appreciate her attention unless it was serious. But the way Happy was holding his shoulder gingerly made her stop striding through the room to the other man.

"Lorca?" She asked as the President came over and he nodded. "I think Haps shoulder-" She gestured to the other man. "He won't let me touch it, can you pop it back in and sling it?" Lorca nodded and went over to the other man, freeing Asher up.

Donut returned with the first aid kit and Asher started towards the chapel when she heard cussing and a thump. Turning around slowly on her heel, already knowing what she was going to see she shook her head. Typical men.

"Take that to Kozik." She said quietly and Donut disappeared into the chapel.

In front of her, on his ass was Riley Stevenson, Happy glaring down at him. Looked like the newest patched member had tried to do as Asher had told Lorca and Happy had laid him out for it.

"I think I sprained somethin'." Lorca said shrugging flippantly as he kept going towards the Chapel. Taking a deep breath and deciding the only way she could focus on the other Son who was currently being held together by Kozik, was if she took the bull by the horns and did it herself.

"Sit your ass down." She sighed as she approached Happy and he glowered at her, his jaw twitching and she stood her ground, giving as good as she got. "You wanna be fucked up forever? Sit your ass down and let me fix it so I can worry about your friend." This seemed to make a difference and he sat on a barstool, wincing with the movement and Asher rolled her eyes. He wasn't exactly making this easy on her.

"Do it then." He growled and she scrambled onto a bar stool, then onto the bar, sliding onto the bar and sitting behind him. Bracing her hands on either side of his large shoulders she mustered all the strength she could, and after the attitude she'd gotten from him that morning, the anger quickly provided that.

"On the count of three." She said and saw his head bob. "One."

_Crack. _

"Jesus, fuck woman." He shouted and she smirked in satisfaction. His reaction was the only thing that was preventing her from kicking the barstool out from under him.

"Someone get him a sling." She slid off the bar and walked over to the chapel, slamming the door behind her and finally focussing on the scene in front of her.

* * *

><p>"What's your name darlin'?" The Nomad that was stretched out on the table asked as he swilled on the bottle of Whiskey someone had provided him.<p>

"Asher."

"Asher Hayden? The girl from…" He trailed off and Asher looked up from cleaning the wound on his stomach to see Kozik shaking his head at the Nomad. "I'm Taylor." He said quickly changing the subject and Asher smiled.

"Nice to meet you Taylor."

"Wish it was under better circumstances, doll." He laughed as Asher undid his belt and pulled his jeans down with gloved hands to get full assessment of the damage. "Usually I like to buy the girl a drink before she gets in my pants."

"Well looks like I saved you a couple of bucks, Taylor." Asher replied, wiping as much blood as she could out of the way. "You don't seem to have a problem with needles." She said, gesturing to the ink on his stomach and Taylor nodded.

"I'm a man of steel baby."

"Good for you." Asher muttered before searching through the Sons kit for something to stitch the gash on his stomach back together. "I can tell you though Taylor, this is going to hurt a lot more than a tattoo needle." She said remembering her own tattooing in that very clubhouse, and the painfulness of having her stomach stitched back up when she'd split her stitches after the shooting.

"You don't look like you'd know darlin'." Taylor teased and Kozik stepped in and saved her from answering.

"Believe me Brother, she knows."

"So the rumours are true." Taylor chuckled and Kozik smirked.

"Yeah the rumours are true. You're gettin' looked after by the chick that saved the Killers life." Asher shot her head up and glared at Kozik. That was not true. She'd never saved Happys life. "It's all true." Kozik said to her more than Taylor, but Taylor raised his bottle to her anyway.

"I'm in safe hands then." Asher shook off her thoughts of Happy and nodded.

"Of course."

* * *

><p>Twenty-two stitches in his stomach and Taylor could thank a very clean blade for the scar. Thankfully she didn't think there was a risk of infection. The wound was clean and the blade had been sharp, making the wound very easy to deal with. As soon as she was finished putting the bandage over the top of the stitches, Lorca stepped in, beer in his 'sprained' hand.<p>

"Get him up to the spare room. Take that fuckin' bottle from his lips too." Lorca said snatching the bottle from Taylors hand as he staggered through the door, flanked by the two bikers. Asher kept her head down and cleaned up the mess in the chapel. "Let the girls get them darlin'." Lorca said, gesturing to the table and Asher glanced up.

"I got it." Lorca didn't say anything more, but he stepped forward and shut the door before leaning back against it. Asher remained quiet, putting all the bloody rubbish in a plastic bag and snapping her gloves off.

"I'm gonna take you back to Sacramento tomorrow." He said after a minute and Asher stopped, looking up at him.

"You don't have to do that."

"Did you just see what you did, girl?" he said gesturing to the table, "You just gave me another reason to keep you safe. Taylors the President of the Nomads and you little lady just stopped him bleeding out on our table."

"It's my job, Lorca." Asher returned to cleaning up.

"Lookin' after Sons ain't your job, girl. Hell we haven't done a good job at lookin' out for you."

"Hap looked out for me." She said quietly, not game enough to look up at the president and give too much away. There was a slight chuckle from the President.

"Yeah Hap did. And you looked out for him too." Lorca ran a hand over his dark hair and shook his head slightly. "You and I both know Californias the safest place for you, hun." She nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I know."

"I ain't sayin' don't come back. Before today I woulda…hell I did say that, _but _if you care that much about his heartless ass, I ain't gonna stop you havin' a life with him."

"I don't-" Asher started to lie, but Lorca held a hand up to shut her up.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me. Just, keep it away from my clubhouse, I don't need brothers at each others throats over some pussy."

"Okay." She replied quietly and Lorca jerked his head towards the bar.

"Get the hell outta here, don't think anyone found a sling for Hap, take one up to his room will ya." Asher smirked slightly and nodded. "Hey…" Asher stopped her escape, just as she stepped out into the bar. "Thanks baby girl."

* * *

><p>Leaning against the doorway she took in the sight before her. Happy was in the shower, and she was watching him move slowly around the little shower cubicle, his large firm form evident through the frosted glass. She knew better than to take him on after the incident down in the bar, instead turning around and searching the room for her belongings.<p>

She started packing them up, zipping the bag up when she heard the gruff voice say her name. But she didn't lift her head. He knew she had to go, he knew she couldn't stay in the room with him, not when Lorca had already told her to keep it away from the clubhouse.

"How's your shoulder?" She asked, smoothing her hands over the top of the bag.

"Aight."

"You'll need to take some painkillers for it."

"Yeah." Taking a deep breath she stood up and swung the bag over her shoulder, turning around to face him, forgetting the effect he had on her, especially when he was only wearing a towel. She tried to fight licking her lips at the sight of him. He was injured, and Lorca had given her a warning.

"So Lorca's taking me back to Cali tomorrow." Happy nodded, clearly he already knew about this fact.

"Spanners bringing a car 'round for you."

"What happened to the Jetta?" She asked. Last she knew it was only a cut fuel line that had prevented her going anywhere.

"It got left out on the highway, whatdya think happened?"

_Shit._

"I don't have enough money for another car." She sighed and Happy shrugged.

"Don't need it. We got this." Looking down at her hands she remembered her mothers locket in the glovebox. It had been there since she'd moved apartments the first time in LA, the car being the only real safe place for her belongings. And the nine mil she always carried on her travels.

"Shit." Then she remembered she'd never asked how Happy had gotten her bag from the car the night before. "Wait, when did you get my bag?"

"Picked it up on the way to get you, last night." He shrugged, still standing in the doorway of the bathroom. "Got your gun too."

"Thanks." The weight of the bag on her shoulder reminded her that she was meant to be going somewhere. "I should find someone to take me back to the cabin or something."

"It's late." He said, "No ones up for it." He walked over to the bed and dropped the towel, this time making Asher bite her lip as she watched on, the blood rushing to her cheeks as he climbed into the bed.

"I…" He wasn't looking at her, but it felt like he was boring a hole in her. "Lorca said…"

"Lorcas got a fuckin' woman to go home to, he needs to stop worryin' 'bout other peoples." He muttered and Asher bit her lip harder and reminded herself not to point out the meaning of his words. "Get your ass in here now, baby girl before I dislocate my fuckin' shoulder again draggin you in." Sighing, Asher walked over and shut off the lights, shucking off her clothes on the way, glad she'd washed the blood away before she'd come up and got in the bed.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were warming up to me Hap."

"Lucky you're a smart bitch." He said, his breath hitting her collarbone and Asher felt his weight shift, his leg sliding between hers. Her whole body came to life as his fingers trailed over her naked skin and she lifted her knee up to his hip before remembering his injury.

"Your shoulder Hap." She groaned, knowing that it had already gone too far for them to stop as he pressed against her stomach and she lifted her hips as he slanted his lips over hers in the dark and already knowing his effect on her, he slid into her, catching her gasp in his mouth.

"Get up there then Doc." He ordered pulling away before rolling on his back and taking Asher with him.

* * *

><p>Asher scrambled from the bed a few hours later and searched her handbag for the little container of pills. In their haste the night before they'd forgotten about protection, something that she was usually adamant about because she had the tendency to forget about her pill. Turning to look over her shoulder at the sleeping man, the moonlight coming through the window and bathing his toned body in blue light, making his tattoos glow she sighed. The one person that she should have made stop and find the stash of rubbers in his drawer and she just let him do as he pleased.<p>

She wasn't stupid, she knew the stuff he did with the sweetbutts, and she prayed that their stupidity wasn't contagious. She swallowed the little pill and crawled back onto the bed she watched his chest rise and fall with sleep. He'd once done the same for her, sitting beside her hospital bed as she slept through the pain of a bullet wound.

At the thought she brushed her hand over her stomach, over the scar.

It wasn't even twenty-four hours ago that she'd recoiled at Happys touch. The few people she'd slept with since the incident, one had become a regular in her bed, Tad or Todd or something, he hadn't been that important. He'd been the one that had told her she could get it removed. So she wouldn't have that ugly scar on her stomach.

The one that he never even asked how she'd gotten it.

She'd never been asked about it, just like no-one ever asked her about the tattoo on her side. The men she picked never really cared about such little trivial things. She drew her knee up to her chest and rested her chin on it as she watched Happys muscles twitch under the skin. He was the one person that had cared. She'd woken the few times that he'd been staring at the ink on her side and that morning he'd mentioned the scar. Maybe it was because he knew the details behind them but it still made her realise that like in LA she was making the wrong choices.

She could do better but it wouldn't be him. Even though Lorca had given them his blessing, she knew Happy didn't want it, and neither did she. She didn't want to be tied to someone in Tacoma when she was forced back to Sacramento. It would be too painful to live out her time waiting for him to come and visit, and know that he was fucking everything that moved when he wasn't with her.

What they had, whatever it was, was just easier the way it was.

Committing the scene in front of her to memory, Asher climbed off the bed and headed towards the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her and starting the shower.

She was shampooing her hair when she heard the bathroom door slam and she spun around just as the glass door of the shower was pulled open and Happy stepped in, completely naked and Asher felt her heart leap in her throat at the sight of him as he stood over her, pushing her back slightly to get under the hot spray, his eyes closed.

"You mind?" She asked, cocking her head to the side and brushing her soapy hair from her face. Happys eyes snapped open and he looked down at her, a familiar hungry look in his eyes. Asher bit her lip, unable to resist reaching out and touching his tattooed skin, watching the muscles jump under it.

"You complainin' baby girl?" he asked, watching her fingers trace the ink on his skin, water running off both of their faces as they stood cramped in the small space. His large hand came forward, his thumb grazing over the scar on her stomach. "It hurt?" Shaking her head Asher continued to trace the lines on his skin. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off when his lips descended on hers and he had her pressed up against the grimy wall. But she didn't care. Her mind was blurred as he tongue swept against her lips and she opened them for him, letting him dominate her. Lifting her arms up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up closer, feeling his hands grab the back of her thighs and pull her up closer to him, the strength coming from his good shoulder. He was going to be so sore the next few days, but she couldn't help herself. She could feel his hard on pressing against her and bucked her hips up slightly. Happy groaned and pushed up against her harder, their skin sliding against each other with the slickness from the water pelting down around them. Breaking the kiss Asher kissed along his jaw, feeling his stubble rough against her lips before venturing down his neck, sucking at his adams apple when he dropped his head back.

Yeah, whatever it was they had was perfect.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

**_Please- I repeat- PLEASE don't hate me - review instead it's plenty more productive. _**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Eight – According to You <strong>

_According to You  
>I'm a mess<br>In a dress  
>Can't get to work on time<br>Even if it'd save my life  
>According to you<br>I'm a girl with the worst attention span  
>you're the boy that puts up with that<br>_

_But according to him  
>I'm beautiful<br>Incredible  
>He can't get me out of his head<br>According to him  
>I'm funny<br>Irresistible  
>Everything he ever wanted<br>__**-Orianthe**_

**Tacoma WA **

**5****th**** November 2003**

Asher slipped quietly from the bed and pulled her clothes on. She chanced a glance back at Happy who was stretched out, naked on the bed spent and sore from their last night. Part of her wanted to curl up and go back to sleep with him, all of her really. But she knew if she didn't go down and meet Lorca, she never would and with Happy injured, he wouldn't be able to ride so she really needed to be in the Presidents good graces.

Slipping her duffle on her shoulder and picking up her handbag she made her way out the door into the quietness of the sleeping clubhouse. She slipped down to the spare room past Happys and knocked gently before hearing a muffled reply. Walking in she saw Taylor stretched out on the bed, his chest bare and his jeans slung low on his hips. He would have easily been around Happys age, maybe younger, and his skin was covered in colour it clashing against the stark white of his skin. It was a vast comparison to Happys.

"Morning darlin'." He said, lifting his head from the pillow as Asher stood in the doorway.

"I just wanted to check you were alright before I left."

"I'm fine, thanks to a certain pretty blonde." Asher gave him a grateful smile and went to leave but her called out her name. "I heard what you did for Happy, the real version not the other one," Asher nodded, she knew the one about her being a rat and Happy killing her was popular, "And I gotta say we owe you. Happy saved my life out there yesterday." He chuckled as if remembering something funny about the whole thing, "if you hadn't done what you did, he'd still be locked up and I'd probably be dead." Asher rolled her eyes, they never looked at the big picture.

"Or you never would have run into the Mayans in the first place cause I wouldn't be here."

"Doll, ask any Son, even the ones that don't appreciate a girl like you, and they'll tell you the same- it ain't your fault. There's been bad blood between the Sons and Mayans for a long time and your Old Man might have been part of it, but he wasn't the start and he wasn't the end, so stop thinkin' that." Asher nodded, deciding it was best just to let the crazy man believe this before he ripped his stitches out.

"I'll see you later." She said quietly and got out before he could say anything else about debts and who owed who.

When she made it down to the main bar, Lorca was sitting at the bar, waiting for her, Spanner by his side.

"Ready baby?" Lorca asked, putting down his coffee cup and Asher nodded. "Come on." She followed him out to the lot where a familiar red Camaro was parked, near their bikes. The drivers side door of the car opened as she stepped out into the sunlight and a dark haired _man _with short brown hair wearing tailored pants and a crisp white shirt, with a navy tie climbed out and stood beside the car, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Hey Col." Asher tried not to let on how impressed she was by the transformation of the strange but kind kid that had stalked her to the professional man that was standing in front of her.

"See you've met our PI." Lorca laughed and Asher grinned even bigger.

"Yeah well…" Collie shrugged, "Heard you had some car troubles, and this was sitting in the shed gathering dust."

"What?" Asher furrowed her brow, what the hell?

"The car." Collie gestured to the red Camaro. "Thought you might like it." Asher took in the vintage car that looked like it belonged in an episode of Dukes of Hazzard and not in her driveway in Sacramento.

"I dunno…" Asher started but Spanner interrupted her, wrapping a large tattooed arm around her shoulders.

"Come on baby, this car is all _you." _

"You realise you just called me old." She said, glaring up at the biker but Spanner just gave her a cocky grin.

"Asher." He pulled her in front of him, placing his hands on her shoulders, giving her a serious look. "This car is mint."

"So now I'm _mint_?" Asher laughed and Spanner rolled his eyes.

"Come on, you'll love it when it's out on the road." He spun her around and shoved her towards the car. "Just stop actin' coy and shit and say thank you will ya." Asher rolled her eyes but walked over to Collie, accepting that she was not getting out of this and considering her Jetta was fucked, she might as well take it. It was a vast improvement to the little box she'd been driving until a few days ago.

"Filled the tank up for you, should get you most of the way home." Collie said quietly when she approached.

"Thank you Col." Standing up on tiptoes Asher pressed a kiss to his cheek, using a hand to slip the five hundred she'd picked up in the bar the other night into his pocket. "I don't take handouts." She whispered quietly when he gave her a questioning look.

"'Kay, put your shit in and lets get the fuck outta here." Lorca ordered and Collie held the door open for Asher, holding the keys out to her, jangling the white Tacoma Auto keyring right in her face.

"It's right you have it, it spent enough time at your house." Collie laughed sheepishly and Asher had to smile.

"Yeah well, don't be modest, you saved my life, even if it was a bit creepy."

"Thanks Asher." He laughed off her teasing and she figured he probably still got a ribbing from the Sons about it.

Throwing her bags in the passenger seat she was about to slide in when a familiar voice called out.

"You forget somethin' hooker?" She tried to hide the smile as she turned around to see Happy standing in the lot, wifebeater on with sweats, his arm bent at the elbow and held against his chest while the other dangled a gun from his forefinger. Without a word she walked over and took the gun, assessing his arm as she went.

"You need to put that in a sling." She said quietly and looked up at his face which was stern as always, his lip twitching slightly and she tried to hide the blush as she remembered the stuff they'd done last night, in the bed, in the shower, on the floor. "I'm going for a job at one of the hospitals in Sacramento." He nodded and she took a deep breath and accepted that this was the best goodbye she was going to get in front of his brothers. "See ya Hap."

"Yeah, see ya Asher."

* * *

><p><strong>Sacramento CA<strong>

**5****th**** August 2004**

"Asher!" Asher looked up from the desk where she was organising patients charts and saw Susie, one of the other nurses looking over the top of the desk at her. "There's someone here for you." Asher rose her eyebrow. She never got visitors at the hospital and automatically she went on the defensive, remembering that her gun was in the glove compartment of the Camaro. "Tall, green eyes, tatts and _hot!_" Susie giggled and Asher knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Thanks." Asher closed the charts, took her glasses off and grabbed her pager from the table, making her way down to the waiting room. She found Tina at the reception on the phone and tapped a hand on the top of the desk.

"Outside." Tina mouthed and pointed to the large automatic glass doors. Asher headed towards them as a familiar blonde walked through the door, his suit jacket over his arm and a tired smile on his face.

"Hey baby." Cameron, the banker.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" Asher asked, stopping and tugging on the sleeves of her thermal under her scrubs.

"I couldn't get you on your cell, thought I'd drop in on my way back from work. Don't think we can make it to dinner tonight. I'm not feeling so great." Asher didn't miss the way he said _we._

"Well I've kind of got to go, it's Tonys birthday. You can stay home if you want." _Home_. She didn't know why she thought of it as his home. It was her home, he'd just moved his clingy ass in and she'd never objected.

She'd met him in a bar which only reminded her that she needed to stop drinking, and she'd been ordering Tequila for a few other nurses when he'd come up to her. He was good looking and charming, in that Riley kind of way. She'd taken him home for the night and he'd taken it upon himself to never leave. After three months he had announced that they should move in and had promptly shifted all his shit into her tiny two bedroom apartment.

It wasn't that she didn't like him, she did, but she needed her own space and just because _normal _people moved in together, she didn't, because she wasn't normal. He'd also offered to help her get surgery if she wanted to get the scar removed, also adding that laser treatment would get rid of her tattoo.

The scar she understood, the tattoo she didn't.

That tattoo, the daisies along her side, woven together with the words Tacoma SOA born and bred, where part of her, just like the person that had put them there. Just because she had moved away, started a life and started a relationship with someone, didn't mean that she'd left the old parts of herself behind. She was living a life that had been saved countless times because of the man that had put that tattoo on her. She would never part with it.

But Cameron, the banker, insisted that when they were married, because apparently they were getting married even though he like everyone else couldn't say he loved her, didn't want his wife sporting such distasteful ink that made her look like some kind of trailerpark white trash.

He'd slept on the couch that night.

Just because she had let him insert himself into her life and think he had control over her, didn't mean that he did. Happy had once told her that if she ever became a controlled woman he would kill her himself, and so she had let Cameron in, because she didn't mind having someone to come home to and pretend to have an interest in her life, but she had still reminded herself that if it ever came down to it, she would kick him out.

And six months later, he was here in the hospital telling her that _they _couldn't go to her step grandfathers birthday dinner.

"I don't want you going out by yourself." He insisted and Asher almost scoffed in his face. He'd never asked how she got the pink scar on her stomach, so she had never told him that she'd killed a man once. She hadn't told him that she'd decked a sweetbutt because she'd threatened her. If anything, she was capable to go out by herself.

"I'm going to my grandparents house, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Not in that deathtrap of a car Asher, anything could happen. I want you to stay home." Asher rose her eyebrow and clenched her jaw. The Camaro, like the tattoo and the scar were just another sore point in Camerons vision of the future. "I forgot to tell you, I got a buyer for the Camaro."

"I never wanted to sell the Camaro." Asher bit out quietly, trying not to make a scene in the waiting room of the hospital. "Look I can't talk about this now, can we do this later?"

"Asher…" she didn't give him a chance to continue his argument as she walked out the automatic doors, trying to quell the claustrophobic feeling in her chest.

"I thought you were gunna leave me hangin' out here baby girl." Asher turned her head to see Spanner sitting on a chair nearby, cigarette in hand and smiling up at her. In her anger at Cameron she'd completely forgotten about Spanner. "Hey whats up." She knew she must have looked pissed and as he stood up and approached she didn't miss the call of her name from the doors. "What's this fuckwit doing here?"

Spanner had never warmed to Cameron and Asher never really knew why. On Spanners sporadic visits Cameron was usually on his best behaviour around Spanner, despite his opinion of Spanners tattoos and attitude towards himself. Cameron prided himself on being a mature man that knew his girl would never leave him for someone like Spanner. Spanner however never took the high road. He always ignored Cameron when he was around.

"Hello Peter." Another of Camerons "taking the high road" things- full names. "What're you doing here?"

"Came to see Asher."

"Right, well I was just off. I'll see you later, Ash. I'll get some takeaway and movies for tonight." Asher rolled her eyes and stepped closer to Spanner.

"I'm actually going to go to Madsters, I'll get Pete to take me." She didn't miss the disgruntled look on Camerons face, but he quickly covered it, giving her a cheery 'okay' before walking back to the BMW.

"Dinner with Madster? I think I'd rather stab myself in the eye." Spanner said flippantly and Asher turned to look up at him with a smile on her face.

"Come on, it'll be fun. Besides Madster likes you, thinks you're a total babe."

"That, doll, is cause I am a total babe." Spanner replied, wrapping a fond arm around Ashers shoulders and she leant into him.

"And so modest."

"What's with the douchebag? Can't find matching jocks for his shirt so he can't take you himself?" Spanner asked, releasing her and heading back to the chair, leaving room for Asher to sit beside him.

"Pete…" She sighed, taking a seat beside him.

"When are you going to realise he's not good enough for you?" Asher shrugged. Cameron was good to her. He didn't close off, he cared about her. The worst thing he did was call her a bitch and a 'biker whore' when they got into a fight, but she could dish it out as well, most of the time.

"What and you are?" Asher said coyly, falling back into old habits with her friend. Spanners smile disappeared and he shook his head slightly.

"He's going to come and see you." Asher was sure she knew who he meant but asked anyway.

"Who?"

"He found out about the boyfriend…" Asher felt a scowl cross her face, knowing someone had blabbed. "Don't scowl at me – it was Kozik." Asher frowned. Kozik had visited her once or twice since she'd started working in the hospital, and when he'd found out about Cameron, he was far from impressed to say the least. It really didn't surprise her that he'd gone back and said something to Happy. Kozik was the only one that knew exactly what had happened with her and Happy. From the tattoo to that New year's she'd taken Happy home.

"It's not his problem." She lied. She knew as soon as Cameron had moved in that she was asking for trouble. Just because her and Happy hadn't defined their relationship, just because they were free to sleep with other people, didn't mean that she could move in with some guy and just pretend he didn't exist anymore.

"You know it became his problem the moment you were involved Asher."

"I have to get back to my shift." She said, ignoring his words and standing up.

"Aight, I'll pick you up at eight." Asher nodded and left him sitting there on the chair. Suddenly all thoughts of Cameron were pushed from her mind and she was back to thinking about Happy, something that hadn't occurred in awhile.

* * *

><p>Asher woke the next morning to a pounding headache and a pounding wall.<p>

"What the fuck?" Staggering out of bed she stumbled out into the living room and saw Cameron, hammer in hand, nailing a fucking photo of her and him at a birthday party a few months ago, right above the sofa. "What the fuck are you doing?" She asked, clutching her head and wishing for some painkillers.

The painkillers won out and she walked over to where she'd left her handbag on the kitchen bench and rifled through it, stopping when her hand landed on the cool hard butt of her gun. She vaguely remembered coming home last night, Spanner kissing her briefly on the lips, the way he always did these days, before leaving, and going scrounging around in her glove compartment of the Camaro because she had the drunken notion that if Happy came back, a gun would be the only thing that would stop him killing her.

Now she was sober and reality set in.

A gun wouldn't stop Happy.

Deciding she would promptly put it back in the 'not-for-sale' Camaro she found her stash of painkillers and swallowed two without water before turning around to face Cameron.

"Don't you think it looks nice?" Cameron asked and Asher looked up at the picture. She thought it was hideous. She had too much makeup on, no eyeliner though, because Cameron had insisted she go without. She'd been sick the day before and Cameron had forced her to go to the party, his mothers birthday, which explained the flowery dress she usually wouldn't be caught dead wearing.

"Take it down." She said, not putting up any fight and walking back down to the bedroom. Changing into some clean jeans and a sweater she walked back out to see the frame was still there and now he was arranging the photoframes on the cabinet beside the TV.

Who was the woman in this place?

"Something happen with you and Pete last night?" He asked, looking up from the photos.

"Thought you were taking the high road when it came to Pete." She said tiredly, walking over and lifting the frame from the wall and dropping it onto the sofa and walking away.

"What'd you do that for?" He asked, his voice high pitched and rushed over to the photo frame.

"I told you to take it down." She replied, pouring some water.

"Well I like it. And I take the high road with Peter and Herman and that Colin." Asher rose her eyebrows as he rattled off Spanner and Koziks real names, and Collie hadn't even really visited, just stopped by to drop off some things from his mother who still thought Asher was the one with the thing for Collie. "When we're married they won't be coming around."

Asher inwardly groaned, here goes the imaginary marriage.

"Can't bring up our kids around that kind of riff raff."

Riff Raff? Deciding it was time to nip this whole thing in the bud, Asher lied.

"I can't have kids." Cameron stopped straightening the ugly photo frame and turned slowly to look at her.

"What?" He choked and Asher scoffed. She clearly had missed something growing up in a world of Sons who had always told her that condoms were the best invention _ever_.

"I can't have kids- the scar on my stomach." She said gesturing to herself. He walked over and tried to take her hands, trying to comfort her.

"It's alright baby, we have options."

"I don't really want kids." She admitted. She couldn't really imagine raising children with Cameron. She would definitely take up drinking permanently. "Or marriage, or…" She looked around the apartment, "this." It was a heat of the moment thing to say, but she meant it.

She tasted the blood in her mouth before she realised what had happened.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

I figured you all would appreciate an update in thanks for all your reviews! I love waking up to lots of reviews . Thank you guys so much! Guess what happens now? x

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Nine – Unforgiven II<strong>

_Lay beside me  
>tell me what they've done<br>Speak the words I wanna hear  
>To make my demons run<br>The door is locked now  
>But it's open if you're true<br>If you can understand the me  
>then I can understand the you<br>what I feel  
>What I've known<br>Sick and tired of standing alone  
>Will you be there<br>Cause I'm the one that waits for you  
>Or are you unforgiven too?<br>__**-Metallica**_

**Sacramento CA **

**6****th**** August 2004**

It had been a long time since Happy had stopped in Sacramento. He navigated his way through the streets the address burned permanently in his mind from night upon drunken night, sitting there paper in one hand and phone in the other. Usually he went and found himself a blonde sweetbutt that loved being called 'baby girl' and fucked her senseless then decided the slut wasn't good enough and kicking her out of bed. Some nights it was just him and a memory.

None of them satisfied.

And none of them were her. That's why he had been so close to calling her, telling her they could sort something out. He could go Nomad for awhile, or he could tell the club. He was certain Kozik and Spanner knew something and Lorca had confirmed that he knew. It could work, he could have her home, waiting in his bed for him every night, biting her lip and watching him as he walked through the door. Yeah he could have gotten used to that.

He'd been about to leave for Bakersfield when Kozik had pulled in next to him and taken his helmet off. He'd leant against the handles of his bike for a silent moment before taking a deep breath and looking over at Happy.

"She's got a man, he's moved in with her and shit." He waved his hand for emphasis.

"Who?"

"You know _who._" Kozik had narrowed his eyes at him. "Spanner said he's a fuckin' douche. Pulled him up and told him Asher was marrying him so he needed to back off." Happy had felt his jaw tighten to the point of pain. "It ain't my place to do anythin' but Spanners going to say somethin'." Kozik said and Happy saw Spanner striding towards them, duffle over his shoulder and a determined look on his face.

Happy had made the trip down to see his mother and was on his way back to Sacramento before lunch. Now he was heading towards her apartment building, every intention of killing the little bitch. Just cause he let her sleep around, didn't mean he'd let her marry some douchebag that didn't have any respect for a patch.

He pulled the Harley in beside the familiar red Camaro and felt a small pang of something in his chest at the sight of it. The last time he'd seen Asher, driving away in it. He'd wanted to kiss her that day, show his brothers that she belonged to him and that no-one could touch her.

No one would touch her after today.

Storming up the stairs into the apartment building he followed another staircase up to her level and scanned doors until he found hers. Banging heavily on the door he considered just kicking it down when it came open and she was standing in front of him.

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him as he stared at her.

She was still the same, her eyes were surrounded by smudgy makeup like he loved them, a large grey sweater hung off her shoulder, and her jeans were torn to the point that he wondered why she still wore them. But that was Asher.

His Asher.

And his Asher had a swollen and bloody lip.

He snapped a hand out and grabbed her chin, pulling her closer without a word and inspecting the split lip, the nick just to the left of her bottom lip. She wasn't the kind of girl he thought would have let herself get beat on. She had a gun, why hadn't she used it.

He heard sounds in the background and realised the bastard was still there. Shoving her out of the way he stormed into the house, hearing her call his name, but he ignored her as he walked straight to the bedroom and found the blonde haired punk that looked too much like one of his patched brothers packing up suitcases. The blonde heard him coming and turned his brown eyed gaze on Happy.

"Who are you?" He asked and Happy saw the black bruising around the guys left eye and cheek. His nose had a bit of crusted blood underneath his left nostril and Happy smirked at the sight.

Turned out his girl was a tough bitch.

"I pulled a gun on him and told him to leave." A quiet voice said from his side and he looked down at her.

"Good girl."

"Learnt from the best." She shrugged and he felt a great surge of pride. This wasn't the girl he'd found scared in Los Angeles three years ago. This was the woman that had grown from the tough girl he'd known in Tacoma.

* * *

><p>Asher was asleep on the bed and Happy had left her there. She'd been exhausted and he'd found out, hungover from a night at her grandmothers with Spanner. He'd have to thank the little shit for getting her out of the house and preventing too much damage. It was almost nightfall and he'd managed to find an old bill that Cameron the banker had left behind with his address on it.<p>

Chancing a look in at the girl sleeping fully dressed on the bed, his SONS hoodie on he pulled his cut off and draped it on a kitchen chair, tucking one of his guns in the back of his jeans and putting the bill in his pocket. He was on his bike and cruising the streets of Sacramento minutes later. He parked the bike in the carpark a few blocks away and walked the rest of the way, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck in preparation.

He had learnt a long time ago that when it came to Asher he was more than willing to kill anyone that brought her harm. Reg Collins, Ainsley, Adam the idiot that had let Ainsley in, three Mayans from Northern Cali and now, now he was going to make sure that Cameron McEvoy never laid a hand on a girl again, especially his girl.

The foyer of the apartment was empty and he navigated his way to the elevator and up the two levels to the right level before striding down the carpeted hallway. The place was nice, and he'd noticed they had an underground carpark, and as he strode towards the door he spotted the garbage shoot. This lacked all the finesse of his usual kills, the ones that he did for the club were always planned. But he always paid attention to the finer details, like the garbage collection timetable that was stuck beside the elevator on each level.

He was going to take out the trash.

* * *

><p>Cameron McEvoy was a business man, a well respected member of the community, a loving son, a dedicated uncle and hell, he was a great boyfriend. Wasn't he?<p>

Asher Hayden had entranced him from the moment he'd laid eyes on her in that bar as she'd ordered tequila shots, flirting with the bar tender and batting her long eyelashes. It had taken a lot of nerve for him to approach her, because she had those bright blue eyes that spelt warning. His buddies had told him she had the kind of eyes that told you if it worked in your favour, you were in for a great time, if it didn't…well he hadn't found out, but he guessed it couldn't have been that bad could it?

That night she'd dragged him home and fucked him like he'd never been fucked before. Before the sun had risen he'd decided that it was the one night stand to end all one night stands. It was freaking awesome. Then he'd seen her in the morning and the way in which she scrutinised everything about him before taking a long drink of whiskey. The tattoo on her side had been tacky but he'd realised that she was the kind of girl that needed looking after. He knew if he looked after her she'd turn out alright, she'd turn out perfect.

His mother hadn't liked her at first. Said she was too quiet and that when she did talk she was too opinionated. He'd begged Asher to try to talk a little more, be more friendly, and maybe stop wearing so much black eyeliner. She looked a lot better without it.

He knew she had attitude, but that could be handled. He let it go when she fought him about getting the tattoo removed and when he'd moved in, she'd put him on the sofa after he'd told her he wasn't marrying some trailer park white trash.

Couldn't she see he was trying to help her? Give her a stable environment, make her the happy housewife he always knew she was.

A fixer, that's what his mother had always called him. Trying to fix things that couldn't be fixed, like his parents marriage, his brothers poor credit history, Asher Hayden.

But he'd nearly succeeded. He could see him getting closer to winning then one of those bikers would turn up and it was like taking three steps backward. She was back to fighting him. He'd tried to warn them off. Especially that Pete who had a funny look in his eyes whenever he was looking at Asher. He knew that men always looked at Asher, it was hard not too. But he knew she would never leave him for them. He'd given her a nice life, she wouldn't leave that.

That morning had been different though. He'd put all that energy into making a life for them and she decided to admit she'd been lying to him all along.

She couldn't have children. It had made something snap and like that, his hand had come up and backhanded her across the face.

Her hand had come up to her cheek automatically and she'd gaped. She'd never gaped at him before. He'd begged her to forgive him. He was just angry, he didn't mean it. And then as he'd reached for her, she'd pulled her hand from her face and punched him. Right in the face. His nose had started to bleed and his eye was throbbing when she moved quickly and suddenly there was a gun in his face.

"Get out." He'd said her name calmly, told her to put the gun down, but she didn't hesitate just held it up to his chest and set her jaw. "Get the fuck out of my house and take your fucking ugly picture with you."

It was like everything he'd worked for had disappeared and she was back to being a biker whore, wielding a gun and swearing at him.

His mother was right, he was a fixer of things that couldn't be fixed.

And now sitting in the recliner in his old almost empty apartment that Asher had insisted he kept paying rent on, he realised he'd failed. He couldn't fix Asher Hayden. No one could fix her. She was a lost cause- a biker whore.

The loud banging on his door made him lift his head. Maybe his mother had been worried about him after he'd called he reasoned, getting up off the recliner he walked across the polished wooden floors and pulled open the large door to come face to face with the man that had been in his apartment earlier, _not his apartment, _Ashers apartment.

"What do you want?" He asked, glaring up at the man. He knew these bikers in Ashers life were all talk. He'd pissed Pete off many times and the man had never so much as taken a swing at him. This one was probably the same, probably full of empty threats despite his huge figure, the colourful tattoos on his arms. His eyes were drawn to his chest where on the white t-shirt three letters were printed.

SOA

Where had he seen that before?

"Familiar?" He had a heavy, raspy voice that probably had something to do with a smoking habit and impending lung cancer. "I tattooed it on my girl so punks like you would know not to touch another mans pussy." He growled and Cameron snapped his head up. The man was right, he had seen it on Asher, woven into the tattoo on her side. The tattoo she refused to have removed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The man had been there when he'd left Ashers before, watching from the kitchen bench as he'd lugged his stuff out of the apartment, and as he'd made his way across the carpark he'd narrowly missed being hit by the flying photo frame out the window that had shattered to pieces at his feet.

This was the man that controlled Asher.

"What? You don't know how that damn pretty face of hers got all marked up?" He sneered and Cameron swallowed the lump in his throat as the chill went down his spine. This guy was not all empty threats, his instincts told him that much.

"I uh.." Cameron tried not to stutter. "She hit me too." The bald guy sneered, an ugly, terrifying sneer.

"That's cause you beat on her. Asher don't hit for fun."

"What do you want me to apologise? I can do that." Cameron tried to remain calm, not act afraid of this man, but he just sneered again and Cameron understood that it wasn't going to be that easy.

"How 'bout we go for a little walk." The guy said and Cameron glanced around quickly wondering where his phone was, maybe if he could get to it quick enough. "I wouldn't even think about it," Any plans to escape went fuzzy when he felt the unmistakeable cold muzzle of a gun pressed to his temple. "Lets go."

He was pushed along the hall, the door slamming shut behind him and he wished his neighbours didn't spend all their time in their high powered jobs and could come to his rescue. The man pushed him towards the stairs that he never took and he took one at a time, the gun aimed at the back of his head the whole time and his body trembling.

When they got to the ground floor, Cameron was certain he was going to be pushed out onto the street in and into the back of a van or something but the man shoved him forward.

"Keep going." He knew there was no escape from the underground carpark and reasoned that the man was hardly going to kill him down there where he could be found.

When they got to the huge dumpster at the rear of the elevator he changed his mind, this guy would kill him down there.

"I hear the garbage truck picks up here about four every Thursday morning." The man said and Cameron chanced a look around and saw him winding something onto the end of his gun. He'd seen enough spy movies to know that it was a silencer. "Up you go." The man flicked his hand with the gun in it upwards, gesturing for him to get in the dumpster.

Cameron looked around for an escape, his heart pounding in his ears.

"You can run," The man said and Cameron thought that that was definitely a good idea, "but I'll shoot you in the legs first, then the shoulders, let you bleed out a little then drag you in here and finish the job." He added and Cameron felt sheer terror rip through him at the way there was a chuckle to the mans raspy voice. "In." Cameron scrambled up into the dumpster and jumped down into the rubbish, for once not giving a shit about the stains on his Armani trousers. "Good boy."

The man was standing in a milk crate, towering over the dumpster, glaring down at him and Cameron felt something warm on his leg before the gun was raised to his head.

The last thing he thought of was that this was what his friends had been talking about if things with Asher Hayden had gone the other way.


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty - Islands<strong>

_I don't have to leave anymore  
>All that I have is right here<br>Spend my nights and days before  
>Searching the world for what is right here<br>Here I saw something I couldn't overlook  
>I am yours now<br>So now I never have to leave  
>I have been found out<br>So now I'll never explore__**  
>- The XX<strong>_

That morning he'd been in Bakersfield, and now he was riding through the streets of Sacramento, on his way back to Ashers place.

His mother had mentioned her that morning when he'd been standing in front of her large kitchen bench as she scrambled eggs. He knew she loved having him home, part of him wanted to tell her to cut her mothering shit out, but the part that adored his mother always won out and he sat down at the kitchen bench.

"So, should I ask if you're heading through Sacramento this afternoon." Happy had kept his head down, flicking through an old Harley manual he'd found in his old bedroom. "That girl still living there?" She asked, lighting a cigarette and starting the coffee machine. He knew she'd had the same ritual when his old man had been alive. Food, smoke, coffee. She never ate first, she always waited until him or his father had had seconds before she'd help herself. His mother, though she'd never been one was exactly what Old Ladys were meant to be. That's why is made him jerk slightly at the mention of Asher.

"What?" She hadn't mentioned Asher once since she'd met her.

"That girl, pretty, blonde, you brought her around here once." He knew she was being smart. Asher was the only girl he'd ever brought around. It was pretty hard to forget that.

"Asher."

"Yeah, where is she now?"

"Sacramento." He bit out, realising too late that he'd stepped right into her trap.

"So you've seen her?" The plate of eggs and toast was placed down in front of him but he didn't touch it, knowing his mother was expecting answers.

"She comes home sometimes." He swore he saw her smile. "Saw her a year or so ago."

"What's she do for a job?"

"Nursing." He knew he needed to start eating before he said too much, gave in and told her how much he was freaking out about the prospect that she might marry some banker all because he couldn't make up his fucking mind.

"Respectful job." Nora mused, puffing on her cigarette. "So are you bringing her around again or just going to let me sit here lonely for the rest of my life?"

* * *

><p>It was like a flashback as he parked his bike next to the old Camaro in the parking lot outside her apartment building. She was sitting on a low wall, those ratty jeans on and his hoodie on, the hood pulled up over her head, blonde tresses sticking out from it. She had her knee pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on top of it, black biker boots on her feet. It was like he was back in Tacoma and it was 1998. Her dark lined eyes were staring off into space, but when she heard him cut the engine she turned to look at him.<p>

That look sent a jolt a something through him. There was something in them.

"I hope you were careful." She said quietly and he stopped approaching her. Her eyes, she knew everything about him. He treated her like shit and yet here she was. She wasn't stupid, naïve, she'd walk away if she wanted to. She'd proven that she could look out for herself.

He clenched his jaw.

"Don't look at me like that." She hopped down from the wall and walked away from him, but he grabbed her arm. Walking away when they got to this point hadn't done them any good in the past. "Hap." It was a tired sigh, "We both know the rules." She looked up at him, those blue eyes watching him from under the hood of his jumper. He reached up and brushed the hood off her head, wanting to see her face.

"I thought we had an understandin'." He growled, the need to punish her still lingering there.

"And we did, but you left me hanging. Again. It's not like I can come back to Tacoma and be under your watchful gaze. I've got a job and a life here." His hand came up to brush her cheek, his thumb going under her eye. "A life I made for myself, by myself."

"I know." He did know. He was so fucking proud of her. She'd put all the bad shit behind her and even when it did come around she kicked it's ass. "You're a tough bitch."

"It's not good enough though is it?" Asher said quietly and he dropped his hand. "I was okay with doing whatever it was we were doing, but then you never came around and it was just like last time." She leaned forward and leaned into his chest, her ear over his heart. It was the most affection she'd ever shown him. He didn't know what to do, so he just lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, holding her to him.

His heart held a steady beat under her ear and Asher felt calm for the first time that day. It was like she was home again as the cool breeze whipped across the lot. She knew where he'd been, and instead of scaring her like it should have, it brought her comfort. Asking questions was something she was okay with not doing. She was warm and she was home.

"Let's go." He said quietly, pushing her away and she nodded, turning her back and walking towards the building. She could feel him close as she walked up the stairs, his breath practically on her neck. When she was finally in the apartment she waited to see what he would do after he closed the front door.

"Do you want something to eat?" She asked, turning around to face him.

"Yeah." She went to the fridge and pulled out some leftovers and put them in the microwave. She watched the plate spin around and around before it beeped and she pulled the container out, piling it onto a plate for him and grabbing a fork, sliding it across the bench to where he sat on one of the old barstools. "Thanks babe." Leaning against the counter Asher bit her lip, not letting on that she'd heard his slip. "You eaten today?"

"Yeah." She said quietly and turned away, searching for an apple in her overflowing fruit bowl. She stopped her search and leant heavily against the bench. "I know you don't want me to ask questions…"

"Then don't."

"Okay." Plucking a an apple from the bowl she bit into it, still not looking at him. She heard a resigned sigh come from his direction and the clattering of cutlery on china.

"What?"

"Camerons not coming back is he?" she said quietly and the plate shifted across the bench, still she didn't turn.

"That gunna be a problem?"

"Is it going to matter? If it upsets me are you really going to give a shit?" The reality hadn't set in that Cameron was probably dead, at the hands of the man sitting behind her. The man that had tattooed and saved her so many times, she knew disagreeing with him was not an option.

"I answered your fuckin' question, what the fuck more do you want from me?" Asher spun around to face him, livid that he couldn't even admit that he gave a shit.

"So what? You're gunna bump off every guy that touches me like Cameron?" She practically shouted. He was in front of her in a few seconds, the barstool landing on the ground with a loud bang before he had her pushed against the counter his hand at the base of her throat.

"The only man that touches you is me."

"You lost that right a long time ago Happy." She replied, taking a deep breath and refusing to back down.

"Yet here we are." He growled, his voice low as he pressed up against her and Asher tried to remain rigid but she still remembered the last time he'd touched her, how different he was to Cameron and her body arched into his.

"So what we're gunna fuck then you're gunna fuck off?" She asked, tilting her chin up in defiance, begging herself not to give in. She could feel the bulge in his jeans as he pressed himself up even closer, his hand moving around to the back of her neck.

"Ya you want me to go?"

"Hap." She knew she had to say something before they went any further, before she let him take complete control of her like he did everytime she was in his presence. "If you ever…" She held his gaze, determined to get it out, "I don't give second chances, if you ever hit me, you will never see me again."

* * *

><p>Her words were ringing in his ears as he looked down at her. A few hours ago he'd wanted to wring her neck for shacking up with that dickhead. And part of him still did, but this was Asher. Any other woman, would have backed the fuck down when he had her pressed up against the bench like he did. But not Asher.<p>

"That was a stupid thing you did, hittin' him back. He could 'ave done some serious damage girl."

"I was taught never to back down to guys like that." She said and he could feel the corner of his lip tugging. "I think you taught me that. Do we have an understanding?"

"Yeah, not makin' promises but."

"Yeah, well I'll be the one to keep my word then." She said, her blue eyes startling under the dim light and he felt a whole new level of respect for her. She'd never been some fuck, but now, now she was starting to be a whole lot more than anything he knew. "So you gunna make a move Killer?" She purred, cocking her head to the side and Happy realised he'd was still pressed up against her.

He couldn't help himself. She was his, she need to know that now. He pulled her to him, slamming his lips down to hers, forcing his tongue into her mouth, tasting the coffee and vanilla that always seemed to linger on her lips, like icecream. She tasted fucking awesome, every inch of her skin and body tasted sweet, and he didn't know why he kept staying away.

She didn't pull away, just fisted his shirt in her hands and kissed him back.

* * *

><p>It was raining when Asher woke up. And still dark.<p>

Asher sat up slowly and pulled the covers back, trying not to wake the person beside her. Over the sound of the rain and thunder she didn't think she would have to try too hard.

"What're you doing?" The gravelly voice that made her bite her lip. They'd forgotten the condoms again, but she'd become a lot more vigilant with her pill since she'd started seeing Cameron, determined not to get pregnant.

"Getting up." She replied looking around the floor for her clothes. Too pre-occupied she didn't even see the arm until it was wrapped tightly around her waist and pulled her into the bed.

"Lay your bitch ass down woman." He growled into her shoulder and Asher couldn't help but smile.

Tacoma Killer my ass.

Asher lay back down despite every rational thought telling her to get out of there.

"I love the sound of the rain." She said quietly and heard a grunt from the body beside her. Looking down at the arm that was pinning her to the bed she admired the artwork that stretched across her skin. Some of the people that had seen her tattoo had said that it was amazing had clearly never seen Happys. It was so intricate and full of colour and life that when the man himself didn't say much, his body did. "Hap." Asher laughed when he reached over and pulled her underneath him.

"Two months." He growled, leaning into her neck and she rose her eyebrow.

"What?"

"Two months too long for you to wait it out?" What on earth was he saying?

"Hap." He leant down and swept his tongue over her lips.

"I don't like you fuckin' 'round."

"I don't know what you're saying, please just spit it out." She begged. She was pretty sure he was asking her to wait for him, but she wasn't so certain.

"I'm fuckin' asking you to wait it out- _for me._" She bit her lip, knowing this was hard for him to ask.

"And the sweetbutts?"

"So now you're demanding shit from me?" He asked and she knew he was about six seconds away from pulling away from her.

"I'm not demanding Hap." She sighed, sweeping her hands over his tattooed shoulders, lingering her lips on his neck before withdrawing from him and seeing the darkness in his eyes. "I'm not asking for anything." She went to slide away from him but he held her fast, his fingers digging into her flesh but it wasn't violent and she could deal with it, it was what she liked about Happy.

"I don't ask questions about you, so don't do it to me." He rolled off her and lay on his back, staring at the roof.

"All you have to do is ask." He quirked his brow and she knew he was going to take advantage and ask her something she couldn't answer. Even if it was pillow talk…

"Your family…" he started but shook her head.

"That ones off limits." She could see the scowl on his face forming. "Try again."

"The gun?"

"From my uncle, the oldest one. On my mothers side." He nodded, his hand running up her thigh.

"Who taught you to use it?"

"He did. I was sixteen, both my uncles took me to a shooting range here." She saw his scowl curl into a smirk. "It was my second best Christmas." She added, hoping he understood and well aware that they were falling into dodgy territory.

"What's it doing in your handbag?"

"Spanner warned me you were coming." She wondered if she wanted to tell him it was a drunken notion she'd had and decided that he'd asked, so she was going to give him an answer. A truthful one. Propping herself up on her elbow she looked down at him, a smile playing on her lips. "I was drunk and I had this crazy idea that I'd kill you before you killed me."

"Take a lot more than that sweetheart." He almost laughed and she shrugged.

"Hmm." She said tiredly, knowing that she needed to end this almost 'adult' conversation before it ended in her thinking he was a complete asshole. She couldn't say she didn't try. He had to know his effect on her surely, didn't he know that all he had to do was ask and she'd be celibate for a hundred years. All he had to do was ask.

* * *

><p>AN: Happy New Year people! So please review! x


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-One – A Thousand Years<strong>

_I have died everyday waiting for you  
>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<br>For a thousand years  
>I'll love you for a thousand more<em>

And all along I believed I would find you  
>Time has brought your heart to me<p>

_-__**Christina Perri**_

**Sacramento CA **

**7****th**** August 2004**

Asher woke before him.

She was under a heavy tattooed arm and the feeling of calm travelled through her body as she stared at the skin. Dropping her head to the side she saw his face inches from hers, serious as ever, but he seemed a lot more relaxed than he had been before.

This was a new beginning in their relationship. She wasn't fooled, this wasn't a stable relationship, it wasn't normal. But nothing was normal about them. She'd been twelve when she'd met him, he'd been in his twenties, he'd tattooed her at eighteen, fucked her at twenty-one and hadn't kissed her properly until he'd taken her to meet his mother. Happy wasn't a traditionalist, and she liked that about him. It meant that he didn't mind not having an Old Lady to come home to, it also meant that he understood her well enough not to push her to move back to Tacoma.

Like that was even an option.

If she'd told him the truth last night when he'd asked, he would have left then. And she didn't want that. He was one of the only people that she would always choose over her family. Him and Sarah Stevenson were the two most important people to her firstly, then the rest of the world.

Cameron the banker had once said that she had a cold heart, that he was willing to stick around and warm it. But she knew that in reality she had a heart, years and years had left her with only enough room for two people in it. And one of them was lying here in front of her.

"I have to get to work." She said quietly, noticing that the rise and fall of his chest had sped up, signalling his waking up.

"Hmph." Asher couldn't help but smile as his arm tightened around her.

"Are you hangin-" She knew asking was a lost cause. He would be well on his way to Tacoma by the time she started work.

"We haven't finished talkin'." He growled and she smiled, biting her lip.

"If you come and find me at the hospital about three I can take a break."

"Hmph." He rolled onto his back and seemed to go back to sleep so Asher took the opportunity to slide from the bed, heading straight for the bathroom.

She was out the door and at the Camaro not long after, a skip to her step, because it seemed things were looking up.

* * *

><p><strong>Sacramento CA <strong>

**7****th**** August 2004**

"Okay, like this." Asher pressed the keys quickly and the girl beside her nodded in time. "You ready?" The girl, Tammie nodded and Asher lifted her hands, shuffling the paper in front of them before the girl began to play.

_Heartbeats fast  
>Colours and promises<br>How to be brave  
>How can I love when I'm afraid?<em>

Asher smiled at the girl as she continued to play. Tammie had had a heart attack at the ripe old age of fifteen and was just now recovering from having surgery. The cardiac arrest had been caused by a heart defect that was hereditary in her family.

Even though Asher spent most of her time with the cancer patients, she'd found herself drawn to Tammie. She reminded her of Sarah. Sitting at the piano bench with the teenager she knew that the girl had a familiar strength to Sarah. They'd both survived something that should never happen to someone so young. Even though the scars for Tammie were a lot more physical than Sarahs.

_To fall  
>Watching you stand alone<br>All of my doubt  
>Suddenly goes away somehow<br>One step closer _

Asher nodded along with Tammie, before they sung the chorus of the song together.

_I have died everyday  
>Waiting for you<br>Darling don't be afraid  
>I have loved you for a thousand years<br>I will love you for a thousand more _

The playing stopped and Asher looked over at the brunette.

"Have you ever been in love?" The teenager asked.

"I don't know." Asher replied shrugging. It was true. She didn't know what real love felt like. She'd never had a functional relationship with someone. From what she gathered love was meant to make you pine for someone, want to spend so much time with them, talk to them, about them, constantly. She'd never needed someone like that.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Why are you asking?"

"You know how I have to play this at school on Friday?" The song had been part of a showcase that Tammie had signed up for before she'd gotten sick. But now that she was better she was determined to do it. Show people that she was still strong. "There's this guy…he plays the guitar." Asher rose her eyebrow in interest. "We were hanging out before this happened…"

"You like him?"

"Yeah, but how do I know if he likes me back?" This Asher knew the answer to.

"You don't. We never know what the other people in our lives are thinking, no matter how well we know them." She remembered the times Happy had surprised her. This morning being one of them. "Asking them is the only way." Tammie smiled at this.

"Have you asked him?"

"Who?" Asher asked, confused at how this had become about her again.

"The guy you love, have you asked him how he feels about you?" Asher smiled slightly, sadly.

"How about we keep going?" Asher suggested and put her own hands on the keys, playing the first few notes before Tammie took over and began to sing.

_Time stands still  
>Beauty in all she is<br>I will be brave  
>I will not let anything take away<br>What's standing in front of me  
>Every breath<br>Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_

_I have died everyday waiting for you_  
><em>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<em>  
><em>For a thousand years<em>  
><em>I'll love you for a thousand more<em>

_And all along I believed I would find you_  
><em>Time has brought your heart to me<em>  
><em>I have loved you for a thousand years<em>  
><em>I'll love you for a thousand more<em>

"Hi." Tammie stopped playing and looked over Ashers shoulder at the door while Asher shuffled the papers in front of them. "Asher." Tammie said quietly and jerked her head to the door. Asher turned her head to see Happy leaning against the door frame, his white t-shirt on with his jeans, his face serious. "I think I've got it from here."

"Thanks Tammie." Asher stood up and took her glasses off and tucked them in her pocket before turning to face the man in the doorway. "Coffee?" He nodded and she led the way out of the hospital to the little café next door.

She ordered without having to ask him as he chose a spot outside on the street and lit a cigarette. They remained quiet until the waitress brought out their coffee and a piece of chocolate cake for Asher and a sandwich for Happy.

Asher couldn't fight the smile as she sat back in her chair and watched the man stub out his cigarette and start eating without another word. He was out of context in the tiny little coffee shop that she knew most eyes were on them, but that was Happy. He always drew attention, even when she knew he didn't want it.

"So?"

"Spoke to ya' landlord." He said between his mouthfuls and Asher rose her eyebrow. "Gunna get you a dog."

"I don't need a dog." Asher almost laughed. She knew he wasn't talking about the fluffy companion kind.

"A big one."

"Hap." She sighed but couldn't help the smile on her lips.

"I don't know how to do this shit, Asher, and it ain't good," He pushed his empty plate away and held Ashers gaze, "but it's right. Just let me look out for ya." Asher knew this was the most she was going to get from him about his reasoning.

"No German Shepards, fucking things shed everywhere." Tucking a hair behind her ear, Asher poured some sugar into her coffee and stirred smiling to herself.

"I know a guy…" She heard something shift and looked up as Happy dug her fork into her cake and took a large mouthful.

"Hey." A glimmer of a smile hit his lips and disappeared quickly and Asher pried her fork from his ringed fingers. "Hap." His face was stone again as he took his eyes from the food and looked up at her. "Thank-you."

"Don't mention it." He replied and snatched the fork before she could protest and Asher just leant back in her chair again and watched. If this was what she was in for she would take all the protection he wanted to offer. Tammies words came to mind and she bit her lip before speaking.

"What am I to you?" He swallowed part of his cake with a sip of coffee and looked up at her briefly before taking another one.

"What?"

"Am I just a protection detail and a fuck or do you actually feel something for me?"

"Don't ask fuckin' stupid questions Asher." He growled and she knew that was her point to decipher his words and stop asking but she didn't.

"You said we needed to talk, so talk." He leant forward and fixed her with a black glare.

"I don't do feelin's, girl and I don't do old Ladys." She cocked her eyebrow waiting for the rest. "Ain't it enough that I'm here?" Asher nodded and turned her eyes away, watching the people as they walked past. "Protecting ya had nothin' to do with it."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**8****th**** August 2004**

Happy didn't do feelings and shit. He certainly didn't do old ladies, but leaving Asher in Sacramento, a huge brindle pitbull at her feet made him realise that maybe he could do all those things. Thing about Asher was she didn't whine or try to tempt him back into bed when he tried to leave. She just got up, made him breakfast and when he was done she stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was a bold move he didn't like in women, but Asher wasn't just a woman. He was well aware of that now.

He'd be back there in two months. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that bitches like her didn't matter.

She'd gone and named the fucking dog Grumpy. The shit eating grin on her face when she'd presented him with the name was priceless. It was something he'd probably seen once or twice from her and somehow he knew that the worst was over.

He pulled the bike into the lot and pulled his helmet off sitting it on the handlebars. As if they'd been watching from the window, Kozik and Spanner came jogging out of the clubhouse.

"Yo Hap!" Kozik started just as the familiar sound of sirens came from the main gates and Happy turned to see the Sherriffs SUV pull into the lot, lights flashing. Climbing off the bike, Happy watched as Bill Hayden jumped out of the car and his deputy followed close behind as he strode towards him.

"Sherriff." Happy said, knowing Bill Hayden was scowling at him from behind his dark tinted glasses.

"Happy Lowman," Bill strode forward and unhitched his cuffs from his belt. "You're under arrest for the murder of Ward Tanner." Happy furrowed his brow as he was shoved towards the SUV. He could hear his brothers protesting as the cold metal bracelets snapped around his wrists. "You have the right to remain silent, anything you do say can and will be used as evidence. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be supplied." He was pulled from the hood of the car. "Comprende _Brother?_"

"You're kiddin!" Happy heard Kozik yell. "No way he killed anyone."

"Unless he's got an alibi, he's gunna spend the night locked up." Hayden said and Happy looked over at Kozik and Spanner who were watching him with question.

"Hap." He knew that he had motive to kill Ward Tanner. He knew it would be a long ass night in the cage. And if anything, rubbing it in Bill Haydens face would be satisfying. Lorca had given him permission a long time ago, and now he was going to play his card.

"Call her." He said to Kozik who nodded and both brothers were gone as he was pushed into the back seat of the SUV.

So much for waiting shit out.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Two – Titanium <strong>

_I'm bulletproof  
>Nothing to lose<br>Fire Away, Fire Away  
>Ricochet<br>You take your aim  
>Fire Away, Fire Away<em>

_Shoot me down  
>I won't fall<br>I am Titanium_  
>-<strong>David Guetta (Feat. SIA) <strong>

**Tacoma WA  
>8<strong>**th**** August 2004  
><strong>

"Hi." Asher leant over the counter of the police station and smiled sweetly at the older lady sitting there writing something on a pad.

"Hello sweetheart. Can I help you?" The woman asked, looking up at Asher from behind wire rimmed glasses.

"Is the Sherriff in?"

"Sorry, but he's very busy at the moment." The woman said sadly and Asher leant further over the desk, standing on tiptoes as she smiled at the woman.

"Oh, I just got the impression he liked to arrest guilty people and considering I'm here to provide an alibi for an innocent man, he might want to see me." She said as sweetly as she could and saw the womans eyes widen. "Why don't you page him and tell him Asher Haydens here."

"No need, I've got this one Gladys." Asher turned to see the Deputy, Sam, Steve, Sal…something with S. "Miss Hayden, Deputy Shaun Mitchell." The Deputy gestured for her to follow and Asher did so, following him down to a small office. "I thought you might be a lot more comfortable in here than an interrogation room, you know…." He said sweetly and Asher remembered him, a lot younger, sitting with her in the interrogation room six years ago.

"Thanks."

"Have a seat." He gestured to the padded chair and Asher sat down, crossing her legs in her short denim shorts, well aware that he was watching. "It's been a long time since I've seen you in town. Probably since the trial." Asher knew he was just trying to be nice so she forced a smile on her face.

"I try to avoid coming back." She leant forward, her elbows on her knees, letting him glance down the top of her tight long sleeved black shirt.

Happy was going to kill her.

"Miss Hayden,"

"Asher." She purred and he threw her a flirty smile.

"Okay, Asher. Maybe you would like to tell me what brings you here."

"I heard Happy Lowmans been arrested."

"On suspicion of murder, Asher, _again_." The deputy implored and Asher tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. "Do you know who Ward Tanner is?"

"No." Asher lied.

"Happy killed his brother a long time ago, before he was a Son. He and Mr Tanner have been at it since, he has motive and without an alibi, or any _witnesses_," Asher didn't miss the look, "he'll be trialled."

"Don't you need like evidence or something?" Asher asked, hating the way she was flirting her way through this deputy, when all she had to do was say she was giving Happy an alibi.

"We found a weapon that matches one that Happy usually carries, and wasn't in possession of." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat. She'd been ignoring the blatant fact that Happy had killed Cameron McEvoy but now it was starting to creep into her thoughts. Taking a deep breath she reminded herself she knew what she was getting into when she started things with Happy, missing guns and dead bodies were part of the deal with him. "He also doesn't have an alibi for last night."

"I can give him an alibi." Asher cut in. "I can swear black and blue that Hap didn't kill Tanner."

"Asher…" Deputy Shaun Mitchell sighed and Asher could see he was actually disappointed to have to tell her this. "With what happened with the trial you're alibi might not hold up. We'd need real evidence of it." He sighed and leaned forward on his desk and Asher sat back in her chair. "I know you think you owe Happy something, but you don't. Just let it go."

"He's innocent." Asher insisted. She knew he was innocent. He'd been in her bed, on her kitchen bench and once again in her shower last night and hadn't left until that morning. "I promise you, Deputy, Happy is innocent."

"Shouldn't this interview be held in the interview room?" Asher turned her head towards the new voice and saw her Uncle standing at the door, looking pissed.

"Asher was just…"

"I know what my niece was doing, Deputy. I am well aware of what Asher is capable of." Bill Hayden growled and Asher stood up to face her uncle.

"I heard my father was shot to death."

"What?" Bill seemed to lose his composure for a second.

"Yeah, that man that you've got locked up downstairs for a crime he didn't commit, kept your dirty secret from me. He didn't tell me that your brother had been gunned down by Mexicans, just like the criminal he was." She jerked her eyebrow for good measure, trying not to let the hurtful words she was saying register with herself. Her father had never been a criminal in her eyes. But it certainly did the job.

"Deputy, take her statement, if it holds up, let the biker go." Asher watched her uncle turn on his heel and stalk out. "Then get the little bitch the fuck out of my station." Asher turned back to see the surprise on the deputys face as he stood behind his desk.

"Why do I get the feeling you're scarier than you look?" He laughed, picking up a pad and pen and putting them on her side of the table.

"I'm not scary deputy." Another smile, for good measure.

"Write down any witnesses and numbers you can think of." Asher picked up the paper and wrote down her landlords name and number, knowing once he verified seeing both of them the night before and that morning he'd be released. "Where was Happy last night then?" He asked, sitting down and crossing his arms.

"In Sacramento."

"Doing what?" She gave him a sly smile, clicking the end of the pen with her thumb and tossing the pad and pen on the desk.

"Fucking me into oblivion." She didn't miss the shock register on his face before she stood up and turned on her heel and walked out of the office, towards the front entrance.

"Your carriage awaits." Spanner was standing at the bottom of the PD stairs, a huge grin on his face as he swept his arm out towards the bike behind him.

"Pete…" She knew she shouldn't be going to the clubhouse.

"Lorcas orders, baby girl. Hap'll wanna see you when he gets out." Asher rose her eyebrow. "Come on." Taking a deep breath she followed the biker towards his bike, even though the Camaro was parked down the street. It had been a long time between rides on Spanners bike, but she climbed on and held on as he maneuverer his way through the empty streets.

* * *

><p>She was in Spanners room, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She was hardly a vision. A short shift at work had meant she'd left Sacramento with her hair and her makeup a mess, and only a few changes of clothes in her bag which were still in the back seat of the Camaro, and hopefully Spanner had gone to get them. Wiping her middle fingers under each eye she tried to fix the runny makeup and suddenly wished for a drink, but knew she should wait until she saw Happy.<p>

"Here." She hadn't even heard the door open and she turned to see Spanner standing near his bedroom doorway, duffle bag in hand.

"Thanks, I should have just gone and gotten my car." She said walking over and watched him smirk.

"Got one of the Prospects to bring it 'round, its in the lot."

"You're too good to me." Asher said quietly, but not wavering eye contact with him. He had to know how important he was to her.

"Aw shucks." He feigned embarrassment, swiping a large hand at her but Asher batted it away, stepping up closer to him.

"I mean it Pete, I treat you like shit. This thing with Hap…" He reached out and ran a hand over her hair, something that would bother her from anyone else. His hand went to the back of her neck and he pulled her gently to him.

"I'm not stupid, baby. What you and Hap have…it's fuckin' weird, but there's somethin' right about it." She gave a small smile and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "But the minute he does somethin' you have to promise you get the fuck outta there, baby."

"I will." She'd made the promise to Happy two days ago that the moment things got violent she was out of there. She couldn't put herself through that- she didn't deserve it. Spanner pushed her away and grinned.

"Get somethin' slutty on, lets go show those sweetbutts what they're lackin'." He teased and Asher nodded.

"Just like old times?" She rose an eyebrow and he grinned even bigger if that was possible.

"Fuck yeah baby."

Watching him go, Asher went to the bathroom and got into the shower. When she was done she realised the shirt she'd initially picked out had a large stain on it. Wearing just her jeans and a bra she walked out and searched through the duffle. The bedroom door opened but Asher didn't look up, figuring it was Spanner. She didn't realise she was wrong until they cleared their throat and she looked up to see Riley in the doorway.

"Hey."

"What're you doing in here?" Riley asked and Asher stepped back, forgetting she was almost naked.

"Having a shower. Spanner let me in." She saw his jaw click. What the fuck was his problem- wasn't he married?

"Course he did."

"What the fuck is your problem?" She asked glaring back at him. "You know what- don't answer that. You don't owe me anything right cause you're a Son now. You don't answer to anyone." She snatched up her shirt.

"What the fuck is that?" Riley was in front of her, before she'd had a chance to pull her shirt on. "Who the fuck put that on you?" Asher swallowed heavily, having momentarily forgotten that she had the ink all up her side.

"I'm going to go." She got her shirt on, pulled on her boots and grabbed her duffle in record time, heading out of the room before he had a chance to yell at her.

She'd also momentarily forgotten that there was a party raging on out on the lot.

_Shit. _

"Hey, where the fuck are you going you whore!" She was out in the carpark among the crowd when she heard Rileys voice shout across it. Everyone stopped, even the boxing match over near the corner had stopped as they heard the patched member yell at her as she turned to face him.

Asher stood frozen to the spot in the middle of the lot, people gathered around as Riley glared at her, his jaw twitching and his fist flexing, sending muscle spasms all the way up his arm to the sleeve of his cut.

"I said, who are you fucking Ash?" He reached out and snagged her arm, wrenching her closer to his face but Asher refused to let him see her reaction. She really hated him. Hated that he thought he owned her after all this time, hated that he was cutting her down like this in front of people she knew. But most of all she hated what she had to do.

"I don't have to tell you anything." She replied quietly, keeping her voice calm, smelling the whiskey coming off Rileys breath and from his usually polite mouth. She could see people gathering around, other Sons, sweetbutts and hanger-on's, their gaze drawn to the dispute between the two blondes. Mouthing off to Happy had always led to rough handling, shoving on both parts, a lot of swearing and threatening at each other, but he'd never done what Riley did. Without a second thought, the boy that had followed her around for two years and she'd begged to man-up finally did, and backhanded her clean across the face.

Asher felt her head snap back and the metallic taste of blood soaked onto her tongue from her lip for the second time in less than a week.

"You're a fucking slut Ash, always have been, always will be." He sneered, but she didn't flinch. "You're just a whore for the club now."

"Break this shit up man." Asher heard Koz's familiar voice as he stepped in and pulled Rileys hand from Ashers arm with what looked like no effort at all. "Back it up." He ordered Riley.

"I hope she made it worth your while man." Riley sneered at Koz and Koz looked at the younger blonde incredulously.

"She's not your problem anymore kid." Lorca stepped up, putting a hand on his chest and pushing Riley back.

"Someone get this bitch out of here." Koz snapped, pointing at Asher who was still standing there ashamed. Her eyes scanned the crowd as she waited for someone to step up and come to her rescue. And just like she knew they would, not a single one stepped forward. Her eyes landed back on Koz and he saw the clench of her jaw, the way she refused to cry in front of them just because his brother beat on her. "Fuck Ash…" Koz said when he knew what was coming, "Darlin'…" She shook her head before he could finish.

"Fine." She muttered and started to stride away from them, out of Tacoma Auto with the solemn promise that she would never step foot in the lot again. No way no how.

"Fucking whore." Riley muttered as she stepped past and she lifted her chin gritting her teeth harder.

"Fuck you." She replied quietly and went to walk away, so over the Club and all it's sexist bullshit. Not to mention she'd had to put her neck on the line for one Club Member in particular and now she was really paying for it. She actually questioned whether Happy was worth it.

"Where the fuck are you going?" A gravelly voice called out to her and Asher stopped, knowing exactly who it was. Hating him for calling her out right here in front of his brothers.

"Home." She bit out, not turning her head.

"Bitch, you're going the wrong way." Happy replied and her brow furrowed. _What the fuck? _Turning around she saw Riley still glaring at her, Koz holding him back and Happy standing off to the side, everyone elses eyes on him, fresh from the Tacoma Sherriff Department lock up. Happy, satisfied that she'd stopped, turning his attention to Riley. "You got a problem with her being here _Brother_?" He growled out and Rileys jaw twitched.

"You fucking her too Hap?"

"Been fuckin' 'er a long time kid." Happy replied, taking the cigarette from his lips. "But-" He said, jabbing a finger towards the Prospect, "I'm the only one fuckin' her, got it. You got a problem with it- you take that shit up with me-" he pointed to the boxing ring to his left, "in there. Hurt her again I'll kill you." Riley seemed to contemplate it for a moment, but he'd be stupid to go up against Happy, not when he was as angry as he as at that moment.

"Yeah, man." Riley nodded, stepping back and Koz dropped his hand from his chest, nodding to Happy before gesturing for the rest of the boys to leave Happy and Asher alone. Asher clenched her jaw and tried to suppress the tears. She would not cry in front of Happy, or anyone for that matter.

"You alright, baby girl." He said stepping forward, the endearment sounding almost like an insult.

"Fine." She bit out as he snatched her chin between his thumb and forefinger and inspected the damage.

"Get inside." He said jerking his head towards the clubhouse and she cocked an eyebrow, not wanting to obey him, but went anyway.

* * *

><p>AN: As always review! Hope you enjoyed! x


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

**_Thank you all so much for your reviews! They are amazing. It took me awhile to be happy with this chapter thats why it took so long. I know where I want to go and everything it's just so hard trying to make it right on paper how it is in my head. Anyways you can all thank HapsOldLadylove for this update- you should all take note- if I start slacking off - let me know! Thank you all! x_**

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Three – Space Bound <strong>

_I'm a spacebound rocket ship  
>And your heart is the moon<br>And I'm aiming right at you  
>Two hundred and fifty thousand miles<br>On a clear night in june  
>And I'm aiming right at you<br>__**-Eminem**_

**Tacoma WA**

**8****th**** August 2004**

"Looks like you have an alibi." Bill Hayden stood in the front of the cell as Happy lay stretched out on the little bunk. "Landlord confirmed it, so did some fuckin' dog breeder." He sat up slowly and leant on his knees as he looked at the Sherriff. "Guess you're free to go Happy."

"Guess so." Happy felt the tug at his lips as he stood up and the Sherriff held the door open for him.

"I hope you realise Asher's going to fuck you over eventually." Bill said quietly as Happy passed, causing him to pause, "She fucks over everyone." He didn't bother giving the fucking douchebag a reply. It was a similar threat to the one that Frank had given him last time he was in jail. And like with Frank, he knew to ignore it. The difference between the Hayden brothers and himself:

He actually gave a shit about Asher.

The lady, Gladys, behind the desk handed him his belongings and he met Koz out in the carpark smoking a cigarette. He offered Happy one and he took it, lighting it quickly and inhaling deeply. The seven hours he'd spent locked up were seven hours too long.

"Sherriff looks pissed." Koz said nodding towards the PD where Sherriff Bill Hayden was standing at the front door glowering at him.

"Yeah…" Pissed didn't cover it.

"Well brother, there's a party awaiting. And a fuckload of sweet tail." He winked and Happy chuckled slightly. There was one bit of tail he was hoping was going to be hanging around.

* * *

><p>Now he looked back on the day, he couldn't fathom how he hadn't hesitated when it came to asking Kozik to put the call in. Call Asher to get his ass out of jail again. But he had enough self preservation to know that without Ashers alibi, he was going back to jail again. It didn't matter that he hadn't seen Ward Tanner since his day in County six years ago, the cops needed a scapegoat and he was one with a very good motive. And that, that would bring the Feds back- asking questions about Ainsley and then the discovery of Cameron McEvoys body probably would have him locked up for even longer.<p>

Asher had asked him if he'd been careful the night he'd killed Cameron. It had kind of scared him that she hadn't shown any remorse for the death of her boyfriend. Was she completely devoid of feeling something? Or did she actually understand him – did she know he'd done it because she was his?

"Hey," Kozik was swinging on his bike when Happy called out to him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for callin' her man." Kozik shrugged.

"Don't sweat it." Happy nodded, thankful that his brother hadn't asked what he'd gotten up to in Sacramento. He'd been the one to send him there in the first place, so he guessed, Kozik knew what had happened. Swinging onto his own bike that had been brought down by Donut who was now in the white SAMTAC van, he started his bike and looked forward to getting home, to Asher.

* * *

><p>Putting a brother through a plane glass window was a serious matter, so was putting three bullets in a brothers face. Especially a brother who's father was still a member. Especially over some pussy.<p>

Even if that pussy had yet again kept him out of jail.

But he was sick of all their sneaking around. Riley was married, Spanner understood and he couldn't give a shit about his club obligations now that they'd failed to help him out, having to rely on someone to do their dirty work. Because that's what it was. Dirty work. She could end up in jail for some of the shit she'd done for him. But everytime without fail, she was the one that was there to pull him out of whatever hole he'd gotten into. And hell if he was going to let a punk ass like Riley Stevenson beat on his girl.

As he watched Asher stalk back to the clubhouse after the showdown, he went to find Riley who was being flanked by two Prospects, in an attempt to protect his stupid, woman beating ass.

"Fuck off." Happy growled to the two Prospects.

"But Lorca-"

"Now." He growled and watched the two of them scamper away.

"Hap-" Riley held up his hands but Happy did something he hadn't done in a long time. He pulled his arm back and sucker punched him, right in the jaw. Riley stumbled back and clutched at his jaw, but didn't make a move to go after him.

"She ain't yours." He said, jabbing a finger in his direction and turned on his heel, walking away from the blonde, satisfied that he'd done enough damage to keep Riley Stevenson away from Asher.

"Brother." Lorcas voice made him stop his exit and he took a deep breath before turning around to face the President noticing the blonde man standing beside him. Clay Morrows brother- he didn't know his name, but he knew he was high up in the Irish mob in Cali. He also did a lot of dealing with the IRA which probably explained his presence in their clubhouse. "I told you to keep it away from the clubhouse." He said quietly. "Fuck…" Happy watched his President turn his back and walk away. He took that as his cue to go and find Asher.

* * *

><p>She was sitting on the edge of his bed when he walked into his room, the duffle at her feet. Asher looked up from her hands, her blue eyes watching him as he closed the door and leant against it. His eyes went straight to the bruised and bloody lip that had been nearly healed that morning when he'd left her in her apartment in Sacramento.<p>

"You shouldn't have done that." She said quietly, and he knew what she meant.

"I'm sick of hidin' this shit from my brothers." He replied, pushing himself away from the door and shucking off his cut. He watched as she swept a hand over the comforter on his bed, before she bit her lip and turned to look at him again.

"About that…"

* * *

><p>Asher had been sitting there alone with her thoughts for about ten minutes before he'd walked in. But it was long enough for her to look around the dorm room and envision her life if she stayed in Tacoma. If she stayed with Happy.<p>

Even though she wanted nothing more than to jump him when he walked through the door, she forced herself to sit there and wait for him to be free of his guns and cut before she asked him.

"You could never give up the club could you?" He was hanging his holster on the chair and she swore he was about to pull a gun from it and shoot her, the look he was giving her. "It's your life right?" He didn't say anything, just scowled and she prodded her split lip with her tongue as she waited for a reply. "Hap?" he didn't say anything still and she had her answer.

She had officially crossed a line with him.

"I'm going to go." Standing up, Asher grabbed her duffle and slung it over her shoulder. "I'll be at the cabin if you need me." She walked past him and he reached out and snagged her arm.

"Why did you stay with him?" His voice said quietly and Asher sighed, a little surprised that Happy had asked about Cameron, but understanding all the same.

"I think I just wanted someone that could be there when I needed them. Someone that wasn't going to choose some club over me. All this club has done has done is hurt me. I've made you break so many rules- you think they're going to accept me being with you after Riley? Do you think Lorca's going to want his Killer playing house with some girl that has done nothing but cause trouble for him?" She could see his jaw tightening as he realised she was right. "I'm not stupid, Hap, it's better off for everyone if I'm not here."

He was standing in front of her now, reaching up to pinch her split lip but she didn't wince. There was no point. She was in enough pain, the lip was nothing.

"So that was all for fuckin' nothin'?" He growled quietly and she felt her heart break a little bit more.

"Yeah I suppose it was…" She'd been hoping that it wasn't just about making a show of who owned who. She had been hoping he actually gave a shit about her welfare.

"Fuck." He dropped his hand and stepped back, running a ringed hand over his head.

"I'm sorry Hap."

"Your Uncle said you'd fuck me over." He said quietly and she swore he sounded almost defeated and very un-_Happy_.

"You of all people should know I would never fuck you over. " The words had struck a chord in her and she felt a surge of anger. After all the years and the things they'd done for each other. "I'm doing this for your own good you jackass. If you hate me, so be it but fuck you if you think this is me trying to hurt you. This is me protecting you." Without another word from the Tacoma killer she spun on her heel, surprised that she got all the way out of the room, then the building then the carpark without him stopping her. It also caused what she imagined a heart attack might feel like, but that was nothing when you were running for your life.

* * *

><p>"Fuck!"<p>

The huge brindle pitbull bounded from the bed and barrelled out of the bedroom. Asher sat up quickly, listening for another sound besides the wind hitting the side of her grandparents cabin. Reaching into the nightstand she wrapped a hand around the nine millimetre she always kept close by before swinging out of bed.

"Grumpy?" The dog hadn't been barking, and she swore guard dogs were meant to bark. Maybe he was mauling the intruder. But there weren't any sounds of a struggle, just steady footsteps.

"Don't hurt yourself." She yelped with fright and spun around to face the huge figure lurking in her hallway.

"Jesus fucking Christ." She gasped before bringing a hand up and slapping him in the chest. "I could have shot you in the fucking face or something Hap! Do people not knock anymore?"

"You didn't hear me."

"Where's my dog?" As if on cue, the huge pitbull wandered up to them and sat down beside Happy. Asher glared at the traitorous beast, shaking her head. "What're you doing here?" She could smell the whiskey on his breath, but that was just one of his trademark smells, like cigarettes and aftershave and leather.

He shrugged and Asher rolled her eyes, turning her back on him and walking towards the kitchen, flicking on the light and putting the gun down on the kitchen bench. The bottle of whiskey that she'd used to put herself to sleep was sitting on the bench and she picked it up, grabbing two glasses and sitting down at the kitchen table, pouring them each a drink.

"So." She looked down at the glass and swirled around the liquid.

"I let you get away with too much shit." He said, taking a seat and Asher gave a small smile.

"Would it make you feel any better if you knew I would do it anyway?" This got a small chuckle from him and she remembered what she'd said to him earlier. "I'm sorry about what I said." He was quiet. "I was angry."

"You were right."

"About the Jackass bit, yeah." She saw a flash of teeth and knew she'd earned a smile from him, but it was stern again and she knew he was thinking about what he'd said about letting her get away with too much stuff. "What did my Uncle say to you?"

"Nothin' you need to worry about." He replied, his voice low and she knew whatever it was, it had pissed him off.

"Just remember he's a Hayden. They're cunning. " She saw that smile play on his lips again, "I would know – I am one."

"Got that right, Hooker."

"One day I'm not going to take your insults old man." Brushing a strand of hair from her face she narrowed her eyes at him but kept the grin on her face. "So, should I ask?"

"Ask what?" He sipped the whiskey again and she took a deep breath.

"Who killed Tanner?"

"Dunno."

"I just bailed you out, Hap, don't lie to me. I'm well aware that you stretching out your stay in Cali had nothing to do with me." His brow rose but he never lifted his head. "Who did it Happy?"

When he rose his head he fixed her with a fierce glare that had turned his eyes black in the dim light. This was the man that she would do anything for, but she'd noticed it in the last few days, the difference. He'd become harder, less of the man she used to know, and becoming more the man that people feared. One day, she would never get away with talking out of turn like this with him. In a few years he would have no hesitation pulling his gun and threatening her. But that was the man that she would sacrifice everything for. She owed him that much.

"None of your fuckin' business." Asher rolled her eyes, knowing that this would be her answer.

"Aight." She drawled, cocking her eyebrow and swallowing the rest of her drink. "Too heavy for us. We sound like an old married couple." Standing up Asher leant over the table and pried the glass from Happys hand as he watched her, a small tug to his lip. "Why don't you give me something to last me two months, _Killer._"

* * *

><p>Happy turned his head and watched the rise and fall over her chest as she slept. Her sleep shirt had ridden up over her stomach, his ink on full display on her side. His own ink clashed with hers as his arm stretched over her stomach, tanned skin against ivory skin. Moving his hand he placed the palm of it flat over the scar on her stomach.<p>

His little tough bitch had saved him again. And smart bitch knew exactly what she was doing when she did it.

Ward Tanner had had it coming for a long time. When Lorca had gotten a call saying that he'd shown up there, everyone agreed it was time to get him out of the way. Asher only knew the short story, the beginning of Happys shit with Ward Tanner. In 1992 the youngest Tanner brother had been causing trouble dealing Heroin in clubs all around Tacoma. Ward was just muscle, making the most of little brother Jacobs knowledge. That night they'd passed him at the door, he'd been talking to the manager, one of the younger bouncers cleared their ID's and let them in.

Instinct was what had had him keeping an eye on them for the rest of the night, and they knew it. But the moment he turned his back, Ward had hit a patron and pulled a knife. Everything kind of blurred from there on out. Next thing he knew he was up on manslaughter charges.

Being chivvied by Ward Tanner wasn't a blur though. And neither was stabbing his attacker in the stomach…again. And just like the scar that the little cluster of happy face tattoos on his torso covered, Ward Tanner became a pain in the side for him. Ward had taken over the Heroin trade in Tacoma and not as business savvy as his little brother, had made a fair few enemies, the Sons being one of them.

Blue had made it known that Happy was to stay away from Tanner, and that's how he'd become Lorca's offsider after doing time with him.

The one night in County he'd spent with Ward Tanner, they'd circled each other like lions in the fray. Tanner had gotten leaner, faster, Happy had just gotten smarter. Happy had been ready for a confrontation when the guards had hauled him out.

All because Asher had stepped in and paid his bail.

Three years later, had been responsible for the death of a young high school girl and Happy knew it was the right thing to do. Not because his brother had stepped up and ended what Tanner had started years ago, but because that girl could have been any girl. It could have been fourteen year old Sarah Stevenson, or a few years ago, it could have been Asher.

But Happy had been called, that day when he'd gone to the hospital to see Asher. Lorca had called and said it was going to be done and told him to stay the hell away from Tacoma.

He would have been better off heading back to Bakersfield or Charming. It was only a matter of time before Cameron McEvoys body was found and everything was linked back to him.

To Asher.

"Yo," He nudged her hip with his large hand, "wake up, baby girl." He watched her eyes flutter open and look around confused before he climbed out of bed and got dressed.

"Hap?" She rasped and he turned to look at her, buckling up his belt. "What's going on?"

"You gotta get back to Sacramento."

"I know."

"When the cops ask- what'ya gunna say?" He asked, already knowing that she understood what they were talking about. Why had she left just after Camerons death? Why was she with a Son?

"I've got it Hap. Don't worry."

He stopped moving and watched her reach for her clothes. Didn't she know all he worried about was her? She was prone to trouble. She wasn't an MC bitch but she seemed to have a target on her back.

"I ain't worried."

"Yeah, whatever."


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

The song used for this one was originally sung by Crowded House- but Boy and Bear are one of my favourite bands ever and I went and saw them the other day- this song had an entire music festival singing along =D !

**To the most awesome reviewers ever- **sorry about the lack of updates but thank you all so much for your reviews. I'm sorry for not getting around to messaging everyone but as usual I'm sure you'll appreciate an update more than my rambles. Please ask any questions, and make sure you thank **HapsOldLadyLove** who is always looking out for me! Okay on with the show!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty – Four – Fall At Your Feet<strong>

_I think that I'm beginning to know her  
>Let it go<br>I'll be there when you call  
>Whenever I fall at your feet<br>You let your tears rain down on me  
>Whenever I touch your slow turning pain<br>You're hiding from me now  
><em>_**-Boy and Bear**_

**Sacramento CA **

**25****th**** November 2004 **

Asher swung her hips to the music playing through the apartment as she tied her hair up into a ponytail and stripped off her pyjamas. The shower was starting to steam up as she wrapped a towel around herself and went in search of a new bottle of shampoo.

Looking through the pantry she froze when there was a loud knock at the door before turning her head to look at the heavy wooden front door. What the hell? It was seven o'clock in the morning. Grumpy barked from his spot on the couch and Asher threw him a questioning glance. Usually the dog was on his feet and at the door by now. Clutching her towel to her chest she walked slowly up to the door and stood on tiptoes to look through the peephole, a large smile spreading across her face when she saw who her visitor was. Flicking all the locks she pulled the door open.

His jaw twitched when he took her in, standing there in her towel, still clutching it close to her chest. Asher leant against the door and softened her smile slightly, trying not to seem too excited. That was always the game.

"Hey." He leant against the doorframe, his arm supporting him as he leant over her, his eyes lingering on her chest.

"Answering the door naked now Hooker?" He growled jerking his head slightly.

"Only for you Killer." She replied softly, leaning forward and tugging at the fabric of his hoodie to get him inside the apartment. He wrapped an arm around her waist and spun her around as he grabbed the door and slammed it shut, pressing her up against it. Without a word he brought his hand up to tug on her towel, pulling it from her body. "Hap." She said softly, trying not to blush as his brown eyes travelled over her body. She'd put up with the pawing from Riley and the other club members, been the butt of a lot of dirty jokes and never once blushed, but the moment he lay eyes on her bare skin the blood rushed to her cheeks.

He didn't say anything, just brought his large hand across her collarbone, his thumb pressing to the skin softly at the indent on her clavicle before he continued his teasing, his breath in her ear as he watched his hands journey down to the ink on her side.

"We've got to be at my grandmothers by ten." She warned and saw his lip twitch. "By ten." She warned again, her hand clutching at his hoodie. "Not after ten, not ten -" He cut her off when his lips were on hers, hungry and demanding forcing her head back by tugging on her ponytail and burying his large hand in her hair while the other one gripped at her hip, the fingers digging into her flesh.

* * *

><p>That morning, Happy had gotten up earlier than usual. He'd made an effort to shower, find clean clothes and get on his bike to start the short journey to California. That morning- he'd been confident. If that was even possible for someone like him.<p>

But Asher did that to him.

Most days she made him curse her name, hate her for not sticking around and being such a weak bitch, but days like this one- they reminded him why he was doing this. Any bitch that answered the door in her towel and looked so fucking sweet got major points from him. Not to mention, two months ago she'd fended off the cops questions about Cameron. He didn't know how she did it. But it made him appreciate her even more.

The time between seeing each other had involved a few text messages, no real talking , not until she'd called him three days ago and asked him to come to California for Thanksgiving.

"You want answers, Hap, this is your chance to get them." She'd said quietly into the phone after he'd said he'd think about it, before she hung up.

* * *

><p>Asher massaged the shampoo into her hair as she stood in front of the shower spray, the hot water blasting onto her stomach and running down her legs no doubt bringing out the bruises on her skin. Cold water would have been a better option, she might have been able to wear a short dress but now she was reduced to something long courtesy of Happy.<p>

She heard the sliding door on the shower open and turned around to stick her head under the spray as the man himself stepped into the cubicle with her.

"You aight'?" He asked watching her wash the shampoo out of her hair.

"Fine." Asher replied, cocking her head to the side slightly, she was so pleased to see him, after two months. "Why?" he didn't answer instead he brought his hand up to brush over the bruise on her ribs.

"Got a bit rough…." He sighed, "again." Asher reached down and yanked his hand from her ribs, lacing her fingers with his.

"I can handle it."

"You ain't made of stone baby girl." He replied quietly and Asher gave him a bright smile. It was in the moments after that he showed he cared and she loved it. "I can break you."

"Its worth it." She promised, leaning up and pressing her lips gently to his before pulling back and smoothing a soapy hand across his chest and tugging his hand with her other, pulling him under the spray, standing on her tiptoes so that she could reach his lips. "I promise."

"You think I lost respect for ya?" He said pushing her away and Asher furrowed her brow, brushing the hair away from her forehead.

"Huh?"

"You're gettin' all needy and shit." He growled, and Asher clenched her jaw. Wasn't she allowed to miss him? Wasn't this what he wanted?

"I don't need shit from you." The tug of his lip told her that was the right answer. "You ain't my keeper, _Killer." _

"That's my girl." She let out a squeal as he pushed her up against the wall, his mouth hungrily finding hers. And she made the most of it, because as far as she knew, this was the end of everything so perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**25****th**** November 2004**

"Wow this looks sweet, Courtney." Spanner said, sitting down at the huge table in the clubhouse next to Collie.

"Thanks Spanner." Courtney replied sweetly, smoothing her dress down over her swollen stomach.

"Yeah looks good baby." Riley placed a kiss on her cheek and sat down on the other side of the table, as his wife sat next to him. Spanner could see Collie sticking his finger down his throat in disgust and tried to fight the urge to laugh at the usually composed man.

Spanner had always liked Collie, even if originally he'd been a bit weird, with the stalking and all. But after you got to know him, he was good quality. His stalking skills had gotten him a Private Detectives license and when he wasn't too busy chasing down bail jumpers and scoundrel husbands he was willing to give the club some help. Especially when it came to leverage.

Their latest leverage being found in a brittle haired hooker that had been able to keep up her mortgage payments since the mayor had met her in a bar on Main. The same mayor that was trying to get the Sons shipped out of Tacoma. Hell everyone knew that, but what everyone didn't know was that unlike the Mayor, the Sons had the backing of Sherriff Bill Hayden.

"Where's Happy?" Collie asked quietly as the rest of the Club sat down and began talking loudly.

"Where'dya think?" Spanner asked as he took a long sip of beer. As far as most of the club and the Sherriff were concerned, Happy was on his way to Bakersfield to spend Thanksgiving with a woman Spanner was sure was probably scarier than the Tacoma killer himself. But he, Collie and Kozik were well aware that their brothers secret agenda was in Sacramento. "Havin' dinner with the _Family_." Spanner smirked at the thought of Happy meeting the family that was apparently scarier than SAMTAC. It dawned on him, after many years, that he was sitting next to a Private Detective, a man that was equipped with giving him the answers to the questions he'd had for years. "Hey, you know anythin' 'bout Ashers family?" Collie rose his dark eyebrows before turning his head away quickly and picking up his glass of whiskey.

"Nuh."

"You're full of shit, Col, this is fuckin' Asher Hayden. Whatdya know?"

"There's a reason Asher didn't want anyone to know about her family, lets keep it that way." Collie hissed back and Spanner leaned in closer, getting the vibe that Collie had questions about the answers he'd found.

"What is it Col?" The guy turned to look at him, his brown eyes wide and Spanner waited.

"I didn't find shit on her family." Spanner rose an eyebrow, "But she wasn't using her real last name when she was in LA."

"Huh? Don't most people use their mothers maiden names?" Spanner asked, remembering an episode of CSI he'd seen.

"Yeah, that's the weird part."

"Yeah?"

"Got a pen?" Collie asked quietly and Spanner shook his head, watching as Collie waved down a passing sweetbutt and asked her to get a pen. When she returned he nodded her off and Spanner smirked at his friends dismissal before he remembered that the mystery about Ashers family was about to be revealed. "I'm not risking having Lorca kill me." Collie explained as he picked up a paper napkin and wrote on it quickly before folding it and handing it to Spanner.

Willing to go along with Collies paranoia Spanner took the serviette and flipped it open after checking no one was watching and felt himself choke when he saw the name on the napkin.

"Shit man."

"What?" Collie leant forward and Spanner shook his head in disbelief.

"I gotta call Hap."

* * *

><p><strong>Sacramento CA <strong>

**25****th**** November 2004**

"You're late."

"I know Madster, I'm sorry." Asher put on her best innocent face as she smiled at her grandmother. "I brought dessert." Holding up the cardboard box that held the apple pie in it up. "and another guest." She added quickly as she heard Happy approach. His phone had been ringing on the way up the stairs and Asher had breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him turn it off before getting to the door.

"If you weren't my granddaughter Asher Hayden…" Maddie trailed off when her eyes landed on the man beside Asher, her eyes drawn to the tattoos on Happys exposed arms.

"Maddie," Asher said sweetly, using her free hand to gesture to the man beside her, wearing jeans and his hoodie and minus his cut, "this is Happy. Hap this is the best grandmother in the world, Maddie." Maddie shot a disapproving look at her granddaughter.

"A Son?"

"A friend." Asher corrected.

"Your uncles won't be impressed Asher." Maddie warned, taking the pie from her granddaughter without acknowledging the biker beside her and spinning on her heel to stalk away.

"She's not usually like this." Asher said quietly, looking up at Happy who shrugged.

"It's 'kay."

"No, its not." She squeezed his arm briefly before stepping over the threshold with Happy on her tail and closing the door. Happy waited for her before following her into the main living room where the rest of her family were waiting.

"Ash!" Uncle Tony bellowed with his thick Italian accent before sweeping Asher up into a hug. "How are you , bella? Keeping out of trouble?" he asked, grinning out from under his dark moustache and Asher pulled back from him.

"Always Uncle Tony." She stepped back to stand beside Happy. "This is my..." She stopped herself realising her slip before continuing, "This is Happy. " Uncle Tony, always the more polite one extended his hand to Happy who shook it, his sleeve sliding up to reveal some on the ink on his arms.

"Nice ink." Happy nodded, retracted his hand and gave a small twitch of a smile. "How was your grandmother?"

"Bitchy." Asher replied quietly.

"She's stressin' about your uncle being late, don't worry about her Bella. You know how she is with the _wife_." Asher narrowed her eyes at Tony. "Come in and meet the rest of this crazy family." Uncle Tony said, turning his attention to Happy. "You want a drink Son?" Happy nodded before Uncle Tony disappeared.

"Your mothers brother?" Happy asked and Asher shook her head.

"No, you have yet to meet him." Asher said, biting her lip to hide her smile. "Uncle Tony is Madsters second husband. It doesn't feel right to call him grandpa." She explained before the Italian man appeared and thrust a clear glass of amber liquid into Happys hand.

"Your grandmother wants you in the kitchen Ash. I'll introduce Happy here to cousin Katie." Asher shot her pseudo uncle a death glare and he just grinned before ushering her off. Feeling all kinds of wrong about leaving Happy alone with her family Asher headed to the kitchen to find her grandmother fussing with a turkey.

"On a scale of one to ten how angry are you?" Asher asked watching Maddie tuck her greying hair behind her ears.

"I'm not angry Ash. Just worried." The woman stuck the turkey back in the oven and turned around to face her granddaughter. "How much older than you is he?"

"Fourteen years." She heard her grandmother sigh. "Come on Madster, it's not like we're serious."

"You don't bring some guy to thanksgiving dinner with your family when you're not serious." Maddie replied, handing over a potato peeler and a bowl of potatoes. "And that _man _out there, he's all kinds of serious sweetheart." She said with a knowing look. "So much like your grandfather."

"Madster, are you crushing on my date?" Maddie smiled devilishly about to say something when the doorbell rang.

"Go and get the door. It'll be your uncle and _her._" Asher rolled her eyes and put down the potato peeler.

"One day you're going to have to get over this."

"Over my dead body." Asher heard her reply before heading to the front door and pulling it open to reveal three people standing on the other side.

"Uncle Clarence!" Asher beamed, wrapping her arms around the large blonde man that hugged her back.

"Hey kid." Her uncle laughed hugging her back before retracting himself and looking at his wife.

"Hey Aunty G." Her aunt gave her a disapproving look before holding out her long arms expecting a hug.

"Asher Hayden, still spreading your legs wherever you go?"

"Learnt from the best." Asher replied, hugging the woman despite her bitchy tone and pulling back to assess the other guest who was standing there wearing a white t-shirt watching her with blue eyes. "Haven't seen you for awhile."

"Leave him alone." Her aunt replied and Asher shrugged and gestured for them to come in, taking the cardboard box from her aunt as she passed. "It's pie."

"Fancy that." Asher replied with a smile, shutting the door and rushing ahead of them to prevent the carnage that was about to follow. "Just before you go in there…" She said holding up her hand to stop her relatives.

"What is it Asher? Did you spike the punch again?" Her uncle sighed used to her antics.

"No…" Asher said incredulously.

"Well?"

"I'm twenty-four you need to have some more respect for me, Clarence. Besides pretty sure it was cousin Katie this time." Seeing the pointed look her Uncle was giving her Asher sighed. "I brought a friend too, and you know him."

"Not that stupid kid of Blues." Her uncle sighed and Asher cringed when she heard a familiar voice call her name.

"Hey, your cousin just tried to…" Happy trailed off when he saw who was standing in front of Asher.

"What the fuck?"

* * *

><p>AN: TA DA! Hate me?


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

**Reviewers! You know I love you all hence the update. I'm so sorry for my slackness but I'm sure once I start studying again there will be more chapters due to procrastination so don't give up hope! Thank you all so much! **

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty – Five- Skinny Love <strong>

_I told you to be patient  
>I told you to be fine<br>I told you to be balanced  
>I told you to be kind<br>In the morning I'll be with you  
>But it will be a different "kind"<br>I'll be holding all the tickets  
>And you'll be owning all the fines<br>__**- Bon Iver**_

**Sacramento CA **

**25****th**** November 2004**

"Did I forget to mention my Uncle is the President of Redwood Original?" Asher asked looking sheepishly up at her date.

"Asher Hayden, what the fuck is Happy doing here?" Her aunt snapped and Asher saw Happy go immediately to the defensive. Stepping around in front of Asher to face up to her aunt and uncle much to her protests. "Oh Jesus, you're fucking Happy." Gemma sighed and looked around at the blue eyed man behind her who was smirking at the scene in front of him.

"You" "Clay pointed to Asher "and you." Then Happy, "Outside _now._" Asher rolled her eyes and palmed the cardboard box off to Gemma before heading towards the door, not waiting for the others before stepping out onto the large porch.

Asher leant against the porch railing of the old American style home, her head tilted back, leaving the skin of her neck exposed all the way down to the neckline of the grey tank she had on, tucked into a long flowing flowered skirt. She looked like she belonged in the seventies, all carefree and innocent. But his girl was far from innocent and now he felt uneasy how this had gone from alright, to shit hitting the fan. Asher didn't even look at him as he clenched his jaw and turned his head to watch the Redwood Original president step out onto the porch.

It was the first time Happy had ever seen him without his cut, but he still radiated danger, especially as his ice cold blue glare fell on him.

"What the fuck are you doing in my mothers house, _brother_?" He asked, surprise evident, but anger also.

"It's not his fault." Asher spoke before Happy could reply and both men turned to face the blonde as she leant against the railing.

"You stay out of this _girl._" Clay replied, jabbing a finger in Ashers direction and turning his attention back to Happy.

"No." Ashers voice was confident and she shifted to stand in front of Happy, looking up at her uncle. "We're not in your clubhouse anymore," Happy could see the jerk of her head as he watched the back of it, the black, blonde and silver streaks of her hair shaking loose of her messy bun as she spoke, "Happy has as much right here in this house as anyone."

"What'dya…" Clay started, and Happy wanted to shut her up, he just wanted to leave. But the possessiveness he had for Asher kept him rooted to the spot. Not to mention it was kind of hot watching her stand up to her uncle. He knew if this was anywhere else, he would stop her backchat.

"She's right, Clarence, Happys family." Happy had been so focussed on Asher he hadn't even seen the older woman come to the door and scowl at her son. "Without him, we wouldn't have our girl."

"Our girl?" A deep chuckle came from behind and Happy felt like a caged animal as a familiar blonde haired man walked up the stairs.

"Your brother is being an asshole AJ." Asher muttered and Happy turned his attention to the man standing on the stairs. Suddenly a whole lotta shit clicked into place.

He'd been dragged into a fucking outlaw convention.

"Come and look after your mama boys." Maddie said loudly and with a few swearwords both blonde haired men followed her into the house, leaving Asher and Happy standing on the porch.

* * *

><p>Asher could feel him breathing down her neck, and she was a little nervous about turning around to face him. She hadn't been planning on it happening like this. She was hoping for a little more finesse. But like with everything with the man behind her – nothing went to plan.<p>

"So…" Turning around to look up at him she was faced with a familiar look.

Anger.

"Your uncle is the mother fucking charter president?" He spat, pointing at the door but Asher refused to flinch. At least he hadn't left, yet.

"Yeah."

"And that's Asher Junior, as in the fucking Irish Mob!"

"Yeah. His wifes Irish."

"Jesus fucking Christ. The fucking mother charter president!" He was starting to rant and Asher reached out to touch his arm but he jerked back, his eyes black with hate.

She'd always known that this would be his reaction. There were some things you couldn't do. For someone like Happy who the club was everything, this was one of the worst things he could do. That's why she had never told him. She had never told anyone.

"You fuckin' lied to me." She cocked an eyebrow at him. He had always known that there was something about her family. There was a reason why SAMTAC were always looking out for her. There was a reason why she was safest in Sacramento where her family was.

It was because it was one of the most dangerous families in California.

A mixture of mobsters, bikers and soldiers. And now they were all there for thanksgiving and she'd introduced her…Happy to them. And fucked it up.

"If that's what you think." She replied quietly going to turn away but his large hand wrapped around her wrist.

"Asher." Turning back to face him Asher smiled softly, trying to convey that she was sorry.

"I'm not one of _them, _Hap." She had to chuckle as she remembered the shit they'd been through. The stuff she'd survived and he'd always stuck by her, it was always her pushing him away. But right now, the tables were turned. All because she'd taken him to meet her family. "I get it if you have to leave."

He nodded and she knew.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah…" He seemed to contemplate something before nodding again. "Me too." Then he let her wrist go and jogged down the stairs. She watched him walk until he was out of sight before taking a deep breath and turning around to face the door.

"I'm sorry baby." Her grandmother was standing there and Asher shrugged.

"It's fine." Asher pasted a fake smile on and nodded as if trying to convince herself that she was really _fine_. "He had things to do." Maddie nodded and reached out for Asher, pulling her into her arms and Asher let her, having not been hugged properly in a very long time. She buried her face in her grandmothers shoulder and tried not to cry.

"He'll be back my girl, men like him can't stay away from us Morrow women." Maddie pressed a kiss to Ashers head and stepped back to cup her face. "Come and have some turkey." Asher followed her grandmother inside and closed the door behind her, not bothering to look down the street to where Happy had gone.

* * *

><p>Asher had a bottle of red wine on the table beside her and the glass in her hand as she sat on the front patio of her grandmothers house. Inside, loud laughter and talking could be heard. Even without being in there she could imagine the scene inside. Clay and AJ would be sitting at the kitchen table, fighting over who won what when they were kids, both of their wives Bethany and Gemma would be sitting at opposite ends of the living room, avoiding each other. And Maddie would be watching on with amusement. That's the way her family always ran.<p>

"Hiding?" Asher looked up and saw her uncle AJ standing in the doorway. Of her two uncles she always liked AJ the most. He was what she imagined Asher Senior had been like. Stern, and serious most of the time, but a wicked sense of humour when he was relaxed. Having a few kids also made it easier for him to look out for her.

Remaining silent, Asher poured another glass of wine and turned back to the back yard.

"Katies meant to be the one that makes stupid decisions." He said, walking around and sitting down across from her, beer in hand. Uncle AJ was blonde haired and blue eyed like all the Morrows, but his face despite his age was more youthful than his younger brothers. Clay had relied on his brawn and a Harley to get him through life, AJ had used brains and his charm to get him to where he was. All these years later it was Clay looking down at arthritic hands and a past full of secrets and AJ was living in a fancy house in Sacramento with five kids and a wife that treated her like a daughter. As much as Asher loved Clay and Gemma, she had different beliefs than them.

"You think I'm stupid?" She asked without looking at him. She heard a sigh from her uncle and saw his head shake side to side.

"Nah, you ain't the kind of girl that doesn't think about things girl." He pulled a large cigar from his pocket and lit it before puffing out smoke, "I was in Tacoma a few months ago and saw him hit that kid of Blues." He added.

"He what?" Asher looked over at her uncle with surprise. Happy had never said anything about hitting Riley. But then again, as she'd realised a few months ago, Happy kept a lot of things from her. That's what this had been- it had been the beginning of getting all the secrets out in the open, and what an epic failure it had become.

"I don't get this whole MC thing with carin' more about your fake brothers than the women in your life. God knows I wouldn't be anywhere without Bethy, and my brother can't tie his fuckin' shoe laces without Gemma." Another puff of the cigarette and Asher smiled at the realisation that AJ had probably downed about half a bottle of whiskey before getting up the nerve to come and talk to her. "Clays pissed cause you're putting pressure on the club. Happys not some dipshit prospect, you and I both know he's a fuckin' killer. And killers with feelings are more dangerous than those without." He didn't wait for her to speak, just stood up and stuck the cigar back in his mouth before pulling it out again. "What I'm sayin' baby, is watch your back." Asher nodded as she watched him retreat back into the house.

She'd known that from the start.

Taking another sip she took a deep breath before looking up.

And there he stood in all his tattooed glory.

Asher bit down the anger that was simmering away after all his bullshit, especially after all she'd been through for him. She had once hoped she meant more to him than some girl. She'd once hoped that he would choose her in the end and in reality she knew the truth.

It had been a test, and now he had to make his decision – the club or her.

Another sip and she looked down at her feet and pretended he wasn't there.

"Shit ain't right baby girl." She remained silent. She was well aware that their 'shit' was anything but normal. " I don't like bein' kept in the dark about shit like this."

"Cause heaven forbid you finally feel like I do." She muttered.

"What'dya just say to me?" He snapped and Asher lifted her head to glare at him. She never had any intention of revealing how much she knew, but he was being a prick and it was about time he was pulled from his high horse.

"When they pulled me in after finding Camerons body, I became a suspect because apparently it was the second guy linked to me that had gone missing." Asher took a deep breath to calm her rapidly beating heart. "Adams mother reported him missing after I'd been shot."

"So? Kid took off."

"I let you lie to me about plenty of things Hap, but believe me when I say this is not something you want to test me with." Keeping her face poker like and her voice stern, Asher kept her gaze on Happys unmoving face.

"What'dya want me to say? Seems like you already got all the answers."

"They're not your answers though, are they?" She levelled with him and watched him run a hand over his shaven head. "I just want the truth, Hap."

"Well I ain't giving you shit."

"Fine." His attitude was giving her the shits. "I just thought after all the times I'd bailed you out, you could show me the same fucking respect." She stood up and slammed the glass down on the table, ignoring the red liquid splashing all over the wooden table. "I gave you a chance, I'm not doing this anymore. You want your club- take it, I'm not going to stand in the way anymore." Turning her back on him she started for the door but heard his raspy voice call her name and stopped, her hand on the door knob.

"Don't come back." He sneered and she had a rush of feeling that she hadn't had in a long time as she turned around and glared at him. He wanted her scared. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"What're you going to do about it?"

* * *

><p>AN: REVIEW!


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all for your reviews! Sorry I didn't reply to them - but as usual I'm sure a update is better =D. This chapter goes back to how I originally started writing this story so I hope you enjoy it! x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Six - Freshmen<strong>

_For the life of me  
>I cannot remember<br>What made us think  
>That we were wise and we'd never compromise<br>For the life of me  
>I cannot believe<br>We'd ever die for these sins  
>We were merely freshmen<br>__**-The Verve Pipe**_

**Tacoma WA **

**15****th**** December 2005 **

Sarah Stevenson was fifteen. Blonde, blue eyed and innocent. At least that's what people thought and Sarah wasn't going to correct them.

Sitting outside the Sons of Anarchy Clubhouse, behind the Tacoma Auto, Sarah blew smoke out from between her lips and watched people walk past with disinterest. Some were customers, others were club members, and then there were the sweetbutts. The whores that hung around the clubhouse. She didn't like them at all and she didn't have to. She was SAMTAC and they were just hang arounds.

Without moving her head she felt a cold shiver go up her spine and didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.

"You want somethin' kid?" The gravelly voice asked and Sarah shook her head slowly.

"No, just waitin' for Koz." She said quietly and watched out of the corner of her eye as the huge tattooed biker walked past and headed into the clubhouse. There were days when she wanted to spend every minute in Happys presence, the constant reminder of safety and strength that radiated off him made life easier, sometimes. Days like today, it just reminded her of what had happened seven years ago, not so far from there.

After the attack, she'd been hurt and scared, but she hadn't understood the severity of what had happened. It wasn't until she was thirteen that she started getting the nightmares. Vivid colours and flashing lights and Ashers screams and the popping of a gun that had her gasping for air when she woke. But sometimes it was easier to be asleep then awake. The hushed tones of her parents talking and the looks from the other club members were getting tired and old. The only person that didn't treat her any different was Kozik. He was always willing to teach her things and when she asked, and really was her only true friend. People always assumed the worst, no one ever thought that maybe Koz needed a friend as badly as she did.

Except Happy. He never made any comments about their friendship and Sarah wondered if maybe it was something to do with him and Asher. Not that Asher had a great reputation in the clubhouse anyway. The only person people spoke worse about than the sweetbutts, was Asher Hayden. Some called her a slut, others called her a traitor and Sarah always wondered why everyone hated Asher so much. From what she knew, Asher had helped Happy out a lot more than the club had. And maybe that was it- maybe the club didn't like the hold Asher had over Happy, or the fact that she was often more reliable than themselves.

"You're going to die young kid."

"Better than dying old and ragged like you." Sarah replied, smiling at the blonde who had just appeared.

"Come on, driving ain't gunna learn itself."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**15****th**** December 2005 **

"Come on, Sarah. We've been going out for like three months now. I love you." Sarah stared off into space as she sat on the parkbench in front of the skatepark, watching the kids play in the playground.

_I love you _

"You mean it?" Sarah asked, looking up at Cade, the brunette quarterback she'd been dating for three months now. He was hot, sweet, popular. He was perfect.

"Course I mean it baby. You're the hottest girl at school."

_Hot_

"I love you too, Cade." She said quietly, wondering if this the time she should tell him, tell him the truth about her.

"Well then show me." He pleaded and she looked into his perfect brown eyes and nodded slowly.

"Okay, but there's something I need to tell you first."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**16****th**** December 2005 **

People were naïve. Sarah had learnt that a long time ago. People lived their sheltered lives and if anything bad penetrated that protected shell then they fought back…or ran. She'd never considered herself as naïve. But she'd been sheltered beyond belief. Only recently her parents had started letting her go out without someone always lurking in the shadows to protect her. It seemed that they were more scared of her getting hurt then she was of being hurt. And as much as she had hated them for it then, now she understood. Because when people were confronted with the truth, they got scared and they reacted.

And if a reactions what she wanted, that's what she got.

Monday at school was hell and all because one boy that she had trusted enough with her secret had gotten scared…and run to the entire school.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**16****th**** December 2005 **

Every club had their veteran members. Redwood had Piney, and Tacoma had Blue. Blue was nowhere near Pineys age, but he still had an outlook on the club that most members didn't. Not the younger ones anyway.

Sometimes, especially now with the pressure from the Irish mounting, Happy found himself seeking Blue out for advice or just to hear an old timers story. It wasn't something he would admit. Most of the time, he'd just ignore his advice anyway, preferring Lorcas approach, but that was a bond between a sponsor and his Prospect. But Lorca was getting pressure from Redwood, which meant Happy was getting pressure from Lorca, because it was his damn fault Clay Morrow suddenly had it in the for Tacoma. Because he'd been stupid enough to fuck MC royalty. And Lorca had warned him to stay away.

Fucking Asher Hayden. One day he was going to forget about her, but until then, her memory just drove him to prove himself even more. He'd worked his ass off doing runs and special 'jobs' for clubs all over the country. Clay would have no worries about his loyalty to the club as long as he proved himself.

But in the meantime, he needed the veteran to look him in the eye and remind him why it was worth it. Blue was the only one of the entire club that he had seen choose family over the club. And days like this when he wanted nothing more than to see that little blonde bitch and have her give her one of her smiles that he knew she fought so hard to hide. It was Christmas that always did that to him. Reminded him of that first Christmas out of jail when she'd come home and he'd spent the night wrapped up in her.

He kicked the stand down on the Harley and pulled the helmet off before looking around the deserted street. It was a street filled with memories for him. All those years and all those memories that he didn't like admitting he had. What kind of killer would he be if they knew that just this street had a crippling effect on him. From that birthday party where he'd seen her smoking out her bathroom window from this exact spot to the time he'd found her passed out with exhaustion on her kitchen floor.

Tacoma memories were the worst, Sacramento ones were a little better. Spending three days with her the year before and buying her that dog that she'd been a smart ass about and named Grumpy. The last year, the anger had slowly dissipated to nothing more than an ache in his heart wondering whether he'd made the right decision in walking away and leaving her for the club. The club was his life, but she'd saved it countless times and days like this, he was reminded of that.

Walking up to the front door he saw Blues big truck parked in the drive and continued his journey up to the front door. Politeness had him knocking but the door swung open and knowing Blue he'd be in the study, pouring over old Harley Manuals or something boring as shit like that he walked in, the loud music blasting through the house an indication that one of Blues kids were home. Walking through the halls that in the last few years had become a lot more familiar, he reached the study and looked in to see the room completely empty.

"Blue!" he called out, looking down to the kitchen but couldn't see anything so he kept walking. Hunter instinct had him moving slowly and quietly. But he came to a dead stop when he heard the splash of water and looked down to see the carpet beneath his boots stained with moisture.

Turning to his right he saw the bathroom door, the door that Asher Hayden had once opened to find him getting blown by some sweetbutt. He didn't miss the rhythm of his heart pick up or the pang in the base of his throat that signalled panic. He didn't know why it happened, but he was opening the door in seconds only to stop dead on the water soaked tiles.

* * *

><p>"Quit stallin' brother and get the fuckin' thing out." Koz growled as he glared up at the younger man who had that familiar shit eating grin on his face as he inspected the nail protruding out of his brothers hand.<p>

"Dude you look like the Biker Jesus Christ." Spanner chuckled as he shook his head and Kozik envisioned sticking that same nail in the younger mans pretty green eye.

"Get it out." He bit out instead, momentarily forgetting the amount of pain he was in.

"You were the stupid fuck that slapped your hand down on the table."

"You're the stupid fuck that left nails lying around."

"I'm building a fuckin' table Herman." Spanner teased back and Kozik took a swipe at the huge smartass but stopped, realising his good hand currently had a three inch nail sticking out of it. "Here hold still." Koziks eyes widened as Spanner produced a pair of pointy nosed pliers and brought them up to his hand. "Still." Spanner said again, but it was him that jumped when the door behind him slammed and he whirled around to look at Donut standing behind them.

Kozik didn't miss the horrified look on his brothers face as he looked at the scene in front of him.

"Don't worry brother, I'm the anti-christ." He joked but swore he saw Donuts face pale even more.

"It's Sarah." He choked and all rational thought left Koziks mind as he stood up. He'd fucking seen this coming a mile away. He'd been waiting for this day for nearly seven years. "She's in the hospital. They say…" Kozik didn't need to hear the details. He knew her, she was like his own kid. He probably knew her better than her parents, that's why he had seen this coming. Why he had warned them so many times. Why three months ago he'd called Asher Hayden and told her she needed to come back.

But she hadn't.

And now this had happened.

"They say she tried to kill herself, man."

* * *

><p>AN: Well?


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

**Sorry they've been so far between and kind of short! I know what I want to do, just trying to keep up the motivation so I'm sorry! Hope you enjoy this one and thank you all for the wonderful reviews x**

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Seven – Wires <strong>

_Running, down corridors through, automatic doors  
>Got to get to you, got to see this through<br>I see hope is here, in a plastic box  
>I've seen Christmas lights, reflect in your eyes<br>You got wires, going in  
>You got wires, coming out of your skin<br>There's dry blood, on your wrist  
>Your dry blood on my fingertip<br>-__**Athlete **_

**Tacoma WA **

**16****th**** December 2005**

The automatic doors barely had time to open as Asher ran through them. Her heart was pounding furiously as she continued through the corridors, slowing down to a fast paced walk as she went past the nurses station before breaking into a run again.

"Hey! No running!" Someone yelled, but she didn't care, she just kept on going, not slowing down until she saw them. They turned their heads as they heard her approach and Asher felt her stomach plummet at the sight of them. Happy and Riley- both looking solemn as they stood there, Kozik sitting in a chair nearby and Lorca pacing the corridor, stopping to stare at her.

Automatically Ashers eyes went to Happy. His white t-shirt was stained with blood and she felt sick. Her head felt light headed and she knew she needed to sit down, but not before she knew what had happened.

"Is she…?" They were silent. It was Riley who broke the silence.

"She needed a blood transfusion." Asher felt herself sway slightly, but someone righted her, Kozik it seemed had gotten to his feet. Asher stared up at him. He was always the obvious protector of Sarah. She adored his silly jokes that she was too young to recognise as the same way he flirted.

"Hey, she's alright JB." Koz said, holding her shoulders and giving her a stern look. Asher nodded. "Her parents are in there, no-one can go in." Her eyes left Kozik and drifted to Happy standing off to the side, quiet as usual, blood on his hands, as usual. "I'll get you a drink." Kozik said but Asher barely heard him. All she knew was seconds later it was just her and the Tacoma Killer. Her watching him, him watching the ground.

"Hap…" What was she going to say?

_What happened? _

_Are you okay? _

_I'm sorry._

"Save it." He growled out and her face softened, her breathing easing slightly. "Just...not now Asher." She didn't need to look around to know that there was no one coming, she knew Happy and she knew by the look on his face that this was killing him.

"Hap." Striding forward she reached him and before he could do anything she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight. She'd missed him so much. Every inch of him. He smelt like leather and aftershave as she buried her head in his chest and silently begged him to wrap his arms around her. But he didn't and after a few seconds of silence she pulled away and turned her back on him, going down the hall to find someone who could help her.

* * *

><p>She was walking towards reception when she heard her name and she turned to see Blue leaning against the wall behind the coffee machine. She didn't move, just stood staring at the man that had practically raised her. Part of her was furious- how had he not seen this coming? Part of her was breaking as she took in the broken down man that had once led one of the fiercest charters of Sons.<p>

"Asher." He said her name again, this time quietly, the pain evident in his voice. Asher didn't say anything. Just stared at him. "What have I done?" This seemed to break the silent spell Asher was in.

"It's not your fault." Asher said quietly, trying to fight every instinct that said it was his fault. Her life was full of failing fathers, but Blue wasn't one of them. If anything, he'd protected his daughter from all he could. Sometimes you couldn't save everyone, right?

"It is. I should have been there. Just like I should have been there to pick her up early that day." He said quietly, slumped against the wall. "She's my little girl and I failed her."

"Feeling sorry for yourself won't fix anything."

"Asher." She knew the warning tone anywhere. Looking over her shoulder at Happy who had materialised there, she inwardly winced before turning back to Blue.

"It's not your fault." Then taking a deep breath she kept walking, out into the fresh air. Finding a empty bench on the grass she took a seat and slumped heavily into it as she stared out into the hospital grounds. She was there for a good five minutes before a foam cup was held out in front of her and she looked up to see the tattooed biker standing over her.

The Tacoma killer reduced to getting coffee for the bitch that betrayed him.

* * *

><p>"You want it or not?" Happy couldn't help the way it came out, or the slight shake to his hand as he held the cup out to the blonde. Asher took the cup and he nodded before sitting down beside her. "I found her you know." He said after a minute of silence.<p>

"I know." He watched her lip tug slightly. "You seem to have a habit of doing that." He swallowed the lump and the words that threatened to tell her that it was because of her, yet again that he'd been there.

"Yeah…"

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked turning her blue eyes on him and he felt a slight ache in his chest. Those blue eyes knew everything about him.

"Nah." He saw her nod before she went back to staring at the coffee in her hand. "You?"

"Nah, I think we both get the gist of what this means." She said quietly and he nodded this time. Yeah they did. Of all the people in Sarahs life, they knew this had been coming. Blue and Liz had refused to getting her counselling. They'd sheltered her for as long as they could and she'd hidden her secret too long. Of course she was going to have intimacy issues. They of all people understood that.

Happy and Asher sat in silence then until Riley came out to stand in front of them, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot as he looked between the two of them.

"She's awake. She wants to see you both." He cleared his throat and headed back to the door and Happy watched him go, seeing Courtney waiting for him at the door.

"Aight." Happy stood up and looked down at Asher beside him. "You comin'." She shook her head slowly and looked up at him.

"Not yet."

* * *

><p>Asher was still sitting there when Kozik walked out and sat down beside her. She didn't need to look up to know it was him, his halo of blonde spiky hair was evident in her peripheral . So was the bandaged hand. He didn't sit as close as Happy had. The hostility was radiating off him though.<p>

"Hap won't go in there, he's waitin' for you." Asher didn't say anything in reply so he took it as his cue to talk. "I've been thinkin'…"

"Don't take up new hobbies Koz."

"Ah, and there's the jailbait I know." He chuckled despite the circumstances and Asher smiled slightly. "And there's that pretty little smile of yours."

"You're a charmer you know that?"

"Well aware darling." She watched him rub his fingers over the bandage on his hand. "I ain't as stupid as people think I am." Asher turned her head to look at him, cocking an eyebrow with interest. "Blue and Liz ain't gunna listen to me, doll, but you…" He sighed and Asher watched the heavy slump of his shoulders, "are like a daughter to them."

"What're you getting at Koz?"

"I know you got the transfer to Seattle." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat. She'd wanted to tell Happy first. Spanner was the only one that she'd told. Him and his big mouth…

"Before you start thinkin' of ways to kill Spanner, it wasn't 'im." He clearly knew it was coming. "Collie runs a check on you occasionally…for you know who." Ashers eyebrow went higher, but she didn't reply. "Point is JB, Sarah needs out, outta this fuckin' town." He ran the bandaged hand over his forehead and sighed again. "You're the only one that can do that, girl."

"You want me to take Sarah to Seattle with me?"

"Yeah." Asher bit her lip and looked down at her hands which had torn up the Styrofoam cup Happy had given her nearly an hour ago. Kozik stood up and turned to walk away but stopped and turned to look at Asher one last time. "They're gunna give up on her, Ash. You and I both wouldn't be here if everyone had given up on us." Asher watched him go before standing up herself.

Kozik had a point. And she knew he was right. She'd been thinking about it since she'd been given the transfer to Seattle.

Taking a deep breath she stood up and walked towards the hospital again.

* * *

><p>The scene in front of her was not what she was expecting when she walked in. For the last two years she'd spent most of her time in the cancer ward at the Sacramento Base Hospital, and hadn't been exposed to many suicides since her early days. It made her forget the pain that ripped through your chest when you saw someone so young lying there, wrists wrapped in bandages and know that that person had reached a point so low that they didn't want to live anymore.<p>

She'd had her low moments, and there'd been times when she'd spent a whole night staring a bottle of whiskey and considering taking the easy way out, but every time she saw Sarah and Happy in that room all those years ago and she reasoned that even if she didn't have much to do with Happy and Sarah these days, she still mattered to them. And they mattered to her.

And now here in front of her was little Sarah Stevenson, who wasn't so little anymore. The girl that she thought of as a little sister swathed in bandages, dark circles under her eyes and pale. She almost turned around and walked back out before anyone saw her but felt a hand on the small of her back and she glanced up to see Happy standing over her. His eyebrow jerked and she nodded. He was going to do this with her.

"Hey. " Asher choked and Lizzie and Blues heads swivelled around to look at her.

"Asher." Lizzie gasped and stood up to come and hug Asher, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Asher never took her eyes off Sarah though as Liz pulled away and turned to look at her daughter, her hand still on Ashers arm. "Look honey."

Sarahs pale eyes watched Asher who looked up at Happy briefly before walking towards the bed. Blue stood up and patted Ashers shoulder before walking over to his wife.

"We'll be outside." He said quietly and Asher took his vacated seat beside the teenager while Happy stood in the doorway.

"We'll be okay." Asher said softly to the man that she'd been missing for months on end. "Promise."

"I'll be out here." He turned to leave but Sarahs croaky voice made them both look over at her.

"Thanks Happy." He nodded again and left, leaving the two girls sitting there alone in the room.


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Usually I base my stories on a song and work with that, with the dynamic between Asher and Happy it was hard to pick one - but 38 chapters later, I have one! It's not in this chapter but it will be in one soon - it's "Off to The Races" by Lana Del Rey. If you don't know it...well you should. Actually anything on Lana Del Reys "Born To Die" Album is motivating this story atm (especially Summertime Sadness). Okay well I've taken up enough time...please enjoy and of course... review!

**This is important - **This chapter has been reuploaded because **murphstheman **pointed out that it was very jumpy and well frankly I agree so I tried to even things out a bit. There's no dramatic changes to the original just a few little bits and change of dialogue. I'm sorry- but it was driving me nuts. Feel free to let me know what you think in a review! Thanks

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Eight- Ashes <strong>

_Out of place, like a gem on a coalface  
>Lost on the right way, it's all the same<br>'Cause I've had my hopes raised, riding the wrong waves  
>Scared when you feel safe to start again<br>Now watch me rise up and leave all the ashes you made out of me  
>When you said that we were wrong, life goes on, look how wrong I could be<br>__**-Embrace**_

**Tacoma WA **

**16****th**** December 2005**

Sarah watched Asher Haydens every move as she walked in and sat down, staring off into space. Right to the point when Happy left them both there…alone. She waited patiently for the infamous Asher Hayden wrath, but was met with silence. Asher crossed and uncrossed her legs, the denim of her grey skinny jeans being the only noise, accompanied with the click of her heels on the cold floor.

Asher Hayden in high heels. They weren't prissy though. They were typical Asher. Black, strappy, high. Nice shoes really. And if she hadn't just tried to kill herself, Sarah would have made a comment about them. But she knew better than to interrupt one of Ashers silences so Sarah went back to scrutinizing every change. She'd be twenty-five now, but she hadn't changed all that much. Still had black eyeliner smudged under her lashes, still refused to cover up her small smattering of freckles with make-up, her full lips pursed as she thought. Her hands were playing with a bracelet on her wrist and Sarah took a deep breath to say something when Asher finally spoke without looking at her.

"I got a transfer to Seattle." Sarah was happy for the subject avoidance for the moment.

"Cool."

"Kozik thinks I should take you with me." Ashers eyes glanced up at Sarah and Sarah was shocked to see them glassy. She'd never seen Asher cry. "And I think he's right, Sare."

"Huh?" What the hell?

"The whole school knows don't they?" Ashers voice was still low but her eyes despite the moisture were all-knowing. "You told someone and they freaked."

"How did you-"

"I was in highschool once too, baby. I know how cruel people are but I never tried to kill myself." Sarah rolled her eyes. Asher had no idea.

"Like you'd know, you were so freaking popular and perfect."

"Well, when your parents shelter you they don't do it half-assed do they?" Asher scoffed, leaning back in the chair and looking towards the open door where Sarah knew Happy was lurking. "This isn't about me Sarah, this is about you. I'm going to speak to your parents and get you the hell out of here before you do anymore damage to yourself."

"Can you even do that?" Sarah asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I owe your parents. I could have turned out a whole lot worse. And because I of all people know that staying in Tacoma is not an option." Sarah chanced a smile. Just because she hadn't seen Asher in a few years, didn't mean she'd changed one bit and Sarah was thankful.

"Thanks Ash." Asher smiled finally, just a small smile and leant over, taking Sarahs bandaged hand. Sarah gave her a small smile back, letting her shoulders relax and the painkillers the nurse had given her before Asher came in, kick in.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<br>16****th**** December 2005 **

Asher found Liz and Blue sitting outside when she left Sarahs room after she'd dozed off.

"Thank you for coming Asher." Liz said gratefully as she stood up and reached out a hand to her, but Asher didn't take it. She could see Happy down the hall with Kozik, watching on like they knew what was about to happen. "You don't know how much it means to us." Asher nodded, noting the grey in Lizs golden blonde locks, the strain in the older womans face, wrinkled with worry lines. "How long are you staying?"

"Not long." Asher said quietly, trying to keep her voice level. "I'm leaving in two days…and I'm taking Sarah with me."

"What?" Blue that'd been standing behind his wife came forward and Asher fixed her eyes on his, so much like his sons.

"Leaving Tacoma was the best thing I ever did. Getting away from what happened helped me cope. And it's so much worse for Sarah. So I'm telling you, that it's in yours and Sarahs best interests that she comes to Seattle with me. If she doesn't like it, she can come back. But if she stays here, you won't be able to protect her anymore. She's going to be that girl that was raped then tried to kill herself. You need to let her go in order for her to survive." She noted Liz's mouth gaping and Blues wide eyes before she stepped past them both and down the hall before she heard the tell-tale boom of Blues voice that dragged her back to the Sons of Anarchy Clubhouse all those years ago when he was president.

"What makes you think you have the right?"

Asher didn't bother answering him, just smirked as she walked away. No matter how much she did for them, Sons just didn't change. She walked past Happy and Kozik and continued out to the hospital parking lot. Pulling the Camaro's keys from her pocket she fumbled through them as she walked towards the car only to pull up short.

"So it's true, she's back to raise hell." Spanner watched her with green eyes and despite the events of the days she couldn't help but slump her shoulders in defeat and let Spanner pull her into a hug.

"She tried to kill herself Pete. If it wasn't for Hap..."

"I know baby girl." Spanner rubbed her back and she wrapped her arms around his waist, inhaling the rich smell of leather and spice that was Spanner. "She's going to be okay, everythings gunna be okay."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**16****th**** December 2005**

Happy had gone out for a smoke after Asher had left, trying to catch her before she left, but stepping out to the parking lot he could see her standing beside the Camaro, wrapped in the arms of one of his brothers. Lighting the cigarette in his lips, he watched as they stood there, hugging. He should have been jealous, but he felt like shit. She'd needed comfort earlier. It was the first time she'd gone out of her way to ask for it, and he'd ignored her. Just because his pride couldn't take getting attached to the little blonde bitch again.

Spanners head lifted and caught Happys eye across the parking lot and Happy nodded his thanks before turning back to the hospital. Asher could wait.

He had to watch out for Sarah now.

* * *

><p>Twenty five minutes later, Asher pulled the Camaro into the carport of her grandparents cabin and climbed out, grabbing the duffle she'd packed in a rush from the passenger seat. Pushing the door open she took a deep breath. The cabin was filled with stale air and it was dark and there were cobwebs collecting in every corner and Asher wished she'd had time to bring Grumpy with her. It was very rare that she spent a night without the brindle pit-bull by her side. Instead he was probably being spoilt by Tammie who since finishing high school had become a regular in Asher's life and had jumped at the chance to look after the gigantic dog when Asher had called from the road.<p>

Dumping her bag on the ground she walked over to the fridge and pulled it open. Stocked with beer and not much else. Probably from last time AJ visited from the look of the expensive labels. Taking one from the shelf she twisted the top off and walked back to her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and heading for the nearest bedroom. She dropped her bag in the hallway and walked in, looking around the dusty room. But the bedspread was different to the one that had been on it last time she'd been there so she knew it was the one that AJ had used. Knowing her uncle, she slid the bedside drawer open and looked inside, smiling slightly.

Typical.

Taking the bottle of Johnny Walker she went back to the hall, slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way to her room.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**16****th**** December 2005**

Happy Lowman was drunk. The day had ended, and he was just where he wanted to be. In that peaceful haze where he was content to just sit there and forget that he'd pulled Sarah Stevenson cut and bleeding from an overflowing bathtub where she lay unconscious in her underwear. That place where he forgot that he'd called an ambulance and through the lump in his throat begged Sarah to stay alive as he wrapped her in a towel. He could still smell the blood on his hands and hear the calming words of the paramedic. Just like he could still feel the sting of the needle as he sat on the hospital bed as they took his blood from him to help save her life. He'd do anything for that little girl. And he'd do anything to stay in that hospital to wait and see if Asher Hayden was going to turn up. And she had, and now he was here. Drunk with a sloppy brunette that would just have to do.

The brunettes hands were running all over his chest, long nails dragging across his skin through the fabric of his white t-shirt. Slut was making promises in his ear that he was sure she wouldn't keep.

_I can make all your dreams come true, baby. _

_I'm so wet for you_

_I am going to fuck your brains out_

Daft bitch had no idea how to make his dreams come true. It would start with not being brunette, and swapping trashy silver eyeshadow for dark eyeliner, smudged with that_ I just got out of bed look_…and blue eyes, blue eyes that saw through all the bullshit and the lies. And unless he had imagined the hookers appearance he was pretty sure it was going to be a pretty average fuck.

"And I told you he was busy." Koz's voice broke into his thoughts and he lifted his heavy eyelids to look at his blonde haired brother who had his arms crossed across his chest and his shit-eating grin across his face as he watched him. "You treating the man to the best there Shona?" Koz asked and Happys attention went back to the brunette, through his alcohol induced haze and he shook his head slowly, wondering at which point he'd sunk so low that he was imagining her in his lap.

"He's meant to be hard for you Shona, that's how you know he likes yo' ass." Shit, now he was imagining her crude comments, a possessive tone to her voice that made him twitch.

"Who are you?" The brunette asked and Happy scrunched his forehead, staring at the brunettes head as she swivelled around to look up at Koz.

"The toothfairy sweetheart." Finally he looked up at Koz, surely he was imagining this shit. Then he saw Koz turn his head and he saw the familiar blonde girl standing beside his brother. He felt something like his heart jump into his throat at the sight of her, hands on hips and an amused smirk on her face. "Looks like you upgraded." She said when she realised he'd seen her.

"What?" The brunette asked, confused and Happy, without a second thought shoved the sweetbutt off his lap cursing as he went to stand up in front of her, ignoring the sweetbutt and his brother.

"Bitch you got game coming in here and acting like you're _my_ bitch." He seethed, undressing her with his eyes, imagining how soft her perfect ivory skin would feel, how long it had been since she'd last screamed. Probably near a year…

He _was_ drunk.

"I'm nobodies bitch." She replied, her eyes not leaving his.

"Don't bullshit, it don't suit you bitch." He replied, poker face in place as the brunette grabbed at his hand.

"Come on Happy, lets go." She said, glaring at the blonde, towering over her slightly in her ugly platform heels. He saw her bright blue eyes flicker to the brunette. "He's _mine,_ sweetheart, so go find someone else." She sneered and Happy watched the blonde bite her lip, her eyes flitting back to him, an eyebrow cocked.

"You're _hers._" Asher informed him and he shook his head slowly, fancy her giving him lip now, in the middle of the fucking clubhouse. Sensing his Brothers anger at the snide remarks, Koz stepped in and placed a hand on her arm.

"Come on Asher, back that shit up, girl."

"Yeah, back that shit up baby girl." Happy replied and Asher smirked before spinning on her heel and walking away.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**12am**

**17****th**** December 2005**

An hour earlier and half a bottle of scotch, Asher had thought going to the clubhouse and telling Happy the truth was a good idea. But now, as she steadied herself against the bar she could see that stupid little mousy brown haired slut running her hand all over the mans chest. _Her man._

The alcohol had dulled the fear that she should have had sauntering into the clubhouse and now, it kept her imagining the murder that was going to unfold if _Shona _didn't back the fuck up. Turning around she waved to someone to get her a drink but was ignored.

"Hey baby." The voice in her ear made Asher smile as she was leaning over the bar and she turned her head, coyly smiling up at Spanner.

"Hello gorgeous."

"Gorgeous? Nobodies ever called me that." He smirked back and Asher leant her shoulder into his.

"Modesty doesn't suit you, Pete." She whispered and his grin got bigger, his green eyes dancing.

"No, you're right Darlin', it don't." He turned his head back to the bar and waved over a prospect. "Two jacks and a…" Spanners eyes were on her again and Asher bit her lip deciding what she wanted.

"Johnnie and coke." Spanner looked pointedly at the Prospect.

"Go." He ordered before he scampered off leaving Asher smirking up at Spanner again.

"So," A drink was handed to her and she took it, sipping before continuing. "what's been happening?"

"What? Besides saving suicide victims and protecting the innocent? Not much for SAMTAC." Asher rolled her eyes, feigning sarcasm but still smiled. She'd missed Spanner and his humour. "When're you comin' to join us here in Washington State." Asher shrugged. The removalist was booked, her apartment in Seattle was under contract. And she was actually looking forward to it. "You told _him _yet?" Asher saw his eyes flicker off to the side and Asher turned her head to see Happy still on the couch, the dirty brunette whore still pawing him.

"Who?" She feigned ignorance as she turned back to him.

"Come on baby girl, help a brother out. What happened?" Asher quirked an eyebrow and took another sip of her drink. "I've known Hap a long time and I ain't ever seen 'im like this. The dudes a machine."

"I've known Hap longer than you, and believe me, he's always been a machine." She said non-chantily, trying not to let on that it bothered her.

"Baby…you know better than that." He said seriously but Asher waved him off. He was seriously treading on her buzz.

"And you're being a killjoy Peter." Leaning back so that she could grin up at him. "You need to loosen up." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the joint she'd convinced one of the visiting nomads to give her outside and rolled it between her thumb and forefinger. Spanner plucked it from her fingers and leaned closer, smirking dangerously.

"Asher Hayden, back in the saddle."

"You have no idea baby." Asher replied coyly and let Spanner lead her out of the building, chancing a glance in Happys direction, but his attention was otherwise occupied.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**1am **

**17****th**** December 2005**

Peter Davies knew better than to question Asher Hayden. That's why he never pushed. If she wanted to tell him, she would. But there were always benefits to being in the dark. It meant that he didn't have to feel guilty about watching the way her lips curved into a coy smile or the way she bit her lip like she was thinking about all the bad things she could do to you.

Like rip your heart out. Like she'd done to Happy. It had been a year since Happy had come back from Sacramento Thanksgiving and become a club man. Well…more of a club man than he had been before. But Happy seemed more driven then he had been. More than once, Spanner had found himself standing beside the Unholy One and wondering what had become of the man that had once carried Asher and little Sarah away from danger and refused to let them go.

"Is it weird that they're throwing a party with what happened today?" Asher said quietly as they found a seat on a picnic bench away from the fire buckets were out of town members were standing around socialising. They could still hear the music and the singing of that little country and western singer that Kozik had been tuning.

"A brother charter in town is a big deal." Spanner shrugged, watching the small smirk on her face.

"You know, I never really understood this whole club thing. Giving up everything for people that would kill you the minute you turned on them." She mused and had it been anyone else, Spanner would have back handed the bitch, but this wasn't any whore. This was Asher.

"They're family."

"You've got a family, Pete." Asher said seriously, her fingers bringing the joint to her lips and taking a toke.

"Yeah, but, they took off as soon as shit got hard." He said, remembering the look on his mothers face when he'd been sent away for assault. "The Sons had my back. Just like they've always had Haps back." He paused after he said that though, because something dawned on him before he was staring at her face, and she was giving him an apologetic look. "Oh shit." Happy had ripped her heart out. She was his family, she'd always looked out for him and he'd chosen the club over her. "Baby…"

"What?" That fake smile was plastered on her face. She turned away quickly and he watched her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You know what?" He said leaning closer and watched her turn her head slightly to look at him from the corner of her dark lined blue eye, her eyebrow lifting. "I think you're drunk enough to sing for me."

"No way." She giggled. He felt his lips curl. He loved it when she laughed.

"Come on baby. You know you want to."

"No I don't. Besides I don't have my guitar." She replied, turning away from him.

"Come on, you can play the piano, and there's one up there on that stage."

"Pete, that's not a stage, that's a stripper podium." He leaned closer, trying not to smell the vanilla and Johnnie Walker on her skin.

"It's big enough."

"Sorry I apologise,_ Strippers_, plural, podium." She turned back to look at him and he knew he had her. She was still smiling and he knew she loved playing.

"Just one song."

"The whole club hates me, Pete, I'll get tomatoes thrown at me."

"You scared?" he asked.

"What? No way." And people said women were the masters of reverse psychology.

"Sure."

"I am not."

"Prove it." It must have been just the right combination of pot and whiskey but she scrambled off the picnic bench, not teetering once in those huge heels and put her hands on her hips and cocked her eyebrow.

"I will." Then she spun around on her heel and stalked off and Pete jumped from the picnic table and chased after her. She was standing at the bottom of the stage, watching the little red head in flannelette and tight jeans and cowboy boots as she finished her song. He didn't wait for Asher to chicken out, leaping onto the stage and walking over to the red head as she strummed the last chords and there was a small applause.

"Thanks darlin'." Spanner grinned, trying his best charm to keep that accusing look off her face. "Why don't you have a break?"

"But I've got more songs."

"You look thirsty, doll, get a drink." She narrowed her grey eyes and Spanner spotted his blonde brother watching him from the bar, "Kozik was lookin' for you."

"Oh." The little country bumpkin scanned the crowd and spotted Koz before she walked off the stage and added a little swing to her hips that looked unnatural on her narrow frame, not smooth and sexy like the woman that was now walking towards him.

"I'm going to kill you." Asher muttered as she stood beside him and Spanner grabbed the microphone.

"Hey, listen up."

Someone yelled at him to get off the stage and another, he was pretty sure it was Donut that told him to take it all off, but Spanner ignored them.

"Got a treat for ya' and it's been a long time coming, so lets pay tribute to a true SAMTAC friend, Asher Hayden." He swore he saw the blonde blush before she playfully pushed him away from the microphone and shook her head in disbelief.

"He's joking." She muttered into the microphone before she shifted the stand over to the piano and positioned it before pulling the stool out from under the piano and sitting down. Spanner jumped off the stage and took front row, getting handed a drink as Donut came to stand beside him.

"You're a game man."

"You realise Asher's the only reason why Happys here?" He replied and watching Donut take a deep breath and turn to look at the stage.

"Get off the stage whore!" Someone yelled and a few heads turned to look for the voice only to be distracted over the noise but a gravelly but threatening voice.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth." The whole clubhouse went silent and everyone waited for a brawl to erupt, but clearly sensing the tension, Asher spoke into the microphone.

"Oh, Tacoma, I've missed you." A few cheers and whistles followed and Spanner swore he saw Asher smile before her fingers were on the keys and that sweet voice that he loved to listen to when he was younger came floating into the quiet clubhouse.

_I've got a secret  
>I think I'm in love with missing you<br>More than I'm in love with you  
>That's why I go away all the time<br>That's why I travel the world and run free.  
>This time you're leaving me <em>

Spanner didn't miss the look she threw out over the crowd and he turned his head to see Happy standing near the bar, watching, his jaw clenched and a beer held tightly in his hand.

_This is how I feel  
>I feel like a travelling salesman<br>Even though I'm a woman  
>Picking up my bags from the station<br>Standing there face to face  
>I'd be lying if I did not say<br>I love you more when I'm missing you  
>that's why I'm always away<br>Believe me it's true  
><em>

"You're still a whore!" Someone yelled and Asher stopped singing. He thought she was going to stalk off the stage. But Spanner should have known better than that. "Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of."

* * *

><p>Asher forced herself to swallow her pride and smiled.<p>

"Oh Tacoma." She sighed, stood up and pushed the stool in under the piano and walked off the stage. And before anyone could stop her, she located the voice, the guy looked like a quarterback with a Prospects cut and two friends flanking him. And there, tattooed on his arm like the true douchebag he was she saw the word "Charming". "Hope you weren't counting on getting patched kid." She almost laughed.

"Why don't I show you what I'm capable of darlin'." He sneered and Asher took a deep breath before giving in and slapping the little punk across the face knowing that this was definitely going to end badly. If anyone was at the advantage here…it was the Prospect. Before he got a chance to lunge at her though, a large hand wrapped into the Prospects long ponytail and held him back.

"What do you want me to do with him?" Spanner said as he held the Prospect still, his eyes wide.

"Put him in the ring. Prospects don't seem to be gettin' the message." The gravelly voice said, sending a chill down Ashers spine as she looked up and saw Happy standing behind her. She almost felt sorry for the Prospect. The Prospect was big enough to hold his own against the likes of Spanner or Happy. But really…they all knew it was a lost cause.

Just like she knew protesting wasn't an option. And besides, this meant he still gave a shit about her.


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty – Snakeskin <strong>

_Tonight means nothing  
>If we stay<br>Standing here will only breed obsession  
>And I'm already obsessed<br>If everything you see is your possession  
>Then I'm already possessed<br>__**- Gyroscope**_

**Tacoma WA **

**17****th**** December 2005**

Asher watched the Prospect get dragged out of the clubhouse, and everyone else followed.

"Um." Asher turned around to face the huge man that was still standing behind her. "I don't want to you…" She waved her hand briefly, "you know…but um?"

"Speechless don't suit you, hooker."

"Chivalrous don't suit you." Asher quipped, regretting it instantly. She could almost imagine the serve he was going to give her. But he surprised her, giving a slight jerk of his lip.

"Like I said bitch, you don't own me." He said huskily as he walked past and out the door. Asher watched, scoffing in disbelief.

Yeah it sure didn't look like it.

* * *

><p>Bella sat off to the side of the boxing ring, inspecting the chipped nail polish on her ring finger, detracting from the shiny rock that had been on her finger for over fifteen years and still hadn't lost its shine. From her spot, she had prime position to view the death match that was about to occur and she had prime position to see Asher Hayden walk slowly out of the clubhouse, a minute behind the Tacoma Killer.<p>

"Bitch is back." Diana, Donuts new Old Lady was sitting beside her, smoking a cigarette as she too watched Asher walk out.

"I heard shes not staying." Courtney Stevenson, pursed her lips from the seat at Bellas feet and Bella glanced down at the young girl. There was a snide tone to the girls voice and Bella couldn't help but smile.

"I wouldn't trust that little blonde bitch as far as I could throw her." Diana replied and Bella glanced down but not before she saw the fake blonde sweetbutt scuttle out of Ashers way as the girl made her way to the ring.

"You don't even know her." Bella commented.

"I hear things." Bella rose an eyebrow at the Old Lady. Turned out Old men had big mouths.

"You're old man didn't seem to mind when he was following her around like a puppy dog. And neither did yours Courtney." Bella said pointedly at both young women. None of them knew the real Asher, hell Bella didn't even know the real Asher Hayden.

Bella looked back at the boxing ring where Happy Lowman was stripping off his shirt and taking off his rings and handing them to her husband. The Prospect that was already in the ring was flexing his biceps and waving to his other Prospect buddies who weren't looking so keen about the whole thing.

"I don't like this." Diana commented again and Bella sighed loudly before turning to look at the woman.

"What don't you like now?"

"This."

"You don't have an opinion, remember. That's your old man standing up there with his brothers, so you keep your mouth shut." Diana clicked her jaw and went back to smoking her cigarette. Diana was right though. No-one liked this. Happy was once again defending Asher in front of his brothers.

Sliding off the table, Bella strode across the asphalt towards the blonde that was standing off to the side, her arms wrapped around her, looking uneasy.

"Long time no see." Asher Haydens blue eyes were on her in a second, questioning.

"No kidding."

"Doesn't take long for you to cause a stir does it?" Bella replied, jerking her head towards the ring and saw Ashers lip twitched in the corner.

"I came back for Sarah. And that's all."

"Doesn't look that way. "

"Always looking for things that aren't there Bella." Asher replied and Bella had the overwhelming urge to slap the little bitch for her smart mouth. But if there was one thing that Bella was well aware of it was that if anyone was going to take her throne, it was the blonde in front of her. Even though there was no blood relation, Asher and Gemma Teller were like lionesses with their cubs. Mess with one of them, you messed with all of them.

"I hope you're making this worth it Asher." Bella said, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to walk away.

"I never guarantee anything." Was the last thing she heard but Bella smiled. She had to give it to her. If she was going to lose her queen status to, it was Asher. But not without a fight.

* * *

><p>Asher watched the Tacoma queen saunter away, her hips swaying with the clack of each heel. Looked like someone had rattled Bellas cage. She wasn't the kind of woman that came to you, you went to her. The Queen was marking her territory.<p>

Territory Asher wasn't all too interested in. She was more interested into the display of possessiveness that was occurring in the ring above her. Happy was prowling the ring, a thin sheen of sweat already glistening on his skin on top of the colourful tattoos.

The Prospect that was his opponent didn't look all too scared. And Asher guessed he hadn't been prospecting for too long, because Happy was a legend. Anyone that knew his name, knew not to get into the ring with him, whether it was over some little bitch or not.

"Give him hell _Killer._" Spanners voice was familiar over the crowd and Asher stood up nervously on tiptoes as she saw the Prospect advance on Happy only to bare the brunt of one of Happys huge fists before the Tacoma Killer ducked his opponents swing and was behind him, causing the Prospect to reel around and take a surprised swing at Happy who met him with more force, landing a combination into the Prospects face.

After that, the Prospect was fighting a losing battle and three minutes later he was eating mat. A loud cheer went up, not because it was a good fight, because it wasn't, it was too easy, but because some little douche had been put in his place by the Killer, and there was nothing more that Tacoma loved than beating the shit out of someone who deserved it.

Before she saw him put his shirt back on, Asher turned around and headed back inside. She needed a drink, then she needed to go home.

* * *

><p>"What the fuck are you doin' in here."<p>

Taking a deep breath, Asher turned around slowly to face Happy. His white t-shirt was damp from sweat and she could see the tattoos under it. Lifting her head slowly so that she could look him in the eye, she met his hard stony stare.

"It ain't you."

"This about Sarah?" The alcohol had dulled that pain in her chest at the memory of Sarah bandaged up in the hospital but as soon as her name was said, her heart ached.

_Sarah. _

"Maybe." Turning slowly on her heel Asher faced the bar again and waved to the Prospect who was pouring liquid into shot glasses. But her hand was snatched by a larger, darker hand and she was spun around again, the high heels making her teeter slightly before she could balance herself.

"Room now." He hissed and Asher gritted her teeth and tried to rein in that overwhelming urge to hit back, but instead turned and stalked down the hall to his dorm room, having to balance herself on the banister as she went up the stairs.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Her voice called when he pushed open the door fifteen minutes later and walked in. Asher was sitting on his bed, her blue eyes watching him as he stood in the doorway. Her make-up was smudged, the way he liked it and her blonde hair was in messy waves around her shoulders. Fucking hot little bitch was sitting on his bed, all twenty-five years of her.<p>

"Hey." He replied gruffly and cringed inwardly when she recognised the tone, dropping her chin and narrowing her eyes, worry evident on her face. She scrambled up and knelt on the bed in front of him, reaching up to push the cut off his shoulders and he wondered if she could smell the cheap perfume and hooker on him. The way she bit her lip wasn't seductive, neither was the flutter of her eyelashes. Both where a sign, yeah she knew.

"You're all tense." She smirked, the look of hurt quickly masked as she draped his cut across a chair near the bed and tugged at his t-shirt. "Let me help you relax, Killer."

"You're smashed." The girl he knew didn't forgive easily, especially after what had happened at Thanksgiving.

"You mind?" She purred and he had to swallow the lump in his throat. This day had been full of too much shit for him to even consider this. They needed to sort shit out.

"I need a shower." He pushed her off him and with one last look at her hurt face, he went to the bathroom and slammed the door. Stripping off the last of his clothes he turned on the shower and stood leaning heavily against the basin. He felt out of control. Like his body was begging him to give into her. But he knew it wasn't his limbs, it was his heart. And_ that_ was fucking scary.

* * *

><p>She heard the shower start and she rummaged around in the bedside drawer until she found his secret stash of Johnny Walker. Unscrewing the lid, she took a long sip, knowing that it was a bad sign that it didn't make her wince anymore.<p>

She was well into the bottle when she looked up slightly drunk, at the tattooed torso in front of her. She followed the array of colour up the chiselled muscle and tilted her head back to look at his serious face.

"Nice." She drawled, trying not to slur and his ringed fingers threaded through her knotty hair, tugging and she lay down as he leant over her, his knee on the mattress between her legs. His spare hand plucked the bottle of whiskey from her fingers and he put it on the bedside table. Asher looked up at his hulking figure. Her vision was blurry and her head was light, but she didn't mind. Just because it took some energy to lift her hand and sweep it over the tight muscle of his stomach, didn't mean anything. "My hero ."

This earned her a chuckle and her eyes went back up to his face, his eyes almost black as he leant over her, his legs in sweats. Her fingers played with the elastic waistband but she maintained eye contact.

"Should give you a hidin' for drinkin' all my whiskey." He growled but Asher shrugged off his tone. He was all talk sometimes. And at the moment she didn't care.

"Take me back to the cabin, Hap."

* * *

><p>Asher couldn't help the drunken giggle that escaped her lips when she was pressed up against the front door of the cabin. The closeness on the ride over there on the back of Happys motorbike had only made her want him more. But who was she kidding. He always did that to her.<p>

Happys lips were on hers hard, his tongue pushing it's way into her mouth and Asher pushed back. Her hands were wrapped tightly around his neck, the fingers digging into the tight muscle. His ringed hands ran down her side and cupped her ass, lifting her easily onto his hips. She felt him lift one of his hands and slam it against the wooden door. Seconds later they were both falling through the doorway and Asher had the notion that they were about to hit solid concrete floor, but Happy somehow prevented her slamming her head on the cold cement.

"Bedroom." She managed to hiss and Happy was up on his feet, skilled and quick, before he was carrying her down the hall. Asher ripped the cut and the t-shirt off his shoulders before they were flipped and Happy landed on the bed with a small thump. Straddling his hips as he sat on the bed, Asher pressed her lips to his tattooed skin, letting her tongue trace the lines of ink.

His fingers tangled in her hair and tugged so that their lips could meet and Asher groaned. It had been over a year since she'd been with any man. It turned out she was quite attached to Happy and no matter how many times she tried to cut the ties between them, it never worked. She would always want him. And only him.

She went to the hem of her own shirt and pulled away so that she could pull it from her body revealing the black lacy underwear she was glad she'd drunkenly put on before heading to the clubhouse. Happys hands left her hair and wrapped around her hips, lifting her up and turning to toss her on the bed, before slinking his way up her body. Asher lifted her hips, giving him the chanced to unbutton her jeans and pull them down her legs, leaving her strappy heels still attached to her feet. She watched the muscles twitch under his skin as he came back up her body through hooded eyes. His tongue swept across the thick scar on her stomach and his fingers gripped at the fabric before easily tearing it away from her body.

"I'll put those on your tab."

"Stop wearin' them then." He replied, a devilish smirk crossing his lips before they were pressed to hers again. Asher made quick work of slipping her fingers in his belt buckle and flicking it open before completing the task of pushing of his jeans. Her hands ran over the tight muscle under the supple skin on his ass. There was no need for foreplay, she was ready. So was he. She could feel him pressing up against her leg but there wasn't time for anything else to register before he was inside her and she threw her head back with a gasp.

Digging her nails into his muscled back, Asher just clung on for dear life as he thrust in and out at a frantic pace, his breath hot on her neck.

"Oh." The word slipped past her lips as the sparks flashed behind her eyes and she squeezed them tightly shut as the waves on pleasure lapped at her core before she was taken over and she felt teeth sink into her collarbone.

* * *

><p>AN: Oh alcohol...the things you can make a person do =D. Love it? Hate it? You know the drill x


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-One – Lay It Down<strong>

_And I don't mind  
>Cause I speak my mind sometimes<br>But I think it's time for me to try  
>To the lay the blame<br>I've been searching  
>For whoever made me feel this way<br>Cause it's you  
>So I said I'd speak the truth<br>But I didn't think it would be to you  
>I've been searching<br>For whoever made me feel this way  
>Cause it's you<br>__**-The Rubens**_

Happy opened his eyes slowly. The room was bathed in light, hinting that the sun was well on it's way up. The weight on his arm shifted and he looked down at mass of blonde hair that was fanning out over his arm and his chest. Lifting his other arm and brushed the hair away from her face, retracting it quickly when he realised what he was doing. But he still didn't shift, he couldn't. He just lay there staring at her pale skin clashing with his own tanned and heavily tattooed. Her back rose and fell with each breath and she shifted again, throwing her arm out, it hanging over the side of the small bed, but still she didn't wake. The sheet had slipped down so that it was just above her hips and the lines of her tattoo stood out against the pale skin. Not caring if she woke, he reached down and ran a finger over the words. Tacoma born and bred. The pad of his thumb ran over the ink softer and he felt her shift again at the touch.

"Tickles." She mumbled into the pillow her head was buried in before she turned her head so she was facing him, her eyes still closed, but her breath hitting the skin on his shoulder. He felt her tense though and seconds later she was sitting up, looking down at him. "Shit." Her blue eyes were wide and she looked surprised before she grabbed at her head. "Oh shit." He watched the sides of her eyes crease as she squeezed them tight. "What time is it?"

"Seven-thirty." He replied, not moving.

"'S early." She mumbled rubbing her head. "We did it again?"

"No kiddin." She looked all pretty sitting there, looking down at him. He pulled her down to him, letting her curl up into his side.

"You leaving?" She mumbled, her lips moving against his skin and he rolled his head back on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

"Nah baby girl."

"I'll get up in a minute and make breakfast ." Asher reached down and pulled the sheet up over her shoulder before continuing, "In a minute." He couldn't help but smile at her curled up in his side. It was a rarity that they got this kind of time together. Any other bitch and he would have kicked her out by now. But not Asher. He'd never admit it, but the little bitch always had him twisted up when she came back. So twisted up that he would force himself to stay in bed the rest of the day as long as she was by his side. No matter how long they'd been apart, they would always fall back into this familiar pattern.

"You're aight, bitch." He felt her lips move into a smile.

"Hmm." He swallowed the itch in his throat, the need to get out and the anger that had had him twisted up for months. He ran a ringed hand over the top of her head, having to force the muscles in his arm to go against the unnatural gesture as it swept her hair. She had damn pretty hair, all different colours as it slid easily through his fingers. "What's this?" Her fingers were on the little bandaid on his forearm just below his elbow.

"What's it look like?" He asked, staring at the way her fingers pressed gently to the bandaid.

"Looks like you got blood taken."

"Just a bit." He watched her lips curl into a small smile.

"Hmm." Her fingers left his arm and swept across his chest before she was snuggled into his side and he couldn't help but pull her closer. "I got a transfer to Seattle." He took a deep breath, not looking at her, choosing to fixate his gaze on the ceiling. "For good."

* * *

><p>Asher could feel his chest expand as she buried herself into his side. She bit her lip, waiting for him to say something.<p>

"What happened to California?" He finally said after a long silence.

"I've been trying to get the transfer for years, I just…" She looked up at him through her lashes, but could only see the stubble on the underside of his jaw. "I didn't want to make a big deal of it." The fact that she'd only ever told Spanner she wanted to move back to Washington State was largely due to the fact that she didn't want to put too much pressure on Happy. "Especially after what happened at Thanksgiving…" She pushed herself away from him and sat up to face him, tugging the sheet up to her chest, not liking being in such a vulnerable position when they finally had this talk. "I…I know what this means Hap, there'll always be something between us, but no matter how much I hate the club I'm not making this move to force you to betray them. I just wanted to be closer that's all."

The tell tale signs that he was pissed should have been there, the clenched jaw, the stern eyes that signalled she'd said something she shouldn't have. But they weren't, he looked just as relaxed as he had when she'd woken up.

"Hap…"

"Come home then." His voice was gruff and she watched him lift his head slightly, his hand resting on the small of her back. "You wanna be close, come back to Tacoma." Asher felt her heart begin to pick up speed in her chest. How could it have only been seven years since she'd been so effortlessly cool around this man and now, now his words were making her heart beat faster. Looked like they'd both changed.

"But what about Clay."

"Clays got his business, I got mine." He replied, sitting up more and Asher reached out to touch his chest, biting her lip. "Asher…"

"I can't." She kept her hand where it was, over his heart. The same heart that people thought was black as coal. But she knew deep down, the years of protecting her and Sarah was wearing on him and this was the breaking point. "I want to, you know that. But I can't. This isn't you Hap. The club is your life, you've told me that everytime you've walked away from me and I understood."

"It was my job to look out for her and I fucked up." He said quietly and Asher felt her heart break a little. She knew better than to say anything. He didn't want to be vulnerable, he wanted her to understand. Not being able to say anything without sounding like she was lying, Asher did the only thing she knew how. She leant forward and pressed her lips to his as hard as she could. At first he was surprised but he opened his lips to let her kiss him properly, her tongue sweeping his before she pulled back even though his hands were now gripping to her hips tightly.

"If it wasn't for you neither Sarah and I would be here." She whispered breathlessly but he seemed to come to his senses and pushed her away, getting up out of the bed and pulling on his jeans.

"Whatever, I got shit to do kid." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat as he pulled his t-shirt on and searched for his cut.

_Kid. _

He'd never called her that. She ground her teeth as he slipped the leather over his shoulders and tried to force herself not to bite back. But failed.

"Some things don't change do they? I thought you might have become less of an asshole in the last year." He turned on her and even though he would never admit that those words had rubbed him the wrong way, Asher could tell he had a lot that he wanted to say. "You've clearly got a problem with me so fucking spit it out."

"You don't want to know." He bit out but Asher was already pulling on clothes, wanting a fight, needing a fight. Just to feel something she hadn't felt in the last year.

"No come on, what? You think that I'm a traitor too, just like the rest of the club?"

"You ain't a traitor." The words were spoken quietly just like his admission about Sarah.

"Well it's not like you've declared that I never did anything. They all think I'm the reason you went away!" She practically screamed at him. "You can tell everyone to keep their hands off me, but you don't stop them treating me like shit even though you know I'd do anything for you but you won't stand up to you brothers for me. What makes you think you have the right to ask me to stay when you don't have any respect for me?"

"Asher…" He almost looked sympathetic, like all the shit that he'd put her through over the years mattered. Like he cared. But his voice was low, husky and like a warning.

_Don't push it._

"Don't _Asher_ me now, you just called me a _kid." _

"You better back up now baby girl, I don't have much patience for your shit right now." Asher rolled her eyes and reached down to find her underwear before realising he'd ripped them. Instead she just pulled her jeans on and did them up.

"You fuck me over every time Hap. You knew I was here and you flounced that stupid whore in front of me. And you have the nerve to ask me to come back now after all this time when you know I can't." He sat heavily on the bed and ran both his hands over his head in frustration, clearly not liking being confronted. Fancy that, Happy Lowman didn't like confrontation, not when he didn't have a gun in his hand or a knife on his belt, both of them sitting in his dorm at the clubhouse. His large hands came down his jaw and rested on his chin.

"What? You don't want anythin' to do with me anymore?" He asked, voice gravelly and harsh.

"I never said that." Asher wasn't sure where her head was but she was pretty sure she hadn't said that.

"Nah, you'd rather get up on the stage and sing it to the whole fuckin' world."

"What?" Asher was perplexed.

"You like me better when you're not here or somethin'?" She didn't miss the fact that he'd left the word 'love' out of it. "That why you're always takin' off?"

"No…" She sighed, stepping forward unsure whether she'd be rejected again. "I don't want to hate you…Tacoma brings out the worst in us. I can't remember how you were or how we were before when I'm here." He rubbed his head again and Asher took another step forward. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." He stood up and looked down at her. Asher felt so small under his gaze. "Me too."

"Guess you better go then." She watched him from under her lashes. He lifted his hand up though and grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and Asher let him tug it over her head.

"This here," He placed his hand on the ink on her side that hadn't faded one bit since the day he'd put it on her, "means you call, I'm there. You want me there, you gotta tell me Asher."

"Since when did you choose me over the club?" He moved his hand so his large thumb traced the scar over the top of her belly button.

"I ain't choosin'." Asher smiled slightly. "You wanna go live some apple pie life, you gotta speak up now. You movin' to Seattle means I'm gunna be up there every second weekend to remind you who owns your ass." Biting her lip, Asher smiled coyly up at him, stepping closer and gripping his t-shirt in her fingers.

"That right?"

"That's right hooker, you better remember that." His breath was on her lips now and Asher pulled herself up on tiptoes for him to kiss her gently. Or as gently as the killer could before Asher pulled away.

"Come on, I'll get you that breakfast." She said, tugging his hand gently and taking the shirt from the other hand. She slipped it on and stepped out of the bedroom feeling Happy follow behind. She rummaged around in the kitchen for some pans then searched the cupboard for some pancake mix before starting the coffee machine. She should have gone shopping before she'd gone out the night before, but she'd make do with what she had.

When she'd stacked five pancakes on top of each other on one of her grandmothers antique plates before placing some bacon that she'd found in the freezer on top and putting it down in front of the biker. She watched as he took a sip of his coffee before looking up at her.

"You gunna eat?"

"Yeah." She tossed a pancake on another plate and put it on the bench, grabbing a fork and tore at the food. She knew they'd had this same discussion before but this time it was different. If this is what she had to look forward to with Happy, she could do it.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**18****th**** December 2005 **

Asher threw the last of Sarahs bags in the back of the Camaro and turned around to see the group of people heading towards them. Sarah was hugging her mother, her father beside her and Kozik walking on the far side with Lorca and Donut. Spanner and Happy were driving a truck full of Ashers belongings to Seattle from Sacramento and were going to meet them, whilst Kozik escorted them to Seattle.

"Take care of my girl." Liz said, taking Asher in her arms and Asher nodded.

"I will." Blue was next to hug her and Asher was starting to get uneasy with the amount of affection that was being shunned her way. "I promise."

"I know you will, baby girl." Blue said quietly, nodding as he stepped back and wrapped an arm around his daughters shoulders. "And you be good my girl."

"Sure Daddy." Sarah said, plastering smile on her face and tugging her sleeves down past her wrists.

"Alright, you ladies ready to go?" Kozik asked, walking towards his bike and Asher nodded gesturing for Sarah to get in the car. Blue and Liz stepped back as Lorca came to stand in front of Asher.

"I spoke to Hap." Lorca said quietly and Asher looked up at the huge man that was about twice as wide as Happy and not an inch of fat on him. "You earned your place here, there won't be any argument next time you step into this clubhouse."

"Uh…" Asher rose an eyebrow sceptically, contemplating what to say to him. Part of her wanted to tell him where to stick it. But another part of her, had enough respect for Happy, for the man that had asked this of his president to nod. "Thank-you."

"Look after Sarah, she's one of us." Asher nodded again and gave a small smile before turning around to her car and got into the red Camaro. Starting the engine she took a deep breath and pulled out of the lot, chancing a look at the teenager in the passenger seat.

"Don't look back baby."

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><p><strong>Seattle WA<strong>

**18****th**** December 2005 **

The huge brindle pitbull sitting at the feet of a disgruntled looking biker was the first thing Sarah saw when Asher pulled the car into the carpark at the apartment building. Happy was very un-happy by the look of him as he leant against his bike, the dog looking up at him like the man was the most important thing to him.

"Who's dog?" She asked, looking over at Asher who's eyes were trained on the man, who had his arms cross across his chest covered in a black hoodie.

"That's Grumpy." Asher said quietly and Sarah could see something was bothering her. Before she could ask though, Asher was out of the car and walking over to where Kozik was now talking to Happy. Getting out of the car, Sarah followed Asher over to the Sons.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Asher sighed, and Sarah furrowed her brow as the blonde ran an exasperated hand through her hair.

"What happened?" Sarah asked, looking up at the two bikers.

"We gotta head back." Koz said as Asher turned her back on the three of them and whistled to the dog who ambled after her. "Charming called. Sorry kid." Kozik looked genuinely annoyed, but not as annoyed as Happy did. Sarah didn't blame him. Happy wasn't the kind of person that liked being jerked around. With that thought, the man himself stepped past them and followed Asher towards the building.

"Should we…" Sarah gestured to the retreating figures and Kozik shook his head.

"Nah, gotta wait for Spanner with the truck. Got a smoke?" Sarah rolled her eyes but pulled the packet of cigarettes from her pocket and offered it to Kozik. The blonde man took one and put it in his mouth before taking the lighter that Sarah offered and lighting it easily. Sarah did the same, even though she knew Asher would kill her if she caught her.

* * *

><p>Happy found Asher standing on the balcony her knuckles white on the railing. The humungous pit bull that he'd bought her years ago was sitting at her feet, having learned that Asher was the only one it could really rely on. There'd once been a time when the dog had chosen him over her, but now, it like her was used to Happy bailing out.<p>

And just like clockwork, the minute it seemed like he could redeem himself, buy her a dog, help her move, he was forced to leave and leave her alone.

She turned when he leant against the glass door and gave him a small smile. It had been a long time since he'd see one of her real smiles. Like the one at Thanksgiving. Like the one she'd given him when he'd told her he'd be there. If anyone was a traitor it was him.

"Hey! You wanna unpack this shit or what?" Whatever Asher had been about to say was cut off as Spanners voice echoed through the small apartment. Ashers lip twitched in annoyance but she stepped past him and walked over to Spanner, one of her real smiles already on her face.

"Just you me and the kid." She said the bitterness not there but Happy knew it was lingering. Because he knew her.

"Huh?" Spanner looked up at Happy as Asher exited, the dog staying behind, quite content to lie on the empty balcony.

"Koz and I gotta head off."

"Hap." Spanner sighed, running his hand over his head.

"Come on, got enough time to get the heavy stuff out." Happy said gruffly and walked past the other man and out the door.

* * *

><p>An hour later, the couch, two beds and the fridge moved in, Asher watched Happy swing onto the Harley and put his helmet on. She almost felt bad for not speaking to him for the last sixty minutes. This was meant to be a fresh start. This was meant to be the moment when she realised she could really have it all. A job, a home, Sarah and Happy.<p>

But instead she was standing there, unable to say one civil word to the man in front of her. She just wanted to rip her hair out in all honesty. The only way she could really have him was to cave and move to Tacoma, be an old Lady and spend the rest of her life locked in the Club. She'd have to give up on Sarah, on her career and on a lot of friendships. Somehow, the rebellious side of her, bred into generations of Morrow women didn't see any logic in all that. Even if her heart begged her to let him in and let him take care of her.

"Guess I'll see you." She stuffed her hands deep in the pockets of her jeans and rocked on her heels.

"Yeah." He seemed to think about something for a second before his lip twitched. "Remember who owns that ass." He warned and Asher knew this was as affectionate as they were going to get without any privacy. Kozik was keeping Sarah entertained by ribbing Spanner and Asher was glad that at least he got to stay. Spanner was still one of her only friends, one of the only people she trusted. "Be back in a few weeks."

"Okay." She felt the sides of her lips tug quickly before she maintained the cool composure she'd worn for the last twenty-five years. "I'll see you then." Taking a deep breath she leant over and kissed his cheek before pulling back and Happy nodded before starting the bike.

"Koz, come on." He yelled and Kozik rolled his eyes in their direction before hugging Sarah and walking over to kiss Asher on the cheek.

"See ya babe."

"Later Herman." Asher replied winking up at him and Kozik grinned before heading to his bike and swung on, starting it and nodding at the three of them again revving the throttle and Happy and he pulled out of the parking lot and down the street. Asher watched them go before she felt a familiar arm wrap around her shoulders and she could see the "Unholy ones" patch in her peripheral vision and heard a sound of protest as Sarah was pulled into his other side.

"So wanna get the rest of your stuff from the truck?" He asked, looking over at the truck that the sun was slowly setting behind.

"I have a better idea." Asher said leaning around to look at Sarah. "Wanna get a head start on that new beginnings?" She asked and Sarah looked over at her, raising a sceptical pale eyebrow.

"What?" From her handbag, Asher produced the packet of hairdye that she'd picked up the day before. The colour said chocolate brown and she knew Sarah would love it. Because Sarah and her were similar like that. If she was going to start over she was going to do it properly.

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><p>AN: Thank you all so much for your reviews! I hope you enjoyed! xx


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Two – Same in Any Language<strong>

_It's the same in any language  
>A brother is a brother<br>If there's one thing I know  
>It's the same in any language<br>Wherever you go  
>-<em>_** I Nine**_

**Seattle WA **

**22****nd**** November 2006 **

"I'm here to see the Principal." Asher leant over the reception desk and looked down at the secretary who was chewing loudly on some gum. She looked up at Asher and gave a bored sigh.

"Name?"

"Asher Hayden, I'm Sarah Stevensons guardian." The woman gave another bored sigh and flicked the pages of her notepad with her long red fingernails.

"Take a seat." She flicked her hand in the direction of the waiting chairs and Asher rose an eyebrow before turning and going to take a seat. Leaning back in the chair, she crossed her legs and sat her handbag on her lap and pulling her cell phone out. She was looking forward to the weekend off. It was ridiculous that the principal thought it was appropriate to call a parent teacher interview at the end of a fortnight of night shifts and too many of them doubled. It was a bit harder having to feed two mouths than it had been to feed one. Back when it was just her she had days when the dog would eat more than her, but now she had to set a good example for the girl in her care and that meant more money which meant more work. But every second weekend she finally had three days to herself, two of which were usually occupied with keeping a very large biker entertained and away from Sarahs prying eyes. Luckily for Asher, Sarah had a few more friends in high school than she had and Asher easily got her out of the house to a sleepover or a party every couple of weeks.

And everytime she lied, she justified that it was for setting a good example. Even if a text message saying he was on his way put a smile on her face.

"Miss Hayden?" Asher looked up from her phone and saw the familiar face of Mr Grayson, the Principal looking over at her. Tucking her phone back in her pocket, Asher stood up and strode over to his office. "Take a seat." Asher sat down in the comfortable chair that she'd sat in nearly a year ago when she'd begged him to Sarah halfway through the year. "How are things working out for you and Sarah?" He asked as he sat down and unbuttoned his sports coat.

"They're good." Asher gave him a smile. "We're going really well."

"You must be working a lot to support the both of you." He commented and Asher rose and eyebrow.

"What is this about?" He sighed and sat forward in his chair, clasping his fingers together on the desk.

"Sarahs a very bright student, but it's come to my attention that she's been skipping class." Asher ran a hand through her hair. "And lately her teachers have reported that the classes she does attend she's disruptive." Disruptive? Asher was going to show her disruptive when she got her hands on the little brat. It wasn't lost on her that this conversation should have been happening with her homeroom teacher or someone similar, not the principal. "I know this is something that would usually be discussed with another teacher, but Miss Hayden, I want you to be aware that if this continues to happen, Sarah will be getting more than just a detention. It could also mean that your guardianship will be stripped."

"I don't think you can do that." Asher said, a bit taken aback by this.

"I'm sorry Miss Hayden, but it's a possibility. I understand your need to do this for Sarah," he stood up and walked around to stand in front of her, a bit too far into Ashers personal space. Asher hated when people touched her. Especially people she didn't know. "If there's anything I can do to help you just let me know."

Asher stepped back and gave him a polite smile.

"Thank you."

"I expect we'll see Sarah in class on Monday." Asher nodded.

"You will." Then turning on her heel, Asher stalked out of the office and out to the carpark. Getting in the car she started it and pulled out, planning Sarahs murder as she drove. Her phone went off but she ignored it.

* * *

><p>Pulling into the carpark of her apartment building Asher found Kozik leaning on his bike with his arms crossed over his cut. Picking up her handbag and her phone she saw that the message she'd gotten had been from him. Getting out of the car, she swung the bag over her shoulder and stepped out of the car.<p>

"What, lock pick skills not working?" She asked, looking up at the biker.

"Ha ha. Nice to see you too JB." He leant down and pressed a kiss to her cheek and Asher rolled her eyes. She was hoping over time he'd move on from this nickname. "Thought I'd drop in on my way home."

"Good." She took her keys from her bag and smiled over her shoulder at him. "You can be the one that tells Sarah she's grounded until eternity."

"What happened?" Asher looked up at Kozik as he walked beside her. In the last year, it seemed all of them had finally realised they were adults and could actually have a civil conversation. Even her and Happy were known to be able to actually have a conversation without yelling.

"The Samtac princess has been skipping school and being a bitch to her teachers." She stuck the key in the lock and turned it. "Sarah!"

* * *

><p>"Sarah!" Sarah lifted her head quickly.<p>

"Shit."

"Who's that?" Bradley Landers, the guy that she'd met in detention three weeks ago when he'd dropped his motorbike helmet on her desk asked as he leant over her. He was more James Dean than the bikers she was used to, and she loved every bit of that. Plus, she was always a sucker for a bad boy. But that was the last thing on her mind as she shoved him off her and looked around for her shirt.

"It's my fucking guardian." She muttered.

"I thought you said she was working?" Sarah groaned. She'd completely forgotten that it was Thursday, it was Ashers early finish.

"Crap."

"Your Uncle Kozik is here!" Ashers voice rang through the apartment and Sarah froze.

"Your uncle?" Bradley was looking at her curiously, but Sarah knew she was well and truly fucked.

"You have to get out, _now_." Sarah hissed, looking over at the window. She knew it was only a storey off the ground, but she'd never attempted it. You never really needed to climb out the window when you could just walk out. "Quick." She pulled open the window and gestured for him to jump.

"I'm not jumping out the window." Bradley hissed just as Sarah heard the click of a doorknob and turned to see Asher standing in the doorway, taking in the scene of Sarah trying to push a leather jacket clad boy out the window.

"Would you like to use the door?" Asher crossed her arms and Sarah took in the bored expression on her guardians face that was all a mask that she knew Asher had perfected over the last ten years.

"Uh." Bradley looked between the two girls and Sarah prayed that he just jumped out the window so Kozik wouldn't see him.

"Well?" Asher asked not moving an inch and Sarah gave Bradley a pleading look to get the hell out of there.

"Yes ma'am."

"Out now." Asher hissed and Bradley ducked past her and Sarah felt her embarrassment increase as Asher looked over her shoulder and called out. "And don't be coming back."

"Asher." Sarah groaned embarrassed that Asher had made her look like an idiot.

"Go and see your uncle. He came all this way to see you." She growled and Sarah knew better than to argue. It had been nearly a year since she'd moved in with Asher and she had never seen her guardian look so disappointed in her.

"It's nothing you haven't done before." She muttered as she went past and saw the blonde glare at her from the corner of her eye but kept her lips tightly shut.

When she didn't see Kozik anywhere, she walked out onto the balcony and tugged the packet of cigarettes from her jean pocket.

"Got another one of those?" Sarah turned her head to see Kozik standing on the balcony behind her. Nodding, she fished the packet out of her shorts and flipped the lid, offering a cigarette to the biker. "Thanks darlin'." Turning back, Sarah continued to stare at the highrises in front of her, waiting for Kozik to cave and give her the lecture Asher hadn't gotten around to giving to her. "You're so much like her sometimes it scares me kid." Kozik finally said, but Sarah refused to allow herself to be taken aback at his words. It wasn't the first time someone had pointed out that her and Asher were similar. "She was a lot older when I met her but." Kozik said, his lips around the cigarette as he tried to light it. "And you ain't nearly as quiet." Sarah inhaled and blew smoke out into the night air.

"I used to think she walked on water."

"You don't still?" Kozik asked, leaning back against the railing and Sarah bent over so she was leaning on her elbows.

"Asher's far from perfect." Taking a deep inhale Sarah chanced a glance at Kozik, briefly wondering if the rumours were true, if he'd ever slept with Asher. "Have you and her…" She trailed off when Kozik gave her a disgusted look.

"Fuck no. I like my bitches to be a little less opinionated."

"Isn't that what the gags for?" Sarah asked and ducked as the biker took a half hearted swipe at her with his huge hand making her laugh. "Hey!"

"So this dude you've hooked up with…"

"Koz." Sarah groaned but Kozik just straightened up and turned around, to wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her into his side.

"I'm just looking out for my girl."

"Well you should be more worried about the dude Ashers sleeping with rather than me." Sarah replied, rolling her eyes before she felt Koziks arm slip from her shoulders. "What?" Looking up at him she furrowed her brow at the look he was giving her. "What? What's with the look?"

"Who's Asher fucking?" He almost demanded and Sarah shrugged.

"Some doctor at the hospital. She hasn't brought him around though. I think they've been doing it at his place and the hospital." Pausing Sarah made a disgusted sound, "Ew."

"Does Hap know?" Kozik ignored her last comment and Sarah shrugged, leaning back against the balcony.

"Why would Happy care?" Asher chose that opportune moment to slide the glass doors open and look expectantly at the pair on the balcony.

"Inside, _now._" Kozik growled. Sarah watched as Asher didn't put up a fight, just turned on her heel and walked back into the apartment, Kozik flicking his cigarette over the balcony and following, the sliding door slamming in their wake.

At least she'd avoided the lecture again.

* * *

><p>Kozik couldn't believe it. All those years of Asher insisting that they always told Sarah the truth and she was the biggest liar of them all. He should have known better though, she'd spent her whole life lying to the people in her life. Just because she wanted them to be honest didn't mean she was going to be honest.<p>

"What?" Asher looked up at him as he glared down at the blonde.

"You haven't told her about Happy."

"What's there to tell?" She asked, turning away from him. Kozik wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her, but he knew his brother, and he knew if Happy turned up and found a mark on Asher…well he didn't like thinking about the things that his brother was capable of when someone harmed his girl.

"That for the last year, he's been haulin' his ass up here to you and you've been screwing around behind his back." He saw Asher scoff.

"You think I'm stupid enough to cheat on Hap?" The thing about Asher, Kozik had known for years was that you were never really sure what she was capable of. Everytime you thought you knew what she was thinking, she threw in a gamechanger.

"Then what's this about some doctor?" Asher groaned, rubbing her eyes in frustration.

"I don't know. I've been working a lot, I can't tell Sarah or she'll think she has to work."

"You need money? We can get you money."

"Hmm." She shrugged her shoulders. "We're okay. _She_ may not be though. I'm going to kill her." Asher pointed to the glass doors.

"Aight, well Lorca called, I gotta head. Give 'er hell doll." He gave her a playboy smile before walking out to the balcony. The little girl he always looked out for was almost a woman and he had to chuckle at how much she'd grown in the last year. Seattle had been good for her. "Well darlin' I gotta go." Sarah turned around to face him.

"What?" She almost seemed sad and he pulled her into a hug.

"Sorry sweetheart." Sarah hugged him back and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Try not to piss Asher off too much. Sarah rolled her eyes but smiled.

"Aye aye captain."

* * *

><p>Asher heavily poured herself a glass of wine as she leant against the kitchen bench. Sarah was still on the balcony and Asher shifted her gaze so that she was glaring at the girl through the glass door. She was going to ground her ass. Forever. Had it just been the school stuff, she would have given in eventually, but leather clad bad boys in bedrooms was the end of that. She watched Sarah turn around and take a deep breath before she walked in, sliding the door shut behind her.<p>

"I'm sorry." The brunette said softly.

"What? That you did it or that you got caught?"

"Does it matter?" Sarah narrowed her eyes at Asher, but Asher was to furious to care. "It's not like you haven't ever had a boy in your room."

"I wasn't the one that tried to kill myself a year ago because of a boy." Asher snapped back, both of them freezing as soon as the words were out of Ashers mouth. After a minute of silence Sarah was the one that broke it.

"At least I'm not a biker whore."

"Right. Well I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Asher sighed. You could take the girl out of Tacoma, but you couldn't take Tacoma out of the girl. "You're grounded. For eternity. I don't give a shit who you wanna see, or where you wanna go. You're not going. And you can tell Mr-Rebel-without-a-Cause that cause if I ever see his leather wearing ass in your room again I will skin you. Got it?"

"You're such a bitch!" Sarah screamed like the teenager she was and Asher rose an eyebrow before Sarah stormed off and slammed her bedroom door. Taking a deep breath, Asher picked up her glass of wine and went to sit on the couch.

* * *

><p>Asher was well into her bottle of wine, the cold war between her and Sarah waging on with her on the couch and Sarah holed up in her room. The TV was so low that Asher could hear the teenager moving around in her room, slamming drawers and throwing things around. Well at least she was still here.<p>

Taking another sip of her wine a loud knock at the door made her jump, sloshing red wine all over her hand and white tank top.

"Shit." She muttered, placing the glass down on the table on top of a stray magazine and jumped off the couch, wiping at her tank top. When she reached the door she stopped her attack on the red stain and opened the door, her heart leaping into her throat when she saw who was on the other side. "Hey." She said sheepishly and he nodded, his lip twitching slightly. _Shit._ What a bad time to ground Sarah. Looked like she wasn't going to be keeping secrets much longer.

"Hey." His dark eyes held hers for a moment longer than necessary and Asher realised that they were still standing in the doorway.

"Sorry, come in." She gestured into the apartment and Happy slid past her, his chest brushing hers slightly making her shiver slightly. "You want something to eat?"

"Yeah." One worded answers Asher noticed, he must have been in a good mood. Walking into the kitchen he made himself comfortable on a kitchen stool on the other side of the bench. A loud thump could be heard from Sarahs bedroom and Happys head turned towards the hall.

"I'll tell you later." Asher muttered, pulling some of the leftover food from the fridge and piling it onto a plate. Sticking it in the microwave she grabbed a beer from the fridge and took the top off it before placing it in front of him. "No whiskey- apparently teenagers drink it all." She said, sliding it towards him and the microwave beeped and she put the plate down.

Asher leant against the bench watching him shovel the food into his mouth. Tilting her head to the side she smiled slightly. She loved watching the way his muscles rippled underneath his tattooed skin. The lusty thoughts that entered her mind as she remembered the last time they'd been together made her bite her lip and she saw his dark eyes glance up at her, a small twitch at the corner of his mouth, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"Food okay?" She asked quickly, dispelling the sexual tension that was building between them.

"Good."

* * *

><p>Once he'd eaten, Happy sat down on the couch beer in hand and the TV still on quietly as Asher repoured her wine and sat down on the other end of the couch. Happy leaned over and grabbed her wrist tugging her towards him.<p>

"Come here baby girl." Asher obliged, crawling over beside him and leaning into his side as he wrapped a large tattooed arm around her shoulders. "What happened with you and the kid?"

"She called me a bitch." Asher muttered sipping at her wine and leaning over to put it on the table beside his boot clad feet before snuggling into his side, making the most of the soft and tender moments between them.

"What'd you do?" Asher smiled slightly. Trust him to ask what she did rather than jump in and assume that Sarah was in the wrong. She loved that about him.

"Caught her making out with some guy in her bedroom." She replied and felt Happys chest vibrate with a slight chuckle. "I know." She already knew what Happy was thinking. She had been exactly the same. "I swear she's becoming more like me every day." Sighing she shifted slightly closer to him.

"You never got caught." He laughed and she nodded into his chest.

"Hmm." Sighing Asher ran a hand over his chest, making the most of the fact that he wasn't pushing her away. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea bringing her here." Happy sighed loudly and she could sense this idea pissed him off. "What?"

"You told me you weren't coming back to Tacoma and now you go and say this shit?" He didn't move but Asher sat up and looked at him.

"I thought it was the right thing." She sighed exasperated. "Getting her away from all those memories. For both of us…" His large calloused hand reached out and he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him, his eyes were a familiar shade of brown, almost black. She tried to hide the shudder but he would have felt it.

"You're a strong bitch, Ash. Kid's learnin' from the best." His eyes narrowed slightly. "Teenagers fuck up, set her straight, hope she don't do it again." His hand moved around to the back of her neck and he fell back, pulling her towards him, his other hand pushing up the side of her shirt. Asher was practically in his lap, her lips a breath away from his when she nodded.

"I don't want to lose her Hap. I don't want her to wake up one day and realise that she was better off in Tacoma with her family and coming here was a waste of time." Happys thumb grazed her cheek and he pulled her down to his lips hard. When the sound of heavy footsteps alerted Asher to Sarahs presence she flew off Happy's lap and landed on the other end of the couch, curling her legs up underneath her as the teenager walked out.

* * *

><p>AN; So forty-two chapters later I decided I should probably move the story along a bit. Sorry if it's jumpy! Review and let me know! =D x


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Three – What Makes Us Girls<br>**

_This is what makes us girls  
>We all look for heaven<br>And put love first  
>Something we would die for<br>It's our curse  
>Don't cry about it<br>We don't stick together  
>Cause we put love first<br>It's all going to happen  
><em>_**-Lana Del Rey**_

**Seattle WA **

**22****nd**** November 2006**

Sarah had heard the knock on the door as she slammed her closet door again. Standing next to the closet she caught her reflection in the full length mirror her and Asher had spent hours picking out at the thrift antique store in a back alley nearby. She loved the gold frame that was beautiful on first glance, but when inspected closely was chipped and rusted. But it added to the character, made it real. She'd never admit it, but it reminded her of her carer. People had always seen Asher as perfect and beautiful, not realising the cracks that lay underneath the surface. Sarah had always looked up to her, from as early as she could remember. She always wanted to be like Asher. Be like the only person she trusted.

But now all she wanted to be was away from Asher. Away from her and her wise words and her all-knowing attitude. Just because her life was fucked up didn't mean Sarah was going to fuck hers up. There was no harm having a bit of fun with some guy, right? Slamming another drawer she stopped and waited to see if she could hear who was out in the apartment. She could hear Asher's voice.

_No whiskey- apparently teenagers drink it all. _

That didn't help her working out who was outside. Asher offered whiskey to everyone. That was before Sarah had swiped the bottle and had been stashing it under her bed, making the most of it when the need to cry was too overwhelming. She swallowed the lump in her throat and listened for some more sound, but it was quiet. Whoever their guest was, was quiet. Something new for them.

She didn't move, just waited. A few minutes later there was footsteps and she heard Asher speak, but couldn't make out the words. Curiosity got the better of her and she quietly pulled the door open, sneaking down the hall until she was near the living room doorway.

"I swear she's becoming more like me everyday." There was movement and Sarah waited for the next words to be said.

"You never got caught." Sarah froze. She recognised that voice. It was the voice that she would recognise quicker than her own fathers. She could remember that voice comforting her in the darkness when she was just eight, remember the owners arms wrapped tightly around her, keeping her safe from everything in the world.

_Happy. _

Leaning against the wall she listened to Asher's voice as she talked to Happy. She could hear the worry in Ashers voice, but her words were muffled, unlike Happys which were stern and gravelly.

"Teenagers fuck up, set her straight, hope she don't do it again." Sarah smiled slightly, wondering what Happy would be like as a father. His tough love approach would hardly be a hit with little miniature Happys. Chancing a glance around the doorframe she could see Asher in Happys lap. It was an embrace she'd never seen the two in. She'd seen them kiss each others cheeks in greeting, once she'd even seen Happy kiss her on the lips but nothing like this. Not since her kidnapping when he'd crushed Asher to his side as he carried Sarah out, refusing to let go of Asher once Sarah was safe. Back in Tacoma she'd heard rumours about Asher and Happy, but she'd also heard rumours about Asher and the rest of the Club so she hadn't believed them. But now, seeing them so close to each other, Happys hand pushing up the hem of her shirt so that Sarah could see the words "_Tacoma SOA born and bred" _ it all made sense. She didn't feel like she was about to witness something that would scar her for life, she felt like she was intruding in a private moment between two people that loved each other.

"I don't want to lose her Hap. I don't want her to wake up one day and realise that she was better off in Tacoma with her family and coming here was a waste of time."

Sarah felt her chest swell. Asher had saved her, had brought her into her home and now she didn't want to lose her. She felt horrible for treating her like shit. She loved living with her, it was so much better than living with her parents. Asher understood everything she was going through. After everything she was the one person in the world Sarah counted on. Taking a deep breath and swallowing her pride she made a show of stomping her feet and letting them know she was approaching before she stepped out into the living room to see them sitting at opposite ends of the couch.

"I'm not going anywhere so you can quit bitching." Sarah stated, facing down Asher. Asher smiled, her bright blue eyes shining and she jumped up and wrapped her arms around Sarah, wrapping her arms around her waist tightly.

"I just want you to be happy baby." She said into Sarahs dark hair and squeezed.

"I'm sorry." Sarah sighed and Asher squeezed her again.

"Me too." Realising they weren't alone, Sarah pulled away and looked over at Happy.

"Hey Uncle Happy." She said sweetly and Happy nodded in greeting. "What're you doing here?"

"On a run, kid." Sarah smiled knowingly. It was nice to know that when he went on a run the first thing he did was go and check on them. "How's school?"

"Shit, you know."

"Sarah." Asher warned, still standing beside her and Sarah shrugged.

"Sorry, but it is." She saw Happy grin, something that besides when she was with Asher she never saw from him. "Well…" she looked between the two, glad to have so easily diffused the situation between her and Asher, "I'm going to bed."

"Sare." Asher stopped her. "I had a meeting with your school today. That's why I was so pissed. They told me if you didn't pick up your game I would lose guardianship." Sarah felt her stomach plummet. She hadn't realised that. If she'd known she would never have skipped school. She loved living in Seattle with Asher. "You see where I'm going with this?"

"Yeah, Later, I've got school in the morning." She waved and disappeared back down the hall and heard Happy chuckle slightly as she left.

"Fuck…she's just like you."

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><p><strong>Seattle WA <strong>

**23****rd**** November 2006**

When Sarah got up the next morning for school she found Happy sitting at the kitchen bench, smoking and sipping on coffee.

"Asher hates people smoking inside." Sarah said as she poured herself a cup of coffee and looked over at the biker who was watching her with raised eyebrows. He didn't say anything just dropped his hand and picked up the glass ashtray that was filled with ash. Sarah had seen it in the cupboard above the sink, but never actually seen it in use. "Guess she likes you."

"Stop givin' her such a hard time, kid." He growled out, his voice gravelly and Sarah put her coffee cup down with a slight bang.

"I'm not." She'd apologised, why was he deciding just now to chew her out. And why the hell was he here? "Did you sleep here?"

"None of your fuckin' business." He replied and Sarah smirked.

"You and Asher huh? Can't say I didn't hear rumours." Sarah said, shrugging off his shut-your-fucking-mouth-before-I-shut-it-for-you tone.

"Don't know what ya talkin' 'bout kid." He replied and sipped at his coffee, tapping the ash off his cigarette. She wondered briefly if Happy had ever admitted to anyone that he was in love with Asher. Probably not, probably couldn't even admit it to himself.

"Lying, wow, that's a new one from you." She said, searching the drawers for a knife before leaning over and grabbing the loaf of bread that Asher had left out with sandwich ingredients for her. She lifted her gaze to look up at Happy, conveying that she wasn't being sarcastic. He had never lied to her. Happy was watching her with a cool calculating gaze that she was so used to that it didn't unnerve her like it was meant to. "So if the rumours are true, that's like what? Eight years?" Sarah asked, buttering her bread before dropping it back on the bench and searching for peanut butter in the array of jars on the counter. She didn't know why Asher bothered, she only liked two spreads.

"What did I just say?" Sarah pouted, not looking up from her sandwich making.

"I think it's cute. Why don't you make her your Old Lady?" She asked, spreading jelly over the top of the peanut butter and slapping the slices of bread together. Happy didn't say anything and Sarah furrowed her brow, he always answered her. Looking up she saw his gaze was focussed on her, cold and black, a warning on his face. "What? She didn't want to?"

"She wanted to stay here." He growled and Sarah cocked an eyebrow. What the fuck? She couldn't really imagine Asher giving up Happy to live in Seattle.

"Cause Seattle makes her _so_ happy." Sarah griped.

"Stop acting like a spoilt little brat. You know what she's done for you?" He snapped and Sarah jolted back with shock at his harshness.

"Geez who spit in your milk?" Sarah snarked back, taking a bit of her sandwich and propping a hand on her hip. "What's she done for me that's pissed you off so much?" She said through a mouthful of bread.

"I'm gunna go. Had enough back-chat for one mornin'" He said, grinding out his cigarette and swallowing the rest of his coffee, slamming the cup back down on the table.

"Fine, I thought the last person that would lie to me would be you." Sarah shouted after him and swallowed thickly when he turned around and faced her, his head dropped down so he was glaring at her so lethally she wondered if he wanted to kill her.

"You want the fuckin' truth kid?" He snapped and Sarah nodded. She did want the truth. She hated people leaving her out of the loop like the truth would somehow break her. "I wanted her in Tacoma and she said no because she wanted to keep you here. Happy kid?" Sarah gaped at him.

"She didn't want me to go back to my parents?"

"That wasn't an option kid, she came you came." He replied.

"You wouldn't mind me living with you?" She asked surprised. Happy didn't seem like the type to take on the burden of a teenager just for some chick.

"Fuck no. Someones gotta keep that bitch in line. I can't." He replied and Sarah smiled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Sarah said quietly and Happy shrugged.

"Later kid."

* * *

><p><strong>Seattle WA <strong>

**23****rd**** November 2006**

Asher was looking forward to having take-out for dinner as she headed towards the apartment, cartons in hand. Happy had called and said he'd be back in town late, asked her if she wanted him to come around to which she'd willingly agreed to. It wasn't like he was going to hang around, she had to make the most of him while she could. Pushing open the door she was greeted with silence which she found weird before dropping the cartons on the coffee table.

"Sare?" She called out and heard shuffling before the teenager came walking out of her room, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. "Where're you going?"

"I've got all the important stuff, even packed your favourite shoes, I'm ready to go." She said, smiling brightly and Asher furrowed her eyebrows and frowned at the sight in front of her.

"Okay…where are we going?" She asked, hoping playing along would give her some answers.

"Home." Sarah replied with a smile that Asher knew shouldn't be teamed with the word _home._

"Back to Tacoma? We're not going back to Tacoma Sarah." She said sternly and Sarah stomped her foot and dropped the bags, crossing her arms across her chest and glaring at Asher with kohl lined eyes.

"Happy told me he asked you to go back." Asher froze. She couldn't believe he'd told her.

"And I said no." Asher replied quietly and Sarah huffed.

"Why?"

"Because it's not an option Sarah." Asher replied harshly.

"Why not? He loves you and he wants us all to be together." Sarah cried and Asher softened slightly. She hated hurting Sarah like this, but this was for the best. "And you love him, we could be a family." She sobbed, her eyeliner running down her face and Asher walked forward and pulled her into a hug.

"Shh, baby." She ran her hand over the teenagers head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We are a family. You and me."

"It's not the same, Ash. We could live in a house and you and Happy could get married." She pleaded and Asher scoffed, pushing the girl back and looking down at the teenager. "I could go to school and we'd be happy!"

"You want to go back to the town where everyone knows what happened?" Asher asked.

"You trying to scare me?" Sarah said quietly and Asher shook her head.

"No sweetie, I'm trying to get you to think with your brain instead of your heart. We go back there a few times a year and you hate every minute of it, why do you think living there would be any different?"

"It just would be." Sarah shouted, making Asher cock an eyebrow. Boy was she set on this idea. "Why did you have to choose without asking me? I would have said yes." Asher sighed and took Sarah's hand, dragging her over to the couch and sitting her down, sitting beside her and looking at her seriously.

"Baby, don't blame yourself. This isn't all about you. And the part that is about you was done to protect you. Happy was pissed but he understood." Asher explained.

"What was the other part?" Sarah asked, wiping at her tearstreaked face. "Were you thinking with your brain or your heart?"

"Both baby. There's a lot of rules and you have to learn to accept a lot of things. Happy and I have broken a lot of rules, but there's some things, that if I gave up my life for him, I wouldn't be able to accept." Asher explained, feeling like telling a sixteen year old the hard truths of the Sons of Anarchy wasn't the right thing to do.

"What did you do to break the rules?" Asher shrugged. What didn't she do?

"Brothers aren't meant to touch other brothers girls, and even though your brother wasn't a Son yet, it still mattered." Biting her lip she thought back to those few early years when she was visiting Tacoma. "But we didn't care, I was young and foolish and well…horny and Happy was the bad-ass biker that was everything your brother wasn't." Sarah was waiting impatiently for her to continue. "You really wanna know all this sweetie?"

"The real story behind the Asher and Happy rumours, hell yes." Sarah exclaimed and Asher leant back on the couch and passed the teenager a carton of chinese.

"I tell you, you give up this idea on moving back to Tacoma. But…" She held the girls brown eyed gaze, "if you still feel the same in a few months, we will consider it, okay?" Sarah nodded.

"Okay."

"So what do you want to know?"

"Everything." Sarah insisted and Asher nodded.

"Right, well it started at Thomas' birthday party, I stumbled in on some blonde giving him a blow job in the bathroom." Asher smiled fondly as she remembered the cool look in his eyes when he'd watched her enter the bathroom, his gravelly voice in her ear in the backyard that had sent shivers down her spine.

"Gross."

"I know. Anyway we ran into each other a couple of times- he was a complete douche. But well…I was attracted to that back then." She bit her lip again.

Sarah laughed as Asher continued to the story of her and Happy. Outlining every rule they'd broken, from him breaking Blues rule of not touching his kids girlfriend, to Happy defending her when Riley had ousted them. "You see, baby, pay attention- rules with the club is- if the bitch cheats on a Son with another Son, she's either out or a crow eater. No Son is meant to lay claim on her and well Happy doesn't like sharing so I left, but Happy didn't like that either and ended up laying your brother out for mouthing off about it."

"Riley is a douche." Sarah muttered and Asher shrugged.

"Nah, he was just hurt." She went on to explain that another rule that had been broken was the no bitch leaves the club alive rule. "Happy's a hard ass but he wouldn't stop me when I asked to leave. Not many men are strong enough to do that." A few stories later there was a knock at the door and Asher glanced at her watch, realising they'd been there for hours.

"Speak of the devil." She muttered, walking over and pulling the door open to see Happy standing on the other side. They didn't say a word to each other, he just walked in and took Asher's spot at the end of the couch.

"Sup kid?" He asked as he took the chinese carton from the teenagers hand and inspected the contents.

"Not much." Sarah replied, watching Asher roll her eyes and head to the kitchen to get beer no doubt.

"What's with the bags?" He asked and Sarah rolled her head over to see the duffle bags on the ground.

"I was going on a sleepover." Sarah lied and turned back to Happy. Asher re-appeared and handed Happy an open beer and handing over a soda to Sarah. Just as she went to walk over to the recliner, Happy wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, somehow managed to get her sitting on him, with the beer and chinese in his hand. Asher leant into his chest, enjoying the warmth his body was giving off, despite the fact that Sarah was sitting two feet from them.

"Where you going hooker?"

"Hap…" Asher groaned, not wanting him to pull his SOA bullshit in front of the teenager no matter how she'd grown up.

"Stop mothering her Ash, she's gotta learn. She's gunna end up with a Son." Happy informed Asher, like Sarah wasn't there.

"I'm not going to end up with a Son." Sarah snorted and Asher cocked an eyebrow. She really wished the teenager wouldn't but she knew the truth, Happy just voiced it.

"Yeah whatever kid." he muttered.

"I won't."

" It's in your blood kid. Can't fight that shit." Happy said and Asher stifled a laugh behind her hand. "What're you laughing at bitch?"

"_Can't fight that shit_." Her voice was mocking, "Look at you Killer, you're going soft." She teased and squealed when there was a hard pinch in her side.

"Shut your mouth, hooker." He threatened and Sarah watched the exchange with amusement. Her mother was an Old Lady, but she'd decided to stay away from the club, instead playing the doting housewife, but Asher, Asher was the kind of woman that the Club needed. Tough, not afraid of her man and loyal to the end. Sarah couldn't help but wonder if Happy ever got Asher back to Tacoma where would Lorcas Old Lady status stand.

"Hooker me again asshole and you can go back to whatever shithole motel you were staying in." Asher warned. "And if my girl ends up with a Son, which won't be for a long time, I hope she doesn't have to put up with this shit." She patted his chest with a smile on her face to tell him she wasn't pissed at him, knowing that he'd probably be pissed at her but.

"I'm going to go to bed. Too much sexual tension in here." Sarah said, standing up and putting her empty soda can on the table. "See you crazy kids in the morning."

"Night baby." Asher called after her.

"Later kid." Happy muttered, but Sarah could already see he was more focussed on other things.

"Think you can keep that shit down for once?" he growled into Asher's neck when the teenagers door slammed shut and Asher smirked, rolling over so she was straddling him. Taking the carton of chinese and the beer bottle from his hands she placed them on the table before scooting closer to him, still kneeling on his legs.

"You put ideas into her head Hap." She said quietly as she leaned into him. "She wants to go back to Tacoma. Thinks we can be a family."

"It wasn't an idea, Ash. I meant it."

"I know." She said quietly, resting her forehead against his. "Doesn't make it any easier to tell her no though."

"Kid wants to come back, bring her back." He growled, annoyed that she was still fighting him on this.

"It's not just her." Asher admitted and Happy pushed his head back to look at her. "I'm not Old Lady material Hap, that shit doesn't sit well with me." She said quietly.

"Whatever." He muttered and she slapped his arm.

"Don't whatever me asshole. I'm trying to talk to you about us and you're acting like a bitch." She sneered and he grabbed her ass with his large hands and yanked her into him, letting her feel the hard on he was sporting. "Hap." She groaned, rolling her hips to create a bit of friction between them, praying that Sarah was listening to her iPod. "I don't want to live in Tacoma."

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><p>AN: Well? Don't worry! Things will get better eventually...Review! xx


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! Again this is a bit jumpy and if it's a problem let me know! I love every bit of feedback. Enjoy xx

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Four - Stealing <strong>

_We had a good time  
>Then it was sorrow<br>I call it stealing  
>You call it borrow<br>I want my heart my heart back  
>If you're not going to keep it<br>If you've got no uses  
>Then I'm going to need it<em>_**  
>-Gavin DeGraw<strong>_

__**Seattle WA **

**1****st**** October 2007**

"Asher look, I'm sorry aight, but I can't tell you anything right now." Asher sighed as her best friend confirmed what she already knew.

"It's Clay isn't it?" She said quietly as she leant against the side of the building and pushed up the sleeves of her undershirt.

"Baby girl, I can't answer shit, you know that. Just wait for him to call you."

"Okay Pete." She played with the ends of her ponytail. "Thanks."

"Asher…" Spanner sighed down the line. "Look I'll tell him aight? I gotta go."

"Thanks." Then there was a click and Asher could hear nothing. It had been three months since she'd seen Happy. Up until that point he'd been adamant about coming to see her at least once a month. She had thought they were finally getting the hang of this whole normal relationship thing. Taking a deep breath she pushed away from the wall and headed back inside, into the hospital and back into her ward.

She gave a small wave to the nurse at the front desk and walked into the rec room, sighing when she saw the sight in front of her.

"Now Mrs Morrison, I know that the cancer hasn't affected your eyesight. Why are you smoking here?" Asher tried to put her best serious face on as she looked down at the woman that would have been in her late fifties, sitting in a chair near the window in the almost empty recreation room in the chemotherapy ward.

"Leave me in peace, girl! I'm dying."

"So you keep saying." Asher muttered, rolling her eyes at the brash woman. "Can you at least take it out onto the balcony so I can shut the curtains." The older woman rolled her eyes but stood anyway and let Asher open the door for her, where there was another older woman sitting kicked back in a chair. "You know smoking increases your risks right?" she said as the women started to whisper to each other like old friends.

"We're here for chemotherapy, not your opinion." Mrs Morrison sniped and Asher just rolled her eyes and left, closing the door behind her. It was completely against hospital regulations, but the women had a point, they had cancer- they wanted to savour the things they loved.

The beeper on her hip went off loudly and she glanced down at it before heading out of the rec room and out to the elevator. The door was just closing when someone yelled to hold the door and she reached out and stopped it. Striding past the sliding doors, tapping on his cell phone, Michael Slatter sauntered in and hit the already lit button for the ground floor. Asher leant against the side of the elevator and crossed her arms across her chest as she watched the Doctor lazily chew on gum as he typed on his phone. His sandy blonde hair was spiked up in a way that was way too young for a doctor, but he wasn't much older than her.

"See ya Asher." He said, stepping out of the elevator and striding off as Asher rolled her eyes for the third time.

"Asshole." Striding over to the waiting desk she leant over and smiled at the nurse sitting behind it. "Hey Bettina, someones here for me?" The little red head popped her head up and smiled.

"Third row." Asher turned and looked at the waiting patients, years of practise making it easy to scan the small crowd. And sure enough her eyes found someone familiar and she felt her heart leap into her throat as she saw the familiar brown eyes and tanned skin. Their eyes caught and a small smile flickered onto their face as they stood up.

Asher pasted a smile on her face and walked over to greet them.

"Hello Asher."

"Mrs Lowman." Asher automatically noticed the changes on the woman since the last time she'd seen her. Her cheeks were looking hollow under her high cheekbones and her hair had been cut short.

"Nora, sweetheart." Looked like Happys mother had gotten over her hate for Asher.

"How can I help you?"

"Hap mentioned you worked with cancer patients." Everything clicked and Asher softened her smile.

"Are you here to ask my opinion?"

"If you don't mind." Asher nodded. This was Happys mother, she didn't mind at all.

"Lets get some coffee."

* * *

><p>"Have you seen a doctor?" Asher asked as they were seated at the tiny table on the footpath, coffees neglected in front of them.<p>

"Yes, he said I need to get some further tests." Nora answered and Asher felt a pang of sadness for the woman in front of her. "I got the hint, coughing up blood and I have trouble breathing, all my smoking even made my only child sound like a smoker from the moment he was out of my womb." Noras slightly raspy voice chuckled.

"Have you booked an appointment?" The silence followed and Asher wondered if Happy had picked up a lot of his traits from his mother, rather than years in the club and jail. "I'll get you one, our Doctor is the best in the state."

"I don't want to ask favours Asher." Nora said quietly.

"Then why are you here?" A familiar flash of the original woman Asher had met. Protective and fierce at Ashers bluntness.

"Because I trust you." It was almost a hiss but Asher was used to the Lowman gene by now.

"Well trust me, getting this taken care of immediately is the best thing you can do." Nora nodded, her head down and Asher reached over and touched the older womans hand. "I'll be there the whole time."

"Thank you Asher."

"Does Hap know?"

"I'll tell him when I know what I'm dealing with." Nora replied, spinning her coffee cup.

"Okay."

"I don't know what happened with my son and you, but if he can trust you, I can trust you." Asher nodded- it was true . "But you can't tell him." She knew she had to agree. If Nora was sick and stayed in Seattle, Asher would be bound by her code, but that didn't mean it sat right. Happy was someone she never comfortably lied to.

* * *

><p><strong>2nd October 2007 <strong>

"You look like shit." Sarah was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table and Grumpy asleep on the floor when Asher walked through the door.

"Nice to see you too."

"Uncle Koz called, said something about something and blah blah. I saved you some dinner." Asher lifted her hand to look at the watch on her wrist. It was eight am in the morning.

"I'm going to shower." She sighed and walked past, patting the dogs head when it trotted over to her.

"Okay. There's something I wanted to ask you about when you finish." Asher paused, looking over at the girl that was practically a daughter to her now.

"What is it?" She'd had enough surprises for one day so she stopped and pulled her hair out of it's ponytail and taking off her glasses. Sarah ran a thumb over the thick scar on one of her wrists.

"I want to cover my scar." She said quietly and Asher furrowed her brow, sitting down on the couch and dumping her handbag on the floor.

"Like get it removed?"

"No, I mean…it's important to me." Asher rose her eyebrow. "I want to get a tattoo." Asher hadn't been much older than Sarah when Happy had tattooed her on top of a piano in the SAMTAC clubhouse. "Does it hurt?"

"No, not really. Getting it on your wrist is different though I guess." Asher said quietly, stroking Grumpys head. "You sure you want it Sare?"

"Yeah I've been thinking about it for ages." Sarahs blue-grey eyes were watching Asher for her reaction.

"Um…well…if that's what you want Sare."

"Can you help me get it?" The teenager asked and Asher ran a hand through her blonde hair.

"I can't get a…a hold of Hap at the moment. But I know someone that might do it for you. If that's what you want." Sarah nodded, her messy brown hair falling around her face.

"Yeah."

"Okay baby, um…" Standing up Asher picked her bag up again. "I'm gunna have a shower and a sleep, then we can go out."

"Thanks Asher." Asher nodded and started towards the bathroom. "Hey, Ash." She paused and turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? What's going on with Hap?"

"Nothing Sare, he's just got club stuff." She gave a weak smile, "I really need a shower."

* * *

><p><strong>2<strong>**nd**** October 2007**

Asher opened her eyes slowly to see the screen of her phone flashing in front of her face. Flipping it open she held it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"You busy?" The gravelly voice down the line made her sit up, remembering all the things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

"Hap?"

"Yeah," She heard him shift and wondered where he was. "Stop harassing Spanner."

"I wasn't harassing anybody." Asher replied tiredly, lying back down on the mattress. "I was just worried." She admitted, too tired to worry about playing games. They'd managed to get past the part where they had to mess with each others heads.

"Stop worryin' doesn't fuckin' help anyone."

"Aight. I got other shit to do anyways like take a seventeen year old to get a tattoo." She heard a low growl before a small chuckle.

"You wanna tell her parents that?"

"She wants to cover her scars, I don't blame her." She sighed and rolled onto her back. "Clays working you hard isn't he?"

"Mother Charter needs it done."

"Yeah." Asher knew better than to question his loyalty to the club, no matter how much it impacted on their relationship. "I guess it does."

"I'll call ya when it's done." Remembering his mother being there the day before Asher sighed.

"Okay." Then it clicked and he was gone. A low whine came from the end of the bed and Asher glanced down to see Grumpy just before he jumped up on the bed and came to curl up beside her. "Yeah I miss him too."

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA<strong>

**2****nd**** October 2007**

Happy didn't like doubting the club, he didn't like doubting his president, and he didn't like doubting the mother charter. Back in the day, it would have been hard to sway his loyalty, but these days it was getting harder and harder to remember why he killed without asking any questions. Whenever his loyalty wavered he packed his shit up and headed to wherever Asher was. He knew she hated the club, but somehow she always convinced him to go back, whether it was through harsh words or a look. She would always remind him that being loyal mattered because she was always loyal to him.

It got harder once Clay found out. He was forced to prove his loyalty to the club. He knew it fucked him up. He was harder, faster and deadlier. But now, Clay was questioning his loyalty again since he'd found out Asher was in Seattle and was a regular visit on Happys run up north. That didn't sit too well with Clay, even though he'd cleared it with Lorca. Now, he was babysitting a fucking Mayan warehouse, Tig and the Scotsman Chibs beside him.

"How's your girl?" Tig looked over as Happy flipped the phone shut and tucked it into his cut.

"She's aight." He muttered. She didn't sound alright. She sounded tired and pissed off but at least she was still answering the phone.

"You got a lass these days Hap?" Chibs asked, looking over at him but Happy ignored him, letting Tig answer for him.

"Ain't no ordinary gash. Asher Hayden." Chibs made an 'o' shape with his mouth before closing it quickly and turning away, knowing better than to ask anymore questions. "These fuckin' wetbacks…" Tigs attention went back to the caravan cookhouse that they were watching, letting Happy go back to his thoughts about Asher.

Things had gotten difficult with Sarah moving in. Asher was trying to give Sarah a normal life and having a son turn up in the middle of the night didn't exactly help with stability. He made a silent promise to himself that as soon as this shit with Charming was over he'd go and see her. At least put her at ease. She worried too much. She hardly ever admitted it, but he knew her.

* * *

><p><strong>Seattle WA<strong>

**7****th**** October 2007**

It had been three months since Asher had had someone with such tanned hands grip hers so tightly. Not since she'd seen Happy last, but now as she held onto Nora Lowmans hand she couldn't help but notice the similarities between the woman and her offspring and how different her skin looked next to hers. Where Happys had been tattooed, Noras was weathered and creased, making the ink on Ashers wrist stand out even more.

Asher couldn't believe how good the ink looked on her skin. Sarahs design was amazing, the girl could draw anything, and even the tattooist was in awe of the intricate rosary bead design. Side by side, the tattoos on their arms looked identical, except where the cross would have rested on the underside of their wrists each had a word. Sarahs read 'faith' and Ashers read 'blessed'. Asher hadn't been able to help herself, she'd always loved tattoos and Sarah had been more than willing to have Asher suffer alongside her.

"I'm sorry Mrs Lowman." Dr Mary Stanford, a friend of Ashers threw her an apologetic look. "Your test results confirm that you have stage two lung cancer. Now, I can schedule appointments to start your treatment, if you want to stay here in Seattle." The doctor said gently and Asher felt Noras hand squeeze hers tighter.

"I'm going back to Bakersfield."

"Well, I can organise for your treatment there if you'd like." The woman had stern look on her face, much like her sons as she nodded.

"Thanks Mary." Asher said quietly and the doctor nodded before leaving the small room. "Nora?" Asher turned her head to look at the woman.

"I have to call my son." Nora said quietly and Asher nodded, slipping her phone from her pocket.

"Here you go."

"Thank you Asher." Nora said quietly before Asher let her hand go and gave the woman some privacy.

* * *

><p><strong>Seattle WA<strong>

**7****th**** October 2007**

Once again, Asher was woken by her cell ringing and the light flashing in front of her face.

"Hello?"

"Did you get my message?" Blues voice rang in her ear and Asher sat up slowly, running a hand through her hair.

"Uh…yeah, I did. Sarahs going to catch the bus back." She rubbed her eyes and glanced over at the clock beside her bed. It was eleven pm for fucks sake. "I can't get back, not this weekend anyway."

"Aight, thanks baby girl." Blue said, obviously thrilled that his daughter was coming for a visit. "Hey, hang on, Hap wants to talk to you." Asher rose her eyebrow as she heard the phone exchange hands. Happy never just wanted to talk to her. Then she remembered. His mother had called him that morning, telling him she had cancer.

"Asher where the fuck are you?" His words were slurred and Asher felt something in her break.

"Hap…"

"My ma has cancer."

"I know Hap." She said quietly and heard his scoff.

"Of course you do, you're like fuckin' pandoras box with all your secrets."

"She asked me not to tell you, I got her to call you as soon as possible." She reasoned but could still tell it wouldn't change anything. "I'm sorry Hap."

"Yeah, tell me that when she's dying." He bit back and the phone hung up. Asher looked down at the phone and sighed. She was meant to be putting Sarah on the bus tomorrow morning. Climbing off the bed she walked out into the apartment and found Sarah curled up on the couch with Grumpy.

"Hey." Sarah looked up at her in surprise. Usually after a double night shift, Asher slept until midday. "You packed?"

"Yeah."

"We're leaving early. I'll get Janice to look after Grumpy."

"What happened?" Sarah asked, sitting up straighter.

"Nothing…yet."

* * *

><p>AN: Review! Please...


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all for your reviews! I hope I answered the questions that some of you asked. As always feel free to leave me any queries or ideas. I'm always interested in hearing other peoples opinions. Again thank you all so much! I promise things start getting better soon. PROMISE xx

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Five - China <strong>

_Shes as distant as a winter sun  
>More persistent then the beating of a drum<br>Everytime that I go there  
>I know there's only so much she can take<br>Before she breaks  
>She breaks like china<br>the longer we take  
>the bigger she breaks<br>She breaks like china  
><em>_**-Sparkadia**_

**Tacoma WA **

**8****th**** October 2007 **

The front of the Tacoma Auto was empty, a few stragglers from the night before slowly making their way home.

"Asher?" Asher turned to look at Sarah in the passenger seat of the Camaro. "Can you tell me what's going on?" Parking the car, Asher took a deep breath and leant against the steering wheel before looking over at Sarah.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, I promise Sare." Sarah didn't look convinced and Asher knew it was weak, but things were volatile with Happy at the best of times and risking Sarah being exposed to it was something Asher wanted to avoid. "Just enjoy the weekend with your parents. I will call you."

Sarah nodded and slipped out of the car, sparing Asher a glance before she was called over to the reception by her mother and a twenty-one year old Thomas who was strikingly similar looking to his older brother. Asher watched as they disappeared into the main building and ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. Now or never.

The reaper stared her down but she ignored it as she pushed through the door and through the stinking bar and up the stairs to Happys room. Pushing open the door, she swallowed the sick feeling that crawled up her throat at the sight in front of her. She knew deep down that if she wanted this to stop, she'd have to move back to Tacoma and declare herself an old lady. That's why she took a deep breath, plastered a bored look on her face and leant over the end of the bed.

"Hey." Asher nudged the foot of the sweetbutt who was lying sprawled out on the bed, completely naked except for the tiny g-string that stood out against the fake tanned flesh. "Hey!" She nudged again and the girl groaned, lifting her head slightly from the pillow and turning it to look at her.

"What?" She croaked.

"Move yo' ass sugar." She ordered and threw the girl her dress as Happy started to stir. "Now." The sweetbutt, knowing her place jumped up and pulled the dress over her head, tugging at the hem before grabbing her shoes and sneaking from the room under Asher's watchful gaze. Once the door clicked Asher turned her head to the man strewn across the bed. He'd clearly wrecked himself last night. The pink scratches across his flesh indicated that the sweetbutt gave as good as she got, but Asher knew something was up. He wouldn't let some broad mark him like that.

Crawling across the bed, she ignored the smell of pussy and smoke on the sheets and nudged his shoulder gently.

"Fuck off bitch." He muttered into his pillow and she had an overwhelming sense of pride that that had never been said to her when she was in the sweetbutts situation.

"Should I join your whore outside?" She asked and saw his muscles tense before he turned his head and opened bleary eyes. "Hey."

"Asher." He croaked and she nodded, sweeping her fingers over his cheek on impulse before retracting her hand quickly. "What're you doin' here?" Sitting up he rubbed his eyes, not bothering to cover up his naked form as he leant against the head of the bed and reached for his cigarettes. Asher watched as he lit one up and inhaled before speaking.

"Do you want me to lie?" She asked quietly and he gave her a sceptical look. He never wanted her to lie to him, no matter what. "Blue called me." She said quietly and he sighed.

"What'd he say?"

"It wasn't what he said, Hap." She replied and saw Happys chest heave as he remembered the night before. Calling her, drunk.

"Nothin' for you to worry 'bout baby girl."

"Never is with you, but still…" She replied and he nodded. Yeah he got it. She worried herself sick about him when she was getting drunken phonecalls. "How's your mum? Are you going to see her?" Asher asked, cocking her head to the side, her blonde hair spilling to the side.

"Nah, I will but." He inhaled again, his cool calculating eyes on her the whole time and Asher could imagine he could see every inch of her was looking for a sign that he accepted her comfort. That he did need her. "Wanna come with?"

"Hmm."

"Don't hmm me hooker. You comin' or not?" He barked and saw her lip twitch as her bright blue eyes held his.

"One day I'm not going to be here to take your insults old man." She warned but he finally smiled, stubbing out his cigarette and reaching over to grab her arm, sending a pleasant jolt through her entire body.

"Don't bullshit baby girl." He retorted and jerked her forward onto his lap. "Don't suit yo' ass." Asher smiled, leaning down so their lips were a breath away from each other. Her hands rested on his bare chest and her eyelids fluttered slightly. Her whole body was screaming at her to give in and let him fuck her senseless like he usually did. But the fact that not five minutes ago she'd kicked a sweetbutt out of his bed reminded her that she was here for a reason and it was not to fuck Happy. It was to fix Happy.

"Come on tiger, get up and shower. Your mamas waiting for us."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you fuckin' forced me into this cage." Happy growled as he sat in the passenger seat of the Camaro. Asher rolled her eyes and glanced over at him and rose an eyebrow. It was his idea to take the car and now he was complaining.<p>

"Is that the hangover or the post orgasmic glow wearing off?" She said, turning her attention back to the road and seeing the glare from him out of the corner of her eye.

"You got a smart mouth on you girl." He growled as he leant on his hand and stared through the windscreen. "How's the kid?" He asked after a minute of silence and Asher shrugged.

"Sares good." She smiled slightly, glancing over at him. "Thought you were going to call when you finished in Charming?" There was silence. Asher chanced a look at him and sighed as she turned back to the road. "Sorry I brought it up."

"You wanna talk Asher, we got a long ass trip ahead." He growled and Asher rolled her eyes. Had this been three years ago, it would have been a different story. "I ain't gettin' any younger."

"Got that right." Asher muttered and felt a large hand grab her wrist and put it between them.

"What's this?" His large fingers were wrapped around her arm, the sleeve of her shirt pushed up to her elbow.

"What's it look like?" She asked, letting him hold her arm, turning to inspect the work, his thumb grazing over the word 'blessed' on the underside of her wrist.

"Looks like you got inked with someone elses needle." He replied, and she could feel his brown eyes boring a hole in the side of her head.

"Looked to me like you were inking someone else with _your_ _needle_ last night." She replied ignoring him and keeping her focus on the road.

"You know it ain't no _needle_ baby girl."

"Cute." God she was glad she didn't have any parents that she had to introduce him to.

"Look I was gunna call."

"I know." She replied, no harshness there. She knew better than to provoke Happy in a small confined space when he was strapped. "Three months was a bit long. Clay must have been pissed."

* * *

><p>Happy watched Asher focus on the road. She had large dark aviator sunglasses on and he couldn't see those damn pretty eyes of hers. His head was pounding from too much liquor the night before, but part of him didn't mind. He'd spent the best part of the last three months in California doing jobs for Clay Morrow and the Mother Charter. There were three more little smiley faces under his ribs and a few more scars but he was still alive and now he was sitting in a car with Asher Hayden.<p>

"Yeah…" Clay had turned up in Tacoma one of the weekends that Happy had been at Ashers in Seattle.

Yeah, Clay had been pissed.

"Sorry." She pouted her lips and he knew she was thinking of ways to fix it.

"Ain't your fault baby girl." He admitted. It had never been her fault. He'd pursued her in the first place.

"Then why do I keep getting punished?" He felt his jaw clench and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry, we're going to see your mum, this isn't about us." He brushed his thumb over her wrist again, and felt his lip twitch. Not many people knew that Asher worried so much about people. Sarah, his mum, him. Hell even he forgot sometimes. He should have called her.

"Nah I asked."

"Yeah, you did." She gave him a small smile and he watched her face relax as they fell into silence. It wasn't uncomfortable. He liked that about Asher. Besides the mind-blowing sex and the tough-bitch attitude, the fact that Asher knew when to be quiet was one of the things that attracted him to her so much. And she was fucking beautiful.

God she was pretty. Those other women, the sweetbutts and the croweaters were easy. They were there when he couldn't be fucked to put in any effort and they were easy. But they were fake and she was real. And when it came to serious shit like him getting jailed or his mum getting cancer, she was there in an instant.

"Was thinkin' maybe you might wanna come back next year?" he saw her eyebrows raise above her sunglasses.

"Are you still drunk?"

"Don't be a fuckin' bitch." He grumbled, a bit pissed that she was laughing at him. He'd been thinking about it for ages. Sarah was graduating next year and then Asher wouldn't have any excuse to turn him down.

"How many times have we had this talk and we fail at it everytime." She sighed and he could practically see her rolling her eyes behind the sunglasses. "You could always come to Seattle for good." She replied coolly and Happy almost chuckled.

"Nomad?"

"No…well…"

* * *

><p><em>Nomad. <em>

Like it was a possibility.

"Is that an option?" She asked weakly without taking her eyes off the road. The instant flash of them living a normal life in Seattle came to mind and Asher felt her heart skip a beat. "Could you go Nomad?"

She heard the telltale signs of one of his long drawn out, I'm-not-sure-I-want-to-go-there sighs but before he spoke, the familiar ringing of his phone interrupted them. He pulled it out of his cut and flipped it open.

"Yeah?" Asher tuned out, knowing better than to eavesdrop on Happys SOA related phonecall and wondered about their previous conversation. Could he really give up Tacoma for Nomad and play happy families with her in Seattle? The longer he was on the phone, the clearer it became that becoming Nomad was not for them. She vaguely remembered the talk they'd had years ago about becoming an Old Lady, about the crushing effect it would have on both of them. It would ruin _them _forever.

She heard him snap the phone shut and turn his head towards her.

"We're in California. I'm not turning around." Asher muttered and saw his lip twitch out of the corner of her eye.

"Keep driving woman." He replied and Asher smirked. "We're not in Bakersfield yet."

* * *

><p>Asher pulled the Camaro onto the curb in front of the old American home and saw Nora standing in the front garden watering her plants. Happy was out of the car before Asher could say anything and she sat there for a minute to let them greet each other before she got out and walked up there, sticking her hands deep in her leather jacket pockets, pulling the coat tighter around her body as she walked up the path.<p>

"Asher." Nora sighed when she saw her and Asher plastered a smile on her face.

"Hi Nora." She didn't miss the fact that Happy was watching his mother very carefully for every move. "How are you?"

"Better now sweetheart." Nora pulled her into a hug and Asher could feel the womans spine through her thin dress. "Lets go inside." Asher and Happy followed her inside and let her fuss over them for awhile until her and Happy went out onto the patio, Asher excusing herself so that the mother and son could talk. As the sun set behind the old house, Asher searched the fridge, deciding to make herself useful.

* * *

><p>The smell of chicken satay was wafting through the kitchen as Asher stirred the contents of the pan when she was interupted.<p>

"Smells good." The large hand on her hip sent a pleasurable jolt through her body.

"Where's your ma?" Asher asked, looking over her shoulder as Happy stood behind her, his chest pressed to her back.

"Takin' a bath." He said in her ear and Asher put the wooden spoon down so she could turn around in his arms and look up at him.

"Really?" She asked coyly, wrapping her fingers around the leather cut on his chest. Biting her lip Asher smiled. "Did she tell you everything?"

"Yeah." He nodded slightly, but didn't elaborate and Asher nodded as well.

"She's going to be okay Hap, she's getting the best treatment she can and she'll recover." She reassured but he leant down and kissed her hungrily, catching her lips with his. His large hand knotted in her hair and Asher groaned, letting him press her up against the oven. "We're going to get caught." She laughed when he pulled away, probably to lift her up onto a bench. She felt like a teenager again. A very very horny teenager. "Hap." She whispered when a door slammed down the hall and she pushed him away adjusting the her shirt.

"You want me to make up the spare bed?" Noras raspy voice called out from the hall and Asher spun around to stir the pot again. She didn't need to turn around to know that Happy was running a hand over his head in frustration.

"Nah, we'll just stay in my room." Happy replied and Asher heard something slam again and then there was silence. "That got much longer?" he asked Asher and she looked over her shoulder.

"About ten minutes."

"Aight." Then he left, Asher watching his cut clad back disappear down the hall.

* * *

><p>Happy found his mother tucking clean sheets in on his old bed. The bedroom hadn't changed much since he was a kid, there were posters from Hustler and old Harley manuals and boxing gloves hanging on the bedpost.<p>

"Hey." He called out and his mother looked up, smiling. "Asher's cooked dinner." He saw her smile disappear and she sat down on his bed. She looked old. He'd never thought she was old, she was just sixty yet she looked sad and thin. She'd always been strong and stern only laughing when his father was around. But now she was a far cry from the mother he'd known.

"Come sit." Taking a seat on the bed beside his mother he watched her play with the wedding band that was still on her finger after all these years. "I know Ashers a good girl. God knows I do." She leant into his side, something that only Asher usually did. "But she's not the one for you, Hap." Happy pushed her away forgetting the events of the last few days. She was back to being the mother he'd always known. Very similar to the one that had kicked Asher out all those years ago.

"Fuck ma, I ain't doin' this again." He stood up and looked down at her, her brown eyes watching him with seriousness.

"You're too old for her, Hap. And you can't give her everything she wants." He could feel himself getting angrier and angrier and had to remind himself that this was his mother. He'd had people telling him that Asher and him weren't good for years, nearly ten years. But this was his mother. Of all people she should understand. "One day she's going to want a wedding and a baby and a stable life. These are all things you can't give her."

"Asher's not like that." He replied. Asher had never expressed any need for marriage or babies. Yeah, she didn't like the club, but she wasn't going to force him out of it.

"She's young Hap. She has her whole life ahead of her."

* * *

><p><strong>Bakersfield CA <strong>

**9****th**** October 2007**

Asher was curled up in the bed, staring at the wall in front of her in the dark. The sheets were still cool on Happys side of the bed, him having opted to sit outside with his mother. It gave her time to think about the conversation she'd accidently stumbled upon when she'd gone to the bathroom.

Nora's words still echoed in her head.

_One day she's going to want a wedding and a baby and a stable life. These are all things you can't give her._

The worst part was she knew that Nora was right. She may not have wanted kids or marriage, but she craved stability. She needed stability after a life of turmoil. And she'd always known that Happy couldn't give her that, that's why she was okay with only seeing him every few weeks, but how long could they keep it up? That morning when she'd found the whore in his bed had been a slap in the face and it had brought the reality home that she was just living in the now, there was no real future for them. Neither of them were going to change their minds. She'd never move back to Tacoma and he'd never move to Seattle.

She felt the covers lift and Happy slide in behind her and she turned around as he wrapped an arm around her. His bare chest was hot and she pressed herself up against it, enjoying the warmth he radiated.

"Something on your mind?" She asked quietly, wondering if he'd be the one to tell her they were fighting a lost cause.

"Thought you were sleepin'."

"Hmm." She snuggled in closer, splaying her hand over his stomach. The last few years meant she knew his body like a map and she knew that if she just raked her fingernails across that little cluster of smiley faces under his ribs…

"Asher." He groaned and she pressed her lips to his chest. "Watch it." She smiled and continued her journey down his tattooed skin feeling his fingers knot in her hair, tugging gently, pulling her back up. "I mean it." He growled and Asher bit her lip before she fell onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch." She sighed, sitting up and pushing the covers off but Happy wrapped an arm around her waist and pushed her back down on the bed, shifting so that he was lying on top of her. He found her lips and kissed her deeply and as much as Asher tried to resist, she caved and kissed him back. He growled into her neck and Asher replied by arching up into him, begging him to show her she still mattered to him. That he needed her as much as she needed him but she stopped, pushing him away and sitting up.

"I can't do this Hap." She got out of the bed and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She found a glass of water and drank it slowly before crawling onto the couch and curling herself up into the fetal position and trying to ignore how damn cold it was out there.

"You're a fuckin' stubborn bitch." A heavy blanket landed on her and Asher groaned, looking up at the figure standing over her.

"Hayden genes." She replied quietly, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders. "Thanks for the blanket." Muffled footsteps signalled him leaving and she closed her eyes again and tried to sleep.

* * *

><p>When she woke up again she was warm. Too warm.<p>

With a start, Asher sat up, looking around and saw she wasn't on the couch anymore. She was back in the bed, there was a large arm draped across her body and she could make out Happy lying next to her.

"You ass." She muttered and saw a glint of teeth in the dark.

"You wanna tell me what's got your panties in a twist?" He asked quietly and Asher suddenly felt like a bitch. Things had changed in the last few years and at some point it had gotten easier for them to talk. "You've been bitchy all fuckin' day." Asher sighed and lay back down.

"Just missed you I guess. Kinda got used to having you around." She muttered and felt him shift, pulling her into his side.

"Don't bullshit Asher." She smiled into his side and closed her eyes tiredly. She did miss him. But he wasn't stupid, he knew it was more than that.

"This thing with Clay," she took a deep breath before admitting what she'd thought when she'd seen the sweetbutt in his bed that morning, "is it over? Are you coming back to Seattle at all?"

"Don't know Ash." He sighed and Asher felt his arm shift.

"Aight, killer."

* * *

><p>AN: There you go- let me know what you think!


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Yeah I know- only updated yesterday! But I was feeling motivated...and then the news came on and I was like i'm going to update because there's been 21 shootings in Sydney in the last few weeks and yes it's biker related. Hells Angel V Nomads...last time I was in Adelaide they shot up a night club down the street. I'm not pretending to know what's going on but cuts aren't allowed to be worn in Kings Cross anymore and its all very serious. Really this kind of thing always happens just after one of the TV networks announces its showing a true story on crime in Aus and this years is about the wars in the last couple of years. Anyways thought you'd be interested to learn that. I'm pretty sure with a population of 19 million, bikers aren't the one-percenters they are in the states. Enjoy

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Six- Crying Lightening <strong>

_Outside the café  
>By the cracker factory<br>You were practising a magic trick  
>My thoughts got rude as you talked and chewed<br>On the last of your pick'n'mix  
>Your past time consisted of the strange<br>And twisted and deranged  
>and I loved that little game you had<br>Called crying lightening and how you used to aggravate the icecream man  
>On rainy afternoons<em>**  
><strong>_**-Artic Monkeys**_

**Somewhere over the Washington Border**

**9****th**** October 2007 **

Happy looked away from the windscreen to see Asher sitting in the passenger seat, her feet up on the bench seat as she stared out the passenger window. Ever since last night at dinner, she'd been quiet. He was used to that, what he wasn't used to was actually caring why she looked so damn sad. He missed her. He didn't like admitting it, but fuck he missed her. Whenever they were forced to stay away from each other like this it always ended with them having a fight over how committed either of them were to _this._ But she knew the life, she knew that the Club came first. If she didn't like it she would have gotten out years ago.

She rolled her head and looked over at him, one of those rare smiles gracing her features.

"What?"

"Nothing baby girl." He chuckled, turning back to the road and felt her shift on the seat before glancing over at her again.

"I've been thinking about what you said yesterday, about me coming back to Tacoma." She bit her lip and lifted her sunglasses off her face, planting them in her hair. "Maybe Nomad is the way to go, I mean…" She sighed and tried to avoid his eyes, "you're gunna want to be close to your mum so maybe I can come back to Cali. I can go back to my old job." Happy turned back to the road, trying not to let on how hard her words were squeezing on his heart. He knew it was a big sacrifice for her to want this. "Sarah finishes school in six months then she'll be going to UC. If that's what you want."

"Yeah…" He nodded. "Good." He saw her smile twitch slightly before she turned back to the passenger window.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**14****th**** March 2008**

"Sooo…" Asher looked over from the wheel of the car at Sarah who was sitting beside her, "Kozik took me to one of his meetings last time we were here."

"Meetings?" Asher was so focussed on the road ahead and getting to see Happy after two weeks since his last visit to Seattle, that she had no idea what Sarah was talking about.

"Yeah, his Narcotics meeting." Asher turned back to the road nodding.

"Oh," she didn't know how she felt about Kozik taking the girl she saw as her own daughter to one of his drug addict meetings. She didn't know much about Koziks junkie past and she didn't want to. Smoking a bit of weed as a teenager was one thing, snorting coke on a regular basis was another thing. She was pretty sure that if she knew all the dirty details of Koziks past she might not have been so keen to let him take Sarah anywhere.

"You know he's been clean for ten years?"

"Yeah…He's still going to meetings?"

"Sometimes, you know just to remind himself of what he used to be." Sarah cracked the top on the soda can and tapped her fingers on the table. "You know it's weird thinking of him as like a drug addict."

"Well that's what he was Sare." Asher sighed, "Drugs fuck people up."

"Have you ever done them?"

"Drugs?"

"Yeah…" She could see Sarah was unsure whether she was going to get an honest answer or not.

"I smoked a fair bit of weed back in the day." Sarah scoffed.

"Doesn't everyone?" Asher narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Not that I am…or ever have…I mean like proper drugs." Shaking her head Asher turned back to the road. She'd had to take a few pills after she'd gotten out of hospital after she'd killed Ainsley, most of the time just to have a good nights sleep, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.

"Nah…so how was it?"

"I don't know, it was just a bunch of old people talking about their feelings and how much better life was without drugs." Sarah replied, shrugging and Asher rolled her eyes. "I mean, come on, if life was so awesome without them, they wouldn't even think about relapsing."

"You're incredibly narrow minded, you know that right?" Asher replied and Sarah shrugged again.

"Whatever, you think Haps never done drugs?" Asher scoffed. Happy was one of those clear minded types. It was more often than not you would find him drinking a bottle of water at the end of the night then passed out on the couch. She had seen him drunk, there were certain aspects of their relationship that made both of them drink excessively, but deep down Happy was a club man, a club man that was ready for action at any moment.

"Not that I know of."

"Pfft. As if."

"Weed doesn't count." Asher replied as they passed the _Welcome to Tacoma _sign. "Home sweet home."

"Don't laugh mama, few more months and you'll be back in Cali." Yeah, only a few more months and she'd be property of SOA again. "Hey did you bring your drugs?" Asher rolled her eyes. They were antibiotics she'd gotten since having a very extreme case of the flu picked up from spending too much time at the hospital and not enough time sleeping.

"Got the drugs."

"Hope you're feeling better if you plan on making the most of your hooker reputation in Happys dorm room tonight." Sarah replied and Asher rolled her eyes. This was typical Sarah comment since she'd found out Asher had agreed to move back to California for Happy. Something that didn't seem like a good idea at all, but in a few months, that's where Sarah would be, and that's where Happy was spending most of his time these days.

"Wow, Charming don't do things by halves." Sarah scoffed as they drove into the crowded lot. It had been awhile since Asher and Sarah had come back on a party night, usually arriving the next morning when everyone was gone. Not this time though. Blue had wanted them there for Thomas' twenty-second birthday. Even if it meant having to deal with her Uncle and the California charter that Happy had more or less become part of in the last few months.

The fire bins were lit and there were Sons and hang-arounds and sweetbutts everywhere.

"Just great." Parking the Camaro next to an old Ford truck Asher gave Sarah a look, making her nod then they were both out of the car and striding towards the clubhouse.

"Don't make eye contact." Sarah said, looping her arm through Ashers and striding beside her, their boots clacking on the concrete and Asher took her advice and didn't take notice of the stares and the whispers. She had a right to be there.

They pushed open the door and Asher lost Sarah when the teenager was snatched from her side by an over enthusiastic Thomas.

"My little sister is homeeeeeee!" Was the last thing she heard before her eyes locked with dark brown ones from across the bar. She didn't miss the lip twitch or the beckoning finger and she took a deep breath and strode over to Happy, putting a slight swing to her hips.

"Get that ass of yours over here, hooker." He ordered when she was in hearing range. She wanted to bite back, but she was so _happy _to see him she just sauntered over to him and let him pull her over to him, his lips on hers before she could even comprehend what he'd done.

There were a few loud wolf whistles and Asher felt Happy lift his hand up, giving them the finger and she giggled into his mouth before pulling away and biting her lip.

"Sup Killer?" She drawled loving the way his dark brown eyes watched her with a familiar intensity.

"You remember who you're talking to, baby girl." He growled but she knew he was teasing. A few years had proved to work in the better for them.

_Fancy that._

"Aight," She gave him a small smile, "well I'm gunna…" Asher was well aware of where she stood with him though, and that meant not getting in his way. She jerked her head over to where Liz was talking to Sarah and Happy nodded.

"You want a drink?" He asked before she left and Asher shook her head.

"Can't, on antibiotics." This seemed to amuse him and he nodded again, letting her leave. Yeah, she was well aware that being sick had put a serious dint in her tendency to reach for the bottle. Who knew that it would be the flu that would slap the Hayden gene in the face.

Walking over to Liz she let the older woman pull her into a hug and squeeze her tightly.

"Asher, it's so good to see you." She said quietly and Asher relaxed, hugging her back.

"You too Liz."

"Oh so ya think you can just wander in here and show me up like that!" A loud voice said behind her and Ashers smile got bigger as Liz pulled away, giving her a grin before turning back to her daughter. Turning around had to look up to meet Spanners eyes.

"You know you're the only one for me Pete." She teased and Spanner jokingly grabbed at his chest.

"Ay mami, your lies breaka me 'eart." The fake accent was hilarious.

"What is that? Italian?" His green eyes rolled and he wrapped a large tattooed arm around her.

"Scottish, lass."

"Aye you stupid dick." A real Scottish accent interrupted and when Asher saw the guy in front of her, she was transported ten years back. "Hello love."

"Hey." Asher said shyly back to the man that had bummed a smoke off her ten years ago outside, "How are you Chibs?"

"Better now a lovely Lass like you remember me."

"Alright Scotty," Spanner joked but Asher knew there was warning to his tone, "_Asher _ain't interested in foreigners. She likes a real man." Asher saw the Scotsman raise an eyebrow.

"'Pologies darlin'." He grinned showing off the prominent scars on his cheeks before turning and leaving, calling out to Donut as he did. Asher looked up at Spanner waiting for some comment about scaring all the men away, but she didn't get it.

"What? You think that pash was greetin' baby?" He rolled his eyes but pulled Asher closer. "That's your man stakin' his claim. Means you start acting like a hussy, he's gunna start killin' people." Asher was all too well aware of Happys possessive streak. There were things she had common sense not to mention out loud, ever. Cameron McEvoys body found in a dumpster after he'd hit her or Adam going missing or Coach Ainsley. A shudder went through her body at the memory that she had locked away for the last seven years. Some things were better left unmentioned. She knew better than to even mention the boxing match that had occurred last time she'd been at a SAMTAC party.

"Don't go groping me then Peter Davies." She scoffed when he made a grab at her chest.

"Yeah yeah." Someone called his name and Spanner waved a hand briefly before turning back to her. "Well now you're off the market I gotta go and drown my sorrows baby." Then he was gone and Asher was left alone. Across the crowded clubhouse she saw a familiar fake blonde spot her and start moving a bit quicker on her platform heels.

"Nice to see you, Asher." Turning her attention away from the Californian sweetbutt, Asher found herself surrounded by old Ladies.

_Oh shit. _

"Hey." She said sheepishly before remembering her promise to Happy. She was going to be his Old Lady soon enough. Hell, she'd been around that club a lot longer than most of those women. And she didn't miss the spiteful glare she was getting from Courtney Stevenson nee Bragen. Looked like someone still wasn't happy even though they'd gotten their man. Trouble in paradise perhaps? Crossing her arms across her chest Asher maintained her stance. "Can I help you ladies?"

"Yeah." She recognised the other woman, she'd been in the gaggle last time she'd been in Tacoma, when Happy had taken the Prospect to the ring. "What're you doing here?"

"Who are you?" Asher asked, quirking her eyebrow and pointing briefly to the fake red-head.

"I'm Diana, my Old Mans VP." Bowie's woman. Well looked like Bowie had finally settled down. "That means you better show me some respect, _whore_."

"Funny," Asher replied, "how insecure you girls all get when little ol' me comes to town." She was looking for a bitch slap from at least one of the six girls that was in front of her. Some weren't even Old Ladies, just women that were friends of them. But nowhere in the throng was Bella and that gave Asher a little comfort. Taking on any of these bitches would be childs play, Bella was a whole other story.

"You don't scare us." Courtney said, stepping up to the plate. "Our old men love us."

"Then why are you over here threatening me?" Asher asked.

"Yes, _why_ is that?" It was amazing how quickly all their heads turned at the sound of Bellas voice. Asher had to hand it to her, woman was cool. Even standing there in leather pants, stilettos, white ruffled sleeveless top, hair pulled back tightly and cigarette in hand, she looked like she could kick ass.

"Just putting a bitch in her place." Diana replied, getting a bit bold with the queen in Ashers opinion.

"Watch your mouth with me darling." Bella said sternly. "You want to pick on someone go find a sweetbutt. Threaten Asher again and one of you will be going to hospital with your teeth in a plastic baggie, got it?" Asher had to hand it to Bella. She was a club woman through and through.

"Got it." Diana mumbled and shared a look with her sisters then they were gone.

"Plastic baggies are third draw down in the kitchen." Bella informed Asher before stepping past her but Asher called her name.

"Thanks, for everything." She hoped the old Lady understood that she also meant the Mia situation that had happened all those years ago.

"Just keep the slutting to a minimum, I can only do so much damage control."

"Got it." Asher replied and watched the woman saunter away.

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><p>AN: and she's back...what did you think?


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Feel the love people - review!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Seven – Rattling the Keys to the Kingdom <strong>

_I'm a train upon a track  
>I'm a flame upon a match<br>I want my face upon the map  
>Hush hear the voice<br>I'm addicted to the  
>Rush to fill the void<br>Just missing everything  
>We love to feel joy<br>Build it up  
>Then we<br>Crush, kill, destroy_**  
>-<strong>_**Hilltop Hoods**_**  
><strong>

**Tacoma WA **

**14****th**** March 2008 **

Mia felt a chill go down her spine when she saw the bright blue eyes of hells bitch across the bar. She hadn't changed much since last time Mia had seen her. And that didn't help . In a room full of fake beauty she was all natural blonde hair and perfection in her loose silver dress under a leather bomber jacket and flat biker boots.

Asher Hayden was back. And unlike everyone of her last visits, it seemed like she'd come out of hiding. Further proven when she saw Happy pull her into him and kiss her in a way she'd never seen him kiss anyone.

She'd kept her promise. She hadn't touched Happy since that day in the bar when Asher had given her a split lip. But the other girls didn't know Asher. In the last few years, they'd come and gone and now there was only a small number of them that even knew the history with Asher in the club.

The Old Ladies didn't seem to know this either. After getting out of Ashers eyeline, Mia could see the six of the women that had formed a bit of a posse in the last few years. Three of them old Ladys and the rest friends and relatives of the club. And Diana, the red headed bitch that liked to swing her weight around because she was the VPs woman when everyone knew that she used to be a topless waitress in Seattle.

"Better flag down Bowie." Bella warned and stepped past Mia who hadn't even been aware the queen was so close. Mia nodded and watched Lorca's old Lady saunter off. Bella and she had a mutual understanding that had come with time and experience. Ten years could change a lot of things and sometimes Mia was pretty sure Bella had more respect for her then she did for any of the other old Ladys.

Bowie was leaning against the bar next to Happy and Kozik. Taking a deep breath she walked over to the trio and tapped Bowie on the shoulder.

"What's up darling?" he asked, turning away from the conversation.

"Sorry to interrupt. Bella wanted me to ah…" She pointed over to where the group of women were standing and saw all three men look over in that direction.

"Shit." Bowie growled, glancing over at Happy who was watching on. Mia had seen the little display of possession that had occurred when Asher walked through the door. If she didn't know any better she'd think that Asher was back for good. "Sorry brother." Happy didn't say anything, but Mia saw a twitch to his lip. It was Kozik who replied.

"Your old lady's a game one." Then he chuckled and threw back a shot as Bowie walked off to stop the carnage that would follow if Diana overstepped her bounds. Mia took that as her cue to get the fuck outta there.

"What's going on?" Star, one of the newer girls, asked as she approached the bar with a pile of empty glasses.

"Find Crystal. We need to have a talk." Mia said quietly and Star nodded, disappearing quickly.

"You were looking for me?" Crystal always looked like she was stepping out of a porno. And apparently that worked for her, because she spent a good deal of time blowing Happy.

"Lets talk outside." Mia said quietly and Crystal rolled her eyes.

"I'm kinda busy, in case you hadn't noticed Happys all alone and needing some company." The brunette said pointedly and Mia nodded.

"Lets go."

They snuck out the side and Crystal lit up a cigarette while Mia took a seat on the picnic bench.

"You're gunna have to back off Happy for awhile darlin'." Mia said levelling with the girl. She had to look after her girls, and she had first hand experience with Asher. She didn't want one of her girls to end up with a nose job because they weren't warned.

"You making a play for him again?" Crystal asked, pushing her tits up even closer to her chin then they already were.

"Sweetheart, I am the least of your worries. If you push up on that you're gunna get hurt." Clearly Crystal had missed the little demonstration earlier.

"I'm not scared of some bitch." Crystal sneered and Mia grabbed at Crystals hair, pulling her closer so she could see the caked makeup on her cheek.

"If you get involved you will get kicked out. The club will not stand for one of us causing trouble." Mia pulled her even closer and sneered in her ear. "Do yourself a favour Crystal, find someone else." Then she pushed the girl back, watching her teeter on her heels before Crystal huffed and strode back into the clubhouse.

"Guess I owe you one." A voice came from the corner of the building and Mia whipped her head around as Asher Hayden stepped into the dim light. "Didn't mean to overhear."

"Hey." Mia said awkwardly. She was a few years older than the woman in front of her, but she felt like it was the other way around. Asher gave her a small smile and sat up on the picnic bench, crossing one of her long legs over the other. "You want me to leave?"

"Nah," Asher shook her head, "stay."

"You're not going to punch me in the face are you?" Mia asked, wondering if she was crossing a line as soon as she said it.

"My girl fight days are few and far between these days." Mia took that as her cue and went to sit beside her on the bench. "Nose job looks good."

"Well Bella and I are on better terms these days."

"Wish I could say the same." Asher replied and Mia chuckled.

"Are you kidding, Bella adores you. She just knows that if you come back she's gonna be in tough competition for Queen bitch." Asher seemed to turn her head away to hide her smile.

"I don't want any of that."

"That's rare." Mia admitted. She wouldn't be caught dead talking to any of the other girls about this. But she knew, despite their history, Asher was trustworthy. She knew Lorca and Happy well enough to know that if they trusted Asher, then she was the real deal. "Most of these girls and the old ladies just want the reputation." Asher turned back to her. "You actually give a shit about Happy. And he gives a whole lotta shit about you."

"I feel kinda bad about smacking you down now." Asher said and Mia gave her another smile. If they weren't on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, they could have been friends.

"I kinda deserved it. Believe me, it won't happen again." Asher nodded and Mia saw her nod to someone through the glass window at the side.

"You know, if you got rid of all the tan and the fakeness, you'd be really pretty." She slid off the bench and Mia watched in interest as the girl turned to face her. "Thanks for what you did."

"Just…don't leave any permanent scars." Asher made a cross over her chest with her finger and left, Mia watching her go.

* * *

><p>Diana watched Bella say something to Asher Hayden before sauntering off. She couldn't believe the old lady had threatened her in front of everyone. Especially Asher Hayden. She knew the moment that the blonde had walked into the clubhouse that the bitch was going to cause trouble. And fancy the nerve on her, chatting back to them. They were old ladies. They deserved respect in this clubhouse.<p>

"Hey." She felt a hand wrap around her wrist and was pulled away by her Old Man. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Bowie hissed as they stood back from the main crowd and Diana looked up at her old man in shock. She thought he'd be proud. She'd shown she was tough. Isn't that what they all wanted?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you confronting fuckin' Asher Hayden in front of the whole damn club." He hissed and Dianna rolled her eyes, but a sharp jerk on her arm stopped the movement. "This isn't fuckin' funny."

"She's practically a sweetbutt."

"You have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout Di." He sighed and ran a hand through his stringy long hair. "You want me to get Hap over here and explain this shit to you?" He asked and Diana froze. She could see the tattooed monster they called the Tacoma Killer leaning against the bar, talking to Kozik and it sent shivers down her spine. The guy crept her out. There was something scary about him.

"No."

"Believe me when I say talkin' smack about Asher will get you in more trouble then you want to be in, hun." Diana nodded. Her man had never threatened her. He was always on her side, but it seemed like this was a sore spot. "Got it?"

"Yes."

"Right, now go tell that to your Posse." She tried not to pout but she knew she was when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Use that clever head of yours darling."

* * *

><p>Happy was fighting every instinctual bone in his body that was telling him to defend Asher. Bowie's old Lady had overstepped her bounds and everyone knew it. And it wasn't just because Asher was <em>his <em>girl. It was because Asher was SOA. She'd proven her worth a hundred times over, saving Taylors life and looking after Sarah and helping him out. Not to mention blood. Lots of blood.

"Can I get you a drink Happy?" Crystal, the little brunette with a mouth like a fuckin' hoover sidled up to him at the bar and Happy chuckled, pushing her away.

"I'm right, doll."

"Come on Hap." Fake finger nails dragged across his cut. It had been awhile since he'd indulged in a sweetbutt but she was a new regular having only been around the club for a year.

"Said no, bitch." He growled, pushing her away. Had it been any other time he probably would have gotten off on Asher watching the girl hit on him and bringing out that jealous streak he knew she had. But he was this close to getting her home, he wasn't gunna fuck it up now. Especially over a fucking blow job.

The brunette pouted. Fuck he hated bitches that pouted. Asher never pouted, not seriously. But this bitch pushed out her bottom lip and gave her best impression of a kicked puppy.

Turning away he saw Asher through the window out in the lot. He nodded to her and saw her smile slightly before turning around and heading towards the door. A minute later she emerged in the clubhouse and Happy smirked. He saw his brothers eyes follow her through the building towards him. The little brunette said something, but he ignored her, putting his beer down and walking over to Asher.

Her blue eyes flickered up at him, lined with black just like he fucking loved them. She put her hand on his stomach, under his cut and bit her lip as she waited for him to speak. Instead he just put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side and towards the hall.

He didn't care if they had an audience as he slammed her up against the wall in the hallway. Fuck he'd missed her in the last two weeks. His lips found hers and she groaned into his mouth, making him press his hips into hers. He was so hard, he was going to take her there up against the wall.

"Fuck."

"Come on." Asher slipped out from under him and pulled him by his cut towards the stairs. Happy let her lead the way, his hands firmly on her hips.

Once in his room, Asher pushed him towards the bed and Happy, despite wanting to be in charge, let her. She went and shut the door before walking over and standing between his knees, leaning down and kissing him, her sweet tongue sweeping his mouth. His hands went back to her hips, pushing the dress up, but she batted him away, getting down on her knees and pushing off her leather jacket. He knew it had been brought on by seeing Crystal all over him, but he wasn't going to object. Especially when she easily flicked open his belt buckle and undid his jeans before sliding her hand up to his stomach and glancing up at him.

"Lay down." He did as he was told and lay back on the bed, waiting for her to take him in. And his girl never disappointed, her full lips engulfing him and he let out a loud groan.

"Shit, Ash." He felt her lips move into a smile before she began to suck and any thoughts of the brunette were pushed from his mind as he reached down and fisted his hands in her hair.


	48. Chapter 48

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

Thank you all so much for your reviews! I really appreciate the constant reviews I'm getting with frequent updates so being selfish- heres another one! Chapter title song by the lovely Lana Del Rey who without her knowledge has provided the soundtrack for this story (don't tell her...). Hope you enjoy.

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Eight – Diet Mountain Dew<strong>

_Diet mountain dew baby  
>New York city<br>Never was there ever a girl so pretty  
>Do you think we'll be in love forever<br>Your no good for me  
>But baby I want you<br>__**-Lana Del Rey**_

**Tacoma WA **

**14****th**** March 2008 **

Asher sat back on her heels and wiped her mouth with as much dignity as she could. Happy pushed himself up and Asher looked up at him with a small smile. She didn't want to admit to him that it was all for show, that she needed him to know that no one could blow him like she could.

"Get up here." He wrapped his fingers through her hair and pulled her on top of him, sitting up so she was straddling his lap. "Tryin' to prove something baby girl?"

"Can't I just show you some appreciation?" This earned her a chuckle and she was pretty sure he knew what her motive was but she was more interested in his lips that were level with hers. Without a reply she leant down and closed her mouth over his, rolling her hips into his lap. Her hands cupped his face, her thumbs running over the stubble on his cheeks. He lifted them up off the bed and spun around, dropping Asher onto the bed.

"I'm gunna show you appreciation, girl." He pulled her boots off one by one and pushed her dress up, his lips and tongue tracing the ink on her side as he went up. Asher raised her arms so he could pull it off and toss it to the other side of the room. She felt his teeth graze the sensitive skin on her neck before he started going down again, taking her bra with him and when she felt his fingers on her hips she lifted her head.

"Don't you dare." She laughed when she saw him gently tug on the sides of her panties. He gave a mischievous grin. When had they started having fun in bed instead of it being heated and fast? She liked this side of things. He could be fun when he wanted to be. "Don't rip them Hap." She begged and felt him gently slide them down her legs and fling them away.

She lay under him completely naked and at his mercy as he shucked off his cut and pulled his shirt over his head. God he was magnificent. Colourful and taut as he crawled back up her body. His tongue invaded her mouth again and she arched up into his hand as he ran the calloused skin over her nipple making her shiver. The things this man could do to her, even after all these years.

"Yo! Happy, Clays looking for ya'!" Asher sighed and rolled her head to the side, breaking the lip lock.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ." She sighed as Happy pushed himself up.

"Gimme five minutes!" he shouted back and they both heard a muffled 'okay' through the door.

"Skipping foreplay?" Asher asked, when she had his attention again. She had been hoping they could at least get an hour together. Oh well there was always later.

"Get used to it darlin'." He growled and Asher laughed, wrapping her legs around his waist, knowing that the lack of foreplay was not going to bother either of them right now.

"Don't get any ideas." She teased before she was pulling him back down to her lips. "Get on with it then."

"Don't get cocky, hooker." He growled pulling away and sinking his teeth into her neck.

"Hurry up and fuck me, _killer."_ Asher gasped and he obliged, sliding into her his hands bracing himself over her, his hips moving under her legs. Throwing her head back Asher let him thrust into her over and over again, just enjoying the way his body moved with hers. His mouth was on hers again, his tongue invading her mouth and muffling his sounds of pleasure. He came hard, growling into her mouth and Asher realised he probably hadn't fucked anyone in the two weeks since she'd seen him. Looked like the killer was going soft.

Pulling out he looked down at her lying underneath him.

"I'll make it up to ya'." He promised and Asher nodded.

"I know." And she did know. Happy prided himself on making her come a million times before he did. She could give him this. "Go sort out whatever."

"Stay here the night." He ordered and Asher nodded.

"Sure." Climbing off the bed, they both got dressed before heading towards the door. Before Asher could pull it open though, he pulled her back into him and pressed a hungry kiss to her lips before pushing her out the door.

* * *

><p>Clay Morrow watched his niece and club assassin, walk out of the hallway. He didn't need a big imagination to know what they'd been doing. He didn't know what it was about that little blonde bitch that had his killer so twisted up. But he was pretty sure it had something to do with her manipulative nature. There was no way she was here for him. There had to be something more to it. Unfortunately for Clay, Asher had been bred with the worst parts of the Haydens and the Morrows which mean that stubborn Hayden gene was running through her blood, which meant he wasn't going to get any answers anytime soon.<p>

Little bitch knew more than she should. The last thing he wanted was for her to get involved with a Son. Like her mother she had a crippling effect on club men, made them start thinking, start feeling shit. And that was not good for born killers like Happy. He needed Happy on edge, ready to go at a moments notice and without a conscience.

"I gotta talk to Hap." He said looking over at Tig and Half Sack. "Get Chibs to go and push up on that, I wanna make sure she's all about the killer." He said to the Prospect who bounded away.

"Chibs really?" Tig asked and Clay rose his eyebrows at his SAA.

"You wanna go at that?" Clay asked knowing that plenty of men wanted a go at Asher.

"Yeah," Tig cringed, "but I ain't up for having my head ripped off when Hap sees."

"Just makin' sure she's all about the man." Clay muttered before Happy reached them. "And no hidden agenda's."

"How's Opie?" Happy asked, crossing his arms across his chest when he reached the two of them.

"Sorting his head out on the road. How's things now you're back home?" Clay asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Not here for long, I'll be back in Cali before the end of the week. Let me know when you want me up there." Happy replied.

"Good to hear brother, can't be hangin' 'round this shithole for too long." Clay said loudly as Lorca approached.

"Watch your mouth, brother. You're on our turf now."

* * *

><p>Asher saw her Uncle from across the room, talking to a familiar looking black haired man as Happy approached them.<p>

"How ya' doin' darlin'?" The sound of the Scotsman interrupted her focus and Asher turned around to see Chibs standing behind her.

"Fine." She gave him a fake smile, forcing herself to be polite.

"Want a drink?" He held up a beer and Asher shook her head. "Come on darlin', loosen up a little."

"I'm gunna…" Asher gestured towards the hallway, but the Scotsman stopped her. "Why do I get the feeling this has something to do with Clay?"

"Come on Darlin'." He sighed and she turned around and walked away. She didn't need to prove her feelings for Happy. She'd done enough. Striding over to the bar she found the seventeen year old brunette rummaging around underneath it.

"Sup Mama bear?" Sarah asked when she spotted her and Asher smiled. She loved the kid like her own.

"Heading to bed Sare. You staying with your parents?"

"Yeah I just got back from dinner, we're heading home now. How much drama did you cause?" Asher was kind of glad that Sarah had missed all the events of the night.

"None."

"Liar." Sarah replied and Asher shrugged.

"I'm going to bed, I'll talk to you tomorrow." She kissed Sarahs cheek over the bar then headed to the lot to grab her duffle from the Camaro before sneaking through the back and up the stairs to Happys room trying not to think about how much she despised her uncle. All the years and all the secrets and he was still trying to put a wedge between her and Happy.

Rummaging through her bag she pulled out some clean underwear and her toiletries she went to shower in Happys bathroom, glad that he had his own because she was so sick of Sons right now. Once she was clean and dry, she pulled on her underwear and one of Happys white wifebeaters, swallowed two antibiotic tablets before crawling into the rumpled bed, pulling the covers over her shoulders and closing her eyes. The last memory was of the digital clock beside the bed that read 11:10pm

* * *

><p>The red numbers read 4:32 am when she opened her eyes next. The bed dipped and she rolled over to see the reaper on Happys back glowing in the dark on his side of the bed as he leant over and took off his boots. As her eyes adjusted she could see him stay hunched over, rubbing the back of his neck, a sure sign of frustration.<p>

"You alright?" She asked quietly and saw him turn to look at her over his shoulder as she propped herself up on her elbow.

"Yeah."

"Okay." She lay back down and heard a loud sigh as she watched him stand up and take off all his clothes, sending a warm rush through her body at the sight of his physique in the dark. It was amazing that he still had that effect on her. Once in the bed Happy pulled her into his side, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and she lay her head on his chest.

"Not long now."

"Yeah?" He growled and she nodded.

"Transfer is underway, I'll be back in Sacramento in a few months." She expected a smile or something. What she didn't expect was to land face first into mattress. "the fuck?" She muttered, pushing herself up and seeing Happy looking down at her from where he was sitting, lighting a cigarette in the dark.

"I didn't tell ya the whole truth." he growled and Asher pushed herself up so she was sitting across from him. "Ma needed the help, so I went Nomad, runs and jobs get me a bit more cash for her meds."

"I can help out with that."

"Yeah I know." The tone of his voice told her that wasn't what the lie was about. "Clay wants me to transfer to SAMCRO before the end of the year."

"What about your mum?"

"I dunno, I'll work shit out I guess. Go on a few runs a month, see ma when I can." He ran a hand over his head and Asher realised he hadn't put much thought into this side of things. If he was on runs a few times a month and still doing jobs, especially for Charming, she would hardly see him anyway. They were back to the original problem.

The Club would be pulling him away from her.

"I feel like Brandy in a Looking Glass song." She said quietly and could see his brow furrow in the dark.

"What?"

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be, you get that right? I'm here because I want to be with you. That's why I went through all this shit with only seeing you sometimes and not asking questions." She pulled her knee up under her chin. "You love the road, you love being on the back of a Harley and the freedom it gives you. And you love the club."

"You gunna spit that shit out or what?" he asked grumpily and Asher smiled slightly even though her heart was breaking.

"I've either got to stay in Sacramento and deal or move to Charming." She saw him rub the back of his neck. He knew she was right, she could tell by the silence as he continued to smoke his cigarette. "What do you want me to do?"

"I ain't your keeper." She laughed, grabbing his hand and pressing a kiss to the palm of it.

"Yeah you are."

"Yeah." He stubbed his cigarette out. "We'll go for a ride or somethin' tomorrow, talk about it." Asher nodded, smiling. She liked the sound of that. Lifting the sheets up again she lay down, her back to him. He followed suit, sliding his arm under her head and bending his arm so she was in the crook of his elbow as he lay on his back.

"Night Hap."

"Yeah, night."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**15****th**** March 2008 **

"Woah." Asher gasped as she fell onto her back and stared at the ceiling of the bedroom. A throaty chuckle beside her made her turn her head. "You should go pro in that." His sheets were resting on his hips, his tattoos on full display as he lay there and she couldn't think of anything sexier. The cool air was drying the sweat on their skin as they caught their breaths.

"Made up for last night?" he asked and Asher chuckled. Yeah only like four times over.

"I think you're in the clear." She smiled as he closed his eyes and she knew he was heading towards sleep. Turning her head she saw it was already nine am. There was no way she was sleeping now. Crawling out of the bed she heard him say her name.

"Where you goin?"

"Gunna get some coffee. Let you sleep." He rolled over onto his stomach and nodded into the pillow.

"Watch that red head bitch." He growled and Asher smirked.

"Aye aye." She laughed before heading towards the shower. Twenty minutes later she was standing in front of the coffee machine, watching the brown liquid drip into the glass jug.

"Morning." Praying that it wasn't another old lady, Asher turned around slowly to see a familiar blonde standing in the doorway. She looked rough, still in last nights clothes and her makeup smudged and no shoes.

"Hey." Asher replied, looking back at the coffee machine. "You want some?"

"No thanks, I'm anti-caffeine. Vegetarian too, if that makes you hate me any more." She said quietly and Asher turned around, lifting a mug with the Tacoma Auto logo on in up to her lips.

"Sarah's vegetarian." She took a sip of the hot li quid. "One of the boys took her hunting last year over the border, kinda scarred her."

"Guess she won't be following in her foster mothers footsteps." Mia said coming in to sit down at the decrepit old table in the corner of the kitchen. Asher took a seat as well, spinning the mug on the table as she took in Mia's appearance.

"Sarahs a bit more talented than me, she could be anything she wants." Mia smiled at that.

"I remember her as a kid and she was always drawing on everything." The sweetbutt got up and walked over to the fridge and rifled through it, coming back with a carton of juice and a glass. Asher watched as she poured the orange liquid into the grimy glass.

Before she could use her brain-mouth filter, Asher blurted out the question that had been on her mind for awhile now.

"Why have you stuck around so long?" Mia's head shot up and she rose both her eyebrows. "I mean, it's not like any of these boys are going to take an old lady, so why do you put up with it?" She saw the womans lip jerk.

"Why do you?"

"Because I can't take a hint." Asher replied and took another sip of her coffee. "As much as I hate it, I have more ties in this club than I like to admit. Hap and Sarah are only two of them." She shrugged, having to force the image of her uncle out of her head. "What's your excuse?"

"I can accept that I'm a slut. I know what I do, and I do it because at the end of the day, I've got a roof over my head and some kind of family. I'm not going to walk away from that when I don't really have any professional qualifications." Mia lit up a cigarette and Asher had to give it to her. She clearly had it all worked out. Asher had a job and a kid and some sort or relationship and she still wasn't sure what she was going to do with the rest of her life. Glancing down at the cheap watch on her wrist, Mia stood up and put the glass in the sink, squashing her cigarette out in the sink. "Anyway I gotta go. See you later." Then she was gone and Asher wasn't sure whether she'd made a friend or not.

There was still no-one around when Asher had finished her coffee so she wandered down the hall and pushed open the door to the old piano room. She had to smile at the thin layer of dust that was spread over the lid, a lighter layer in the marks where someone had run their fingers along the old wooden hood.

Taking a deep breath she sat down and cracked the lid. It had been a long time since she'd played, she'd avoided touching an instrument. Including the old acoustic guitar that was propped up beside her bed in Seattle. She missed playing. Her fingers gently pressed the keys, smiling at the sweet sound they made.

_If I could tell the world just one thing  
>It would be that we're all okay<br>And not to worry because worry is wasteful_

She was so distracted she didn't realise anyone had entered until his familiar smell filled her nostrils and she saw him from the corner of her eye making her smile.

_And useless in times like these  
>I won't be made useless<br>I won't be idle with despair  
>I'll gather myself around my faith<br>And light the darkness does fear_

He was sitting close by on the large stool and she kept on smiling as she continued to play, him being one of the only people she was really comfortable giving solo shows to.

_My hands are small I know  
>But they're not yours<br>They are my own  
>They're not yours<br>they are my own  
>And I am never broken<br>_

When she finished she looked over her shoulder and waited for him to say something.

"Nursings lost on you baby." She looked up into his green eyes and leaned into him.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she asked quietly. "I'm so mean to you."

"Can't help who you love darlin'." She wrapped her hand around his bicep and squeezed.

"Yeah." If she'd known, she would have stayed there like that forever. She never would have let Happy interupt and drag her out to the bike in the lot. If she'd known, she would have done a lot of things differently.

* * *

><p>The song is "My Hands" by Jewel.<p>

A/N: sorry about the last few sentences- I couldn't help myself. Maybe if you're kind I will update frequently and give you all the answers you want! REVIEW...please.


	49. Chapter 49

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! A few of you worked out my intentions...but I'm not going to give anything away. Sorry but all your questions won't be answered in this one...but in the next one. Enjoy

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Nine – Brandy <strong>

_Brandy used to watch his eyes  
>As he told his sailor story<br>He always told the truth  
>He was an honest man<br>And Brandy tries her best to understand  
>The sailors say brandy, you're a fine girl<br>What a good wife you would be  
>But my life my love and my lady is the sea<br>Your eyes could steal a man from the sea_

_**-Looking Glass**_

**Tacoma WA**

Asher lifted her leg and swung onto the back of the Harley Dyna after strapping the helmet that Happy had handed her on. She'd been on a bike plenty of times with Spanner and Happy and could balance herself without having to hold onto the man in front of her, but Happy grabbed her arms and pulled her down to wrap them around his waist. Instead of protesting, Asher just smiled and rested her cheek on the back of his cut and let him take her anywhere he wanted.

When they pulled up she lifted her head and saw they were at the old skate park she'd hung out as a teenager. Turned out a lot had changed in ten years. It was rundown, there was cracks in the cement pipes and there was graffiti everywhere. Climbing off the bike she didn't wait for Happy as she walked over to the half pipe and stood in the middle of it, looking up both sides before kicking a can from the ground with the toe of her boot.

"It's all gone." She said quietly.

"Yeah." Glancing up Asher looked at his serious face.

"What?" She asked, smiling at how serious he looked as he dug his hands into his jean pockets. "Why so serious?" She knew it was a stupid jab, because Happy was always serious but this seriousness had all her instincts screaming at her.

"I don't like breakin' a promise, specially to you."

"I know that." She smirked remembering a few hours ago.

"Sacramento's not goin' to work for us." She should have seen that one coming. Turning her back on him she walked over and sat down in the half pipe, stretching her legs out in front of him and waiting for him to come and sit beside her, which he did, lighting a cigarette as he went.

"And there it is." He was silent, slowly inhaling and exhaling as Asher decided to focus her attention on the ink on his arms. "Okay, I'll come to Charming."

"Clays not gunna like that, Asher."

"I don't give a shit what Clay wants. This has nothing to do with the club- it's about you and me and ending this fucking merry-go-round we've been on for the last ten years." He remained quiet and Asher knew that the club was still winning out. "I thought this was what you wanted?" He took a long drag of his cigarette and propped his knee up to rest his arm on it.

"Is it what you want?" He asked after a minute of silence and Asher furrowed her brow.

"Huh?"

"You, me, that really what you want? I seen the way Spanner looks at ya…" Oh so now Happy was the insecure one.

Was that the reason he'd dragged her away from Pete about ten minutes ago?

"Pete's my best friend." She was kind of hurt by the accusation. She loved Pete and maybe if things had been different she might have ended up with him, but the minute that Happy had become more than a Son to her, there had been no turning back. "Fuck…" She took a deep breath, it hadn't even been twenty-four hours and he was wanting out. "You've got three months before the transfer goes through. Make up your mind because I'm sick of fighting with you on this. I'm willing to go wherever you want me to go, the least you can do is be sure you want this before I start giving up everything." A few years ago she would have gotten up and walked away, but she just sat there and watched as he contemplated this. "Come on, pretty sure you owe me breakfast." She said after a minute or two and stood up, looking down at him.

The Tacoma killer, unsure about what was going to happen next.

He stood up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and Asher leant in to him. The least she could was make the most of the time they did have together.

"You're getting cocky, hooker."

* * *

><p>Asher was well aware that the little bubble of happiness that was surrounding them, was about to burst, but she didn't care. Sitting in the old diner from years ago, across from him as they both ate quietly before he was dragging her back to the Harley and into the clubhouse where he slammed his bedroom door shut behind him, throwing her on the bed, a devilish smirk on his face as they both pulled off their clothes. It wasn't going to last, it never did. When she was in Seattle, the end of the weekend signalled him leaving and this time it signalled her leaving Tacoma. It would be the last time she'd probably be in this bed with him. The next few months would determine whether she ended up in Charming or Sacramento, or she stayed in Seattle alone.<p>

Lying in the bed she watched him dress to go and help his brothers out on a job, no doubt ordered by Clay Morrow who Asher had managed to avoid as much as possible since she'd gotten there.

"I'll be back in a few hours. Stay-" She rolled her eyes and cut him off.

"At the clubhouse, outta trouble, away from sweetbutts or croweaters. I get it, you wanna tie me to the bed and make it official?" She swore he smirked, before tugging the blanket away from her chest.

"Smart ass bitch." He growled before leaving.

Another shower, three antibiotics and a change of clothes later, Asher walked downstairs again. This time there were sweetbutts everywhere, like every Saturday night and there were hang arounds leaning over the bar, making the most of the women, before the actual Sons got back.

"Thought you'd gone." Turning slowly on the heel of her boots, Asher looked up at her Uncle standing behind her. "How you doing Asher?"

"Fine thank-you Clarence." She replied, trying to be respectful, but failing miserably. In the past, the stuff that she knew about Clay didn't seem that important, but now she had friends, family that were involved with the Sons of Anarchy. And in their eyes, the stuff her own uncle had done was despicable.

"You avoiding me girl?"

"Would you rather I didn't?"

"Hey," He pointed a ringed finger at her and Asher leant back, away from the threatening finger, "you are in my clubhouse now." Asher bit her tongue and nodded quietly. "You don't realise what you're doing do you?" he growled and Asher rose her eyebrow but didn't say anything. "You're putting this club in danger. You're putting my best asset in danger." She knew this was about Happy, but she also knew this was about Clay swinging his weight around, just like the move last night. He could say one word to Happy and she would be out on her ass, because it had happened before. They still hadn't really gotten past that thanksgiving. "Look we can do this the hard way, or the easy way. You leave, don't come back or…" He paused for dramatic effect and Asher felt her heart rate pick up just like it always did when the prospect of leaving Happy was looming over her, "well," he cocked his head and Asher narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you threatening me?" Frankly it was a bit clichéd that Clay was threatening her.

"I don't threaten family." He almost chuckled and Asher felt her throat go dry. "But lets just say, I would go to great lengths to keep this families secrets, even if it means sending a brother to jail for murder."

"I don't know what you're-"

"Cameron McEvoy." Clay said pointedly and Asher almost gagged. "Guess they never found his killer." He put a large ringed hand on Ashers shoulder but her parched mouth and the rapid beating of her heart wouldn't let her stand up for herself. "I'd say see you in the mornin' darlin', but my feeling is you ain't staying."

He stepped past her and Asher was left standing there staring at the doorway where he'd just stood. Cameron McEvoy. His name was on repeat in her mind. She remembered sitting in an interrogation room in the Sacramento police station, Camerons mother screaming at her that she was a murderer. That she could handle but if Happy went away again…and she knew Sarah wouldn't handle it either.

A serious dint had been put in her mood and she headed back to Happys room, pulling off her boots and scrambled onto the bed. She wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, but she reined it in and lay down on her back, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as she tried to sort out what she was going to do.

* * *

><p>"Hey, a word?" Happy asked Spanner as he walked past and the younger man stopped, nodding.<p>

"Yeah." They both walked over and sat on the picnic table at the side of the clubhouse. Happy searched through his cut for his cigarettes and pulled one from the packet before lighting it up. "This about Ash?" Spanner asked as he took a seat and Happy kept his sunglasses on his face to avoid showing any emotion.

"Dunno, I dunno what it's about anymore." he replied. Usually he had this talk with Blue, but even Blue had his limitations. Spanner was the only person besides maybe Sarah that knew Asher well enough to predict what she was thinking. Even then though it was just a guess. "Asked 'er to come to Cali with me." Spanner didn't say anything and Happy guessed this wasn't the first time he'd heard this bit of information. "Look, I dunno…" he ran a hand over his head. He knew what he wanted, he wanted Asher with him. But he remembered the promise she'd made him years ago about not letting a Son control her, make her decisions for her. She'd let him do it enough as it was.

"Look man, you know Asher, you know no one makes her do anything she doesn't want to." Spanner rubbed his palms on his jeans and Happy took another drag of his cigarette. "Except maybe Clay." Yeah well, Happy knew that much. Clay did that to everyone. "But we all do shit for our family, whether we like them or not. And Asher she takes family seriously, you've seen the way she is with Sarah, and you know the moment that she becomes your Old Lady there ain't no turning back." That was what he was scared of. That the moment Asher became permanent…or more permanent that she'd be so loyal to him she'd lose the best parts of herself. "Sometimes, you gotta just let it go man, stop thinkin' so hard 'bout everythin'. Instinct man, it's what we use to survive." Happy rose his eyebrows at the younger man. He could see why him and Asher were friends. "Anyways I gotta fly, seein' you're all whipped I'm gunna go and find me that little Crystal and get me some lovin'." Happy didn't need to tell Spanner he was grateful for the advice. "Later."

The club was packed when Happy finally strode in. It was only early, but everyone was making the most of Charmings last night in Tacoma. He ignored it though, walking out and up the stairs to his room, wondering if Asher had left at all. If it wasn't for the fact that she was dressed he wouldn't have thought so. But she was, and she was stretched out on the unmade bed. Asleep.

He had to smirk, looked like the day had had it's toll on her. He was going to leave her, maybe think some more about what he was going to say to her. Maybe have something to drink. But she had heard him, and sat up on her elbows, smiling sleepily.

"Hey." She croaked and he smirked. Fuck she was pretty.

"Hey baby girl." Spanners words played in his mind and before he could stop himself, he kicked off his boots and pulled off his cut, crawling onto his bed and pulled her into his side, letting her wrap her arm around his stomach. He didn't want sex, he just wanted her.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah," he took a deep breath, "I want you to come to Charming." She didn't say anything and he hoped that was the answer he wanted. That it meant she was there for good.

* * *

><p>He could feel the sun pouring through the window of the small room and warming his skin as he lay on his stomach. Shifting his legs he buried his head deeper into the pillow, bringing his arm around in front of him to hold the pillow to his face. It was too early. Way too early and all he wanted to do was sleep until later before he'd make sure he made the most of the warm body lying next to him. At the thought he swung his arm out in search of said body only to hit the slightly warm spot on his mattress. Pushing himself up he turned his head to look at the empty side of the bed before turning his head to look at the digital clock next to the bed. As soon as he saw the numbers saying it was eight am he jumped out of the bed, alarms going off in his head as he reefed on his jeans and hauled the door open, striding down the hall.<p>

"Mornin'." Bowie looked up from his newspaper as he came striding out of the hallway, shirtless and angry.

"You seen her?" He asked and Bowie rose his eyebrows briefly before jerking his thumb over his shoulder towards the club door. Trying not to look desperate, or scared, he strode over to the door and hauled it open as the shiny red Camaro pulled out of the lot and into the street. _Fuck_**. **

Not giving a shit about masking his anger he punched the door before striding back into the clubhouse and down to his room, ignoring the pain in his throbbing hand as he tugged a t-shirt over his head and pulled on his gun holster, haphazardly placing the guns in the pouches before swinging his cut over his shoulders. His boots were pulled on as he hopped out of the room and down the hall, not really giving a shit about the people still sleeping in their rooms. He had bigger things on his mind. Like the red Camaro heading out of town.

"What're you doin'?" Bowie asked when he saw his Brother coming out of the hall.

"What's it fucking look like I'm doing?" He snapped as he strode towards the door. He heard a loud sigh come from Bowie who climbed off his barstool and followed him out of the clubhouse. "What're you doin'?" He asked when he saw the VP following him out the door.

"Someones gotta have your back Brother." Bowie laughed slapping him on the back and climbing onto the back of his Harley. Without another word, they pulled out of the lot and rode down the street in the same direction as the Camaro. He ignored Bowie as he rode and pictured the scene that he was sure was about to unfold. He wasn't sure whether he was going to wring the bitch's neck or beg her to stay. His bike shot forward at his grip on the throttle. Wringing her neck seemed like a fucking good plan.

They gained on the Camaro easily as it was heading out of town and onto the highway. Without another thought, knowing he had to act now or the bitch would be out of town limits and was susceptible to anything. Nodding his head to Bowie he pulled out from behind the Camaro and shot around in front of the car, noticing the slight swerve of the car at the fright that had occurred on the driver. Slowing down enough to get across the point that he was in control now, without having to pull his gun as tempted as he was. The car immediately slowed down behind him and he kept in front of it until he saw a side road where they could pull off the highway.

Jerking his hand in the direction of the side road, he saw the indicator come on on the car and he swerved from the road and onto the dirt track and killed the engine, taking a second to compose himself, not lose his cool. Not let onto her how much waking up in that bed alone had seriously pissed him off.

Swinging off the bike he unclipped his helmet and stuck it on the handlebars before turning to the car where the drivers side door was being pushed open. Any other bitch would have stayed in the car and waited for her orders. Not her. She'd pulled off the road, that was as far as letting him have control as she would allow and he knew it.

He watched her glance over at Bowie who stayed on the bike behind the car and sat quietly while they sorted this shit out. She finally turned her attention to him, her anger not hidden, not cool and calm like he was trying to be.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, crossing her arms across her chest and fixing her stare on him.

"Could ask you the same." He replied striding over to her, standing toe to toe and looking down at her.

"I'm going home what the fuck does it look like?" She hissed back quietly and he was thankful that she was considerate of his reputation and that he didn't need some bitch talking down to him in front of his Brother. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You're going in the wrong direction." He replied lowly and slammed the drivers side door behind her making her jump before he had her pressed up against the side of the car, his body bearing down on her, trying to ignore the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest or the press of her hips on his groin. "What the fuck are you playin' at girl?" she sighed, her anger wavering and he knew she'd picked up on the way his tone was slightly softer.

"I'm sorry." She replied quietly, lowering her gaze so she couldn't see the emotion that was tearing at his face, knowing he would hate her pointing it out.

"You're skipping town?" He growled out, thumping the heel of his hand on the top of the top of the car.

"I'm not skipping town, I'm going home. Where I belong …" Her eyes flicked back up to his face. He felt his fingers twitch. Itching to do something with them, like slapping her.

"Fucking bitch." He hissed and hit the top of the car again, but she didn't flinch. Just spread her legs slightly to strengthen her stance, the challenge in her eyes as her pelvis grazed his groin. "You need a fucking wake-up call."

"You going to be the one to hand it out to me?" She replied back, her eyebrow cocking and he felt the anger tear through his veins.

"I should." Her chin tilted in a silent _Do it._ His fingers twitched again tempted to wrap around her neck and shake some sense into her. "You leave now, don't you come back." His threat was pointless in his mind. He was here because he was scared she wasn't coming back, and threatening her was his way of feeling in control.

"I guess that means I'm not coming back at all." She said almost bitterly and he almost felt bad for kicking her out of town, until he remembered she was leaving. Fucking bitch was leaving, again. But there was a hint of sadness in her words and he felt the strange feeling rip through his chest.

"Fine." He pushed himself back off the car and glared down at her. "Then you're dead to me." He snapped, turning on his heel and heading towards the bike again.

"Hey." She called out and he froze, fighting the urge to turn around and go back to her. But he didn't need to turn for her to continue speaking. "Did you ever think that's not such a bad thing?" She said quietly and in seconds he had her up against the car again, his fingers wrapped around her slender neck, not hard, but enough to widen her eyes slightly.

"How about I just kill you then?" He hissed through his teeth, not missing his brother climbing from his bike and slowly walk over.

"Do it." She said quietly and he lowered his head slightly like he'd taken a slap to the face from her words.

"What?" He rasped.

"You want to kill me- do it." She said between gritted teeth, her eyes hardening again. "I know you want to, I can see it in your eyes." He hated the way she did that, read his mind. He did want to kill her- for being such a selfish bitch, for leaving him and fucking off back home. He gripped his hand tighter on her neck before shoving her and letting go, letting her fall heavily against the side of the car. She may have been a selfish bitch, but he would have to live with it. He would know she was gone. That didn't sit right.

"Go." He ordered, pointing down the road. "Get the fuck out of here and don't come back." He growled and she nodded in understanding.

"Okay." She said quietly and pulled the door open and climbing in as he watched. When her hand reached to pull the door shut he stopped it, looking down at her sitting in the plush leather seat, seeing the brunette teenager sitting in the passenger seat quietly.

_Shit_

"Drive slow, I find out your speeding I will kill you." He warned and she nodded.

"Okay," She went for the handle again but he jerked it out of her hand, the words on the tip of his tongue before he lifted his fingers and slammed the door, making her retract her hand quickly, watching him as he rubbed a hand over his head. The click of the engine turning over before the V8 engine came to life were the only sounds he heard before it pulled out of the side road and back onto the highway. When he turned back from watching the tail lights disappear down the road he saw Bowie watching him from his spot in front of the bike.

"Get the Prospect out here to follow her to Seattle, make sure the bitch doesn't turn around." He ordered and Bowie nodded, a look of understand on his face. This wasn't about keeping her out of Tacoma, it was about keeping her safe. Bowie pulled out his cell and quickly dialled, saying few words before hanging up and looking up at his Brother.

"You did the right thing."

_Yeah the right thing- getting the one good thing out of his life for good. Could have saved himself a shitload of trouble if he hadn't bedded her in the first place. _

"What did you do?" Sarahs voice was full of malice as Asher pulled back out onto the highway, her hands shaking as she gripped the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry, Sare." She didn't like apologising, especially for the three times in the space of an hour. "I had to."

"What? Is there something mentally wrong with you? Everytime you're on the verge of being happy you go and fuck it up." Sarah spat and Asher nodded. There probably was. But Clays threat was still too fresh. Sarah would get over it, at least he wasn't going to jail, where he couldn't protect either of them.

"This is for the best."

"He hates you, now you know." Sarah hissed and Asher nodded.

"Yeah I know." It hurt just like it had hurt to look Lorca in the eye not an hour ago and apologise.

_Forty-five minutes earlier_

"_Walk of shame?" Lorca was standing at the bar when Asher walked out, her duffle over one should and her cell in her other hand, having just called Sarah. _

"_Yeah, guess so." _

"_Where you goin' girl?" He asked, lifting his mug of coffee to his lips. "Remember that little talk we had awhile ago about you and my killer." He added, reinforcing the no lies portion of this conversation. _

"_I can't stay." _

"_He's expecting you in Cali with him." He added. "You bailing on him?" _

"_I'm doing what I have to do to protect him." _

"_By puttin' yourself in the line of fire?" he asked and Asher had an inkling that the Tacoma president knew more about why she was leaving than she thought. "Don't you get sick of lying to everyone?" _

"_I'm a liar, I always have been, you should know that by now." Asher answered. "What makes you think that I haven't done something wrong?" _

"_Because you don't make mistakes. That's how Happys gotten away with killin' all those people for you, because you don't make mistakes, you always cover your tracks and you've proven that you're willing to cover his too." Asher shrugged, trying not to let on how unnerving it was that he knew all this. "You walk out that door, he's never gunna let you back." _

"_I know." It was like Lorca had been testing how far she was willing to go for Happy. Hadn't she proven that she was willing to make her sacrifices to keep him safe. _

"_I'll do my best to manage the damage control." He said after a minute of silence and Asher nodded her thanks. "Club women let their men protect them." _

"_The club women need a fucking wake up call." Asher replied and saw Lorca smirk. _

"_Bella said the same thing. Drive safe baby girl." _

"_I will. I'm sorry." _

* * *

><p>AN: Oh god...don't hate me! If I get say at least 7 reviews I will update within the next 12-24 hours =D deal?


	50. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Shucks you guys! I said seven- last count there was 14! you sneaky devils. Anyways thank you all so much for the reviews! Because of the love guess what you're getting- an extra chapter! Feel the love people. Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews and I'm sorry for upsetting a lot of you, but I promise for real, it will get better ... soon, maybs not in this chapter! REVIEW this chapter...and the next =D

Oh...and p.s I am a technological retard but I have links on my profile to the pictures I envision of Asher and Sarah...feel free not to look (besides the fact that you have to copy and paste the link because I can't work a URL) because I know sometimes I have a vision of a character then the authors version is way off base. ANyways they're there if you wanted them.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty – Never Let Me Go <strong>

_Now I am under  
>And it's breaking over me<br>A thousand mile out to the sea  
>Found a place for me to lay my head<br>And the arms of the ocean  
>are carrying me<br>And all this devotion is rushing out of me  
>And it crushes the head<br>Of a sinner like me_

_And it's over  
>And I'm going under<br>I'm not giving up  
>I'm just giving in.<em>_**  
>-Florence + The Machine<strong>_

**Seattle WA**

_**25**_** April 2008  
><strong>

"Asher!" Sarah called as she stood in the bathroom looking into the bathroom cabinet. "Asher?" Rolling her eyes, Sarah turned back to the cabinet. It had been six weeks since they'd come back from the fateful trip to Tacoma. Asher had been weird. Well as weird as one could be after being threatened to death by the one person that was probably capable of following through.

Sarah wasn't stupid. Asher hadn't changed her mind because she didn't want to be with Happy any more. She had taken the break-up or whatever it was, really, really bad. She worked more than usual. When she was home she just slept, Grumpy curled up with her and Sarah knew that if Asher had been a Sinead O'Connor fan, "Nothing Compares to You" would have been blaring from the bedroom.

And because of this, there was no toothpaste.

Shifting some of the bottles around the cabinet she stopped when her hand fell on the opened packet of tampons. She was pretty sure they were the ones that belonged to Asher that Sarah had raided last month. Flipped the lid open she realised that none of them had been used. Asher and Sarah were synced from living together so long, very rarely did they have any variation. "Huh." Until now. Finding the packet of pills that Asher used, she counted the tablets missing .

"Holy shit." She walked out of the bathroom and looked at Ashers closed bedroom door. She had the day off today, so she'd be in there sleeping. Sarah cracked the door and whistled quietly, hearing the massive pitbull jump from the bed and come towards her. When he reached her he looked up expectantly, his big pink tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. "Come on Grumpy."

He followed her down the hall to the kitchen and Sarah fed him as she slid her phone open and searched her contacts before hitting send and wedging the phone between her ear and shoulder as she ordered the dog to sit and wait for the food.

"Yeah?"

"Please tell me Happys just as Sinead O'Connor as Asher is."

"Nah, haven't seen him. He's on special assignment in Charming." Kozik replied and Sarah sighed, dumping the can in the trash. "She bad?"

"I've never seen her like this, Koz." She said quietly and Kozik sighed.

"I'm gunna talk to Spanner, see if he can get up there, see you guys." Sarah smiled. Yeah, maybe Spanner could cheer her up.

"Thanks."

"Yeah yeah, get to school kid, stop worrying about her, she's a big girl."

* * *

><p><strong>25th April 2008<strong>

Asher sat up on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table when the teenager sauntered in pausing to look at Asher sceptically.

"Chinese?" Asher asked, gesturing to the plastic containers near her feet and Sarah nodded, leaning over and taking a pair of chopsticks and a carton. "How was school?" Asher asked, glancing over at the dark haired girl.

"Fine." Sarah replied, shovelling food into her mouth and chewing before sitting down on the armchair. Asher didn't miss the tone to her voice.

"What's up Sare?" She asked, flicking the tv off and sitting up to turn and face the teenager.

"Besides you being back in the land of the living?"

"I'm sorry, I just…" Sarah shrugged and Asher was thankful she didn't need an explanation.

"I got asked out by this guy today."

"A nice guy?" She asked remembering the try-hard biker she'd caught in Sarahs room years ago.

"A footballer." Asher smirked but bit her lip.

"Footballer?" She teased and Sarah turned a dark eyed glare towards her and Asher couldn't help but recognise how much she resembled herself at that age. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's popular and he's nice and he really can play football…but…" Asher realised it straight away.

"He's not a Son."

"Fucked isn't it?" She asked and Asher shrugged.

"With the way you grew up it would be weird if you didn't compare him to them." Sticking a strand of hair behind her ear Asher lifted her knee up under her chin and watched the teenager stab at her noodles. "Any particular biker influencing your choices baby?" Sarah was silent, still staring at her food. "Who?"

"It's Happy." Sarah spat out and Asher froze. Seeing the look of horror on her foster mothers face Sarah scrambled to explain. "Not like that Asher . You remember when I was attacked?"

"I remember."

"Happy carried me out and I remember thinking that I had never been in arms so strong, I felt like I was a million miles up in the air. I felt safe." Asher bit her lip, trying to fight the urge to tell the girl she was being stupid. Happy was mortal, he wasn't safe, he was dangerous. "And I remember the look on his face. I was so close I could see how tense he was and feel how tight his grip was and he had you pressed so hard to his side I thought he would break you."

"Baby," Asher cut in but Sarah held up a hand.

"It's hard not to compare every guy I meet with Happy when I was there when Happy proved how much he loved you." Sarah said quietly and Asher scoffed.

"Happy didn't love me sweetie. He was doing what he had to do for the club- that meant protecting you." She insisted and Sarah sighed, putting her food down and standing up. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gunna call him tell him I'm free Friday." Sarah said and Asher nodded, thankful that she was listening to her. Sarah picked up her book bag from the floor and rummaged through it before tossing a box at Asher. "Your three weeks late, you might wanna call Happy and tell him your pregnant." With that the teenager spun around and stalked towards her room and left Asher standing looking at the pregnancy test in her hands. Damn teenagers.

"I'm not pregnant." She called after the teenager but her eyes didn't leave the box. What if that niggling feeling she'd had for the last few weeks was right? What if she was pregnant? To Happy?

* * *

><p><strong>26th April 2008 <strong>

It wasn't until Sarah was at school the next day that Asher dared to open the test packet, the bathroom door shut and locked and the shower running. There was no question how this could have happened. When she'd gotten back to Seattle, she hadn't seen any point in being on the pill. Not to mention she'd been on antibiotics for the flu when her and Happy had been fucking like rabbits in Tacoma.

As she waited for the three minutes to be up she paced the tiny bathroom, begging for it to be negative. She couldn't have a baby, she couldn't afford another child and even with Sarah leaving in a few months, having a child didn't seem like an option. What kind of mother would she be? She had a drinking problem, she worked terrible hours and the father was a cold-blooded killer that would have no hesitation killing someone with his bare hands. That wasn't the kind of environment you brought a child into if you could help it.

But part of her wanted a child, one to call her own. Had it been anyone elses baby there would be no question about getting rid of it. But this would be Happys child. The man that she'd loved unconditionally for the last ten years. Part of her knew that having a child was the closest she would get to him for a long time.

Glancing down at her watch she saw her three minutes were up and she took a deep breath before glancing at the stick.

No matter how composed she tried to be or how certain she thought she was about what was coming, it didn't stop her legs giving way, sliding down the sink to the ground and the tears filled her eyes, and she couldn't help but begin to bawl.

The white stick with the two little blue lines in the screen held tightly in her hand.

* * *

><p>Asher was packing her bag when Sarah walked through the door and dropped her school bag on the ground. She heard the stomping of roper boots down the hall before she appeared in the door. She knew the teenager was taking in the scene in front of her and guessing what had happened. Sarah was smart like that.<p>

"I was right wasn't I?" Sarah asked quietly and Asher paused, nodding.

"Yeah."

"It Happys?"

"Yeah Sare. I went to the hospital and they confirmed it." She remained hunched over her bag and made a swipe at her face.

"Oh, Ash." Asher felt Sarahs long arms wrap around her and before she knew it she was crying into the teenagers shoulder. "What're you going to do?" She asked quietly and Asher swallowed a lump and composed herself. She couldn't fall apart. She had a job to do.

"Go and find Hap I guess."

"Are you going to keep it?" Sarah asked quietly and Asher shrugged. She knew she couldn't make this decision without Happy. She didn't want an abortion, but she wasn't going to raise a child by herself. She didn't want her child to have the same upbringing that she had.

"I have to talk to Hap." Sarah stood up and Asher felt her smooth her hand over her hair.

"Let me grab some of my stuff, I'll drive."

"Sarah…" Asher started, wanting to tell the teenager that she wasn't coming, but Sarah held up a hand.

"We're family, this baby is family. Even if Haps not there for you, I will be." Asher felt her heart swell with pride.

"You know you're like a daughter to me?" she choked and Sarah winked.

"I know mama."

* * *

><p>The drive to Tacoma was in silence and Asher rested her head against the cool glass of the car door window, trying to think how she was going to tell Happy. As they passed the sign in the dark Sarah turned to look at her.<p>

"You want me to come with you?"

"I'll drop you at your parents." Sarah nodded, and navigated her way into the streets easily. When they pulled up at the Stevensons, they both got out and Asher couldn't help but look up at the house next door. There was a light on in the window that had once been her room, a girl leaning out the window, smoking a cigarette. It was the first time all day she'd smiled . "Good luck." Sarah said, distracting Asher and they hugged before, Sarah was heading up the driveway towards the front door. Starting the car again, she took a deep breath and pulled out into the street, heading towards the SAMTAC clubhouse.

Asher could hear the commotion in the clubhouse when she walked through the heavy doors. Taking a deep breath she surveyed the crowd, begging her legs to keep going and not bail out. She'd told Sarah she was going to do this, so she was going to.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**26th April 2008 **

But all thoughts of Happys expression when she finally said the words, or the painful silence that would follow as he contemplated his answer disappeared. Any notion that he wouldn't even pause- he would tell her to get rid of it, was gone as soon as she saw why there was such a crowd in the clubhouse.

"Can anyone find fucking Daniels!" Bowie barked and Asher pushed through people that had gathered around the large table in the main room of the clubhouse.

"Oh my god!" She gasped when she saw Spanner stretched out on the table, Kozik standing over him, speaking to him as he struggled to breath as Lorca held gauze to her best friends shoulder. Years of experience had her instincts kicking in and she pushed people out of the way. "Get everyone out of here!"

"Asher?"

"_Now." _People scattered around her and Asher finally reached Spanners side. "Pete."

"Hey baby girl." Spanner rasped and she swept a hand over his head and took in his injury.

"I need a kit." Kozik nodded and disappeared. "What happened?"

"He got shot." Lorca answered. She didn't miss the clipped words or the clench of his jaw that were a sure sign he was worried.

"Clean?"

"No." Asher nodded, trying to remain professional and not panic.

"Hey…don't panic baby." Spanner rasped and Asher looked down Lorcas blood soaked hand holding the gauze to Spanners shoulder. Kozik appeared seconds later with a first aid kit in hand and Asher took it from him, snapping the powdered plastic gloves on before searching for more gauze. Her hands were shaking so badly that she thought she was going to drop everything on the ground. Taking a deep breath she stepped back and gestured for Koz to come to her.

"I need a word." Kozik nodded and followed her towards the bar where Asher glanced back at the two at the table. "He needs a doctor before he bleeds out." She hissed.

"No hospital." Spanners voice floated over to them and Asher sighed, leaving Kozik and walking over to him.

"Pete…."

"Don't give me that look, girl." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat and picked up the gauze, gesturing for Lorca to shift his hand as she plugged the hole with gauze.

"Go get cleaned up." She ordered. Lorca nodded, stepping away from the table and headed towards the door. Then it was just Asher, Spanner and Kozik.

"Hey. It's okay, baby." Spanner said when Asher finally looked down at his face which was giving her a pained smile.

"It's not okay, Pete, you've lost too much blood."

"Dyin' ain't scary."

"Don't do that." Asher warned and Kozik stepped over to his side and Asher shook her head profusely at his words before looking up at Koz. "A doctor?"

"Trying to get a hold on him. What can I do?" Asher looked down at her now blood covered hands.

"I want to get the bullet out, but its hit an artery and pulling it out will only make it worse."

"What're you saying?" Koz asked, standing so close to Asher she could feel his breath on her neck. She opened her mouth to say that no matter what, unless there was a doctor, Spanner was going to die.

"I don't know what to do." She said quietly as the pushed the gauze deeper into the wound. Spanner lifted his hand and cupped her cheek, giving her a sad smile.

"It's okay Asher."

"It's not okay!" She almost cried and felt Spanners thumb brush her cheek.

"Glad I got to see you girl. I miss you." Spanner seemed to be ignoring her. "I will miss you."

"Pete…don't." She warned. "You can't."

"I love you, Ash."

"No, don't do that Pete!" She begged, able to feel his heart beat starting to get slower as her hand rested on his chest. "Don't leave me, Pete, I need you." Taking a deep breath she swept her hand over his cheek. "I need you, I'm pregnant. I can't do it without you." Spanners hand dropped down from her face and down to spread it over her stomach.

"He's a lucky man. Luckier than me." He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again quickly. "Kozik- thanks man."

"Thank me when we get you out of this mess, brother." Spanner gave her another pained smile.

"Sure man." Then he closed his eyes again.

Asher didn't remember what happened next. All she knew was that when things came back into focus she was curled up into Bellas side, the older woman brushing a hand over her head.

"I'm sorry sweetie." Bella said quietly and Asher sat up slowly, realising she was in the clubhouse still, in the main bar. "The boys are in the chapel. Can I get you something to eat?" Asher shook her head.

"Pete?"

"Honey…" Bella squeezed her hand. "Come on, lets get you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." Asher said quietly, and Bella squeezed her hand again.

"I know sweetie, come on." She let the Old Lady drag her towards the kitchen and let her sit her down and fussed about. A few minutes later two piece of toast and peanut butter were placed down in front of her. "Where's Sarah?"

"At her parents house." She replied quietly ,staring at the plate. "What did they tell the cops?"

"Bills looking after it." Bella said and Asher scoffed. "What?"

"Bill Haydens helping the Sons now? Hell freeze over?" Bella crossed her arms across her chest and smiled slightly.

"He's helping you. He knew how much Pete meant to you." Asher felt the stabbing in her chest again she leant over and clutched her stomach as the nausea set in.

"I gotta go." She whispered, jumping up and running down the hall, scrambling into the bathroom and throwing up into the toilet, not even noticing the smell or the mess.

"Baby or Pete?" She heard the whisper from the door and she leant against the toilet.

"Pete I think." Bella replied quietly before the clacking of her heels came over to squat down beside her. "How far along are you sweetie?"

"I need..." Asher croaked, feeling groggy. "I need Hap."

"Come on JB." Strong arms lifted her and she hooked her arms around his neck as he carried her up the stairs.

When she woke again, she was alone. And in Happy's room. Or what had once been Happys room. There were no personal belongings there anymore. There hadn't been many there when she'd last been there since Happy had gone Nomad.

_Happy. _

She was sitting up straight away, thankful that whoever had put her on the bed had left her boots on and headed downstairs. They were all in the bar when Asher reached it and she looked around, hoping that maybe Happy was there by now.

"How're you feelin' darling?" Kozik asked when he saw her and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Did you call Happy?"

"I tried," Lorca spoke up. "Something's going down, down there. Can't get onto anyone."

"Okay, I'm going down there." She replied and started towards the door.

"Asher!" She stopped and turned to look at Kozik who had called out to her. "We'll get onto Hap. But you gotta stay here."

"Why? So that I can let all of you look at me like it's my fault that your brother died?" She replied and Kozik shook his head.

"Darlin'."

"I'll tell Hap, I have to be the one to tell him." Kozik nodded.

"Be careful." Asher nodded.

Yeah, none of this was going to go down well.


	51. Chapter 51

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

This chapter is set in season two the night that all the boys come back from jail...just so you know

Feel the love people!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-One – Laughing With<strong>

_No one laughs at God in a hospital  
>No one laughs at God in a war<br>No one's laughing at God  
>When they're starving or freezing or so very poor<br>No one laughs at God  
>When the cops knock on their door<br>And they say we got some bad news, sir  
>No one's laughing at God<br>When there's a famine or fire or flood  
><em>_**-Regina Specktor**_

**Charming CA**

**27th April **

Asher parked the car out on the street, wrapped her arms around her middle and walked up the path towards the Lot where floodlights were shining brightly down on the collection of Harleys parked in a straight line in front of the clubhouse. Taking a deep breath she kept walking, the sound of music being heard from the building as she approached and the door flew open spitting out a young guy in a flannelette shirt and a Prospects cut. Another guy followed him out, laughing loudly as he lunged for the Prospect. Asher walked over and waited for them to notice her. When they did, the laughing ceased and the men stopped to look at her.

"Can we help you darlin'?" The man with long curly hair asked, swaying slightly as he leant against the Prospect.

"I'm looking for Happy." She knew she wouldn't have to say anything more, there were only so many people called Happy.

"Sorry sweetheart, croweater free zone tonight." The man with all the hair replied.

"Do I look like a crow eater?" Asher asked and saw both mens eyes drag over her body, registering the loose jeans and the cardigan she had wrapped around herself, not to mention the lack of make-up. "I just need to see Happy."

"He's busy, come back tomorrow."

"Come on Bobby, let the girl in." The Prospect sighed and this Bobby looked over at the Prospect as if to say 'who-asked-you'. "You a friend of the club?" The Prospect asked.

"Yeah, I'm from Tacoma." She replied and the Prospect turned back to Bobby.

"What'd you say your name was?"

"Asher Hayden." She saw Bobbys mouth split into a huge grin.

"Jesus Christ."

"What?" Asher asked, her brow furrowing.

"You have quite the reputation missy." He said before the club door swung open and Ashers heart jumped into her throat at the sight of him. God, had it only been six weeks? It felt like it did everytime she saw him. His cold eyes shifted from Bobby and the Prospect to her, not even widening when he saw her. "We'll leave you kids to it." Bobby said, making their getaway and Asher braced herself for what was now or never.

"What're you doing here Asher?" Happy growled and Asher bit her lip. He lunged then. She knew it was coming so she braced herself as she backed up into the wall, hoping to soften the blow as his hand wrapped around her neck, not hard enough to hurt her, but enough to scare her. His other hand braced himself against the wall as he leant in close to her.

"What the fuck are you doing here, _slut_?" He growled.

"Kozik said you were here." She gasped, her hand unconsciously going to her stomach. "I had to see you."

"You left remember."

"I remember." Asher choked, feeling the tears welling up, unable to help it. She saw his hand raise up and realised this was her chance.

"Pete's dead." His hand dropped.

"What?" He sneered and Asher felt the tears in her throat again.

"They've been trying to call you all day." She choked. "He got shot last night. I tried to help him." Shaking her head she avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You disrespected me, you fucked off…why are you here?" Asher could see the emotions on his face. The on going battle between his pride and his conscience. "You shoulda stayed there with him. Why'd you come all this way?"

"I'm pregnant." She spat out. His whole body stiffened and she felt the hand around her throat tighten slightly before he pulled it back as well. "What do I do Hap?"

"Get rid of it." He snapped without hesitation. Asher felt her heart break and the tears fall down her cheeks. She wiped at them quickly, ashamed that she was crying in front of him, but nodded.

"Okay." She said quietly, slipping past him without another word and heading towards the car.

* * *

><p>Happy watched her walk away, his breath ragged as the words sunk in.<p>

_I'm pregnant. _

Asher was pregnant. It was his, she wouldn't be there if it wasn't. She wouldn't have gotten knocked up to anyone else. He knew that. He saw her lift her hand to wipe her eyes again as she headed towards the gate and something else dawned on him.

This was the first time she'd ever cried in front of him.

It was also the first time she'd ever just taken one of his orders without questioning it. She was pregnant with his kid and her best friend had just been killed. His brother was dead. The words he'd spoke rang in his head.

_Get rid of it. _

Fuck.

Breaking into a jog he chased after her, catching her as she pulled open the door of her car and went to climb in. He grabbed the door and yanked it out of her hand, glaring down at her.

"It mine?" He growled out and watched her nod, slowly. "Last time-" He started but she nodded answering his question without him having to ask it. "Fuck."

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, her hands coming up to rest on the wheel of the car and stare out the windscreen, not daring to look at him. "I just…" Biting her lip quickly she turned to look at him and he felt his heart drop to his feet. He felt like the worst person in the world. "I knew if I didn't tell you it would just make things worse. I just needed some advice." She said quietly and he felt even worse. "and then this thing with Pete. I didn't want you to find out from someone else."

"I-" He started not sure what he was going to say. He'd told her to get rid of her baby. Fuck it, their baby.

"I know." The corner of her mouth twitched to give him a sad smile. "I'll get rid of it." As soon as she spoke his words back to him he realised his error. He thought he'd lost her a month ago when she'd walked out. But, he knew if he forced her to do this, he probably would never see her ever again. There was only one woman in the whole damn world he would be willing to have a kid with and he was telling her no. What the fuck had he done?

"I thought you didn't want kids, Asher." He growled out, leaning heavily against the car door, watching her in the drivers seat. He should have known, women got to an age when they wanted children, something to pride themselves on. But he'd never thought Asher would be one of them. The shit she went through with Sarah, he figured that she wouldn't want to go through all of it again.

"With the right person I did." She said quietly, Happy chuckled slightly.

"I'm the right person?"

"Don't fucking laugh at me." She sneered and he narrowed his eyes at her. "I came all the way here out of respect for you so don't you dare laugh at me." The tears had started again and she was swiping at them quickly. Happy felt even worse, if that was possible.

"Asher." He sighed, squatting down beside her and reaching out to her but she smacked his hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me." Through everything, the fights, the incident with Sarah, him sleeping around, she'd never pushed him away like that. He'd broken her.

"Come on baby girl." He tried again and she recoiled.

"Don't." She pleaded. "Don't, don't be sympathetic, don't try to help me. I'm doing as you say so don't act like you give a shit." Wiping at the tears again she reached for the key in the ignition and he snapped a hand over hers, wrenching her around to face him.

"Don't you ever underestimate how much I care, Asher." He growled out, not meaning to sound so harsh, but her words had cut him. He had moved to Charming of all places to get away from her. He fucking cared, no matter how hard he tried not to. "Look at me."

"What?" She sobbed and wiped at her face.

"You want a kid that bad?" He asked and she didn't say or do anything, her eyes downcast, watching his tanned fingers wrapped around her wrist. "Answer me."

"Yeah, I want a kid. But I never thought I'd get one."

"If you'd wanted a kid, baby girl you shoulda moved back to Tacoma." She nodded slowly, processing his words. If she'd moved back to Tacoma with him in the first place he would have given her anything. Kid, car, a fucking mansion, he would have found some way to get it for her.

"I'll head back to Seattle first thing and make an appointment."

* * *

><p>Asher had made the resolution that whatever happened she would do what Happy wanted. She'd spent the last ten years ignoring his orders, but this time, she was going to listen to him. No matter what. Even if it meant getting an abortion, she would do it.<p>

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt when he made his decision. Barked at her if anything, and now he was trying to comfort her. And if there was one thing Happy was incapable of, besides love it was comfort. The fact that he was touching her was the worst. The last two times she'd been with him she'd found herself pinned up against something, his eyes turning black and hard, and she knew. He wanted to kill her. And now he wanted to kill their baby. There was only so many things she could forgive. But she understood.

Just like he had never forgiven her for not moving back to Tacoma, but he understood.

"You ain't going anywhere."

"But I- there's no clinics around here."

"You don't need a fucking clinic." He sneered. Images of being pushed down the stairs entered her mind. "Stop thinking that morbid shit Asher." Biting her lip she chanced a look at his face. "You want a kid- you can have one. But you ain't goin' anywhere, not with my kid." He said, poker face in place as Asher stared at him. She swore he'd just insisted she stay in Charming with him and have the baby. "Hey!" He snapped and she focussed in on his face. "You payin' attention baby girl?"

"But I…you…" She started and felt his hand cup her cheek, not retracting from his touch anymore. It sent a familiar jolt through her "Hap…Do you mean it?" He nodded, leaning up and pressing his lips to her forehead and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat as he then looked down at her, their eyes connecting before they drifted to her lips.

"It ain't Tacoma. There's a lot of fucked up shit going down, but this is the safest place. For you…" He paused and his eyes left her lips, going to her stomach, "And the kid."

"And Sarah?"

"That little bitch still living with you?" Asher laughed slightly and she was glad he'd pulled off the joking tone as he continued to stare at her stomach. He loved Sarah like his own niece or something, having her around was always entertaining, even if they spent most of their time fighting. His hand loosened on her wrist and he dragged his fingers down the flesh to the tattoo on her wrist, pressing his thumb on the end of the rosary beads. "She's aight."

"You don't think it's wrong for me to want this." His brows shifted. "Pete's dead Hap and all I could think about was how angry you'd be." She couldn't help the bubbling sobs in her throat and the tears started to sting her eyes. Now all she could think of was Pete. The way he'd told her he loved her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be falling apart like this." He tugged at her wrist and pulled her onto her feet.

"I'll get you a hotel room or somethin'." Asher nodded, looking down at her feet.

"I can do it myself." He nodded.

"Good, I got shit to do here." He gestured over his shoulder and she nodded.

"Course you do. I'll let you know where I'm staying. I'm gunna head back to Tacoma tomorrow, help with the funeral." He nodded and Asher climbed back into the car. She started it up and pulled out into the street , deciding that leaving him be was the best thing for now.

* * *

><p>Happy looked over to the garage as he walked in. Jax was in there, still pissed about the fight in County and the rest of them were in the clubhouse. Who the fuck was he meant to talk to about this shit? He didn't like talking about it, but Spanner was usually with him on these runs.<p>

_Shit. _

At the thought he hadn't expected the overwhelming sense of loss that ripped through him, taking his breath away. He squatted down and put his hands over his head.

"Fuck!" he roared. Spanner was dead. Spanner was dead. Spanner was dead. "Jesus." His hands ran over his face and he tried to regain some composure, but he couldn't. Spanner was his brother, he'd been by his side for more than ten years, longer than Koz. Lorca had trained Spanner like he'd trained him, to be ruthless. It was fucking ironic that their only real weakness hadn't been the thing to bring him down. He could have accepted Spanner dying protecting Asher, because that's what they did, but some rival club bullet wasn't ever meant to kill him.

"Hap!" Tig walked out of the clubhouse and Happy raised his head to look at his brother, knowing that the phonecall had finally gotten through. With them all being in County the day SAMTAC hadn't gotten through to them. "Jesus, man." Tig looked almost sympathetic and Happy clenched his jaw, picking himself up from the ground. He had to put his game face on. He had his brothers to face, Lorca to console and fuck, he had a pregnant girlfriend that needed him more than anything right now. "You heard?"

"Yeah." Happy rasped and Tig nodded.

"Man, I'm sorry, I know you guys…you were like real brothers." _Real brothers, _like they were all meant to be. But he knew that this was not going to put a dint in Jax and Clays bullshit.

"Yeah."

"You heard from the girl? I know her and 'im…" Happy nodded.

"Yeah she knows." He pulled a cigarette out and lit it before heading back to the clubhouse. "Come on, got shit to do."

Half an hour later he found himself sitting in an old armchair in the rank hotel room Asher had gotten. She was asleep in the bed, and he'd picked the lock to get in there. Sitting there in the dark he watched her toss and turn in her sleep, probably with nightmares, his name being muttered occasionally and a small whimper that he was sure was Spanners name. What was he meant to do here? When she'd left him a month ago it was like someone had kicked him in the chest. First it was pain, then anger, then pain again. He didn't know what to feel anymore. She was the only woman that would ever get away with doing this shit to him, and now she was carrying his kid. She whimpered again and he leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he watched her kick at the sheets.

He thought about waking her out of the nightmares as the sun came up, but of course was interrupted by the sound of his phone.


	52. Chapter 52

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Two – Dust Bowl Dance<strong>

_I've been kicked off my land at the age of sixteen  
>And I have no idea where else my heart could have been<br>I placed all my trust at the foot of this hill  
>And now I am sure my heart can never be still<br>So collect your courage and collect your horse  
>And pray you never feel this same kind of remorse<br>There will come a time I will look in your eye  
>You will pray to the God that you always denied<br>The I'll go out back and I'll get my gun  
>I'll say, "You haven't met me, I am the only son"<em>

_**-Mumford and Sons  
><strong>_**  
><strong>

Asher was standing beside Collie as they stood beside the grave in the same cemetery that her father and mother were both buried in. Glancing over at the woman standing beside the grave, a red rose in her hand, Asher realised that Mrs Davies was burying her second child. Her first born son and the little girl that had been murdered all those years ago. Her eyes fell on Lorca who was standing next to Petes mum, looking just as solemn. Pete had been like a son to him as well, and not because he was a Son but because Lorca had groomed him, made him the man he had grown into.

She felt Collie shift and looked up questionably to see him jerk his head behind her and Asher turned her head to see Happy moving in to stand beside her. She hadn't seen him since she'd told him she was pregnant. She thought he might have come back to Tacoma with her, help her go through this, but she hadn't seen or heard from him. He came in to stand beside her and she forced herself to stay still, not say anything.

After nearly an hour of standing there in her black dress and heels, even behind her sunglasses, Asher was starting to feel lightheaded. She hadn't eaten since…well she couldn't remember, things had been hectic. Not to mention she was dehydrated from crying her way through the service as people got up and talked about how much Pete had meant to them. She knew she was at high risk of miscarriage in the first trimester, but with all the things she'd been doing, she hadn't had time to think about looking after herself. Before she could brace herself she felt her body pitch forward towards the ground, only to be caught by a pair of strong arms. She heard Collie say something about getting water and she staggered along with Happy until she was sitting down on the grass. His large hand was fuzzy as he grabbed her chin and turned her head side to side.

"You eaten?" Asher closed her eyes but heard his gruff voice again. "Hey."

"No." Something was pressed up against her lips and she opened them, feeling the warm water go down her throat. She felt like shit, like some helpless child. "I'm sorry, I just…"

"Yeah we get it." Happy said, cutting her off. The water had helped and her head started to feel a bit clearer, and she tried to get up, only to have him push her back down. "Just sit a second." Grateful for the order, Asher slumped back down and tried to stop the nausea in her stomach. She felt terrible. "I've got her Col." Happy said after a bit of silence and she heard Collie start to protest, but she knew all Happy would do was give him a look and he'd be gone. "How ya' feelin'?"

"Is she alright?" Sarahs voice was there and Asher lifted her head to look up at Sarah. "What'd you do?"

"I'm fine Sare, just forgot to eat breakfast." She said, giving the girl a weak smile before scrambling up. She hated people fussing over her.

"Well everyones headed to the wake." Sarah said quietly and Asher nodded, giving another small smile.

"Okay, we'll be there." She could see Sarah giving Happy a sceptical look, but left them, heading back to her brothers who were waiting nearby. "I didn't mean to make a big deal of anything."

"Come on, I'll give ya a lift." She nodded and quietly followed him, glad that most of the mourners were gone so they didn't all see her hitch up her dress and slide onto the bike behind Happy. It was the first real contact they'd shared since she'd told him the truth as she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her cheek into his cut. They were back at Tacoma Auto in a few minutes and there were people in black everywhere. Asher stopped suddenly feeling ill as Happy walked across the lot. She couldn't go in there. Pete had died in there, she'd let him die in there. It was one thing to go in there when she was helping and there weren't many people there. But all those people in there knew the truth.

"I'm just gunna, maybe go back to the cabin." She said quietly. "Not really up to a wake."

"You spoken to his ma?" Happy asked, walking back towards her and Asher shook her head. She'd helped Bella organise the wake and whatever else she could do without having to be in contact with Petes mother.

"No."

"Come on." He ordered but Asher still hesitated. "Come on." It took a lot of teeth gritting but she stepped up and followed him inside. She saw him make a beeline to the older woman who was taking condolences from other people dressed in black. Up close, the woman had similar eyes to Pete, and his smile.

"Mrs Davies." She'd never heard Happy so gentle. The woman looked up and smiled up at Happy, a real smile.

"Oh Happy, you made it back." Asher watched in awe as Happy let the woman pull him into a hug. It was funny because the only one that Happy ever hugged was his own mother, and this woman was the complete opposite to Nora Lowman. "It's so good to see you." Happy didn't offer his condolences and Mrs Davies didn't say anything about it. Happy turned back to Asher and gestured her forward.

"This is Asher Hayden." He said and Asher stopped approaching, mainly because she saw the womans smile get bigger.

"Oh my, you are beautiful. Pete used to tell me these stories about the mischief you two used to get up to, but I'm pretty sure he was just teasing me." Asher smiled, she couldn't help it. She reminded her so much of Pete.

"I'm sure they weren't true."

"Yes, there was a lot of marijuana smoking in them and something to do with painting." Asher remembered the incident when they were painting the back wall of the clubhouse. "Anyway, come sit with me. I want to get to know the girl that my son loved so much." Asher felt awful for this womans assumption and she guessed it was written all over her face. "Oh honey." She took Ashers hand and lead her over to the old couch, sitting down. "I know there was never anything like that, I'm guessing you had feelings for another Son." The womans green eyed gaze drifted over to where Happy was standing at the bar with Kozik and Lorca. "Like I said, Pete thought the world of you."

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more for him." Asher said quietly, ashamed that she'd avoided this woman for so long.

"You did as much as you could." The woman still had Ashers hand in hers and she squeezed it. She actually found it easy to sit there and talk to Mrs Davies and when the older woman finally gave in and decided she wanted to go home, she wasn't surprised to see at least three Sons offer to take her. it was one of those rare moments where Asher saw how much SOA actually cared about their family. The last time she'd witnessed it was when Sarah had been attacked and all of them had been out the front of the police station. But that only reminded her that Pete had been waiting there for her. Her chest hurt at the thought and without thinking she stood up and headed towards the bar, grabbing one of the bottles of whiskey from the bar and a glass and sneaking out the back.

And that's where she sat, the bottle, unopened in front of her on the picnic bench. The glass hung loosely in her fingers and she knew if she stopped concentrating so hard it would fall from her fingers and smash into a million pieces on the ground. She knew that Happy had thought talking to Mrs Davies would help, and it had, right up until the point when she left and Asher was left alone.

"Maybe you're not really a Hayden?" The voice interrupted her thoughts and Asher jumped, sending the glass smashing to the ground, shattering all over the concrete. "Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you." Bill Hayden stepped out of the shadows and came around to stand in front of her, wearing a black suit. She hadn't seen him at the funeral.

"What're you doing here?" Asher asked bitterly, hating the man in front of her. Him, her father, Clay Morrow, all relatives did was bring her trouble. In the past she'd only ever trusted Madster and Tony, but since Clays threat seven weeks ago, she had avoided the womans phone calls.

"Came to see how you were doing." He took a seat across from her and took the bottle off the table, reading the label like he actually cared about the alcohol level or the vintage, before unscrewing it and taking a long sip.

"Well I'm still here, no thanks to you."

"I know I haven't really helped you the last few years." He started and Asher cocked her eyebrow, "or ever. But I know this is a huge loss for you."

"What would you know?"

"I lost my brother not so long ago remember." Bill replied.

"He wasn't your brother, he was the shell of a man that I never even knew." She hissed, clamping her mouth shut as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She'd never meant to say it. She had never even thought it. It made her sound like she hated Frank Hayden, which she didn't.

"Good." Bill said, not berating her for the words. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a large manilla envelope and slid it across the table.

"What is this?"

"The truth."

"Wha-" She was cut off when she heard the familiar gravelly voice.

"What're you doing here?" Happy stepped out of the shadows and Asher saw a glimmer of fear in Bills eye. He'd sent Happy to jail twice and held him overnight countless times and the Tacoma killer still put the fear of god in the Sherriff.

"Just leaving." Bill said, standing up and nodding to Asher. "I'll see you Asher. Take care of yourself sweetheart." With a furrowed brow, Asher watched her uncle disappear around the side of the clubhouse before turning around.

"You aight? He not givin' you any trouble?" Asher hid the small smile on her face and shook her head.

"No."

"I gotta get back to Charmin, I'll take you back to the cabin." _Oh._ Asher bit her lip and stood up.

"You're not staying?" The set of his jaw, the narrowed eyes told her that she'd been fooling herself. He hadn't forgiven her. She'd screwed him over, gotten him in a vulnerable position with her, with his club and then bailed. Just because he was looking after her, didn't mean he was going to _look after her. _

"Nuh." Nodding, Asher picked the manila envelope up and followed him towards the bikes parked in the lot.

* * *

><p>Bella looked over her shoulder as a large tattooed arm wrapped around her waist from behind.<p>

"Stalkin' darling?" Lorca whispered in her ear and Bella sighed as she watched the crestfallen look on Ashers face after Happy had said something to her and they headed towards the lot.

"He's going to fuck her over." Bella said quietly.

"Not your problem." Usually she would have agreed, but she had a soft spot for Asher. Kid deserved to be happy after all the shit she'd been through.

"She's a good girl, Lorc. She doesn't always do the right thing, but its for the right reasons." She felt her husbands chin rest on her shoulder and his hands laced together over her stomach. "They both deserve to be happy."

"What? You want me to tell Hap the truth?"

"You're the one that invited Bill Hayden here. I saw him give her an envelope." Lorca pressed a kiss to the blade tattooed on her neck. "If Asher knows all that stuff, she's going to need Happy to protect her." She sighed and leant into the President. "Please, Lorca, whatever you know, tell Happy."

"I love you, you know?"

"I know." She said quietly, turning around in his arms and wrapping her own around his neck. "And We're gunna get through this baby. Them too." She jerked her head towards the couple retreating across the lot.

"Yeah, aight." Lorca pressed a kiss on her cheek and walked off, Bella watching him go. She knew that this thing with Spanner had hurt him real bad. They'd never had kids, they had chosen to focus on the club. But Spanner was like Lorcas kid, hers as well. But Lorca had turned Spanner into the man that he died as. Fun, loyal, trustworthy and honest. Much like the man that he was, and much like Happy, minus the fun part. She knew that Lorca would listen to her. It was very rare that she pulled out the Old Lady card and played her hand. But this was important. Asher and Happy weren't hurting just themselves anymore – they had Sarah, and now they were expecting a baby.

"Bella?" Speaking of the devil, Sarah Stevenson walked over, her sleeves pulled down over her hands and a hole in them where she'd stuck her thumbs through.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"Have you seen Asher?"

"I think she left with Hap." Bella said, gesturing over her shoulder and Sarah smiled.

"Thanks ." Before going to turn around.

"Hey," The girl turned around again and tugged on her sleeves again. "how're you going? With what's been going on with Asher and Hap." Sarah shrugged.

"They love each other, they'll sort it out."

"You sure?" Bella asked raising an eyebrow and the teenager nodded.

"Yeah, they will." Then she was gone. Bella couldn't help but shake her head. They should have just saved themselves the trouble and changed the girls last name to Hayden. She was Asher all over, except maybe a little more honest.

* * *

><p>Asher took her shoes off and padded up to the cabin, turning the knob before realising Happy wasn't following.<p>

"You coming in?"

"Nah, like I said, I got shit to do." He growled and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I don't want to be alone." She said quietly and he shrugged. "You're still pissed off about me leaving aren't you?"

"Why'd you do it?" he asked and she bit her lip. She couldn't tell him, no matter how much she wanted to. It would put him between Clay and her and she didn't want that.

"I can't answer that."

"Then I can't stay." He reached down to start the bike, but his cell went off and he pulled it from his cut as Asher leant against the door. Monosyllables were used before he flipped the phone shut and leant down to start the bike. "See ya back in Charming." Then he was gone, the sound of the Harley still being heard long after the tail lights disappeared.

Taking a deep breath Asher walked back into the cabin. Her body felt weary and she stumbled through her shower routine, letting the tears fall silently under the spray before wrapping herself in one of Happys sweatshirts and crawling onto the couch.

"Hey!" Happys voice broke through the haze of sleep and Asher lifted her heavy eyelids to see him leaning over her. "Wake up baby girl." She scrambled up, tugging the sweatshirt down over her thighs as he straightened up.

"I thought you were leaving?"

"Did Clay threaten ya?" He asked, ignoring her question.

"What?" her mind was still foggy from sleep as she rubbed her eyes before running a hand through her hair.

"When you were last here, did Clay threaten ya?"

_Oh shit. _

Looked like Lorca had told Happy what he knew.

"Hap-"

"Answer the fuckin' question, Asher." He growled and Asher sighed.

"He didn't threaten me." She said seeing him get angrier thinking she was lying. "He threatened you." She confessed.

"Fuck Ash." All the fight and tenseness that had been between them evaporated as he slumped onto the couch and rubbed his hands over his face. "Why didn't you tell me?" Asher rose her eyebrow, she was pretty sure that part was obvious. "So you left cause he said he'd kill me?"

"No. He said he'd make sure you were ratted out for Camerons murder."

"I'd go back to jail." Asher nodded quietly. "Shit."

"I've lost my whole family Hap, you and Sarah are all I have left." He rubbed his face again and she saw him inhale and she knew it was taking a lot of self control not to put his fist through something. He reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him.

* * *

><p>"I'm gunna look after ya, baby girl." Happy muttered, pulling her even closer and leaning back on the sofa. Lorca had told him as much as he could when he'd called Happy back, but this he hadn't expected. He'd threatened Asher with his freedom and Asher had caved. She knew Happy would never forgive her for leaving him like that. But the brave bitch did it anyway. He felt like shit for shutting her out. He should have known. He'd already failed at his first task as an Old Man. If she was worried about being a mother and an Old Lady, he was going through the exact same thing. At least she had some experience with Sarah. All he had was this overwhelming need to protect and look out for Asher, and the little thing inside her.<p>

Clay and the club had enough to deal with at the moment. He knew fronting his president on the issue wouldn't go over well now. And by the way Lorca was speaking he wanted him to wait it out. Like he knew something Happy didn't.

Asher sobbed slightly into his cut and he kissed her head, his fingers fiddling with the long strands of hair.

She was broken.

This had broken her. And it was his obligation to fix it. Sitting there, he made a mental list of all the shit they had to do. He'd get her a house, somewhere where she could live until he was there permanently, move all her shit down there. Talk to Tara, he was pretty sure she specialised in babies or something. He'd have to tell Clay. And he'd have to get her enough money to survive when he went to jail so she wouldn't have to work. As soon as that kid was out of her though, he was having his name tattooed all over her. He was over playing games. She was his now.


	53. Chapter 53

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the reviews! I feel so loved. Here's a bit of Asher/Happy goodness for the day. I will try to follow the events of Season 2 as best as possible in the next few chapters so the next chapter will be set in Service. But until then...Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Three – Perfect<strong>

_Your strength is lightening striking down  
>You sway<br>Gently in the breeze  
>In between my dreams<br>It kind of makes me nervous  
>In my dreams<br>You were perfect  
>When I woke up<br>You were perfect  
>Even when you run<br>You're still worth it  
>Here and now<br>The moments perfect __**  
>-Vanessa Amorosi<br>**_

**Tacoma WA  
>April 2008<strong>

Sometime during the night, Happy woke up on the musty couch, with Asher curled up in his side and a crick in his neck. It took a minute to work out how he'd gotten there before he realised they'd fallen asleep. Not caring if he woke her up he climbed off the couch, hearing a groan from the girl as he lifted her into his arms and carried her down the hall to her bedroom. Putting her down on the quilt he took a moment to inspect her in the dim light.

The furrowed brow as she slept and the way she instantly curled herself up into a ball seemed to be out of habit. A habit, he realised she'd gotten into since leaving Tacoma last. Since she'd bailed.

Six weeks ago he'd wanted to kill her and now here he was, completely understanding the sacrifice she'd made. She'd wanted to keep him out of jail so she'd stayed away. And now…well now she was knocked up and he was going to jail. And this time it had nothing to do with her, but his own loyalty to the club. Again, the club would pull them apart.

Pulling off his cut and kicking off his boots, he crawled across the bed and pulled her into him, his nose burying into her hair.

They were still like that when he woke up again, except her body was stretched out along his and his hands were resting over her stomach. Her hair was in his face, the sweet smell of vanilla was all around him but he didn't move. He'd have to go to Charming today. Chances were this was the last time that they'd be in Tacoma together for a long time. It was probably for the best. Shit always got hard when they were in Tacoma, at least Charming was a fresh start, or as fresh as it could be.

"You're staring." Her voice was croaky as she turned over in his arms, her hips grinding up against his. "I can feel it."

"What else can you feel baby girl?" He growled, getting harder as she pressed up against him.

"Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Sometimes the dramatic shift in her personalities scared him, but right now, he was happy for it. He didn't handle sobbing, sad Asher very well having not had much experience with her. But flirty, horny Asher, well he knew that bitch like the back of his hand.

"It ain't no roll of quarters, hooker." He pushed his hand up over her thigh, the fabric of his hoodie being pushed up to her hips and his fingers found the hem of her panties.

"Hmm. Cute." As soon as she opened her mouth, he pressed his lips down on hers hard, rolling them so that he was lying on top of her. He ran a hand down her thigh and pulled her leg around his hips, grinding into her before going back to the task at hand, pushing up his hoodie up her stomach and over her head, leaving her there in the lacy panties and nothing else.

* * *

><p>Seven weeks, that's how long it had been since he'd touched her. It felt like years as his calloused hands ran up her sides and over her breasts, before his mouth pulled away from hers and his tongue followed the same path his hands had taken. Asher felt her body shudder as his teeth raked over the scar on her stomach. Her hands ran over his head, before she fisted them in the sheets at the heat of his breath on her leg as his fingers looped in her panties and pulled them down her legs. She had no delusions that he didn't get off on the idea of him being fully clothed while she was underneath him naked and desperate.<p>

"Hap." She groaned when his teeth sank into her thigh and she gripped the sheets tighter as he licked over the bitemark. The things that man could do with his tongue. As if reading her thoughts he put his talents to good use, his tongue driving straight into her centre, making her yelp. Throwing her head back into the pillows she let him do ask he pleased, whimpering when he pulled away before she'd come. "Wha-" Her words were cut off when he thrust two of his fingers deep inside her, lifting her hips off the mattress. "Oh my god."

The serious look on his face told her that it was taking a lot of self control not to just fuck her. He was just as wound up as her.

"I want you, Hap." She gasped and he thrust deeper with his fingers, "Please." He pulled his hand away and Asher quickly reached for his jeans, undoing the buckle and releasing his hard on from the confines of his jeans. She palmed him, wrapping her hand tightly around him and squeezing only to have her hand batted away.

_So impatient._

Asher wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him closer and fisted her hands in the fabric of his t-shirt bracing herself for him. And she was glad she did because when he thrusted into her, she was pushed deeper into the mattress. He growled as he pulled out and entered her again, driving deep. She held on for as long as she could, but it didn't take long for him to reduce her to a shaking moaning mess, having to wrap her arms around his neck so that she could stay connected to him as he finished.

"Fuck."

Yeah. She had to smile as the word left his lips in a low growl and she fell flat on the bed, letting him fall on top of her, enjoying the way his weight rested on her before he sat up and pulled off his shirt and finished shucking off his jeans. Asher lifted the covers and crawled under them, waiting for him to join her. Lying there on their backs, his eyes closed, Asher watched his chest rise and fall under tattooed skin before she let herself drift off to sleep again.

* * *

><p>It was her stomach that woke her up the next time and she flew from the bed, sliding to her knees and throwing up into the toilet. Holding her hair back she waited until her stomach was settled before flushing and turning around to the shower. It was time she got up anyway, she decided, starting the water and waiting for the hot water to kick in before climbing under the water and letting the water pelt down around her, rinsing and spitting a few times before she started to lather the shampoo through her hair.<p>

When she got out she found Happy walking down the hall in her direction, naked and looking for a shower by the look of it.

"I'll cook you some breakfast." She said as he passed and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Get cooking woman." He growled, slapping her on the ass as he went.

"Ass!" Asher called after him but smiled and headed towards the kitchen.

When he was showered and back in last nights clothes, Happy sat down at the kitchen bench and watched Asher pour him a mug of coffee and turn back to the stove.

"So you gunna head off?"

"Yeah, got shit to do in Charming today." Asher nodded and turned over the steak in the pan. Having not really eaten for the last few days, there had been no food in the fridge so she'd had to raid the freezer, finding a few ingredients. "I gotta organise a house so you'll 'ave to stay here a few days." She nodded, smiling slightly. "When you get there, don't fuck around in Charming alone aight?"

"Charming's not that big." Asher muttered and heard Happy slam down his coffee mug but she ignored him. This shit wasn't going fly with her. "I can hold my own."

"Look, we got fuckin' white hate prowlin' around town. You're like fuckin' nazi bait." Blonde haired and blue eyed, Asher could understand his concern.

"Okay."

"I'll call you with the details." Sliding some toast, steak and gravy she'd managed to whip up, onto his plate she placed it in front of him. "Come here." He gestured her around with his hand and Asher walked around to his side of the bench, letting him pull her onto his lap like he used to when they were in Seattle. "Eat." He ordered, holding a piece of toast up to her. Rolling her eyes, Asher took it from him and bit into it. "And you're gunna start fuckin' eating again. I ain't fucking a skeleton."

"Nice." She muttered through a mouthful of toast as the cell on the counter buzzed. "Guess that's your cue." She said holding it out to him and he flipped it open and Asher slid off his knee.

"Aight. I'll be there." He hung up after a minute and put the phone down, picking up a piece of toast and putting the empty plate in the sink. "Gotta roll." He said and Asher nodded, following him to the door. "I'll call you." He implored once his boots and cut were on and he was outside.

"Okay." He leant down and pulled her up to meet his lips before he was heading towards his bike again, shoving the piece of toast in his mouth as he put the helmet on his head and started the bike. Asher leant on the doorframe as he rode off back into Tacoma before heading inside. She had a lot of phonecalls to make.

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA<br>April 2008**

"Hi, I'm Asher Hayden." She said to the receptionist at the hospital. "I have an appointment with the Chief of staff."

"Just take a seat." The receptionist said and pointed to the empty waiting area, which was a lot different to the waiting room downstairs. Asher sat down and leant back into the chair. So this was St Thomas', Charmings only hospital, where she'd applied to get a transfer.

After leaving Happy nearly eight weeks ago, she'd forgotten to cancel the applications she'd made to St Thomas' and Sacramento Base. She hadn't really been in the frame of mind to think about where her career was going. But when she'd gone back to Seattle and started organising her move, she'd realised she still had the transfer in motion. So yesterday morning when he'd called and said he had the house under contract, she'd decided she might as well be employed in Charming. It wouldn't take much to quit Seattle. They'd known she was leaving so it was just expected. She was kind of thankful that she'd been so forgetful and not cancelled all the plans she'd made originally.

"Miss Hayden?" A lady in a grey skirt suit stepped out of the office and Asher took a deep breath before walking in.

Half an hour later, Asher had five months permanent work. She'd expressed that she'd have to stop working eventually and had finally had to confess out loud to someone besides Happy or Spanner that she was pregnant. The lady had smiled, congratulated her, asked her where her husband worked where Asher had had to vaguely tell her that he was a travelling salesman, before letting her know that they could work through that after her probation of three months was up.

Walking out of the hospital she felt a bit better. Sarah was meant to be coming out soon, she'd wanted to stay with her parents a bit longer and Asher realised she'd probably have to get her enrolled for the last few months of school otherwise she'd have to repeat.

_Shit._

Knowing that Happy was busy and couldn't take her to her new home yet, she decided she might as well organise Sarahs schooling. She was half tempted to let her stay in Seattle in her flat and finish out the year, but Sarah had seemed okay with changing schools even if it was towards the end. It didn't stop Asher feeling incredibly guilty though. Three months was all she had left. That wasn't much time to make lifelong friends, not that Asher had any from highschool. But before that, she actually had to get Sarah into high school. And the best way for her to do that was in person.

She was texting Sarah as she walked down the hallway of Charming High. It had been easier than she'd expected. She reached for the large front door only to have someone open it for her and hold it open.

"Ma'am." Said an older man who had a shaven head and a white short sleeved button up shirt on, his collar exposing a number of nazi paraphernalia.

"Thanks." She said, lowering her gaze and trying not to make too much of an impression. She knew Happy was right. She was nazi bait. She'd proven enough times that men had trouble forgetting her, let alone ones that like blonde hair and blue eyes.

"You have yourself a nice day." She didn't say anything, just kept walking, going halfway around the corner to make sure he wasn't watching her before doubling back to the Camaro when she was sure he was gone.

The ringing of her cell started up before she left and she pressed the call button and held it to her ear as she pulled on her seatbelt.

"Hello?"

"Saw your car in town." Happys gravelly voice said down the line and she smiled.

"Yeah. I'm at the high school."

"Removalists here with all your shit, and your dog." Asher smirked. It had taken a bit of convincing to get the removalist to let Grumpy come down with them, mainly because he was a massive pitbull, but her neighbour Janice had put the dog in the back of the truck and warned them not to open it until either Happy or her met them.

"Whats the address?" She jotted the address down on her hand with a pen from the dash and said goodbye to Happy, hanging up and starting the car.

* * *

><p>The scene in front of her when she parked in front of the house was enough to put a smile on her face. There, parked in the driveway was the removalist truck, the door up as two men in overalls stood in front of it, not game enough to move towards the truck where the huge brindle pitbull was guarding all the furniture in the truck, prowling back and forth in front of her belongings. Climbing out of the car Asher walked over, looking around for Happy.<p>

"Hi." She said sweetly and the two men turned to look at her.

"You Miss Hayden?"

"Yeah…sorry about the dog." She said gesturing to Grumpy but not ordering him to heel.

"Your ah…the guy said you were the only one that the dog wouldn't attack." Asher rolled her eyes. That was bullshit. Grumpy adored Happy, hence the name.

"Grumpy." Asher whistled and the dog perked his ears up at her before bounding off the back of the truck, making both men jump out of the way as he trotted over to Asher and sat at her feet. Asher squatted down. She'd missed the huge dog. "Heya boy." She said rubbing his ears before standing back up and walking over to the truck as the men unloaded boxes and she held out her hands to take one only to have it lifted out of her arms before she could even take any of the weight.

"You're in charge of supervising." Happy ordered and Asher stepped back, rolling her eyes.

"Good to see you too." She muttered before walking over to the quaint little house with the front porch that led to a screen door that covered another heavy wooden red door. Pushing it open she looked around. It was small, three bedroom, but there was a large enough kitchen with a counter and room for a table as well as an ensuite in the main bedroom.

"It alright?" Happy walked in, dropping the box on the ground and Asher winced, praying that it hadn't been one with the plates in it.

"It's nice, thanks." He nodded and Grumpy made himself comfortable in the corner of the kitchen near the back door. "Dog likes it."

"Where do you want this?" He asked, gesturing to the box at his feet and Asher pointed to the empty kitchen.

"I'll unpack in there." He nodded and went in, dropping the box again before walking out again. Deciding to make herself busy, Asher ripped open the lid sighing when she saw the plates all wrapped in bubble wrap. She pulled them out and unwrapped them, inspecting them for damage as she went, Happy and the two removalists bringing in boxes to her. It was a lot different to the last time he'd helped her move, when there'd been three Sons to do most of the work. The memory brought back a pang of sadness at the thought of Pete. She didn't even realise she'd stopped moving until she felt a large ringed hand take the glass she'd been unwrapping out of her hand.

"Hey." He pulled her around to face her and his hand was under her chin. "You aight?"

"Sorry, zoned out I guess." She gave him a small smile of reassurance and hoped that he took the hint that she didn't want to talk about it. She saw him take a deep breath before he levelled with her.

"You got a problem, you come to me- got it?" She nodded. It was almost enough to bring up the issue of their status- whether this was an Old Man order or not. But by the serious look on his face she decided against it. She could wait- it wasn't like she was going to have to go to the Clubhouse anytime soon.

"Promise." She said quietly and he nodded.

"Aight. They're bringing the bed in, go tell 'em where you want it." She took the orders without a fight and went over to direct the men who were manoeuvring her bed through the narrow door down the hall.

* * *

><p>A few hours later they were finished. Walking out the front door of the house with her cheque book, Asher pulled out a pen to write the payment out when the younger one of the two men shook his head.<p>

"It's been sorted out, darling." Asher rose an eyebrow and smirked.

_Fucking typical. _

"Thank you." They nodded then left, not saying another word. She wondered just how much money Happy had given them to get in and get out as quickly as possible. Walking back into the house she went to the kitchen where there were still two unopened boxes and opened the one that said 'bedroom' rummaging around in it until she found what she was looking for. Once she had it, she walked down the hall to her bedroom to find the Tacoma Killer stretched out on her bed.

"What'cha got there?" He asked when he saw her.

"This," She held her hands up, "is Eddie." The pig shaped piggy bank she'd had since she was seven was one of the only things she still had from her childhood. "It seems he's back in use." Happy didn't say anything about it just lay his head back down on his folded arms as Asher put the piggy bank on the cupboard that had been moved in. "How long have I got you for?" She asked, crawling up his body and making herself comfortable in his side.

"Gotta get back there tomorrow morning."

"So I take it your going to be living here with me?"

"I'm not fuckin' payin' rent on a house I ain't living in." he growled and Asher smirked.

"Good."

* * *

><p>AN: Well what did you think?


	54. Chapter 54

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Set at the end of Service- thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews. They're the reason why you're getting so many speedy updates..and I'm procrastinating writing two essays for school. Anyways enjoy!

Asher and Happys theme song is the title to this chapter- if you haven't heard it … well shame on you =D

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Four – Off to the Races<strong>

_My Old man  
>Is a bad man<br>But I can't deny the way he holds my hand  
>And he grabs me<br>He has me by my heart  
>He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past<br>He doesn't mind I have a LA crass way about me  
>He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart<br>-__**Lana Del Rey **__  
><em>

**Charming CA **

**April 2008 **

"You put the call into Lorca?" Clay asked Happy as he sat at the bar beside Juice.

"Yeah." He nodded, looking up at his President. Fifteen minutes ago, the man that he'd wanted to kill three days before, had told them all his wife had been raped. By white power no less. "Koz's on his way, Lorc was held up." He didn't miss the sneer on Clays face at the mention of Lorca.

"Good, how many?"

"Donut, Bowie, coupla Prospects and a couple of Nomads. Shit's been sideways since Spanner." He answered.

"Good." Happy nodded, this was his cue to tell his President the truth.

"Can I have a word?"

"It important?" Clay asked and Happy nodded.

"Yeah, kinda is." The President jerked his head towards the Church and Happy followed him in, taking the seat Tig usually sat in while Clay sat at the head of the table. "Whats up?"

"I brought Asher back with me." He replied and watched Clay shift uncomfortably. "She's gunna be livin' here in town. Just wanted to give you the heads up."

"You makin' her your Old Lady?"

"It is what it is." He answered and saw Clays jaw tighten.

"I don't like it." He growled and Happy remained passive. "You askin' permission?" Happy shook his head. Clay wasn't his President, Quinn the Nomad President was. And if push came to shove, Quinn would back Happy, he still remembered the favour Asher had done for Taylor years ago. "Guess I'll be seein' her here tomorrow then." Clay stood up and went to walk away but stopped and patted Happys shoulder. "It's aight brother." Happy nodded and watched Clay leave before getting up and heading back out to the bar.

Tig was just coming back with two duffles of guns and Happy took one from him following him down to the gym.

"Clay looked pissed."

"His niece is in town." Happy replied as he dropped the duffle and took a cigarette from his cut, and lighting it. He saw Tig get a grin on his face.

"Fuck me, Asher Hayden?" Happy nodded, inhaling from his cigarette and looking around the gym. "Bet she's got you all twisted up again don't she?" Happy knew Tig would be the only one beside Koz that would say it to him, but a lot of them thought it. He didn't like it, it made him vulnerable. And he didn't do vulnerable. "Don't worry brother, I won't tell." Tig smirked before heading out of the gym.

* * *

><p>The sun had set as Happy walked into the house and leant against the kitchen doorway, watching Asher move easily around the kitchen, singing quietly to the music playing, her hips swinging to the beat as she stirred a pot on the stove. Crossing his arms across his chest he took a moment to take her in. Her tiny little shorts were riding high on her long legs, the blue SONS shirt folded up and tied in a knot at her back so that the word <em>Tacoma <em>could be seen on her hip. Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun at the top of her head, dark streaks contrasting with the light, almost silver strands.

The subtle changes over the years had turned her from a hot teenager into a beautiful young woman. He didn't mind though. They'd both changed so much over the years, it was hard to care anymore. Deep down they were the same people. She was just as tempting as she had been when she was off limits, even though now he knew nearly everything about her. Including that she was carrying their baby.

_His baby. _

None of this would have happened if he hadn't been there that day to save her from enduring a fate like Gemmas. It was bad enough Sarah got hurt, if Asher had gotten hurt, he wouldn't have been able to live with himself. He would have ended up just like her old man.

He didn't know where her head was since Spanner was dead. He'd lost brothers before, but Asher, she'd never lost anyone she cared that much about. Most men would have been jealous, but he just had to grit his teeth and bare it because he didn't have a right to question her on her grief, he'd put her through enough pain in the past, she could have this.

He dropped his arms and pushed himself away from the doorway to walk over and slide an arm around her waist, causing her to jump before relaxing into him.

"Hey." She said, leaning into his chest and looking up at him with bright blue eyes. It had been a long time since he'd seen them rimmed with black eyeliner like he loved them, but he didn't mind, it made her look all innocent with her freckles and long lashes. Tig was right, she had him all twisted up again.

"You cookin'?" he asked, his lips finding the skin on her neck and nipping gently at the skin.

"I hope you're hungry." She laughed, her head falling to the side as he poked his tongue out to soothe the bite.

"I want dessert first." He growled into her neck, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her into him, he ground his hips into her ass.

"Hap." She laughed, reaching up behind her and pulling his head down to her lips. Once she'd laid a quick kiss on his lips she shoved him away. "I've been slaving away …" She said stirring the pot again and sticking her finger in the sauce, licking it off. Happy watched on, feeling his pants tighten at the sight. How the fuck did she make the most simple tasks so fucking sexy? "And…" She trailed off and looked around his shoulder.

"Well isn't this all cosy." Happy turned around to see Sarah Stevenson leaning against the doorframe, her long thin arms crossed across her chest, her short black dress over the top of torn white tights and brown roper boots. Her dark hair was falling straight around her shoulders and she tucked a strand behind her ear, flashing the ink on her wrist, similar to Ashers.

"Surprise." Asher said sheepishly and he turned back to look at her. "I honestly didn't know she was coming so soon." She added in a hushed tone.

"Well Uncle Hap, don't I get a hug?" She asked, walking into the kitchen and holding her arms out wide. Sighing Happy stepped back from Asher, letting her go and hugging the teenager.

"How you doin' kid?"

"Well, I just spent the last however many hours on a bike with Kozik, how do you think I'm doin?" She laughed, pulling back and shrugging. Stepping past Happy, Sarah walked over to the pot and looked in. "Watcha cooking mama?"

"Spaghetti."

"I'm a vegetarian." Sarah said, stirring the pot and Asher rolled her eyes.

"Well you can just eat the pasta then. Not my fault Donut killed a deer in front of you." Asher replied, shoving the girl out of the way and resuming stirring the pasta sauce.

"Fine, I'm going to go and call Mum stop her stressing before dinner."

"Ten minutes Sare." Asher warned when she saw the teenager grab her phone from the kitchen bench and walk out, waving it in recognition. Turning back to Happy Asher bit her lip. "You okay with this?"

"Fine, Asher , least you'll have someone here with you." He said as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her again, rubbing his hand over her stomach. "With both of you." He growled into her ear before he stepped back and smacked her on the ass, making her jump and heading to the fridge for beer.

"You planning on going somewhere Killer?" She asked quietly and he turned around to see her leaning against the stove, watching him.

"Just some stuff we gotta sort out. I'll be out a bit." Happy took a long sip of his beer, trying to avoid the eyes that were on him. She was watching with so much worry it unnerved him a little bit. Besides his mother he hadn't ever seen it from another woman.

"How long?"

"Until its sorted." She nodded.

"Okay." Her voice was raspy and she turned around to go back to stirring the sauce.

"You're going to be staying at the Clubhouse until it's over." She didn't answer him, just kept stirring the pot. "You listening to me, bitch?" He almost yelled but she didn't jump. She was never afraid of him unless he had his hands up against her throat, threatening to kill her. Until then she didn't entertain his threats. She was a tough bitch and he loved that about her.

"I'm fucking listening to you asshole." Asher bit back, spinning around to face him. "Don't treat me like a child." He wanted to tell her she was acting like a child but he didn't have the energy. He just wanted her to be safe.

"Clubhouse, tomorrow." He ordered and she sighed.

"You're not going to tell me why?" She asked, turning around to face the stove again.

"No." It then fell into a silent lull, Happy drinking his beer, Asher stirring the spaghetti sauce.

"So, my mum says Thomas…" Sarah looked between the silent couple in the kitchen, Asher with her back to them and Happy paying more attention to his beer than his woman, "Oh great, what did you do this time?" Sarah snapped, directing her dark eyed glare at the biker.

"Sarah…" Asher sighed.

"I got some shit to sort out at the Clubhouse, I'll get something to eat there." Swallowing the rest of his beer, Happy chucked the bottle in the bin, trying to ignore the heartbroken look Asher was giving him over her shoulder.

"Will you be back later?" She asked quietly and he shrugged.

"Don't know." He answered without any commitment before heading towards the door and letting it slam behind him.

* * *

><p>"Oh fuck him!" Sarah practically yelled and Asher shook her head.<p>

"Leave it Sarah."

"No!" Sarah stormed out of the kitchen, letting the door slam behind her as well as she jogged down the path to catch up with Happy. "What the fuck is your problem?" She shouted after him and he stopped and turned around.

"What do you want kid?"

"What do I want?" She practically screamed at him, "I want you to grow the fuck up and act like there's more than one person in your little pitiful life."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He growled turning his back on her.

"No, no I don't. I just listened to Ash cry herself to sleep every night after you told her you wished she was dead." Sarah yelled.

"I never-" he growled, spinning around to face the teenager and jab a finger in her direction.

"I was there Happy. I was in the car when you told her to never come back, I was there dammit!" She stomped her foot involuntarily as she tried to stop the tears trailing down her cheeks as the one man that she could rely on glared down at her, "It's not my fault that she wouldn't move back to Tacoma in the first place. I wanted to! You said if she went I went, I wanted a real family Happy, you can't blame me for her choosing not to."

"Sarah-" he started, his voice sounding like he was trying to calm a frightened animal.

"No! You listen to me for once!" She knew she was being rude and disrespectful, but she didn't care anymore, she was over having to pick up the pieces of Asher's broken heart after Happy stomped all over them. "Ash didn't want to move back with you because she didn't think that she could handle being your Old Lady because she'd have to put up with the cheating and the secrets. She always told me loving a Son was hard work but she does love you, so much that the tiny moments you get together are better than the fights you'd have if she were with you Tacoma. She couldn't stand the idea of hating you or you resenting her because she couldn't handle the life. She loves your stupid ass and she wouldn't have kept the kid if she didn't." She didn't know when Happy had slumped his shoulders and stopped to listen to her, all she knew was he was finally listening, and it was time he knew the truth. "I know she gave you a choice when it came to the baby, Hap. Don't shut her out now, not only will you lose her, you'll lose your kid too and then you'll have no one to come home to. I think it's not too much to ask you to give up the sweetbutts and the whores so you can come back to someone that can fuck you better than any other bitch around." Sarah said knowingly and Happy rose an eyebrow. "Kozik has a big mouth."

"Sarah!" Asher's voice came from the house and Sarah looked over her shoulder to see the woman standing at the door, framed by the light. "Come on!"

"I know I'm a brat, but don't blame me for your scaredy cat issues. Go tell the one person that gives a shit and won't judge you." She said, pointing her thumb over her shoulder and starting off down the street.

"Sarah! Where the fuck are you going?" Asher yelled from the house, running down the pavement to watch the teenager light a cigarette and saunter away.

"Gunna go find some fun, later." She called and kept walking.

* * *

><p>"Jesus Christ." Asher sighed, before realising she was standing next to Happy, looking up at him briefly. "Guess she's outstayed her welcome already." She muttered and Happy shrugged.<p>

"Whatever." Ignoring her he strode over to his bike and swung his leg over the seat, trying to pretend the heartbroken woman wasn't standing there watching him with her arms crossed across her chest and a scowl on her face.

"You stay there the night or come back smelling like a hooker you can kiss that fuck you were aiming for goodbye." She said quietly as he leant down to start the bike. He paused momentarily, letting the words sink in. He knew she wasn't just talking about sex, she was talking about anything to do with them. He wasn't stupid. She was drawing the line before she got too invested in him. Without a word he started up the bike and kicked it into gear before pulling out of the driveway and heading down the road in the opposite direction to Sarah.

* * *

><p>Sarah was standing in front of the Charming High School nearly half an hour after walking away from Happy and Asher. Cocking her head she admired the sign before looking up at the huge building. If her and Asher ended up staying here, she'd be going to school there by Monday. It didn't look a thing like her school in Seattle but that was probably a good thing. Inhaling another drag of her third cigarette she blew out the smoke as she heard a motorbike coming down the dark street. Maybe Happy and Asher had made up and she'd sent him looking for her? Exhaling the smoke, she didn't think so. Asher knew she'd be okay and the chances of a happy reunion between the couple so soon was slim to none after that blow up.<p>

The bike got closer and Sarah dropped her cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, extinguishing it and turning to see the Harley Dyna pull in beside the footpath. Sarah smiled when she saw the Sons of Anarchy cut shining under the streetlight above them.

"Hey." He called out but Sarah didn't move. "What're you doing out here?"

"Walking." Sarah replied coolly.

"Its not safe out at alone at night." He told her. "There's some pretty creepy dudes hanging around." Sarah shrugged, looking off down the street before turning back to him, his face hidden by the shadow from his helmet, but she could tell that he was young. A lot younger than Happy or Kozik, but he was in shape and from her appraisal of his body- definitely hot.

"So far you're the only creepy dude that's bothered me." She replied, poker face still in place.

"I'm not creepy." He replied and Sarah rose a dark eyebrow. "And I ain't bothering you."

"I was just out enjoying a relaxing walk and you're getting all in my face about it. That bothers me." He seemed a bit taken back by that and she smirked. Sons- so used to getting everything they wanted.

Whatever he was about to say was drowned out when a big black truck came along the street, music pumping loudly from the speakers. The passengers spotted them and the windows came down, two guys Sarah's age hanging out, checking her out.

"Hey Hottie! We're goin' to a party, wanna come?" Sarah cocked her head to the side as they pulled into park in front of the motorbike. "Come on baby." They called and Sarah smiled, stepping towards them.

"Okay." She shrugged, heading towards the truck, only stopped when a hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her up short. Spinning around on her heel Sarah gaped at the biker, who had removed his helmet on the rush over. "What're you doing?" She snapped, looking up at his worried face, a very cute face, she mused. And she was always a sucker for a Mohawk, even if he had tattoos on his head.

"Stopping you from going off with creepy dudes." He practically yelled.

"Come on man, she wants to come with us." The red head teenage boy said, as he leaned out the window. Sarah looked up at the biker, biting her lip before stepping forward and pressing herself up against him, noticing how rigid he went at the contact and her free hand swept across his cut before going around his neck and pulling his head down to her, he didn't resist, even when she pressed her lips to his and sucked gently before pulling back and licking her lips. He let her wrist go and Sarah gave him a coy smile.

"Cute." Then without another word she spun around on her heel and climbed into the truck with the teenagers and drove off into the night, leaving the biker standing on the footpath wondering what the fuck had just happened.

* * *

><p>Happy turned the knob of the front door, surprised when it popped open and realised Sarah mustn't be home yet. Walking into the house that was completely dark except for the blue light coming from the television, he looked around. The pot was still on the stove, probably hadn't been touched since he left. He strode over to the pot and looked in at the cold bolognaise sauce. His stomach let out an involuntary growl. Eating hadn't been high on his priority list when he'd found himself sitting drinking quietly at the clubhouse, kicking off any croweater that came near him. He was pissed off at Asher, her and her stupid rules had fucked up every plan to throw himself into pussy and whiskey instead of dealing with the fact that he was going back to jail and leaving her to raise his kid by herself. And he had wanted to drown himself in both those things, but everytime he reached for the wispy little blonde near the end of the couch, he could hear her words in his head.<p>

_No fucking_

_No one to come home to _

_No baby _

_No Asher._

Little croweater didn't stand a chance after that. He had a hot blonde with kick ass curves and more stamina than any of those hoes sitting on the couch waiting for him to come home. And the whole time he couldn't help but think that what happened to Gemma could have happened to Asher. Hell, it had happened to Sarah. And that's what had him on the bike and going home.

_Home_

Picking up a discarded bowl on the bench he threw some of the cold, almost congealed spaghetti into it and spooned sauce over the top before dumping it in the microwave and hitting buttons until the light came on and it started whirring.

"Do you have to be so fucking loud?" A tired voice came from the doorway and he looked over his shoulder to see her standing there in the same clothes she'd been wearing earlier, rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry baby girl." He laughed, watching her stumble towards him, and he took the bowl out of the microwave and sat it on the bench as she reached him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and waited for her to say something.

"I worry."

"I know."

"I'd miss your stupid ass if something happened." She said into the leather of his cut, her hot breath soaking through the thin t-shirt he was wearing.

"I know, baby girl." He said tiredly, walking with her still wrapped around his middle until he was near a stool and he sat down, pulling her up to sit on his lap and wrap her arms around his neck as she swung her legs over his thighs. "Gemma got raped, Asher."

"What?" Her head popped up and he shook his head. He knew she'd freak out. Rape was far too close for home for her.

"Hey, hey, cool it." He ordered and he could tell she was forcing herself to stay still. "We're gunna sort it, promise." She nodded and curled back up on his lap.

"Is Gemma alright?"

"She's tough." Asher nodded and he knew Gemma and Asher had a few similar traits, but he knew she would kill him if he told her that.

"They said that about Sarah too." She muttered and he nodded. "Sorry I flipped out." He smirked and took a forkful of food. She shouldn't be apologising, but he let her go anyway. He knew she wouldn't appreciate him fighting with her now.

They sat in silence as he ate with her face pressed into his neck. Sarah had said Asher loved the little moments with him. And he did too. He liked that she didn't feel the need to talk, she just liked to sit there with him. By the time he was finished she was fast asleep against his chest and he carried her into the bedroom and tucked her in before brushing his teeth and taking off his cut and holster and crawling in with her, otherwise fully dressed, too tired to think about it. "I'm gunna miss you too."

* * *

><p>The surprisingly hot red head, Jake or Steve or whatever, had had his hands all over Sarah all night. And she'd just let him. She was too drunk to care and she liked the attention. In the end it was her that had dragged him by the hand up to a spare bedroom in whoevers house it was and push him back onto the bed, jumping up to straddle his lap. As she kissed him, the last thing on her mind was Asher, or Happy or even the cute biker she'd assaulted outside the High School. She was in such a drunken haze that she was letting her hormones lead the way.<p>

"You're so fucking hot." Tim or Brett or whatever said as she slid his t-shirt off. Ignoring his poor attempt of flattery she pressed her lips down to his again trying to shut him up. And she did a good job of it, until she felt his hand dip into her panties and she shot up straight, the pleasant spinning in her head coming to a slamming halt as she stared down at the redhead. The redhead without a name.

It hadn't happened for a long time. The short drop and sudden stop that left her crying on the floor as an eight year old and staring up at the huge man leering down at her, his heavy breathing in her ear made her throat go dry and the familiar prickling of fear down her back.

_I ain't gunna hurt you princess. _

The redhead without a name didn't stop though, his hand kept trying to get in underneath the lace of her panties and she shoved his hand back quickly.

"Stop." She ordered and he looked up at her with surprise.

"What?" He asked, his hands sliding up and down her thighs making her skin crawl and she scrambled off the bed, searching for her boots. "Where are you going?"

"I gotta go." She said, trying to remain calm.

"What the fuck? I've got a boner and you're going to leave me like this?" He shouted after her but she didn't care, she just walked out the door, letting it slam behind her as she carried her boots through the crowded house and out the front door, stopping at the end of the garden path and pulling her boots on and wiping the tears that were cascading down her face.

Taking a deep breath she started to make her way back to Asher's. Whichever way that was.

It felt like hours later and she had no idea where she was when she heard the motorbike behind her. Keeping her head down she kept walking, hoping they wouldn't pay her any attention as she swiped at her running nose.

"Hey." Sarah kept walking, ignoring the voice of the guy that had stopped her earlier outside the school. "You alright?" She didn't say anything, just kept her head down. When she heard the revving of the bike she thought he had left but instead he popped it over the gutter and parked the bike in front of her, looking her dead in the eye.

"What are you like stalking me now?" Sarah snapped.

"Ah…no. Why would you think that?" He asked and she just glared at him, popping her hip and resting her hand on it. Her mood change dramatically going from scared to pissed off. Sons always had that effect on her. "Look, I was just seeing if you're alright."

"I'm fine."

"You look it." He laughed.

"You done asshole?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "I already got an uncle that does that, I don't need another one."

"Let me take you home then." He said kindly and she knew he was just trying to help her but she didn't care. How dare he come and act like he cared when he didn't even know her.

"I ain't no sweetbutt." She sneered.

"I never said that." He retorted, looking more confused than angry. "Look I'm offering you a lift home to your house, where I will drop your spoilt ass off at the front gate and leave it there."

"And they say chivalry is dead."

"Keeping it alive darlin'" He replied, smiling now that he was sure she'd psyched down a little bit. "You want a ride?"

"Fine." She sighed and he unclipped his helmet and held it out to her. Sarah knew the drill, Koz had done it with her a hundred times so she took the helmet and clipped it up, sliding on behind him and fisting the front of his cut tightly in her hands.

"Where do you live?" He asked, before he started the bike.

"Three blocks west of Teller Morrow." She replied and he nodded, starting the bike and pulling off the footpath and back onto the street.

When they pulled up outside Ashers house her eyes were distracted by Happys bike in the drive, a different spot as it had been before she left, but it was there. Sliding off the bike she undid her helmet and handed it over to him.

"Who's bike?" The guy said, probably unable to recognise the details of the Dyna in the darkness.

"My guardians asshole boyfriend." She muttered as he took the helmet and stuck it on his head and sat there watching her. "You angling for a tip?" She asked.

"Don't even get a thank-you?" he asked and she shook her head.

"Nope."

"Alright." He didn't push it, leaning down and starting the bike again, "I'm Juice by the way." He said and she stared at him blankly. "What was your name again?"

"I never gave it to you." She said turning on her heel and heading up the footpath, noticing that the bike idled on the curb until she was inside before revving up and speeding off down the street. Once she was alone in the dark house, she couldn't hide from her thoughts. The tears started again and she kicked off her boots and headed down the hall to Asher's room walking in quietly.

The curtain was open and she could see Asher curled up in the sheets while Happy lay on top of them, completely dressed with his arm slung over Ashers waist, his hand resting on the skin of her stomach, his tattoos glowing in the moonlight. She leant on Asher's side and saw Asher's eyes flutter open and look up at her.

"Did I hear a bike?" She asked quietly and Sarah nodded, wiping at her face quickly. "Oh baby." She said softly, scooting back closer to Happy and lifting the covers so Sarah could get in. When she was lying with her back to Asher, Asher wrapped her arm around her and hugged her tightly. "We're going to be okay Sare." She said quietly and Sarah nodded. "I promise."

"I'm sorry for fighting with Hap."

"I'm sorry for being such a pushover." She sighed and squeezed Sarah again, letting her know this was the end of the conversation and it was time to sleep. "Goodnight baby."

"Night, Ash." Sarah, finally at ease closed her eyes and snuggled into the blankets and eventually dozed off.

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><p>AN: So? What did you all think? Let me know! =D


	55. Chapter 55

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all again for the wonderful reviews! I appreciate them so much! The updates will probably start slowing down soon - so apologies in advance!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Five- They <strong>

_Who made up all the rules  
>We follow them like fools<br>Believe them to be true  
>I'm sorry<br>So sorry  
>It's like this<br>And it's ironic too  
>Cause what we tend to do<br>Is act on what they say  
>And then it is that way<br>__**-Jem **__  
><em>

**Charming CA **

**April 2008**

When Asher woke she realised she was so warm that she didn't want to move. Ever again.

Opening her eyes she saw a mass of shiny brown straight hair she recognised as Sarahs. The teenager was lying with her back to her, her head resting on Asher's arm. Turning her head to look at the ceiling then drop to the other side she smiled. That explained the weight on her shoulder and side. Happy was sprawled over her body, his knee between her leg and his arm wrapped tightly around her waist, his shoulder pinning her to the mattress as he lay on his stomach, his face so close to her own that she could feel his breath on her lips. Her arm was somewhere underneath him, dead obviously with the weight of the huge man on it. But she didn't mind.

This was probably the last time she'd ever get to be with the two most important people in the world to her in such a quiet place. No fighting and no crying. Just quiet.

"You ever get sick of staring at him?" Sarah's voice asked and Asher didn't even look over at her, just continued to rake her eyes over the muscular arm over her body and the face so close to hers.

"No." She replied simply and it was true. She would never get sick of Happy. Finally registering what had happened last night she turned her head to the teenager. "Who did you come home with?"

"Don't know, some douchebag friend of Happy's." She said sitting up, not bothering to keep her voice quiet.

"Where were you?"

"Some highschool party. It was lame." Sarah said, inspecting her dark purple nail polish and avoiding Asher's eyes. She knew she didn't have to tell Asher what had happened. She could read everything on her face, saying it out loud only made it real.

"It'll get better baby, with the right person." Asher told her charge and Sarah nodded.

"I know."

"Just be careful. You're not going to be a good sister if you're out partying all the time." Asher smirked and Sarah nodded, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I know, mama. I'll go and get us some breakfast from a bakery or something. You wake his ass up because I will not condone your fucking while I'm in the house." Slipping out of the bed Sarah headed towards the door and Asher sighed. Girl was too much like her.

Turning her head back to the sleeping biker she grinned, wiggling and watching him get irritated and roll off her and flop onto his back. Taking that as her chance she shimmied out of the sheets and climbed over his legs, straddling them and scooting down so her groin brushed his morning hard on, getting a groan from the man underneath her. Biting her lip she slipped her fingers in the belt buckle and flicked it open, making quick work of his button and fly while he lay there with eyes closed.

The moment she knew he was awake was when she pressed a kiss to the skin above where his jeans sat and he took a deep intake of breath but didn't move, waiting for her to make the next move. She reached her fingers into his jeans and took his semi-hard cock into her hand and stroked it until it was standing to attention in front of her. Only then did she let go of her lip and leant down to sweep her tongue over the head, seeing his eyes scrunch up at the sensation before she pressed her lips to it and slid her mouth over it, swiping him with her tongue again.

As she sucked and licked Happys hands moved to wrap the fingers through her hair. The moans she was getting from him were making her wetter by the second and when she couldn't bare it anymore she held herself over him with one hand and used the other to dive down her own shorts and into her soaked panties.

When she touched herself she let out a moan, causing Happy to shudder in her mouth before yanking her hair and pulling her off of him. Asher let out a whimper at the loss of contact before she was pinned underneath him again, her hands pinned over her head so quickly she had no idea how it happened.

"That's mine." He growled into the skin of her neck, biting down hard and Asher jumped underneath him before he swept his tongue over the mark. One of his hands left her hand and dived down her shorts stroking her though her panties.

And just like someone knew they were having fun, his phone started to ring.

"Fuck me." Happy groaned.

"I was trying." Asher muttered as he flipped over and picked his phone up and flipped it open.

"Yeah?"

* * *

><p>Sarah pouted her lips as she browsed through the juice section at the grocery store. Charming needed a Wal-mart or something because the prices were ridiculous. Picking up a bottle of orange and passionfruit she read the ingredients. She was contemplating whether it was too concentrated when she saw a woman come around the end of the aisle pushing a trolley, her stiletto heeled boots clipping on the floor. Out of the corner of her eye Sarah made a mental note of the womans description out of habit, pretending to read the juice label. It was a habit that Asher had gotten her into since they'd both been caught off guard too many times.<p>

The woman would have been in her late forties maybe, her dark hair streaked with huge panels of blonde, glossed lips and tight fitting jeans that only she could pull off with a figure like that, completed with a leather jacket. The huge tattoo poking out the top of her low cut shirt told her all she needed to know.

That woman was an Old Lady. And by the way she was holding herself she was definitely higher up in the food chain than most.

"Calorie counting honey?" The woman said, spotting her reading the label and Sarah lifted her head to look at the woman.

"Don't like concentrated juice." Sarah replied, putting the juice back on the shelf and looked around for another option. Happy hated mango juice, Asher hated apple juice. And she hated concentrate. It was easier just to buy a carton of oranges and make it themselves. The woman reached over and plucked a bottle off the shelf and handed it over.

"This ones good." Sarah took it warily, looking down at the label, not missing the fact that the womans eyes were on Sarahs wrist where the black ink was standing out against her pale skin.

"There a problem?" Sarah asked when the woman still hadn't looked up from her wrist.

"Interesting ink."

"Thanks." Sarah replied almost snidely. She'd heard that a million times, mostly said after the person noticed the thin pink scars that the tattoo covered.

"Hides your scars well."

"That was what I was going for." The woman cocked her head, looking like she was going to say something before thinking better of it.

"Hiding them doesn't make them go away." The woman said shrugging and Sarah smiled at her sarcastically.

"No kidding."

"Well…" The woman looked down at the juice bottle. "Enjoy your juice." With that and that familiar air of superiority that women of the club possessed she strode off, pushing her full trolley and Sarah headed in the opposite direction, passing the bakery section on the way and getting some pastries, making sure to get the colourful ones, having not forgiven Happy completely yet.

* * *

><p>"Remind me to kick this 'Juice''s ass when I meet him." Asher said crankily as she started up the coffee machine and moved around the kitchen while Happy took a seat in front of the bench where he'd sat the night before with her on his lap.<p>

"I think you got him back." Happy said gruffly, a satisfied smirk on his face at the memory of him getting his blow job finished while he was on the phone no doubt. Asher opened her mouth to say something snide in response but heard her car pull into the driveway and looked out the window as Sarah climbed out and headed towards the door. "You gunna tell her or me?" Happy asked and Asher sighed, running a hand through her long tangled hair.

"Me I guess. Do I have to worry about what happened between you two last night?"

"No." he said shortly.

"Morning family." Sarah said sweetly as she strode in, dumping the plastic bags on the kitchen bench and looking over at Happy. "Pseudo - Dad."

"Fuck off kid." Happy growled and Asher slapped Sarahs arm shaking her head at the smart ass. "Your mother has something to tell you." He added quickly and now it was him on the end of Ashers disapproving look. She hoped she conveyed the message that she thought he was an asshole effectively.

"I've been gone like half an hour." Sarah said shaking her head mockingly at Asher who was shifting foot to foot awkwardly. "What is it?" She asked quickly, noticing her guardians lack of comfort.

"We have to go and stay at the clubhouse."

"Why?" Sarah asked and Asher looked over at Happy pointedly. She'd told him when he'd gotten off the phone that this was a bad idea. No-one was going to hurt them, there was no need to bring up more bad memories for Sarah. To which he'd pointed out he didn't give a shit. He wanted both his girls safe and that was that. He'd called them both his girls and Asher had been a total pushover.

"We had some trouble with outsiders and the Prez's wife got raped kid." Happy came to Ashers recue. Ripping the metaphorical bandaid right off. Sarah froze. All mothering instincts went off in Ashers head and she started to panic.

"Is she okay?" Sarah asked quietly and Asher nodded.

"She will be baby."

"You're going after these assholes?" Sarah asked Happy and he nodded. "You'll kill them like you did the others?" He nodded again. "Okay." Sarah said and Asher felt her whole body relax. "I hope they have cable at this joint cause I've already missed three episodes of Gossip Girl." Asher felt the need to question her. After last night she was worried. She knew that Sarah had trouble with letting guys get near her, even though she acted like she didn't.

"Sarah, you don't have to be okay with this."

"It's fine." Sarah said, looking at Asher, a small tone of pleading in her voice, "Happy wants us to go to be safe. Because we're his family. _Right?_" She asked Happy the question and he nodded, his face not letting anything show. But Asher knew he was surprised, the way his eyes shifted. "Well? Are you packed or do you want breakfast first?" Asher shared a look with Happy before heading towards the coffee machine.

"Breakfast Sare, tell me you got apple Danish."

"I got _every _kind of Danish." Sarah replied triumphantly and pulled the paper bags out of her shopping bag and looked in to confirm which were which. "Apple for mama. Apricot for me. What do you want Grumpy? Raspberry or custard?" At the sound of his name, Grumpy came padding out of the bedroom, not realising Sarah was talking to Happy. She held the bags up in front of Happy and he reached out and snagged the custard, clearly not impressed with the lack of real breakfast before looking down at the dog near his feet.

"Fuckin' pussy food this, brother." He growled, ripping some pastry off and tossing it to the dog.

"You want me to cook you something?" Asher asked quietly when she passed him a cup of coffee and Happy shook his head, his lip twitching.

"No thanks babe." Taking a deep breath and enjoying the calm Asher took the Danish offered to her and started to pick at it, not overly hungry but knowing she should eat something. Not even an hour later they were bundled into Ashers car and following Happy on his bike to Teller Morrow, Grumpy up in between them in the front seat.

"Wow this place isn't exactly the Ritz." Sarah said as she climbed out of the car and slung her bag over her shoulder. Asher followed suit sighing as she too swung her bag over her shoulder and tugging on Grumpys lead.

"I hate clubhouses."

"Me too." Sarah sighed, stepping around the car and Asher walked over to her, looking for Happy. "You told them about the brat yet?" Sarah asked and Asher shook her head.

"Keeping it quiet for awhile. None of them even know we're living together." Asher said quietly still scanning the crowd. "Croweaters _love _me." She added spotting the gaggle of short skirted girls.

"Come on, you're an Old Lady now. Lets kick some ass." Sarah grinned, taking the lead off Asher and tugging her and Grumpy along.

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><p>AN: What do you think? Review! x


	56. Chapter 56

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Six – Hotel California <strong>

_Her mind is definitely twisted  
>She's got the Mercedes benz<br>She's got a lot of pretty pretty boys  
>That she calls friends<br>Welcome to the hotel California  
>Such a lovely place<br>Living it up at the Hotel California  
>We are all just prisoners here<br>Of our own device  
>Last thing I remember was<br>I was running for the door  
>I had to find the passage back to the place I was before<br>You can check out anytime you like  
>But you can never leave<em>**  
>-<strong>_**The Eagles**_

**California CA **

**April 2008**

Happy had well and truly disappeared Asher discovered when she looked around the Clubhouse. Sarah was outside having a cigarette and not wanting her and Happys kid to turn out like a mutant she had opted to be inside, where there was just as much smoke and no one to make feel guilty about it.

"You alright hun?" A woman wearing low rise jeans and a tiny tube top walked over to stand in front of Asher. "You look lost." She added.

"I'm just waiting for someone." She replied.

"Are you waiting for Jill? Cause she's inside. You're new right?" Without another word the woman grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the kitchen. "Come on hun, I'll show you the ropes." She said and Asher was dragged behind the woman whos long brown hair sashayed with the movement of her hips.

"Really, I should just…" She trailed off and just kept following the girl, decided maybe this wasn't so bad. At least someone was talking to her.

"Now just get to making some coffee hun, and I'll be back to help you with the sandwiches." The woman said when they were in the cramped kitchen and a bag of coffee was thrust into her hand her overnight bag being pried from her grip and dumped in the corner.

"Okay." Asher said sceptically but went about making coffee anyway, filling up the machine and watching it drip into the pot. It smelt so good she was tempted to make a cup for herself. Taking it out of the machine she started towards the door where a redhead appeared and smiled.

"Cool, I'll take that. Here you go." An empty jug was thrust into her hand as quickly as the full one was taken and Asher was left there with the empty pot.

"Yeah, thanks." She snarked before turning back to the machine and starting it up again. She was onto the third pot, having given up on caring about the attitude of the other women towards her when the nausea hit. Shakily the pot was put on the bench and she ran over to the sink and bent over to it, sucking in large breaths of air, trying to quell the feeling.

"Hun, what the hell are you doing?" it was the same brunette from before, Annie, Asher was sure her name was.

"Not feeling so hot." Asher muttered as she heaved again.

"Look, a lot of us are hungover, but come on girl, get your act together. These men won't feed themselves." Turning around Asher had a plate of tuna shoved into her hands. "Breads by the microwave." Annie ordered and the red head reappeared just as Asher got a huge whiff of the tuna and couldn't help it. The only thing she could do was turn around and throw up into the sink.

"Fucking new bitches." The redhead bit out but Asher didn't care, all she was thinking about was the urge to throw up.

"Hey sweetheart, you got any of those Tuna sandwiches?" A male voice said and Asher started running the tap. "What's up with her?"

"She's new, you know. Still learning darlin'." Asher groaned, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand hoping to god it didn't happen again. "Get your shit together." The redhead sneered once the guy was gone and Asher was left alone in the kitchen. She was suddenly longing desperately to be back in Tacoma.

"What're you doing in here?" Her head jerked up and she spun around to see Kozik leaning against the door frame.

"Pretending I'm not here." She replied and he walked over and glanced down in the sink before looking up at her.

"You okay jailbait?" His voice was full of concern but ignoring him Asher rolled her eyes at the name and nodded.

"I'm fine."

"Get out of here, kid. Go and find the Killer." He said jerking his head towards the door and Asher went to step past but he looped an arm around her waist and stopped her. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine Koz." She replied softly and Koz nodded, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her cheek before retracting his arm and Asher gave his arm a squeeze before she walked out into the crowded clubhouse, her eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar face.

"Hey!" A female voice was right behind her and Asher guessed it was aimed at her so she slowly turned around. "You're meant to be making sandwiches." The red head put her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at Asher like she was a kid getting told off. Asher went to say something but the red head held her hand up to silence her. "And FYI blondie, newbies pick last and I call dibs on Kozik so back off."

What was it with these red heads?

"Ew." Asher had never been so thrilled to hear Sarahs snarky attitude in her whole life. Smacking down a croweater was too easy for Asher, but having Sarah around would help her refrain putting the slut through the wall. "Kozik, that's like so gross."

"Who the fuck are you?" The redhead snapped and Sarah shrugged. "Oh a slut and her baby. How cute." Red didn't stand much of a chance after that. Asher raised her hand and slapped the little hussy straight across the face causing her to reel back and clutch at her face.

"What's going on over here?" Jill hissed, walking over and trying to usher onlookers away from the bickering women.

"The new bitch just slapped me." Red shrieked, pointing her finger at Asher.

"Did you just slap her?" Jill asked incredulously and Asher shrugged. Fucking sweetbutts. She was trying to help, she wasn't an official Old Lady so she should have been earning her keep, but she wasn't no sweetbutt, and no one spoke to her like that.

"Tell her to back it up or she won't be sucking MC dick ever again." Asher threatened and the Red gaped, stepping up and glaring down her pointy, make-up caked nose at her. Asher didn't see it, but when she felt all the wind knocked out of her, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and gasped for air. "Fuck." Asher hissed as she clutched at her stomach.

"Asher!" She heard Sarah shriek. "Someone get Hap!" she yelled and Asher felt hands grab her chin as she doubled over, trying to gasp in air.

"Hey JB, you alright baby?" Koziks familiar voice was in her ear and Asher looked up at him, finally regaining some breath.

"I'm okay." She bit out as people were shoved aside and Happy appeared in front of her, Kozik stepping out of the way quickly. "I'm fine." She said before he even choked out any words. "Just winded." She reassured, straightening up but not touching Happy.

Instead he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into him.

"You sure."

"You failed sex ed didn't you?" Asher hissed and Happys brow furrowed. "It was a rib shot, I'm okay. We're okay." she whispered the last part and heard a slight whoosh pass Happys lips. A sigh of relief that made her smile slightly.

"Someone get Tara, I want her checked for broken ribs." Happy ordered the nearest member and there were a few shouts then everyone resumed what they were doing, one of the croweaters swanning past with a plate full of Tuna sandwiches.

"Jesus, fuck Hap let me go." She begged and out of surprise he let her go before she darted down the hall and found the nearest bathroom, skidding to her knees and heaving over the toilet.

"Ash?" She heard Happys voice and knew he was hesitant to come near her, not really sure how to handle this situation.

"I'm fine Hap, just close the door." She asked quietly and she heard footsteps before the door clicked shut. When she was positive that round was over she stood up and walked over to the basin, starting the cold water. She'd just finished washing her face when there was a knock at the door and a brunette girl stuck her head around the door. "Are you wanting sandwiches?" Asher asked coldly and the brunette shook her head and walked in.

"No, Happy asked me to check on you. I'm Tara- Jax's girl." She said holding out her hand and Asher laughed, holding her hand out.

"Asher, the resident slut." She replied and Tara cracked a smile.

"You want me to take a look at your ribs " She asked and Asher nodded and walked over to drop the toilet seat so she could sit on it and Tara could look at her ribs once she'd lifted her t-shirt.

"I bet Happy wishes I was a bit more Old Lady." Asher sighed, wondering if she was ever going to stop getting hit by sweetbutts.

"Believe me you do not want to be Gemma…or me." Tara replied and Asher shrugged. "You're a bit of an urban legend around here yourself. The one girl that for a couple of days a year has Happy so twisted around her finger that he'd kill his own Brothers."

"That's not true." Asher laughed before wincing at the pressure on her ribs.

"Well good news is nothings broken. You may want to stop playing with the sluts for a little while though." Tara stood back and Asher resumed pushing down her shirt. "Nice ink."

"Hmm." Asher replied, looking down at her feet.

"You sure you're feeling okay?"

"Just nauseous, it's nothing." Asher went to stand up but the dizziness made her sit down again.

"Happy seemed pretty worried about you." Tara said, looking down at the top of her head, watching Ashers shoulders rise with a shrug.

"I'm okay, it's nothing to worry about." Tara nodded and Asher knew by the look on her face that she knew. "Eight weeks." She said and Tara furrowed her brow, feigning innocence. "That's how far along I am. Like I said – completely normal. Just don't like Tuna."

"Does Happy know?"

"Yeah, he knows." She said quietly and Tara cocked her head to the side slightly watching her.

"Things okay?"

"They're fine." Throwing in a smile for good measure Asher stood up again, this time without the dizziness. "Just a bit of an adjustment you know, from seeing each other a few times a year to being in each others lives for the next eighteen years."

"You want to talk about it?" Tara asked and Asher shook her head, smiling though. She liked Tara.

"Not really." Tara nodded, understanding.

"The chewing out that Sweetbutt just earned wasn't for some knocked up bitch. That was a man looking out for his woman. Like I said, I've heard about you Asher. You're MC mythology." Asher rolled her eyes. "Don't let those whores make you think you're anything less to Happy than that. You're carrying his offspring- you own his ass." This made Asher laugh.

"Thanks Tara."

"Come on, the boys were heading to Church. They'll be out soon." Tara pulled the door open and stopped dead. "Hey Gem."

"Doc. You got my niece in there?" Asher stepped forward and pulled the door the rest of the way open. "Asher Hayden, spreading joy wherever she goes."

"Isn't it meant to be Asher Hayden spreading her legs wherever she goes?" Asher snarked and Gemma shrugged.

"I've had a change of heart." Asher refrained from saying _'Didn't know you had one.' _Knowing it would only get her in trouble. "Your uncle said you smacked down some croweater."

"She smacked me down." Asher replied and Gemma tutted.

"Getting too flirty with one of the boys?"

"Kozik."

"Couldn't you have picked someone better than Kozik?" Gemma sighed and Asher shrugged.

"Fucks a fuck."

"I don't know where you got that dirty mouth from because I know your grandmother doesn't talk like that, and neither does Blue's Old Lady. Come on, the boys will be out of Church soon." Asher and Tara shared a look before following the Queen out into the Clubhouse. "Croweaters need a lesson in MC hierarchy." Gemma muttered as they walked past the Crow Eaters and Asher ignored the glare she was getting from the red head, and all the others. Looked like you pissed off one you pissed off them all. "Thankfully for you that little girl you had with you sorted them out." Gemma said, sitting down at the bar and looking over at Asher.

"What did she do?" Asher sighed tiredly and Gemma patted the seat next to her.

"Don't you worry about the girl. I know this isn't your home charter sweetheart, but you're family here, more than you were in Tacoma, that means you sit your ass here and you do as I say, not those hang-arounds." Asher nodded, sitting on the stool and swivelling around to face the bar wishing she could have a drink. "What's on your mind Ash?" Gemma asked seeing the longing look and Asher turned her head to look at the older woman.

"Nothing, I mean…" She bit her lip before raising her eyes to look at her aunt. "I know we're not really close or anything, but…I'm really sorry about what happened to you."

"Jesus, what's the whole world know?"

"No." Asher said quietly.

"Sorry sweetheart." Gemma sighed. "Look I'm fine, better than fine even. I've got my whole family behind me." She definitely had that right. "Tell you what though, having Happy behind me would be scarier." She said, raising a knowing eyebrow.

"Yeah I guess. I know what Sarah went through because she didn't talk to anyone. "

"Sarah?"

"Sarah Stevenson, Blue and Liz's girl." Gemma eyebrow got higher. Realising Gemma had no idea what she was talking about, she backpeddled. "Sorry, don't worry."

"That the little brunette that came in with you?" Asher paused not sure whether she should admit it or not "Jesus, I didn't even recognise her." Gemma seemed to think about something before turning back to look over her shoulder at the bar as Asher looked over at Tara who was cradling a little blonde baby.

"That her kid?" Asher asked, smiling at the look of adoration on Tara face as she rocked the baby.

"Jax's from his ex." She turned her head to raise an impeccable eyebrow at Asher. "Raising someone elses kid- you girls have a lot in common."

"I didn't raise Sarah." Asher said distantly as Tara continued to cradle the baby.

"You took on a teenager, believe me that's the hardest part." She went to say something else when the Chapel doors opened and the boys piled out. Gemma slid off her stool and patted Asher's arm before walking away. Asher wanted to turn around and look for Happy, but she reminded herself, she wasn't his old Lady and she sure as hell wasn't in Tacoma anymore.

"Tara sort you out?" His gravelly voice broke into her thoughts and she looked up at him standing beside her, his arm resting on the bar.

"Nothings broken."

"And the…" He waved his hand slightly and she nodded.

"It's normal." She reassured.

"We gotta head out. Rooms third on the right." He dug in his pocket and handed Asher a key. Taking the key Asher nodded and he went to walk away but stopped. "Stay the fuck away from the kitchen." There was a hint of a smile to his voice and Asher nodded.

"No slutting around, got it." He went to say something else but shut his mouth quickly, seeing Clay walk out of the Chapel and shared a look with her that said all she needed to know. _We'll talk about this later._

* * *

><p>"Put this on your hand kid." An icepack was tossed at her and Sarah held it to her hand as she looked up at Happy. He had gone to get it for her about fifteen minutes ago and only just returned.<p>

"You okay?" She asked, seeing the worry lines on the older mans face.

"Yeah."

"Gave you a fright didn't it? Seeing that bitch hit her like that?" Happy nodded slightly and Sarah smiled.

"Scared me more when you took a swing at her. Who taught you to hit kid?"

"Kozik." Sarah replied sheepishly, wiggling her fingers slightly, hissing at the pain shooting down them. "Haven't ever hit anything harder than a bag."

"When this shits over, we're teaching you how to hit- properly." He insisted and Sarah nodded, still smiling.

"Thanks Uncle Hap." She said sweetly and the man rolled his eyes.

"Think I can have a moment with the girl, Hap?" A familiar voice said and Sarah looked up to see the woman from the grocery store standing in the kitchen doorway. Happy pushed away from the bench and headed out the door without a word leaving the woman and Sarah alone. She rose an impeccable eyebrow. People saw the way Happy treated her, the way he joked with her. It was no secret that Happy liked younger girls, but these days it was just a particular younger girl. It was too hard to explain to people her and Happys relationship. It was even harder to explain his and Ashers relationship so she just downplayed it simply.

_I don't know what you're talking about. _

Or

_Gross, he's like a brother. _

Happy wasn't like a brother and she did know what they were talking about, but…telling people that your earliest memories were in his arms, being carried out of hell. The way he'd refused to let her go and her father had had to pry her from his arms. He was ranked up there with father figures and heroes. Happy was her hero, and she in turn was the little girl he would always protect. And Asher, Asher was the glue that held them all together. Kept them sane. Well she had until Spanner had died. Now, they were the ones trying to keep her sane.

"How was your juice?" Sarah smirked slightly at the memory. In her haste to get out of the grocery store she hadn't realised that the woman had handed her orange and mango juice. Thus leaving Happy very…_un-happy. _ She knew that his slightly better mood at the moment was due to the fact that Asher had slapped some slut and he was damn proud of his woman.

"Good thanks."

"You Lizzie Stevensons girl?" She asked and Sarah shrugged.

"Seems I'm at the disadvantage." Sarah quipped, pulling out her cigarettes and held the packet out to the woman who took one and lit it with her own lighter as Sarah lit hers with Ashers lighter from her pocket.

"Gemma Teller Morrow, Clays wife." Sarahs eyes softened. This was Gemma, Asher's somewhat aunt and the reason they were there. "What?" Gemma must have noticed the look Sarah was giving her.

"Asher told me what happened." The older woman nodded. "Her and Happy got together because of me, you know. I'm not taking credit, cause we all know they woulda gotten together eventually. But I'm the reason no one fought it." She said inhaling and blowing out smoke. Gemma tried to remain cool and calm as she leant against the kitchen bench and looked over at Sarah sitting on the opposite side. "I was raped when I was a kid," she took a deep drag, she didn't talk about this with anyone. But by the look of passiveness on the Old Ladys face she guessed this wasn't the first time she'd heard that.

"Did the guy have friends?" Gemma asked. Sarah shrugged.

"I was eight , I dunno. Maybe, Asher doesn't talk about it, but in her sleep I've heard her. I think there was two of them. I remember the one that attacked me- Happy killed him right in front of me." Sarah said, inhaling again while the woman watched her with interest. "The other guy from what I can gather was a teacher at the high school. Point is, the people that understand are the only ones that can help. The scars you saw are from when I was fifteen, I freaked out well…anyway I ended up in a hospital. Doctors told my parents to send me to a psych ward or something, but my Dad called Asher and she came and got me. I would be dead if it wasn't for her."

"You aiming for a counsellor girl?" Gemma almost scoffed and Sarah shrugged.

"Just sayin', you get past these things if you let the right people in."

"What makes you think I'm not past this?" Gemma asked and Sarah shrugged.

"Are you?" The woman didn't answer. "You have that look. The _unfinished business _look."

"Really?"

"Yeah, last time I saw that look, Happy was heading to LA to find Asher. Needless to say, I think we both know you won't sleep at night until they're all dead." Then she turned on her heel and walked out, remembering she'd left Grumpy tied up at the side of the clubhouse with no water.

* * *

><p>AN: Well Asher and Sarah just made their entrance. What did you think? x


	57. Chapter 57

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you so much for the reviews you guys! Okay...for real this time I am going to start slowing down my updates. I have so many assignments to do!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Seven – No You Girls <strong>

_Kiss me  
>Flick your cigarette then kiss me<br>Kiss me where your eye won't meet me  
>Oh you know you know<br>I love….  
>I mean….<br>I'd love to get to know you  
>Do you ever wonder<br>No you girls  
>You never know<br>How you make a boy feel  
>-<em>_**Franz Ferdinand**_

Asher sat on the bed in the clubhouse apartment and looked around slowly. It wasn't exactly home, but it was Happys room. He'd only left a few possessions there, t-shirts, a pair of jeans and a few sets of keys sitting on the bedside table beside an ashtray. Flopping back on the bed, she heard the door come open, before there was weight on the bed. She didn't have time to move as the huge brindle dog slobbered all over her defending arm.

"Grumpy!" She shrieked, sitting up and seeing Sarah giggling in the doorway.

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Little bitch." Asher muttered, standing up and wiping the saliva off her arm. "Sit." She ordered and the dog lay down, curling himself up on the bed. She didn't have the energy to order him off the bed.

"I spoke to Gemma Teller Morrow." Sarah said, distracting Asher from the dog.

"Before or after you punched the sweetbutt?"

"Don't change the subject." Smirking, Asher headed towards the door, making sure she had the key in her pocket.

"Fine, lets go. I'm itching for a drink." She heard Sarah scoff at her side.

"Bun in the oven hurting your alcoholism old girl?" Sarah teased before stopping dead in the middle of the bar. Asher looked at Sarah before looking over at the doorway where a few Sons were sitting near the bar, her pseudo-cousin Jackson Teller being one of them.

"Don't say that too loudly." She hissed before Jax swaggered over to them.

"Heard you were in town." He said, jerking his bearded chin up, a smile on his face. Asher swore she saw Sarah mouth 'Hot' at her before she focussed on the blonde.

"Hey Jax." It had been years since she'd seen him. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and he hugged her back.

"How you doin' Asher?"

"I'm good."

"Sorry to hear 'bout Spanner, I know you two were close." He said sincerely, another jerk of his chin.

"Thanks," turning towards Sarah she gestured to the teenager. "This is Sarah Stevenson." Jax gave her one of those grins Asher knew was reserved for pretty girls. "Sare this is my cousin Jax Teller, VP."

"How ya' doin' darlin?" He asked and Sarah shrugged. "Anyway, good to see ya' darl. I got a few things to do. You make sure you talk to my mum if there's a problem."

"Got it." Asher replied and Jax nodded before gesturing to some of his brothers that had returned with him and headed towards the back of the clubhouse.

"Um…how come this is the first time I'm meeting Cousin- Jax?" Sarah hissed and Asher shrugged.

"We're not real close."

"You need to get close, ASAP." She hissed and Asher wrapped an arm around her daughters shoulders.

"What happened to guys like Hap?"

"What? Oh who gives a fuck…" Sarah trailed off, no doubt watching Jax's ass.

"Too old for you baby, 'sides he's got an Old Lady." Sarah shrugged.

"He was too blonde anyway." They both kept going out of the clubhouse, finding that most of the guests had retreated outside. "Woah, hang on, does this mean…" Asher sat up on one of the back picnic tables and folded her legs up underneath her as Sarah stood of to the side and smoked. "You're related to Gemma?" She asked confused.

"By marriage. My mum was Clay's sister." Asher inspected her nails, watching the other people loiter around the clubhouse.

"And you neglected to tell me this?" Asher turned her attention back to Sarah and rose her eyebrows, dropping her chin to get a good look at her pseudo daughter.

"It's kinda the family secret." Asher shrugged. "Some of the Tacoma Sons were the only ones that knew."

"That's just…weird." Sarah inhaled from her cigarette. "Well…I like Gemma." Asher almost choked and Sarah rose her eyebrows. "What?" Frankly it was weird that Sarah was claiming to like a woman that scared the hell out of Asher.

"Nothing…" Asher knew exactly what it was. It was the only thing that Asher and Sarah ever had conflict over, besides boys – the Club. Sarah had grown up in the club, had them watching her back from the moment she was born. It was further proven in Koziks dedication to her safety and Happy killing the man that had attacked her. Asher had been brought into the club by Blue and Liz since her father hadn't been around, and she appreciated the care they'd given her when she was younger, picking her up from parties when Riley bailed and letting her hang out in the bar until Blue picked her up. But since she'd finished high school, all the club had done was cause trouble, or maybe she'd caused trouble for the club, point was Sarah understood people like Gemma Teller and Bella, Asher didn't.

"She's a club woman." Sarah stated and Asher shrugged. "We're all club women Asher, some of us are just better at it than others." it was a teasing jab that Asher knew it was aimed at her.

"Thanks kid, glad to know I can raise an independent woman."

"I am independent, but I know when the Club takes over I don't ask questions." She had to admire the girl.

"I like to know what I'm getting into." Asher shrugged.

"You don't like taking orders." Another shrug. Sarah was right, she hated being told what to do. Growing up she'd never been told what to do and she'd had to work it out herself, she was set in her ways like that.

"Whatever." Yawning, Asher covered her mouth and looked over at Sarah who was now playing on her phone, cigarette held between two fingers, up near her shoulder. The dress Sarah was wearing was one of Ashers old ones, black with a white graphic print on the front, ending halfway down her thighs, followed by holey tights ending in brown boots. "I'm going to go and lie down." Sarah glanced up from her cell.

"You feeling okay?"

"Just tired, didn't get much sleep last night." Sarah nodded. "Speaking of not getting much sleep last night- what happened at that party?"

"Dunno." Asher watched the insistent tap of Sarahs foot on the seat below her feet. It worried her that the girl was eighteen and still having trouble with guys. She thought it might have eased like the nightmares had. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Well…you realise that talking about it is what I'm here for." Sarah nodded and Asher took that as her cue to get the hell out of there, ducking out of the eyeline of the sweetbutts as she went.

* * *

><p>Sarah watched Asher walk away. She looked tired. Sarah had noticed the small differences in the last few months, her jeans were hanging a bit looser around her usually curvy hips and her clavicle was a lot more pronounced than usual. No one besides maybe her and Happy would notice. Though, she looked a lot better than she had at Spanners funeral. It was amazing how much someone as gruff and dangerous as Happy could bring Asher back to life.<p>

Turning around Sarah looked at the boxing ring set up at the side of the clubhouse, a black boxing bag hanging nearby. Walking over she pushed the bag, watching it swing back and forth. She'd taken up self defence classes in Seattle- Ashers idea, and had gotten into a bit of boxing. It was good, it got all that frustration she had pent up out and into something physical. But it was also a lot softer than someones face without gloves on. Flexing the fingers on her right hand she winced. It had been the first person she'd ever punched. She couldn't believe the gall of that little red head bitch, hitting Asher. She was fucking lucky Sarah had hit her, because if Happy had gotten his hands on her, well the redhead wouldn't be sucking cock no more. She probably wouldn't be doing that for awhile anyway with the split lip she was sporting.

"You want me to show you how to use that?" Turning around slowly, Sarah leant up against the boxing bag and smiled at the strawberry blonde in front of her.

"Are you going to take your shirt off?" She asked, biting her lip as she roamed her eyes over the Prospect in front of her.

"Only if you want me to darlin'." He grinned back, that kind of innocent grin that not many guys had these days. He walked around her so that they were standing on opposite sides of the boxing bag. Sarah leaned around the bag and watched the Prospect do the same. "I'm Half Sack." He said and she pushed the boxing bag towards him.

"Sarah."

"You new here, _Sarah_?" he asked swinging the bag back at her.

"Sorta." She stepped out of the way and the bag swung past her. "Half Sack? Is that some kind of American Pie reference?" That cheeky grin came out again and Sarah had to admit, he was cute. Bit like the persistent red head guy from the night before. What was it with her red heads?

"No…" He wrapped his arms around the bag and stopped it swinging, "I got half my…half my scrotum blown off in Iraq."

"Iraq?"

"Yeah," He seemed proud of this accomplishment, but Sarah had been around soldiers her whole life, "I fought for this great country we're livin' in." He flirted.

"Yeah yeah, I know the drill, my brother served for three years."

"Before Afghanistan?" Sarah nodded, she was oblivious to the fact that her brother had bailed out when things got tough. It was typical Riley. Acted all tough, but he was a total pussy. "So my fighting the good cause speech won't get me anywhere?"

"Oh you thought this was me flirting with you?" Sarah asked, feigning surprise as she held her hand to her chest. "I'm just an innocent naïve little girl." She shrugged again.

"I don't think you're all that innocent." He replied, "I heard you smacked down some croweater inside." Sarah rose her eyebrows.

"Bitch had it coming." Sarah replied, catching the boxing bag that was pushed towards her.

"See? Not so innocent." Half Sack laughed and Sarah shrugged, he had a point. "So what's your deal? You got family here?"

"My Uncle's a Son."

"Oh really? Who?" Sarah opened her mouth to reply when someone stepped up behind her and shoved the bag out of the way.

"Me, Prospect." Sarah glanced up at Kozik standing over her.

"You're such a killjoy." Sarah hissed when he wrapped a hand around her arm and dragged her away from the cute prospect.

"Prospects? Really Sarah?"

"We were just talking, it's not like I was going to run off with him." She protested.

"Whatever, where's Asher?"

"Ashers having a sleep." Sarah replied as they walked back into the clubhouse.

"How's she doin' since being here?"

"You mean, are they back to fighting and fucking?" She asked, propping herself up on a barstool as Koz leaned over the bar beside her.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, they're back to normal. Sorta." Kozik shook his head and waved the bartender down for a drink. "I don't know." She sighed and leant on the bar. "They had a huge fight last night, I've never seen him walk out on her like that."

"They're alright. At least she's still alive." He said trying to reassure her and Sarah couldn't help but scoff.

"Dude, if anyone could take Hap, its Asher." Her eyes scanned the room and fell on some of the Sons walking through the door, Happy being one of them, her heart stopping in her throat as she saw the guy that walked in after him. Mohawked, a confident swagger and tattoos up his arms and on his head.

_Juice. _

The guy that she'd practically assaulted last night.

"Who you lookin' at?" Koz turned his head to look in the same direction and Sarah snapped her head back to the bar.

"No one." Kozik gave her a smirk she was sure he usually reserved for his whores. "You done?"

"Yeah yeah." He waved before leaving, wandering over to a bunch of sweetbutts…_croweaters, _the whores of SAMCRO.

Before she could make her getaway though, a large body was in front of her, blocking her escape.

"Where you goin'?" Looking up sheepishly Sarah smiled sweetly up at Happy.

"No where?" She asked.

"Where's Asher?"

"She went to have a rest." Sarah replied. "She's in the room with Grumpy." He shifted from foot to foot and Sarah was pretty sure he was unsure whether ask whatever was weighing on his mind. "Something up?" He rubbed his jaw, the stubble slightly grey with age and the strain of life.

"She say anything, bout how she's goin' with Spanner?" He asked quietly and Sarah, having known club men all her life, knew that it did something to his pride to have to ask this of her, about his girl.

"She's devastated Hap. She loved Spanner." The hand went from his chin and ran over his shaven head, showing off an array of tattoos on his arm, including two familiar words on his forearm that she'd never noticed.

_The blessed. _

Just like the words on Ashers wrist.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He went to walk past but Sarah called his name quietly, watching him turn around and raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"She'll get over it. You being there, it'll make a difference." She said quietly, knowing that even though things were bad right now, they could be a hell of a lot worse. "If it was you," She took a deep breath and told him the truth, "that was killed, she would never get over it. You've got to give her this, let her grieve…in the end you'll have her and a kid and shit will work out."

"Whatever kid." He replied but she saw a slight tug to the corner of his mouth indicating that he'd follow through before he walked off in the direction of his room. She watched him leave before turning back to the bar. Loud laughing near the doorway made her turn her head back in the direction of all the guys that had come in with Happy.

From far away she had a clear view of this _Juice_-guy. Tattooed, patched and gorgeous skin- he definitely had that little bit more than the cute Prospect that had been outside. Not to mention he was kind of sweet…in a totally inappropriate way. She could handle herself, she hadn't needed his help the night before, even if she was lost. Watching him laugh with another Son she cocked her head and smirked. He had a nice…

Snapping her head around she focussed on the bar mat in front of her. She didn't need to be thinking about some guy. Guys were a distraction when she was drinking or bored. She never intended on having them around for more than the five minutes it took her to get sick of them. She didn't let them get too permanent. Permanent brought questions, and questions brought answers she didn't want to give. And Sons always knew more than they should. That's why they were off limits. Asher had already proven that while they were great protectors, relationships with clubmen weren't easy.

Shaking a cigarette out of her packet, she lit it up and walked out of the clubhouse, trying not to pay attention to the eyes on her from the bikers near the door.

* * *

><p>For the fourth time in less than two weeks, Happy found himself leaning on the doorframe as he took in the sight of the girl asleep on the bed in front of him, the pitbull curled up at her feet. Sarahs words were replaying in his mind as he watched her chest rise and fall under her tight white tank top. It had ridden up over her stomach and the expanse of pale skin showed off her ink, and the bright pink scar on her stomach. In a few months the skin would be swollen, his child growing inside of her. He couldn't quite comprehend it. He was going to be a father.<p>

Grumpy saw him shift, and lifted his head from his paws, looking up at him and letting out a low whine. He saw Ashers sock clad feet kick gently at the dog in her sleep. He had three hours before they headed out again so he slipped off his cut and kicked off his boots and crawled onto the bed.

"What're you doing?" Ashers voice was a whisper as he lay down on his back and stared at the ceiling.

"What's it fuckin' look like?" He was spending time with her before he went and bashed the shit outta some Aryan asshole out in the woods.

"Hmm." It wasn't even a word, but he knew what it meant, it meant she was going to change the subject because she knew he didn't want to talk about it. She was smart, smart enough to know better. "So what're you just going to lay here?"

"You got a better idea, hooker?"

"I do." She bit her lip and pushed herself up to look down at him. "But what's that thing coaches say about no booze, no dope and no pussy before a big game?"

_Smartass bitch. _

"Oh yeah?" She shrugged and the sleeve of her tank top slipped off her shoulder, showing the strap of the black bra underneath. He could tell by the prominence of her clavicle that she still hadn't regained the weight she'd lost.

"Where's Sarah?"

"At the bar, checkin' out Juice." He'd notice the way the girl had been watching the intelligence officer. He'd had to squash down the protective urge to kick his brothers ass and put down the threat that if he touched Sarah he was going to start ripping people apart.

"Juice? As in…?" Asher rose her eyebrow and Happy felt his lip tug.

"Come on, get a feed before I take off." He sat up, resigned to taking care of his girl before taking care of his other needs.

"Hap…" She sighed and he had to smile slightly, looking back over at her as he slipped on his cut.

"What?"

"I was joking about the no pussy thing." She said incredulously and he leant over the bed at her sitting there. There was that familiar spark back in her eye, bit of sass to her tone. Sarah was right, she was slowly coming back to him.

"I wasn't ." He replied. "Get up. Come on." He jerked his head and she cocked her head at him, her eyes narrowing briefly, but she got off the bed anyway and quietly followed him out of the room and down the hall.

When they'd helped themselves to some food, he took her by the elbow and directed her outside into the sunlight. He needed the air and he wasn't exactly excited about introducing Asher to all his brothers. He knew she was tough and could deal with whatever shit they gave her, but at the moment, she was fragile and he still wasn't quite sure where her head was at about anything. He had to respect her like that, that's the way they worked. Not to mention, his brothers would have no hesitation making comments about Ashers tendency to send him into kill-mode.

Once out at the front of the locked down clubhouse he stepped on the parkbench seat and sat on the table, watching Asher put her plate of food beside him and take a seat on the bench, her shoulder level with his knee. He watched her pick at the food non-committedly.

"Eat." He ordered and she looked up at him, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What so no one catches you hiding me out here?" She asked and he clenched his jaw. "So you don't have to do the awkward 'this is my…ah…ah…'" She waved her fork around as she imitated his voice, apparently. His voice wasn't that low.

"You're a fuckin' smart ass bitch."

"Yeah…" A shrug. Then she took a mouthful of food and chewed. He turned his attention back to the hangarounds and croweaters over by the doorway of the clubhouse, watching the men try to chat up the sluts. Sarah Stevenson had been right last night when she'd said that no-one could compare with the blonde beside him. When she was around, he couldn't help himself, the other bitches seemed to just fade out. Even now, he was easily distracted by her eyes watching him. "When this is all over, we need to talk about this." She said pulling his attention back.

"What?"

"We haven't really talked about what we're really gonna do with me here, with the baby." He watched her blue eyes shift back and forth over his face. He fixed her gaze with his own and tried to force himself not to tell her why they hadn't talked. "I just need to know where I stand before I can really be comfortable here."

"You better get comfortable, you ain't going anywhere."

* * *

><p>AN: Naw...review!


	58. Chapter 58

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

I know I said I was backing off updates but I just purchased tickets to see the amazing Lana Del Rey in her first (and lets face it probably only) Australian Tour and I want to celebrate! YAY! So here you guys go- feel the love.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Eight – Good Hearted Woman <strong>

_She's a good hearted woman  
>In love with a good timing man<br>She loves him in spite of his ways  
>She don't understand<br>Through teardrops and laughter  
>They pass through this world hand in hand<br>A good hearted woman  
>Loving a good timing man<em>**  
>-<strong>_**Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings**_

"As what?" Asher looked up at the man above her, the man that was hiding so much from her. "As your Old Lady? As your friend? What am I meant to be?"

"What do you wanna be?"

"I know what I want- I want my family Hap." She said quietly. She looked up at his stone hard face and realised she might have said too much. More than the more rational side of her would usually say.

_Damn hormones _

"I'm sorry, it's the…" She waved at herself briefly before looking down at her food, stabbing it with her fork.

"You know who I am, baby girl, you think you can handle me bringing that shit home to you?" His voice was low, but it made Asher jerk her head up. Could she handle it? It was the one question that he'd never asked her. It wasn't about whether they could be in a relationship. They'd proven they could do that. It was about whether she could handle him bringing home the killer that he was.

That was the least of her worries.

"I ain't built to be an Old Man." He added and Asher smiled slightly.

"I'm not exactly Old Lady material either you know." She replied. She was so far off the Old Lady spectrum it wasn't funny. "But I'll give anything a go once."

"Ash…"

"Full disclosure- that's all…" She saw the wince, "once this is all over." She added for good measure.

"Aight, well I gotta head out soon – we've got a meet with the guy that hurt Gem." He said quietly and Asher bit her lip, nodding. This was his version of an answer. "I need you to stay here 'til I get back."

"Got it."

"Good." He gestured to the plate, "But I ain't leavin' til you eat all that." Asher nodded. She kind of liked this side of him. The food that she'd been repeatedly stabbing had seen better days, but she ate it anyway, getting full halfway through since the lack of a full meal in the past few weeks.

"I'm so full." Five minutes later, she pushed the plate away and looked up at Happy who through the whole thing had remained silent and avoided lighting up a cigarette.

Her man, the Tacoma Killer.

"Good, what'd Tara say?"

"Jax's girl?" Asher asked, seeing Happy nod. "She wasn't worried. Like I said the first time it was a rib shot."

"It still hurtin'?" Asher pressed her fingers to her ribs to test it and shook her head at the lack of pain. "You been to the doctor yet?"

"Not officially." She said quietly, "I've booked an appointment." She couldn't help herself, her hand went automatically to her stomach and she ran her hand over it gently. Somewhere in there a tiny little being was growing. Her own little piece of the man beside her.

"Let me know and I'll get you the cash." He said and Asher shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"Thanks."

"Yo, Hap." Someone called out and Asher ducked her head as Happy looked in the direction of the voice. The man was tall, bearded, not much older than Asher, clad in a cut. Frankly Asher thought he needed a haircut. "Uh…sorry Bro, didn't realise you were busy." Asher bent the paper plate in front of her, ready to get up when Happy got off the bench and took it from her. Asher knew that the other man had enough sense not to ask Happy who she was.

"We'll talk later." Asher said quietly, standing up and pulling the paper plate from him and heading towards the clubhouse but found herself tugged back towards him.

"Nah, Ope, me an' my girl got shit to do ." He said, letting go of Ashers wrist and Asher watched the bearded man nod.

"Your girl?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and Asher gritted her teeth, waiting out the answer like this _Ope_ was.

"Old Lady, brother. Asher- Opie." He gestured between the two and Asher gave a small nod in recognition, trying to hide her smile more than anything.

"Didn't know you had an Old Lady." Opie said sceptically and Asher felt Happy tense beside her, his ringed fingers wrapped around her arm again.

"Now ya' do."

"Nice to ah…meet you Asher." Opie said and Asher nodded again. "Clay's callin' church in twenty." It was Happys turn to nod then the bearded man was gone and Asher looked up at Happy.

"Are you okay with being here with Clay?" Her voice was just above a whisper and she knew it was a little late to ask, but she had to.

"You askin' whether I can control myself?" He growled and she shrugged.

_Yeah that was pretty much it. _

"Yeah…" She knew she was pushing it after he'd just made the declaration to his brother that she was his Old Lady, but his safety came before hers. "I just don't want you doing something that could put us in danger."

"I won't put you in danger Asher." He growled and she shook her head slowly.

"I don't mean me Hap, I mean you, Sarah, the baby. We're all in this together now." For good measure she brushed her hand over her stomach. There were times when she knew this kid was going to be useful. "Bringing Clay down on you brings Clay down on all of us." She could tell he didn't like her playing the baby card. She made a silent promise she wouldn't do it again. Happy shifted to stand directly in front of her, letting go of her wrist and bringing his large hands up to lace his fingers into her hair.

"Don't pull your shit on me girl." He growled, tugging her hair for good measure, but Asher just gazed up at him, hoping he understood how important this was for her. "I ain't one of your little toy boys." Hell, she knew that.

"I know." She said quietly, leaning back into his hands. "I just worry." It was hard to lift the heaviness of the last hours conversation.

"I gotta go to Church, I'll see ya before you leave." Asher nodded and he leant down to press his lips to hers roughly. Asher just let him do as he pleased before he pulled away, his fingers leaving her hair as he headed towards the clubhouse, pausing to look back at her. "Go make nice with the other women. The little blonde is Opes girl." He ordered and Asher wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You want me to keep quiet?" He threatened when he saw her face and Asher resisted the temptation to give him the finger in front of the clubhouse.

"Making nice." She said with a fake smile before he sauntered off. "I'd rather put a campfire out with my face." She muttered.

"That doesn't sound like fun." Turning around on her heel, Asher pasted a smile on her face for Tara.

"It sounds worse than it is." Tara gave her a sympathetic smile and Asher wondered if she looked that pathetic. Weak and fragile because she had the Tacoma killer looking out for her, because she'd walked away from a fight. "Pity'll consume you Tara." She said quietly and saw a twitch of the girls eyebrow.

"I don't pity you." Tara said quickly and Asher scoffed.

"You might want to tell your face that." She replied. She'd had the pity look a hundred times in her life. She was the little girl that had never had a mother, a drunk for a father and had always been the hangaround at Club gatherings. Now was not the time for pity. She could tell the Old Lady wanted to ask her something. "I can't answer your question if you don't ask it."

"Sorry, I just, you're not what I pictured."

"What? Not enough leather?" She asked, guessing that this wasn't her question.

"No, I just always thought you'd be butcher, maybe meaner." Asher gave the woman a small smile and gestured over to an empty table, walking over and having the woman sit beside her.

"I'm out of practise is all."

"See, and funnier." Tara gave her a real smile and Asher realised she might have actually been making a friend. She was so going to shove this in Happys face later. "But I have to ask…"

"Yeah?"

"Why Happy? I mean, Jax has always told me to stay away from him, and you don't seem like the kind of person that would put up with Happy's ways. From what I've heard, he's a borderline sociopath." Asher quirked her eyebrow. She should have been offended by the question, but she wasn't. She got why Tara wanted to know and she was right, Happy probably was a borderline sociopath. It wasn't the first time she'd thought it, she watched Dexter.

"That's the man I know and trust." Asher replied. "Just like you trust Jax." Tara nodded slowly and Asher wondered if she really did trust Jax. "He would never let anything happen to me."

"Maybe…oh here we go." Tara started but trailed off when someone exited the clubhouse Asher turned her head to see the skinny blonde walk over to them. She wished she could wear a shirt without a bra and still look perky.

"Hey guys…have you seen Ellie?"

"Ah…" Tara looked around and shook her head. "No."

"Oh…" The blonde sighed and Asher watched her stick her hands in her jean pockets.

"Oh, Lyla, this is Asher. Asher this is Lyla, Opies Old Lady." The brief thought that this was how people were going to introduce her like this soon flitted through Ashers mind as she looked up at the very young _Old Lady_.

"Hey." Lyla said quietly.

"Hi." Asher spotted Sarah walk out of the clubhouse, a young girl by her side as Grumpy pulled Sarah out of the building. "Is that Ellie?" She asked, pointing to the girl and Lyla turned around.

"Ellie! Where have you been?"

"I was with Sarah." The girl said, gesturing to the eighteen year old next to her. Asher shared a look with the teenager. "And Grumpy." The dog was more interested in Asher though and bounded forward, tugging on Sarahs arm.

"Grumpy?" Lyla looked warily at the dog that was tugging at the leash, teeth bared in a smile that probably looked dangerous.

"Sit." Asher ordered and the dog sat obediently, watching her every move. "Sarah, what've you got the fricken' pit bull out with the children for?" she scolded.

"He was bored and he's not going to hurt anyone." Sarah glanced down at the dog before wincing. "I hope." Asher turned back to the blonde Old Lady who was tugging her daughter away from the dog.

"I'm sorry Lyla. He wouldn't hurt her. He's never actually mauled anyone." She said truthfully. So far, he was just a threatening device, but she had no doubt that he could kill a person. She'd had to have a funeral for several of his toys. "Sare, leash…_now_." Getting in the wrong with the Charming Old Ladies wasn't how Asher wanted to spend this lockdown. Sarah handed over the leash and Asher tugged Grumpy over to sit in front of her.

"Lyla?" The girl couldn't have been more than twelve. "Can we get a dog like Grumpy?" The skinny blonde looked down at the girl.

"You want a gigantic pitbull?" Ellies smile got bigger and Asher shared a look with Sarah, her eyebrow raised.

"He's so cool Lyla, he can sit and lay down and roll over." Ellie explained and Asher smiled.

"Here I'll show you something." Asher gestured to the girl to come and stand beside her as she squatted down. "Grumpy." The dog sat up straight and pricked his ears at her. "Shake hands." She held her hand out palm up and the dog lifted his paw and slapped it down on her own. Asher shook it briefly before dropping his paw and holding her hand up straight. "High five." Again the dog slapped his paw on Ashers hand, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth.

"That's so cool."

"You wanna try?" Asher asked, sharing a look with the blonde who was watching on warily. The little girl nodded and came down to Ashers height and Asher showed her how to hold out her hand. "Alright, now ask him."

"Shake hands." Ellie said and the brindle dog lifted his paw into the smaller girls hand, his eyes on Asher the whole time. "Look!" Ellie grinned up at the blonde and Asher wondered if Lyla was actually related to Ellie. They didn't look similar.

Ashers eyes were drawn away from the girl when she saw Jax swagger over, Tara walking over to him. She watched him take her hand and tell her something seriously, Tara nodding before he was heading in Ashers direction, his old lady behind him.

"You busy?" He asked, looking down at Asher on the ground. Straightening up, Asher ran her hands over her jeans, still holding onto Grumpys lead.

"No."

"Good, I got a favour. You might need to change, but bring the dog. Come with me." Asher gave Sarah a reassuring smile before following her cousin, Grumpy trotting alongside of her. When they were in the clubhouse, Jax gestured her over to the empty bar. "Look I dunno what's goin' on with you and Clay but he hand selected you for this. I think he's right too- you're the best person for this job."

"Which is?"

"We gotta head out of town, meeting a coupla' guys. Don't want to be caught off guard." He said, giving her a grin as Asher processed the words. "Look, you just gotta go in, chat some guys up and tell us when they leave…and how much heat they're packing." Asher lifted her eyebrow. "Come on, your nazi-bait Asher and you can handle a gun." He smirked, looking down at the dog at her feet, "and that dog."

"You want me to do recon?"

"That's exactly what I want you to do." If he wasn't her cousin…

"How'd you convince Hap to go along with this?" Jax shrugged, looking around the clubhouse before shifting closer to her.

"Look doll, it was Clays orders, you know he's putting you in a position where you have to prove you can be loyal to the club, Happy too." He put a hand on her arm and she pulled away, she hated people touching her. "You think any of these other girls could handle this?" Asher remembered the skinny blonde from outside and reasoned that he was probably right. Clay had a point- she could handle herself when she was at the advantage.

"Okay."

"Good, you might wanna put something a little more _virgin-_friendly on." Rolling her eyes Asher nodded and headed towards Happys dorm room. SAMTAC had never put her in this position. But SAMTAC had been trying to protect her _for_ SAMCRO. Now she was here, well, she had to earn her keep. Even if it meant playing bible-loving-virgin for a bunch of seedy-colour-hating-supremists.

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><p>In the bathroom she started washing her makeup off, Asher brushed her hair and pulled it into a sleek bun, before rummaging through her duffle for something even remotely traditional. She settled on a pair of tight jeans and ballet flats with a flowery blouse and cardigan. She wasn't even sure why she packed the blouse but it worked. She tugged the sleeves down to her wrists to cover her ink and inspected herself in the dingy bathroom mirror before dashing back down to the bedroom.<p>

"Innocent enough for you?" She asked, turning to look at Grumpy who had made himself comfortable on the bed.

"Too innocent." Turning around she saw Happy leaning against the doorway behind her.

"Don't like?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and knew deep down it was more the situation than her look that was bothering him. "It's alright Killer, the clothes come off." She purred stepping up to him and tugging on his cut.

He brought his hands between them and she let go of his cut to see him holding a gun. Her gun, the nine millimetre she usually kept at home under the bed. He must have gone back to the house for it.

"They get too close, touch you in anyway, I want you to put a bullet in their heads." Asher nodded. "If you kill someone, I will fix it." He said and she nodded, because he would, because the two of them had proven they were willing to do this for the club. Maybe if they knew she was pregnant she wouldn't be in this situation, but she knew better than to tell anyone about it. She took the gun and put it in the handbag that was hanging on her arm.

"Got it."

"Come on, Juice'll get you a pre-paid." Asher grabbed Grumpys leash and headed towards the door behind Happy. A guy that would have been a few years younger than her, maybe twenty-four, and had a tattoo of a lightening bolt tattooed on either side of his short Mohawk came jogging up the hall to them.

"Hey." Big goofy grin, check. "Hap said you'll be needing a pre-paid." He held out a cheap cell phone and Asher took it warily. "Haps speed-dial one, Clay two and clubhouse three." Smart and considerate, check. Where was Sarah? She needed to be locked away, asap. "Sorry, I'm Juice by the way."

"Asher." Asher replied quietly, glancing up at Happy standing over her.

"Cool dog, what's his name?"

"Grumpy." She said giving him a smile, "Thanks for the phone." She held it up and Juice nodded.

"Anyway, I gotta go." With that, Juice bounded away and Asher looked up at Happy again.

"Coitus interuptus." She said sweetly and watched Happys brow furrow. "Nevermind." Sweeping a hand over her hair which was already starting to give her a headache, Asher tucked the phone in her handbag and tugged on Grumpys leash again. "So nazi bait?"

"Lets go." She was pushed out towards the bar and saw Bowie leaning up against it.

"Look at you." He walked over and went to hug her, but pulled back at the last minute, no doubt thanks to a look from the man behind her. "So I got chauffer duty." He said proudly.

"Well, lets go." Asher wanted to get this over and done with.

"Good, I'll meet you in the truck." Then Bowie was gone and Asher looked up at Happy again, not really sure what was going on in his mind right now.

"Be careful, please." She insisted and he nodded, neither of them really used to this kind of worry. This threat was close and certain, not like the uncertain detached possibility of threat they were used to.

"Remember what I said." Happy growled and Asher nodded.

_Shoot any danger in the head._

"I'll see ya when I get back." He didn't tug her hair like he usually would, so she took the opportunity lean up and press a kiss to his cheek before giving him a small smile before turning and walking out to meet Bowie at the towtruck.

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><p>Sarah watched Asher walk over to the tow-truck with her Uncle Bowie, Grumpy on the leash beside her. There was something weird about seeing Asher look so conservative. So covered up. The door of the clubhouse slammed and she saw Happy standing in the doorway watching her leave and wondered what she was up to that made Happy so uneasy. He glanced over at her briefly before turning around and heading back inside.<p>

"You okay?" Tara, Cousin Jaxs Old Lady asked, putting a hand on Sarahs arm, making her flinch out of habit.

"Sorry, yeah."

"You worry about them don't you?" Tara asked and Sarah looked up at the brunette.

"Nothing to worry about." She lied. She told everyone that Asher and Happy were solid. And maybe once they had been, back in Seattle, but Asher was pregnant. And that had put a chink in Ashers armour. If her and Happy fought now, she wasn't going to be able to bounce back from it like she used to. Not to mention that plenty of men walked away from their women when they were pregnant. "Asher and Hap are as solid as you can get."

"I can tell." Sarah gave the lady a small smile before standing up from the picnic bench they'd been sitting on. The guys were heading out soon and she was going to make herself scarce. Walking into the clubhouse, she looked around for Kozik, not looking where she was going, until she ran into something solid and covered in leather.

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><p>AN: what do you think? Review!


	59. Chapter 59

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for your reviews! Sorry for the delay in an update! But here it is finally! x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Nine- You won't feel a thing<strong>

_Cause I will take it on the chin  
>For you<br>So lay your cuts and bruises  
>Over my skin<br>I promise you won't feel a thing  
>Cause everything the world could throw<br>I will stand in front, I'll take the blow  
>For you<em>_**  
>-The Script<strong>_

"Oh sorry." Sarah looked up at the person she'd run into and froze. The smell of aftershave assaulted her nostrils and she felt a little woozy, in a good way as the biker looked down at her. "Juice." She gasped and he looked at her confused as if trying to work out where he knew her from. She took the opportunity to bolt. Maybe if he didn't get a chance to really recognise her, he wouldn't remember her kissing him last night, or crying. The crying part was the worst.

"Hey, hey hang on." Most guys, well all guys that tried to stop her from walking away made a grab for her, which usually freaked her out more than stopped her. But Juice, just like he had the night before, ducked around in front of her and stopped her. "Hey." He smiled at her and Sarah was forced to stop, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Hey."

"So you weren't kidding about your mums boyfriend." He asked. Sarah furrowed her brow trying to figure out what he meant before she realised he was talking about Happys bike in their driveway last night.

"Guardian." She replied and it was his turn to look surprised.

"Huh?"

"Guardian, my mother lives in Washington State, with my father." Sarah informed him, realising too late she might have given too much away. She saw his smile spread, making his eyes twinkle slightly.

_Twinkle, really?_

_Get a grip Sarah._

"So are we going to play twenty questions or you gunna tell me your name?" His hands went to his jean pockets in a similar way that the Prospect had a few hours ago.

"What's in a name?" She asked, before stepping around him and trying to walk away again, only to be blocked by him again.

"Plenty, what are you scared I'm going to ask for your number next?" He asked, "It's not like you're locked in this clubhouse or anything." She rose an eyebrow and felt her lips tug into a smile. "Okay, so who're you here with?"

"My guardian." She replied, biting her lip to stop from laughing at this stupid game they were playing. "And her asshole boyfriend."

"Juice!" The familiar gravelly voice made Sarah wince. Hadn't he been hiding somewhere angry since Asher had left with Grumpy? Juice pulled his hands out of his jeans and looked around as Happy approached.

"Hey Hap." Juice replied as Sarah looked up at her guardians asshole boyfriend. Happy assessed the situation before turning back to Juice.

"We're about to head out." He replied and Juice nodded watching Sarah though. "_Now." _Then he smacked Juice over the head. "That's for interrupting me this morning." Then the Tacoma killer stalked out.

Sarah couldn't help the full blown smile as she watched Happy walk away.

"What's so funny?" Juice asked and Sarah rose her eyebrows.

"Coitus interuptus." His smile stretched across his face as he processed what she said. "My names Sarah." She added before sneaking past him and back down the hall.

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><p>Asher looked around the construction site, the group of men that Bowie had instructed her to talk to when they'd done their initial drive-by, were standing by three pickup trucks. And quite frankly they seemed bigger from the ground. Bowie hadn't exactly been helpful on the plan front so she was going to have to improvise. She looked down at the dog standing beside her and took a deep breath. This was for Happy. She leant down and pointed to a pigeon that was pecking at the ground near the group and dropped his leash.<p>

"Get the birdy, Grumpy." The dog took off, bounding towards the ground and Asher took a deep breath and before jogging after him. "Basil!" She knew the dog didn't reply to anything but his actual name. "Basil!" She ran over to the group where the closest man reached out and snagged the trailing leash of the dog and tried to stop it running after the bird. "Oh I'm so sorry!" She gasped when she reached them, holding a hand to her chest.

"It's okay sweetheart." The man who handed her the leash had an array of tattoos up his arms reminding Asher to tug her sleeves over her own.

"Thank you so much for catching him. He's such a naughty boy." She gave him a bright smile as his friends started to wander over. There were at least twelve of them. Six of them heading her way, the other five loading wrapped bundles into the back of the pick up trucks. She wasn't an expert on guns or any kind of weaponry, but they could easily be guns. Either rifles or AKs or something like that. "Aren't you Basil?" The dog ignored her, tugging at the leash to get towards the bird. Asher had to give herself a pat on the back for her brilliance. "Gosh, I was just on my way back from the church, and he saw the pigeons."

_Gosh? _

_Happy was going to kill her._

"What were you doing at the church so late?" The man that had given Grumpy back to her asked, looking like the wolf from the old fairytales Madster had read her as a kid.

"My family just moved to town and we're looking for a new parish." She said sweetly, "I'm sorry, I'm probably holding you all up. Again thank you." She turned to walk away but the guy grabbed her arm and she had to fight every urge she had to run.

Or shoot him in the face.

"Wait a minute." He said, but as he went to lift his hand the sleeve of her cardigan slipped up, showing her ink. The mans smile got sly and Asher saw his friends get closer even if they hadn't moved quickly. "What is this? Rosary beads." He held wrist up, pushing the sleeve further down to reveal the words.

"Like I said, I really should be going." Asher pulled her hand out of his grip and stepped back. "Thanks again." The others exchanged a few chuckles and Ashers instincts told her to get the fuck out of there. She'd done what Clay wanted. She stepped back again and the man that had grabbed her followed. That's when she let the smile slip onto her face. "Grumpy." The dog was standing to attention beside her suddenly. "Shout." The dog suddenly started barking and growling at the approaching man at the end of his leash, snarling as he bounded forward towards the man. "Don't come near me." She ordered.

"Come on! Lets go." A familiar man that Asher had seen at the school a few days before walked out of the shed off to the side of the site. "What're you doing? We've got to go."

"She's one of them Weston." A man in the back called out and this Weston stepped forward. Was this the man that attacked Gemma?

"We'll deal with her later. Lets go." He looked her over and Asher wondered if he knew he was headed towards his death. Because Jax or Clay would surely kill him. The man in the front, started towards her though and Asher fixed her glare on him.

"You heard him." She bit out knowing she was treading a fine line, as the rest of his friends headed back towards the pick-ups. He took another step and Asher refused to move. "Don't do it." Grumpy was still snarling at the end of the leash and she wondered if this man thought the dog was all for show. Just as the sound of the pre-pay went off and Asher reached into her bag and flipped open the phone; the man took his chance to pounce and Asher let go of Grumpys leash, letting the dog fly into the air, jaws aimed right for the mans jugular.

"How many?" Happys voice was down the line and Asher remembered what she had been there for.

"Thirteen." A shriek from the man that was flying backwards towards the ground made Asher wince. "Make that twelve. All packing and headed your way." Then she flipped the phone shut, and stowed it in her bag. "Grumpy, heel." The dog stopped snarling down at the man whos chest he was standing on. "Heel." Grumpy barked once then jumped off the bleeding man and trotted over to Asher. She grimaced at the sight of the man grabbing at his neck. "Don't worry, he's been vaccinated for rabies." She said impishly before picking up the dogs leash and getting the fuck out of there.

Arms under the spray of the shower head, Asher scrubbed as hard as she could at her skin with a scrubbing brush she'd found under the sink. She felt dirty, like something was crawling under her skin. She wasn't sure how she'd managed to make it through the whole thing with those creepy men.

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><p>"You scrub any harder, you're not going to have any skin left." Asher looked around the shower curtain and saw Gemma Teller Morrow leaning against the basin.<p>

"I locked the door."

"Darling, none of the locks in this place work."

'_Well, thanks for the heads up, Gemma' _Asher ranted in her head and pulled the shower curtain back into place and rinsed the conditioner out of her hair. Looking around the shower curtain Asher had a towel thrust at her and she extended a wet hand and withdrew back behind the curtain.

"Why are you here Gemma?" She asked, wrapping the towel around herself and stepping out of the shower.

"You're a brave girl. You remind me of your mother." Gemma said, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and holding it to her lips before changing her mind and putting it away. "Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?" Asher asked.

"Put yourself and your baby in danger to help the club?" Asher felt her teeth grit at her step-aunts words. "Don't worry, the good doctor didn't tell me. You've never been one to pander to anyone, it struck me as strange to see you back down from a fight with a croweater, or Happy for that matter."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Asher reached for her clothes and started dressing under her towel.

"I know you're scared. You think Haps going to leave you if you mess up." Asher tugged on her jeans, and refused to look at the other woman. "Leave you to raise a kid all alone so you're going to do anything to keep him happy."

"I don't really think it's any of your business Gemma." She huffed, buttoning the jeans up and reaching for her bra and shirt , keeping her back to the woman.

"You made it your business when you sacrificed your safety to help the Club, to help me." Asher turned around once she was dressed and faced the woman, holding her hands up in surrender.

"Right, well what do you want from me Gemma?"

"You're just here for Happy?"

"Yes." Asher nodded as the old woman looked down at her, her lips pursed.

"You're not going to bring up things you shouldn't be?"

"I can keep a secret Gemma." She said, glaring back at the older woman. "I just want my family- Hap and Sarah. I'm not going to risk that by bringing up things that should be left in the past."

"You're a smart girl." Gemma said, standing up and dusting off her hands like she was finally ridding herself of something. "I won't tell Clay about the baby if you don't say anything to Hap about these things that should be left in the past."

"Yeah."

"Okay, well that about does it." She smiled and headed towards the door before pausing and looking back at Asher. "Thanks for helping the club." Then she was gone.

Asher stared at the wide open door before taking a deep breath and heading back down to Happys dorm room.

She hadn't been in there long before the sound of bikes approaching her alerted her to them being back. She ran down the hall, slowing down as she walked out into the bar and saw Kozik walk in, Happy, Donut, the Charming Prospect and the Tacoma Prospects. She couldn't help the sigh of relief that left her lips at the sight of them. Even if Happy was holding his arm up, bent at the elbow.

Happy walked over to Gemma first, saying something to her before the Queen waved to Tara and the wispy blonde Lyla and they left. Then he turned his dark eyes on her and she felt the wind knocked out of her. How was it that he still did that to her? Her heart was pounding in her ears as he approached and she waited to see what he'd do.

"Think I need to get my fuckin' shoulder pinned." He growled when he reached her and she realised his shoulder had popped out from when he'd dislocated it.

"I'll pop it back in for you." She said quietly and he nodded, following her back into the room. Shutting the door behind them, Asher flicked the lock and double checked it before gesturing for him to sit and scrambled onto the bed behind him. "Ready? On three." She whispered in his ear as she put her hands in the right place, "One, two…"

"Fuck, you get me every fuckin' time." He hissed, leaning forward on his knees before coming back up and straightening up.

"You always tense up, I can't do it if you're fighting me." She answered, smoothing her hands over his shoulders. She couldn't help herself as she ran her hands up his neck, kneading her thumbs into the tense muscle. The low moan that came from him made her press up against his back, replacing one of her hands with her lips. "You're so tense."

"You're not making it better babe." He growled but didn't move, only dropping his head to the side to allow for better access.

"I'm trying to help you relax, _killer_." She replied, grazing her teeth along the lobe of his ear.

"Don't you wanna know what happened?" He asked and she shrugged.

"You're here and you're safe, I don't need anything but that." She answered into his ear before pressing a kiss to his neck. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not if you're gunna keep that up." He growled and Asher grinned but then he pulled away and stood up, turning to face her. "You did a good job earlier. No one else coulda handled it like you did." He said sternly and Asher sat up straight on her knees.

"I did what you asked."

"For once." She couldn't help the smile on her face as he stepped forward again and let her tug on his cut, stretching up to catch his lips. His stubble scratched her skin but she didn't care. The hormones were way out of control by then, and all she wanted was him. She slid her hands under his cut and eased it off, never leaving his lips and being careful of his shoulder before she gently undid the zip on his hoodie.

"First time for everything." She said huskily as she slipped it off his shoulders, again mindful of his shoulder. "I did let Grumpy maul some guy." She added and felt him smile into her lips. He put a hand on her hip and sat down on the bed, pulling her around to straddle his lap. "That was kind of fun." She saw the smile tug at the corner of his mouth and realised that they were more similar than people realised. She brought her hand up to brush her thumb over the bruise that was forming on his cheek, he winced when she put pressure on it but didn't pull away. "You want some ice?"

"For my face?" He growled, his hands on her hips.

"And your shoulder." She said, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "and maybe a cold shower." She whispered, leaning into his chest and he squeezed her hips.

"Think you can take care of all three baby girl." His voice was raspy and Asher felt a shudder through her body as she pressed up as close as she could to him without giving into him.

"I think I can too." She whispered, kissing him, sucking his bottom lip and rolling her hips into his. Pushing him back until he was lying flat on the bed with his feet still flat on the floor, Asher leant over him and smiled before pressing her lips to his again. Mindful of his shoulder, she shuffled back and pushed his t-shirt up over his abs, and he lifted himself off the bed enough so that she could pull it over his head, following quickly with her own.

* * *

><p>Happy's head was resting on Ashers chest, her heart beating slowly under his ear, her cleavage still in the confines of her black lacy bra obstructing his view of his hand moving back and forth slowly across the expanse of soft skin on her stomach. His shoulder ached with the movement, but he kept it up anyway. The warmth her skin was radiating into his cheek was soothing the bruise as well and hell, for some reason he just couldn't get enough of this woman. He felt blunt nails rake over his scalp and down the back of his neck as she woke, and knew that he should move so he wasn't in such a vulnerable position when she came too. But no matter how much he willed himself to, he couldn't move. The combination of her heart and her nails on his skin quietened the noise in his head and he closed his eyes and felt himself drift off only to be jerked awake again when she moved.<p>

"Hap." She whispered in his ear and he jerked up, hissing as he put weight on his shoulder. "Sorry." She gave him an apologetic smile and he watched her shift out of the bed, tugging on his t-shirt before slipping quietly out of the room, taking her toiletries bag with her. Happy opted to lie back down and close his eyes, his hand resting in the warm patch where she'd been lying.

A few minutes later the click of the door let him know she was back before she lifted the covers and crawled back into the bed, the smell of mint toothpaste assaulting his nose. He shifted his arm to pull her into him so her back was pressed up against him, and gently nipped at the back of her neck, soothing it with an opened mouth kiss.

"You aight?"

"Just morning sickness." She said quietly and he squeezed her gently. It was pretty fucked up that she was so sick because he'd knocked her up. "Without the morning part apparently." She groaned and he rubbed her stomach.

"It gunna last?"

"Hope not." She mumbled and he knew she was falling asleep again. "Night Hap."

"Yeah, night girl."

* * *

><p>It was Juices turn to come back to the clubhouse and have a sleep, Tig not far behind him. The rest of the club were staking out the police station, taking turns to come back and sleep after the past few days had deprive them all.<p>

Parking his bike he pulled off his helmet and headed towards the clubhouse, running his hand over his head wearily. He was looking forward to getting back into his room and sleeping in his bed. He was stopped however when he shuffled into the empty clubhouse and saw the girl sitting on the pool table, her legs crossed on the green felt as she dealt out cards.

_Sarah. _

He took a moment to watch her as she lifted a glass of amber liquid to her lips before she placed it back down and tipped her head to the side, so that he could see she had her iPod headphones in. With all the shit going on with Weston and Zobelle, he hadn't had a chance to ask anyone about the girl that had suddenly turned up at the clubhouse. She lifted a card and shifted it across the table and he realised she was playing solitaire. He wondered if it was a habit from spending too much time alone. She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear, flashing the ink on her wrist and Juice decided then and there he wanted to get to know that girl. The flashing blue eyes and the coy smile did something to him that he hadn't felt since he was a teenager.

Deciding the only way he was going to get anywhere was to try and play her game he walked over and stood in front of the pool table, watching her lips move as she silently sung along to whatever tune was playing on her iPod and she lifted a card before realising he was standing there.

"Holy shit!" She jumped back and he smirked as she clutched at her heart before yanking her earphones from her ears. "What the fuck are you doing?" She snapped and he felt his grin grow wider.

"What're you still doing up?" He asked when she finally stopped swearing to herself.

"Minding my own business." She snapped but he could tell she was starting to calm down. She clearly didn't like being startled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya' darlin'."

"Tell that to my heart." She growled wrapping her earphones around her iPod and packing up the packet of Hustler themed playing cards and wrapping a large rubber band around them. "Thought you guys were staking out the police station?"

"Taking shifts to sleep. So what're you still doing up?" She seemed to consider not answering him, but seemed to change her mind, taking a long sip of her drink.

"I have insomnia, it takes a lot more whiskey to get me to sleep." She replied. What was that saying about an enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a burrito or something? "So shouldn't you be sleeping or something?" She asked and he shook his head.

"I'm up for a nightcap." He swore he saw a smile tug at her lips as she patted the felt beside her.

"Bottles on the bar." She jerked her head and he walked over and grabbed it before scrambling up to sit beside her on the pool table, hanging his legs over the side. He took the moment while she poured two glasses to study her. She was pretty, bit like that girl Happy had had with him earlier, Asher.

"So Sarah from Washington State whos an insomniac and can finish a game of solitaire in five minutes," He gave her a smile as she watched him with narrowed eyes, "what brings you to Charming?"

"I'm like a magnet to trouble." She replied and he shook his head. Nah, she wasn't. She was all talk. She could probably smoke like a chimney, drink like fish and curse like a sailor, but there was something about Sarah that made him certain she wasn't all she made out to be.

"I don't believe you." He admitted and her eyebrows lifted, making the blue orbs seem even bigger.

"You don't know me."

"You don't know me either." He replied, letting her have her fun for a minute.

"It seems that way." Taking a sip of his drink Juice watched her deal out the cards again, adorned in pictures of naked women. "You any good at Speed?"

"Yeah, I go alright." That coy smile came out to play again and he wondered what her real smile looked like.

"I'm sure you do."

* * *

><p>AN: What do you think? I thought we might just remember what Asher had been like back in her teenager days when she was a little less affected by everything- hence letting Grumpy maul some guy. Anyways review and let me know what you think! x


	60. Chapter 60

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Total lols at Chibs (Tommy Flanaghan) being on an episode of Law and Order SVU going on about the awesomeness of Twilight. Don't worry he's still a badass.

This chapter is brought to you by the premiere of Bikie Wars: Brothers in Arms on television! So far so very good. Based on the true stories on the conflict in Australia over the last thirty years. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! They interviewed all the actual members before it premiered and it was really interesting.

p.s I cannot remember and am too lazy to google the real singer of "Everybody wants to rule the world" but Andy Bull did an amazing cover last year for Triple J's Like a Version. Freaking amazing. Alright I'm done now.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty – Everybody wants to rule the world <strong>

_Welcome to your life  
>There's no turning back<br>Even while you sleep  
>We will find<br>You acting on your best behaviour  
>Turn your back on Mother Nature<br>Everybody wants to rule the world  
><em>_**-Andy Bull  
><strong>_

Asher woke with her head resting on a colourful canvas of ink. Ever since she could remember, the effect of ink on skin had mesmerised her. She remembered being in arms that were full of colour and always thinking that that's what being in her fathers arms had been like. But in her early teens she'd learnt that those arms had been that of her uncle AJs, sometimes Clays, sometimes her Uncle Tonys. When she'd been a teenager, it had been Spanners arms that had been covered in colour that had reminded her what real love had felt like. And ever since she'd been eighteen it had been Happys skin that had had her mesmerised. The same skin that was beneath her head now as she listened to the steady thrum of his heart, remembering waking last night to him in a similar position, his hand resting on her stomach.

At the thought of her stomach it started to churn again and she scrambled out of the bed and out the door, skidding down the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door before falling to her knees and throwing up into the toilet. Twice in less than, she lifted her hand and looked at the heavy watch she'd forgotten to take off and saw it was three in the morning. It had been two hours since she'd last been sick.

Rubbing her stomach she reasoned maybe some toast would make her feel better. Staggering up she walked down the hall, tugging at the hem of Happys t-shirt. Heading towards the kitchen she paused looking at the scene in the bar.

"You little…" She hissed, walking over to the pool table where there was one fully dress biker stretched out along the green felt, a bottle of Jack in his hand and of course Sarah, lying beside him, her head on his stomach. "Hey!" She snapped, jerking Sarahs leg. "Sarah, wake up." The teenager started, sitting up quickly as the biker beside her woke as well. "What're you doing?"

Sarah looked around at the scene before shrugging.

"Sleeping?" Asher pinched the bridge of her nose. Sarah looked sheepishly down at the guy sitting beside her and Asher couldn't help her smirk.

"Looks like it." Sarah winced and Asher rose her eyebrow. "Why don't you go to bed Sare." She said tiredly and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"I'm totally not sleeping in there."

"Go and wake Koz up then." Asher said flippantly, watching the biker who was pulling on his boots.

"I gotta head back, you can sleep in my room." Two sets of raised eyebrows turned on the biker.

"I'm not letting her sleep in your room." Asher scowled. Being in bikers rooms always led to trouble.

"Come on Asher, it's not like he's going to be there and I'm a grown up now." Asher spun her head around to glare at the eighteen year old. In a few months she'd be heading to college and she'd be messing around with all kinds of guys…it wasn't like Sarah was going to get attached to this biker, Sarah didn't really get attached to any guys these days. Taking a deep breath and giving the biker a pointed look Asher shrugged.

"Fine, whatever, I'm going back to bed." Turning around she headed back to bed, hoping to get a few more hours sleep with Happy.

* * *

><p>"Guess it's a good thing I didn't tell her you kissed me." Juice said, smirking once Asher was out of earshot and Sarah winced, "Twice." The memory of them sitting on the pool table when she'd leant up to kiss him was foggy and she wasn't really sure what had possessed her to do it.<p>

"You wish." She replied.

_Deny _

_Deny _

_Deny _

"Back to playing coy?" It was something that she remembered Spanner always saying to Asher.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" She asked and he grinned at her, a big wide grin that showed off all his pearly white teeth.

"Yeah," He straightened his cut and pulled a key from his pocket, "my rooms down the end of the hall on the left."

"Thanks." He handed her the key and she held it tight in her hand.

"I'll see you later, _Sarah_." Then she watched his reaper clad back saunter away, cocking her head to watch the way his ass moved in his jeans.

_He did have a nice ass._

Uncurling her fingers she held the key up in front of her face and smirked. Like taking candy from a baby.

A very hot baby…with a nice ass.

Plucking the bottle of whiskey from the pool table and packing up her card deck that she'd won from Donut on a hunting trip a few years ago, she sauntered down the hall to Juices room. The smell of that spicy aftershave he wore was the first thing she noticed and the blue light from a laptop sitting on a desk in the corner. The room was messy, but not dirty and the bed had a large blue comforter on it. She couldn't help herself, she kicked off her boots and lay down on the bed, wrapping the comforter around herself and closed her eyes, the events of the day, finally taking their toll.

* * *

><p>"Hey, girl, wake up." Asher squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore the voice. "Asher." Happy barked and she snapped her eyes open and looked up to see Happy leaning over the bed, completely dressed, smelling fresh from the shower. Lifting her hand she looked at her watch and saw it was nearly nine am.<p>

"What's up?" She asked, pushing herself up to a sitting position, her back aching from the shit quality of the mattress.

"Gotta head out." She nodded. "Don't go anywhere. I mean it, Mayans are here." Asher nodded more vehemently. She understood his orders.

"Yep."

"Good girl, I'll catch ya." He went to leave, but he surprised her and leant down and pulled her up to his lips. "Stay here." He ordered again and Asher nodded, watching him leave.

Day two of lockdown was about to begin.

Asher was fully dressed in jeans and flannelette shirt when she walked out into the bar, pulling her hair up into a bun as she looked around for Sarah, seeing Lyla the skinny blonde that belonged to the big guy, Opie, walk in. She remembered Gemma having taken the blonde and Tara with her when she left last night.

"Have you seen Gemma?" Asher asked, walking over to the blonde.

"Yeah, her and Tara had some errands to run." Then she wandered over to the three children sitting on the couch looking up at an old man in a denim cut. From her spot near the bar she could see the old mans patches, one of them ready 'First Nine', just like Clays cut, just like Uncle Toms and John Tellers. That old man was one of the only club members still alive that had known her parents. She saw the old man look up and see her, his brow furrowing and his mouth opening in surprise before she turned around and headed towards the kitchen.

Walking in the sweetbutts that had been milling around all stopped and stared at her. It was amazing what twenty-four hours could do.

"As you were." She muttered as she turned around and walked back out, a smile on her face. She couldn't help herself. It was nice to scare the holy shit out of a few croweaters. She didn't know which room was Juices so finding Sarah wasn't really an option. She was just about to head outside to find where Sarah had tied Grumpy when someone spoke, sending chills down her spine.

"Matilda?" Turning around slowly she looked at the old man. He must have followed her back there after seeing her in the bar. Getting a good look at her face he must have realised his error and held up his hand. "Sorry, sweetheart." He coughed before continuing, "thought you were someone else."

If she'd had any self preservation she would have ignored him and let him go. But like everytime someone spoke her mothers name she wondered if they would be able to tell her something that could explain the presence of the club in her life. Explain to her why she felt like it was more than just a hit that had brought the Mayans after her a few years ago, why they'd waited twenty-one years to kill her father.

"Molly was my mum." She called after the old man and saw him pause, turning around to face her.

"Morrows name all their girls Matilda." He said, looking confused and Asher shrugged.

"My names Asher." Realisation dawned on the old man and he nodded as if fully understanding. He clearly knew most of her family. "You knew my parents?"

"Yeah I knew your parents. A long time ago." Asher bit her lip, wondering if it was out of line for her to ask about them. "Would you like to accompany an old man outside for some air, sweetheart?" He didn't wait for her reply, just wandered off and Asher followed.

They took a seat outside across from each other and the old man produced a clear bottle of liquid and unscrewed the top.

"Tequila?" he asked holding it out to her and Asher shook her head. "Huh, you sure you're your fathers daughter?" Years of watching her back had taught her to read facial expressions and the old man seemed to think about what he'd said, and she knew he was about to try and retract the comment, "I was just joking. You know you look so much like your mother."

"People that knew her always say that."

"No-one ever really _knew _Molly. Even Frank, I always remembered her being that girl that you thought you had figured out…but she only ever let you know what she wanted you to know." He fixed his watery blue eyed gaze on her. "I get the feeling that was an inherited trait." He took a long sip of Tequila and coughed again. "And she loved to read. I remember her quoting Romeo and Juliet to Frank one day and he had the most perplexed look on his face. I think that was when he realised he didn't know her as well as he thought." He chuckled at the thought and took another long sip of tequila. "Its funny that all these years later, here you are in Charming- you'd have to be the same age as her nearly." He said nostalgically and Asher nodded. She was a few months older than her mother had been when she'd been killed, not a thought she liked dwelling on. "Did Clay bring you back here?"

"No." She said quietly and watched as the old man looked down at his hands and looked up again.

"A son?"

"Like mother like daughter." A Son, just like her father had almost been.

"Hmph." He took another long sip of alcohol and Asher watched the liquid slosh back and forth in the bottle. "A Son. Wonders will never cease." He chuckled again and Asher watched the old man with interest. "What ever happened to Frank?"

"He was died seven years ago." She replied, wondering how he didn't know this bit of information.

"I'm sorry. And Bill?"

"Huh?" What did Bill Hayden have to do with anything?

"Your uncle Bill? He prospected here until Molly died and you all moved to Tacoma." Her Uncle Bill had almost been a Son as well. How on earth did he get into the police force with a criminal record?

"Oh. Um…he's the Sherriff in Tacoma." She bit her lip and watched the old man. He nodded and took another sip. Looked like the Haydens weren't the only ones with a weakness for the bottle.

"Shoulda seen that one coming." The rumble of motorcycles made them both stop talking and look over as the gates at the front of Teller-Morrow were pulled open and the group of bikes idled in, parking side by side.

Clay Morrow was the first one to walk over to the Clubhouse. Asher hadn't seen him since he'd warned her out of Tacoma nearly three months ago. He watched her with a serious look on his face as he approached, turning to the old man.

"We're headed to church." He said and the old man nodded, giving Asher a salute with his bottle before following his President. Why did she get the feeling that the old man and Clay knew something that she didn't? Turning around she searched the club members for Happy and saw him striding towards her.

"What'd Piney want?" The old man finally had a name.

_Piney _

"He knew my parents." She said, standing up and looked up at him.

"He's old he knows a lot of people." He growled and Asher shrugged. She didn't miss the easy dismissal of the mention of her family. Happy didn't like secrets- and the Morrows and Haydens had a lot of them. Asher only knew but a portion of them.

"Well he's the only one that will talk about them, so I made the most of it."

"We gotta go to church." He reached out and cupped her face with his large ringed hand, his thumb holding her chin up. "Don't let what that old man said get to you, kay?" she nodded. Getting emotional about her family here in this clubhouse was dangerous. There was too much history with her family there, especially when there was a threat of Mayans close by.

"I won't." He nodded and disappeared back into the clubhouse. A twitch in her hand made her look down and saw it was shaking. Holding it up to her face she sighed as the limb involuntarily shook.

_Withdrawal symptoms. _

Usually she'd have a drink to calm the shakes, but that wasn't an option anymore. Her first priority was her child. Sticking her hands in her jean pockets she went to walk over to the clubhouse door when her other child walked out, wearing a pair of jeans and sneakers, along with a cut up SOA t-shirt, showing off her flat stomach. She looked refreshed. Must have had a nice sleep after crashing on the pool table with the cute Son.

"So, Juice?" She said when the teenager reached her.

"We were just talking." Sarah replied, shaking a cigarette out of her packet before changing her mind and putting it away. It was kind of funny how people were doing that a lot around her at the moment. She hadn't even seen Happy light a cigarette in a couple of days.

"Didn't look like that to me." She replied and Sarah shrugged.

"Nothing looks how it is to you." Asher rose her eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest and looked pointedly at Sarah. "He was just being nice."

"I'm sure he was."

"You realise not all of them are like Happy, most of them are actually nice guys." Asher was well aware of that. Spanner had been one of the nice ones, her cousin Jax was too. Happy had his moments, but being nice just wasn't his thing.

"Hmm." Asher shrugged and Sarah grinned.

"I'm going to find Grumpy. " Then as quickly as she appeared, Sarah was gone and Asher was left alone. She was about to go and sit in the sun when she felt her stomach churn and had to make a dash back into the clubhouse bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her and throwing up in the toilet…again.

"Third time today…great." She muttered as she washed her face and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like shit. She really needed to start taking better care of herself she told herself as she rinsed her mouth again and went in search of her toothbrush. Once she was back in the bathroom she started to squeeze the toothpaste onto the brush, but her hand couldn't hold it still. "Fuck!" Throwing the toothbrush in the sink she took deep breaths to try and calm herself down. That was the only way she was going to get through this. She had to stay calm. "Breathe Asher." She told herself when she felt her stomach start to churn again.

Any normal person wouldn't be going through this, and she shouldn't have been because it had been three weeks since she'd so much as looked at a bottle. The morning sickness must have brought it on. Taking another deep breath she reached down and picked up her toothbrush and tried again, taking deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth.

Spitting and rinsing she walked down the hall and put the toothbrush back in her bag in Happys room before heading out into the main bar. It was packed again, people waiting around to see what happened next. Asher walked over to the bar and asked the girl behind it for a glass of water and smiled her thanks when the girl gave her a polite smile and handed her the drink. Once seated she took a long sip of the water. Glancing down at her watch as she drank she hoped Happy wouldn't be long, maybe she could get a Prospect to follow her to the hospital to see a doctor.

Leaning onto the bar she tried to stop her hands shaking by flexing her fingers and leant her head down on the wooden top.

"It's gunna blow when they're all gone." Asher closed her eyes and tried to tune out the croweaters gossiping behind her. "I'm gunna get out, I'm not hanging around when there's no Sons. If they're all in jail what're we supposed to do?"

_Shut up you stupid whore._

It felt like the croweater was screeching right in her ear.

"Weird time to be taking up and Old Lady." Asher went rigid as she heard the girls next words. "I mean, does she realise that Happys going to jail along with the rest of them in like a month." Spinning around in her chair just as the doors of church opened and the Sons stepped out, Asher was staring wide eyed at the croweaters that had been standing right behind her. Then the man that had caught her eye on the other side of them.

_Son of a bitch_.

Happy must have seen the horrified look on her face, because seconds later he was standing in front of her.

"You aight?" He asked and looked down at her seriously.

"No." She gasped. "No, I'm not alright."

"Asher?" He grabbed her arm, his grip tight, but she couldn't focus on it. All she could focus on was the man in front of her. He'd lied to her again. She'd trusted him, moved to Charming for him, was having a baby with him, and in a month, he would be gone. "Is it the…?" he gestured to her and she tried to pull away.

"You can't even say it can you?" She said quietly, "That the guilt getting to you Hap, knowing that you're not going to be there to play daddy to your kid?" She asked and felt his grip tighten on her arm. His jaw was clenched, and they were about two seconds away from having the whole Club watching their domestic.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

"I need time." She replied, getting her arm out of his grip. "I'm going back to the house." She amazed herself with her self control. She really did want to punch and hit and scream at him but she managed to keep her voice quiet and her eyes on him. "I'll see you later." Turning her back on him she walked away, knowing that with the sound of more bikes returning, that he wouldn't come after her. The threat was all but neutralized. There was no way that at this point in time they didn't know exactly where the men they were chasing were, and had a plan to kill them. She was as good as safe.

Packing her bag she slung it over her shoulder and sent Sarah a message, telling her she'd gone back to the house and she had to stay there until lockdown was over. She knew Sarah wouldn't ask questions.

Firing up the Camaro, Grumpy sitting beside her, some patched member pulled open the gate and she pulled out of the lot, on her way home. She needed to think about this rationally.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay if you hated it or ANYTHING please let me know in a review! Thanks for reading =D x


	61. Chapter 61

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-One – Born to Die<strong>

_Feet don't fail me now  
>Take me to the finish line<br>Oh my heart breaks  
>Every step that I take<br>Walking through the city streets  
>Is it by mistake or design<br>I feel so alone on a Friday night_

_Don't make me sad_  
><em>Don't make me cry<em>  
><em>Sometimes love is not enough<em>  
><em>And the road gets tough<em>  
><em>I don't know why<em>  
><em>Choose your last words<em>  
><em>This is the last time<em>  
><em>Cause you and I<em>  
><em>We were born to die<em>

_**-Lana Del Rey**_

**Charming, CA**

Asher paced back and forth in the kitchen of the little house.

_Her house. _

_Their house._

It was the house Happy had gotten when he'd asked her to stay in Charming with him. When he'd told her she could keep the baby and he would stay with her. That was the only thing stopping her tearing out of that godforsaken town and not looking back. If he hadn't asked her to stay things would have been a lot different.

But this was a huge betrayal on his part.

He'd made a lot of promises he had no intention of keeping.

She continued to pace, glad she'd locked Grumpy in the backyard where he couldn't sit there and whine at her agitation. She didn't even know why he was going to jail. Somehow she had a feeling that knowing would only make it worse. The pain she felt with each beat of her heart intensified with the thought and she had to stop pacing to lean over the sink and take deep heaving breaths.

When she could finally focus she decided she really needed to occupy herself with some meaningless task while she thought about this. She needed to keep herself busy. There were still two boxes unpacked, sitting on the kitchen table so she set about doing that. Ripping off the tape on the one marked 'Misc' she looked in at the contents. There in front of her was the contents of her liquor cabinet.

_Just great. _

Picking up the bottles, she carried them over to the sink and put each one down on the draining bench before running the water.

"Here goes." She muttered, unscrewing the lid of the first one and pouring the amber liquid down the sink. She watched the water wash away the remains of the alcohol before starting on the next one. Unscrewing the lid she blinked away the fuzziness in her vision as it slipped out of focus. Lifting the bottle, she shook her head trying to focus again. She stepped back and squeezed her eyes shut, snapping them open when she heard smashing glass. Looking down at the floor through her still unfocused vision she saw the glass shattered all over the tiled floor.

"Shit." She leant down to pick up the pieces, feeling lightheaded and her body seemed to ignore her will to straighten and she felt her foot slip before the tiled floor seemed to fly at her and everything went black.

* * *

><p>"Hap!" Sarah ran out of the clubhouse, thankful to see her uncle still all in one piece. She knew something had happened with him and Asher, thanks to the cryptic text she'd gotten a few hours ago. "What happened?" The clubhouse was in a frenzy, something had happened after they'd all left to follow the Mayans.<p>

"Hey, hey cool it, kid." He said holding his hands up. "Look, I need you to go home, check on Asher and get her to call me, kay? Then stay there." Sarah nodded. "I'll get one of the boys to take ya." He lifted his head and looked around at his brothers and Sarah swore she saw him smile. "Juice!"

_That would explain it._

The overenthusiastic, but very cute biker headed towards them and Sarah couldn't help but notice the lack of enthusiasm in his gait.

"Hap? What happened?" She asked quietly, before Juice reached them.

"Jax's sons been kidnapped." Sarah felt sick. "Prospect…" he seemed to consider his choice of words, considering the horrified look that must have been on Sarahs face, "Half Sack got killed. Keep Juice busy a coupla hours, they were good friends." Sarah nodded slowly. "We'll get him back kid."

"I know." She coughed out. Then Happy did something she had never expected. He reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. She took a deep breath and inhaled the smell of cigarettes and aftershave.

"Promise." Sarah nodded and Happy let her go. "Get Asher to call me as soon as you get there." He ordered and Sarah nodded again before he turned around and walked away. It wasn't the first time she'd seen Happy looking shaken, but it still unnerved her.

"Hey." Juice was standing beside her as Happy walked away and she turned to face him.

"Sorry about your friend."

"Yeah…" He rubbed a hand over his Mohawk and Sarah knew he was hurting. It wasn't so long ago Asher had lost her best friend. "So, where am I takin' you?"

"Home." She said quietly and walked beside him as they made their way over to the bikes.

When Juice pulled into the driveway beside Ashers Camaro Sarah slid off the back and handed him his helmet.

"You wanna come in?" He looked sheepishly between the car and the house and Sarah shrugged. "You don't have to."

"Nah, come on." He kicked the stand down on the Dyna and swung his leg over before following her towards the door. Sarah turned the doorknob and made a mental note not to tell Happy that Asher had left the front door unlocked. It was very unlike her. Clearly she had something on her mind.

"Asher?" She called out, hearing Grumpy bark from the backyard. "Ash?"

"Maybe she's not home." Juice said shutting the door behind them and Sarah shook her head.

"She wouldn't leave the house." She wouldn't disobey Happys orders if he'd let her out of the Clubhouse. "Asher?" Walking towards the kitchen she stopped and glanced down the hall seeing Ashers bedroom door was open so she wasn't sulking. "Hello?" Walking into the kitchen she saw the boxes open on the kitchen table before she walked around the bench and stopped dead in her tracks. "Asher!" She went to slide to her knees when she saw the glass all over the floor and the blood on Ashers head and hands.

"What is…" Juice ran around to her side of the kitchen bench and stopped as well. "I'll call an ambulance." Sarah nodded and stepped over the glass, hearing it crunch underneath the soles of her sneakers as she leant over shook her guardian.

"Asher?" She squatted down, careful not to touch any glass or hurt Asher. "Ash?" She asked weakly shaking her shoulder. When the blonde didn't stir she reached for her neck and checked for a pulse, feeling the steady thrum underneath her fingers, like Asher had taught her. Standing up she assessed the bleeding cuts on Ashers head as Juice jogged back in.

"Paramedics are on the way." The sound of sirens started as soon as the words left his mouth and Sarah thanked god that Charming was so damn small. "She breathing?"

"She's got a pulse. Should we move her from all the glass?" Sarah asked, choking over the words as the adrenaline wore off and she turned to Juice, pleading with him to tell her what to do.

"Nah, better leave her. " He stepped over the glass and reached down to look at the gash on Ashers head. "Where'd all this fuckin' glass come from?" before Sarah could answer, a knock at the door announced the arrival of the Paramedics. "I got it." Juice took off out of the kitchen to the front door and seconds later, two men in blue overralls came in.

"What happened?" One of them asked and Sarah couldn't answer, she felt numb. She wondered if this was what Happy felt like when he pulled her from the bathtub all those years ago, or when he carried Asher and her to safety that night in Tacoma.

"We just came in and she was lying there." Juice spoke for her, pulling Sarah over to his side and out of the way.

"Do you know if she's been drinking?" The paramedic asked and Sarah felt her focus come back, along with the stench of whiskey on the tiles.

"No…" Surely Asher wouldn't risk the baby like that. "No, she's pregnant she wouldn't do it."

"Does she usually drink?" Sarah looked up at Juice, wondering if she should tell the truth. Admit that Asher had a drinking problem.

"She hasn't touched a drop since she found out." Sarah swore. "She wouldn't do that to the baby." She could feel the sobs start to shake her body and a warm arm wrapped around her as the paramedics put Asher onto a stretcher and took her towards the waiting van.

"You want a lift to the hospital?" Juice asked as they loaded Asher into the van and Sarah shook her head.

"No, I'm going in with her." Juice nodded and headed towards his bike as Sarah climbed up into the van beside one of the paramedics and held Ashers hand. When she felt the ambulance take off, it jolted her and she remembered she needed to call Happy. Pulling her phone out, she dialled his number and waited on with frustration as it rang.

"Yeah?"

"Hap?" Sarah could hear the sob in her voice. "Hap, you need to come to the hospital, its Asher." He didn't say anything, all Sarah heard was the dial tone as he hung up on her.

* * *

><p>Happy remembered the last time he'd been to a hospital was when Chibs had been released after Zobelle had blown him up. But it felt like it was only yesterday that Sarah had tried to kill herself. Or when Asher had been shot by Ainsley. Both times his girls had been left with scars that had followed them for the following years.<p>

He shouldn't have let her leave lockdown. But Koz's words were echoing in his mind. For some reason he let his brother get in his head, make him think about where him and Asher stood, whether she was there just because of the baby, not him. Flashes of Ashers hurt face when he'd left her countless times, the delight and lust that she always expressed when he was with her. He didn't know how he could have doubted her. He should have tied her stubborn ass to a chair in the clubhouse.

But he knew she wouldn't leave without a fight, and knowing that smart bitch she would have had an argument that would back up her plan. She had been safe, Zobelle was watched, and fuckin' AJ Weston was as good as dead. One thing he was thankful for was that the stubborn bitch didn't like meeting new people and had successfully avoided finding out from anyone about the jail time until towards the end. That and sheer luck. But now, well she shoulda just stayed at the clubhouse where she could be locked in a room and smashed things and screamed at him. At least she couldn't get to a bottle locked in his room.

Pushing through the doors, he found the emergency waiting room where Sarah was sitting curled up on a chair, beside Juice who was sitting there solemnly. He hadn't really had a chance to put the fear of god into the kid about Sarah, but Juice was a good guy. He'd look out for Sarah for the meantime.

"Juice take the kid home." He said when he reached them. He didn't want Sarah here when he found out what had happened to Asher but that didn't stop her protesting. "I'll call ya when I know."

"But Hap…" Sarah started to protest, standing up with Juice following.

"Go home Sarah, Koz is waitin' for ya." This was his problem. It was his Old Lady. "I mean it kid." Sarah looked like she wanted to fight him but she was a club woman, she knew where she stood in this situation.

"Fine." Sarah stalked out of the waiting room and Happy gestured to Juice to follow the little bitch before heading to the reception desk.

"I wanna see Asher Hayden."

* * *

><p>Asher was sitting up on the bed, her hand wrapped and a plaster on her head when she saw Happy pull back the curtain and stalk in. Her head throbbed and she possibly had a concussion, but the feeling that filled her when she saw he was the first person to come for her was unbearable. The incomprehensible need to have him hold her and tell her it would be okay.<p>

"Were you drinkin'?" He growled as he stood back, his arms crossed across his chest and she shook her head slowly.

"I was pouring it down the sink." She replied, her hand going to her stomach. The list of things the doctor had told her had resulted in her passing out on the kitchen floor was extensive.

_Exhaustion _

_Dehydration _

_Withdrawal_

_Morning sickness _

_Anxiety _

"I'm not stupid." She replied quietly and he nodded, walking over and sitting down in the chair beside her bed. "I'm sorry, I tried to do it right."

"I shoulda been takin' care of you." He rasped and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You always do." She choked, "Doctors say I've gotta start going to AA if I really want to stop the drinking."

"It's bullshit Asher."

"I think it's best for all of us if I do. Before I end up like my father." She played with the band that had been wrapped around her wrist. He didn't get a chance to reply as a doctor walked in pushing a monitor.

"Miss Hayden, I'm Doctor Reynolds. Are you ready for the ultrasound?" Happy had stood up at the entrance of the doctor and was looking at Asher seriously. "It's just a check-up, make sure everythings going well with the baby."

"The sooner its done, the sooner I get out of here." Asher said, looking up at Happy and he nodded.

"Okay. Lets get to it." The obstetrician unwound the cord and picked up the bottle of ultrasound gel and heading in Ashers direction. Asher lay back on the pillows as Dr Reynolds pushed up her shirt and squeezed the gel onto her stomach, making Asher wince. "Sorry it's a bit cold."

"It's okay." Asher replied, glancing over at Happy who looked like he wasn't sure he wanted to be there. "You can wait outside if you're uncomfortable." She said quietly, feeling the ultrasound press against her stomach and move around.

"There we go, there's your baby." Asher jerked her head around as the sound of a rapid heartbeat could be heard from the monitor and she could see the form of the baby inside her.

"Shit." Turning her head she saw Happy had taken a seat beside her and was leaning over the bed to look at the monitor.

"Heartbeats perfect, and your baby seems perfectly healthy." Dr Reynolds grinned over at the pair of them. "Would you like a picture?" Asher nodded and the doctor pressed a button before she lifted the ultrasound from Ashers stomach and wiped the gel from Ashers stomach and tugging her shirt down over Ashers stomach. "I've spoken with your doctor and I've compiled a list of things that might help you feel a bit better, if you want it."

"Thanks."

"If you take good care of yourself, there's no reason why you won't have a beautiful healthy baby."

* * *

><p>Sarah slid off the back of Juices bike and handed his helmet back, like she had less than two hours ago. She was still pissed Happy had kicked her out, even if Asher had woken up in the ambulance. The only reason Asher was alone at the house in the first place was because Happy had done something that had made her leave. As usual.<p>

"You alright?" Turning around she looked at the biker sitting on the bike in front of her. He'd just lost his brother, Half Sack, the cute strawberry blonde she'd met the day before. She was pissed that Happy had kicked her out of the hospital, and his friend had just been murdered, his brothers baby having been kidnapped.

"I'm sorry." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Ashers my best friend, I just worry about her ."

"It's alright."

"Guess my secret didn't stay secret so long." She said quietly and he smiled. He wasn't the kind of guy that hid his smiles. Every single one was real and hell, very hot.

"How about I let you in on my secret then?" He asked and Sarah furrowed her brow, but stepped forward at his beckoning finger.

"What?" She almost laughed as she got so close she could smell his cologne and the leather of his cut.

"It wasn't really a secret, darlin'. I already knew." Stepping back Sarah rose her eyebrows.

"What'dya mean you already knew?"

"They didn't make me intelligence officer for no reason, Sarah." He chuckled, but Sarah felt the panic wash over her. Did he know?

"What do you know?" She choked out.

"That your Dad was the President of Tacoma. You went to highschool at Tacoma high before you transferred to Seattle when Asher Hayden took over your guardianship." He was still smiling but Sarah wanted to hit him. "You know she got into heaps of shit with the cops when she was younger."

"Asher never got formally charged with anything, so you must have been able to get to a lot if you saw her warnings."

"What are you talking about, Sarah?" he asked, but the smile was gone, only confirming the fact that he knew.

"I should've guessed." She threw her hands up. "You were only being nice to me because you felt sorry for me, well guess what? I don't need your pity." She spat before turning around and heading towards the house.

"Sarah, hold on." Juice was in front of her suddenly, making her pull up quickly. "I don't pity you. I mean…" She glared up at him, waiting for him to confirm what she already knew. "Yeah, I knew."

"Who else knows?"

"Most of the club." He said quietly and Sarah felt that pain she'd locked away for three years come slamming back into her.

"You told them?" He reached forward to touch her but she jerked away.

"They already knew Sarah, most of them have been around since it happened." He said quietly and she took another step back. This was meant to be a fresh start, like Seattle. The only people that were meant to know were Asher and Happy, and well…Gemma but only because she needed to know. "I haven't told anyone, I promise."

"It's not about whether you told anyone, Juice, don't you get it? You know, no-one was meant to know."

"It doesn't change anything." He insisted and Sarah scoffed. Who was he kidding? It changed everything. The one friend she thought she'd made was only doing it because of some Club obligation or because she was the poor fragile little girl. She suddenly knew exactly how Asher had felt with Happy.

"It changes everything." She bit out and stepped around him and walked into the house, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Happy watched Asher move around slowly as she unlocked the front door and pushed it open. "Here." He stepped up and pushed it wide open letting her walk through before he shut it behind them and caught up to her, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and half carrying her towards her bedroom.<p>

"I'm fine Hap." She gasped and he knew she was in pain. "You better get back." She said quietly as he helped her onto the bed and she sat down. Word on the street was that the Irish had kidnapped Abel, their prospect was dead and Gemma was on the run, having apparently killed the Irishmans son and some white power princess.

He stepped back and took her in, she had a few little plasters holding together the cut on her head and her hand was bandaged tightly, and she looked tired. "You still hating on me?" She asked, wincing slightly as she shifted. She should have stayed at the hospital. "You didn't have to do it." She muttered.

He almost scoffed. He did. Just before the doctor had handed Asher the ultrasound picture Asher had blurted out she wanted a fucking VD test.

_I don't want to put my baby at anymore risk. _

Then the doctor had fucking looked at him like if he was the father he should be taking one too.

"You know I don't fuck anyone but you without a rubber."

She winced again as she moved and he wondered if he should get her some painkillers or something. He watched her look down at her hands and smooth them over the holes in her jeans, her fingers catching on the frayed bits and tugging.

"Right."

"Shit Asher, fuck me." He growled, dropping his head back and rolling his eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that." She sighed.

"I didn't either." He hadn't touched a bitch since she'd told him she was pregnant. The photograph that the doctor had given Asher has been left on the bed when the doctor had agreed to giving her the test and was now tucked in behind his ID in his wallet. "You got some painkillers or something?"

"I don't wanna risk it." She said tiredly, rubbing her hand over her stomach. He felt like shit putting her through Spanners death, then lockdown, and this. "You should probably be out lookin' for Jax's kid." She said quietly and shifted again. He'd called Clay, explained the situation to the distraught president, who must have been feeling generous, because he'd told him he'd call him when he had a lead.

"Nah. Ya want somethin' to eat?" She shook her head but he knew she probably hadn't eaten all day so he ignored her and headed back out to the kitchen where Sarah was sitting up on the bench eating from a bowl.

"How's she doing?" The little brunette looked up at him and he shrugged. "Sorry for talkin' back at the hospital." She added and he rubbed a hand over his head, trying to ease the tension in his neck.

"It's aight kid." He'd been pissed off at the time, thinking Asher had done something stupid, he hadn't meant to snap at her. "Where's Koz?" Sarah jerked her head towards the living room where the tv was on and he could see his brothers socked feet on the arm of the couch. He hadn't realised how late it was. Turning back to Sarah he saw the bottle of whiskey open beside her leg. "Thought you woulda gotten rid of that?" He said, snatching it and taking a long sip from the bottle.

"Well I guess we kinda had the same idea." She smirked. "Just figured I'd kill two birds with one stone."

"You still havin' nightmares?" He asked, leaning against the opposite side of the kitchen. He knew Asher had nightmares sometimes about what had happened over ten years ago, not to mention how she'd killed Ainsely. She'd mentioned quietly once that Sarah had a similar problem.

"No." She replied quietly.

"Spit it out." He swore he saw her smirk.

"Juice told me he knows everything. And I mean everything Hap, like all the stuff Asher was cautioned for as a teenager, the…" She gestured with her hand and he knew what she meant- the attack. "And I didn't mean to, but he knows about the baby." Juice knowing was the least of his worries. Besides Tig, Juice was his closest SAMCRO brother, and the kid could play things close to his cut because he knew Happy needed his privacy, especially when it came to shit like Asher.

"How much does he know about what happened?" He asked, and Sarah shrugged.

"I don't know." She said quietly. "But he says the whole club knows." Sarah, more than anyone knew the loyalty to the brotherhood, the need for no secrets, but this one had no real links to the club, no reason for all of SAMCRO to know. "I can't be here if they all know…" She whispered quietly.

"You can." Neither of them had been expecting Asher to be up and about, standing there in the kitchen doorway. "We're not running anymore Sarah."

"Why not?" Sarah asked, and Happy could see the beginnings of one of Asher and Sarahs classic fights, the ones that ended with him having to lie there next to Asher as she tossed and turned wondering if she'd done the wrong thing for her daughter. "You run every other time."

"I don't particularly feel comfortable here either Sarah, but we're staying here. When you go to College you can do whatever the fuck you want. But right now, I need you and I need you _here_."

* * *

><p>Asher felt like strangling the teenager in front of her. She got that Sarah was in pain, she got that Sarah had learnt from Asher to run at any sign of hardship, but she couldn't do that now. She had to stick around, for the baby and Happy. It wasn't like she hadn't considered bailing on Happy after he'd admitted he was going to jail, but she was nearly thirty, she craved what she had in front of her – a daughter, a baby and an old Man. An Old Man that had protected her the best he could. She couldn't run away from that.<p>

"I need my family." She said quietly and she could see Sarah contemplating fighting her.

"Come on Ash, get back to bed." Happy walked over and stood in front of her. "You need to rest." He pushed her gently towards the hallway and Asher tried not to huff as she turned around and slowly shuffled back towards her room and climbed on the bed. Everything ached. She still couldn't believe she'd been passed out on the kitchen floor in whiskey and glass for a few hours, except for maybe the fact that she was cut up and aching. "You got fuckin' nothin' in the fridge baby girl." She lifted her head up to see Happy walk in, carrying a plate and dumped it on her lap. "Eat."

Sighing, she gingerly picked at the grilled cheese and chewed slowly. The fact that she hadn't really eaten anything took over and it took about five seconds for her to inhale the whole thing while Happy had a shower. When he came back in she watched him pull on his wifebeater as she slid the plate onto the nightstand. She was so pissed at him, but at the same time she was so in awe of him. After all the years and the shit she'd put him through he was still there. She hadn't meant to insinuate anything with the test after the ultrasound. Maybe she should start there, and work up to the fact that he was going to jail.

_Good plan. _

"I just want to give this kid the best chance I can." She sighed, "I know you'd never put me at risk, but it's so easy to slip up. The kid itself is a prime example of that."

"You put me on the spot, Asher, I don't like bein' put on the spot." He leant against the bed end and stared at her.

"I know." She said quietly. "Come here." She beckoned for him to come and sit on the bed. The Tacoma Killer did as he was asked, and sat down, his elbows resting on his knees as he turned to look at her, the muscles under his tattooed skin bulging. "I think we need to have this talk, get everything out in the open." She swore she saw his lip twitch with a smile. "Yeah talkin' killer."

"Right, talk then." Sitting up, she crossed her legs and leant her elbows on her knees as well. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I won't even be showing when you leave."

"Leave?" He almost chuckled, "Babe, I'm goin' to jail."

"But what for? For how long?"

"We raided an Aryan congregation." He ran a hand over his head, "Lookin' at ten years."

"Ten years?" No wonder he'd put off telling her. "You knew when I told you I was pregnant?"

"Yeah, we'd just been bailed out."

"Why didn't you just tell me to get an abortion?" She rasped. He shifted so he was sitting facing her and fixed her with his black eyes.

"Cause I know you, Asher. I fuckin' wish I didn't , but I know every inch of you better than you know yourself. You wanted a kid." Asher felt the tears trail down her cheeks, but she knew he was right. She never would have forgiven him if he'd made her get rid of it. "And the club will look after ya' if you stay here, you'll be safe."

"And what, I get to use the prison-clause on whoevers left for the next ten years? Raise our kid with someone else as its father?" Would anyone want to raise the child of a man like Happy? Knowing what would happen if he came back.

"No other punk is going to raise my kid. You aint gunna be the only one, Tara's gunna be without Jax so you can count on the club." He saw her roll her eyes. "Get rid of that stubborn Hayden pride." He ordered, pointing a finger at her. "I mean it."

"Hap." She choked, she fucking hated when he did this to her. Made promises he probably wouldn't keep. "Don't act like you're gunna come back for me."

"I'll be back." He leaned forward and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. She knew he was trying to be gentle as possible as she crawled towards him. "That I can promise, baby girl." His breath was on her lips, smelling like mint.

Crawling over she straddled him and wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder. She just needed him to be there for her now. Taking a deep breath in she inhaled his aftershave and the smell of his skin and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

"Can we just stay like this?" She asked quietly and he kissed her shoulder.

"Yeah." He lifted her up with one arm and moved to lay them down, pulling her into him so their bodies were flush. She moved her arms so they were wrapped around his waist and buried her head in his chest.

* * *

><p>Asher stood in front of the mirror and ran her hand over her stomach exposed stomach. The cuts on her hands were healing and were scabbed over, now nearly a week since she'd been in hospital. She'd managed to fix her hair to cover the cut on her head and the undershirt she planned on wearing would cover the tattoo on her wrist. Anything to try and make a good impression on her new place of employment after being rushed there in an ambulance a week ago.<p>

A loud knocking on the door made her swing her head around and grab her white undershirt.

"Yeah?" Sarah pushed the door open, book bag slung over her shoulder.

"You ready to go?" Sarah nodded. "Let me finish getting ready."

"Cool. Where's Hap?." Sarah said, dropping the bag on the ground and moving to sit on the bed.

"Um they're on the search for Abel so he hasn't gotten home." He hadn't been home for a few nights, only coming in to shower when Asher was still in bed. They were flat out trying to find little Abel, and Asher couldn't fault him for that. If it was her child, she wouldn't rest. How could any man, like this Cameron Hayes, take someones child, a baby no less? It brought up bad memories of Sarah being taken.

"Do you think they'll find him?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah…they'll find him."

"Koziks coming back tomorrow, for the funeral." Asher nodded.

"Make up the sofa bed when you get home from school tomorrow." Pulling on her scrub shirt and her sneakers, Asher grabbed her handbag and slung it over her shoulder, making sure her phone, keys and wallet were in there. "Come on baby, time for us to seize the day." She wrapped an arm around Sarahs shoulders and dragged her towards the door.

Sarah Stevenson only had three months left of school. Thank god. Then she was out and off to College, to do whatever she pleased.

First week at Charming High wasn't so bad afterall. It was smaller and quieter than Tacoma and Seattle. And the people were nice. Well the crazy Christian chick had gotten a little bit overzealous in her welcoming of Sarah, insisting they were going to be great friends. Until she'd seen the ink on Sarahs wrist and she realised Sarah wasn't going to be some bible loving good girl from Washington State.

The surprisingly hot red head, Steve or Todd or David or something had been in her English class and had pretended not to know her, and Sarah went with it. She wasn't overly proud of her first night in Charming.

And walking out of the school that afternoon, she realised she may have made a bit too much of an impression as she saw Juice parked in front on his bike. Wasn't he meant to be out looking for Jaxs kid? She hadn't said a single word to him since and she was fucking glad she hadn't given him her number.

"Hey!" He called out to her, but she ignored him, heading off down the street towards Ashers house. Sure enough though, the bike followed, him saying her name. "Sarah!" And sure enough, he mounted the curb and blocked her way.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"To talk to you." He said, switching the bike off and pulling off his helmet. "You've been avoiding me."

"I told you to leave me alone." Sarah bit out.

"Why?"

"Cause you're an asshole." She snapped and stepped around the bike and continued to walk off. She thought he was going to leave until she heard the slap of boots on concrete and suddenly he was in front of her.

Déjà vu

"What cause I know your secret and you think I'm gunna tell everyone."

"Like you're not." Sarah put a hand on her hip and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. A stance she'd seen Asher give Happy back in the day.

"I'd never tell anyone Sarah. What you went through…"

"I don't want your fucking sympathy." Then she stepped around him and sprinted off, despite the book bag on her shoulder. When she finally got home she saw the Harley Dyna with the purple detail on the tank in the driveway.

Looked like Happy was home.

Walking through the door she looked around and saw Happy sitting on the couch, his head back on the back of it, eyes closed his hand resting on the tv remote on his knee, Grumpys head on his other knee. As soon as the door clicked shut, his eyes snapped open and he was looking at her.

"Hey."

"Hey." He replied, running a hand over his head before dropping it back on the couch. "How was school?"

"Boring. How's the irish search going?"

"Aight." He ran a hand over his face again.

"Sorry I woke you." He didn't reply and she knew he was well on his way back to sleep so she locked the door and headed down to her room.

* * *

><p>AN: There you all are! Thank you so much for the reviews and I was so happy to see I have a few new reviewers (you know who you are). Please review! x


	62. Chapter 62

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Okay so things are slowing down again...mainly because season three has only just started on Australian free tv and even though I have seen all of them, I can't remember exactly how things go. So sorry. Anyways enjoy this one- it's for all the people that would like to see some Asher/Happy quality time. Thank you all so much for your reviews! I hope you enjoy this one.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Two – Girls Like You <strong>

_What will you do when something stops you?  
>What will you say to the world?<br>What will you be when it all comes crashing  
>Down on you little girl?<br>What would you do if you lost your beauty?  
>How would you deal with the light?<br>How would you feel if nobody chased you?  
>What if it happened tonight?<br>Don't you know  
>People write songs about girls like you<br>__**- Naked and Famous**_

When Asher got home after a twelve hour shift she had not been expecting Happy to be lying on the couch. She thought he'd be spending another night at the clubhouse.

"Hey." He looked over the arm of the couch and got up.

"Hey." Following her into the kitchen Asher was thankful to see he'd gotten into the lasagne she'd made the day before and Sarah's vegetarian pasta was all gone. At least they'd eaten dinner. Doing the same, she pulled out the dish and cut herself a piece of lasagne.

"I spoke to your mother." Asher said, pressing the buttons on the microwave, "You might wanna go and see her soon." Nora had sounded tired, sad on the phone, even though she insisted she was fine. And Happy always chastised her for the Hayden pride, Lowmans were ten times worse.

"Yeah, when we've sorted this shit out I'll head down there." The plate spun around in the microwave as Asher pulled a beer from the fridge and popped the lid off it, sliding it across the kitchen counter to Happy who'd taken a seat on a stool. "How's she going with the meds?"

"She needs more. I'll try and get some from the hospital." She replied, pulling the plate out and searching the drawers for a clean fork.

"You've only just started there, Ash, can't be asking favours."

"I can if it's going to help your mum get better." She dug the fork into the lasagne but paused, looking up to see him still sitting on the other side of the bench, his lip tugging slightly and she knew he was resisting smiling. "What?"

"Nothin' baby girl." She rolled her eyes and took a mouthful of lasagne.

"Have you spoken to Juice about Sarah yet?" She asked, swallowing the lasagne.

"Waitin' for Koz to get back." Waiting so that the two biggest scariest Sons could put the fear of god into him.

"I don't know how I feel about you getting him to keep an eye on her. It all seems a little bit…" She wanted to say familiar. She saw that twitch to his lip again and realised that had been the exact intention. "Setting him up with a girl that's off limits. That's a dodgy move Hap. Didn't work so well for you."

"Dunno, looks alright from here."

"Did anyone ever put the fear of god in you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. She didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to push Happy.

"Not the fear of god, just the reaper." His teeth flashed and Asher felt a great wave of affection for him. "Clays orders." How ironic- the only man that posed any danger to her besides maybe the Mayans, was he one trying to warn Happy away from her.

"And after you got out?" Did he wait for his presidents permission before he came to LA and made good use of her age.

"Things were different."

"So when Juice gets out?" She asked, a smile on her lips.

"I'll still put the fuckin' fear of god into him." Happy growled and Asher laughed, a real laugh that made her feel so much better.

"Thanks for taking her on, letting her live here." Shoving another mouthful of lasagne in her mouth to stop her saying anymore she focussed her gaze on the plate. She heard him shift but didn't look up until he was standing behind her, his hands on her hips.

"I'm gunna always look out for the kid." He growled in her ear, letting Asher lean back into him to look up at his brown eyes. "Both of them." His hand left her hip and rubbed over her stomach under her scrub shirt.

"I think you're going soft Killer." She whispered and he spun her around, lifting her easily onto the counter so he was standing between her knees. "I was kidding." She gasped when she felt him press up against her.

"You better be." He growled into her neck and Asher laughed again, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking at him when he pulled away. Watching the way his jaw ticked under the short stubble on his chin.

"I am."

"Good." His large tanned hand pulled her arm from his neck as he reached over and grabbed the plate she'd been eating off. "Now eat. I'm gunna shower."

"You're so fuckin' bossy. " She muttered as she watched him saunter away. Ten years and he still made her blood run hot as she watched that ass in those jeans. "Down girl." She muttered, slipping from the counter and swallowing the rest of her lasagne, realising she could probably get a bit more out of Happy if she caught him in the shower.

Stripping off her clothes and dropping them on the floor in the bedroom, before walking into the ensuite, she could see Happy through the steam covered glass doors. Sliding the door open she stepped in, looking up to see him standing under the spray watching her, his muscles twitching under his colourful skin.

"Couldn't resist?" He growled, grabbing for her hips and she wrapped her arms around his neck again and dropped her head back to look at him.

"You couldn't handle me, killer." She purred and he grinned before crashing his mouth down on hers, silencing her teasing. She could taste the whiskey and smoke on his tongue, along with that taste that was just _happy_. Her hands groped at his slick skin and he pulled her into him further, lifting her up and wrapping an arm under her ass, before they were both sliding onto the floor of the shower. "On the floor really?" She chuckled as he stretched them out and she was thankful for the large floor space in the shower as the cold tiles pressed into her back.

"You wanna go on the carpet?" He growled as he nipped at the sensitive skin on her neck.

_Rug burns._

"No." she gasped and arched up into his lips as his teeth grazed her nipple. "God, Hap."

"Been watchin' a long time darlin'." He growled into her ribs, his tongue tracing the lines on her side. How had she survived a whole week without him? How could she ever survive ten years without him when she'd grown to depend on him for the last ten? Morbid thoughts were pushed from her mind as his lips were back on hers, his tongue sweeping into her mouth and pushing against her tongue. He slid his hand between them and pushed her legs apart, sliding in between them.

"Hap." Asher moaned as he rubbed her with his fingers, years of practice resulting in the mews that he was getting from her. Never one for words during sex, Happy continued the torture with his mouth fused to her lips. Pulling away, he moved his hands so he was braced over the top of her, that serious look on his face. His hips were between her knees and she couldn't help but arch up into his chiselled body, all toned to perfection while hers was getting softer. But he didn't make any comment, just gripped her hip and slowly slid into her. The hormones and the slow pace had her moaning in no time quivering as he bit in her shoulder, knowing that was her weakness, before coming after her.

The water was starting to turn cold as they lay on the cold floor, Happy's weight still resting on her and Asher soaked up his warmth.

"Fuckin' hot water."

Her man definitely had a way with words.

Scrambling up, he pulled her up with him and tugged her back to him, pressing a kiss to her lips. "You aight?"

She felt lightheaded and woozy, but in all the right ways.

"Perfect." She whispered, not meaning to sound so lovestruck.

Happy actually laughed, a barking laugh, that showed all his teeth and made his features look less harsh.

"Fuck I'm gunna like havin' you 'round baby girl."

"Yeah, you're kinda stuck with me now, old man." He turned the hot tap on more and pulled her under the spray with him, his lips on hers again in a truly affectionate move.

Half an hour later, Asher with her legs on Happys lap, ice-cream bowl on her lap, spoon in her mouth and glasses on her face, reading as her Old Man flicked through the channels.

"Watcha readin'?" There mustn't have been anything good on, because seconds later the book was snatched out of her hand and Happy was inspecting the cover. "_Lolita?" _ He flipped the book over to the blurb, shaking his head. "What're you reading this fucked up shit for?" Asher put the bowl and spoon down on the coffee table that Happys socked feet were resting on and watched him inspect the book.

"It's a classic Hap."

"It's fucked."

"I was twelve when I met you." The stern look that told her she better be fucking with him, replaced the playful seriousness that had been there before.

"You may have been a _nymphet_ for some sick fucks, but I ain't one. 'Sides, you weren't ever much of a kid." The last time he'd mentioned ever reading a book when he commented on "Watership Down" when they'd first gone to Bakersfield to meet his mother. He may have acted like a killer and lived like a biker, but Mama Lowman raised no fool.

"You've read _Lolita_?"

"Maybe." He muttered, turning his attention back to the television. It was weird. He'd watched her grow up. Known her since she was a young teen, when she'd been looking after her father, so there was no doubt he knew a lot about her defining years. The drugs, alcohol, sex with strange boys until she'd fallen into a relationship with Riley, then out of it. But she didn't know a single thing about him except things she'd picked up from his behaviours or his mothers house. Like the fact that he'd boxed when he was younger- further proven by his dominance in a ring and the gloves by his childhood bed. She didn't even know that he had read books that she was still discovering.

"When?"

"Dunno, when I was a kid I guess." She rose her eyebrow. Yeah, right. He finally turned his head to face her, and she could see the expression on his face.

Unsure.

"I won't tell anyone." Winking she plucked the book from his grasp and placed it back on her lap. "I have loved books since I was little."

"My father had a shitload of books. Used to make me read them in the summers." He shrugged, his t-shirt loose on his shoulders. "He wanted me to go to college, shit like that so he forced 'em all on me." She wanted to know what happened to his father and that dream but knew better than to ask. He must have seen her restraint cause he rubbed her leg. "Got into college, even though I had a few minors, the day I found out, he got killed walkin' home, by a rouge cop."

"Sorry." He shrugged.

"At least I knew 'im." He didn't mean it as harsh as it sounded, and she knew that. "I still got all those books at Ma's. I'll make sure I get 'em next time I'm there." He rubbed his hand up her bare leg.

"I don't think he's going to be reading _Lolita _or _Lord of the Flies _as a ten year old Hap." For the first time she could almost laugh at their situation.

"You were readin' that fuckin' book about those poor kids when you were twelve."

"_The Outsiders_? That's my favourite book. I keep it in my handbag." Happy turned back to the television a smile tugging at his mouth.

"I know."

"Hey, thanks for telling me."

"I ain't a fuckin' Hayden, Asher, you want to know somethin', ask."

"You're not going to leave me in the dark are you?" She asked, seizing his giving mood. "When they eventually come up with a plan to keep you out of jail, you'll tell me won't you?"

"Like you told me about your plan?" He replied, his eyes still on the television screen. He was talking about the time, ten years ago when she'd lied and said she'd be testifying in court, when the lawyers had based their entire prosecution on the idea that Asher and Happy had been sleeping together when she was underage.

"It's not like I could tell you, then it would be like you threatening a witness." She said wriggling her toes in her socks. "I wanted to tell you. If Kozik hadn't been there, I would have fessed up everything." She could still remember the hum of the tattoo needle and the blood in her veins when he'd inked her on top of the piano in the Tacoma clubhouse and the overwhelming urge she'd had to say too much. "And you probably wouldn't be here." She added with a whisper.

"Don't get all sappy hooker."

"Never." She sighed and rolled her shoulders. She was tired and starting to get a bit sore from their shower escapade, but she was enjoying the moment and wasn't rushing to end it. "So? You'll tell me?"

"You'll know." He rasped not looking at her still.

"That's all I ask." She turned her attention back to the book as the familiar sound of Xzibit on  
>"Pimp My Ride" played in the background. The words of the page were out of focus as she thought about what he'd just said. He was thinking about their kid. He was really invested in this, more than she'd thought. Could she wait it out until he got out of jail? She was twenty-eight now, not eighteen, but she knew the benefits of staying with Happy. The fear of ten years was pushed aside, knowing how cunning Clay Morrow and Jax Teller were, there was a very slim chance that they'd be locked away for that long.<p>

"What makes you think it's a boy." Happy asked after she'd read the same line about six times.

"Huh?" Lifting her head she looked up at him, to see him still looking at the TV.

"You said 'he'." He confirmed and Asher shrugged. What were the chances of a man like Happy having a girl? Besides she already had a daughter, she was quite happy having a son.

"I just know."

"Don't get anythin' monogrammed." He muttered and she knew it was a jab at her parents. They'd gotten so set on the idea they were having a boy they'd had all her baby clothes embroidered.

"I won't." She ran a hand through her still damp hair and dog eared the page in her book, tossing it on the coffee table. "I didn't tell your ma about the baby, thought I'd leave that up to you."

"You told Madster?"

"Ha." She shook her head. "I'm not meant to tell anyone 'til twelve weeks." Not that she was far off it. "Madster can wait."

"Nora can too." She rose her eyebrow at him.

"I'm not telling her." Frankly the woman scared the shit out of her; she was right up there with the Gemma Tellers of the world.

"Yeah, well maybe don't tell anyone for a bit." He patted her legs and she lifted them so he could stand up and walk out of the room. Asher watched him disappear and leant over to grab the TV remote, changing the channel.

"Hey." Dropping her head to the side, Asher saw Sarah coming out of the hallway.

"Where've you been?"

"In my room, catching up on all the shit for school." Asher nodded and leaned back on the couch as Sarah took a seat. "How was work?" Asher shrugged. Work had been fine. Typical first day in a new place. People being overly friendly, insisting that she eat lunch with them and asking her questions all about her life. She managed to keep her answers to a minimum, she'd moved from Seattle with her daughter to be with her family. It was an easy lie, one she'd told a few times.

"Good."

"Do you ever get sick of looking after all those dying people?" Sarah asked, propping her feet up on the coffee table.

"Most of them don't die Sare." What was up with her? "What's your problem?"

"Nothing."

"Where's my dog?"

"Which one? Grumpy or Happy?" Sarah sniped and Asher slapped her arm, pointing a finger at her.

"Watch it." Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Who knew that when you finally did become an Old Lady you'd actually be good at it?" Sarah scoffed. God she was bitchy today. "I saw Juice today."

"Oh."

"Yeah. He wanted to apologise. Like it could make a difference." She ran a hand through her dark hair, eyes focused on the TV like Happys had been.

"Did you listen?"

"No." Asher sighed. She wanted Sarah to have a stable relationship, maybe not with a son, but by talking to Juice she might actually heal a bit. "I ran away."

"Thought we weren't running anymore."

"You weren't running. I never agreed to that." Sarah muttered.

"Sarah, I don't want you to regret shutting him out."

"Well according to you you're going to be here forever with Hap, so it's not like I can't fix it if I really miss him that much." Asher bit her lip, wondering if she should tell Sarah the truth. Well she'd made a deal with herself that honesty was the best policy when it came to Sarah, only avoiding it when it had come to her relationship with Happy. But this wasn't just about her and Happy anymore.

"I'm going to be here, but Hap isn't." She said quietly.

"What?" Sarah turned her head away from the television to actually look at her. "What do you mean? I thought Hap was staying in Charming with you."

"It's not by choice, Sare. He's going back to jail, most of SAMCRO is." She felt horrible admitting it. The last week, she'd managed to keep it out of her mind along with Happys absence, but telling Sarah made it seem even more real than it already was.

"Juice?"

"Yeah, baby. Juice, Jax, Clay, a few others." She ran a hand through her hair again.

"Jesus Asher." Before Asher could add anymore Sarah was wrapping her arms around Ashers shoulders. "I'm sorry." Asher hugged her back, her arms wrapping easily around her daughters skinny waist. "You and Hap deserve so much better." Shrugging, Asher squeezed her tightly once and they let go of each other.

"You make your bed, you have to sleep in it. I'm not an innocent bystander in the last ten years, Happy and I have both made decisions that aren't exactly right but we've stood by them. And I'll stand by him through this." She took a deep breath and levelled with Sarah. "I don't like you being involved with Juice, but if he knows the truth, and he's still here, that's a friend that you should keep. How do you think Happy and I got this far?"

"Is it true?" Sarah asked, "did you give up college and everything just so he wouldn't go to jail for a long time?" Asher nodded. "And you don't regret it?"

"Not a single moment. It made me the person I am." She said sternly.

"You should really get into counselling." Sarah said sweetly. Asher shrugged, she did her fair share of counselling patients through cancer.

"Just sayin'." She shrugged and Sarah stood up.

"I'm going to bed." Asher gestured towards the hallway and Sarah leant over to press a kiss to her cheek.

"Night Mama."

As she skipped down the hall, Happy re-entered, Grumpy walking behind him, the smell of smoke on his t-shirt.

"She gone to bed?" He asked.

"Yep, gave her a very stern talking to about riding in cars with boys." He shook his head and Asher stood up, picking her book and bowl up and flicking off the TV. "I'm heading to bed. You comin'?" She asked, running a hand over his abs as she walked past.

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><p>Asher rolled over in bed the next morning, to see Happy pulling his cut on. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand she saw the red numbers glowing six am. He glanced over at her, stopping when he saw her watching.<p>

"Morning." She croaked.

"How ya feelin'?" It had been awhile since he'd been there in the mornings. She might have enjoyed curling up with him, but hell she knew better.

"Good." The herbal stuff the doctor had her taking, was making her feel a lot better in the mornings. "Heading out?"

"Got a lead on the kid." She sat up straight away, letting her sheet fall to her lap, but not caring.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He smirked and she realised she was bare chested and quickly scrambled to pull the sheet up to her chest. "I gotta head." He leant over and pulled the sheet from her grip, which she was pretty sure was just a move to annoy her. "You coming to the wake?"

"You want me to?"

"Koz and a few other boys'll be there." Asher rose her eyebrow.

"You didn't know Kozik was sleeping on our couch tonight?" She asked, "cause he said he told you." She grinned, slipping away from his groping fingers.

"He did." He growled, actually getting on the bed and trapping her to it. "And I wantcha there."

"I'll be there after my shift." A half shift was heaps better than the twelve hours she'd worked the day before. "And my ah…my AA meeting."

"Don't tell them your real name." he ordered, getting off the bed and straightening his cut, snatching his gun from the bedside table and putting it in it's holster.

"That doesn't really work with this whole counselling thing."

"Just be careful." Kneeling up on the bed ignoring the fact that she was completely naked, she let him come over and grab her ass and throwing her backwards on the bed, true caveman style before kissing her hungrily. "I mean it." Then he was gone.

* * *

><p>Sitting in the Camaro Asher pulled her hair up into a semi-smart bun. Wiping under her eyes, she got rid of the eyeliner that had smudged under them and applied some gloss. Getting out of the car that she'd had to park around the corner because the funeral homes parking lot was packed, she tucked her keys in her jacket pocket along with her cell and headed towards the building.<p>

Standing off to the side, she watched the mourners come in and out, waiting to see someone familiar. She wouldn't be there unless Happy had wanted her to be there. Which was annoying. Her and big crowds was not a on her hobbies list. Especially when most of the people were Sons.

Standing off to the side she saw Clay Morrow walk out of the lit up building and onto the grass, spotting her and striding towards her. They'd been locked in a clubhouse together for two days a week ago and they'd successfully avoided each other. But that was nothing compared to the caged animal feeling she was having right now out there in the open.

"Friend of a friend said they had a pretty little blonde come to their AA meeting today, went by the name Matilda." He said, standing in front of her, his arms crossed across his chest. Where was his cigar?

"Now that's not very anonymous now is it Clarence?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"What're you doing at AA, girl?"

"I was scouting for rich billionaires." She quipped. The stern familiar Morrow gaze was on her, boring a hole into her face. "I have a drinking problem."

"Since when?"

"Since I was sixteen." How had he missed this little fact? "Sorry about your Prospect, and your grandson and Gemma."

"We're handling it. Haps doing a good job. Workin' hard." He said, nodded and jutting out his bottom lip in thought.

"What else did you expect?" Did he really think that with her there Happy would drop the ball? She'd been in the scene for over ten years, and when he did make a mistake he always made sure it was fixed.

"I dunno. What did you expect coming here?"

"Well it wasn't that you were all going away." He nodded, making his whole upper body move with the motion. Realising it wasn't a very appropriate thing to say considering the circumstances she quickly apologised. "Sorry, that was rude."

"That's the Morrow in ya." Asher nodded in understanding. Brutal honesty was a Morrow trait. "So are you hangin' 'round."

"In for the long haul and all that." There was her unhealthy motor mouth again. Where the hell had that come from? "If that's what Hap wants."

"Settling down?" Another shrug. She supposed she was. "Not around to cause any trouble then?" He dropped his chin to give her a look that implied all kinds of things.

"Not the historical kind if that's what you mean. I'm actually a big avoider of conflict." It was true, she hated having attention on her, especially now, so she changed the subject. "How's Gemma going?" Clay gave her a knowing smile and a wink then he was gone, looked like he was keeping his secrets if she insisted on keeping hers. He wouldn't ever let anything happen to Gemma.

"Lookin' good JB." She didn't need to turn around to know that Kozik was standing behind her.

"Better do a little better than that if you plan on sleeping on my couch, pretty." She said, slowly turning around to face him. "I accept chocolates and all kinds of sparkly stuff."

"Sparkly stuff, noted. How're you doing darling?" He leant down and kissed Ashers cheek.

"Fine, sorry about the Prospect."

"Lorc and Bowie are around here somewhere, Bell couldn't make it." Asher was almost sad, she kind of missed the SAMTAC queen. "Just got the prospects in tow."

"Are you all spooning on the couch?"

"You'd love that wouldn't you?" Kozik grinned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, quickly letting go when they both saw Happy walk out of the funeral home talking to Chibs. "How's things going playing happy families?"

"Get excited cause all that happiness is coming your way tonight sugar." She teased, seeing Tara and the skinny blonde walk down the grass. "I'm going to talk to these two." She pointed to the couple and Kozik nodded, letting Asher go walk away.

"Didn't think you'd be stupid enough to come back here." Turning around slowly at the sound of the voice, Asher looked up at the grey haired moustached man that was wearing a SOA cut, a lot different to the denim one she'd seen him wearing eight years ago at her fathers funeral. Her fathers president when he'd been Devils Tribe.

"Hi Jury." She smiled slightly, seeing his offsider Needles standing beside him. "You're SOA?"

"Patched over last year. Did what your old man was tryin' for all those years ago." Jury rubbed his chin. "What Clay wanted."

"Clay gets what he wants, you should know that." Asher replied and Jury nodded, glancing over at Needles.

"Looks like he's got you where he wants you."

"I'm here because this is where I need to be." She replied. Her decision had nothing to do with Clay. It would have been nice for Clay to not be there, but she could deal. "Nice to see you Jury." Turning around she walked over to the two Old Ladies off to the side. "Hi." She said quietly when she reached the girls. They both looked tense. "How're you doing?" She asked Tara who gave her a small smile.

"Fine, thanks." Asher saw the men start to move out of the funeral home, Happy spotting her and giving her a nod as Jax and Opie headed towards them. Jax nodded to Asher, before walking off with Tara. The blonde was pulled into a hug with Opie and Asher knew this was her moment to move out of the way. She stopped though, seeing the green jeep on the other side of the road, a man in a khaki uniform watching her. Cocking her head to the side she stared back at him. Was this the cop that had had Gemmas back through her whole ordeal with the rape? He looked young, determined, which would indicate that he probably was more the straight and narrow kind of cop. Though, she'd seen stranger, hell, Sherriff Bill Hayden had seemed pretty law-abiding until she'd found out he'd prospected with SAMCRO. The squealing of rubber tyres made him divert his attention, hers too, as a silver van came flying around the corner.

* * *

><p>Happy had seen Asher standing on the grass near Lyla and Tara when he walked out of the funeral home. He thought she might have bailed. Poor bitch hadn't really handled Spanners funeral a few weeks ago. But there she was, wearing a pair of black jeans, a tight blue top on under her leather jacket. That blonde hair was pulled back, making her seem older, more mature. Assured she was safe, he turned his attention back to his brothers, walking over to the small group. Kozik had a shit eating grin on his face and Happy felt a tug at his lip. They'd prearranged having a little talk with Juice as soon as the SAMTAC SAA got there.<p>

"Where's the Juicer?" Koz rubbed his hands together with excitement and Happy had to shake his head.

"Comin'" Happy nodded towards the doorway where the little tattooed shit was sauntering out.

"Sup?" He asked when he reached them and Kozik wrapped his arm around the kid.

"I ever tell you I was a Marine kid? Back in the day, me and Tig."

"No." Juice looked sheepishly between the two of them.

"Well lets just say Juicey, I gots lots of guns. And Hap there." Happy watched Juice turn his head to look at him, so he crossed his arms across his chest and glared at the younger Son. "well you know what he specialises in. See where I'm goin' here?"

"No, not really." Juice mighta had a IQ in the triple digits, but fuck he was slow.

"My neice," Koz pointed to Happy and he nodded, "our niece, Sarah, she's a good girl."

"Yeah I know." Juice started to squirm a bit now, and Happy got some kind of sick satisfaction from that. He may have told Asher that the kid was harmless, but Asher didn't need to know the shit his Brothers were capable of, especially when it came to a bitch. He'd seen Juice go at it with a sweetbutt a time or two on a pool table, like most of them had. But the idea of his little Sarah being treated like that, well, that shit didn't go over real well.

"Gotta lot of issues, ya know?" Koz added and Happy saw Juice nod. Sure he knew everything about Sarahs past. "Had a lot of bad shit happen to her, shit she didn't deserve."

"Yeah…I know." Juice was seeming a lot more understanding now.

"Shit that I took care of." Happy added. The adams apple in the kids throat bobbed and Happy knew that Juice would never intentionally hurt her. He was about to add that he'd slit his own brothers throat to continue protecting her, when the screech of car tyres made him whip his head around.

The silver van came flying around the corner and the door came sliding open, shots sounding, the grass on the lawn in front of them, flying up in large clumps. He went into fight mode, pulling his guns from the holsters under his cut, and started firing back, just as the rest of his brothers did. He saw Asher up near the front, running as the automatics kept firing. Sprinting over to her, he didn't mean to hit her so hard, but they both slammed to the ground, wrapping his arms around her tightly to soften the blow. He stayed where he was holding her to the ground as another round went off.

"Stay down." He ordered when it seemed to ease seeing the back of her head nod, before he was up again and running towards the van. He didn't miss the prone body lying on the street as he fired at the van, in finally careening off. One of the shooters had fallen from the van and the local cops were screaming at him to drop the weapon, before Jax was sprinting towards them, slamming the shooters face into the ground.

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><p>AN: Well whatya think? Review! xx


	63. Chapter 63

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Three- Learning How to Bend<br>**

_Just trying to understand  
>It's all in someone elses hands<br>There's always been a bigger plan  
>But I don't need to understand<br>Still learning how to bend  
>I want to take you in<br>in a world full of tears  
>We'll conquer all our fears<em>_**  
>-Gary Allan<strong>_

"Sarah!" Asher walked through the front door, and looked frantically around for the teenager. "Sarah!" The shuffling of feet and cursing, and finally Sarah was finally in front of her.

"What? What?"

"Where's Grumpy?" She had very strict orders.

_Get home._

_Dog inside._

_Lock the doors and put the gun on the bedside table._

"I'll go get him." Asher watched Sarah go, before she was down the hall to her room, pulling the box out from underneath it and lifting the lid. Her nine mil was missing. "Shit." She tried to remember where it was. Looking around her room she saw her large tote hanging in the wardrobe. She'd left the gun in there when she'd been on lockdown. Slamming the lid back down on the box, she slid it under the bed and jumped up, reaching for the bag and rummaging through it until she felt the cool metal underneath her fingertips.

"What's going on?" She turned around, the gun in her hand to see Sarah standing in the doorway, Grumpy at her feet.

"There was a driveby at the funeral."

"What?"

"Yeah, I dunno, we were all outside, and this van came past and shot the place up." Asher said, dropping the clip from the gun and checking it was full before snapping it back into place. She put the gun down on the bedside table and went and checked all the doors before coming back into the room and finding Sarah sitting on the bed, Grumpy curled up beside her.

"So we're on lockdown in the house?"

"No one knows who we are Sare, we're just taking precautions."

"Was anyone hurt?" Asher nodded slowly. The deputy chief was the person that had been lying on the road, some kid was shot, others injured.

"Yeah, some poor kind and deputy chief was killed. "

"Is that like the deputy sheriff?" Sarah asked and Asher nodded.

"Come on, stay in here tonight." Walking into the ensuite, she shut the door and started the shower, starting it and getting under the spray, letting the tears that she'd held in go. The panic she'd managed to contain earlier when Happy had her held to the ground welled up in her chest and she choked out the sobs. This was meant to be the safest place for them? They were getting locked up or shot at, and this was where Happy wanted her to stay?

* * *

><p>When Asher woke again, there was a banging on the door and she walked out to look through the window, only able to see the large shadowy figures and the glowing patches of the reaper. Taking a deep breath she walked over and pulled the door open.<p>

"Waiting up for us darlin'?" Four men stood in front of her. Kozik in front, Lorca, Bowie and Donut behind them. SAMTAC in all their glory.

"I'll get some pillows, hope you don't mind the floor, the spare room is full of shit." They all shuffled in and she walked down the hall in search of pillows and blankets. Thankfully Sarah had made up the sofa bed so that meant that one got the armchair, and she was pretty sure she had a spare mattress somewhere. Rummaging through her linen closet she found Happys bed roll. She wasn't really sure how it had come to be that he'd snuck all his stuff into the house without her noticing, but she didn't pay attention to it, just picking up her finds and heading towards the lounge room. Happy was kicking off his boots inside the door as she entered and she breathed a sigh of relief.

At least he was home with her.

"The fuck you doin' on my bedroll?" He asked when he saw Donut roll out the bed roll and took that as her cue to leave. Sarah met her in the hallway.

"Happys home?" Asher nodded and Sarah whistled to Grumpy. "Off to my room then." She gave Asher a smirk before disappearing down the hall. Asher went into her room and shut the door, curling up in bed, she dozed off, waking up later in the night with Happy in the bed as well, the heat radiating off his body as he lay close by.

"Hap." She whispered, watching as his head shifted, burying it further into his pillow. "Happy." She knew better than to wake him, but that didn't stop her. She'd managed to shut out the panic that she'd felt on the funeral home lawn all those hours ago, ignored the fact that Happy had tackled her to the ground and held her down, to keep her out of range of flying bullets. He'd probably saved her life. Again.

"'Fuck you want?" He growled, not lifting his head.

"To talk."

"I'm fuckin' sleepin." She sighed, rolling over so she was lying facing him as he lay on his stomach.

"Hap." She whispered, "Was it Mayans?"

"What?" he growled, his head never moved.

"The drive-by?" He seemed to wake up a bit more, pushing himself up to brace himself on his elbows and look over at her.

"I dunno. Find out tomorrow." He asked, his brow furrowed. . "Why? You scared?"

"Yes." It was all well and good for him to lock her up, protect her, but who the fuck was protecting him. What was she supposed to do when he was dead? Jail was one thing, but if he got killed…

"I ain't gunna let you get hurt, Ash."

"It's not me I'm worried about." She muttered and he reached out and pulled her over to him, so she was lying under him.

"Don'tcha worry about me." Happy growled as he pressed a kiss to her lips and lay back down, his arm still stretched over her, and she knew it was only a matter of minutes before he was asleep and trapping her to the bed.

"You know I will anyway." His breath hit her neck and she smiled slightly, running her fingers over the tight muscle of the arm that pinned her to the bed. "I know you're careful Hap, but you're not invincible. I'm getting used to having you around."

* * *

><p>Asher stared at the sizzling bacon in the pan in front of her. It smelt so good and her stomach was growling. The eggs in the pan next to it, however were having the opposite effect. The boys were sitting around her very small kitchen table drinking coffee and talking loudly about their plans for the day. Happy had been in the shower when she'd woken up, and that's where she'd left him. She wasn't particularly proud of waking him up the night before and expressing her fears. Now in the harsh light of day, it looked weak, it made her look like she couldn't handle what she was getting into and knowing Happy, that would mean him pulling away and putting her back in the dark.<p>

The smell of the eggs started overpowering the bacon and she shifted across the kitchen towards the sink, leaning over the sink and taking deep breaths. When the feeling subsided, she went back to putting bread in the toaster as Happy sauntered in. He took one look at her and pointed to the kitchen bench.

"Now." Taking his orders she went and perched herself up on the barstool. She watched him turn the burners on the stove off and pick up a fork and scooping food onto the plate. Once he was seated with the rest of his brothers, they realised food was up and headed towards the kitchen.

"You feelin' alright darlin?" Lorca asked, standing in front of the counter and buttering his toast. Asher nodded, giving him a small smile. He glanced over her shoulder and nodded, before heading back to the kitchen table, sitting down the Kozik and the others. Asher turned around and slid off the stool, seeing Happy watch her from the head of the table. They probably had club business to discuss, so she was going to leave them.

"Uncle Koz is here!" Sarah skipped down the hall towards her and Asher stopped and rose an eyebrow at the girl. She seemed pretty excited to see the SAA. "Morning." She skipped past and straight into the kitchen where she heard a loud shout indicating that Koz had seen her. The next thing she heard was Sarah shrieking for him to put her down. Rolling her eyes, she headed to the bathroom, needing a shower.

* * *

><p>Shuffling through the pockets of Happys jeans, Asher put all the loose change on the dryer beside her and chucked the clothes in the washer, along with a scoop of detergent.<p>

"Should I bring my clothes around later?" She let out a small gasp and spun around, clutching her chest.

"Jesus, Koz!" She'd been off in her own world.

"Sorry JB." The smile on his face said he was anything but.

"What'you want?" Leaning against the washer she looked up at the huge blonde.

"Hap said you went to a meeting last night." Asher rolled her eyes. Who didn't know?

"Yeah, I did."

"Make you feel any better?" He asked and Asher shrugged.

"Not really." She shrugged and picked up the clean clothes she'd retrieved from dry cleaner. "Be nicer if every freakin' citizen in Charming didn't know." Koz was distracted by her folding up her underwear, reaching for the flimsy material, a grin on his face, but Asher slapped his hand away before it made contact. "Watch it Asshole."

"Always pictured you as a thong kinda girl. Hap's always…" Asher rose her eyebrow at the SAA and he trailed off. "You know what nevermind…"

"So what's brought you all the way into the lair?" She asked, stepping in front of her delicates.

"Just wanted to ask about the meetin'." The fact that Happy was telling him about her meetings had her thinking that there was something else.

"You guys swapping makeup tips while I'm out? Keep outta my foundation cause I know it looks like it matches but you're more of a beige than an ivory."

"Sassy, no doll, just wanted to ask, maybe mention that I mighta told him about someones last words to you." She furrowed her brow, trying to work out what the fuck he was talking about.

"Who's?"

"Spanner." Her stomach dropped, and this time is wasn't baby related.

_I love you, Ash. _

"Why?" She choked.

"Why didn't you?" Asher held her hands up like it was freakin' obvious.

"Because it has nothing to do with him!"

"I got one brother tellin' the other ones girl that he's in love with her." Asher shrugged. She didn't know what was running through Spanners head when he died.

"Friends can say that." Friends could say that and it's not like Happy had ever said it. Sighing, she ran a hand over her head, visualising stabbing him in the face. "When did you tell him?"

"On lockdown." So that's why Happy had let her go when she'd asked to go. And he'd known for a whole week and not mentioned it. Swallowing thickly she took a deep breath and turned back to her washing.

"Your ten minutes are up." She sniped when he didn't leave.

"Asher."

"Get out Koz." She didn't look at him, just kept folding her washing. She heard him sigh loudly before his shuffling of feet out into the house. As soon as he was gone, she stopped folding and leant heavily on the washer.

"Asher, I gotta…" Happy could probably see the side of her face as she leant on the washer and he approached the door.

"See ya." She muttered, but he didn't move. He walked in, and she anticipated his next move, as he reached out and snagged the hair behind her ear, knotting his fingers in it and gently tugging. Asher looked up.

"What's the attitude bitch?" She looked up at him and wondered if they were both thinking the same thing, or if they were even on the same wavelength.

"Spanner." She said quietly and he nodded, letting go of her hair and stepping back.

"Yeah, we'll talk about it later."

"Hap." Asher didn't mean to sound like some whipped pup. It had just thrown her. She'd managed to avoid thinking about Spanner since she'd been with Happy and it hurt. "I uh…"

"Yeah, I know girl." Then he was gone. She didn't know if it made her feel any better, but she watched him go and went back to folding up the washing.

"I'm going to school." Sarah shouted from the kitchen.

"Bye." Asher called back and then she was all alone, well almost, except Grumpy wandered in and sat down in front of the dryer. "Just you and me, buddy." He ignored her and she had to laugh. Men.

* * *

><p>All thoughts of the drive-by being an initiation for the Calavares MC getting patched over by Mayans were pushed from Happys mind as he walked into the house after two am. On the bed in front of him Asher was tangled up in the sheets, her feet sticking out the end and her t-shirt riding up underneath her breasts. She groaned in her sleep and shifted slightly, tugging at the sheet resting on her hips before giving up and rolling onto her stomach, her long blonde hair fanning over her back and pillow.<p>

She'd been the most important woman next to his mother for the last ten years and even then there were times when she'd pushing his mother into second place. Ten years was a fuckin' long time. It had made him know the lines he could and couldn't cross. The girl that was sprawled on the mattress was tough. But he couldn't fuck her like a bitch. He couldn't bend her over and make her beg him to stop because girls like her and Sarah – you didn't use sex as a weapon. He couldn't raise a hand to her like he would a sweetbutt. She'd never admit to being damaged or fucked up, but she was. She had Daddy issues and trust issues and twenty-five other types of fucking issues that plenty of other people had and buckled under the pressure of. Yet, in the last ten years she had changed so much. Once she'd been a cigarette smoking rebellious teenager that you were flat out getting two words from. He still remembered fighting with her a lot in those last few months before he went away for killing Reg Collins. But she wasn't anything like that girl anymore, she had her moments, but most of the time he could get a smile from her now. He hadn't missed his brothers accusing glares at her arrival at lockdown with him. He knew he scared the shit outta a lot of them, sometimes he scared the shit outta himself, but Sarah had been right. Asher knew what he was and she was still here.

That hadn't stopped the hurt look on her face when he'd seen her in the laundry that morning. Fuckin' Koz had opened his big fat fuckin' mouth and told her that he knew about Spanner telling her he loved her. When Koz had first told him, he'd been so pissed at her for keeping it to herself. But he'd known Spanner a long time, nearly as long as he'd known Asher, and he had no doubt that his brother had loved Asher. More than the friendly kind. She had that effect on men though, had them so twisted up on themselves they forgot what they were doing. Asher was a lot like Gemma Teller that way, she could turn the whole club on its head if she wanted to. He'd learnt a long time ago not to ask questions about her family and the secrets she kept. He had to respect that because she'd kept a lot of secrets for him over the years. And she would never risk him or their family to hurt the club. As much as she hated it, she was loyal to the end. In all the years since they'd started hooking up she'd never touched another brother, not Spanner or Riley or Collie or any of the others. She'd never touched Spanner and he'd still fallen in love with her. She'd given her whole body and soul to him and he couldn't even admit that it hurt his heart to see her so rattled.

"Yo." Taking a deep breath and not backing out, he snagged her leg, tugging it. "Wake up." He watched her move around as she woke up before she was sitting up in front of him, rubbing her eyes.

"Hap?" Fuck she was beautiful. Her blue eyes were dull in the darkness, but he could still picture them blazing at him. He reached forward and pulled her up to his lips, kissing her deeply, sweeping her hair away from her face. When he pulled away, she gave him a small smile. "I'm going back to sleep if you want to just get on with it." She said tiredly, gesturing to herself, but he couldn't force himself to smile. He had to say this. "What?" She asked, obviously seeing his reaction.

"You know I fuckin' love you, baby girl." He said seriously and she seemed to blink a bit before looking back up at him. "I won't let anythin' happen to ya."

"Huh?"

"I ain't sayin' it again." He knew better than to wait for her to say it back. She may or may not love him, but he wasn't going to force it out of her. "I'm gunna shower." He straightened and headed towards the bathroom.

"Hap." She called out and he stopped and he looked over his shoulder at her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to pretend I never heard that." She said quietly before lying down and pulling the covers up over her shoulders and Happy nodded. Yeah, that was his girl.

After showering, he didn't bother dressing, just crawled into the bed and pulled the covers up under his arm and reached out for Asher, pulling her under him, pressing a kiss to her shoulder, but she was already asleep.

* * *

><p>Asher woke up after sunrise and looked over to Happys side of the bed. Looked like he hadn't come home. Rolling over she reached into his spot and felt the mattress was warm. Maybe he had been there.<p>

"Weird." Throwing back the covers she walked out into the kitchen and saw the coffee cup sitting in the sink and realised that it was true, he had been there. She had had the weirdest dream last night involving him.

"I'm late, late, late." Sarah came running through the kitchen. "Bye." Asher had hardly seen her daughter in the last couple of days, and sighed with annoyance as she saw the girl shoot out the door.

"Yeah, bye." Making some toast she chewed on it as she headed back to her room. On the bedside table, her gun was still sitting under the lamp. She didn't really see a need for it if Happy was going to be around, so she leant down and pulled the box out from under the bed. Lifting the lid, she took in the contents. It was filled with all the important things, birth certificate, her nursing certificate, Sarahs guardianship papers and so on. Shuffling some papers to the side, she saw a heap of photos she'd kept from her fathers house. Pulling them out, she put the gun in the box and flicked through the photos. Most of them were of her mother, young and vibrant, another of both her parents out the front of the bar in Nevada where the Devils Tribe had been based. Flipping another, she saw a photo that in the past she hadn't taken a second look at. Six people all standing around a familiar blue Harley. Gemma Teller, John Teller, Clay Morrow, her father and mother, and a younger version of the old man that had been talking to her in the clubhouse the other day.

_Piney. _

Flipping it over she read the date on the back of it. Nineteen seventy-nine. Nine months before she'd been born. Climbing off the bed, she went and showered, before heading out to the Camaro, the packet of photos in hand.

* * *

><p>Walking into the SAMCRO Clubhouse the second time was a lot better than the first time. It was fairly empty and there were hardly any bikes parked along the front.<p>

"Hello?" She called out, walking past the reaper clad door slowly and letting it slam behind her.

The old man came shuffling out, an oxygen tube under his nose as he looked over at her with watery blue eyes.

"Hello darlin'. Lookin' for Happy?" The old man might have had age and tequila, but he had managed to work out which Son she was with.

"Actually…" This was her chance to back out, go home and spend the rest of the day on the couch with her dog, "I came to see you." He seemed a bit taken aback by this.

"By all means, have a seat." He gestured towards the sofa and Asher walked over and sat down on the sofa, crossing her jean clad legs. Her flip flop falling onto the ground when she pointed her toes but she left it, watching the old man take a seat on a chair in front of her. "So?" Asher reached into her handbag and pulled out the photos from her handbag.

"I found some photos from my Dads stuff." She handed them over, watching Piney reach out and take them, flipping through them, a smile creasing his features.

"Your ma was a pretty thing, like you." Asher gave him a small smile.

"I thought you might like them, I don't have much use for them." The old man nodded, not looking up at her as he continued to flip through the candid shots of various club members, some of them familiar, some not so much. "Is it emphysema?" He glanced up and Asher pointed to the oxygen.

"Too much smoking, not enough breathing." Asher smiled, trying not to think about how Happy would probably end up the same. "Could be worse, at least it's not lung cancer."

"I work with cancer patients. A lot of them say the opposite."

"You would know then. Must be hard watching them get sick." She tried not to get to attached. There was only one patient that always was on her mind.

"Most of them heal, you just have to detach yourself from them."

"All of them?" He had seen her look. "I hear Haps mum isn't well."

"She isn't. Hasn't been for a long time." It felt like it had been at least four years since Nora had first been diagnosed, it had been a long road so far.

"You kids must be feeling the pinch, money wise."

"We get by." With her contacts at the hospital in Seattle they had gotten by until she'd moved to Charming. "Things change."

"I have an…" He smirked like the cat that got the cream, his glassy eyes laughing at her, "old friend that can help you out, if you want me to have a word with Happy."

"I don't take handouts."

"Nah, she supplies lotta clinics with quality stuff at half the price. I'll talk to Hap, take him down there." Asher rose an eyebrow and the old man chuckled. "You didn't ask darlin' I offered." Yeah, he offered right after she opened her damn mouth. "She's legit. I get a lotta meds from her."

"'Kay." She muttered.

"Look at this." His attention went back to the photos and he chuckled, "you know John Teller was your godfather." Asher nodded. It was one of those things she kept quiet, like the fact that she was Clay Morrows niece. "They got you christened as soon as you were outta the womb, like they knew somethin' was coming." Madster had told her that story as well. It was one of her least favourites, the one where her only daughter was snatched from her not long after. "Your ma was funny like that. Intuitive right?" Asher nodded, not really sure what his question was, but agreed with him anyway. "You don't wanna listen to an old timer like me talk about the old days." He chuckled.

"I've got time." She had a feeling that the old man didn't get to talk like this to many people these days so she got comfortable and let him continue.

* * *

><p>Sarah sat at the diner table watching the people laugh all around her. She picked at her muffin, not really hungry as she looked around the group of people in front of her.<p>

This is what it looked like to have friends. They were similar to the group she'd been in back in Seattle and they were nice, but she had other things on her mind.

Male things.

Asher didn't get involved in things unless she felt strongly about them. During lockdown, Sarah had seen her sit back and wait to be asked for a favour. But Sarah knew she was one of the important things in her guardians life, and that she was worried about her. Hell, most people were worried about her, she didn't exactly have a great track record with being able to handle things. But Asher insisted that Juice knowing all these things was possibly a good thing.

"I've got to go." She stood up and pulled her bag onto her shoulder seeing every set of eyes in the booth turn to look at her. "Sorry guys." She threw in a smile for good measure. "I'll see ya." A chorus of goodbyes followed as she managed to step out of the booth and headed for the exit.

Once out in the fresh air she took a deep breath and looked up and down the street. She was about three blocks from Ashers house. The other direction would lead her to Teller-Morrow Auto. Turning around she started down the street towards Teller-Morrow. If anything she could go and…well she'd think up an excuse when she got there.

She had managed to get half a block before the roar of a Harley coming down the street toward her made her stop. The chances of it being Juice were slim, but as soon as the person got closer she saw the familiar flapping white sleeves around his arms and sunglasses. He lacked the stature that Happy had, and the seriousness, leaving it to be only one Son. The right Son.

Taking a deep breath she waved to him, seeing him let go of the throttle and slow down, coasting along the curb and stopping beside her.

"Hey." She smiled when she finally was face to face with him.

"Hey." He didn't smile as he pulled his helmet off and looked over at her. "What's up?" She didn't miss the fact that he didn't look all that pleased to see her. She didn't blame him.

"You ah…wanna…" She paused taking in the curious way he was watching her, "Can we go somewhere please?" Finally a smile twitched at Juices lip and he handed her his helmet.

"Aight." Sarah took the helmet and strapped it on, adjusting her bag across her chest and swung on behind him, gripping his leather cut in her hands as he pulled off the curb and headed out of town.

When he pulled up they were on the edge of town in an old park that she'd never seen. He took the helmet as she slid off the bike and dumped her bag on the back of his bike as he too swung off and headed over to the decrepit picnic table under the overhang of a tree. It reminded her of the old picnic table hidden in her parents backyard that her brothers used to play around when they were kids.

"What'd ya wanna say?" He asked, leaning against the bike and crossing his arms across his chest, still not giving in.

"I have trust issues," She spat out and saw his eyebrows jerk slightly, "like serious trust issues." She met his eyes and vowed to herself to hold them. "There's three people in the whole world that I trust with my life, but after that it's all very black and white. There's no-one that blurs the line. I don't trust any of them."

"You got a point girl?" She could tell it was meant to sound harsh, she'd heard similar phrases from Happy over the years when he was pissed at Asher, but Juice couldn't pull it off. Juice despite his obvious tendencies, was a nice guy or as nice as any Son could be.

"Since I met you, the line has become kinda blurred. That's why I freaked out. Nothing good has ever come from people knowing about what happened." She replied honestly.

"Ya think that I would ever want to hurt you Sarah?" The nice Juice she'd met a few weeks ago was back and Sarah remembered Ashers words, shuffling through her bag she pulled out the packet of cigarettes and put one in her mouth, lighting it quickly and turning her back on him, heading towards the picnic table. She could hear him following her and inhaled from her cigarette before turning around and sitting on the table, facing him as he stood in front of her.

"You don't have to want to." She countered as she looked at the toes of her boots. The people that had known had never intentionally wanted to hurt her.

"I don't think I really have a choice." He chuckled, following her lead and shook a cigarette out of his own packet. "I'm not exactly keen to take on Hap and Koz." Sarah jerked her head up, to watch him light the cigarette, his eyes still hidden by his sunglasses.

"What?"

"Yeah ah…" he shifted foot to foot before speaking again, "Just brothers." He shrugged and Sarah knew he was avoiding the question.

"Did Hap say something to you?"

"Nah, don't worry about it." Sarah was almost embarrassed that her uncles had taken it upon themselves to put the fear of god into Juice, but part of her was kind of pleased. Happy had yet again been there to protect her.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch."

"Usually I'd make you work a bit harder for it, but I get the feeling 'sorry' isn't usually in your vocabulary." He replied, puffing out some smoke. Sarah couldn't help but smile a little bit. "You really think I'm that bad?" He asked and Sarah shook her head.

"No, I just…"

"I get it. You've been doin' it your whole life- pushing people away." Sarah nodded. It was true. She'd spent the last ten years not trusting anyone except Happy, Asher and Koz. "Not everyones a complete asshole you know, Sarah. I mean, Happys one of the guys you trust- do you know what that guy is capable of?"

_You have no idea._

"You have no idea." She didn't mean to say the words out loud, and snapped her mouth shut quickly.

"I think I do." He ran a hand over his Mohawk. "So where's this leave us?" He asked and Sarah felt like she was in some teen soap.

"Friends?" She asked, seeing his lips spread into a wide smile. "What?"

"Son's don't have girls that are _just _friends."

"Well, lets push the boundaries." She said standing up and walking over to him, raising an eyebrow and biting her lip. "Be my friend." She watched as he lifted his hand up slowly, cautiously as he put it on her shoulder. Sarah fought every nerve in her body come alive, but not in the way that it usually did when people touched her, this one sent a hot rush to her chest and slowly worked it's way down, the same way whiskey did. She felt his hand leave her arm, the fingers grazing over her back, causing her body to move against her will towards him until they were almost flush against each other.

"You still wanna be friends?" He asked and it took all her willpower for Sarah to flatten her hands on his cut clad chest and push back.

"Yeah…friends."

_For the moment. _

"Cool, friends then. You want a ride home?" Sarah nodded and he stepped back, holding his hand out to her. But Sarah knew the friendship line was getting very fuzzy everytime he touched her.

"Yeah that'd be cool." Then she climbed on the Harley behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Just Juice…" She said making him pause on his way to starting the bike. "Don't treat me any different now that you know."

"I ain't gunna bail on you."


	64. Chapter 64

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Four – If I Had a Gun <strong>

_If I had a gun I'd shoot a hole into the sun  
>And love would burn this city down for you<br>If I had the time I'd stop the world and make you mine  
>And every day would stay the same with you<em>

_Excuse me if I spoke too soon  
>My eyes have always followed you around the room<br>'Cause you're the only God that I will ever need  
>I'm holding on, I'm waiting for the moment to find me<em>

_**-Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds**_

Asher was sitting up on the couch, remote in hand and double choc chip cookie in her mouth. She was claiming cravings if anyone asked rather than the information she'd learned that afternoon. On the television LA Ink was on and she was admiring the tattoo artists at their best. She'd never seen the place when she'd lived in LA but she didn't really need to go to a parlour to get inked. Her largest piece was courtesy of the man in her life, the other one was done by a girl she'd known in Tacoma years ago, someone that she trusted to do her and Sarahs rosary beads. Sarah and Happys designs though, were right up with some of the stuff on the show, it made her think about the classic old lady mark that most of the club women were sporting here in Charming.

She had always loved Bella's large SOA and reaper blade on her neck, it was the kind of thing that only Bella could pull off, all bad ass and a touch of class. Just like the woman herself. Gemma Tellers crow across her cleavage had the similar effect that Bellas did and Asher tried to picture herself with a tattoo like that. That's if Happy ever wanted to give her an official Old Lady mark, rather than the one he'd forced on her when she was eighteen.

_Tacoma SOA born and bred._

The words would probably stretch as her baby grew. Happy would probably have to fix it when he got out.

As if hearing her thoughts she heard the key in the front door and she glanced over to see Happy walking through the door, kicking his boots off in the doorway. He looked her way and she gave him a small smile before he kept going through to the kitchen. She didn't bother getting up. This was his house too, he could work out how to use the microwave. The food was still all out on the kitchen bench, Sarah was asleep in her room and she could hear Grumpy padding his way down the hallway at the sound of his owner returning. Again she'd been abandoned by the dog.

"Wanna get that sweet ass in here, hooker?" His gravelly voice called and Asher rolled her eyes but got up off the couch, taking her packet of cookies with her.

"Hey," she kept her voice quiet as she approached him sitting at the kitchen bench, his elbows leaning on the benchtop and the reaper on his cut glaring at her, "you're early." She mused as she reached the counter and put the cookie bag down.

"Heard you were flauntin' that ass of yours around the clubhouse." He growled, not even looking up from his beer and food.

"You mean my pregnant, alcoholic, Happy-devoted ass?" She asked, leaning over the counter to look at him, even though he avoided her eyes.

"Yeah, somethin' like that."

"Well I wasn't flaunting. I took some photos to Piney, old SAMCRO photos from when my parents were alive." She answered quietly, trying not to pick a fight.

"Thought I told you not to stir that shit up." He growled.

"He's an old man looking for someone to talk to about the old days, Hap." She knew he was worried about her, he'd never admit it though. She didn't particularly like admitting that she was worried about him either. "He said he can help you out with your mums meds."

A grunt was her only response and she moved around to stand beside him, putting her hand on his knee, not wanting to overstep her bounds.

"Tough day?"

"Shit day." He rasped and Asher cocked her head to the side.

"Okay." He wanted to be alone, she got that, turning around she headed back to the couch and lay down, stretching her entire body out along it and turning her attention back to the television. She'd closed her eyes just a second when she felt rough warm skin on her toes, across her foot and the warmth wrapped around her ankle, making her eyes snap open. Happy was standing at the foot of the couch, his ringed hand on her leg as he stared down at the skin. He didn't look up, just ran his hand further along her leg, near her knee. Asher watched him from her spot, smiling at the look of concentration on his face. His large palm went over her knee cap and the fingers traced gently up her thigh, and finally he looked over at her, his eyes black. She lifted her leg up and bent it up to her stomach, watching as he shed off his cut and holster, tossing them on the coffee table before he knelt on the couch between her legs, leaning over her.

Ashers hands came up to his shoulders and she reached up to his lips with her own, smiling as he pressed his into hers hard, pushing her lips apart in a hungry kiss. He pulled away and narrowed his eyes at her.

"What?" Asher asked breathlessly.

"How many of those cookies did you eat?" He rasped the corner of his lips twitching. "You taste like chocolate." He lapped his tongue over her lips and Asher sighed arching up into him, her fingernails digging into his shoulders. He wrapped a large hand around her wrist and tugged himself free, standing up. "Come 'ere." She felt the same fingers that had moved up her leg, lace through her own and pull her onto her feet. "Gonna show that ass who owns it." He growled, tugging her closer to him.

"Ya know, just once I'd like you to seduce me." She muttered and before the yelp was out of her mouth, Happy had thrown her over his shoulder and slapped her on the ass, carrying her to the bedroom.

"Seduce this bitch." He replied and Asher giggled as she slapped him on the back.

She was tossed onto the bed with a _oomph_. Asher watched his muscles ripple in the dim bedroom lamp light underneath his tattooed skin as he ripped off his shirt and unbuckled his belt and dropped his jeans to the floor. Ashers grin spread across her face as he moved, naked and lithe across the mattress towards her as she whipped off her t-shirt and threw it away, shimmying out of her shorts when he finally reached her.

"Happy." Asher groaned as his warm skin pressed up against hers his smooth muscles moving under her hands. "I meant what I said." She said somehow regaining her composure even naked and at his mercy. "It's always you Hap, it has been since I was eighteen." He stopped whatever he was going to do to her, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he towered over her, his arms bracing his body above her.

"Don't matter."

"It matters to me." She replied, "This matters to me." Finally there was a real smile, his teeth bright white, his tanned features creasing.

"Taken you ten fuckin' years to give a shit about something."

* * *

><p>"<em>You don't expect anything from anyone." He reiterated, stepping forward and Asher braced herself against the basin. "Don't expect the kid to protect you, don't expect the club to look after you, don't expect your father to raise you." <em>

"_So?" She asked, cocking her eyebrow trying not to let on that he'd read her so easily. "Why expect things from people when all they do is disappoint you?"_

* * *

><p>"Yeah, well you never disappoint." Asher smirked, gasping when his mouth was on hers again, his fingers kneading into her bare thigh. There wasn't much talking going on after that.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>This is what I give a shit about- these peoples memories – what they meant to me. They wanted me to go to college. I want to go to college, I want out of this place, out of this world and I can't do that with a criminal record. I'm not testifying because I hate you." <em>

"_I know."_

* * *

><p>Asher jolted awake, Happys words forcing her out of sleep. Blindly, she reached through the dark, hating that Happy had turned off the lamp before they'd fallen asleep, until she found the warm smooth skin of the man himself. She breathed a sigh of relief and felt his arm move under her fingers.<p>

"What's wrong?" His voice was gruffer than usual with sleep.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." She whispered, her fingers wrapping around his bicep until he lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her into his bare chest.

"Dream?"

"Memory." She said quietly, snuggling into his side.

"Good or bad?" His rings were cool as he ran his knuckles up and down her back and Asher shrugged.

"Not sure."

"'Bout Sarah?" He asked and she shook her head into his side.

"Not really." She nuzzled into his warm side some more. "About the last time I saw you before you went away."

"Shit's different this time baby girl."

"Is it?" She didn't lift her head, even as his fingers stilled. "Is it really going to be that different? I remember telling you that I was testifying to get out of Tacoma, get away from the club- and here I am. Ten years later, part of the club, in a town even smaller than Tacoma. I just need you to trust me like you did back then. Don't accuse me of things I would never do to you." She felt the tears in her eyes. "I'm not going to bail on you."

_Damn Hormones _

His fingers found her chin and he lifted her head up, and she felt his body shift as he craned his head down to press his lips to hers. It was funny that it was in the dark where people would think he'd be the most dangerous that he was the most affectionate. It reminded her of the crazy dream she'd had last night.

"You left early this morning." She said quietly and he shrugged.

"Had to go to Oakland."

"Heading to Canada tomorrow?" She asked quietly, slipping down to his side again, feeling his entire body stiffen.

"Who told you that?"

"It should have been you." Asher countered. The boys had been talking about it when they'd walked into the clubhouse that afternoon, stopping momentarily to see her sitting in the corner talking to the old man before heading into the chapel without another word to her. "You're jumping bail…you're going to end up in jail earlier, get a longer sentence. You're not even going to be here for the twelve week scan." The tears were coming down her cheeks in streams now. "The worst part is I agree that you have to go, you have to find that kid. It just fuckin' sucks that you're not really gunna get a chance to see your own kid."

* * *

><p>Sarah stared across the table at her foster mother picking at her dinner.<p>

"Is this a flower?" Asher asked holding up the offending object and Sarah smirked. This was how they did mother daughter bonding. They chose a place to go out to dinner and they spent the whole time gossiping about stupid trivial shit. Sarah had heard the little restaurant was the best and almost only restaurant in Charming with a three course meal. But looking across at Asher picking through the food Sarah realised it had probably been a rookie error. For all her beauty and great figure probably due to relentless hours pacing the halls of Oncology, Asher was an Italian grandmother at heart. Even though Asher didn't eat much, when she cooked it was always delicious wholesome foods that made Sarah feel guilty about putting so many carbs in her body. Needless to say a tiny piece of fish surrounded by colourful flowers was not Ashers cup of tea.

"You don't like food that isn't smothered in cheese and pasta, and that was before you were pregnant."

"I like chinese." Asher replied and Sarah scoffed.

"Sorry, cheese, pasta and soy sauce."

"Thank you. So you spoke to Juice?" Asher asked, pushing the flowers to the side of her plate and mashed her fish up.

"Yes, we're friends."

"Good, can never have too many friends." Sarah stifled a smile this time. Asher didn't particularly like being made aware she hardly had any friends.

"Where's your _Son_?"

"Somewhere between here and Alaska." Asher replied and Sarah watched her foster mother pick some more at the food. "I don't wanna be a bitch Sare, but all that talk about cheese and pasta…"

"There's pasta in the fridge at home."

"Good, we might need some icecream as well." Asher reached over for her hand bag and pulled out her purse before waving over the waiter. "Check please." Sarah didn't miss the confused look on the waiters face, but it was soon wiped away as Asher gave him one of her smiles. It still amused Sarah to watch men fall over themselves to help Asher. When she was little she'd always wanted to be able to do that when she grew up, but as she got older she realised that Asher had always had that effect, and at eighteen, Sarah didn't really think she had a chance of learning now. "What's on your mind sweetheart?" Asher asked as she pulled notes from her wallet and Sarah didn't miss that most of Ashers currency was cash these days rather than card. Looked like Happy was putting his foot down…finally.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" She saw Ashers brow lift in confusion.

"Get men to do anything you want." Sarah replied bluntly.

"Lots of practise." That was an answer she hadn't been expecting. She'd been expecting her to shrug and say she didn't even realise she did it. "I grew up by myself Sare, I learnt to flirt to get what I needed."

"Wish I was that good."

"You shouldn't ever have to flirt to get what you need Sare. You don't need some guy to look after you. You've got a family – anything you need, I will get it for you." Asher did it all without lifting her head from the shuffling through her purse.

"Even when my little baby brother pops out?"

"What makes you think it's a boy?" Asher finally lifted her head and Sarah smirked. The first child in Asher and Happys relationship was going to be the heir of something amazing, that had been through everything. A son by a Son.

"Happy making a girl? With you? The girl of his dreams? Not possible."

"Nice Sare." Sarah shrugged. She'd learnt her way with words from the blonde in front of her. "Come on, kid, lets get that icecream. I'm thinkin' the darkest chocolate the gas station has."

"This town needs a Ben and Jerrys."

"This town needs to move into the twenty-first century." Asher quipped, walking out of the restaurant and pulling open the drivers side door of the red Camaro, Sarah following suit.

* * *

><p>Icecream in hand after a brief detour to get some cake at the local diner which in turn had eaten up about an hour, Asher pulled the Camaro into the driveway, immediately noticing the black Harley Dyna parked next to her. Alarm bells went off in her head. Happy was meant to be in Canada looking for Abel, why the hell was he home after less than twenty-four hours.<p>

"Thought you said…" Sarah started but must have seen the look on Ashers face.

"Yeah, I know what I said." She pushed the drivers side door open and grabbed her handbag, heading up to the front door, walking across the small porch and putting her key in the lock, not waiting for Sarah to come in.

"Guess I'll put the ice-cream in the freezer then." Sarah called after her, but Asher wasn't paying attention as she kept going towards the bedroom, not bothering to keep her footsteps quiet. Walking in she looked around and saw the familiar cut on the bed, his guns still in their holsters, the two nine-millimetres similar to the one stashed under her bed. The shower was running, but she was distracted by the black duffle bag on the floor. He wouldn't have left it there if he was worried about her seeing what was in it, and as she leant over and picked up one of the boxes she read the label. Looked like Piney had come through on the meds.

Wouldn't he usually call when he'd come home to find her gone at that time of night? And wasn't he meant to be in Canada looking for Abel? Jumping bail and being absent from her twelve week scan tomorrow?

Pushing open the already cracked bathroom door she walked in to see Happy leaning against the back of the shower, his back to her through the frosted glass of the shower door, making the reaper on his back fuzzy. She wanted to ask why he was home, what had happened, but something about seeing him like that made her turn around and walk back out, closing the door quietly behind her.

In the kitchen she pulled out the spaghetti she'd made the day before and heated up enough for the two of them, biting her lip anxiously as she waited for him to come out. She could hear the television going and figured Sarah was in there.

"Asher." His voice made her lift her head as she pulled the plates from the microwave.

"You hungry?" She ignored the serious look on his face and searched the drawers for a few forks. "What?" His silence made her stop and turn to look at him. "What's going on Hap?" She asked, staring at him across the kitchen bench. She could see his jaw tighten. The muscle twitching up near his ear.

"Gemma's in the hospital. Had some heart thing." Asher gripped the bench in front of her and stared at him, waiting for him to continue. Last Asher had heard, Gemma was in hiding somewhere and had a reward on her head for killing two people. "Kids in Belfast. We're going after him."

"Jesus Christ."

"I'm gunna patch to Charming." He said, after a minute of silence. "Get this bullshit sorted once and for all. You're my Old Lady first, Clays niece second."

"Thanks." He nodded.

"Woulda done it before, but wasn't sure you were gunna hang around." Asher felt like the bitch now. After all that time, not to mention his threats, he still thought she'd take off. "But you gotta stop fuckin' fighting me everytime I ask somethin' of ya."

"Whatever you decide to do, Hap- I'm with you all the way."

"Good to hear." He went back to his food and she got the feeling that was the end of the conversation.

"I'm going to bed. I've got my twelve week scan tomorrow." She walked around to his side of the kitchen bench and leant into his side and brushed her lips across his cheek quickly before heading down the hall, stopping to check on Sarah on the way.

* * *

><p>Happy pulled off his jeans and t-shirt and crawled into bed with Asher an hour later. Her reminder of the twelve week mark tomorrow made him realise it was time to stop skirting around it. Asher was pregnant, their baby was priority, it always should have been. He'd go and tell his ma tomorrow. Then sort out Ashers side of the family. If it meant dragging Asher to Sacramento and facing Maddie Morrow, he'd do it.<p>

"Gotta go to Bakersfield tomorrow." He said when he felt Asher roll over.

"Hmm."

"I'll be back late."

"Hmm." She sounded tired but he leant over and brushed his thumb across her cheek, over her soft lips.

"Gunna tell her about the kid." This made her shift closer, pressing her body along his, her warm curves moulding to his side. "We'll go and see Maddie together."

"I don't wanna." She sounded like a whiny child as she pressed those goddamn lips to his side. He wasn't particularly keen on telling his mother, let alone Ashers grandmother.

"Gotta do it Ash. Can't hide this shit forever."

"Can I ask you something?" She said softly, changing the subject. Happy grunted in reply. "Did you mean it when you told me you loved me? It wasn't just because of what Koz said about Pete."

"Yeah, I meant it."

"You're the first person that hasn't been dying that's ever said that to me and meant it." She said softly and he was slammed with the reality that Asher wasn't always the tough bitch he needed her to be. Sometimes she was a broken little girl, one that he'd saved.

"No big deal." He shrugged trying to be relaxed about it.

"Yeah, well ya know." She shrugged into his side, "I love you too."

"I know girl."

* * *

><p>"Asher."<p>

"Fuck off." Happy smirked as he looked down at his girl spread out on the bed, her dark purple nails digging into the mattress as he tried to shake her out of her dreams.

"You wanna fuckin' say that again?" He watched in satisfaction as she rolled over and looked bleary eyed up at him.

"Sorry."

"I gotta go, I'll call you later." She nodded and he looked down at her. He had to go and see his mother today. Break the news of his jail sentence and the fact that she was going to be a grandmamma in a few months. At the thought he looked down at Ashers bare stomach. He'd noticed the changes in the last few weeks, hadn't said shit to Asher though. Seemed like she was either crying or laughing hysterically every time he opened his mouth. Telling her, her stomach was slowly expanding, the muscle gone and replaced with soft muscle and silky skin was a sure fire way to get his ass kicked. He couldn't help reaching out and running his hand over her stomach, watching it rise and fall with her breathing. She didn't say anything and he appreciated it. She was good like that. When he glanced up and caught her eye she gave him a small smile, those blue eyes twinkling. Shit, she was beautiful.

"Ride safe." She said quietly when he pulled away and he nodded, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers.

"Yeah." Pulling away he walked out of the room and headed towards his bike, bracing himself for the day ahead.

He went to the Clubhouse first, knowing Clay would already be there. He walked in, through the bar and ignored the croweaters and hangarounds loitering around. It was too early for any of them to be there, but this is where Tig had said Clay was. He reached the double doors and pushed his way through, seeing the blue eyes so similar to his girls, turn to watch him walk in.

"Early for you." He greeted, taking his glasses from his face.

"Wanted to talk to you before I go to Bakersfield." He replied.

"Have a seat brother." Happy took a seat in Tigs spot and leant on the carved redwood. "What's on your mind?"

Happy wasn't one to skirt around the topic, he didn't avoid things. He was a straight shooter- straight to the point.

"Asher's not gunna be doin' jobs for the club anymore. No other old ladies have ta."

"I respect that." Clay said but Happy could see his forehead creasing.

"I know she's ya niece, Prez, but ten years ago, you asked me to look out for her…"

"You're just doin' what I ask, I get that. Look, to be honest brother, I wasn't sure she was hangin' around." Yeah, he got that. "But I can tell she's in for the long haul. She's a good girl…deep down. Like her mother. Keep her in line." Clay ordered and that was Happys cue to leave.

"Thanks Prez."

"Think you can push that visit back a few hours? Gotta few things we need ta do." Happy nodded and walked out into the clubhouse.

* * *

><p>Tara Knowles forced every personal matter that was bothering her out of her mind as she walked out of the elevator and onto the floor. To the left- Oncology, to the right, Neurology and Cardiology. Gemma was out of ICU, having had an arythmia in the parking lot at Teller Morrow the night before. Pushing through the swinging doors she paused to talk to the lady at the front desk when she saw a cut through the glass window of the doors, the familiar pink scrubs of a nurse talking to them.<p>

"Who's down there?" Tara asked.

"One of the Oncology nurses, Ashley or something. She was on her break and came down to see Gemma Teller." Ashley? She'd heard through Jax that Asher Hayden was working at St Thomas'. The mythology that followed the mysterious blonde ranged from teacher to librarian to pornstar or stripper. It was kind of ironic that she was a nurse – a safe reliable innocent profession. Before she'd met the girl herself, Tara had been expecting a butch biker chick with piercings and a lot of ink. But Asher was far from that. All dirty blonde hair and blue eyes and a soft smile that made Tara feel comfortable with her.

Asher Hayden would be the object of many a mans affections if it wasn't for the fact that her Old Man was one of the scariest men that Tara had ever known. Happy Lowman wasn't Jax or Opie- he didn't have a need to have a family, yet when it came down to it, Happy Lowman was there for his girl when she found out she was pregnant. And where was Jax? Tara was six weeks along and her Old Man – the one that was meant to be good was gone, off sleeping with some pornstar slut.

Taking a deep breath and composing herself, Tara pushed open the doors and paused. "Had a talk with your _Old Man_ this mornin'."

"I heard you patched him in." She could hear Ashers voice around the corner, and there were no second guesses as to who she was talking to

"Yeah, he's done a lot for this club. I'm glad to have him on board. Even if it means I get you with the deal." Tara could hear the chuckle in Clays voice and wondered whether Asher thought it was as funny as he did. "Can't say your buddy Koz will be patched in yet but."

"Koz wanted to stay here?"

"Yeah." Another chuckle followed. "Look, Gem's asleep. Why don'tcha come back later?"

"Okay, I might." Ashers voice was quiet.

"See you 'round darlin."

"See ya Clarence." Then she heard loud footsteps and Clay came around the corner, slowing down when he saw Tara.

"How you doing sweetheart?" He stopped and asked her and Tara pasted a smile on her face.

"Fine thanks Clay." The President stepped past her and out the swinging doors so Tara picked up her pace and went around the corner to see Asher sitting in the chair beside Gemmas door, leaning over with her head between her knees. "Are you okay?" Asher jerked her head up and set those blue eyes on Tara.

"Yeah, just tired." Asher looked up at her with those bright blue eyes. "I was going see Gemma, but I have to get to an ultrasound."

"Oh? Twelve weeks?" Tara asked, remembering the girl had nearly been ten weeks when they'd been on lockdown which still felt like forever ago.

"Yeah." Asher stood up and tugged on the sleeves of the purple undershirt she had on beneath her pink scrubs. "I better go."

"Is Happy coming?" Asher shook her head slowly. "You want some company?" Another one of those rare smiles followed.

"Yeah, that would be nice." They both headed out of the ward, Tara falling into step with Asher. "You alright?"

"Yeah fine."

"You look it." Asher replied and Tara was suddenly struck once again at how good this girl was at reading people. "Jax problems?"

"That obvious?" Tara asked. "We broke up….well he dumped me, by sleeping with a pornstar." Asher pushed the button for the elevator and glanced over at her. Tara couldn't believe she'd told a practical stranger all that.

"That's a shitty move." Asher muttered as they stepped into the elevator. Tara agreed wholeheartedly. It was a shitty move. He couldn't tell her the truth so he cheated on her. With Ima no less. "The cum-diva got a name?"

"Ima Whore."

"Cute." Asher flashed her another smile and Tara realised that not only was she telling this girl everything, she was having a vent. The elevator dinged and they both stepped off, heading towards her doctors office.

"Miss Hayden, just in time, come on in." Dr Reynolds greeted them from her observation room and Asher followed her back in, walking straight past the secretary. "Are you coming as well Dr Knowles?"

Tara looked at Asher who nodded so Tara followed her into the room where Asher got on the examination bed and lay down.

"How's your morning sickness?" Dr Reynolds asked as Tara took a seat beside the bed and watched the obstetrician unwind the ultrasound equipment.

"Good, that herbal stuff helped a lot." Asher replied, pulling up the bottom of her shirt.

"And the meetings are helping?" Tara watched Asher shrug, glancing over at her briefly before turning back to the other doctor.

"Charming hasn't really grasped the _Anonymous_ part." Asher replied and the blonde ran a hand through her hair.

"I can get you the address of one in Oakland or Lodi if you like?" Dr Reynolds had picked up the ultrasound gel and was squeezing it onto Ashers stomach.

"No, I better stay in Charming." The girl chuckled nervously.

"The father couldn't make it this time?" Had Happy actually come to a doctors appointment with Asher? It sounded unusual. But she was finding, things between the blonde and the clubs hitman were unusual.

"He had something important he had to do. But Tara's here."

"Would you like a sonogram?" Asher nodded. "Right, lets get down to it. No discomfort or pain?" With each question, Asher shook her head. "No bleeding?"

"No."

Tara watched on as the ultrasound sensor was pressed to Ashers stomach, making the young nurse jump before the picture came up on the computer screen, the sound of the heartbeat following. Tara did a quick scan of the screen, everything looked good, the heartbeat sounded good.

"Is it okay?" Ashers voice pulled Taras attention back and she turned to look at the girl who was watching her. Tara couldn't help but smile and so did Dr Reynolds.

"Your baby is perfectly healthy. Good strong heartbeat." Asher turned her attention back to the obstetrician. "See there…" Taras mind drifted off as she watched the happiness on Ashers face as the doctor pointed out the parts of the growing baby. The myth about the young girl who had grown up with no mother and an alcoholic father, who had almost been raped, had been shot, had helped save lives in the Tacoma Clubhouse and had taken on the SAMTAC presidents daughter as her own and above all had loved Happy Lowman all that time, was nothing compared to the woman that was in awe of the tiny little being inside her. Tara was pretty sure the pretty blonde had tears in her eyes, as she smiled up at the screen.

And Tara admitted to herself, she was just a bit jealous.

* * *

><p>When he pulled up into his mothers driveway in Bakersfield, Happy looked at the purple sedan he'd parked next to. He'd called ahead, assured that his mother was home. But that wasn't her car.<p>

Unstrapping the bag that contained the boxes of meds he'd gotten off Piney's 'lady-friend' he headed towards the porch, not missing the fact that even as sick as she was, his mothers garden was still exactly as it had been since he could remember. Green and colourful. He had a brief moment where he remembered Asher standing in the middle of it, looking around in awe. The garden they had in their rental was shit, he'd have to get someone around to fix it.

"Happy!" Turning around he saw his mother come from the front door, stepping onto the wooden porch. He swung the bag over his shoulder, his elbow bent and his fore and middle fingers holding the straps over his shoulder as he reached his mother and leant down to press a kiss to her cheek.

"How you doin' Ma?" She patted his arm and looked up at him with a smile. Her head was wrapped in a large purple scarf, making her seem a lot paler than usual, her eyes watching him, even though they were sunken slightly, the wrinkles around them prominent.

"Good my boy, so good." She said huskily and he nodded before looking over at the car.

"Who's car?"

"Your cousin Sofia's." His mother replied and he gritted his teeth unconsciously.

"Tessa's here?" His aunt wasn't exactly his favourite person. Every time he saw her, she would go on and on about his lifestyle, how he was hurting his mother, how she did everything for his mother.

"Come in Hap." Nora waved him forward and Happy took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold.

"Oh yeah, here." He held the bag out as Nora walked ahead of him. Nora looked at him questionably as she took the bag and he knew she was shocked that it was him that had brought the meds. "They're good."

"They're not from Seattle." She said cautiously, inspecting the boxes and he didn't reply. "You spoken to Asher?"

"Nora!" Before he could tell her the reason why he was there, his aunt came into the hallway and looked at the pair of them. "Happy."

"Tess." He walked over and pressed a kiss to the womans cheek and strode out into the kitchen. His cousin Sofia was stirring something on the stove, he could see her long dark hair falling down the back of her dress.

"Happy!" She was only a few years younger than him and was the spitting image of his mother as a younger woman.

"Hey Sofi." She put down her spoon and walked over to hug him. "How ya doin?" He asked, looking down at her.

"Good."

"You still running around with that goddamn club?" Tess asked as she took up her spot at the kitchen bench, chopping vegetables and Happy suddenly wished he had Asher with him. At least it would give him an excuse to get the fuck out of there.

"Yeah." His mother was no-where to be seen as he craned his neck around to look for her.

"Guess you broke your mama's heart after all." Tess replied flippantly and Happy cocked an eyebrow at the game old bitch. She was younger than his mother, but they had been similar looking, but where his mother had aged gracefully, Tess had kept dying her hair to hide the grey and still wore a lot of makeup and tight clothing.

"Mama." Sofia scolded and Happy chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, watch your fuckin' mouth you old bitch." He growled and saw Tessas head snap up, her eyes wide and he glared at her. He wasn't a sixteen year old kid anymore. He was a grown ass man.

"Happy." His mothers voice almost made him feel guilty. Almost. "Come and sit outside with me boy." She waved a feeble hand at him and he nodded, sending a warning look Tessa's way before following his mother. He pulled out a chair for her to sit on, on the porch then taking his own. "Ease up on Tessa, things are stressful at the moment." he glanced over at her and saw her steely gaze on him. "Sofia and Jonathon are having trouble getting pregnant, Tessas worried." Happy almost scoffed. Trust Tessa to get involved. But it reminded him on his own baby bearing news.

"I gotta tell you somethin' ma." He leant against the table and looked across at his mother.

"What is it? Oh…" She could read him in seconds. "is this about your court appearance? Your lawyer came by for a character reference, she said you were looking at the longest stretch yet."

"Yeah…" He nodded and ran a hand over his chin, the stubble rough on his fingertips. "Sorry."

"Happy…" Her sigh sounded sad, like she had when he'd gone and seen her before he'd went away after he'd killed Reg Collins, ten years ago. "What did you do?"

"It 'ad to be done Ma."

"You said that last time and the next time I saw you, you were toting a wayward blonde around." He was pretty certain the old girl was trying to get at something, but he didn't let on. "Was it for her again?"

"Asher?" She nodded, her scarf bobbing with the movement. "Nah, nothin' to do with her."

"Have you spoken to her? Told her? She sounded tired on the phone." His mother almost rambled and it made him uncomfortable. The usually composed woman was clearly pissed at him. "Is that why you brought the meds?"

"Nora, can you make this sauce for me." Tessa was at the door, again interrupting any talk of Happys girl. Nora stood up, Happy following her into the kitchen.

"So have you seen her?" Standing in front of the kitchen bench while his aunt and cousin stood beside the stove, Happy watched his mother start to make the chocolate sauce. They'd gone all out over dinner.

"Yeah, kinda wanted to talk to you about that." He muttered and his mother stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. "Alone." He saw his aunts head twitch. This was something he wanted to keep to his mother.

"Tell me." Nora ordered and Happy gripped the kitchen bench willing himself not to bail out, taking a deep breath and taking the bull by the horns.

"She's livin' with me in Charming." He saw Nora's jaw clench.

"What?" She hissed and he smirked. Something about seeing his mother stunned was amusing. She finished doing whatever she was doing before levelling her gaze at him. "Come and have dinner."

Once they were seated, Nora at the head of the table, Happy watched his mother pick at the food before finally giving in and turning her gaze on him.

"What did I tell you about that girl Hap?" She asked and Happy scoffed, putting down his fork and looking over at his aunt and cousin who were watching on with interest. "You shoulda cut her loose."

"Ma." He growled, seeing Tessa perk up even more at the other end of the table. "Asher knows the life, she knows what she's gettin' into."

"She's not even thirty Hap. How does she know what she wants?" He gritted his teeth. If it were anyone but his Ma saying this shit about his girl, the mother of his child he'd slit their goddamn throat. Asher had been in his life for ten years, she'd looked after his mother through her diagnosis and treatment, had been the one to convince him to go Nomad and spend more time with Nora and this was how his mother thought of her? He couldn't help himself, he slammed his hand down on the table making all the women at it jump, Tessas hand coming up to her mouth in shock, but Happy was focussed on his mother.

"You don't know that, because you never took the fuckin' time to get to know her."

"Happy…" Tessa had recovered from her shock, "Your mother has been sick, you can't expect her to drop everything for _some _girl." Happy turned in his seat and glared at his aunt, jabbing his finger in her direction.

"_You _keep out of this."

"Hap." Again his mothers voice was trying to make him feel guilty, but he wouldn't let it.

"Nora." He growled. "Can't you just be fuckin' happy for once? You're gunna be a grandmother for fucksake." Then he pushed back from the table. "Thanks for dinner Sofia, Tess." He nodded then headed to the front porch, in desperate need for a nicotine hit.

Sitting on the front steps he pulled his cigarettes from his pocket and put one in his mouth, lighting it as he heard the front door creak.

"She's pregnant?" His mothers voice was quiet as Happy looked briefly over his shoulder at her before turning back to the task at hand.

"Yeah."

"Who's the father?"

"Who you think?" He muttered.

"Are you sure?" His mother was still looking trying to keep him away from scheming whores like she had when he was a teenager. But Happy didn't need a paternity test to know the kid was his. He knew Asher.

"You gotta ask that?" After all these years, his mother should have known that too.

"I guess not." Nora came to sit beside him and smoothed her flowered skirt over her knees. "Do you really want a child Happy?" He took a long drag of his cigarette and stared off into the street. Had someone asked him that ten weeks ago, he would have said no. If it had been any other bitch, it would have been no. "You want Ashers kid." His mother sighed loudly. "Have you told her you're in love with her yet?" Happy scoffed. They were living together, having a baby, he'd practically adopted Sarah, how couldn't she know he loved her?

"Yeah." He felt his mothers hand on his shoulder as she pushed herself up and he watched her leave, going back into the house, returning back to his cigarette.

"How could you be so selfish?"

It wasn't his mothers voice that dared question him.

"My Sofia can't have a child and you think it's fantastic that you got some bimbo knocked up." Tessa snapped and Happy stood up, turning around the kill the stupid old bitch. "My Sofia, my little girl that I raised while I was looking after your mother, making sure she was medicated, can't have children and _you _and _your _slut can."

"You're fuckin' kidding Tess, Asher was the one that nursed Ma through this, Asher's the one that makes sure she gets her meds. You can't get off your ass and come from Oakland even once a year to see her."

"Happy." Nora stepped back out onto the deck. "I can fight my own battles." He watched his mother step up to his aunt and fixed that old brown gaze that had scolded him many times in his life, on her own sister. "Don't you ever speak to my son like that, Tessa, his girl has looked after me for years, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I am damn proud for them to have a child together. They deserve it." Happy watched with sick satisfaction as the old bitch stalked back into the house, leaving Nora and him alone. "Happy, I love you. And if this is what you want…" He nodded slowly. This was what he wanted. She reached out and took his hand, placing something in it and closing his ringed fingers around it. "Then I am happy for you and Asher."

* * *

><p>Asher sat perched on the arm of the couch, holding an icepack to Koz's cheek.<p>

"This shoulda been iced hours ago Koz." She said softly, looking down at the ex-marine. "Do I need to ask?"

"When you got my name tattooed on your ass you can ask." He replied and Asher rolled her eyes.

_Nice _

"That's cute Herman." She answered. "This 'bout your ex-marine buddy?"

"Tig?" The movement from his question made him wince and Asher pulled the ice back a bit. "Just brothers being brothers."

"Well your brother kicked your ass." She muttered putting the ice back on his face and watching him lean back on the couch.

"Where's your old man?"

"He went down to Bakersfield to have dinner with his Ma." Kozik chuckled. "He'll be back in the morning probably."

"You know what's going on?"

"What? About them going to Belfast?" She asked. Yeah, she knew. Gemma had told her.

"Nah, 'bout Hap patching in Cali."

"Yeah he told me last night." Moving her hand slightly, she could see his blue eyes looking off into nowhere. "He didn't tell me you were too."

"Thought I'd give it a go." He shrugged, glancing up at her and Asher smiled softly. "Try again when they get back from Belfast." They fell into silence for a minute before Asher spoke.

"I went for an ultrasound today." Kozik lifted his head away from the ice and took her hand.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's perfect." She reached into her back pocket and pulled the sonogram out and held it up to him. "See?"

"Shit girl." Kozik tugged the photo from her hand and looked down at it. "It looks like a baby and everything."

"No kidding." Asher rolled her eyes and plucked the picture back from the blonde, inspecting it herself. It was kind of surreal that that little thing was growing inside her. At the thought she ran a hand over her stomach as the sound of a Harley in the driveway let her know Happy was back. Climbing off the couch she headed to the kitchen, guessing Happy probably had to talk to Kozik about something. He surprised her though, coming through the back door, Grumpy bounding ahead of him. "He was locked outside for a reason." Asher groaned as Grumpy flew down the hall, no doubt bounding towards her bed.

She didn't miss the smirk on Happys face.

"I guess dinner with your Ma went well?" She asked as he kicked off his boots and took the beer she offered, heading towards the living room.

"It's all good, babe." Then he was gone and she was watching him go.

_Her old man._

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you to everyone who alerted/reviewed! I appreciate it so much! Sorry I didn't get around to replying, but I know you all appreciate an update that little bit more. xx_


	65. Chapter 65

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

This Chapter is set twelve hours before NS. I don't really like writing into the show because I always like the idea of what goes on behind the scenes. Let me know if you hate it!

You can all thank Black Caviar for the update- Last night she became the worlds best sprint racehorse. She's run twenty-three races and won every single one, including the Diamond Jubilee stakes at Royal Ascot in England last night. It's thanks to her my boss (my job being breeding racehorses) thought we'd celebrate with a long lunchbreak- hence the update. Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Five – Blue Jeans <strong>

_Big dreams, gangster  
>Said you had to leave to start your life over<br>I was like: "no please, stay here,"  
>We don't need no money we can make it all work<br>But he headed out on Sunday, said he'd come home Monday  
>I stayed up waitin', anticipatin' and pacin' but he was<br>Chasing paper  
>"Caught up in the game" that was the last I heard<em>

_I will love you till the end of time_  
><em>I would wait a million years<em>  
><em>Promise you'll remember that you're mine<em>  
><em>Baby can you see through the tears?<em>  
><em>Love you more<em>  
><em>Than those bitches before<em>  
><em>Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember<em>  
><em>I will love you till the end of time<em>  
><em>-<strong>Lana Del Rey<strong>_

**Charming, CA**

**20****th**** June 2008**

Asher stopped cutting up the vegetables as her phone rang and she reached over the counter to pick it up. She pressed Send and cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder going back to chopping.

"Hello?"

"_I'd like to speak to Asher Hayden." _

Asher tossed the carrots into the pan along with the potatoes and pumpkins.

"Speaking."

"_Miss Hayden, this is Steven Gaines from Gaines and Gaines Solicitors in Seattle. We've been trying to get a hold of you for some time now." _Asher furrowed her brows, she hadn't ever had anything to do with lawyers.

"What's this about?"

"_I'm sorry, Miss Hayden, I am the solicitor whom Peter Davies wanted to execute his will._" Pete? Pete had been just thirty, why would he have had a will?

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes ma'am. We have Judith Davies and Asher Hayden listed here as the sole benefactors of Mr Davies estate." _It sounded strange to think of Pete having an estate. "_As the executor, I was asked to handle Mr Davies affairs with upmost discretion, as you can believe, it's been difficult to track you down quickly whilst respecting Mr Davies wishes." _

"I'm sorry, I just moved house, I didn't have a chance to redirect my address."

"_That's fine Miss Hayden, we can make an appointment for the next time you're in Seattle to get the paperwork done and the funds transferred." _Pete had left half of his money to her? It struck her as weird. Sure Pete didn't have any brothers or sisters left, only his mother and she was his friend, but she thought he'd give the money to the club, or at least Lorca.

"Oh okay, let me get your number and I'll call you." The lawyer rattled off his name and the phone number as Asher quickly scribbled them down on an old receipt on the kitchen bench before ending the call and looking down at the details.

It had been two months since Pete had been shot in Tacoma. Since she'd tried to save his life and watched him bleed out while her hands were coated in his blood. He'd told her he loved her- the first man to ever say those three words to her and the first person she'd actually told she was pregnant. It had been two months since her best friend was shot and killed and she was forced into this world for good.

The slamming of the front door made her lift her head from the receipt and tuck it into her pocket of her jeans which were unbuttoned at the top. They were her oldest jeans, stretched from years of wear, but yet she still had to let the button out because her fourteen week old bump was pushing on the fabric under her tank top.

He moved stealth like a cat through the house, but Asher could see his shadow on the walls thanks to the dim lamps lit around the house. When he walked into the kitchen she watched him enter, the Redwood Original still bright white on his cut.

They hadn't had a chance to celebrate because two days later, Happy was flying out to Belfast with the rest of the Sons to find Abel. Asher had felt helpless, she wanted to help, and then some psycho Mexican had taken an apparently pregnant Tara Knowles and Margaret Murphy, the lady that had employed Asher, hostage. Asher had tried to help, but Kozik had told her to back off. He didn't need another old lady getting hurt. And for once Asher listened. Because she could see it on his face he was scared about something, and she knew Happy would kill him if anything happened to her or their baby.

"How's Jax doing?" Asher asked, when he reached over and took a diced up carrot chunk of the chopping board and stuck it in his mouth.

"Aight." Good. Now Jax had his baby and his Old Lady, not to mention another one on the way, she really hoped things could work out for him. "How ya doin'?" Happy asked, leaning against the bench and looking down at her.

"I'm good." She gave him a smile. She was good, she hadn't realised how much she'd missed him while he was in Ireland until he'd come back. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe she could wait it out for him in jail afterall. Ten years was a far cry from five days though.

"Sarah back?"

"She's just packing. Her parents are taking her to Sacramento tomorrow afternoon." She tried not to cry at the thought of her daughter going away to College. Happy reached into his cut and pulled out an envelope. "What's this?" Asher asked as he handed it to her.

"Get her a car. It won't get her anythin' flash, but knowin' you you'll con the salesman outta something." She opened the envelope and saw all the notes inside it. She had a little bit of money stashed away from when her father had died, together she could get Sarah something decent. "Take it down to the shop and get one of the boys to check it over before she drives it anywhere but."

"Thank you."

"You an' me, we looked after her better than her parents ever did, Ash." Asher smiled slightly. Yeah they had. Happy had saved her life and Asher had done her best to fix her. "We gotta sort some shit out, how longs that gunna take?" he asked gesturing to the food.

"Not long."

"Aight, I'm gunna shower." He pushed himself off the bench and went to walk away but paused, turning back to her and wrapping his large hand around the back of her neck, without saying a word and leant down to press a kiss to her lips before he was gone.

This was the calm before the storm, even though he hadn't said anything about their impending sentence or what had happened in Ireland, she knew him and he wouldn't be handing her envelopes of cash and giving her a pep talk if things weren't about to go down.

Happy Lowman did not talk to make noise.

* * *

><p>Sarah looked over at Asher and Happy who were sitting quietly at the kitchen table, the tension palpable. Asher was pushing her food around her plate, her head down and Happy was leaning on the table heavily, his hand around the beer bottle.<p>

"I'm going out." She said after another minute and stood up, clearing hers and Happys plates. "Don't wait up." Asher and Happy wouldn't stop her. They needed time alone. Dumping the plates into the sink, she grabbed her bag from the hook near the back door and walked out into the warm night air. Pulling her phone out she dialled and held her phone to her ear.

"Yeah?"

"Interrupting your blow job?" She asked and heard a laugh.

"Where are you?"

"Outside my house." The phone clicked and she smirked as she leant against the back of the Camaro in the driveway. Five minutes later the Harley Dyna was in front of her, the cute biker looking up at her.

"Wanna get outta here?" He asked, taking off his helmet and tossing it to her.

"You have no idea." Sliding on the back, she clung to him as he pulled out onto the street and took off into the night.

He took her to a diner on the edge of town and they ordered, sitting in one of the booths across from each other and sharing a bowl of fries while they waited for their burgers.

"Thought being back in the states you'd be partying. Gunna pick yourself up some floozys? Party like its nineteen ninety-nine?" Sarah asked popping a fry in her mouth and chewing slowly.

"That'd been the plan."

"Yet here you are." She hadn't missed the fact that he'd dropped everything to come and hang out with her. She hadn't seen him since they'd come back from Belfast and she'd hoped that the time apart might help cement the 'friends' part of their agreement. But it hadn't. If anything it had made things worse. It had been four weeks since she'd kissed him on the pool table in the SAMCRO clubhouse. And even if the memory was a little fuzzy, the feeling she'd had wasn't.

Juice threw her one of his gorgeous smiles and Sarah bit her lip, looking down at her fries.

"Hadn't seen ya for awhile, thought you mighta gone back to Tacoma."

"As if Asher would let me go back to Tacoma." Sarah laughed to herself. "I leave for College tomorrow."

"Already?"

"Yeah, I got into this course over the summer, my parents are taking me down there." Sarah had been hoping her parents might surprise her with a car or something, but so far it hadn't been mentioned.

"What're you studying?" He sipped on his soda and wiped his hand over his mouth.

"I'm doing an art course over the summer then studying Psych at College."

"You gunna come back to little old Charming and analyse us small-town folk?" He chuckled and Sarah shrugged, the smile stretching across her face.

"If I remember you're from Queens, isn't that like New York?"

"Oh, so you have been listening?" He asked and Sarah shrugged.

_Maybe. _

"So if you're heading off to College, you even coming back to Charming?" Sarah looked up at those brown eyes. He was honestly asking.

"Charmings where my family is now. Asher, Happy, Kozik, they're my family not the people in Tacoma." Sarah replied.

"How'dya parents feel about that?"

_How did her parents feel about it?_

Thrilled?

They had two perfect Sons, one in the marines and one patched into SAMTAC, the last thing they wanted was a rebellious teenage daughter that had more issues then they were equipped to handle.

"They don't mind."

* * *

><p>Happy sat at the head of the table while Asher pushed her food around her plate. Ever since he'd told her they needed to talk she'd felt anxious. Like the storm was closing in.<p>

"You gunna eat that?" Happy voice made her snap her head up and she looked over at him.

"No. What did you want to talk about?" Putting down her fork, she pushed the plate away. Instead of answering he stood up and leant over to take the plate from in front of her, walking into the kitchen and dumping the plate in the sink, grabbing his keys off the counter.

"Come on, let's go for a ride." Asher stood up and followed him towards the door, pulling her boots on over her jeans. "Here." As she stood up, Happy handed her his hoodie and she wrapped it tightly around her self, zipping the warm fabric up and following him out of the house. A few days ago, after he'd returned from Belfast, she'd sat up on the seat of his Dyna, her elbows on the purple and black airbrushed tank as she watched him work on the bike. It was one of those rare moments when it was just them and the silence. The silence though, hadn't lasted long, Sarah had come flying out of the house with her camera in hand, taking photos as Happy worked going on about them needing some family snaps. Through all the yammering on Sarahs part, Happy had caught Ashers eye and given her a small smile. "You aight?" Happys voice interrupted her thoughts and Asher nodded, letting him sling his leg over the bike before following suit, putting the helmet he offered on.

Last time they'd just gone for a ride, she'd ended up telling him she'd give up everything for him and move to Charming.

"Hold on." He ordered and she wrapped her arms tightly around him and pressed her cheek into his cut.

* * *

><p>Sarah leant back into the soft leather of the diner booth and looked across the road as Juice finished inhaling his second burger. It was getting late, but she didn't care. It wasn't like she had to go to school tomorrow. She'd graduated a week ago and was finally free of high school and all its shit. This was a new start. Time to grow up and face the music and deal with the crap life handed her. Asher wasn't always going to be there to hold her hand anymore. Happy wouldn't be there to save her when the world fell apart. It was time to take a deep breath and embrace life and all that clichéd shit.<p>

"Come on." Sarah stood up from the booth and looked across at the biker in the booth seat.

"Where are we going?" Juice asked, standing up and dropping a few bills on the table.

"To be young." She replied and took his hand, leading him out of the diner. They bypassed the bike and jogged across the road under the streetlamps.

"Where are we going?" Juice chuckled as Sarah pulled him into the motel across the road.

"Shhhh." She hissed, grinning up at him. They made their way towards the blue lamps that overhung the swimming pool of the dodgy motel and Sarah lifted the safety latch on the gate, kicking it open and pulling him inside.

"We could get caught Sarah." He laughed, but Sarah knew the chances of them getting in trouble were slim to none. Places like this didn't have security. She used to do it all the time in Tacoma.

"You're meant to be a bad ass biker and you're worried about getting caught by a seedy old man with a receding hairline in a wifebeater?" She asked, turning to face him and backing up to the pool, letting his hand go.

"Yeah, kinda, especially if he has a shotgun." Juice replied, that smile still on his face. God she loved that smile.

"Come on, Juan Carlos, live a little." She replied, dropping her bag on the concrete around the pool and leaning down to pull her boots off.

"How'd you find out my real name?" He stepped forward and Sarah straightened up, tossing her boots in the same direction as her bag.

"You have your ways, I have mine." Hers being Kozik. "Last one ins shouting the beer." She added, stepping up to him and grinning. He moved quickly then, pulling off his cut and his boots, tossing his shirt over his head, letting Sarah see the fully extent of his toned abs and chest.

_Goddamn._

"See something you like?" Juice asked, obviously seeing her eyes rake over his body.

"Nope." Sarah popped her lips with the words before reaching down to the hem of her loose dress and pulling it over her head and tossing it in his face. "Beers on you." She shouted, before turning around and diving into the pool, emerging out of the cool water just as Juice pulled off his jeans and bomb dived in after her. She shrieked as he jumped over the top of her and ducked out of the way as the water erupted around him, laughing when he came up for air that same goofy grin on his face.

"You cheated." He gasped, breast stroking his way towards her.

"Never." Sarah kicked herself back in the water and tried to get away but he snagged her foot, dragging her towards him. She couldn't help but giggle as he let her go so she was treading water right in front of him. His skin was glistening in the dim light and she brought her hand up to trace over the contours of his bicep. When she flicked her eyes up to his face he was watching her intently and she could feel his hand resting on the curve of her waist, between the waistband of her panties and the band of her bra. It put her at ease, it reminded her that Juice could be trusted. She let him see her grin for a second before she used her other hand to come up and push him under water, propelling herself away as quickly as possible before he could get a grip on her.

He came up spluttering and Sarah freestyled over to the shallower end of the pool, setting her feet on the ground and turning around only to be tackled under the water. The water filled her mouth and her nostrils, but before panic could set in she was easily hoisted out of the water and propped up against someones chest.

"Next time you won't be so cocky." Juice laughed as Sarah pushed her hair out of her face and shoved away from him, smiling the whole time.

"Next time? You wish." Juice just rolled his eyes and went over to the side of the pool to pull himself out but Sarah had seen the scars on his back, her hand going out to touch them making him stop mid jump. Her finger traced the lines down near his kidney, the pink skin puckered under her finger. She saw movement and looked up to see Juice looking at her over his shoulder.

"Never seen a chivving scar?" Sarah swallowed the lump in her throat. Juice had been chivvied? Why would anyone want to do that to do that Juice?

"No." She rasped. She lifted her hand quickly, remembering how sensitive she was about her own scars. Juice turned around in the water to face her, his chest almost touching hers and his eyes on her face, not on her cleavage.

"It's aight, it's just a scar."

_It was just a scar. _

Physically or emotionally, they were just scars.

Looking down she laced her fingers in his and lifted his hand up whilst lifting her other wrist, underside up and placing his thumb on the inked skin of her wrist, where the long thin pink scar lay.

"Mines bigger." She whispered, lifting her head again. "But it's healing."

"I can tell."

"Does it disgust you?" Sarah asked. His brow furrowed and he looked even cuter.

"Huh?"

"Does this disgust you?" She asked again.

"What that guy did to you was disgusting Sarah." She felt her heart sink to her stomach. He was disgusted. Juice dropped her wrist as she closed her eyes and begged herself not to cry, when she felt warm hands on either side of her face. "But that doesn't make you disgusting. You are the bravest person I have ever met. Look at all the shit you've been through, and here you are, looking so fuckin' cute. You're still here. You didn't let it get you."

"You don't know me as well as you think you do Juan Carlos."

"I never said I did Sarah. I just want to _get_ to know you."

She didn't need valentines

She didn't need words like 'love' and 'forever'

She didn't need promises

She needed someone who could look her in the eye and be honest with her

She needed a Son.

Sarah wasn't sure who made the first move, but it didn't matter, once Juices lips were on hers it was like everything else faded away. His lips were soft at first, testing whether she really wanted this. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck and pulled herself into him, pressing up against his chest. She felt his arms twine around her waist, his warm hands pushing through the water to spread across her back. The moan she got from him when she raked her nails down his neck from the base of his Mohawk to his shoulders made her pull herself closer to him. Sarah felt his lips pull away from hers and whimpered a bit from the loss of contact.

"You sure you wanna do this?" He asked softly, his hand leaving her back and coming up to her face again. Sarah nodded, she did want this.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>When Happy killed the engine on the bike Asher lifted her head and looked around.<p>

"Where are we?" She asked, looking around the site. It was dark, but the light on Happys bike was shining on a big flat rock in front of them. Asher slid off the bike and unstrapped Happys helmet, putting it on the seat of his bike as he swung off and she moved to stand in front of the bike in the light.

"It's the old Bluebird site, Sons used to keep their guns out here." Asher nodded, moving to sit on the large rock.

"What happened to it?" In the edges of the light she could see the ruins of a building.

"It got burnt down by Mayans last year." At the name of the Sons rival club she felt a chill go down her spine. Looking around the desolate space she thought she better point out the obvious.

"Is this the part where you murder me?" This got a chuckle from the man in front of her, as he too moved into the light.

"Baby girl, if I wanted you dead- you'd be dead." Yeah, she was well aware of that.

"What did you bring me all the way out here for then Hap?" she asked, wrapping his hoodie tighter around herself.

"No ears out here." He shrugged.

_No kidding. _

"Okay…"

"You wanted me to tell you when we had a plan to get outta doing time." He explained and Asher suddenly realised the need for privacy.

"Hmm."

"Jax cut a deal with ATF." This made her sit up straighter. She hadn't had a run in with the woman that Tara informed her was a right bitch. The ATF agent that had been trying to send them all away for the last year.

"What? You mean he ratted?"

"Nah, it's not like that." Asher rose her eyebrow. "Look we needed ATF to get to Belfast without gettin' picked up. Jax agreed to give her the Irish Kings to get Gemma off and get us outta doing hard time." Asher had a hard time believing that Happy was okay with this. Sons didn't like rats. "Look, we all knew he was makin' the deal- he came to the club first. He's got the deal Ash. Gemmas gunna get off, we're not doing ten years." What he was actually saying was finally starting to make sense. "We've got a few loose ends to tie up, but Jax knows what he's doin'." Asher suddenly didn't give a shit about the damn club.

"How long?" She swore she saw his teeth emerge behind his lips.

"Five years, parole in fourteen months."

_Fourteen months_

That was a far cry from ten years.

She felt her heart rate speed up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She literally threw herself off the rock and into his arms, wrapping herself tightly around the man in front of her.

"You could back before his first birthday?" Happy nodded.

"That's the plan." This was really happening. She was getting her family, but the tears were already pouring down her face. "Hey whats with the tears?"

"Good behaviours not really your thing." He pushed her head back and leant down to press a kiss to her lips.

"Yeah, I know girl." He growled, reaching between them into his cut and pulling out something between his thumb and forefinger. In the light, Asher could make out the shape of a ring. "It ain't like that or anything." He muttered, and she knew he meant marriage. "It was my ma's. My old man gave it to her for their first anniversary or something. Something to remind you who owns that ass until I get back and ink ya." Asher bit her lip, slowly reaching up to take the ring from his fingers and slide it easily onto her middle finger on her right hand. In his hands it looked tiny, but once it was on her finger it looked huge. It was either silver or white gold, she couldn't tell in the light, but the design on it was rows upon rows of black crystals in the shape of a wave over the bottom part of her finger.

"Thanks Hap." She said quietly, wiping away the onslaught of tears. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah." Asher watched the clench of his jaw.

"Why do I get the feeling we're doing this because something's about to go down?" She whispered, feeling his hands heavy on her hips.

"Because it is girl, tomorrow." Her hands came loose and she pushed herself away from him.

"Tomorrow?" She choked.

"Yeah."

"You're going to jail- tomorrow?" Her knees felt wobbly and she dropped onto the rock again.

_Shit. _

She could see his fingers kneading the back of his neck as he looked down at her with frustration. The tears were gathering again, rapidly and her vision was blurred. Damn baby. She just sat staring down at her hands in her lap. She was reduced to a feeble little girl all because he'd told her he was leaving tomorrow. At least he'd told her. Taking a deep breath she forced herself to be the girl that Happy loved. The one that was brave and tough and could handle this relationship.

"You better not be expecting a blow job out of this." She quipped, quirking an eyebrow.

"We'll see 'bout that." Asher screeched when Happy leant over and threw her over his shoulder.

"Happy!" She shrieked, slapping him on the back.

"Pipe down Hooker."

* * *

><p>Sarah had never been so nervous in her life. She'd been scared and she'd been anxious. But this was good nervous. Somehow Juice had gotten them a room, neither of them wanting to get back on the bike and go back to the clubhouse. It wasn't fancy, but Sarah didn't care, all that mattered was the man in front of her was trustworthy. And god was he proving it. His large tanned fingers traced gently over her skin, followed by his lips as she lay underneath him on the bed. He'd put his jeans and shirt back on when he'd gone to get them the room, and she'd pulled her dress back on, the loose fabric clinging to her wet skin.<p>

"If you want to stop, just say…" Juice whispered quietly and Sarah wondered if he was usually like this with girls, but immediately pushed that thought from her head.

"It's okay Juice." She gasped, feeling the jolt all down her body as he pulled her dress off, leaving her lying there in her underwear. He followed with his own shirt and Sarah reached out to trace her fingers over the contours of his chest as he knelt above her.

"You like that?" he chuckled and Sarah blushed, yelping when he leant down over her and suddenly flipped them so she was straddling his hips. "That's better."

_This guy. _

Taking the initiative, Sarah leant down and pressed her lips to his, running her hands over his chest. He kissed her back, softly at first, like usual before he swept his tongue into her mouth. He tasted like ketchup and soda. For some reason it tasted great. Pulling away she reached behind her and unclasped her bra, tossing it away and watching Juice's eyes widen.

"You're beautiful." Juice flipped them over again, pressing his chest into hers, his hands gripping her thighs as he pressed his lips to hers before trailing his lips down her neck, across her collarbone, making her gasp when he lapped his tongue over her breast, rolling the nipple between his teeth, making her arch off the bed.

"Oh my god." She'd fooled around with guys, been groped at parties, but this was different. She trusted Juice not to hurt her and she had no idea why. She could feel him smile as he let go and continued his journey downwards his tongue lapping at her skin. Juices fingers tugged at her panties, and Sarah lifted her hips to allow him to slip them from her legs, taking his time to run his hands over her skin as he went. Not for the first time she felt her body jolt off the bed when his tongue lapped at her thigh and moved its way inwards.

"Holy shit." His tongue pressed against her and she gripped the duvet below her. It didn't take long before her mind went fuzzy with pleasure and she threw her head back and gasped his name.

He pulled away and she slumped heavily onto the bed, her chest heaving as she came down. Juice was grinning from ear to ear, obviously proud of himself. Sarah reached out to him and he immediately came back to her, his whole body pressed up against her, his belt buckle digging into her stomach with his erection. Their tongues met almost before their lips did and Sarah wrapped all her limbs around the man above her, not caring about anything other than making him feel as good as she did.

Using one hand she reached down and flicked his belt buckle with ease, but before she could go any further his hand wrapped around her wrist.

"We don't have to." He gasped and Sarah could tell it was taking a lot of willpower, willpower she didn't have.

"I want to." Sarah didn't give him a chance to hesitate, using both her hands to unbutton his jeans and push them off his hips. He stood up and kicked them off, taking off his boxers as well. Sarah pushed herself up to admire the view as he moved towards her. The only thoughts in her mind were about the guy that no one would ever expect to have been the man she would grow to trust. The one that she would give herself to.

* * *

><p>"Am I allowed to come and visit you this time?" Asher asked quietly as she lay on Happys chest.<p>

"You think you can keep it in your pants?" he replied gruffly and Asher smirked.

"Well won't have to worry about you, you'll probably make Juice your little bitch." She teased, feeling his chest rise with a chuckle.

"Little Rican's more Bobbys type." He swept his hand down Ashers back and she lifted her head to rest her chin over his heart, the sparkling ring on her hand in front of her face. The underside of his chin was peppered with stubble, patches of grey evident in the dark hair.

"Sorry, I meant Jax- I know you have a thing for blondes."

"You're getting mouthy bitch." He growled, rolling them over so she was trapped underneath him. "Am I gunna have to teach you another lesson?" The words were threatening, but she knew he was just teasing.

"Hmm." She groaned, dropping her head back as his stubble rubbed on her neck. "You never answered my question."

"You wanna come, come." He shrugged, not letting up on the gentle nips he was placing on her neck.

"Fine, I will."

* * *

><p>"You alright?" Sarah lay with her back pressed into Juices chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her.<p>

"Yeah…" She said with a faint smile on her face. It hadn't hurt as much as she'd thought and not once had she freaked out.

"It'll get better with practice." Juice said into the back of Sarahs neck and she nodded as his arms tightened around her slightly.

"Are we spooning?" Sarah teased looking over her shoulder at him.

"Maybe…"

"Thought Sons didn't spoon?" She turned over in his arms and looked up at him.

"I'm not just any Son darling." He was so cute. She could honestly stay like this forever. The only man she remembered feeling this safe in his arms was Happy, and the events associated with that feeling weren't as good as this one. They were silent for a few minutes and she thought he might have gone to sleep when he spoke again. "You looking forward to going to College?"

"Sort of." She said quietly. "I mean, I'm going to miss Asher."

"You guys are pretty close, huh?"

"Yeah…" No one could compare what Asher and Sarah had. They weren't friends or sisters or mother and daughter. They were all of those things combined, plus more.

"How come you ended up living with her?"

"A Son that spoons and does pillow talk." Sarah quipped and felt his fingers tighten on her skin in warning. "Asher was there when it happened- I don't think she ever really got over it, so when I ended up in hospital she told my parents she was taking me back to Seattle with her. Practically told my parents she could do the job better." She kept her voice soft and didn't look up at him.

"Can she?"

"Yeah she gets things a lot easier than my parents did." She said quietly. "If she didn't, Happy usually set her straight."

"You like Happy?" Juice was doing a very good job at keeping the focus on her.

"Wouldn't be here without him." She finally took a look up at him, "He saved my life more than once."

"Not many people can say that about Hap."

"Not many people know Happy like I do. Are your parents still in Queens?" She asked, snuggling into his side.

"My mum is. Never knew my dad."

"That sucks." She said quietly.

"Nah, my mum married this guy when I was ten, so I never missed out on the overbearing dad side of it all." This made Sarah smile. Yeah she knew all about overbearing dads. She had had one and a shitload of overbearing uncles. "You want me to take you home?"

"I'm okay here."

"Yeah….me too."

* * *

><p>Happy lay on his back, the girl with the most intriguing blonde hair stretched out across his chest, her hair covering his shoulder as he played with it. In the dim glow of the bedside lamp he watched her back rise and fall in time with his own. They never slept like this. Usually she slept on her back and he slept on his stomach, more often then not, he slept on top of her rather than the other way around. But neither of them were sleeping, just enjoying the quiet in the company of one another.<p>

Happy was forced back to the last time he'd been about to go away, when he'd laid her out on the piano in the Tacoma clubhouse and tattooed the club on her. It had been a selfish move back then, but now he wished he'd written his name in big letters all over her. Because he missed his chance. He wasn't going to ink her while she was knocked up and he was going away to jail- she'd be free for all in his brothers eyes.

Her hand with the sparkly ring his mother had given him to give to her reached across his abdomen and traced the ink on his forearm, the words tangled into the flowers there, similar to the words on the rosary beads on her own wrist.

_The Blessed_

Shit. Who was he kidding? Asher wasn't any old Lady, she was loyal, faithful. She hadn't slept with another man since he'd put the foot down years ago. She wasn't going to stray over some jail sentence. She was a tough bitch, his tough bitch. If he believed in destiny or any of that shit he'd be certain they were destined to be in this fucked up relationship. Their names meant the same thing. Circumstance had brought them together countless times over the years and they shared a bond in the girl they both saw as a daughter.

There was no way in hell she'd let another man, or a brother near her. He had that much faith in her. Anyway she'd be showing properly in a few weeks. Enough for everyone to see she was off limits. No one was going to try and make a play on a pregnant bitch, no matter how damn pretty those eyes of hers were. Or how tempting that smile was. Loyal bitches like her, you didn't let go.

Ever.

* * *

><p>AN: Review! I just realised that my favourite character in Home and Away (Darryl Braxton)'s father in the show is played by Andy McPhee who is McGee in Season 3 of Sons. That's right Aussies in Sons- win!


	66. Chapter 66

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

**Thank you all so much for your reviews! Big thank you to James90 and Amanda who were guest reviewers! To those who logged in I hope you got all my PM's! Please enjoy this chapter- the more reviews- the faster I'll update (hint hint nudge nudge) **

**Also bit of advertising (free)- if you're enjoying this story please check out the lovely LoveInk's story "Hands All Over". She came over to SOA with me from Fast and the Furious forums and I was never a huge Juice/OC fan and lets say she's converted me. For the Happy lovers out there who don't already know- my favourite Happy fics EVER are coming to a close and they're by Happys Hitwoman. I just want to share the goodness people. **

**Also...sorry I'm dragging this out a bit...but for those who love Jax, Charlie Hunnam is the main character in my favourite movie EVER - "Green Street Hooligans." Contains all the violence one could wish for, plus a very smexy Charlie. **

**Enjoy! **

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Six – This Charming Life <strong>

_I wanna be with you all the time  
>Every day every night you're my déjà vu<br>It sounds obsessive but I think it's fine  
>When you're gone all I do is think of you<br>I live in love with you this Charming Life __**  
>-Joan Armatrading<strong>_

**Charming CA **

**21****st**** June 2008**

Sarah woke curled up into something incredibly warm. She snuggled closer to it, Asher must have let Grumpy into her room last night. At the movement, she felt something come around her shoulders and she jerked up, flying back as quickly as possible, hitting the carpeted floor in seconds and taking in the scene in front of her.

Juice was sitting up, looking at her, his hand held out.

"Its aight, Sarah, it's just me." She looked around the room and saw the clothes scattered about, the memory slowly seeping into her vision.

She'd slept with Juice.

And hadn't had an ounce of alcohol in her. Glancing down she realised she was naked and made a grab for the sheets on the bed, her brain still trying to catch up with the situation.

"You okay?" She sunk into the mattress, her back to Juice as she held the sheet to her chest.

"I'll be okay in a sec."

"Sarah…" She looked over her shoulder at him. He looked honestly worried, like he'd done something wrong. Which he hadn't. He'd been perfect. What guy could have taken their circumstances and handled it so well?

"It's not your fault." She turned her body around to face him properly, kneeling on the bed, the sheet still held to her chest. "I just forgot where I was."

"You sure?" Sarah nodded. "You want me to take you home?" The red lights from the digital clock on the nightstand told her it was six am.

"Yeah that'd be good." Without being embarrassed Juice threw back the covers and stood up, every inch of his perfect body bare and Sarah watched on as he pulled on his clothes, one article at a time. He went to walk past her towards the bathroom, but Sarah called out his name.

"Yeah?" It took a lot of courage, but she dropped the sheet and stood up, walking up to him and standing on tiptoes to press her lips to his.

"Thank you." He gave her what Asher called a playboy smile before heading into the bathroom, letting Sarah get dressed and compose herself.

* * *

><p>Asher woke with a start. On instinct she reached out to grab whatever part of Happy she could find, only to hit bare mattress. It was still warm so she knew he'd only just left. Crawling out of bed she found one of his t-shirts, some panties and a pair of shorts in case Sarah or Kozik were around, before heading out of the room.<p>

"Watch it." She heard Happy snap and headed down the hall to the spare room that she hadn't gotten around to emptying lately. When she reached the doorway she looked in to see two prospects moving furniture around the now clean spare room. She took each piece of furniture in one at a time. The changing table, the rocking chair, the cot with the mobile above it. Happy had gotten her a nursery.

"Shit." She gasped, making all three sets of eyes turn to look at her.

"Jesus, Asher, it ain't finished yet." Happy walked towards her wrapping an arm around her stomach and pulled her away from the room. "What're you doing up?"

"I woke up without you. Is that a…" They were standing out in the hallway as Asher gestured back to the spare room. Happy did that thing with his neck muscles that made her aware that this made him uncomfortable.

"Thought I better do somethin' before I leave."

"Can I see it properly?" She asked quietly and he gestured for her to go ahead, now that the surprise was ruined. "Wow." The Prospects stopped touching up paint under the windowsill and packed up their stuff. "Thank you." Asher said as the Prospects scuttled past her, no doubt getting death glared by the man behind her. They muttered their 'your welcomes' before getting out of there. Asher stepped across the threshold and ran her fingers over the wooden changing table and the railing of the cot before stopping at the rocking chair that had the old knitted blanket draped over it. It wasn't a fancy nursery. But it was a nursery. A set of shelves had been brought in, books already lined up. She couldn't make out the titles without her glasses on, but instead sat down in the old rocking chair and running her hands over the arm rests. It had been her mothers. She remembered it being in the garage at her grandparents place and sitting in it when her and her cousins had been playing hide and seek. "Madster helped?"

"Yeah, she felt like shit for the way she acted." Happy growled and Asher quirked her eyebrow. Happy was still smarting from her grandmothers reaction of their pregnancy. Madster had been less than tactful when Asher had blurted out the news at the dinner table while Happy sat beside her, the night before he headed to Belfast. She had practically called their child devil spawn. And not because Happy was the father, but more or less that Asher was the mother. As far as Madster had been concerned in the heat of the moment, Asher was going to end up just like her mother. She'd later called and apologised profusely, sobbing on the phone at how much she missed Molly and Asher. "So the old bitch should."

"I wasn't exactly innocent Hap." Screaming at her grandmother that she was an ungrateful old bitch was not Ashers proudest moment. She didn't bother asking how Madster had snuck the furniture down without her knowing about it.

"So you fuckin' like it or not?" He changed the subject, gesturing to the room.

"What time did you have those poor prospects here doing this?"

"They were here when we got back." He said, that smile tugging at his lip and Asher slapped a hand over her mouth in horror. She hadn't exactly been quiet last night. He got great satisfaction out of that.

"You ass. But its beautiful. Thank you." She leant back in the chair and surveyed the room again, her hand resting on her stomach. "I'm surprised you didn't have Sarah in here slaving away." The almost-smile disappeared, replaced with a serious look that had Asher furrowing her brow. "What?"

"Kid didn't come home last night." Asher tried to ignore the panic in her throat. Sarah was a big girl, she was probably out with friends. Probably stayed at someones house. As if on cue, the sound of a motorcycle could be heard on the driveway.

Well that explained where she was.

"Come back to bed Hap." Asher scrambled out of the chair and walked over to take his hand, tugging him towards the bedroom.

"Nah, I got a brother that needs talkin' to." He pulled away but Asher held fast.

"Hap, leave them. They're young." She tugged his hand again but he ignored her so she let him go and pressed up against him. "We've got a few hours Hap, come and show me who owns this ass." She purred. Well that got a reaction. Seconds later the bedroom door was slamming behind them and she was tossed onto the bed.

* * *

><p>Sarah stuck her key in the lock of the front door and turned it slowly. Juice had asked if she wanted him to come with her, but at the sight of the Harley with the black and purple tank parked next to the red Camaro in the drive, she knew better. With what the romantic in her would say was a chaste kiss, Juice had nodded, given her one of those damn smiles and taken off.<p>

Now it was a matter of getting back into the house without getting caught. As soon as she heard the lock click though she winced as the barking started up. She quickly shoved the door open, hissing at the pitbull that was flying towards her to shut the fuck up. Grumpy skidded to a stop in front of her and looked up at her, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

"You're a shit guard dog." She hissed at him as she quietly shut the front door and kicked off her boots next to Ashers and Happys before tiptoeing down the hall hoping the bike and the stupid dog hadn't woken her guardians. As she went quietly past their door, she heard Ashers distinctive giggle and winced, hurrying along to get out of earshot as soon as possible. They must have known she wasn't there if they were at it this early in the morning. Just as she went past the spare room she paused and back stepped a bit, stopping in the doorway. "Holy shit." The room that had once been white was now a soft green, a white cot in the corner next to a wooden change table. There was a mobile hanging over the cot with tiny little blue teddy bears hanging from it. The mobile was familiar, she'd pulled it out of the bag of things Kozik had handed her with a quiet whisper weeks ago. She'd given Happy the bag of gifts from SAMTAC to give to Asher when he was ready. She could imagine Bella going to the trouble of finding the little mobile in the baby shops, pretending that she never wanted a baby. Because the tough queen bitch of Tacoma would never ask for anything.

The room was beautiful. It was a testament to how Happy felt about the girl they both loved to death. It was reassuring to know that he was capable of that kind of gesture.

She heard another giggle from the room next door and hightailed it down to her own room, looking forward to a shower before facing the wrath of her guardians. Or more likely Happy.

* * *

><p>"Sarah! We've got breakfast at the clubhouse!" Asher called through the door on her way to the laundry. As much as she'd wanted to curl up in bed with Happy forever, her mind wouldn't let her, she needed to keep focussed. She'd had her cry when Happy had found her in the shower not long after he'd made her come in record time, and held her to his chest, before comforting her in the only way he knew how, with slow movements and muttered apologies as he'd slid into her as she leaned back against the shower wall.<p>

Now showered and back in her pyjamas and it was only six-forty-five, she needed to get a start on her day before she fell apart. The monotonous task of washing was easy to focus on as she shook loose change from Happys pockets and sprayed stain remover on all her whites, too lazy to wash them separately. Picking up yesterdays jeans she stuck her hand in the pocket and pulled out the crumpled receipt, momentarily forgetting what it was.

"You gunna get dressed?" Happys voice came from the doorway as he looked her over. Asher looked down at her Sons t-shirt and little shorts and sighed. She'd try to squeeze into something. Maybe she had a dress somewhere.

"In a minute."

"Whatya got there?" he asked, seeing the receipt in her hand and Asher looked back down at the number in her hand, debating whether to tell him about the phonecall she'd gotten yesterday. She dropped her hand to the washer and turned her upper body to face him.

"I got a call from a solicitor yesterday who was executing Pete's will." She said watching his face from any sort of reaction as he leant against the doorway, half his body hidden by the wall. "He said Pete left me something."

"Aight." The fact that he wasn't surprised, surprised her.

"You knew…" She shouldn't have been surprised. Not much got past Happy.

"Figured he would." People that said Happy wasn't capable of feeling anything were fools. She'd seen Happy at his most possessive, in the ring, in Sacramento after she'd been smacked around by Cameron McEvoy, yet his brother had told Asher he loved her, then left half his _estate_ to her and he was cool with that. He loved Pete like a real brother and could forgive him for those things in death. That made Asher love him just that little bit more. "I moved all that shit from the spare room into the garage." He added then he reached into his cut and pulled out a large manila envelope and tossed it towards her. "Found that in an old box." He said and Asher looked down at the envelope with her name written on the front. It was the same envelope Bill Hayden had given her after Pete's funeral. "What is it?"

"I don't know. Bill Hayden gave it to me." She said seeing the seal hadn't been broken on the envelope.

"Aight." He reached into his cut again and pulled out a small leather bound book. "All the shit you need to take care of is in here. Ma's doctors and Pineys friends numbers in here." Asher already had all Nora's details written down. "Cash is in a locked box at the back of the closet." He reached into his cut and took out a ring of keys and put the book on the washer. "Keys to the box, Tacoma clubhouse, Ma's house..." He held up each key as he rattled out the purpose and Asher felt the sob claw at her throat as she took note of all the things he said. When he finished the keys went with the book and he pulled out a cell phone. "Emergency line for Charming clubhouse." He shook it at her. "Koziks number is the second speeddial – keep it charged at all times." Asher nodded, watching the phone follow the keys and book. "Rents paid up 'til I'm out. If the landlord gives ya any trouble, call Koz." Asher nodded again. "Medical insurance is paid up." He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and flipped it open, pulling out the card and tossing it on the book and Asher moved to put the card into the leather bound book sleeve. "Anything happens…"

"Call Koz." Asher got the point. She'd lived alone before. "I'll be okay Hap."

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, he was obviously very tense. "I know." Asher ran her hand over the keys and the book.

"You guys ready for breakfast?" Sarah appeared in the doorway and Asher looked over at her daughter. She looked different. Happy even. Quickly picking up all the items Happy had laid out for her Asher nodded.

"Yeah, just gotta get dressed. Give me ten minutes." She slipped past Happy and Sarah and went back to the room, dropping everything on the unmade bed and going to pull some clothes out of the closet when a small knock at the door made her turn and Sarah walked in. "Hey."

"Hey." Sarah gave her a small smile as Asher faced back to the closet and pulled her shirt off, grabbing the black jersey dress she found on a coathanger and pulling it over her head and shimmying out of her shorts before grabbing her leather jacket.

"Did you have a good night?" Asher asked, turning around to Sarah and walking over to her dresser, pulling her hair up into a bun and dusting some make up on.

"I've got to tell you something." Sarah said quietly and Asher turned around to face her. The way Sarah was looking at her, not to mention the telltale plumpness of her lips and the return home on the back of a Harley this morning, it didn't take Asher long to connect the dots.

"You don't have to tell me anything." Asher said, walking over and pulling her into her arms. "As long as you're okay, it's okay." She whispered and felt Sarah nod into her shoulder.

"Thanks Ash."

"I just don't want to see you get your heart broken Sarah." Asher knew what was coming, Sarah didn't. And she wanted to tell her, but Happy had trusted her not to. Asher just had to act surprised like everyone else.

Besides lying was one of her best talents.

"I won't." Sarah implored and Asher nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you kid."

"Yeah, I love you too Mama." Sarah hugged her again and Asher gave her daughter a squeeze before pulling away. She looked over at the bedside table where her phone was sitting next to the huge black crystal ring and taking a deep breath she picked it up and slid it onto her finger quickly, looking around for a pair of shoes.

"Okay, come on baby, lets go to breakfast. Gemma will kill us if we're late." Leaning down she pulled on her heeled suede black boots and grabbed her handbag before taking Sarahs hand and leading her towards the front door that was open and Happy was standing out on the deck smoking.

"You ready?"

"Yep, come on family." Sarah said, skipping ahead of them towards the driveway while Asher shut and locked the front door, starting towards the steps when Happy put his hand on the small of her back and pushed her into his side as they walked to the car.

"See ya down there." He pressed a kiss to Ashers head and she gave him a small smile, watching him get on the bike before getting in the Camaro and starting it up and pulling out.

* * *

><p>The clubhouse was in full swing when Asher pushed through the door ahead of Happy who'd stopped to talk to Tig and have another cigarette. The uneasiness about being in the clubhouse was still there, and she didn't miss the people stopping and staring as she and Sarah walked in, a few whispers being loud enough to alert her to the fact that her status here was still unknown. The smell of old spice and cigarettes distracted her though, Kozik coming to stand beside her and ruffle Sarahs hair.<p>

"How ya doin' JB?" God she wished he'd stop calling her that. It had been ten goddamn years and she'd never actually been jailbait.

"Fine." Koz seemed to notice her pissy attitude and wrapped a beefy arm around Sarahs shoulder.

"Come on kid, lets leave Mrs Happy alone." Asher watched as Sarah gave her a small shrug and went off with her 'uncle'.

"Asshole." She muttered.

"Still chasing Kozik?" Turning her attention back to the front Asher saw her aunt Gemma standing in front of her.

"Hey Gemma." Sticking her hands in her pockets, she hid the huge sparkly ring that was weighing down her finger this morning.

"You couldn't find a pair of pants?" Asher looked down at her bare legs, the dress was long enough by her standards, just above her knees. It had taken a lot of effort to get her jeans on yesterday, she couldn't deal with the emotional damage it was doing to her having to give up. "Where's your Old Man?"

"He's outside, talking to Tig." She replied.

"Hows that going? Playing house?" Asher glanced over at the door that came open and the two most dangerous men patched to Charming stepped in. The curly haired blue eyed man with the Sargent At Arms patch, Tig and her Old Man.

"It's fine." Fine, just like him going to jail was _fine._

"Gotta convince me a bit better than that darlin." Gemma replied. "Come on, come and get some food before they eat it all. Gotta keep that baby happy." With a jerk of her head, Gemma lead Asher to towards the plates of food as Sons and their loved ones stood around, some of them watched the pair of them, some not. "Here. Take some to your man." Gemma passed Asher two large plates of food and Asher nodded gratefully.

"Thanks Gemma."

"You know, if you're gunna stick around, you're going to have to find that fire again." Gemma had two plates in her hands as well but didn't move as Asher stopped and glared at her. Gemma knew how to wind Morrow women up, she'd been doing it for the last sixteen years with Madster.

"What makes you think it's gone?"

"You've been here nearly two months and not once picked a fight with me." Gemma said haughtily.

"I grew up Gemma, I got some respect." Gemma stepped up closer to her, so her large glossed lips were at Ashers ear.

"Asher Hayden, Old Lady to Happy Lowman, makes people respect her, not the other way around." Then like that, Gemma turned on her stiletto boot heel she strode over to Clay Morrow who was watching her with the same icy blue glare his mother had given her two weeks ago.

"What have I gotten into." She muttered to herself, before walking over to Happy and Tig, holding up the plate. "Thought you might be hungry." She said quietly, watching him take it. A small gesture but he took it, nodding to her.

"How you doin' Doll?" She gave Tig a small smile, she knew he was familiar and everytime she saw him she tried to figure out where she'd seen him before. "You don't remember do ya?" He said, as if reading her mind.

"No." Asher answered honestly.

"I was in LA the day you god shot, you walked right past me outside that dodgy diner." He definitely had a good memory, but she wasn't so sure that's where she remembered him from. "And I drove your car to the hospital."

That was it.

"Oh." She glanced up at Happy who was just watching on. She didn't like remembering that day. It usually seeped into her subconscious and resulted in nightmares. "Well…ah thanks."

"Pleasures all mine Doll"

_Sure it was._

He was probably the guy that had helped Happy bury Ainsleys body. Was Adam the cute emo kid that had tried to know her, buried with him? Turning around she headed back towards the bar.

"You forget somethin'?" She turned around quickly at the sound of Happys voice.

"Ketchup?" She asked, looking down at the plate in his hand. He gave her a look that told her to stop being a smart ass bitch.

"Nah, get over here and eat." He gestured to the old arm chair beside them and Asher rolled her eyes but sat down, crossing one leg over the other and followed his orders. She hadn't eaten dinner last night because of nerves and since she'd passed out a few weeks ago, Happy had been watching her eating habits like a hawk. She forced the pancakes and bacon down her throat and wished she could have a coffee to swallow it down, but that was on the no-nos list. From her spot on the chair she could see Kozik and Sarah getting food, laughing as they did, Juice watching from his spot at the bar, his eyes on every single move Sarah made.

If the kid was going to stay in Sarahs life he'd have to get used to sharing her with Kozik. The only person that took Sarah away from Kozik was Happy, and she had a feeling she was the reason why Kozik was trying to patch back in in Charming.

Seeing the old man near the bar, Asher put down her plate and stood up, walking over to Piney and smiling softly at him.

"Hi." She hadn't seen him much since she'd taken the photos to him. There were still so many questions she had to ask him about her family.

"How'ya doing sweetheart?" Asher cast a sidelong glance at Happy who was talking to Tig and some other Son.

"I'm going to be okay." She said quietly, more so to herself than the First Nine member. "I've got Hap."

"Your Old man isn't known for his kindness darlin'." He coughed, not bothering with manners before taking a long sip of tequila. "Made a comment about cyanide the other day that he could have only known from medical personnel."

_Cyanide. _

Years ago when Happy had killed Cameron McEvoy she'd been horrified at what he'd done- not so much what he'd done, just the way he did it. Bullets were too easy to trace. She'd told him he would have been better off with poison.

_Cyanide, water and glucose._

Something she'd been taught at medical school. It slowed the reaction of the cyanide, making it look like a seizure or a heart attack. She'd been so worried she'd forgotten that Happy would be the kind to store that little titbit for later on.

"Guess you're lucky he's on your side then." She replied.

"Jesus, I can't get over how much you're like your mother." The old man chuckled again, setting off another bout of coughing. Asher turned her head to see three Prospects standing around and had to laugh at the state of them. They weren't exactly the type of guys you'd expect to become men like Happy and Jax Teller. But the old man hadn't noticed her distraction. "Was never sure what you were going to look like, but the moment I saw ya' knew you were a Hayden…."

He continued to talk after that, but Asher had stopped listening, the last line on a loop over and over in her head.

_Was never sure what you were going to look like, but the moment I saw ya' knew you were a Hayden…_

"You got that look in your eye, determined, like Frank."

"What do you mean you were never sure what I was going to look like?" The Old man seemed to realise he'd let the Tequila get the best of his mouth and snapped it shut.

"Sorry darlin' just meant thought you'd look more like ya father." He shrugged but Asher was a trained liar that meant she could read a liar.

"You mean Frank?"

"Yeah…" He stood up, coughing again. "Like Frank."

"Wait!" She called out but the old man was already ambling away. She went to go after him, but she felt a hand wrap around her arm.

* * *

><p>Happy had watched his Old Lady the minute she'd stood up and sauntered that ass over to the bar where Piney was standing. He knew his girl meant well, but something in his mind had him feeling possessive of her everytime she tried to talk to the old man. He wasn't worried about Asher leaving him for some hundred year old booze-hound, and it's not like he hadn't shared Asher with brothers before. His girl didn't talk much, but when she did, men listened.<p>

But he'd never had to share her with her family. She'd never had the need to ask questions about her parents or their backgrounds. And from what he gathered about Frank Hayden, shit could only get worse the more his girl dug.

Another part of him just didn't like the fact that she never brought it up with him. She was too independent for her own good sometimes. Sometimes it got her into trouble, sometimes he liked that she could do things without him. It reassured him. Up to the point that she got that panicked look on her face at something the old man had said and he left Tig to go over and pull her away from the old mans retreating back.

"What did he say?" Happy growled and Asher looked up at him with wide eyes before realising he could see the panic on her face and she resumed her poker face.

"Nothing." Both her arms were held tightly with his hands, his hands gripping the leather of her jacket. He wanted to chew her out, remind her of his words when she'd first started talking to Piney. "I'm going to help Gemma clean up." She said quietly and went to walk off but he held her fast.

"Leave it alone Ash." He said quietly, needing her to stay safe. She nodded, giving him a small smile and he nodded in return.

"Think I can steal your girl for a bit Hap?" Gemma approached, looking serious and Happy let go of Asher.

"Yeah." He wanted to tell Gemma to be careful with her, like she was some kind of china doll.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of her." Gemma wrapped an arm around Ashers shoulder, "And your baby." Happy gave Asher a look. He wasn't aware Asher was actually telling people about the baby. Not that he minded, far as he was concerned- the sooner the better.

"I'll start washing up." Asher shrugged out of Gemmas arm and walked away, leaving Gemma looking at Happy knowingly.

"She never told me- I kind of have a _gift_. Wish I was going to be here to see it, but I guess you do to." Then she turned around and sauntered off.

* * *

><p>Asher felt hands on her shoulders and looked over her shoulder to see Gemma watching her wash the dishes.<p>

"Lucky I served everything on paper plates." Asher nodded and scrubbed a bit harder at a pot. "Something wrong sweetheart?"

"I'm fine."

Fine was the watchword it seemed.

"You're a strong girl, Asher, I'm leaving this club in your hands." She felt the queens hands leave her shoulders and Asher put the pot down and turned to face Gemma.

"Tara?"

"Tara is going to be the presidents Old Lady soon enough, but it's going to take time. You know what to do, you know how this club works." Asher rose her eyebrow. She'd spent years defying how the club worked, she was hardly in a position to run the Old Lady side of it. "If anyone can keep these bitches in line its you."

Asher looked Gemma dead in the eye. The woman in front of her had no idea what her son was doing, what her husband was doing to keep her out of jail. She looked worried, like Asher was her last hope. Asher couldn't bring herself to tell Gemma that she hated the club, that she was only there because of Happy. Taking a deep breath she did what she did best.

She lied. Because in the end, this conversation wouldn't even be relevant.

"Okay." Gemma put her hands on Ashers cheeks and pressed a kiss to her lips in a motherly gesture.

"That's the girl I know."

She wrapped an arm around Ashers shoulders and pulled her towards the main room, making Asher realise this was all a ruse so she could give Asher this talking to. Sarah met Asher at the bar and started to say something when someone shouted.

"Hey!" Everyone stopped talking to pay attention to the large bearded man that Asher had learned was Opie, Pineys son, with his thin blonde girlfriend standing next to him. "Lyla's got something she wants to say!" Lyla lifted her left hand to show everyone the ring on her finger.

"We're getting married!" A loud applause went up and there were catcalls and whistles as Asher and Sarah watched on. Asher went to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear when Sarah snatched her hand away.

"What the hell is this?" Asher looked down at her hand in Sarahs, seeing the large ring on her finger glaring back at her.

"A ring."

"Who gave it to you?"

"Nora." Asher replied. Well technically it was true.

"You mean Happy?" Asher swore her daughter was about to choke. "You mean he actually gave you a ring?"

"It's no big deal Sarah."

"Dude, that things huge! It makes Lylas look like something from a box of Lucky Charms." Sarah replied and Asher hissed her name through her teeth, trying to get the teenager to pipe down. "What? It does."

"Well an engagement and a baby, looks like things can't get much better." Bobby chuckled and Asher saw Happy give her a smile from across the bar where he was standing next to Koz, saying something to his brother.

"Make that two babies!" Koz shouted and everyones eyes turned to Koz who looked over at Happy, shaking his head. Asher hated attention, especially when all of SAMCRO's eyes were on her. She gave a small shrug.

"Surprise." She said quietly and Asher was suddenly overwhelmed the amount of people that came towards her. People that she'd met separately from Happy, either while they were in Belfast, or when she'd come to see Piney.

"Gunna be a little killer junior!" Tig shouted and Asher could see the Sargent at Arms wrap an arm around a tight lipped Happy who hugged him back, thanking him.

"Congratulations darlin'." The Scotsman was in front of her and Asher nodded her thanks, letting each of them pat her on the shoulder or back as she thanked them for their well wishes. She should have hated Happy for doing this to her, but she felt a sense of calm, like she could actually do what Gemma had asked her. Because people respected her Old man in this clubhouse, respected her. She watched Clay pull Happy into a hug, the proud grin he'd been wearing when he'd been fawning over baby Abel not ten minutes ago was still in place.

"Officially gunna be family now ya know." Jax extended his arms to her and Asher stepped forward into his embrace. They hadn't hugged since well…it had been a long time. Back sometime after his father had died.

"Yeah." Jax pulled back and nodded at her, a silent understanding passing between them. They were family, the shit in the past needed to stay there. The dirty secrets she kept for Clay would hurt the man in front of her, would hurt Happy and Sarah, not to mention all the women involved. Even though she'd made the promise to Gemma and Clay, it was cemented as she saw Jax take Abel back in his arms and give her a knowing smile.

"You wanna hold?" Part of her didn't want to. But part of her was yearning to hold a child in her arms.

"Okay." She held out her arms and took little baby Abel from her step cousin, holding him to her chest. "Hello sweetie." She said softly as the little boys bright blue eyes looked up at her. She wondered if her baby would get the blonde hair and blue eyes Abel had, or throw to Happy and be dark haired and brown eyed. "I'm your Aunt Asher." She rocked the child as Abel wrapped his little pudgy hand around the side of her leather jacket and Asher caught Happys eye across the room, ducking her head quickly when she felt the pang in her chest at the thought of raising their own child alone.

"Hey." Tara was by her side, distracting Asher from Happy and Asher smiled over at the good doctor. "He looks good in your arms."

"Bet he looks better in yours." Asher replied, giving Tara a reassuring smile.

"Thanks."

"Congratulations on the baby news. I'm guessing you knew when you came to my scan?" Tara nodded, her smile apologetic. Asher shrugged. She didn't mind, of all people, she understood the need for privacy.

"I was thinking, if you're interested, with the boys you know…" The words _going away_ were probably on the edge of Taras tongue, "maybe you'd want some company to the natal classes and scans. I get it if you-" Asher cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"That sounds good, Tara." Tara gave a small smile, "you know, same goes for you." The smile got wider and Asher knew she'd done the right thing. She wasn't going to have Happy or Sarah around, and Tara was only going to have Abel and Gemma. They both could use all the support they could get.

A loud whistle interrupted the celebrations and Asher saw Tig gesture towards church.

Looked like their time was up.

Happy gave her a look that told her not to go anywhere and followed his brothers into church. Asher decided to make herself useful and picked up the plates lying around and took them into the kitchen while Sarah went to talk to the little blonde girl sitting on the couch.

* * *

><p>Warm hands encircled her hips ten minutes later and she automatically leaned into the huge figure, knowing the familiar smell of cigarettes, whiskey and the aftershave on her bathroom counter could only be one person.<p>

"Blue called from the road, they're nearly here." Asher nodded, turning around to face him.

"Are you going now as well?" She asked and he shook his head.

"Got a few things ta do."

"Guess I better go then." She replied, knowing that this was the last time she was going to see him for awhile. This was their official goodbye.

"Don't come back here today, I don't wantcha anywhere near here." He growled quietly and Asher nodded. He moved even closer and Asher lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, the tears leaking into her eyes. This time having nothing to do with the baby, but her own unwillingness to let go of him.

"I'm coming to see you every month." She warned and his lip twitched.

"Sure ya are."

"I mean it Hap." She replied, trying to smile through the tears. "I do."

"Don't fuckin' starve yourself again." He warned and she nodded. "I'll see ya in a few weeks girl." He said quietly and Asher lifted herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him hard, no need for tongue or roaming hands, just hanging onto each other. When they pulled back they heard Sarah clear her throat beside them and Asher let Happy go. "You take care kid." Whether he was going to jail or not, this would be the last time he was seeing Sarah for awhile with her heading off to College in a few hours. Asher watched on with a pang in her chest as he pulled Sarah into his chest quickly before pulling away. "See ya when you get back."

"Be careful uncle Hap." She said sweetly and Happy nodded, but never one for affection, he pushed her away.

"Go say goodbye to the shithead." Sarah nodded, her own tears gathering in her eyes and disappeared to go find Juice, leaving Asher and Happy alone again.

"Be careful." Asher whispered and he nodded, stepping up to her again.

"Stay outta trouble for fucksake." The last time he was leaving her indefinitely she remembered him saying the same words. Feeling nostalgic she gripped onto the edges of his cut and looked up at him through fuzzy vision.

"Can't make any promises." His lips hit hers then, hard and purposeful, pulling away after a few seconds his hands resting around her hips, spanning a few fingers across her stomach.

"Try. Got the devils spawn to look after." She gave him a look that told him he wasn't funny. But he just pressed his lips to hers again. "Look after yourself baby girl."

"You too, _Killer_."

Then he clipped her on the chin for good measure and kissed her head before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards the bar.

* * *

><p>Sarah found Juice sitting at the back of the bar, his laptop open as he scrolled through the contents.<p>

"Hey." It was the first time they'd been alone since early this morning and she felt the blush rising in her cheeks as he looked up at her.

"Hey." He gave her a smile and Sarah wished she wasn't leaving.

"My parents are nearly here, so me and Ash are going to head off." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder and Juice closed his laptop, nodding slowly. "So guess I won't see you before your bail hearing."

"Yeah, guess not." He held her eyes and Sarah felt a pang in her chest. "You gunna be okay?" He stood up and came around to stand in front of her, making sure no one could see them.

"Yeah, never know, in ten years I might be going through a divorce and need a biker to take the edge off." This got her one of his huge bright smiles.

"Hope so."

"Thanks for what you did. I mean, you didn't have to." She said, avoiding his eyes now, but she felt a warm hand enclose hers and tug her forward.

"It wasn't an obligation, darlin'." Sarah looked up at him and saw he was mere centimetres from her lips. "You gunna cave and kiss me again?" He asked and Sarah blushed again. She'd never been shy about their past kisses, but she'd been in control then. Now he held all the cards in his hands.

"No." She bit her lip, trying to stop the smile.

"Too bad." His lips got closer and she could feel his breath on her lips. "Cause I'm gunna kiss you." Sarahs smile got wide before his lips were on hers and she kissed him back. At that point in time she could imagine herself coming back here in ten years.

When they pulled apart Juice lifted his head and nodded and Sarah looked over her shoulder to see Happy and Asher standing nearby.

"Guess I'll see ya." He said quietly and Sarah nodded.

"Until next time, _Juice_." Then she walked over and took Ashers hand, both of them heading to the Camaro and not looking back.

* * *

><p>AN: The cyanide comment actually happened- in the deleted scenes its when they're discussing the ways to kill Bozo and that's how Koz and Tig kill him. Very amusing when Clay was like "I am so glad you're on our side." to Happy. It was great.

Anyways sad that they're all going to jail - however the time between seasons will probably only be about two chapters. Long ones though as I already have 25 pages written. Review!


	67. Chapter 67

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the reviews- I went to reply to them but firgured you'd appreciate the update more! They were wonderful. Thought I'd be generous and give you another update. The next few chapters are going to be mostly Asher based and snapshots about the next fourteen months where Asher survives without Happy, has the baby, and finds out the truth about her family! There will be a lot going on in each chapter- but I hope you can keepy up. Please enjoy and of course- review x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Seven – Vanilla Twilight<strong>

_I'll find repose in new ways  
>Though I haven't slept in two days<br>Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone  
>But drenched in vanilla twilight<br>I'll sit on the front porch all night  
>Waist deep in thought because when<br>I think of you I don't feel so alone  
><em>_**-Owl City**_

It was dark before anyone called her. Asher had been waiting for something all day, and finally just as the sun was setting and she was sitting on the porch of her rental on an old plastic chair, Grumpy at her feet and wrapped up in one of Happys hoodies, her cell blared obnoxiously from the table beside her. Part of her didn't want to answer, most of her just wanted to curl up and cry for the next fourteen months. But she'd made a promise to Happy to be tough, and so far she'd managed to hold back the tears as Sarah had driven away with her parents hours ago.

Then Chibs had turned up with a Prospect and Happys bike. She'd had to lock herself in her room while they put the bike in the garage. It hurt to much to look at it. The Scotsman had informed her that there wasn't enough room at Teller Morrow to fit all the bikes, and Happy had told him to bring his bike to hers.

Reaching over she flipped the phone open and held it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"It's Gemma, come around to my house." Asher sighed. If she was going to survive, she needed to be in the Queens good graces, whether Gemma was worried about her 'fire' or not.

"Okay."

Ten minutes later, she slammed the door of the Camaro and strode up the driveway and was greeted at the door by a solemn looking Tara.

"What's going on?" Asher asked, tugging at the sleeves of Happys hoodie down over her hands.

"Dunno, she called all of us." Walking in, Asher closed the door behind her and walked in to find Gemma and Lyla waiting in the kitchen.

Gemma had baby Abel in her arms and Asher saw the womans eyes narrow at the sight of her.

"Nice of you to join us." Asher gave the queen a small smile. Gemma obviously knew that Asher knew she wouldn't be in jail. "Guess you're not surprised to see me here. Your old man leave you a letter to?" Asher didn't answer her, letting on that Happy had told her could get her in a lot of trouble. "Of course you knew. Asher Hayden- the keeper of secrets."

"It's not a title I want." Asher replied, snapping her mouth shut when she got another glare.  
>"Good to see you home, Gemma." Gemma handed the baby to Tara who held the little blonde haired blue eyed child to her side and walked over to Asher, cupping her cheeks with her own hands.<p>

"You ever pull a stunt like that again girl, you'll find a size nine stiletto up your ass." She threatened before pressing a kiss to Ashers head. "But thank you. If you'd told anyone, it might not have worked."

"I think it's Jax you need to thank. He's the one that kept you out."

"Jax owes me, I went through a lot of shit for that boy. You believe you only have to look out for two people, well…" She glanced down at Ashers stomach, "three people, it went against your stubborn Hayden nature to put the club first."

"I didn't put the club first, Gemma." She whispered, levelling with the queen. She was not just some Old Lady. She was Asher Hayden, and she wouldn't change just because the club expected her to. "I put Happy first. If I have to help the club to do that, then I will." She didn't add that if the club ever got in the way of Happys safety or her baby, she would bring it to its knees. But Gemma got that from the look she gave her.

"That's what I was talking about." Gemma smiled and turned back to the other Old Ladys.

"Come on girls, lets have some dinner."

* * *

><p><strong>Stockton CA<strong>

**16****th**** August 2008**

"Who knew jail would work in your favour." Asher sat across from Happy at the table of Stockton jail and gave him a sly smile. He managed to store that image in his mind for later on. She looked good. She always looked good to him, but she seemed to be glowing, her skin clear, those blue eyes bright- this was that shit people went on about pregnancy glow. It suited her. "You been workin' out?" She bit her lip and Happy tried to supress a growl.

"You want me to jump this table and fuck ya in front of everyone?" He growled, leaning towards her and saw she didn't even raise a blush, leaning over as well until their noses were almost touching, her eyes on his mouth, making him look down at her full lips, and straight down her green top.

Pregnancy was definitely looking good on his girl.

"Don't be pushin' your good behaviour, _Killer._" She purred and leant back, her hand resting on her growing bump. "Sarah says hi. She's started college for real now."

"Good, she like it?" Asher nodded, her lip tugging.

"She also said thank you for the Prius." A Prius? "Koz chipped in and I had some cash saved up. We got her something brand new." His girl was a good mother. "I nearly forgot." She rummaged around in her handbag and pulled out the square of paper he recognised as a sonogram picture. He'd seen a few of them now, she'd brought one with her last time she'd visited. Sliding it across the table, Happy looked down at the picture.

"_Shit_." The last one had been good, but this one. Holy shit.

"The doctor said we can find out the sex, but I thought it would be a nice surprise." He didn't look up at her as he stared at the black and white picture of their baby. "It's sucking it's thumb." She said quietly and he looked up at his girl.

His Old Lady.

"You doin' alright, baby girl?" He asked quietly and she shrugged.

"Babys healthy, Sarahs happy, everyones good."

"Ain't what I meant."

"I know Hap, I just don't wanna break down crying in here."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**3****rd**** October 2008 **

Pete's solicitor in Seattle had been a small balding man with wire rimmed glasses and a sheepish smile, like he was worried he was going to say the wrong thing. He'd informed Asher that the sum of ten thousand dollars was being transferred into her bank account and handed her an envelope.

The envelope had contained nothing but a key with a tag on it with the address of a bank in Tacoma where a safety deposit box was located. So now Asher was dragging her pregnant ass all the way back to Tacoma. Glancing at the heavy watch on her wrist, she was thankful she'd left early. Nora had a checkup the next morning in Bakersfield, and she was meant to be there, then she was heading to Stockton to see Happy. If she wrapped this up quickly she could get home early and sleep.

She knew she was pushing it. She was nearly seven months pregnant, and getting bigger by the day, but she'd put off this trip long enough. Her maternity leave had started last week so she was trying to get everything sorted so that she was prepared in case the baby came early. Or she went insane.

Because insanity was a real possibility. Between the lack of sleep she'd gotten since Happy and Sarah had left and the constant monitoring from Kozik, Madster and Nora, she was about to climb the walls. It was only by sheer luck she'd gotten out of Charming that morning. Nora was back in Bakersfield after a long stay with Asher, Madster had had to go and house sit AJ's house while he went over to Ireland with Bethy and the kids and Kozik, after insisting he'd be there that morning, had called about being called into the clubhouse. So Asher had grabbed her keys and bolted, welcoming the stretch of road in front of her as she drove north.

Now though, she felt sick. And not baby sick, but nervous sick. Whatever Pete had left her in that box had to be important if he'd locked it up. Taking a deep breath she pushed open the door of the Camaro and walked steadily towards the glass doors of the bank. A few minutes later, a small woman led her towards the vault and showed Asher the box, smiling and telling her she'd give her some privacy before stepping out. This was the part in all the cool spy movies that she'd been watching late at night, when the spy did a quick check before breaking into someone elses box where they found a hundred fake passports and millions of dollars. As she looked at the box in front of her she idly mused that there was no way a million dollars would fit in there, unless it was a magic box.

And she doubted that.

Taking a deep breath she lifted the lid and felt her breath catch in her throat.

It might as well have been a million dollars.

Reaching in, she pulled out the rose gold heart shaped locket. Her mothers initials were engraved in the back of the locket and she brushed her thumb over the letters.

"Matilda." The word was past her lips as soon as her other hand brushed over her stomach under the fabric of her flowered summer dress. If her baby was a girl, it would be her name. The first girl of the next generation. It would be the tradition once again.

The locket, she was sure had gone missing years ago. When her Jetta had been stripped on the highway, somewhere between Tacoma and Sacramento.

She dropped it onto the table in front of her and reached in to pick up a folded piece of paper, stained with dirt from years of wear, the indents of creases from where someone had folded and unfolded it. The paper felt soft under her fingers, like leather, another side effect of age.

Unfolding it, she recognised the handwriting as her own. The first words being the ones that made her breath quicken, the change causing a sharp pain in her side as her baby kicked.

_You probably don't remember me. _

There was no Dear…, there was no acknowledgement of who the receiver was meant to be, but the first line was bold enough to stir a familiar feeling in her. The feeling of pain from those younger years slamming into her like a slap from a croweater.

She'd been eighteen, scared for the man that was going to jail for saving her, scared for the little girl that had been attacked.

_I remember everything about you though. The way you looked when you slept, the way you liked your coffee, what colour your favourite shirt was. I remember all the things about you that a wife should know. _

_But I'm not your wife. You remember her. She died eighteen years ago. Three months after I was born. _

_Do you remember me now? _

She couldn't read anymore. She quickly folded it up and put it next to the locket. She didn't know how a letter that she'd given Happy years ago at Christmas time had ended up in this box, but she guessed that the envelope in the bottom of the box answered all these questions. Picking it up, she didn't hesitate, ripping it open and unfolding the paper, see another set of familiar handwriting.

_Pete's. _

Her name was the first thing she saw written in his scrawl, all the letters capitals.

_BABY, IF YOU'RE READING THIS…I'M SORRY. I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF TO REPLACE THIS LETTER EVERY TWO YEARS, LOOKS LIKE I DIDN'T GET REAL FAR. I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY BABY GIRL. I HOPE HAPS WISENED UP AND COME BACK TO YOU. _ _THE LETTER AND THE LOCKET WERE ALL HE LEFT WHEN HE LEFT TACOMA. I HATE TO SAY IT BABY BUT YOU BROKE HIS HEART. _

The words made her choke up a bit. She had to stop reading, it felt like the baby was kicking the crap out of her and she realised she was holding her breath.

_I COULD'VE DIED IN A WRECK OR OF ILLNESS, BUT I DOUBT IT. MY BETS A GUNSHOT TO THE HEAD, OR THE HEART. _

Did Pete know he was going to get killed in a shoot out?

An artery in his shoulder wasn't far off the heart.

_I DON'T KNOW WHO WOULD HAVE DONE IT. BUT IT WOULD BE A PATCH. _

_I STARTED DIGGING INTO SOMETHING I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE. SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS AGO, WHEN YOUR OLD MAN WAS KILLED, I REALISED THAT THERE WASN'T ANY MAYANS IN TOWN THAT WEEK. MANAGED TO TALK BILL HAYDEN INTO GIVING ME THE POLICE REPORT, IT'S BEHIND THIS LETTER. I HIGHLIGHTED THE WEIRD SHIT. _

_I CAN'T TELL YOU WHO KNEW ABOUT THIS CAUSE IT CLEARLY GOT ME KILLED. YOU'RE A SMART CHICK ASH, DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY, TRUST YOUR GUT. _

_TRUST HAPPY. _

_PETE_

Asher leant heavily on the table, staring at his handwriting. A million questions were running through her head.

How did he know he'd be shot?

What did he know about her Dad's death?

She knew that the answers were in the piece of paper that was behind the letter, she could now see the highlighted marks through the letter.

One question that was front and centre was:

Who knew?

A knock on the door alerted her to the fact the teller was back and she quickly shoved everything into her handbag, slamming the lid of the deposit box shut. She should have kept the box in case she needed to stash something, but those nights of spy movies told her she should definitely get rid of it. If she knew about it, then other people could find out about it. Putting the key on top, she composed herself and stepped out into the bank.

Smiling at the teller, she made her way outside and straight to the Camaro. Once she was in she pulled the letter out and turned her attention to the police report.

The highlighted parts contained the time of death: 10:30 – 12:30pm

The weapon: a nine millimetre, much like the one that Asher carried, and so did most of the Sons, including Happy.

The fact that there were no signs of forced entry.

And who found him: Philip Stevenson.

It was all pretty standard stuff, but she hadn't had a lot of history reading police reports. Closing her eyes she leant back into the seat.

Again she needed to find someone that knew the answers to the questions that Pete had given her. Bill Hayden wasn't an option, he was a Hayden. He was cunning and if he thought screwing her would help him- he'd do it. Blue clearly wasn't someone she should be talking to either. Taking a deep breath she remembered Pete's written words.

_Trust your gut. _

She had a brief flashback to Pete's death, Kozik was there, so was Lorca. Happy had mentioned something about Lorca not being on board with Clay. Was it connected to Spanners death?

_Think Asher_

Opening her eyes, the first thing she saw was the steering wheel of the Camaro.

_The Camaro._

Who was one person that Pete trusted, that Happy trusted, that had access to police reports and was smart enough to know better? Not a cop.

A private detective.

_Collie. _

Firing up the car, she didn't give herself a chance to see the downfalls of this plan. Pete had told her to trust her gut. And her gut told her Collie knew the answers. Pulling out of the carpark she headed straight to Collies mothers house.

* * *

><p>She pulled the car up and double checked her phone and gun were in her handbag before she got out of the car and walked up the path. Smoothing a hand over her stomach she was thankful the belting her child seemed to be dishing out had subsided for a little while.<p>

Knocking on the door she waited, knocking again when there was no reply. There was the unmistakable sound of a chair scraping the wooden floor from behind the door and Asher saw the twitch of the curtain in the window near the front door.

"Mrs Dennis?" Asher called out, seeing the curtain twitch again. "Mrs Dennis!" She rapped on the door again, "My names Asher Hayden, I'm friends with Collie." Finally the sound of a lock sliding confirmed that someone was home before the door opened, a chain lock allowing Asher to see only half of the old womans face. "Hi, Mrs Dennis? I don't know if you remember…"

"How do I know it's really you?" Mrs Dennis snapped and Asher rose her eyebrow.

"I have my ID."

"Anyone could fake that." Paranoid old woman. Besides who would want to be Asher?

Asher remembered what had brought her there in the first place.

"That's your Camaro parked on the street. You gave it to Collie in high school and he gave it to me about five years ago." The old woman didn't look so convinced. "There's five cigarette burns on the leather on the passenger side."

"So you know about my car."

"Mrs Dennis, I just need to see Collie."

"He's not here." The old woman snapped and Asher sighed.

"Do you know when he'll be back?" She pushed.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him in six months. Went to some boys funeral then took off- I haven't seen him since." Six months ago was Spanners funeral.

"Does he call at all?"

"Once a week, but it's always a different number. And even if I did have a number I wouldn't give it out." Asher understood. The old woman obviously thought something was wrong with her son and Asher was starting to think so too.

Pulling out a notebook and a pen, she clicked it before scribbling down a number on the paper along with her initials and handing it through the crack in the door. Mrs Dennis didn't take it.

"This is the number of a secure pre-pay. No one can trace the number, you just have to give it to him when he calls and tell him I came by. Please, Mrs Dennis, this is important." She felt a gentle tug, then the piece of paper was gone from her hand and Asher stepped back. "Thank you for your time."

She turned on her heel and headed back to the car, getting in and sighing. Well that was a dead end.

First thing was first, she needed to go home and get her head straight, then she'd deal with Nora and Happy before she tackled this. Maybe Collie would have called by then.

* * *

><p><strong>Bakersfield CA <strong>

**4****th**** October 2008 **

Nora mustn't have been feeling well. Asher could tell by the state of the garden. It was still green, but the flowers were absent, as if she'd started planting and given up halfway.

"The doctor says the last round of chemo is working well, it's just a matter of time Nora." She said quietly as she helped the woman out of the passenger seat of the Camaro. She knew Nora hated her fawning over her but Asher wasn't going to stop worrying about Nora just because she said so.

"You say that everytime, darlin'." Nora informed her and Asher felt like a bitch. Yes, she did say that every time. "We all know I'm on the way out." Asher stopped dead in her tracks and watched the older woman turn to face her.

Asher hadn't really thought about Nora dying. Dealing with Cancer patients everyday she'd managed to convince herself that cancer was like common cold. It was painful and needed treatment, but in the end, everyone would be fine. She hadn't given up on her hope when she'd started helping out Nora. Seriously, of all the people diagnosed with cancer, Nora Lowman had to be the toughest.

"Oh sweetheart, don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Asher asked, rubbing her belly underneath her shirt self consciously.

"Like someone ran over your puppy." It was the same thing Pete had said to her years ago. It seemed like these days she couldn't get away from the past.

"I wouldn't know, I never had a puppy." Nora smiled softly and reached out to touch Ashers arm when a purple sedan pulled into the drive. A woman that looked a lot like Nora, except maybe younger, stepped out of the sedan and locked it, before making her way over to them.

"I came as soon as I could." The woman rushed over and hugged Nora, rubbing her back. "How did it go?"

"Doctor said treatment is working." Nora rasped and saw the womans gaze land on her.

"Who is this?" Nora gave Asher a similar look to the one she'd given her when she'd begged Asher not to tell Happy about her diagnosis in the first place.

"Asher, this is my sister Tessa." Asher gave Tessa a small smile.

"Lets get you inside before you get cold." Putting a hand on Noras back, Asher helped the old woman up the stairs onto the porch and into the house. "I'll make you some tea. Would you like some tea Tessa?" She asked as they continued out through the kitchen and into the living room.

"Asher, stop fussing."

"I'll get you that tea." Nora sighed and Asher smiled down at her before heading back to the kitchen.

Asher filled up the kettle and rolled her eyes at the fact that Nora still hadn't put the electric kettle she'd bought her to use, making Asher have to light the gas stove before setting the heavy kettle down on the flame. Scooping a few spoonfuls of tea into the pot, Asher sorted out the cream and sugar, only lifting her head when Tessa walked in.

"Nora tells me you're pregnant to my nephew." Asher looked down at her stomach and smiled.

"Yeah."

"You're going to raise it by yourself?" This woman was awfully nosy, but it seemed to run in the family. Nora had practically given her the Spanish inquisition when she'd first met her.

"No, I have Happy."

"And he's okay with having a baby? You asked his opinion on how he felt about it?" Asher was stuck for words.

"Well ah…" No, she hadn't ever asked Happy how he felt about it. She'd just accepted that he wanted her to keep it, no questions asked. He'd gotten her a house and organised a nursery, he was happy right?

"_My_ nephew was never one for many words. He's all about that club. He loves it more than his own mother sometimes." Tessa smiled as she said it, as if it was a joke. "So you're going to keep it?"

"I don't really have a choice." Asher answered, turning around and searching the cupboard for some biscuits. Nora needed food to take her meds.

"There's always adoption." Asher froze, mid reach for those cream biscuits Nora always kept in an old fashioned tin that had 'Nora' painted on it, flowers and butterflies on it. Clearly a homemade mothers day gift from her only son. Asher had often mused about how old Happy had been when he'd painted the tin.

Adoption.

Happy had confided in her that Jax's son had been adopted in Belfast, that Jax had almost given up and let the baby go to a better home. But to have someone else raise your baby? Asher didn't think she could do it. Happy wouldn't be able to, whether he wanted a baby or not.

"I don't think so."

"You look very young, how old are you?"

"Twenty-eight." Asher answered.

"So young, you still have a lot of life ahead of you." Asher shrugged, she'd had enough of running around. "Why would you want to have a child and end all that?" Tessa asked.

"I couldn't have some stranger raising my baby."

"What if it was family? Raised by its own flesh and blood." Asher finally picked up the tin and turned around to face the woman. "Given a stable home where it's loved and there's no doubt that it's wanted."

"I know what it's like to be raised unwanted, I would never do that to another child." Asher answered, picking each cookie out and placing them on one of Noras delicate porcelain plates.

"Then why don't you consider all your options." Then the woman patted Ashers hand and took the plate of cookies and headed out to the living room.

Asher leant heavily against the kitchen bench and looked down at her huge stomach. How was it that one question had suddenly made her feel like she was making all the wrong decisions? How had one woman put so much doubt in her mind?

She rubbed her hand over her stomach and caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger.

_Happy._

He was the only man she'd ever be willing to have a child with, killer or not. He was the man she loved, and he accepted her how she was. He would never try to change her or mould her into the typical old lady. He would never ask her to do something she didn't want to do.

Like giving up their baby.

Taking a deep breath, not for the first time, Asher picked up the tray of tea and cups and walked into the living room, placing them down on the coffee table.

"Thank you sweetheart." Nora said fondly and Asher smiled down at the old woman.

"Asher and I were just discussing her options." Tessa said boldly and Asher saw Nora, despite her illness, whip her head around to look at her sister. "I was telling her what I wonderful gift adoption is."

"And I agree." Asher replied quietly, "but it's not for me, or my baby." Turning her attention to Happys mother she spoke again. "I might head off Nora, I was hoping to see Happy today."

"Okay dear." Nora stood up and Asher pressed a kiss to the womans cheek.

"I'll call you when I get home." Nora nodded and Asher patted her arm. "Nice to meet you Tessa."

"You too, Asher."

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA <strong>

**10****th**** October 2008**

Asher pulled her phone out of her discarded handbag as it rung loudly. Realising it was one of Happys prepays, she threw the three phones out onto the floor and answered the one that was flashing at her.

"Hello?"

"Asher? It's Collie." Asher sat up straighter in the chair. She'd been sitting in the nursery rocking in the old chair. It was weird that he'd chosen to call at the moment that she was reading the letter Pete had left her.

"Col, where the fuck are you?"

"Why are you looking?" Collie countered.

"Because I was looking. Your mum told me that you had taken off after Petes funeral." She rambled. "Who are you hiding from?"

"Why are you looking for me Asher?" Collie snapped and Asher realised he wasn't the boy that used to sit outside her house and log all her movements anymore.

"Pete left me something, in his will," she answered quietly, "a letter and a police report about my dads death."

"What?"

"Can I see you?" She asked, the need to see him in the flesh to talk about this.

"No." Asher gritted her teeth. Years ago she hadn't been able to get away from him and now she couldn't even see him once.

"Col, I'm serious."

"Is this line secure?" he asked.

"Its one of Happys prepays." She replied quietly.

"Well if anyone can secure somethin' it's Happy. Heard you two were together, officially." He said, if not politely.

"We're having a baby. In about five minutes." Asher muttered, rubbing her expanding stomach.

"Yeah congrats. So what did that report say?" Collie changed the subject and she was thankful for it.

"I don't know, it looks normal to me." She pulled the report away from Pete's letter and stared down at it. "He's highlighted a few lines."

"Okay, what's it say."

She listed all the things Pete had highlighted turning the corners of the report as she stared at the details.

"Just found the coroners report." He muttered "Three gunshot wounds to the chest, nine millimetre. Ash it's all pretty basic stuff." Asher didn't even want to know how he got the coroners report. She sighed and leant back in the chair, it rocking slightly before jerking up straight again.

"Collie, if you didn't know about this, why did you take off?"

"I found somethin' that I took to Spanner the day he was killed." He said quietly down the line. "Another police report, but not your dads."

"Who's?" she asked, wondering what could have Collie so worried he'd take off.

"Your mums." Asher almost dropped the phone, then did, when she heard a loud banging on the front door. Grumpy started barking from the front room and Asher grabbed for the phone.

"What did it say?" She asked as she stuffed the papers from her lap under the cushion on the chair and headed towards the front door.

"I didn't get time to read it, Spanner asked me to get it. Said he thought somethin' didn't add up." Asher reached the front door and peeked out from behind the curtain covering the window to see Gemma standing very impatiently on the other side of the door. Looked like her house arrest was over.

"I gotta go Col. Can I call you back?"

"No." Then he hung up.

_Fuck._

Taking a deep breath Asher pulled the door open and pasted a smile on her face at the sight of Gemma Teller-Morrow.

"Hey."

"You gunna let me in?" Gemma didn't wait for an answer, just brushed past her and Asher rolled her eyes, following the Queen inside, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Oakland CA<strong>

**20****th**** November 2008**

"Pfft." Asher looked down at her stomach before looking back up at the chocolate aisle. "Mama's gotta eat too baby." She huffed, grabbing a large block and putting it in her basket before heading to the checkout.

"Hello darling." The large woman at the checkout smiled up at Asher from behind her wire rimmed glasses and Asher threw her a friendly smile. People didn't like scowling expectant mothers. "Wow, how much longer to go?" She said, gesturing to Ashers belly.

"Four weeks."

"Boy or girl?" The lady asked, multitasking by swiping the items as she spoke.

"Don't know, boy I think. Kicks like a boy." She said rubbing her stomach in a particular spot the baby enjoyed kicking the crap out of.

"You seem to be carrying low, that's the sign of a boy." The woman informed her and Asher nodded. So she'd been told. "That'll be twenty-fifty darlin'." Asher pulled the notes from her purse, waving off the change.

"Thanks." She said quietly and the woman gave her a large smile, holding the paper bag out to Asher and she took it, walking out of the store. Halfway back to her car she felt her arms slip and the bottom of the paper bag fell out, spilling her groceries all over the ground. "Fuck." Bending down had stopped being easy a few months ago. Squatting down, she had to get down on her knees to maintain her balance so that she could pick up the items.

Hearing a shout from up ahead she didn't realise there was anyone else on the street until a man was squatting down in front of her, scooping up the items.

"Pedro, get another bag." At the sound of the Mexican accent, Asher jerked her head up to see the moustached man in front of her. She noticed him freeze too at the sight of her. "Shit." His cut read _President _in english and Spanish on one side of his cut, the other side said _Mayan, Oakland. _Asher had never moved so quickly in her pregnant state, flying to her feet and tripping slightly as she stepped back. "Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you." He held out his hand, palm facing her, as if trying to still a scared animal, she probably looked like one.

"I'm sorry if I don't believe you." She said quietly and he nodded as his friend came and handed him the paper bag, packing her stuff in it before standing up again.

"Here." He held out the bag and Asher looked at it warily. "I'm not going to hurt a pregnant woman." Asher reached out quickly and took the bag, holding it to her chest, ready to make her getaway.

"Thanks." He nodded and stepped back, nodding. Asher ducked her head and went to walk around the two Mayans when the President said something and she had to stop to process the words.

_You're welcome, Matilda. _

Any other non-spanish speaking girl would never had picked it up, but Asher had history with MC's, she had history with the Mayans, and women called Matilda. She looked over her shoulder at the two men watching her before holding the bag closer to her chest and walking back to the car.

It had been more than a month since she'd found the report in the safety deposit box. She'd been trying not to think about it. She was too close to having the baby, she didn't want risk something happening to either one of them because she'd been desperate to know the answers to all the questions she had. She hadn't uttered a word to anyone since Collie had called, hadn't even told Happy. And she'd told herself that once the baby was born, she'd find out the truth and that would be the end of it. Mayans had killed her father, Pete had been killed in the crossfire of a shootout and there was nothing to find.

Once inside the car she contemplated calling Madster, asking her what she knew about Mayans. She knew everything about Clay and AJ's secrets, would she know why a Mayan President would think her name was Matilda?

Pulling out her phone she stared at it for a minute before shutting it and starting the car. She could barely fit behind the wheel, thankful for the old style of the car that allowed her to sit back into the bench seat. She'd call Madster later. Starting the car she pulled out of the park and headed towards Stockton.

* * *

><p>Security were not Ashers favourite people. She hated people touching her, and here they were patting her down, like she had a file stashed under her dress. They motioned her past the metal detectors and she was handed a pass before heading into visitation. The warden led her over to an empty table and chairs and she sat down, folding her hands on the table because they couldn't reach her lap anymore. She was still feeling jittery since her run in with the Mayans. Looking around she saw Gemma was there, talking to Clay in the corner. If she'd known, she would have come up with the Old Lady so she didn't have to shift in her seat everytime she had to reach the clutch.<p>

A door buzzed and she looked up as the warden walked over with Happy in front of him. She watched him walk over, a familiar steely look on his face as he took a seat and nodded to the warden before turning his brown eyed gaze on her.

She was thankful that Stockton was a low security prison, it allowed him to sit on the same bench at her, leaning on the table as he straddled the bench.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"How ya doin'?" He asked and Asher shrugged.

"I haven't seen my feet in two months and I can barely get behind the wheel of my car." She replied and saw his lip twitch.

"You shouldn't be driving."

"Bit hard to walk here from Charming." The familiar jab in her side made her wince and she rubbed the spot with the heel of her hand. "Ow."

"You 'right?"

"He's his fathers son." Asher said and knew there was another kick on the way. Usually once he started he belted the crap out of her. "Can you…?" She looked up at the warden that was nearby, "You wanna feel it?" Happy lifted his hand, letting Asher take it and place it on the side of her stomach just before the baby kicked again.

"Shit." The raspy chuckle brought tears to Ashers eyes as she gripped his hand tightly, wanting to stay there like that forever. She swallowed the sob in her throat and gripped his hand even tighter, watching him lift his eyes to meet hers. "Don't cry." He ordered and Asher nodded, giving a small smile. "Ash…" Biting her lip, Asher composed herself, letting him retract his hand, and rested hers on the table again.

"I was thinking maybe we could name him Pete." She said quietly, not sure of what reaction this would get from him. "Only if that's okay with you."

"That all you got?"

"I've got a whole list, you wanna hear?" He nodded, a small smile on his face as she listed the names off.

_James like his father, Philip like Blue _

"Petes a good name." He said after a minute. "You got any girl names picked out?"

"It's not a girl, Hap." Asher replied knowingly.

"You ask the doc?"

"No, I just know." She answered and he rose his eyebrows.

"You know if it's a girl, we gotta name it Matilda or Maddie will kill me." He joked and Asher felt the uneasiness come over her again. "What?"

"Nothing." It was amazing how quickly he could pick up on her shift in mood.

"Don't lie to me bitch."

"I just ran into some Mayans in Oakland that's all." She said quietly, tapping her fingers on the table.

"They give you any trouble?" He asked, his voice raspy and deep, worried.

"No, they were nice. Just threw me that's all." Biting her lip she wondered if she should tell him what the President said. "So…" He was looking at her again like he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Whatcha' worried 'bout baby girl?"

"I probably won't get back here before the baby's born." She said quietly, spreading her hands out flat on the table. "Who's last name am I giving this kid?"

"It mine?" He asked and Asher rose an eyebrow at him. Of course it was his, idiot.

"Yes…"

"Well than what's your fuckin' question?" He rubbed his chin and Asher nodded. That was clearly his way of answering her question.

"Thanks. So how's things going in here?"

"Same shit different day." He shrugged and she knew Happy had spent enough time in jail to just shrug the shit off. "Heard from Sarah?"

"Yeah…she's loving being in Sacramento, crazy dorm parties every second night." She shrugged. She missed Sarah just as much as she missed Happy. At least Sarah got home to see her sometimes.

"I'll tell Juice." Happy replied and Asher saw him smirk at the idea of pissing off the younger man.

"Hap…I'm trying to keep her away from trouble makers like him." She sighed.

"You mean like me?" He asked and Asher nodded.

"Yes, just like you."

"So you gunna tell me what that Mayan said that got you so rattled?" He asked after a minute of silence and Asher groaned, rubbing her eyes.

"He called me Matilda." She said quietly and saw Happy sit up straighter.

"What?"

"You can't say anythin' to Clay, Hap." She warned, "The shit with my family…"

"Yeah yeah. What exactly did he say?"

"I spilled my groceries everywhere and then he was there, the President and he helped me. Then when I was leaving he said "_You're welcome Matilda_ ." He rubbed the back of his neck, frustration. She knew he didn't like being in this kind of position with the club, but she also knew he didn't like being kept in the dark when it came to their relationship.

"Anyone ever called you Matilda before?" He asked after another minute of silence.

"My dad used to when he was really drunk." Memories of Frank made her rub her stomach, wondering if her child was going to grow up in a better life than she had. "And when I was little family members did before they knew my name. They all just assumed, being the first girl I'd be called Matilda." He rubbed the back of his neck again. "Piney called me Matilda the first time I met him too."

"If you see them again, I want you to stay away. Pretend you don't know anythin' 'bout it okay?" He said sternly and Asher nodded. It was killing him to be locked up in there when there was a possible threat outside.

"Yes. I'm going to be stuck in Charming anyway so I shouldn't see them right?" he nodded.

"Yeah."

A loud buzzer went off again and Asher jumped as someone yelled out that their time was up.

"Guess you gotta go." Happy nodded and Asher rubbed her belly again. Next time she saw him, she would have had it. "I miss you Hap."

"I know girl." He growled just as Gemma Teller-Morrow walked past. "Hey Gem." The Old Lady stopped and looked down at them.

"How you doin' Hap?" She asked and Happy nodded.

"Don't let her drive again." He ordered and Gemma nodded.

"No worries sweetheart." Then she strutted off. The warden came over and jerked his head at Happy who stood up.

"I'll see ya baby girl." He said sternly and Asher nodded.

"See ya Hap." Then he walked away, the warden following him. She saw Clay Morrow doing the same his eyes on her. Something was niggling at her about the Mayan situation and she had a feeling it had to do with Clay, maybe even the shit Pete had found. Taking a deep breath she slowly made her way out of the building, finding Gemma leaning against the hood of her Camaro, smoking a cigarette.

"How you doin' sweetheart? Haven't seen you in a few weeks."

"I've been busy." Asher shrugged, "Haps mum moved to Oakland with her sister, I was helping her settle in."

"You realise your eight months pregnant Asher, people should be helping you."

"I don't need anyones help." Asher bit out. She hated being dependent on people.

"Course you don't darling." Gemma stood up and pressed a kiss to Ashers cheek. "Dinner at my house tonight, I want you there. One of the Prospects will pick you up. Probably need the van for your fat ass." Asher gave Gemmas retreating back the finger as she watched the woman walk back to the SUV parked on the other side of the parking lot.

"Bitch."

"Molly used to say the same thing about her." Asher spun around at the words and came face to face with the moustached Mexican she'd seen in Oakland. She stepped back, making for the car where her gun was but the Mayan held his hand up, reaching in and taking his gun from the holster inside his cut and put it on the hood of the Camaro, then he unstrapped the knife from his belt and put it on the hood as well, before holding his hands up in surrender.

"What do you want?" Asher tried to keep the tremble out of her voice, but the fact that he'd followed her from Oakland to Stockton sent a chill down her spine.

"Just want to talk." Asher gritted her teeth and stepped forward, taking the knife and the gun from the hood and put them in her handbag. He'd get them back when she was out of there alive. "You're a smart girl."

"I'm not a fan of people following me." She replied.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure whether you were _her_, had to see for myself. Saw ya talkin' to Gemma Teller, visiting a Son, figured you had to be a Morrow." He leant against the hood and Asher watched other people exit the prison from visiting their loved ones, not taking any notice of the girl and the biker talking on the hood of the Camaro.

"You knew Molly?" The man smiled as if thinking of a fond memory and nodding, rubbing a hand over his moustache.

"She was beautiful, you look a lot like her. How are you related?" He asked and Asher bit her lip before replying.

"She was my mother."

* * *

><p>AN: Duh duh dahhhhh...review!


	68. Chapter 68

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! I know some/most of you hated me for the cliffhanger, but I hope an update makes it better. Enjoy x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Eight- The Truth<strong>

_It's hard to try  
>When you're always pushin' those thorns<br>In my side  
>Can't bring back light<br>When someone has stolen the sun  
>Turn on blind<em>

_Held you in Balmain_  
><em>Took away your pain<em>  
><em>I gave and I gave and I gave<em>  
><em>I thought you were the truth<em>

_You say you lost your lover_  
><em>And that you miss your best friend<em>  
><em>Til I found there's none in you<em>  
><em>Wings of stone<em>  
><em>I thought you were the truth<em>  
><em>-<em>_**PNAU**_

**Stockton CA**

**20****th**** November 2008**

Your names not Matilda though?" He obviously had noticed her body language back in Oakland on the street.

"No, its Asher."

"Marcus Alvarez." The name had her stumbling back. Just because he'd given her his gun and knife, didn't mean she was safe. Her father had killed this mans uncle. "Hey hey, I ain't gunna hurt you."

"If you know who my mother is, you know who my father was." Asher spat and the man nodded. Her father had killed his uncle before Asher was born. Her father was the reason they'd shot Molly.

"Frank Hayden."

"Yeah, the same guy your club shot to death eight years ago. Twenty-one years after they killed my mother." The president of the Mayans pushed off the hood of the Camaro and stepped closer to Asher, his snakeskin cowboy boots scuffing on the asphalt.

"Who told you that?"

"Everyone knows." She said, mustering up some bravado and pulling his gun from her bag and switching off the safety. She didn't miss the fact that it was a forty-five, not a nine. "I swear to god, take one more step…"

"You really going to shoot me in a prison parking lot?" he asked and Asher shrugged. "Who told you Mayans put the hit on your parents?"

"My dad killed your uncle."

"My uncle was a rat, it was arranged. We had no need for retaliation." Was it weird that he was telling her this? "Who told you it was Mayans?" Did he really have to ask? "Your Son?" He asked, gesturing to her stomach. "Which one is yours? The young one?"

"It wasn't my Old Man."

"I would never hurt Molly, I loved her." Asher froze, the gun in her hand shaking.

"What?" She choked.

"You might be Frank Haydens blood, but I was the one that promised to raise ya right."

_Wasn't sure who you were going to look like_ – Pineys words from the day Happy went to jail.

She was pretty sure she was going to throw up.

Yep, she was.

Putting the gun back on the hood she dashed down the side of the car and threw up behind it, heaving as she gripped at her swollen stomach.

"Are you alright?" Asher held up her hand to keep the man away from her. He'd just implied that he was with her mother before Asher was born. She was very far from alright.

"Hey! What's going on?" Someone yelled and Asher looked up to see Alvarez grab the gun off the hood and stick it in his holster. He didn't even take a second look at her before he was gone and Asher was left leaning over the trunk of her car. When she was certain all the contents of her stomach were on the ground in front of her, she stood up straight and saw a warden striding towards her. "You alright?" He asked and Asher walked back to the drivers side door.

"Yeah sorry, just …" She ran a hand over her stomach, "morning sickness." It was a lie, but he was a man- what were the chances that he actually knew about pregnancy symptoms.

"You need anything?"

"No thanks." Pulling open the drivers side door she threw her handbag in and got in, slamming the door shut. Without a second glance at the warden that was watching her, Asher started the car and pulled out of the carpark, watching her rearvision mirror the entire way home for a motorbike. Thankfully there was no sign of the Mayan. The only evidence of their meeting was the knife in her hand bag and a sour taste in her mouth.

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA <strong>

**21****st**** November **

Asher wanted to roll over in bed, but it took too much effort these days as she lay on her side of the bed, facing Happys empty spot. Rubbing her hand over her stomach she tried to imagine what it would be like if he was there with her, like she did most mornings when she woke up alone.

A shrill ringing of her phone started and she was forced to roll over, sitting up and reaching over for it. Koziks number flashed on the screen and she rolled her eyes. He'd be pissed off that she'd gone to Stockton the day before. He was taking his protection detail very seriously, much like another former SAMTAC member she knew.

"Dammit Hap." She muttered at the thought of her old man and put the phone back on the bedside table. She'd deal with Kozik after a shower. The serve was still going to happen whether she delayed it ten minutes or not.

Crawling out of bed she headed for the shower. As she moved slowly through the routine her mind drifted back to the day before. Thankfully, Gemmas dinner had managed to distract her from what the Mayan had said to her.

Piney had said he wasn't sure whether Asher would look like her mother or not near seven months ago. He'd implied that Frank Hayden hadn't been her father. Then Alvarez had said yesterday…

The churning in her stomach began again before a loud banging on the bedroom door.

"Asher, I know you're in there!"

Screw Happy for giving Koz a spare key. Shutting the water off, Asher wrapped a towel around herself, her belly causing it not to even cover her ass. Thankfully Koz hadn't come into the bedroom yet.

"Give me a second." She pulled on a pair of elastic waisted bed shorts, an elastic banded crop top and one of Happys t-shirts that was even stretched by her stomach. Shuffling over to the bedroom door, Asher pulled it open and looked up at Kozik. "Sorry, I was in the shower."

"That gunna be your excuse for that stunt you pulled yesterday." He asked, leaning on the doorway.

"I went to see Hap."

"After I told you to stay put. I mean, for fucksake you're about to pop Asher!" He very rarely called her by her actual name, so she knew he was pissed. "What if something had happened?"

Something did happen.

"I'm fine Koz."

"Haps not gunna fuckin' die if you just sit still for a minute." He growled and Asher rolled her eyes.

"Koz, I'm fuckin' eight months pregnant. All I want to do is cry, and when I'm not crying, I'm horny. Going to see Happy is the only thing that keeps me sane." If that's what this was- sanity.

"You know there's a prison clause darlin'." Koz snapped back and Asher cocked her eyebrow.

"And you know that I would never…" Oh god.

"Sometimes you're so fuckin' blind girl- look after yourself. You know Happy would kill me if anything happened to you. I don't care if I gotta lock you in a padded room to keep you safe, cause I fuckin' will." Asher wasn't listening, she was trying to calm her breathing. She was relatively certain it was just a false alarm. But after Kozik finished tearing her a new one, another hit.

She was going into labour.

"Koz!"

"What?" Kozik huffed glaring at her.

"I uh…" She felt it again, the sharp pain. "I think I'm going into labour." She gasped, reaching out to grasp anything she could get. They were too close. Her contractions were way too close. The blonde haired biker was staring at her wide eyed.

"I…uh…come on." He grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the front door.

"Wait I need my keys." Asher shouted and he stopped. "I'm not getting on your bike. There's a bag packed in my room, my car keys are on the kitchen bench." She gasped as she leant against the doorway and Kozik took off, coming back seconds later with both in hand and Asher was glad she'd been expecting this.

"Come on doll." He was a bit more composed now, putting his hand on the small of her back and guiding her down the steps of the porch, slamming the front door behind them. He rushed ahead of her and unlocked the Camaro, throwing the bag in the back and coming back to her to help her in. "You okay?" Asher laughed slightly, rubbing her stomach again.

"Yeah." She rubbed her stomach and felt another contraction hit, causing her to double over, gasping in shock. "Okay, maybe not." She managed to choke and Kozik practically shoved her into the car and ran around to the other side, firing up the V8 and pulling out as fast as humanly possible.

"You're gunna be alright darling." He said reassuringly as he sped through the streets and Asher chuckled, still rubbing her belly. She hoped to god she was. Her water must have broken when she'd been in the shower. That was the only thing that explained the sudden onset of contractions so close together. "Where do we go?" He asked, pulling the Camaro into a park, surprisingly easy for someone that spent his days on a motorbike.

"Just straight to emergency, they'll send someone down." She said, taking the arm that was offered to her and held on for dear life as he slung her bag over his shoulder and led her towards the emergency room.

"Geez baby girl, you're sweating up." Asher brushed a hand across her head and winced. "Hey!" He called out as they walked into the packed emergency room. "Here, baby take a seat." He helped her over to a chair and Asher leant back in it, glancing over at the little girl with her arm in a cast beside her. She gave Asher a toothy grin and Asher smiled back slightly, flinching and refraining from swearing as another contraction hit. She looked around for Koz and saw him standing at the reception desk, waving his arms around as the elderly nurse glared at him. Her only chance was to do it herself. She pushed herself up out of the chair and shuffled over to them. "Listen lady, I don't know much about pregnant bitches, but she needs a doctor, _now_."

"Sir, you need to take a seat and calm down." Asher reached the desk, latching onto Koziks arm and looking over at the woman to convey she was in a world of pain right now.

"Can you please page Dr Reynolds. Or so help me god I'll walk up there myself." She said quietly to the old lady who she didn't recognise and she sighed before picking up the phone and dialling.

"Name?"

"Asher Hayden." Asher replied but the woman waved her off before greeting the person on the other end.

"Dr Reynolds please." There was more silence as they all waited patiently. "Uh, yes, there's an Asher Hayden here to see you." More silence. "She says she's in labour." The nurse nodded about something and covered the speaker on the phone. "Has your water broken?"

"I think so." Asher replied.

"How far apart are your contractions?" The woman asked.

"About one to two minutes." She answered and the womans eyes didn't widen.

"Are you sure they're not Braxton-Hicks?" Asher nodded. There was no way these were fakes.

"Jesus, fuck woman, can'tcha see she's in pain?" For once Asher was thankful that Happy was in jail. Because if he was here, well, the lady wouldn't be looking at her like that.

"Koz, you've got to calm down. They won't help if you're rude." She insisted, squeezing his arm. "_Please._" He seemed to swallow a big lump in his throat and nod, nodding again to apologise to the nurse.

"Someones coming down now."

"I can start going up there if it's easier." Asher insisted.

"Sorry ma'am, medical personnel only." The nurse replied and Asher rolled her eyes before another one hit, making her lean over at the hips and hold onto Koz's arm for support.

"In my bag Koz." She gasped once it was past. "My pass." He quickly unzipped the bag and pulled out the card with the strap on it and Asher took it from his hand, heading towards the double doors, worried too worried about her baby to give a shit about the woman behind the desk.

"Hey! You can't go in there!" She shouted, but Asher had already swiped the card and Kozik helped her through the doors, his arms going around her shoulders.

"Just breathe baby." This wasn't right, Tara had been her birthing partner. They were meant to do this together. She was a doctor, Asher trusted her to look after the baby no matter what. What good was a freaked out biker?

"Koz, somethings wrong." She cried as she felt a sharp pain in her ribs. He'd kicked her in the ribs. She took a deep breath and winced again at the pressure on her bones.

Up ahead she saw Dr Reynolds and a nurse in blue scrubs heading her way, pushing a gurney.

"Asher, are you okay?" Dr Reynolds reached her and Asher shook her head, still hanging on to Kozik and looking up at the obstetrician.

"No, something's wrong."

"Okay, lets get her on the bed." She didn't know who lifted her up, but seconds later she was lying on her side on the bed, clutching at her stomach. "Asher? Tell me what's going on?"

"Contractions are too close, he's kicking- I think he broke my rib." She gasped.

"Okay, we're going to check your blood pressure, give you a scan." Asher felt a hand wrap around hers and she looked up to see Kozik running along beside them.

"Who do you want me to call, JB?" Koz asked when they finally came to a halt. Another contraction hit and Asher pulled her knees up more as she gripped at her side.

"Ow." A hand swept over her head and she felt tears in her eyes.

It was too early.

Her contractions were too close.

Why was this all going wrong?

"Asher?" She saw Koziks big baby blues in front of her and whimpered slightly.

"Tara, call Tara." A kiss was pressed to her head and she saw the reaper head out the door.

"Okay, Asher, we're going to do the ultrasound, I'm going to need you to roll on your back." Asher complied, rolling onto her back and tried to focus as one of the nurses pulled up her t-shirt and squeezed the cold gel on her stomach, which seemed to cool her burning skin a little bit. Another nurse stood to the side and Asher felt the blood pressure cuff wrap around her upper arm, tightening around it until it pinched.

She saw the glance between the obstetrician and the nurse. Her blood pressure was high. Too high.

"Have you been experiencing any pain, discomfort before today? Nausea?"

"I was sick yesterday and he's been kicking like crazy. He used to do it when I held my breath." Dr Reynolds made an understanding noise before speaking.

"Okay, Asher, ready?" Asher nodded and felt the gel spread out across her stomach as the sensor was pushed over her stomach. She could hear her babies heart beat, not being in the position to see the monitor. But she knew the heartbeat was too fast, she'd heard it enough times to know how it was meant to sound.

"Hmm." Asher felt another contraction hit and tried to bite down on the pain.

"Get the theatre prepped."

_Oh god. _

"Asher," She saw the doctor move around to her side, "the baby is struggling for air, that's why you're going into labour. The safest thing to do is have a caesarean. Are you okay with that?"

"He's dying?" Asher choked.

"No, no, but if we wait and you have a natural birth, the strain will decrease it's already limited air supply. The best thing is to get your baby out quickly and safely."

Otherwise he would die.

"Okay." She nodded vehemently. Dr Reynolds looked up and nodded at someone before turning her attention back to Asher.

"Alright, we're going to take you in, get you prepped. We can give you a general anaesthetic or we can give you an epidural…"

"I want an epidural." Asher told the doctor who was smiling softly at her. "I want to be awake."

"Okay. Lets go." She felt the gurney move and saw a nurse pushing her out of the exam room.

"Asher!" She managed to lift her head to see a pregnant Tara coming her way. "I came as soon as I could." Asher was actually surprised at how quickly the doctor had gotten there.

"Thanks Tara." Asher whispered as she felt the womans hand wrap around hers.

"We're taking her straight to surgery, are you coming in Dr Knowles?"

"Surgery? What's going on?" Tara looked down at Asher and Asher could feel the tears streaming down her face.

"He can't breathe Tara." She rasped and felt the doctor run a hand over her head.

"He's going to be okay, you're both going to be fine." It was doctor-talk. Always reassurance that everything was fine.

"Don't bullshit me Tara." Asher replied, rubbing her sore ribs. "It's too early."

"Four weeks isn't that bad Asher. Plenty of babies come early." Another swipe over her forehead and Asher nodded, trying to believe the doctors words.

* * *

><p>What felt like seconds later, she was lying in the theatre, no feeling in the lower half of her body and Tara gripping her hand tightly. She could hear every word that Dr Reynolds was saying as they worked behind the green sheet that blocked her view of her belly.<p>

"How're you going there Asher?" Dr Reynolds looked up at Asher over the barrier and Asher gave her a pained smile. Nothing hurt anymore, but she was so scared. Scared that their baby wasn't going to survive.

She'd been having nightmares since well…since Happy had gone away. Nightmares about her baby dying, or it never having existed and most recently of someone taking her baby away from her as soon as it was born. She usually woke up crying the her own screams still ringing in her ears. "Not long now."

Finally the sound of a crying baby filled the room.

He was alive.

"Congratulations," Dr Reynolds held up the smaller than normal baby in front of Asher, it screaming, covered in blood, "you have a beautiful baby boy." The midwives quickly swooped in, taking the baby from the doctor and rushing him over to wrap him up.

"My baby." Asher gasped, watching the nurses wrap him up in blue fleece.

"Ten fingers and ten toes." The midwife said as she handed Tara the bundled up baby and Tara came down to Ashers level.

"He's beautiful Asher." Asher reached out slowly and brushed a finger over his forehead. "Have you got a name for him?"

"Peter James Lowman." Asher whispered. He was small and pudgy, there were no distinguishing features to tell who he looked more like but he was hers. Her little bit of Happy.

"We're just going to take him for a little while, check all his vitals, make sure he's healthy. We'll bring him to your room." Tara handed the baby to the midwife.

"He'll be incubated?"

"Probably. But he seems healthy, so we'll try to shift him into her room." The midwife said, obviously seeing Ashers worry.

"Thank you." Tara said quietly and Asher was so glad she brought the good doctor with her. "His name's Peter James Lowman." The midwife gave Asher a smile.

"Good, strong name." Asher knew. The men he was named after were strong men. Her best friend and his paternal grandfather.

* * *

><p>The midwife had only just left after helping Asher breast feed her baby, her beautiful baby, when Sarah bounded in, a huge blue teddy bear in her arms, followed by Gemma, Tara, Lyla, Madster, Kozik, Chibs, Opie, Piney and two Prospects. And just when she thought no more could fit, Lorca, Bella and a familiar Nomad came in. She'd been a nurse long enough to know that this many people was against regulations, but she was so stunned she couldn't say anything.<p>

"Hey Mama." Sarah came straight over to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek and looking down at the baby in her arms. She was holding him close to her chest, it hurting too much to sit up much more and having him rest on her stomach. "Wow. He's beautiful." Sarah was careful not to jostle Asher as she stood back. "What's his name?"

"Peter James Lowman." Asher whispered. They actually clapped, Asher saw Lorca begin it, the proud as punch look on his face. If it had pleased anyone, it was definitely Lorca.

"Hey, there can't be this many people in here. Out now!" A scary looking older nurse snapped, seeing the room full of people and Gemma went to say something to the nurse, but Tara held her back.

"We'll send three in at a time." She said, looking around at everyone who nodded and they filed out, leaving Asher and Sarah.

"How did you get here so fast?" Asher asked the almost nineteen year old.

"Koz rang everyone as soon as he dropped you off." Typical Koz. He was such a loud mouth.

"Jesus."

"How are you going?" Sarah asked quietly and Asher wondered if she should admit she felt like bawling, like all her hormones were on the fritz and were going to force their way out of her in tears. But she was so happy. She had her baby, a few weeks premature, small but healthy.

"I'm good."

"Are you sore?" Asher nodded. Yeah she was, the stitches tugged everytime she moved. It was a lot worse than when she'd been stitched up for a bullet wound. But some good had come of this, brought her baby into this world.

"How's school?" Sarah shrugged. There wasn't a chance for her to answer as a head poked around the door and Asher recognised the face of the Nomad Taylor.

"Sorry darlin', didn't mean to interrupt, just wanted to get my well wishes in before I head off."

"Come in Taylor." Asher said quietly, watching the huge man walk in. As she remembered he was covered in ink – enough to rival her Old Man and the father of the baby in her arms.

"Was just passing through town when I heard the news. Thought I'd drop by and give ya this." He handed Asher an envelope and she didn't need to open it to know it was wads of cash.

"You don't have to give me this, I have enough money."

"It's my thank-you gift. Lets not fuck around girl, you saved my life. I'll owe you for a long time, it's the least I can do. Put it in a college fund or somethin'." Asher saw the older man grin, knowing that if this kid wanted to be anything like his father, there would be no need for a college fund.

"Thank you." Asher said quietly, thankful for more than the money, "thank you for coming to see us."

"Pleasures all mine, darlin'. I'll let ya get back to it." He leant down and pressed a kiss to Ashers forehead and gave Sarah a wink before striding out.

"I'll go and send the next lot in." Sarah said once Taylor was out the door. "Gotta say, for someone with no friends, you kinda pull a crowd old girl." Asher rolled her eyes at Sarah but had to agree. You could tell how much people respected Happy, coming to the birth of his child in support while he was in jail.

For once in her life, Asher actually was thankful for the club.

* * *

><p><strong>Stockton CA <strong>

**22****nd**** November 2008 **

Happy took a seat on the steel bench in the visitation room across from Kozik. He hadn't really been expecting a visit from his brother so early after Asher had come by. It had been awhile since his former Tacoma brother had come by, so it kind of had him tense to see him.

"How ya doin' brother?" Kozik asked as Happy leant on the table and looked at his brother who was grinning ear to ear.

"What the fucks got you so happy?" Happy growled. What the fuck was with Koz looking so damn happy at the sight of him being in jail. He was getting cagey. He'd done a few stints, longer than this and never regretted the actions that put him there. Sure he regretted getting caught, but he served his time, he dealt with it. But the look on Ashers face the other day when she'd come by had kept him lying there at night awake, hoping his girl was okay. He'd never had that.

"Got some good news brother."

"Yeah?"

"Real good news." Kozik knew he hated having to wait for answers.

"You're fuckin' lucky I'm missing pussy and freedom brother, or I would come over this fuckin' table." He threatened, seeing Koziks grin get bigger.

"I come bearing news about your pussy." Kozik said and Happy felt even tenser.

"What the fucks happened?"

Kozik pulled out a rectangle of paper from his cut and slid it across the table. Happy could hear the blood pounding in his ears as he reached over and took the piece of paper, flipping it over quickly.

"You, brother, are the proud father of Peter James Lowman." The picture was of Asher, her long pretty blonde hair hanging over her shoulder and taking up a quarter of the photo, but he was focussed on the little sleeping face in the picture. Wrapped up in a blue blanket was his son. "Congratulations brother."

"She wasn't due for another month." Happy felt something choke him slightly.

"There were some complications, the kid couldn't get enough oxygen or somethin', anyways- he's alright now. Healthy as a horse." Happy couldn't drag his eyes from the picture. He thought when he laid eyes on his kid for the first time; he wouldn't feel overly attached to the little human. But staring at the picture, seeing the smile on Ashers face, a real smile not that shit she gave everyone else, a big smile that she usually reserved for him, he felt something clutch as his chest.

He was a father.

"He's a bit on the small side, but the Doc said he was gunna be fine."

"How's the girl?" Happy rasped. If they'd had complications, was she alright?

"She's gotta stay in hospital for a week or so, til they're sure her stitches are alright." Kozik answered and Happy swallowed the lump in his throat. Asher had mentioned in passing that she was having a natural birth, healing was quicker and she wouldn't have a scar. He was alright with that. He knew she hated the scar she already had. It was one of the only things that she was shy about.

"Stitches?"

"They had to cut her open, man. But she's fine."

"Shit bro." Happy ran a hand over his face.

"Like I said, she's fine. Your girls a tough bitch." Happy nodded taking a deep breath. Koz was right, his girl was a tough bitch.

"Yeah she is."

* * *

><p><strong>Stockton CA <strong>

**25****th**** December 2008 **

Asher tapped her foot impatiently as she stood in the visitation room. Thankfully the morning Christmas crowd had passed and it was quiet enough as she rocked her baby back and forth in her arms, waiting for Happy.

The buzzing of the door had been going every minute for the last ten minutes as each prisoner came to see their loved ones. Hoping that when it buzzed again, it would be Happy, Asher watched the door every few seconds until it finally sounded and Happy stepped out.

The familiar fluttering in her stomach increased ten fold as he laid his eyes on her and strode over. This was the first visit she'd been able to give him since she'd had little Petey and she was freaking out how Happy was going to take the first meeting.

He reached her, still standing there and Asher bit her lip.

"Merry Christmas." She said quietly, remembering the last Christmas they'd been together, near eight or nine years ago.

"You too baby girl." He rasped, his eyes holding hers for a few seconds before looking down at Ashers arms. "Shit." She swore she heard him chuckle and Asher extended the green wrapped bundle to him.

Happys large hands made Petey look even smaller as he held him up and Asher helped him hold the baby properly, but he worked it out, probably from instinct.

"Blue eyes." Happy commented and Asher nodded. A lot of babies were born with blue eyes, but she had a feeling his weren't going to change colour.

"He's got dark hair though." She said quietly, reaching out and pushing up the little beanie to show Happy the small tufts of brown hair on their baby's head. "Like his daddy."

"Shit girl." His eyes were on hers now, and she felt like he was trying to convey to her that he was proud of her. When she got the message, he sat down, still cradling his son and Asher sat as well, taking a mental picture of the perfect scene.

Her man and her baby. Together.

"He's small." Happy commented and Asher nodded.

"He's a lot bigger than they expected him to be by now. He's growing like a weed." Asher said, watching Happys bare hands tug the little beanie back onto Petey's head again before looking up at her.

"How're you doin, girl?"

"I'm good." Despite the lack of sleep she was getting, the constant fussing of Gemma, Koz and Sarah this made it all worth it.

"How's the stitches?" Asher winced as she realised Koz had told him about her operation.

"I'm probably going to need a massive tat to cover this one up." She replied and Happys jaw ticked. "Really, its fine . We all got out of it in one piece."

"What happened?" He growled quietly, his eyes never leaving hers as Petey lay quietly in his arms. He was so used to strong warm arms by now, Koz couldn't keep his hands off him, and Chibs had an obsession with picking him up everytime he saw them as well. As far as her kid was concerned, large tattooed arms were where he belonged.

"Nothing, really it's fine." Anxiety had brought it on. The doctors had informed her that her high blood pressure due to stress had made her unable to carry full term. But she couldn't tell Happy that. That would mean she'd have to tell him everything. She wasn't going to risk her relationship with him until she was certain about what Pete and Collie had said to her about her parents. "Guess he's just impatient." She added, giving him a wink.

"You heading to Maddies for dinner?" He asked, realising he wasn't going to get a straight answer from her and Asher shook her head.

"No, Gemma put the foot down. She wants us all at hers." Happys lip twitched and Asher rolled her eyes. "I'm going to drop in and see your mum on the way back."

"How's she goin?" Asher bit her lip. Nora was not well. She'd been in for another round of chemo and it seemed like this endless cycle was never going to end.

"She's fine, Hap." She lied. There was no use him worrying when he was in prison. "Tessa's looking after her." Asher couldn't help the way she said Tessa's name. The woman still left a bad taste in Ashers mouth. The older woman had had Asher leaving Petey behind with Gemma when she went to see Nora, because she was certain the old bitch would snatch her baby if she could. Nora did her best to defend Asher, but she didn't expect Happys mum to stand up for her. Tessa was Nora's blood.

"What'd that old bitch do?" He asked, obviously noticing her distaste of his aunt.

"Nothing Hap."

"You seem to be sayin' that a lot today Ash." He growled, obviously avoiding swearing in front of their baby. It was kind of sweet. "Stop lyin'."

"She just…she means well." She tried to make out like she meant it, "I mean, I never even thought about adoption until she brought it up." She spat the words out and saw Happy grit his teeth, the movement causing his jaw to twitch.

"Adoption?"

"Yeah, she said something about letting him get raised by family. I just…" She levelled with him. "Back then I couldn't imagine someone raising our kid, and now…" Smiling softly she looked down at the baby. She'd never felt the overpowering love she had for that child, the closest being the affection she had for Sarah. It made it hard for her to imagine how a parent could ever bail on their child. Or become a raging alcoholic. "I couldn't ever give him up Happy." Glancing back at Happys dark glare she felt her stomach roll. This was one of those defining moments, when he said something that would make or break her heart.

"I won't let that happen, girl." He said quietly and Asher nodded, biting her lip and holding his gaze.

"Promise?" She asked, trying not to sound weak or needy.

"Yeah, if that's whatcha need." Nodding again, Asher reached over and brushed her thumb over their baby's cheek before remembering she'd brought him a present.

"I've got something for you." Pulling the piece of paper out of the pocket in her dress, she held it out to him. She knew he didn't have to unfold it to know what it was. He'd apparently held onto it for the last eight years. He shifted Petey so he was in one arm, and reached out and took the paper. "They wouldn't let me give you the locket- said they'd put it in your belongings, but I don't trust their sticky fingers." Asher said softly.

"Where'd you get this?"

"Pete had it, it's what he left me. How did my locket end up with it?" She asked, raising an eyebrow as Happy pushed the paper into his pants pocket.

"Found it in ya' car when you broke down that time." He replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And you just kept it?" She wasn't angry, she was flattered, warmed even.

"Forgot I had it." He replied and Asher smirked.

_Sure he did._

"Well, don't leave it lying around." The comment hung between them as she hoped he got the message. She wasn't going to leave him anytime soon.

"Yeah, I won't girl."

* * *

><p>AN:What did you think? Please review!


	69. Chapter 69

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Soooo I'm watching another Kurt Sutter masterpiece- the Shield. I actually started watching it last year before I'd ever seen Sons and it's so weird to go back and recognise all the people. And there's just something sexy about Kenny Johnston even if Kurt Sutter clearly has it out for him (jokes) I love him as Lem and Koz. If you have never watched The Shield - do it! The main characters are all pricks but it's sooo good. Clearly Kurt Sutter is a god.

I hope you enjoy this next chapter - it answers a few more questions! And as usual all feedback is appreciated. Also thank you all so much for the great reviews for the last chapter and of course the continued support! Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Nine- The Hardest of Hearts<strong>

_There is love in your body but you can't get it out  
>It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth<br>Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face_  
><em>That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste<em>  
><em>Darling heart, I loved you from the start<em>  
><em>But you'll never know what a fool I've been<em>  
><em>Darling heart, I loved you from the start<em>  
><em>But that's no excuse for the state I'm in<em>  
><em>The hardest of hearts<em>  
><em>-<strong>Florence + The Machine<strong>_

**Charming CA **

**3****rd**** February 2009 **

It was only six months until Happy and the others were released.

It was the first time Asher, after putting the baby down to sleep, had dared to venture out to the garage.

Months ago, when she'd still been incredibly hormonal and eating hotdogs for breakfast, lunch and dinner, she'd tried to look at the bike and ended up sobbing on the garage step from the kitchen. A sheet had been thrown over it since, and she hadn't stepped foot into the garage.

Happys birthday had been a week ago. She'd taken Petey to visit him and at the mention of his birthday they'd both fell into silence as the realisation of their age difference hung between them. He was forty-three. She'd be twenty-nine in three weeks. It wasn't like he looked old, it just spoke volumes to be the girl, fourteen years his junior with his baby in her arms.

Standing on the step from the kitchen into the garage, Asher stared at the sheet covered bike.

"Not today." She sighed, turning around and heading back into the kitchen, berating herself for being so weak.

Picking up stray towels and dishcloths, as well as a few of Petey's bibs, Asher made her way into the laundry. Tossing the items on top of the dryer she saw one of Petey's bibs slip down the back.

"Crap." The distinct scraping of claws on the hardwood floor resulted in a wet nose pushing into her arm as Asher scrambled behind the dryer for the bib. "Grumpy, fuck off." She snapped, but the dog didn't stop, starting to lick her face and Asher batted him away as she turned to glare at the dog while reaching for the bib, trying not to imagine all the spiders that were watching her hand flail back and forth while she cursed at the dog. She stopped abruptly when her fingers hit something pointy. She managed to move around and grasp the object, pulling it out from behind the drier and coming face to face with the yellow manila envelope with her name on the front of it.

Without hesitation, Asher ripped the seal as she sat on the laundry floor and lifted out the sheets of paper. It was a thick pile, the top having a post it note stuck to it.

_Asher. _

She pinched the post it and flicked it away as she took in the documents in front of her.

The top one was a police report, she recognised it from the same way her fathers had been typed out. The Tacoma Sheriff Department logo was in the corner and at the top of the page in the victims column, there in thick typing, evident of a typewriter was one name.

_Matilda Morrow. _

"Shit." Asher scanned the page. The answers that she was so desperate for weren't on the page. So she flipped it over and sat it on the floor in front of the pitbull that had taken a seat, watching her. The next page was familiar- her fathers report.

The next two were also police reports. The names of the victims making Ashers stomach churn.

_Peter Davies. _

_Reginald Thomson. _

She scanned the pages and didn't see anything important in them. She knew all the details of Reg Thomson murder, she'd been there. Pete's though obviously doctored to keep the Sons out of trouble, didn't really show anything important either.

The did the same with both reports, she put them on top of her mothers and stared at the paper in front of her. It had the Tacoma Sheriffs department logo in the top left hand corner and the title:

_Official Ballistics report. _

Bullets?

Something twitched in her mind and she jumped up, running down the hall to her bedroom and scrambling under the bed for the box where she'd stashed Pete's findings, taking them into the laundry where she laid out what she had so far.

Her mothers report, her fathers, Petes, Reg Thomson.

Nothing jumped out.

"Rationally Asher." Taking a deep breath she looked at them trying to see a link.

They were all attached to her somehow, but she reminded herself to stay rational, this wasn't about her.

Mayans claimed they didn't kill her mother.

Did they kill her father?

Pete was killed in a shootout, that she didn't know the details of, but she was pretty sure it wasn't Mayans.

And Reg Thomson had been killed right in front of her, by Happy.

Realising it was pretty damn obvious; she took her mothers report and put it off to the side, focussing on the last three. The three that had happened in the last decade. Ten years- ten years since her and Happy had started whatever it was that they had.

Once the three were side by side she could see the similarities.

All three had occurred in Tacoma.

All three were executed with a nine millimetre.

She picked up each ballistic report and leafed through them. They confirmed that the murder weapon in each case was a nine millimetre. There was even an outline of the bullet.

The spy movies always said that each gun had it's own fingerprint. Like an imprint that they made on the bullet so that they could be matched.

Looking around the laundry Asher couldn't see anything useful so she clambered off the floor and walked down the hall, seeing a pile of CD's next to the television.

"Nice." Picking one up, she pulled the sleeve and the CD out before grabbing a permanent marker from the kitchen and taking them back to the laundry. Sitting down, she crossed her legs and reminded herself that she was incredibly paranoid before putting the clear front of the CD case over the outline of the bullet from Reg Thomson murder.

It was the first one in the timeline, so that's where she needed to start.

Tracing the outline with the pen she held it up and looked over at Grumpy who was sleeping beside her now. He was clearly no help.

Putting the ballistics report on top of the police report for the same crime, she held up the CD case with the black outline on it before looking down at the ballistics report for her fathers murder. Taking a deep breath she put the cover over the outline on that report, turning it around.

"Son of a Bitch."

Grumpy lifted his head up and looked at her, cocking his head to the side.

"Not you…" She was momentarily distracted. "Actually…" The dog barked at her slightly before lying his head down again clearly not liking the insult. She had a lot of conversations with him like this these days.

Turning her attention back to the reports in front of her, she put the report on her fathers case report and looked down at Petes ballistic report.

There was no way it would match.

Taking a deep breath she put the case on the outline of the bullet, turning the case until…

"Oh my god."

It matched.

Three murders, one gun.

Reg Thomson was the first murder. She'd been there. Happy had killed him with three bullets from the gun in the holster on his shoulders before he'd been shipped off to jail.

The first murder was committed with Happys gun.

* * *

><p><em>Happy didn't move. He didn't try to push Asher away or loosen his grip on the child in his other arm. Not a chance in Hell. "I said hands in the air!" The voice yelled again and Asher knew she had to do something before Happy got shot. <em>

"_Let me go." She said softly and Happy let her go slowly, his eyes never leaving the cops surrounding them and Asher reached into his cut, grabbing the guns from the holster inside and holding them up in surrender before checking the safety and sliding them across the bricked ground and holding her hands up. _

_The cops swooped then, one stepping forward to pick up Happys pieces before the first one to reach them grabbed Asher, pulling her away. She didn't get a chance to see what they did to Happy, but she heard Sarah start screaming out his name as they dragged her away from him. Asher remained quiet as she was shoved towards an ambulance, and she could finally get a glimpse at the scene around her. Happy was down on his knees in front of the room, his hands getting cuffed behind his back as he glared at the police officer standing over him._

* * *

><p>Asher woke with a start.<p>

It wasn't out of the ordinary these days. On the baby monitor next to the bed Asher could hear Petey gurgling and tiredly crawled out of bed, going to the kitchen and starting the coffee machine while she microwaved a bottle of milk for her baby.

She didn't know how she'd made it to bed last night. Her head had been spinning from the information overload and it had taken a lot of willpower to go to bed. Stress was something she couldn't risk.

Walking down the hall, she picked Petey up, smiling as soon as she saw his gorgeous face. His dark hair and bright blue eyes made for a startling combination, but he was so beautiful.

"Hello my gorgeous boy." She cooed, sitting down on the rocking chair and cradling him, holding the bottle to his lips and he opened them to suck on the bottle. "You need to learn to sleep in darling, it's five am." She chuckled. At least he slept most of the night.

As Petey sucked on the bottle her thoughts drifted back to her dream. Obviously the information Bill Hayden had given her had stirred up the old memories. Usually it took less than that – sometimes just the mention of the attack brought her nightmares.

But Bills information indicated that Happys gun, the same one that had been used to kill Reg Thomson in the dodgy room in the back of Jonesys bar in Tacoma, matched the ballistics of the bullets used to kill her father and her best friend.

How was it possible though? The gun would have been in evidence at the Sheriffs department. Right?

The bottle in her hand was empty and Asher slung a towel over her shoulder and adjusted Petey so he was over her shoulder, patting his back gently to burp him as she rocked back and forth in the chair.

Finally when Petey was asleep she put him back down in his cot and tapped the mobile above it to start it spinning, smiling as she watched the little blue teddy bears spin around and around.

With one last look at Petey she went back down to the laundry where everything was still laid out on the floor. Leaning down she picked up the reports from Reg Thomson murder and scanned the ballistics report once again before flipping to the crime report, where in the notes section were the words:

_One nine millimetre was seized but the murder weapon was not retrieved. _

"Fucking Sons." She growled looking at the report. She'd taken two guns from Happys holsters. One of them had been the murder weapon, she had thrown them on the ground. She hadn't been watching the cops, she'd been watching Happy. She always assumed that they'd gotten both guns.

So there was the possibility that either the cop had picked it up and given it back to the Sons, or he'd never picked it up in the first place and it was sheer luck that it was the murder weapon. She saw the benefits of no murder weapon. There was no way they could be certain that Reg Thomson had been killed with Happys gun if only one that wasn't the murder weapon had been retrieved. It probably contributed to the aggravated assault charge Happy got rather than homicide.

Hell, there was only one person she could ask.

* * *

><p><strong>Stockton CA <strong>

**4th February 2009**

The loud buzzer at Stockton rang and Asher looked up to see Happy striding towards her as she sat at the table, her hands folded in front of her.

She'd gotten to Gemmas just before eight and had been thankful that the Queen had willingly taken Petey for a few hours. It hurt to be so far away from him, he was only three months old and it was the first time she'd been away from him for more than an hour.

"Where's the kid?" Happy asked as he took a seat across from her. It was comforting that the first thing he asked about was their child.

"He's with Gemma." She answered. Tara was almost ready to have her baby, so Gemma was starting to get a bit clucky and grateful to take on any of the kids.

"You been sleepin'?" He asked, obviously seeing the bags under her eyes and the lank condition of her hair. But she had to muse, he made it too easy for her sometimes.

"Not really." She sighed and watched him lean forward on the table and glare at her, while she avoided his gaze.

"Kid?"

"No…well…" She flickered her eyes up to his. She felt bad for doing this, manipulating him into giving her the answers she wanted. She could tell him the truth, but every instinct in her body was telling her not to tell him anything until she had all the answers. The last thing she wanted to do was start pointing fingers at Sons. "Just memories."

His face softened slightly.

"'Bout?"

"That night…" She gave him a pained look. "Don't worry about it." Cutting herself off was genuine. She didn't like doing this to Happy and she knew he'd flip if he worked out she was manipulating him.

"You came here for a reason, Asher, spit it out." He growled and Asher realised he knew what she was getting at. "What got you thinkin' about it?"

"Don't know. I just…it's been bugging me." She said quietly. He didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue. "All I remember when we got outside, I took your guns from the holsters and threw them on the ground. And it's like on constant replay, like I'm missing something." She gave him a serious look. "I mean, the cops got both guns right? I don't have to worry about new evidence bringing up all that shit again do I Hap?" They could charge him with homicide and he could go away again if they found the murder weapon.

He narrowed his eyes into slits, like he was considering whether to tell her the truth or not. He straightened up and took a deep breath eyeing her up.

"You getting paranoid?"

"I've always been paranoid, Hap. Constantly watching my back like someone is coming after me." She replied quietly, "And usually it's because they are."

"What I say to ya' doesn't get spoken about, _ever."_ He growled, pointing a finger at her and Asher nodded. "Cops only got one gun," he looked around the room, "the wrong one. The other one got picked up by one-a our cops."

"Where is it now?" She asked quietly, leaning further forward.

"Locked in the safe at the SAMTAC clubhouse." He replied and Asher nodded, the wheels turning in her head.

"The one in the chapel?" She'd seen the safe the few times she'd been into the church. "The one all the seated members have the combination to?" She knew she was pushing it but she had to know.

"Nah, one the Prez only knows." He replied, his brow furrowing.

"Hap, why would they keep it?" Happy shrugged.

"Forgot about it."

"If I were to ask Lorca just to double check…" She rose an eyebrow and bit her lip, hoping she could call the SAMTAC president and confirm that the gun was indeed locked safely away.

"Fuck, how paranoid are ya?"

"I won't be able to sleep until I know, Hap." She pleaded and she saw his jaw tick and heard the deep intake of breath.

"Fine, fuck, ask 'im." He held his hands up and Asher gave him a small smile.

"Thank you."

"Like I had a fuckin' choice." He growled and Asher shrugged, winking at him.

"I promise it's worth it." She said coyly. He gave her an up and down appraisal and smirked.

"Yeah." Seeing his giving mood, Asher decided to ask him something else.

"Hap…do you trust Collie?"

"The PI?" he asked as if he hardly knew Collie.

"Yeah." He shrugged again.

"He's done a lot for the club."

"But do _you_ trust him?" She implored and he nodded, his jaw ticking. "And Bill Hayden?"

"He's a fuckin' Hayden Asher." He growled as if it was the worst thing to be.

"I'm a Hayden Happy." She snapped back and watched him sit back and glare at her.

"The fuck got your panties in a twist?" Asher looked down and shook her head.

"Nothing, I just…I've got a lot going on at the moment." That didn't relax him, but she didn't care. Happy had made a valid point, the same one she'd made when she first found Pete's letter. Bill was a Hayden. He may be willing to screw her over to help himself, but she was a Hayden too, she could play the game just as well. "God, this is the longest I've gone with out Petey." She admitted and saw him relax a bit.

"How's he goin'?"

"In the week since you saw him?" She asked, smiling slightly. "He's still waking up early." She sighed. "Like his dad that way."

"What? He an early riser?" he asked, as if proud and Asher couldn't help herself.

"No," She smirked, "he'd do anything for tits."

This got a smile.

"Got that right. Speakin' of." He jerked his head towards her shirt and Asher rolled her eyes at him.

"Six months, killer. Then they're all yours."

* * *

><p>As soon as Asher was back in her car she dialled Lorca from her prepay, from the contacts in her main phone.<p>

It rang twice before the Presidents gruff voice came down the line.

"It's Asher." She said meekly, imagining the president glancing at his phone and seeing the blocked number. "I need a favour- no questions asked."

"How big?"

"You don't even have to leave the clubhouse." Asher countered and Lorca chuckled.

"Right, what's up?"

"Can you check whether Happy's nine is still in the safe?" She spat out before waiting impatiently for the president to reply.

"Hap doesn't have a gun in the safe in the church, doll." He replied and Asher rolled her eyes. "Why do ya wanna know?"

"No questions remember?" She sighed, "He said it was in the safe you only have a combination to."

"You mean the…" Lorca started and Asher nodded even though the president couldn't see her.

"Yeah."

"Baby, no ones touched that gun in ten years. I promise ya it's there." Asher wasn't so sure.

"Can you please have a look?" She heard a grunt which was probably Lorca getting up and shuffling his way down to wherever the safe was stashed. A minute or two later she finally heard some recognition of the safe being opened.

"Fuck me."

"What is it?" Asher asked, sitting up straight in the bench seat of the Camaro.

"It's not here."

"You sure?" She knew she was asking a bit much, but seriously?

"There was never anythin' in this safe but that gun, girl." He replied and Asher inwardly groaned. So the reports were right. Whoever had taken that gun from the safe had used it to kill her father and Pete. So either Happy had broken out of jail and shot her father, or…

"Would it have been given to someone for some reason?" She asked, not really willing to put the blame on a Son just yet.

"Coulda been used to frame someone for the kill." He replied but they both knew that wasn't true. Everyone, even the cops knew that Happy killed Reg Thomson, there was hardly anyway to deny it.

"You weren't President when the gun was put in there, right?" She asked and heard Lorca swear again.

"No." Maybe Blue took the gun from the safe for a reason like to destroy it or put it in a safer place. "Look baby, sure it just got put somewhere else. I'll ask around, someone probably doesn't even realise they have it."

Yeah, or it had ended up in the wrong hands and killed her father and best friend.

"Sure, thanks Lorc."

"I won't let anythin' happen to ya Killer." He reassured her and Asher had to smile slightly.

"Thanks Lorc." Then he hung up. No doubt thinking the same thing Asher was.

Where the fuck was that gun?

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA <strong>

**14****th**** March 2009**

"Hello gorgeous." Baby Thomas Teller was gorgeous, wrapped up snuggly in his Sons beanie and a blue blanket. Only a few days old, his mother was in awe of him, just like Asher was with Petey. "How are you?" Asher asked as Tara sat down in the staff lounge at St Thomas'.

"I'm good." Tara smiled before looking down at her baby again. "I actually wanted to ask you something." Asher looked up from Thomas at the good doctor. "You knew John Teller didn't you?" For the last month, Asher had been so caught up with going back to work, she hadn't had time to do anything about the information she'd found out. She was surprised how easily she seemed to be able to compartmentalize everything.

"Yeah…" Asher said cautiously, "he was my godfather."

John Teller had taught her how to play Fleur De Lisle at Uncle Toms funeral when she was a child. When he'd died, she'd been just fourteen. A week before his death, an old acoustic guitar had turned up at her house with a note on it saying it was from her godfather, and that he was sorry he couldn't be there for her.

"I found some old letters, the day the boys went away." Tara said quietly, "From a woman he was with in Belfast."

"What like love letters?" Asher found it hard to believe that a man she'd looked up to, that so many people had looked up to had an affair with an irish woman. Then she had to remind herself that that was perfectly normal in this life. As long as they didn't bring it home. The thought made her stomach churn at the idea that when he was out, Happy might start cheating on her when he was out of town.

"Yeah, sort of." Tara looked around to check no one was listening in on their conversation. "I tried to talk to Piney about it…but he said things should be left in the past." Piney, the old man that had talked her ear off countless times about the old days wasn't willing to talk about John Tellers indiscretions.

"People don't like talking about things that change their views." Or things that could get them into trouble. She doubted though, that Piney had any idea about what Asher knew about the past.

"It wasn't about the affair, Asher." Tara said quietly. "You know I trust you, Jax trusts you." Jax trusted her for a lot of reasons but Asher wasn't sure what Tara was getting at. "John Teller thought that Clay and Gemma were trying to kill him." She whispered and Asher felt her blood run cold. "He wrote all these…" Asher held up her hand and shook her head.

"Tara." She said sternly, leaning forward on knees and meeting the doctors eyes. "Get rid of them." She warned.

"What? No." Tara snapped, standing up and Asher jumped to her feet to stop the new mother, grabbing her arm.

"Tara, if anyone finds out you know about this, they're going to hurt you." She growled quietly at Tara despite the baby between them. "They don't take well to these kinds of accusations." Taras eyes narrowed at Asher before stepping back.

"You knew." Asher felt that sickness in her stomach again. "You know what happened to JT don't you?"

"Tara, Piney was right, leave it in the past." She warned. "If you tell Jax you're going to destroy him, this club…"

"You." Tara said quietly. "Clay will hurt you won't he."

Asher shook her head. Clay had never threatened her personally.

"No. He won't hurt me." She said quietly, begging with the doctor, "he'll kill Happy." She knew that the moment Clay thought she was a threat he would do something to Happy to cripple her. Either send him away, nomad or to jail, or even kill him. She knew the love Happy had for the club. If Clay said jump, Happy would ask how high. That's why for the last couple of months she hadn't dared to say anything about her findings. "I made a promise not to say anything so that I could live here, have my baby and my Old Man. Giving the letters to Jax won't bring John Teller back, Tara, it will just hurt you and your family." She said quietly.

"You believe Clays threats?" Tara asked and Asher nodded. "Okay. I won't say anything."

"I'm serious Tara, get rid of them. Burn them." Tara nodded again.

"Okay."

Asher had been fourteen when John Teller had been killed by a semi. Dragged two hundred metres trapped underneath. Her grandmother had gone to Tacoma and picked Asher up and driven her back to Charming, despite the fact that her father was nowhere to be seen. During the funeral she'd watched his closest family – Gemma and Jax sit beside the coffin, cut clad backs surrounding them.

After the funeral, they'd all gone back to the clubhouse, but Asher had left, choosing to walk back to Clays house. Beside Jax, she didn't know anyone in Charming, so going back to Clays was the easiest thing for her to do. When she'd gotten there, she'd sat out on the back patio and just stared at the dry barren backyard much like her one in Tacoma.

Madster and Clay hadn't realised she was there when they got back, arguing in the kitchen, where Asher could see them in the window. Madster had screamed at Clay, told him he was stupid, that his father would be rolling in his grave. If he hadn't been her own flesh and blood she would have turned him in for murder.

And that's how Asher had found out that it was Clay that had tampered with John Tellers bike, then cleaned up any witnesses. And that was how she learned that you could never trust anyone, because there was her grandmother, the woman that Asher looked up to, standing by her sons side like he had never done anything wrong.

All over some goddamn club.

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA <strong>

**1st May 2009**

"You've been avoiding me." Asher said quietly when she sat down across from Tara in the SAMCRO clubhouse, cradling Petey in her arms as the doctor breastfed baby Thomas. They were quite the pair- the young mothers of SAMCRO.

"Didn't think you'd want to talk to me." Tara replied, glancing up at Asher, her newly cut brunette bangs hanging in front of her eyes.

"We're friends Tara." She didn't miss the look the doctor gave her.

_Really? _

"How's he going?" Asher quickly changed the subject, jerking her head towards the baby.

"He's really good. Abels not liking the lack of attention though." She sighed. "Gemma's been taking him for a few hours a day just to keep him happy."

"Jealous big brother?"

"Something like that. How's Sarah taking her new rival?" Tara teased and Asher smirked, looking down at her own child.

"I'm more worried about Grumpy getting jealous than Sarah." Asher replied honestly. Sarah loved her little brother, but that just came with age. But the pitbull, he hadn't really been jealous either. He'd taken on the role of protector, and when Asher wasn't paying him attention, he would go into the nursery and curl up in front of the cot, guarding Petey. Her grandmother and Nora had been anxious about Asher keeping the dog in the first place. Babies and pitbulls didn't mix and Asher had taken extra precautions, but so far the dog hadn't done anything to test Ashers trust.

"I don't know how you trust that huge dog around him." Tara replied and Asher shrugged, a smile creeping onto her face.

"I trust him with his father, the dog has the same tendencies." That finally got a smirk from Tara.

"I'm sure he appreciates you thinking that too."

"Yeah Grumpys cool with it." Asher joked, watching Taras smile widen as she pulled Thomas away from her chest and tugged her shirt back down.

"Did you just crack a joke?" Tara propped Thomas up on her shoulder and patted his back gently as the tiny baby lay there.

"I…" Asher was cut off when Gemma stalked into the clubhouse and saw the two of them talking.

"You two trading babies in here?" She asked sternly and Asher shared a look with Tara.

"Nice to see you too Gemma." Asher said sweetly and watched the Old Lady roll her eyes at Asher before turning her attention to Petey.

"Shit, his eyes are so blue." Gemma reached down and pushed the beanie on the baby's head up to reveal the brown hair. "Trust you to have such a pretty baby." Since Thomas had been born, Gemma hadn't been babysitting Petey at all, and with Asher taking him to work with her on her night shifts behind the reception, the Queen hadn't seen him. Gemma held out her arms and Asher stood up, handing him over so that Gemma could hug him closely to her body. "Still not getting much sleep?"

Asher shrugged. Not really. Between work starting, and looking after Petey, she hadn't had a chance to deal with the nightmares that kept her tossing and turning all night.

"Don't worry sweetheart, they'll all be home soon."

The Queen was right. In three months they would be back. She would have her old man back.

"Would you like some coffee?" Asher asked, quickly changing the subject and seeing the Queen nod, before turning her attention to Tara. "Tea?"

"Sure." Smiling at both of them, Asher headed towards the kitchenette where one of the Prospects, Miles she thought his name was, was starting the kettle.

"Coffee?" He asked and Asher nodded.

"Thanks."

"What're all you ladies doing here?" He asked sweetly as he filled the coffee machine and Asher reached up to get some mugs from the overhead cupboard.

"Gemmas house is getting fumigated, so pot lucks here tonight." She replied, and her, Tara and Lyla would be doing all the hard work considering there weren't many hangarounds hanging-around these days.

"Oh nice." Miles nodded and went about starting the coffee machine as Asher heard the unmistakable cry of her son.

"Tara wants tea." She told the prospect before walking out into the clubhouse to see Gemma trying to bounce a bright red screaming Petey.

"Someones a mummys boy." Gemma said, handing Petey back to Asher, who rocked him gently.

"Come on baby, stop crying." She shushed, moving away from the women as Lyla came in, to put Petey back in his stroller to rock him back and forth. Eventually he calmed down and Asher rolled the stroller over to the table where the rest of the women were sitting, just as Myles came out with their coffees. This was the mandatory catch up before they were all put to work, Gemma lulling them into a false sense of security.

* * *

><p>AN: Review...please.


	70. Chapter 70

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the reviews! They were all amazing- got a bit of feedback on where people think I'm heading with this. Eg. who Ashers father is, who killed certain people, and why. It's great to get all this feedback and I really appreciate it. Can't believe we finally made it to 600 reviews and that wouldn't be possible without all your unwavering support! Thank you so much!

This chapter is pretty full on and it's the last chapter before Happy gets back so I'm trying to wrap up all the stuff that's been happening. Let me know what you think- good and bad! And above all- Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy- Ashes<strong>

_And we'll dance on the ashes of what's left,  
>As long as these hearts beat in our chests.<br>And we fell through the railings and pavements,  
>While I wondered if they get what I get.<br>And I promise you I won't be leaving,  
>Without taking you where I go.<br>See the price of belief's in believing.  
>Anywhere that we go we'll be share this same old song.<br>__**-The Beautiful Girls **_

**Charming CA **

**4****th**** June 2009 **

Asher stared at the pre-pay in her hand before she quickly glanced down at the baby sleeping in the cot. She needed to call Bill Hayden. She didn't like the idea, but it had been quite a few months since she'd found out that Happys gun had escaped and been on a killing rampage.

"Yo, I'm heading off." Kozik was standing in the doorway, his road gear on.

"Okay, have a safe trip." Kozik was heading to Tacoma for a few weeks, before the Charming boys got out. She'd be left in Charming now with nothing but SAMCRO for protection. At least Sarah would be home for summer in a few days.

"Hey, you got your gun?" He asked, halfway out the door and Asher rose her eyebrows at him.

"I'm fine by myself." It was the first time he'd left her behind indefinitely. A year ago, Herman Kozik was not someone she thought would be helping her through a dodgy pregnancy and watching her every move. Now, well things had changed.

Kozik reached into his cut and held out one of his guns and Asher reached out to take it, stopping short.

"I know you already have a nine, but this has got a bit more power." He jerked the gun in his hand but Asher was momentarily frozen taking in the scene in front of her. Koziks hand, covered in the black leather glove was holding the gun out to her.

She had a sudden flashback to all the times Happy had handled the gun she kept on the bedside table. He'd handed it to her barehanded everytime. Both their fingerprints were all over it.

Unlike the gun that had been used to kill Reg Thomson.

Happy had had his gloves on when he'd pulled the trigger.

Asher hadn't had gloves on when she'd pulled the guns from his holsters. That would mean that her fingerprints were all over that gun.

"Asher?" Kozik waved a hand in front of her and Asher looked up at him, finally snapping out of her train of thought. "You alright?"

"Yeah fine." She pasted a smile on her face. "Can you just leave it in the kitchen?" He watched her for a second more before nodding.

"Aight, see ya Doll." He came forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, before leaving, Asher watching the reaper go out the door.

She didn't have any second thoughts as she flipped open the prepay in her hand and dialled the number.

"Tacoma Sheriffs Department."

"Sheriff Bill Hayden please."

"Putting you through." They were a bit lax in security over there at the Sheriffs Department.

"Sheriff Bill Hayden." Her uncles voice came down the line and Asher took a deep breath.

"Its Asher." There was silence on the other end and she heard the phone get put down before a door slam in the background and the sound of the phone getting picked up again.

"Been waiting for your call." He said and Asher took a seat in the rocking chair. "For about twelve months."

"Why did you give me all that stuff, Bill?" Asher asked, ignoring his small talk.

"Because you needed to know the truth." He replied.

"The truth about what Bill? I already know the truth- my parents, Pete, they're all dead." She snapped, hating that Bill was skirting around the truth itself.

"You worked something out, otherwise you wouldn't have called."

"Yeah, I worked something out." Asher replied. She wasn't ready to confess what she knew just yet, she wasn't exactly sure why Bill Hayden was helping her. "But I want to know why you switched teams."

"I didn't switch teams girl." Bill said sternly, "I always knew where my loyalties lay, I was just waiting for you to work out where yours were." Asher huffed, trying to calm herself down and reminding herself she might have to play Bills game to get what she wanted.

"Fine. Where do your loyalties lie then Bill?"

"With your mother." Of all the things Asher had been waiting to hear, it hadn't been that. "I saw you heading down the same path as she did, and I tried to stop you. I loved your mother- she deserved so much more than she got."

"She's dead Bill."

"I know. I loved her so much, and she's dead."

Déjà vu.

How many men had loved her mother, and how many had she loved back?

"Was Frank my father?" She asked softly. Silence followed and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke again. "Was he my father, Bill?"

"I don't know Asher." Bill finally replied.

"You don't know, or you can't tell me?"

"I posted you some more things, keep doin' what you're doing." He said and Asher realised he was not really going to be any help over the phone. "Anymore questions?"

"Yeah." Before he went she needed a question answered. "If a murder weapon was used in a shooting over the border…"

"The FBI would be involved." Right, so if the gun that had been used to kill Reg Thomson, Frank Hayden and Pete came into California, the FBI would be knocking on her door. It would bring the Feds down on Happy as well. There would no doubt be a re-opening of Coach Ainsleys and the emo kid Adams disappearance as well as Cameron McEvoys murder because every single one of them had a common factor.

_Her._

"Hang on." She heard Bill say before there was scuffling. "What're you doing here?"

"Bill?" Asher asked when she heard silence.

The next thing she heard was a thump before her paranoia got the better of her and she hung up, wrenching the sim and the battery out of the back of the phone and snapping it in half. Looking at the crumpled heap on the floor of the nursery she tried to calm her racing heart.

What the hell just happened?

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**4****th**** June 2009 **

Bill Hayden lay slumped over his desk, blood pooling around his head from the hole in his temple. Removing the silencer, the gun was placed in Bills hand resting on the desk. Moving around the desk, the shooter glanced down at the desk phone, the receiver hanging from the cord, suspended in the air. Leaning down, he picked up the phone and held it to his ear, hearing nothing but the dial tone. Hitting the redial button with a gloved finger he was informed the number was no longer in service.

"Shit."

Putting the phone back in its cradle he reminded himself that he had a job to do and moved around the body, careful not to disturb anything. Leaning over the computer keyboard he pulled up a new word document and typed quickly smirking when he saw the open bottle of whiskey on the desk. Trust Bill Hayden to make this easier on them. When he was done, he did a thorough search of the desk for anything that could be linked to them. Fingering through piles of paperwork, he didn't recognise anything. The false bottom in the bottom drawer contained nothing but a spare revolver and a couple hundred bucks. Leaving both items there, he straightened and started for the door as his phone buzzed.

"Yeah it's done."

"Any witnesses?"

"No, no evidence either."

"Aight, get outta there." Hanging up, the killer took one last look at a very dead Bill Hayden before walking out the door, the reaper laughing in Bill Haydens face as it left.

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA <strong>

**4****th**** June 2009 **

Asher had managed to keep herself busy as she waited for Bill Hayden to somehow make contact with her. With Petey fed and cradled in her arms, Asher moved around the house, just trying to keep herself busy so that she didn't think about Bills words. Or the loud thump that had followed.

She knew she was being paranoid, but being paranoid had kept her alive all these years, so she wasn't going stop now.

Peteys giggling managed to distract her as she walked around, talking to him until a loud banging on the door started Grumpy barking and Asher could see Petey's eyes scrunch up and his face redden.

"Come on baby, don't cry." She hummed, "Mama doesn't like visitors either." She bounced the baby in her arms and started towards the door where Grumpy was barking. Stopping she went back to the kitchen and grabbed Koziks gun from the kitchen table and took it with her to the front door. Peeking out the curtain, she saw a blue uniform, the sheriffs patches a stark contrast to the deep blue.

"Shit." Putting the gun in the drawer under the window, Asher grabbed Grumpys collar with her free hand while holding Petey to her chest. "Come on tiger, back it up." She said to the dog and Grumpy sat while Asher pulled the door open.

"Miss Hayden." The dark skinned man took off his aviator sunglasses and gave her a small smile.

"Sheriff."

"Lieutenant Roosevelt." So the rumour was true. Charming PD had been pushed out and replaced by the very shiny, blue San Joaquin Sheriffs department. "I was wondering if I could have a word?"

"Come in. Don't mind the dog." Asher knew Happy would kill her if he knew she was letting a cop into the house but it was better than him standing on her doorstep. "Would you like some coffee?" She asked, heading towards the kitchen, knowing that the _Lieutenant_ was following her.

"Ah, coffee would be nice." Asher gave him a small smile, noticing that Grumpy was following him very closely. "Quite a guard dog you have there." Lieutenant Roosevelt said as he glanced nervously down at Grumpy who was watching him with beady eyes.

"He's a little bit protective." Asher said, popping Petey down in the bouncer that was on the ground. "Sugar, cream?"

"One sugar, no cream." Asher made the coffees and walked around the counter and placed one down on the table, gesturing for the officer to sit while she took a sip of coffee before slipping out a chair and sitting down herself.

"So what can I do for you?" She asked.

"I unfortunately have some bad news Miss Hayden-"

"Asher." The cop nodded.

"Asher, your Uncle Sheriff Bill Hayden committed suicide three hours ago." Well way to rip off the band aid. Asher choked on her coffee and put the mug down, reaching over gently to bounce Petey as he lay in the bouncer.

"He killed himself?" She asked quietly, glancing back up at Roosevelt.

"Yes, in his office at work." Three hours ago, when she'd been on the phone to him. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"My family aren't very close." She said quietly. Sitting up straight and holding onto her mug. "Did you know Bill?"

"I met him a few times. I've been in Cali a long time, had a few run-ins with him. He was a tough cop." He had no idea. Asher took another sip of her coffee before realising how weird it was she was getting a housecall from the Sheriffs Department when her uncle had apparently committed suicide.

"I don't mean to be rude Lieutenant, but why are you here?"

"Uh…well Miss- Asher, Tacoma Sheriffs Department called us. Apparently Bill asked you to be the first one notified if anything happened to him." Did the Lieutenant not realise that this completely contradicted the idea that Bill Hayden had shot himself?

"Oh." Looking back down at Petey, Asher tried to work out why.

"He's a gorgeous baby, how old is he?" The change of subject distracted Asher and she grinned down at her baby.

"Nearly eight months old."

"He's beautiful. He's got your eyes." The Lieutenant commented.

"Thank you. Do you have kids?" She asked, turning her attention back to the cop.

"No, my wife and I don't have any yet." Asher smiled softly. She noticed the hint of sadness in his voice.

"I never wanted kids, now I couldn't live without him."

"And the father?" He was nosy, nice, but nosy.

"He's not around at the moment." Asher replied vaguely and watched the cop nod before swallowing the rest of his coffee.

"Well, ma'am, thank you for the coffee. I best be off." He stood up and Asher followed him towards the door.

"Thank you for coming by and telling me." Asher said softly. It was nice that someone had come to tell her about her uncle.

"All part of the service." He nodded, putting his sunglasses on and stepping out onto the porch. "You're garden looks a bit bare." Asher looked out at the yellow grass and winced. Nora had made her all kinds of promises about helping her sort it out, but she hadn't had the energy. "My wifes just started a florist on Main. If you take that gorgeous baby with you, you might get a discount." With another nod, he turned and left, Asher feeling a little uneasy about how polite he was being to her. Clearly he hadn't done a background check.

Shutting the door behind her she flicked all the locks and leant against the back of it.

Bill Hayden hadn't killed himself.

He'd been murdered, while he was on the phone to her. That brought the death toll up to five. There was no blood on the Hayden side left. They were all dead.

"Jesus Christ." Going into the kitchen, she scooped a sleepy Petey up and took him down to the nursery, putting him in the cot and starting up the mobile when he started to stir. Then she went to her room and pulled the box from under the bed. She pulled all the paper out in front of her, photos of her parents and Happys locket.

Picking up the locket she reasoned that as soon as she had an idea about what was going on, she would tell Happy. The photos were off her mother and other SOA members- Clay, Gemma, Piney, John Teller, Frank, Uncle Tom, Blue. There were other people she did recognise but every single photo had a date on the back. She'd given most of the photos to Piney, but these ones were the same- all dated at least nine months before Asher was born. So what had happened in that time? Was one of these men her father? If so, how had Marcus Alvares fallen in love with Molly?

Going into Sarahs room, she sat at the desk and turned on the fancy printer she'd bought the teenager back in Seattle. According to the settings, you could photocopy, so one by one she photocopied every sheet twice and stapled them together so she had three piles. Picking up a pen from Sarahs colourful collection she hoped wasn't one of the expensive artsy ones she used.

Keeping the originals off to the side, Asher went through the papers, one by one, highlighting and writing notes in the margins about what she'd learnt so far. Once she was done she put one in the box on her bed and found a manila envelope to put the other lot in, writing a note and sealing the envelope shut. Taking a deep breath she wrote Collies name on the front and the address she had been texted a few days ago before putting it in her handbag. She'd post it when she got to Tacoma, now all she had to do was pack. She had a funeral to attend.

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

**4****th**** June 2009 **

"Is it true?" Kozik didn't even bother knocking on the door as he walked into the SAMTAC chapel and levelled with the president. Lorca sat forward, leaning on the table and looked up at him. "Is Bill Hayden dead?"

"Yeah, killed himself apparently." Lorca replied and Kozik could see the hesitation before the statement. There had once been three SAMTAC sons that were peas in a pod. Five years ago you would have looked at Lorca, Happy and Spanner and known that they were born killers. Now one of them was dead, one was locked up and the President looked as if the walls were crumbling down around him. "How'd ya hear?"

"The girl called me." Lorca looked down at his watch before looking up at Koz again.

"That was quick." Yeah, no kidding. But he'd long ago stopped trying to figure Asher out. "How's she going?" Kozik took a seat in his old SAA seat that was now filled by the ex-Nomad Bully and wondered if he should tell his old President about what had happened that morning. "She called here a few months ago, worried about Happy."

"Yeah," Koz nodded, "she's been kinda weird lately. Like her heads somewhere else." Lorca seemed to contemplate this before running a hand through his thinning dark hair.

"Shit." Lorca pulled a cigarette out and lit it, before he spoke again. "Haps gun is missing from the safe."

"He had a gun in the…" Koz trailed off. "The one that killed Sarahs rapist?" He realised, leaning forward and glared at his prez. "How the fuck did it get out of the safe? You're the only one with the combination." Lorca inhaled deeply, smoke billowing out his nostrils as he exhaled.

"I am aware of that." He growled and Koz was struck with how much he sounded like Happy at that point. "I never checked the safe when I was handed the gavel. I mean, fuck that nine was the only thing in there."

"You tell anyone else?" Koz asked. Yeah, he'd been hanging out with Asher and her paranoid ass too long.

"Nah, this stays between you and me. Asher knows it's missing, but I told her its just been shifted."

"She didn't believe you though." Koz scoffed and Lorca nodded.

"Bitch doesn't believe anything out of a Sons mouth, unless it's Haps." Lorca growled again and leant back in his chair, the gavel sitting idly nearby.

"Who ya think took it?" Koz asked and Lorca shrugged.

"I'm more interested in why."

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA<strong>

**10****th**** June 2009 **

The last time Asher had been in Tacoma for a funeral, she'd been pregnant. And now she stood with the rest of the mourners, her baby in her arms as she surveyed every single person that was there. Her grandparents on the Hayden side had died years ago, not long after Frank had been killed, so the only person that sat close to the coffin was Bills ex-wife. Last time Asher had seen the woman, her and Bill had been happily married. Showed how much seven or eight years could make a difference.

There were three SAMTAC members standing in the crowd, cut-less out of respect for the fallen Sheriff who was never a supporter of the club, even though he'd prospected for the Californian chapter. Lorca, Blue and Bowie stood in the second row nodding their greetings to her before the service had started.

Hopefully Opie had passed on the message through Jax to Happy about Bills death and her trip to Tacoma. She wanted to go and see him herself, but she forced herself to leave it. She was the one that was keeping shit from him, she couldn't go running to him as soon as she felt needy.

She'd had an appointment with Shaun Mitchell who in eight days would be sworn in as the Sheriff after all those years as a deputy the day before and he'd told her that he was the one that had called Charming. Had told her that Bill had sat him down twelve months ago and told him how to contact Asher. When she'd asked if he thought Bill was capable of killing himself Shaun's eyes had widened and said that all the evidence pointed to suicide.

The name and number of the forensic expert that was burned into her brain from the piece of paper Shaun had handed her before she'd left. She'd seen the look in his eye. Yeah, he was pretty sure it wasn't a suicide.

As the service ended, Asher put Petey in the stroller and went back to her car. Strapping him in, she stood up and smoothed down her dress before getting in the car.

* * *

><p>The guy that she found in the basement of the courthouse was not what she was expecting.<p>

Why the hell was he in the basement of the courthouse?

Long brown dreadlocks, a Bob Marley t-shirt and the faint smell of patchouli made her wonder if she'd gotten the address wrong, but this dude seemed to be waiting for her.

"Matilda right? I'm Royce."

Nicely done Shaun Mitchell. Asher had to give the up and coming Sheriff props for thinking ahead.

"Yeah." Asher held her handbag closer to her chest, glad she'd left Petey with Bella for a few hours.

"Sorry ' bout the digs." He said gesturing to the surrounds. Evidence boxes and paperwork were scattered all around the place. "CSI dudes over at the PD feel threatened when I'm all up in their grill." He shrugged. "My missus' old man is a judge down here." He kept rambling and Asher let him, waiting for him to realise she was still there. "…I'd like me some of that fancy equipment though." He smirked before looking back at Asher. "So, you wanna know about Bill Haydens murder."

"Suicide." Asher corrected. He rose an eyebrow under his dreads and Asher already liked this guy.

"Murder." He replied. "But you already knew that." He smiled, bright straight shiny teeth. "So you want me to prove it to you?"

"Yeah." He gestured for Asher to sit down and she sat in one of the desk chairs in front of the only clean desk while he rummaged around before coming to sit on the other side.

"Okey dokey." He pulled out the papers and put them in front of Asher.

"See this one- this is the suicide note." Asher read the paper. It had two lines typed on it.

_I could not keep going _

_I'm sorry._

"Typed, Times New Roman, size twelve. No real personality." Asher rose her eyebrow. "Now this, this is the report." He pointed to the familiar form that Asher had been pouring over for the last few months. "He shot himself, but not a single person in a crowded police station heard him pull the trigger." Asher stared at the report.

"A silencer." Asher whispered. A silencer, much like the ones that were kept in the lock box at the back of her closet with Happys money.

"Yeah, seems that way. Now this, this is a photo of the crime scene." For most normal people looking at a picture of your uncle slumped over on his desk, blood pooling out of a hole in his temple would be disturbing, but all Asher noticed was the phone beside his hand and the bottle of whiskey, open on the other side. Asher had called Bill on the department line, he'd put the phone down but never hung up. And there was the phone receiver, back in the cradle. "See something?" Royce asked and Asher lifted her head to make eye contact with him.

If he got too far into this, he'd end up dead too. Or on the run like Collie.

"No." Reaching into her handbag, she pulled out the documents she photocopied and flipped to Reg Thomson's ballistics report. "Do you have the ballistics report?"

"Yeah, but they're never much help." He rolled his eyes and Asher held out the papers to him.

"Can you match the bullet?" The 'expert' looked down at the pages Asher held before leafing through his own, pulling up a piece and comparing the two of them. "Reginald Thomson?"

"Do they match?" Asher asked and Royce nodded.

"Yeah, nine mill, same markings on the bullet." He handed Asher back the report. "I don't know much Matilda, I haven't lived in Tacoma long, but even I know who the Tacoma Killer is."

"I'm sorry?" Asher asked, wondering how he'd brought Happy into this.

"The Tacoma Killer, the guy that killed Reginald Thomson over ten years ago out at the cemetery. I've heard the story- he saved some little girl then went to jail. If these bullets match – then he's the one that killed Bill Hayden."

"You sound very certain." Asher said keeping eye contact with him.

"The guy is infamous. Part of the Sons of Anarchy, no-ones seen him in years though." He looked down at the ballistics report.

"Royce, it is possible for me to get a copy of these?" She gestured to the papers and Royce nodded.

"Sure." He collected the paper and went over to a photocopier Asher hadn't noticed before and started it up while Asher stood up and smoothed down her jeans.

"Do you ever report this stuff to the cops?" She asked, walking over to the photocopier.

"Yeah, keeps the in-laws happy." He shrugged and Asher reached into her handbag and pulled out an envelope and held it to her chest.

"How happy would it make them if there was no need for any further investigation into Bill Haydens suicide?"

"Are you bribing me?" He asked and Asher smirked.

"Just think of it as a bit of freelance." She held the envelope out to him. "One thousand dollars says Bill Hayden shot himself. It was loud in that police station so no-one heard the shot. He was suffering depression, his wife had left him, his brother was dead and his parents had passed away and he'd resorted to the drink. The Haydens are notorious alcoholics, you only have to do a background check on his brother Frank to know 'drunk and disorderly' was a Hayden gene."

Royce looked at her for a moment, as if contemplating whether she was serious or not, before hitting the cancel button on the photocopier.

"Guess you'll be wanting the originals then." He said and Asher nodded.

"Yeah…"

"I'll get you the tox screen as well." He took all the paper away from the copier and Asher went back to stand in front of the desk as she watched the guy pile everything into an envelope and seal it shut. He held it out to her, and Asher did the same with the money, taking the envelope of documents and put it in her handbag.

"Can I ask you a question Royce?"

"That's what I'm here for." He grinned and Asher smiled slightly.

"What makes you think this _Tacoma Killer_ would be the one to kill Bill Hayden if it hadn't been for the suicide?" She asked.

"Another legend." Royce took a seat and pulled out a drawer to throw the envelope of cash into the top drawer. "They say that Bill Haydens niece was there when the Tacoma Killer killed Thomson and was meant to testify at the trial but she went missing. Bill Hayden came to me a few weeks ago to get me to track her down."

"Did you find her?"

"Nah, I started searching, but he called and said to stop looking."

"Where was she?" Asher asked.

"Dunno, I always thought she was dead, I mean I imagine guys like him don't leave witnesses." This guy had no idea.

"When did Bill call you to stop looking?" Asher was making more mental notes as she went.

"Ah, it was a day or so before he allegedly killed himself."

_Shit._

"Thanks…Royce." She leant over and shook his hand, noticing his eyes on the ink on her wrist.

"You're welcome, Matilda. Good luck." Asher nodded, retracting her hand and biting her lip.

"Yeah, you too." She was tempted to add, don't get dead. But she figured if he had enough money to forget about it, he would.

Getting back to Bella and Lorca's, Asher stopped at the door as the Sons filed out, obviously holding their own wake for the fallen Sheriff.

"Sorry for ya loss, darlin'." Donut nodded to her as he went past, a few new members nodding to her as they past. A familiar woman walked out, her hand gripping Bowies tightly and Asher narrowed her eyes at the pair. Diana, the little bitch that had had a go at her about not being an Old Lady.

"Hello Asher." Diana said politely and Asher gave her a forced smile before Bowie and her kept going.

It seemed like there were a hundred people in there, because next came Courtney Stevenson nee Bragen. Pregnant again. Glowing and beautiful.

"Oh, hello Asher." Courtney said sheepishly as she stopped in front of her. "I'm sorry about your uncle." She said quietly and Asher shrugged.

"It's okay."

"I saw your son inside, he's beautiful." Courtney said quietly and Asher gave her a genuine smile.

"Thank you. Congratulations on the next one." She said jerking her hand towards Courtneys growing bump.

"Yeah, thanks…" They fell into an awkward silence for a few seconds before Riley came out and stopped, seeing the two of them standing there.

"Asher…" He looked at her like he wasn't sure what he should do, before reaching out to touch her but Asher flinched away. The last time he'd touched her she'd ended up with a split lip. He quickly recoiled his hand and stuck it in the pocket of his jeans. "Sorry 'bout Bill."

"Yeah, me too." Asher nodded

"Well…see ya." Riley put his hand on the small of Courtney's back and Asher watched the happy couple head out towards the gate.

"Heard you named your kid after Spanner." Blues voice made her turn back around, Liz standing beside him, his large arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Happy and I thought it was right." Asher said quietly and saw Blue nod.

"It was an honourable thing to do."

"He's a beautiful baby Asher, I'm proud of you." Liz reached out and squeezed Ashers arm and Asher smiled slightly.

"Thank you." Blue nodded and like Riley, guided his wife away from the house.

All the talk about Petey had Asher missing him more and she stepped into the house, finding Bella walking around with him in her arms.

"Oh look, here's your mama." Asher reached out as Bella held him out to her and she pulled him into her chest, pressing a kiss onto his head and inhaling the smell of him.

"I missed you Peter James." She said quietly and propped him up on her hip.

"He is the most well behaved kid. I swear I nearly had Lorca convinced we could kidnap him." Asher smirked at the Queens words.

"Where is Lorca?"

"Out the back- cleaning up that mess I hope." She shouted the last bit and Asher could hear the grumbles of the SAMTAC president. "Did you get everything done?" Bella asked, raising an impeccable eyebrow. Bella and Gemma were two of those women that just didn't age. To Asher, it didn't look like the years had done anything to Bellas beauty.

"Yeah, I kind of need to talk to Lorc about it."

"Just head on out sweetheart. You want me to take the baby?" Asher shook her head. She couldn't let Petey down now.

Heading out onto the porch she saw Lorca clearing away beer bottles. It was such a mundane task to see one of Washingtons most dangerous men doing. But she'd seen Happy do similar things in the privacy of their own home.

"How ya goin', baby girl?" He asked, spotting her come out the door.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." She said quietly and watched Lorca put the beer bottles down.

"Have a seat." Asher sat down on one of the plastic chairs and saw the president do the same. "What's up?"

"Did Bill come and ask you where I was?" She asked. The moment that Royce with the dreadlocks had said that Bill had called off the search for her she had a sneaking suspicion he'd gone to the President.

"Yeah, about a week ago."

"And you told him?" He nodded.

"He's your blood Asher. I know you don't put much faith in that, but he was worried about ya." He leant over the table, looking at her seriously. "I told him he'd find you at Charming Clubhouse."

Looking down at Petey on her lap, Asher considered this.

"What's going on Asher? First the call about the gun, now this?" He asked and Asher smoothed her fingers over one of Peteys hands.

"I have to tell Happy first." She said quietly. "I owe him that much."

* * *

><p><strong>Stockton CA <strong>

**10****th**** June 2009 **

"Not long now brother." Jax Teller sat across from his best friend in visitation at Stockton and ran a hand over his short hair, the fresh ink on his forearm tugging with the movement. It was amazing the shit Happy could do. The ink looked good.

"How ya doing?" Jax asked Opie and watching him nod, leaning forward on the table between them. "How're the wedding plans coming along?"

"Chicks man. She is driving me up the wall." Opie chuckled and Jax grinned.

"You're already whipped."

"Don't start man." Opie ran a hand through his long hand and jerked his head towards where Clay was talking to Gemma. "How's things going in here?"

"Can't complain."

"New ink?" Opie nodded towards the tattoo on Jax's arm.

"Yeah, Hap did a good job."

"Speakin' of, got a message for him from his girl." Jax rose his eyebrows. What had that crazy bitch done now? "She said ah…Bill Haydens dead."

Bill Hayden was Ashers Sheriff uncle. The guy had been a real asshole for all of Ashers life as far as Jax was concerned. Maybe it was good he was dead.

"How?"

"Suicide according to the cops." _Shit._ "She says it was murder though."

"I'll tell him." Jax ran a hand over his short hair again, smirking slightly. "How is that crazy bitch?"

"Don't laugh man, her and Tara are attached at the hip." Opie told him and Jax chuckled slightly.

"Shit."

"Yeah, well, the prospects have been offering free babysittin' hoping she might realise they'd be a better baby daddy than Hap." Jax actually laughed. That sounded like Asher. "I tried tellin' them man."

Stupid prospects were in for a rude awakening when Happy got out and went back to his girl.

"I won't lie, I've seen Chibs trying to get in there, even my old man…"

"Shit man, what is it with that girl?" Jax said, shaking his head, even though he knew exactly what it was about Asher. Over ten years ago, he'd been much like those prospects.

As if knowing where his head was Opie smiled.

"Like you don't know – I remember you coming back from Christmas one year and goin' on and on about fucking Asher Hayden." Jax smiled at the memory. Yeah, it had been before Clay and Gemma had officially gotten married, he'd been eighteen, Asher would have just been sixteen. Before she hooked up with Riley Stevenson and Jax had a small amount of pride in the fact that he'd been the girls first, even if her Old Man was one scary son of a bitch. "Does Hap know you popped that cherry?"

Jax nodded slowly. Not much got past Happy, especially when it came to Asher, even though he'd never confronted Jax about it. Jax wasn't stupid though. He'd seen Asher in the clubhouse, she only had eyes for one person, and it certainly wasn't him. She'd never really had eyes for him when they'd slept together all that time ago. That was the thing about Asher, she didn't really get attached, well, unless your name was Happy Lowman.

"How're things going with the Russians?" Jax asked, changing the subject. He had an old lady now, one that he loved, the last thing he needed to do was rehash old shit with Asher.

When the buzzer rang and he was marched back to the rec area, he went straight for the tattooed killer laughing at something Tigga had said.

"A word bro?" Jax asked looking up at Happy who nodded, stepping away from the SAA.

"Sup?"

"Ope brought word that Bill Haydens dead." Happy furrowed his brow. "Suicide apparently, your girl says otherwise." He saw Happy tense, all his muscles under his wifebeater bunching up and Jax could see him getting angrier and angrier.

"Anything else?"

"Nah, you 'right?" he asked, obviously Happy was worried about his girl.

"Yeah, fine." Then he stalked off. Looked like the boxing bag was going to take a pounding.

"What was that about?" Bobby stepped up beside Jax who was still watching the killer stalk away.

"He needs out, just like the rest of us."

* * *

><p><strong>Oakland CA <strong>

**30****th**** July 2009 **

Asher had managed to convince Piney to give her Marcus Alvarez's address. She knew the club had it, but she hadn't been sure how she'd go about getting it. So she'd resorted to the truth. If Piney had adored her mother as much as he claimed, he'd want Asher to know the truth as well, right? Yeah, well it worked. Now she was in Oakland, Nora had Petey and Asher had her gun and the Mayans Presidents hunting knife in her handbag.

Pulling into the driveway of the little house in Oakland, she took a deep breath, and before she could bail out, she got out of the car and strode up the path, through the front gate and onto the patio, her heels clacking on the wooden slats as she reached up and knocked on the screen door.

"Mama!" There was yelling in spanish, and then there was a little boy, about three, pressed up against the screen door, looking up at Asher through the gauze, his dark hair in wild curls around his head.

There was more yelling in Spanish before a young woman, maybe a few years older than Asher was at the door looking through the screen door at Asher.

"Can I help you?" She asked through a heavily accented voice.

"I'm looking for Mister Alvarez." Asher said quietly.

"Are you a cop or something?" The girl asked and Asher rose her eyebrow.

"Do I look like a cop?" She could see her give her an up and down appraisal. "My names Asher Hayden, Mister Alvarez knows who I am." The dark haired girl gave a loud huff and said something to the boy in Spanish before they went back into the house. Asher could make out the words "white girl" and she bit her lip anxiously waiting until she saw the Mayan President come to the door.

He didn't hesitate, he pushed the door open and stepped out onto the patio, doing the same up and down appraisal as the woman had. She was glad she'd chosen torn jeans and black tank top, even if she was wearing her favourite heeled boots, because she felt as though she was being judged.

"You had your kid." He said, jerking his head towards her stomach and Asher realised the last time she'd spoken to him was the day before she'd had Petey.

"Yeah, the day after I met you."

"Early?" Asher nodded. She didn't particularly want to tell him that it was probably because of him. She reached into her handbag and pulled out his knife, holding it out to him.

"I accidently took this from you. I haven't had a chance to give it back, sorry." The president reached out and took it, his lip jerking, making his whole moustache move.

"Take a seat." Alvarez gestured to the metal table and chairs on the patio and Asher walked over and took a seat, watching the Mexican do the same. "You didn't come here just to give me back my knife." Asher smiled slightly, liking the fact that the man got straight to the point. "You want to know about Molly?"

"No-one ever talks about her. Sometimes my grandmother gets this look on her face and tells a story about how Molly had done something funny but…" She trailed off.

"No one told you what she was like as a person?" He finished and Asher nodded. Piney had tried a few times, but had later told her that his wife at the time, Mary hadn't liked Molly and it made it hard for her and Piney to be friends.

"Yeah." Alvarez leant back in his chair and nodded as if trying to remember a particular moment in time. "I never met Molly until just before she found out she was pregnant with you. She was in Oakland and I saw her looking in the windows of some empty shops. I dunno what made me walk up to her, I was young, cocky." He smirked and nodded again. "I thought she was pretty little thing, but when she turned to look at me, those blue eyes, just like yours I felt my heart stop." He seemed to laugh at something. "I chased her down that street, trying to get her to have a drink with me, but she was all coy, wouldn't give me the time of day. Eventually though, I got her to have a drink with me."

The look on the Mayan presidents face was similar to Pineys when he spoke of her mother. How was it possible that she made all these men fall for her?

"Which Son are you with?" He asked after a minute of silence and Asher jerked her head up.

"I don't…" She stuttered. How was who she was with relevant to this talk?

"The son often defines the woman." Asher could understand that.

"Happy the-"

"Hitman." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat as Alvarez finished her sentence.

"Yeah."

"You know a lot about what your Old Man does?" He asked.

Asher thought about lying. There was no harm in him thinking Asher was an in the dark Old Lady. But she realised she'd already given away too much by admitting she knew Happys importance in the club.

"How did you end up with him?"

"Extenuating circumstances." She didn't want to get into her and Happys history with anyone let alone this man. She was here to find out about her mother. "That have nothing to do with my mother."

"You're right. From what I can see, you are more Hayden then Morrow. Your choice in men says that." Asher bit her lip and looked down at her hands were the bright black sparkling ring on her right hand.

"It seems I'm doing a bit more talking here than you." Asher said quietly, looking up and rose her eyebrow. He looked at her, like he was still trying to work her out, and Asher realised he was comparing her to her mother again.

"Frank was a killer, he killed my uncle, but like I said, it was arranged." He shrugged. "Your mother had never realised what he was capable of until he did that and it scared her. That's why I found her in that street. She'd taken off to Oakland to get away from him." Asher could see where the similarities between her situation and her mothers situation ended. Asher had known what Happy was capable of from the start. She'd seen him execute Reg Thomson. Her mother, despite her family history apparently never believed the hype about Frank. She knew he was a killer, the way Happy had never wanted to talk about his visit to the jail all those years ago, meant that even he was wary of her father. "Didn't last long though, Frank came back for her and she went."

"But she left him again?"

"Three weeks later, there she was, on the same stretch of empty shops. I asked her what she was doin' out there and she told me her mother used to take her to an old antique shop on that street and there had been a rocking horse that she'd always wanted. That was the thing about your ma, she was incredibly sentimental." Asher knew that trait. She also was sentimental. Rings, tattoos, letters and lockets, Asher had a need to keep things that were important in her life. "She told me she wanted it for her baby- I guess it was you." He gestured to Asher briefly. "I found her that rocking horse, just after she'd moved to Oakland and left Frank for good. Before you, Molly was a little bit wild, she had this tattoo on her thigh…" Alvarez smiled fondly at the memory. "but after, she wanted nothing but the best for her baby, that's why she left Charming before Frank patched over. At first she didn't want to get involved with me, I mean, I was a Mexican biker, but I used to go to the diner where she was working and wait with her until closing, then would take her back to her flat. I think she'd almost forgotten how she deserved to be treated."

The Mexican in front of her was a romantic, he'd gone out of his way to look after Molly, not just dragged her into the turmoil of club life again.

_Fancy that._

"It took awhile but she came around, and it was so easy to be with her. When Molly loved someone, she gave it her all, even after thirty years I can still remember the way she would smile when I came home, or when she talked through her belly to her baby. We were together for near six months. Then…" He took a deep breath looking almost sad, "one day she was gone. I came home and all her stuff was gone." I went to Charming but her and Frank were gone. That old Piney told me they'd gone to Tacoma. Next thing I knew, she was dead." he swallowed the lump in his throat "I knew nothin' good could come from her going back to him. Thought the baby had been killed as well."

"No one ever said what killed Molly?" She asked, remembering the story about Molly being killed by Mayans, a story she'd believed for twenty-eight years.

"No." He levelled with Asher though, resting his arm on the table and maintaining eye contact. "Doesn't mean I don't know who did it."

"Who?" Asher choked, curious as to who he thought it was.

"Frank may not have been a Son yet, but to Clay, he was part of the family. There was no way in hell, Clay was going to let his little sister take Franks kid and start a life with me. I knew Molly, really knew her. She wouldn't stay with Frank. She went back 'cause she was scared." He said sadly and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat.

Was Clay really capable of killing his own sister?

Thinking about the secrets Asher had kept for the Morrows all these years she knew the truth. Clay was very capable of killing his own sister.

"Clay killed Molly?" She choked.

"Clay doesn't like to get his hands dirty, I doubt it. But he knows who did." Asher stood up, she had to leave. This huge bomb was a bit too much for her at the moment. "I'm sorry Asher."

"Me too." Asher shrugged, turning her back on him and heading towards the edge of the patio but stopped and turned to look at the President that hadn't tried to stop her. "If Molly came to you after she found out she was pregnant, did she ever say who my father was?" She choked, so close to tears she could hardly control them.

"Loyalty was very important to Molly, that's why she went back- you were definitely Franks daughter." Asher nodded, glad that someone could look her in the eye and confirm that, she gave him a small smile before turning on her heel and heading back to her car, knowing it wasn't the last time she was ever going to see Mister Alvarez.

* * *

><p>When she pulled into Teller-Morrow a few hours later, Petey in the back seat in his capsule, she jogged up the lot to the reception where she could see Gemma sorting out her paperwork. Asher had been keeping the truth from everyone for the last fourteen months, so she composed herself and stuck her head around the door.<p>

"Hi."

"Hey." Gemma looked up from the desk and took off her glasses. "You alright hun?"

"Yeah." Asher gave her a small smile. "I was just looking for Piney."

"I think he's playing granddaddy over at Opes." Gemma replied, shuffling through the papers and pulling out an envelope. "Here, this has been sitting here for weeks." Asher stepped into the office and looked down at the envelope with her name and the address for the clubhouse written on the front in a familiar handwriting.

"Thanks."

"Something going on darling? You look upset." Gemma asked, not letting go of the envelope even though Asher was trying to pry it from her fingers.

"Just spent a few hours with Haps mum."

"How's that going?" Asher shrugged. Nora was a stubborn woman, but the cancer was taking its toll on her.

"She's been better." Finally Gemma let go of the envelope and Asher held it to her chest. "I better go, Peteys in the car."

"Okay sweetheart, I'll see you later."

"Sure Gemma." Asher nodded then left the little office, heading straight down to the Camaro. After checking on Petey, she got in the drivers seat and pulled out, heading home.

Once Petey was fed and in his cot, Asher sat in the old rocking chair and ripped open the envelope. She vaguely remembered Bill Hayden saying he was going to post her something, and it was his handwriting on the front of the envelope.

Pulling out the leaves of paper, Asher stared at them , trying to work out what this meant.

In front of her was a paternity test. Bill Hayden had done a paternity test on her. It said that she and Bill were a ninety-percent match. She supposed that left enough error for Frank to be her father. She was definitely related to Bill. For some reason it filled her with dread to know that Frank was her father. Part of her was hoping that she hadn't deserved all the shit she went through as a kid. That all her traits were from a case of nurture over nature. But the drinking, the pride, the need to be alone, the stubbornness, the hot temper, were all Hayden traits, some of which she hadn't witnessed from her father.

"Shit."

Happy would be out in a week. She'd either have to tell him all this, or burn all the evidence. Alvarez had been right though, Clay knew who killed her mother. And in one week he would be walking free too.

"Double shit."

There was the familiar sound in the back seat and Asher looked over her shoulder at Petey who was watching her, his mouth open and she sighed. Yeah, she had to think about this. If things went wrong it wasn't just her who got hurt. It was Happy, Sarah and…she swallowed thickly at the thought of her son growing up like she had – motherless.

What would Happy do?

Would he be a father?

"Triple shit."

_Stop swearing in front of your child, Asher! _

One week. She had to make up her mind in a week.

Kill or be killed.


	71. Chapter 71

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Big thank you to **Stacey, James 90, go4itgirl, murphstheman and NoleGirl** who left signed guest reviews and also the few who were listed as Guests as well as all the other reviewers who I replied to! If I missed you flick me a message!

Happy to say that in over 600 reviews I've only ever had two negative reviews. Keep in mind that I do appreciate negative feedback if you feel something could be done better, but PLEASE (I stress the PLEASE) either review or PM me with a SIGNED message that does not consist of shouty, sweary capitals. I accept anonymous reviews and I really don't want to block other readers just because one inconsiderate person decided to be rude. The review in question will be deleted and the issue RE Asher/Jax will be resolved but I stress DO NOT SWEAR AT ME - because I will swear back.

Again thank you for the wonderful reviews and support and of course ENJOY! Ten reviews and I'll update in the next twelve hours =D Incentive? I think so. x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-One – Orange Sky <strong>

_Well I had a dream  
>I stood beneath an orange sky<br>Yes I had a dream  
>I stood beneath an orange sky<br>With my brother standing by  
>With my brother standing by<br>I said Brother, you know you know  
>It's a long road we've been walking on<br>Brother you know it is you know it is  
>Such a long road we've been walking on<br>__**-Alexi Murdoch**_

**Charming CA **

**7****th**** August 2009**

"Come on Petey, just one more mouthful." Asher pleaded with the little dark haired child who's big blue orbs were filling with tears at the tone of his mothers voice. He pouted, his face twisting up and Asher ran a hand through her hair tiredly tugging at the sleeve of Happys huge hoodie. "Okay fine." She sighed, putting the spoon of mushy peas down in the bowl and leant back on the kitchen table, watching the child in front of her sticking his fingers in the green mush in the plastic bowl. "Don't eat the food, make me look like a terrible mother." Picking up the bowl she dumped it in the sink and looked back at the child who was now grinning at her. "You are a trouble maker just like your father." She laughed, pointing her finger at the child as there was a knock at the door

Picking up Petey Asher propped him on her hip, letting him grab onto the necklace around her neck and playing with the charm on the end. . "Oh who could that be?" Asher ignored the tugging as she padded across the wooden floor and pulled back the curtain to look out the window. "Look Petey it's your uncles." Pulling open the door she grinned at the sight of Chibs and Phil on her doorstep. "Hi."

"'Ello Love." Chibs grinned back, stubbing out a cigarette on the concrete with his boot. "How's the wee one today?" He asked, leaning forward and tugging Peteys chubby hand. "You behaving yourself kiddo." Chibs laughed heartily before turning his attention back to Asher.

"How you doin' kid?"

"Fine. What brings you around so late?" She said still smiling and adjusting the child on her hip.

"Came to get the bike and other personal effects." Phil said as Chibs continued to play with the child. "You said you had a long shift." Asher nodded, she had a twelve hour shift overnight and she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Right, well the bikes in the shed, let me get the keys." Turning around she heard the distinct sound of boots following her as she walked into the kitchen and searched through the cutlery draw coming up with a ring full of keys. "Alright." She said jerking her head towards the side door that lead into the garage letting Petey play with the ring of keys before tugging them from his little fingers and sticking the silver one in the lock.

Pushing the door open she flicked on the light and stood back to let the two bikers in.

"Wow, it's in better nick then Tigs." Chibs laughed as he walked in and saw the clean and polished bike.

"I had some spare time, I didn't want him to hate me when he got back." She laughed slightly and Chibs turned back to her before nodding to Phil.

"Take it outside for us will ya' Phil? I'll get the cut." Asher pointed to the button that opened the garage door and watched Phil press it and the door go up before Chibs placed a hand on her free arm and nodded towards the house. "Get us that cut love?" Nodding, Asher walked back into the house and sat Petey in his high chair before going to get Happys cut that was spread out on the bed. She'd found the cut folded up on the bike when she'd finally taken the sheet off it the other day. She bit her lip as she ran her hands over the patches on his cut, her fingers flicking the edges of the patches with her fingers. Quickly leaning over she grabbed the gold locket off her bedside table and slipped it into the pocket on the inside of the cut.

"You did good, love." Jerking her head up Asher saw Chibs leaning against the doorframe.

"Thanks." Asher replied half-heartedly.

"Hey, smile. You raised his kid, you were there for the club and you proved you could stick around. Hap'll be proud to have you as his old lady." Chibs replied, his Scottish accent so thick Asher was having trouble understanding him.

"Thanks Chibs." Asher put a more convincing smile on her face and stood up, holding the cut to her chest before handing it over to Chibs. "Just bring him home okay?"

"Aye, my pleasure. You comin' 'round for the welcome back?" He asked as they walked back out to the kitchen where Phil was playing with Petey in his high chair.

"Yeah I'll be there." Chibs just grinned at her before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead and ruffling Peteys thin hair.

"Keep your phone on kid."

"See ya' Asher." Phil waved and Asher waved back as Phil followed his superior out the front door, it slamming behind them. Turning her attention back to Petey who was smacking his hands on the tray in front of him, mushed peas all over his face Asher cringed. She was such a bad mother.

"Come on you, we'll have a bath before Jill gets here." The child smacked his hands on the plastic again. She couldn't help the grin that split across her face. "Yeah, all those brains baby, came from your mama." She informed him as she lifted him from his highchair again and headed to the bathroom, starting up the bath as she undressed the child.

Putting Petey back in the cot she looked down at him as he stared back at her, his bright blu eyes on her every move. . She couldn't help but notice how like his father he was, it soothed her nerves about Happys return. No matter what, she would always have her baby. She couldn't imagine life without him now. She could easily imagine life without Happy, she'd experienced it for the last fifteen months, so him walking out when it got tough was easy to envision. The scenario had played over and over in her head like it had years ago when he'd asked her to move back to Tacoma. He would cheat or get sick of her and she would leave, or force him to leave, then she'd be alone.

She jolted when her phone rang again and she saw Gemmas name flash across the screen.

"Hello?"

"You always that chirpy?" Gemmas voice called down the line and Asher sighed, letting the chair rock slightly.

"Only for you Gem." She replied, running a hand through her hair and propping her foot up underneath her as she rocked.

"How you feeling baby girl? You excited?"

"Sure." Asher replied, picking at her flaking toenail polish and listening to her aunt play with baby Thomas on the other end.

"Again with the enthusiasm. Look baby, can you get down to the store and pick up some things for tomorrow?" Gemma asked and Asher glanced over to see Petey lying down tugging at the ears of his teddy.

"Yeah let me get a pen."

* * *

><p><strong>Charming CA <strong>

**8****th**** August 2009 **

Asher clicked the top of her pen up and down as she watched the long hand on the clock on the reception desk tick slowly. Three hours and she'd be off work and Happy would be back. It made her a little nervous to know it wouldn't be long. The thoughts had only started to plague her in the last few weeks. While she was sitting across from him in Stockton, it was easy to imagine him being happy in their relationship with their baby when it was just them. When he left the gates of Stockton today though, it would be the club that met him, it would be the club that would bring him home, and he would go to the clubhouse before he'd go back to the house that they shared. It was easy to imagine Happy as a man and not a Son.

"You okay?" She looked up to see Tara leaning over the desk. She was a long way from paediatrics.

"Fine. You?" Asher pasted a smile on her face.

"Good, looking forward to Jax getting back." Asher could see how happy the doctor was and was happy for her.

"Yeah I know the feeling." Tara gave Asher a knowing smile and nodded slightly before picking up the folders in front of her.

"Well I only got here an hour ago so I better get back to it." Tara held the files to her chest and Asher was a bit jealous that the woman had gotten a full nights sleep, but in her defence, Tara had two boys to look after. "What time did you start last night?"

"Eleven." Asher sighed. "Only three hours to go."

"I'll let you get back to it- I'll see you at the clubhouse?" Asher nodded and the good doctor was gone.

Just as Asher had resumed staring at the clock, her phone went off and she pulled it from her scrub pocket and saw Sarahs number flash across the screen.

"Hey." Asher said when she flicked it open.

"Hey Ash. How're you going?" Asher cocked her eyebrow. Usually Sarah had something smart ass to say.

"Fine, what're you calling for?"

"Just wanted to see how you're going." Juice was getting out of jail today, Asher was pretty sure that's what had prompted this little phone call. Asher didn't know why Sarah didn't just come back from Sacramento for the weekend if she was that desperate to see the boy.

"Sare, just come home."

"I've got classes." Sarah sighed and Asher smirked. Like that mattered to Sarah.

"I'm sure a few days won't matter. But hey, if you don't want to see Juice, that's your prerogative." She heard a sigh from the other end of the line and smirked.

"We're just friends, Asher."

"Well friends can come and welcome friends back, just saying."

* * *

><p>Asher knew she was late, when she pulled into the crowded lot and saw the bikes already parked out the front of the clubhouse. But by the looks of the hugs and greetings, it was only just. She hadn't had time to change, so she was still in her pink scrubs and sneakers, and she probably looked like shit compared to the overly done up croweaters. She quickly got out and opened the back door to get Petey, propping him up on her hip and shutting the creaky door of the Camaro, before striding up to the gathering.<p>

It didn't take long for her to spot a scantily clad girl in jeans hugging Happy, who after fifteen months had not changed a single bit. Looking around the crowd, she could see Jax had shaved his head, Tig had ditched the moustache and Juice had hair. Not to mention Bobby was sporting some very unattractive beard plaits.

"Holy shit. Who's this little guy?" Tig approached, after giving Chuck a hug and Asher grinned. "Is this little Killer junior?" Ashers smile disappeared quickly as she glared at the Sargent at Arms. "Jesus, Asher, calm down. Cute kid."

"Thanks Tig, I'm gunna." She pointed to where Happy was and Tig stepped back out of her way. His brown eyes fell on her straight away and she couldn't help her grin getting bigger. Years and years spent hiding her smiles from him and now she couldn't hold back. She'd missed him. He was in front of her in a few short steps and Asher looked down at Petey. "Look, Petey it's Daddy." She said quietly and looked up at Happy, seeing his lips split into a huge grin, a feeling of relief sweeping through her entire body.

"Hey kid." The sound of his gravelly voice was like coming home, nothing had changed at all. When she saw ringed fingers extend towards the child in her arms she gave him up without a fight. "Your Ma's been feedin' ya, hey little man." He said as he held the child up to eye level and Asher watched on as ever trusting, Petey reached for his father. With a child at his side Asher felt tears spring to her eyes. He was no longer the biker that she fell hard for, or the man that had rescued her countless times, or the killer she knew he was. He was the father of her child, the man who had begged her to move to Tacoma with him, the man who had hugged her to him tight the morning he'd been hauled off to jail with the promise that he would be back.

And he was.

Happy was then advancing on Asher and she just stood still as he cupped the back of her head and pulled her to him, his lips hitting hers roughly as he held their son tightly to his side. Like anything that Happy did, Asher reacted, gripping his cut in her fingers and kissed him back with just as much force. This was the first public display of affection they'd ever really shared, but Asher made the most of it, moving her arms up to wrap around his neck and anchor herself to him.

When they finally pulled back from each other, Asher felt her legs tremble slightly, but Happys hand on the small of her back supported her.

"How you doin' baby girl?"

"Better now my Killers back." She purred and he gave her another grin. One of those reserved for his brothers, and her, and now his son.

"Ain't goin' anywhere bitch."

"I've missed you." She whispered and he nodded in recognition before straightening up and taking his hand from her back and Asher reached for Petey who Happy handed back without a fight.

"I gotta get to Church." Asher nodded and expected him to leave, but instead he bent down and pressed a kiss to her head. "You did good, baby girl. I'll see ya tonight." Her lip twitched and she nodded at him to go, watching as he brushed a large hand over his sons head as he went.

"Nice kid." Turning her head Asher saw Jax standing beside her.

"Could say the same to you."

"Heard about your Uncle." Jax stuffed his hands in his jeans and dropped his chin. "Guy was a prick, but he didn't deserve to go out that way."

"Anyone ever tell you not to speak ill of the dead." Asher asked, smiling slightly so he knew she was joking.

"Aight." He gave her a smile and was gone and Asher was left alone as everyone else dispersed. Lyla and Opie were talking quietly to each other, their noses almost touching as they laughed and Asher smiled for the soon to be newly weds before turning around and walking back to her car.

* * *

><p>Happy watched his Old Lady turn and start walking back to the car from his spot at the doorway of the clubhouse. When he hadn't seen her when they'd first gotten back, he'd felt his heart in his throat at the thought of his girl having left him. She'd been there for fourteen months, visiting him every one of those months, and he felt like shit for thinking so lowly of her. But the fear only dissipated once he saw her, their kid on her hip as she stepped past Tig. Even in those ugly pink scrubs she looked beautiful. And his breath caught as not for the first time he laid eyes on his son. He wondered briefly as he spoke to the baby he took in his arms if he'd ever be able to not feel like his chest was constricting everytime he saw the kid.<p>

But then he'd looked up into Asher eyes and the tightness got harder and he couldn't help but step toward her and knot his fingers in her hair and yank her towards him. The first real contact they'd had since he'd left and he couldn't help pressing his lips to hers, feeling her respond in kind. The gentle tug of her on his cut had brought his mind back from the memory of her smell, the feel of those lips, the way her body pressed up against his. It took a lot of strength to step away and speak.

Watching her retreating back until she was safely in the Camaro he turned and walked into the clubhouse, seeing Juice walk along slowly in front of him. The little punks ribs must have been smarting because he was moving awful slow. He was tempted to give the idiot a push but figured he'd done enough damage. Juice hadn't taken his warning very seriously the first time, but he was almost certain that the almost broken ribs the kid had now, he wouldn't be so keen to lay hands on Sarah. It was a fucking shit move for Juice to pull, getting in Sarahs pants then going away and Happy had waited until a few days before they were out, before he enforced the message. He wanted the kid to still be hurting when he next saw Sarah so he'd think about Happys warning. Happy knew now that Juice would think twice about whipping his dick out around his niece now, it would take a while for the bruises on his ribs to fade.

* * *

><p>Asher had just gotten out of the shower when there was a loud knock at the door. She picked Petey up off the floor and headed to the door, lifting the curtain to see who was on the other side of the door. She couldn't help the huge smile on her face as she unlocked the door and pulled it open to see her daughter on the other side, the green Prius parked beside Ashers Camaro.<p>

"Surprise!" Sarah reached over and Asher pulled her into a hug, holding Petey who was grabbing for his sister. When they pulled apart Sarah reached for Petey. "Look at my little brother – you've grown so much." Asher let her son go and watched Sarah press a kiss to his cheek.

"You wanted to see Juice?" Asher asked.

"I wanted to see my mama and her old man. And my little brother – is that too much to ask?" Sarah cocked an eyebrow as Asher before turning around and heading into the house.

"Sare…" Asher sighed. She was such a smart ass little bitch sometimes. Before she'd had a chance to shut the door and follow Asher heard another car pull up in the drive and leant out the doorway to see Tara's Suburu pull in behind the Prius. The good doctor, got out and marched up the drive towards the porch. "Hey." Asher cocked her head as she watched Tara approach. She looked like she was on a mission.

"Can I have a word?" Wow. The snippiness in Tara's voice was not lost on Asher so she beckoned the old lady in as Sarah came back into sight. "Oh, hey Sarah." Tara greeted when she saw Sarah.

Asher saw the narrow of Sarahs eyes as she took in the sight of the brunette and looked at Asher before walking over and handing Petey back to Asher.

"I'm going out for a bit."

"Sorry I parked your car in." Tara said apologetically and Sarah shrugged.

"I can walk. See ya Tara." Then Sarah was gone.

"You want a coffee?" Asher asked and stepped past Tara and headed towards the kitchen, putting Petey into the bouncer in the impeccably clean kitchen.

"Not really." Tara leant against the kitchen table and Asher straightened up to take a seat at the table, gesturing to Tara to do the same. She saw the tension in Taras jaw and couldn't help but furrow her brow. Had Tara found something out about those damn letters she was meant to destroy? "I was just helping Lyla out with some wedding things..."

"Yeah, I was on my way when Sarah…" Tara held up a hand to cut Asher off and for some reason that really annoyed Asher.

"Lyla was telling me how glad she was that beside Donna, Opie didn't have any women that had slept with him to worry about. She asked me how I did it." Asher rose her eyebrow, completely lost as to where the girl was going with this. "She asked me how I was such good friends with someone that had slept with Jax. And when I asked her what she meant, she said that Opie had told her that Jax had slept with _you." _

What. The. Fuck.

"Tara I don't…"

"You slept with Jax didn't you?" Yeah, she had. It had been a long time ago though.

"It was a long time ago, Tara. It never meant anything." Asher sighed. She'd known Jax so long that the fact that they'd slept together once more than ten years ago wasn't even something she thought about.

Shit, what if Happy found out?

"How old were you?" Tara asked, glaring at Asher, obviously determined to get answers.

"I was sixteen Tara. Like I said, it didn't even mean anything."

"I've seen your records Asher, you're two years younger than me and Jax. That means that he was eighteen! He was with me when he was eighteen!" Asher frowned. Tara had been the girlfriend that Jax had been so broken up about?

"Shit Tara." She sighed, running a hand through her hair. Tara stood up and glared down at Asher.

"You traitorous bitch." She spat and Asher abruptly stood up, and levelled with Tara.

"Hey, I would never sleep with an attached guy. I was fucked up Tara, but so was he. He said he'd broken up with his girlfriend. And yeah, I took advantage of that, but you were on a break and we were in Sacramento. It happened once and it never happened again. Jax went back to you and it was never mentioned again. And as long as you can deal with that, it will never be mentioned again." Tara didn't ease up on her glare, but Asher knew she was thinking about her options. "I don't want Jax, Tara, I never have. He loves you, don't think that one little thing that happened when we were kids would ever change that. I'm sure he's done a lot worse." Asher shrugged. Because if sleeping with Asher was the worst thing Jax had ever done, then he needed to rethink his bad ass attitude.

"It never meant anything?" Tara asked quietly and Asher sighed.

"I hadn't given it a second thought until you brought it up." The brunette was watching Ashers every move obviously trying to work out if she was lying.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Asher watched the doctor nod.

"Yeah, sorry it's just that with Jax…" Asher sighed heavily, Tara and Jax were on their way to happiness. She was hardly going to ruin that.

"You did the right thing Tara, it was my fault, not Jax's. I don't mind." As long as no-one ever mentioned it to Happy. Tara held Ashers eyes for a bit longer before relenting and nodding.

"Thanks for clearing it up."

"I'd say anytime but…" Tara gave her a small smile and Asher shrugged. "See you at the wedding?"

"Sure." Asher took the time to walk Tara to the door and showed her out before leaning against it and sighing heavily.

Crisis averted.

* * *

><p>It was getting late by the time Sarah had finally walked around Charming a bit and ended up at Teller Morrow. Asher was right, no matter how she tried to reason it, Sarah was back for Juice. She still couldn't get over the fact that he'd lied to her and made her believe that he was going away for ten years. It was only through Asher that she'd found out that they only got fourteen months.<p>

Walking up the quiet lot she saw that most of the bikes were there. She couldn't see the familiar purple tank of Happys bike and guessed he was home by now, but she did see Juices bike. No-one stopped her as she made her way into the clubhouse and through the bar. She hoped that Juice had the same room as he had back in the day. Walking down the hall she knocked loudly.

"Yeah…" The rest was muffled, but Sarah took that as a 'come in' and turned the door knob, pushing open the door and stopping dead in the doorway. Obviously Juice had added 'wait a minute' to the muffled 'yeah'. And she suddenly had a lot of respect for Asher.

Because there in front of her as she gaped was Juice staring at her wide eyed as a blonde lifted her head from his groin. She felt sick.

"Shit." Juice shoved the fake blonde away, but Sarah was already turning on her heel, heading out of the room and breaking into a jog as she went through the bar, not even seeing someone was in there before she ran into him and felt large arms wrap around her, preventing her escape. The panic took over at the large mans arms wrapped around her and she thrashed and tried to escape, and where most men let her go, the man held her tighter as she heard Juice enter the bar and she buried her head in the cut, ashamed for her tears.

"The fuck did you do?" It was Koz, the large arms wrapped around her tightly, was Kozik. His voice calmed her and she gripped onto his cut.

"I…I didn't even know…shit." One arm left Sarahs body and she felt Koz stiffen.

"Don't take another step, kid. I swear to god I will break your face if you touch her." Koz growled and Sarah took a deep breath and composed herself, straightening up.

"Sarah…" It was Juices voice this time but Sarah took a deep breath and looked up at Koz, seeing the underside of his jaw.

"It's fine Koz, he didn't do anything wrong." Slowly Koz let her go and Sarah refused to look at Juice.

"Aight, well let me get you home, doll." She nodded and let Koz lead her out of the clubhouse, despite Juice. "You gunna tell me what happened?" Her blonde uncle asked and Sarah shrugged.

"It was nothing, I should have called or something."

"Sare…"

"I know how the club works Koz. He doesn't owe me anything." He nodded slowly, his jaw still clenched and she was kind of happy that even though he knew it was just club life it upset him to see it happen to her. "Thank you anyway ."

"You know I love ya like my own, doll. I'll do anything for you." Smiling, Sarah did something she didn't do very often and wrapped her arms tightly around Kozik.

"I love you too Uncle Kozik."

She felt a hand brush over her hair before he was shoving her towards his bike.

"Come on, lets get ya home."

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><p>AN: Hope you enjoyed, please review x


	72. Chapter 72

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

As promised here is another update- thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! I know it was a bit longer than twelve hours but I really didn't think that time limit through. Okay so this is the wedding chapter (Opie and Lylas) and I chose my FAVOURITE Lana Del Rey song ever! If you haven't heard it you should. It should also be noted that the lack in updates was also the fault of Miss Lana Del Rey because I flew down to see her perform and she shook my hand! It was amazing (she's possibly better live). Anyways hope you really enjoy this chapter x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Two- Summertime Sadness <strong>

_I've got my red dress on tonight  
>Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight<br>Done my hair up real big beauty queen style  
>High heels off<br>I'm feeling alive  
>Kiss me hard before you go<br>Summertime sadness  
>I just wanted you to know<br>That baby you're the best  
><em>_**-Lana Del Rey**_

Asher pushed another bobby pin into the intricate bun that had taken the last half an hour to perfect. Picking up the spay can of hair lacquer she sprayed it into place before brushing some powder over her face and standing up to smooth out her red dress. She wanted it to be perfect. She needed it to be perfect.

A knock at the door had her padding down the hall and opening it to reveal Jill, the babysitter smiling back at her. It was a welcome change from the burly biker and pissed off daughter that had appeared at her door an hour ago. Since then, both had disappeared one out to a party and the other to put more hairgel in his artfully tousled hair before the wedding no doubt.

"Hey Jill."

"Wow, Asher you look beautiful." Asher was grateful for the compliment, even if she knew it was just the way Jill was.

"Thanks Jill, are you sure you're okay with having him until after the wedding?" Jill nodded, smiling brightly.

"It's fine Asher, go out and have a good time." Taking a deep breath Asher nodded and headed down the hall to the nursery knowing Jill was following.

"I'll be home as early as possible. Again, thanks." She said before walking in and looking over to the crib where Petey was sitting up, holding onto a teddy bear. "Hello baby." She said at the sight of her boy and lifted him out of the crib. "Are you going to be a good boy for Jill?"

"He's always a good boy. I won't lie he's my favourite." Asher smiled down at the blue eyed boy and had to muse that the product of two people that most people despised or feared was so easily lovable. Asher hugged him to her and pressed a kiss to his cheek inhaling that baby smell she'd grown to love.

"Okay, I'm going to go and finish getting ready. I love you Peter James." She pressed another kiss to his cheek and handed him over to Jill, giving the girl a small smile before heading back to her bedroom. Slipping on her silver pumps, Asher sprayed on some perfume and glanced at her watch. Happy should have been there by now. This was his house after all, she thought he might have stopped by for a shower or something.

As if hearing her thoughts, the ensuite door came open and Happy stepped out, towel slung around his hips. Asher cocked her head to the side and bit her lip as she watched the muscles twitch under his tattooed skin.

"You snuck in." She replied and he shrugged.

"Came through the back." He replied and Asher forced herself to stay where she was. It had taken her ages to get her hair that perfect and she was not going to wreck it, no matter how long she'd gone without sex or how good he looked, still damp from his shower. "Somethin' on your mind baby girl?" He growled stepping towards her and Asher held up her hand to stop him.

"We have to go." It ended in a giggle though as he pulled her into him and pressed a kiss to the base of her neck. "I mean it Hap." His hands found her hips and she pressed herself up against his naked torso.

"You complain', hooker?"

"Hmm." Realising that she really needed to get moving otherwise they were going to be late, she put her hands on his chest and pushed him back. "We're going to finish this later." She insisted and he dropped his head back in frustration, but let go of her and Asher stepped out of his reach. "The baby sitters got Petey so I'm ready to go when you are."

"Aight, you gunna take the cage?" He asked as Asher packed her clutch and stuck it under her arm and he pulled his white t-shirt and cut on, covering it with a navy hoodie.

"Can I come with you?" She asked.

"You'll wreck your hair baby girl." He smirked and Asher rolled her eyes. The one and only time he actually gave a shit about her hair.

"Like you give a shit."

"Lets go." Heading towards the door Asher called out to Jill her goodbyes, then she was following him down to the Dyna parked in the driveway next to her red Camaro. "Should getcha a better car." Happy said as he handed her a helmet that she recognised as a passenger helmet. She didn't say anything about the helmet though, instead looking at her beloved Camaro. He was right, it wasn't exactly a family car.

"I'll call Collie, he might want it back." She didn't spare a second thought for the missing PI, it only reminded her that she needed to tell Happy the truth. But tonight was about them finally being together again.

"Come on, lets go." Strapping the helmet on, Asher hitched up her dress, despite her heels and got on behind Happy, placing her clutch between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek on the back of his hoodie covered cut. He started the bike and pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, heading towards the reservation, her heels propped up on the footpegs.

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><p>Asher didn't miss the Sherriffs presence at the gate of the reservation but chose to ignore it as Happy parked the bike next to all the other bikes, got off and held out his hand to help her off the bike. Placing her hand in his with a smile, Asher swung her leg in front of her and slid from the bike, holding her clutch to her chest.<p>

"Thank you." She said sweetly and walked by his side towards the area that had been set up for Opie and Lylas wedding, Sons and friends and family walking around, talking to each other. It was a far more happier occasion than the last time she'd seen so many Sons in one place at Half Sacks funeral.

"You look beautiful Asher." Tara walked over to her and Asher left Happys side to walk over to the other old Lady. Asher smiled softly, despite the catfight that had almost occurred only a few hours ago.

"Could say the same about you. You look really happy." The smile on Taras face, Asher honestly wasn't sure she'd ever seen, it was nice, after all the shit the good doctor had been through for her to still be smiling.

"I am, having the boys home has made us all a lot happier." Asher nodded. It was true. From a distance she could see Gemma was ecstatic to see Clay and well Asher was pretty glad to have her killer back. Tara patted her arm before Jax was beside her, smiling at Asher.

"How you doin' Ash?"

"Not as good as you two, cousin." Jax wrapped an arm around Tara shoulders and Asher had to admire the pair of them. They were a good couple. Tara would never be one of those girls that they all feared of becoming. Controlled and dependent.

"Everyones sitting down."

"That's my cue. Good luck up there." Asher winked to the maid of honour before turning her attention to Jax as he went to walk off and she gently wrapped a hand around his arm. "Not you."

"What's up?" Jax, with his signature chin jerk asked as he turned back to her.

"You might want to tell the groom to keep his mouth shut when it comes to other peoples affairs." She said quietly, checking to make sure no-one was listening. Tara seemed to be pre-occupied with Gemma.

"What?"

"Lyla told Tara about me and you all those years ago." She saw Jaxs eyes flit over to Tara who was watching them now. "I managed to do damage control, but if Hap finds out…" She tried to emphasise the fact that Happy would kill her.

"Ah, shit Ash, Hap already knows." Asher swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What?" She rasped.

"Yeah, I know, shit sorry, you know…" he shrugged like it couldn't have been helped and Asher realised he was right. Happy probably had known for years. He was a perceptive bastard.

"Yep, right, fine." Asher sighed and waved her hand in dismissal and Jax smirked before leaning over to kiss her cheek but Asher held her hand up to stop him. "Its still pretty fresh for her, Jax, with you two having been together then." Jax rolled his eyes.

"We were on a break."

"Go, have fun with your girl." Asher smiled, ignoring his last comment and gestured for him to leave and he smirked before leaving.

Asher watched the maid of honour and the best man make their way up to the alter before heading towards the chairs where Happy was talking to Kozik, who was wearing a button up shirt and Tig, who was wearing some variety of western wear.

* * *

><p>An hour later, the ceremony was nearly over as Asher leant back in her chair beside her old man who had his arm slung around the back of her chair.<p>

"I promise to treat you as good as my leather, and ride you as much as my Harley!" Asher rolled her eyes as all the Sons shouted at the bride and groom once the nuptials were finished. Glancing over at Happy who was sitting beside her, she decided she could deal with not getting married just so she didn't have him say that to her.

If it wasn't for the fact that Lyla was young, beautiful and a pornstar, she wouldn't have gotten away with the tiny white dress and platform peeptoe heels she was wearing. But she looked so happy. So did Opie. And Jax and Tara, and Gemma and Clay, who Asher had managed to avoid since getting there. Turning her head again she looked up at the man beside her, seeing the underside of his shaven chin.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just happy to be here." He actually shifted his arm to tighten around her shoulders before they were all clapping and standing, celebrating the union.

* * *

><p>Asher was on the dancefloor with Tara when she felt hands on her hips and a breath in her ear.<p>

"You keep that ass in check." Happys voice was in her ear.

"You're leaving?"

"I'll be back. Don't go anywhere." She nodded, seeing Chibs, Bobby and Juice waiting for Happy at the edge of the dancefloor.

"I won't." Then he turned and left, Asher watching him go. So much for their reunion. "See ya."

"Come on, lets have some more cake." Tara wrapped an arm around Asher and lead her towards the tables were the rest of the women were sitting. It was alright for her, she'd gotten laid. Asher had been holding out for fourteen months and still was yet to get what she wanted.

But as Tara handed her a piece of white frosted cake she could see Clay sitting with Jax and a few other sons and some scary looking old dudes who she was pretty sure weren't nice people passing guns to each other under the table.

So much for subtlety.

"Glad to have your old man back?" A heavily accented Mexican accent asked and Asher turned to her left to see Marcus Alvarez at her side.

"Yeah."

"You look it." He said honestly, taking an offered piece of cake from the croweater handing out dessert. "Never got to thank you for coming by the other day." He said without even taking a bite and Asher felt a chill go down her spine like someone was watching her. Turning her head again she saw the icy blue eyes of Clay watching her from where he stood at the tables, the rest of the group filing away.

"I don't really think this is the best place to be having this discussion Mr Alvarez." She said quietly, turning back to the Mayan President. He too looked over to where Clay was retreating and nodded.

"Another time." Then he walked over to a familiar woman who was glaring in Ashers direction.

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><p>The relief Asher had when she saw the truck come back, Happy jumping out of the cabin made her stand up and watch him, Bobby, Juice and Chibs come towards the remainder of the reception. She saw the four of them talk to Clay briefly before Happy was looking in her direction.<p>

She looked down at her hands briefly before she heard movement and looked up, expecting to see Happy there, but was instead face to face with a tattooed head and a worried looking Juice.

"Hey, sorry, do you know where Sarah is? I tried calling her…" Asher could see the boy was worried. He was probably the cause of the cranky teenager in her house that afternoon. Motherly instinct had her wanting to tell him to get fucked, but the romantic in her sighed and relented.

"She's at a party in town. Just follow the noise." Juice nodded his thanks and took off before Asher looked up to see Happy striding towards her.

"Are you okay?" She asked watching him roll his head on his shoulders, a sign of his adrenaline wearing off no doubt.

"You wanna go?" He asked but Ashers eyes were drawn to the dancefloor where Jax and Tara were dancing as well as the newlyweds.

"No." he saw her gaze and she'd thought he was going to drag her away to the Dyna and take her home when he took her hand in his and tugged her towards him. But he kept pulling her towards the dancefloor. He was giving her this. A moment of normalcy.

His hands rested on her hips and she curled her arms around his, cupping her hands over his shoulders before resting her cheek on his chest. They didn't dance, their bodies staying still while the others around them swayed to the music.

After fourteen months she allowed herself to be wrapped up in his smell and his warmth, thankful that he let her.

As she heard the music fade out, the urge to do more than just stand passed and she stepped back to look up at him.

"Take me home, _Killer_."

* * *

><p>Once Jill was paid and out the door, Asher felt large hands on her hips dragging her back towards the bedroom. Turning around before they were even halfway down the hall, Asher arched up into Happy, pressing her lips to his. He stopped moving, leaning down and pushing her back into the wall. His tongue swept into her mouth and she moaned as it did the most delicious things to the muscles in her legs.<p>

No other man could compare to Happy.

There was no need for words as Happy lifted her onto his hips, her heels still in place as she crossed them behind him and used her arms to anchor herself to his mouth, arms wrapped tightly around his neck and he began the journey to the bedroom again. Instead of his usual dumping of her onto the bed, he eased them both gently down onto the bed, lifting her easily into the middle of the bed, his lips still assaulting her own.

Asher let out a gasp as his lips left hers and his teeth grazed her neck, making her whole body arch up into him. One large calloused hand came up to tug her arms from around his neck and Asher released him from her arms and her legs.

He stood up and shed off his hoodie, cut and t-shirt, his holsters taking their rightful place on the bedside table and unhooking his knife, putting it sheathed, beside the guns. Then he was on her again, kneeling between her legs as he leant over her, his fingers finding the zipper of her dress under her arm and gently sliding it down.

Asher reached up to help him, but her hands were shoved away.

"Fuck I've missed this body." He growled into her neck, before straightening up and sliding a hand down her leg to her ankle then flicked her pump off onto the floor, following quickly with the other one. Then those warm calloused hands were making their way back up, tugging the hem of her dress and she sat up so he could pull it over her head before he eased her back down again, his lips working their way from her neck down to her breasts. Eight months of hard work had returned her body nearly back to the condition it had been in months ago, before she'd found out she was pregnant. Her boobs were still bigger than normal, and she still carried a bit of weight on her hips, but he didn't even seem to notice

Especially when his lips left her skin and he was sitting up again, his fingers running over the tattoo on her side. There were a few imperfections caused by stretch marks and to the untrained eye they were unnoticeable, but Asher could feel his fingers tracing the spots were the ink now looked faded or wrinkled.

His eyes flickered up to her and she was struck with the intensity of his gaze. The familiar darkness reminded her briefly of what this man was capable of before she sat up and pulled him back down to her, needing to have him pressed up against her, at least for a little while.

Happy obliged, kissing her lips while his fingers worked expertly at her bra and panties before she heard the unmistakable sound of his jeans hitting the floor. Part of her wanted to take it slow, but most of her wanted him _now_.

His fingers lingered on her hips, before one hand came to her centre, rubbing gently, like he was testing the waters.

Gently even.

"Happy…" Asher groaned. Foreplay was not an option right now.

"Do I need a…" His voice was a low rumble as the question was pressed to her lips.

"No." She'd been on the pill for a few months now, since she'd stopped breast feeding. "It's okay." His fingers slipped into her and she gasped, arching up to him as he filled her with his hand. But his lips left hers with a loud smack and she slumped back into the mattress.

"Shit." Happy growled and Asher looked down to where his hand was connecting them, her body feeling every bit of movement from his hand.

"Not a good time to stop Hap." She gasped, falling back into the duvet and looking up at him, her chest heaving.

"Ash, babe…" She felt pressure and realised he was inserting another finger, his thumb grazing her clit. "Fuck, you're tight."

So?

He must have seen the look because he withdrew his fingers and slid them up and down her slit.

"Tighter than usual."

"I swear to god, if you don't fuck me Hap…" Ashers threat was cut off when his hand was gone and he guided himself into her, his lips on hers again, distracting her. The sting was bearable, and she took the pain, as long as his lips were on hers and his weight was pressing down on her, she'd take anything.

Wrapping her legs around his hips again, she lifted them with each slow thrust. Their lips came apart again and he braced himself over her, reaching down between them to rub her clit, trying to make her come quicker.

The pleasure shot through her quicker than ever, every muscle in her body tensing and her head thrown back into the pillow.

"Hap." She moaned, her whole body shuddered when she felt his teeth scrape her collarbone before sinking into the skin of her neck. He thrusted heavily a few more times before he growled and fell into her, his breath hot and laboured in her ear. He rolled off her and lay flat on his back beside her, his chest rising and falling quickly. Asher brushed her fingers over the indents from his teeth on her neck and smiled, satisfied, despite how quickly it had all happened.

God, she missed him.

Turning her head she saw him watching her through hooded eyes. Once he saw her watching him, he rolled on his side and traced his fingers lazily up her thigh.

"You want another go?" She asked, wondering where this show of affection was leading.

"Got all night." He growled, his fingers moving up to her stomach, his fingers running up and down the scar on her stomach just above her belly button. It had faded dramatically since she'd been pregnant and was barely a bump on her skin anymore. Before his fingers ran over the scar along the lower part of her stomach, her caesarean scar.

"If it's as fast as that we got plenty of time." Asher dared to tease and let out a yelp as he rolled on top of her, his knee coming up to rest between her legs.

"Wanna see fast, bitch." He growled and Asher grinned. As much as she liked his affection, it made her uneasy, like something bad was going on in his mind. All she needed was a smart ass threat and she felt everything go back to normal, like he'd never left.

"Come on, _killer_."

* * *

><p>Happy woke up alone.<p>

It was still dark and he felt cool linen on his fingers as he reached over for Asher. When he realised she was gone, he went to sit up, but could hear the sound of her voice somewhere over the other side of the bed. Looking over he saw the flashing green light of the baby monitor, where her voice was coming from.

Rolling onto his back he stared at the dark ceiling, just listening to her voice. The smell of washing powder on the pillow was something he never thought he'd find comfort in, it was a spicy chick smell, but it was home. His home with his Old Lady and his kid.

"_I wouldn't have been so embarrassed if they had been greasey girls – I might even have helped old Dallas. But those two girls weren't our kind." _Ashers voice was what had him climbing out of bed and pulling on his jeans, walking down the hall to the nursery.

The sight of the girl, wearing his t-shirt and her black framed glasses as she sat in the old rocking chair, their baby in her lap as she read from the book in her hand was enough to make him think back at the night before. She hadn't questioned where he'd taken off to after the wedding, and that's what had him pulling her to the dancefloor with the rest of his brothers. The need to be close to that one person that would always accept him no matter what he did. He didn't give her enough credit for how she'd handled herself for the last year.

Lying next to her, he'd been able to picture the ink he was going to put on her. Spanning across her thigh, the ink would be on the same side as the daisies he'd put on her years ago.

"_They were tuff looking girls – dressed sharp and real good-looking." _The cover of the book could be seen in the dim light, but he didn't need to see it to know it was Ashers favourite book, The Outsiders.

She saw him watching her, her head coming up.

"Hey." She said softly and he saw her smile. "I'll be back in a minute." She added.

"You're aight." Happy replied, stepping into the room, walking over to the rocking chair and pressing a kiss to his girls head. His fingers reached out to the baby in Ashers arms, brushing the light blue beanie on his head with the reaper on it.

"You wanna hold him?" She asked quietly, seeing the baby's eyes closed.

"Nah." Tugging on Ashers shoulder, he saw the confused look she gave him as she stood up, letting him step around her. He stepped around her and sat down in the rocking chair, pulling her into his lap. He wrapped an arm around her and looked down at the baby in her lap as her head rested on his shoulder.

"I missed you Hap." She said quietly.

Yeah, he missed her too.

"I know baby girl." He sighed heavily and spoke the words he was dreading. "I gotta head north tomorrow." He said quietly in her shoulder and felt her whole body tense. "I'll be back in a coupla' days. Think ya can handle that." She didn't say anything just nodded into his neck. "Promise, it won't be like this for long, babe."

"Don't make promises you can't keep Hap." She said quietly and he felt that gripping at his chest as she eased herself off his lap with the baby in her arms and he watched her put him in his cot. He wanted to promise her all kind of things. She was right on so many levels, but he had a need now. A need for his girl and his baby.

"I'm gunna keep this one girl."

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><p>AN: What do you think? REVIEW!


	73. Chapter 73

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Sorry I haven't gotten around to replying to anyone...but you all know who you are- you're wonderful! Thank you for your great support and those new readers that reviewed- I do actually reply to reviews most of the time. I just have to leave for class in a minute and wanted to give you guys an update! So Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Three – Starring Role <strong>

_You don't love me  
>Big fucking deal<br>I never tell you how I feel  
>You don't love me<br>Not a big deal _

_It almost feels like a joke  
>to play a part<br>When you're not the starring role in someone elses heart  
>I'd rather walk alone<br>Then play the supporting role  
>If I can't get a starring role<em>

_**-Marina and the Diamonds **__  
><em>

Juice wasn't sure why Asher had told him where Sarah was. He was well aware that Asher could give Gemma a run for her money, only that kind of woman would be able to have Happy so damn whipped. Though, it looked like she'd passed on the trait to her foster daughter, what else explained Juice leaving a perfectly good party to find the girl who'd walked in on him getting blown that afternoon.

Well that was part of it.

The other part, was that after all the shit that had gone down that night, killing those Russians, his nerves were shot and he felt sick to the stomach, and the person he needed so desperately to see to comfort him was the one person he'd hurt.

His ribs still smarted from the beating Happy had given him a few days ago but as he cruised through the quiet Charming streets he couldn't help but think that Happy knew he was going to fuck up. In his defence – he had been looking for Sarah at the return that morning. Part of him had been hoping that she'd come back from College for him. But the smart part of him knew she had a better life now, away from the club. She had a chance at being a professional. He could only hope that their brief friendship had been enough to heal some of her wounds.

That's why it had been like another kick in the ribs, again when he saw her face at the clubhouse. The blonde croweater had been taking the edge off a fourteen month stint when Sarah had walked in. And then fucking Koz had stopped him talking to her, explaining to her.

The music was getting louder over the thrum of his engine and finally he was there. A middle class one storey house with a large green lawn and colourful lights dangling from the roof was the source of the music, kids pouring out of it. Killing the engine, he was glad that he'd covered up his cut as he walked through the crowd, searching for a familiar brunette.

A few girls he recognised tried to paw at him, or get him a drink, but he was on a mission. He had a girl to find. Stepping into the living room he scanned the bodies, dancing and talking. People making out in the corners and some on the couch.

And that's where he saw her. He recognised the ink on her wrist first, attached to a hand that had it's fingers knotted through some gingers hair. Sarah was straddling some guys lap, her mouth on his, making out like it was…he didn't know. He didn't care. The point was she was making out with someone, someone who was not him. Striding over, he tried to tear his eyes away from the hands that were roaming all over the ass that he'd once had the liberty to be all over. But the anger, the anger was what caused him to snap a hand out and wrap it around the rosary bead tattooed wrist and wrench it from the punks hair, pulling Sarah to her feet.

"What the fuck!" Sarah screamed and spun around stopping dead when she realised who it was.

"Yo man, what the hell!" The red head was on his feet but Juice was focussed on Sarah who was looking like a deer in headlights. "Hey!" The red head shoved him, making him fall into Sarah slightly, causing her to shriek slightly.

Still holding onto Sarahs arm, Juice whipped around to face the little punk.

"Fuck off!" He growled and the red head cocked his head. Juice was tempted to hit the kid, but it meant letting go of Sarah and he knew she'd bolt. Turning around, he headed towards the door, pulling Sarah along behind him until they were outside and he swung her around and pushed her ahead of him. Immediately she tried to make a get away straight past him but he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back.

"Let me go!" She screamed, hitting his chest, but Juice just hung on. "Let me go _now _Juice!"

"No. I'm taking you home." He dragged her, still holding her to his chest out to his bike, not getting stopped by anyone worried about Sarahs welfare. She hung out with a good crowd by the looks of it. "Get on the bike."

He let her go and she straightened crossing her arms across her chest and glaring at him. She was so damn pretty. Her dress was too short and her legs were too long and those eyes, those blue grey eyes just burned into him.

"No." She said sternly and Juice sighed.

"Get on the bike Sarah or I'm going to call Hap." He threatened, knowing it was empty.

"Fine, call him." Sarah sniped back and Juice just glared at her. Sometimes she was fucking irritating. Cute, but irritating.

"Sarah, come on." She glared at him. "You want me to apologise?" Because he'd do it. He would grovel if it meant she would forgive him. "Cause I will." She glared at him. "Why did you come back Sarah?" He asked after a minutes silence.

"To make sure Happy didn't fuck Asher over, she's had a shit couple of years."

"She speaks!" He held his hands up in emphasis but earned a glare. "So you didn't come back cause a me?"

"Why would I come all the way back here for an asshole like you?" She snapped and Juice felt like shit.

"Sarah, baby." He sighed, dropping his hands to his side. "If I'd known you were back I never woulda…"

"What's it matter Juice? You're a Son- you don't owe me shit." She was really hurt. She grew up in the club. She knew how it was but she was so upset. And he had a flashback to the last time they'd been together. He was the first person that wasn't a father-figure that she'd trusted.

"You don't trust me anymore?" he asked quietly and she shrugged. "Sarah…" She glanced around the street and seemed to sigh before holding her hand out.

"Come on, lets go." Handing over his helmet, Juice watched her do it up before she looked at him expectantly. "Well?" Juice gave her a small smile before swing onto the bike and gesturing for her to get on and she slid on behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Just get me outta here." He could respect that, revving the bike, he pulled off the curb and into the night.

* * *

><p>"So you gunna spit out whatever has you so wound up?" Sarah asked as she licked the icecream off the back of her spoon and looked across the diner table at Juice. Across the road was the hotel where they'd ended up last time they'd come to the diner.<p>

He was still as good looking as he had been fourteen months ago. He had hair, which was something new. And a bit of a moustache. It was weird, not being able to see his tattoos and it made him look older, more serious.

"You know the guy you were practically fucking on that couch?" He asked and Sarah took a deep breath and tried not to let on how much it affected her that he was asking.

"Yeah." The red head was familiar, back when she'd gone to Charming High. "What's it matter?"

"Fourteen months ago, you wouldn't let anyone touch you like that." Sarah scoffed. He had never seen her in her prime. She'd had a lot of experience with making out and a bit of groping.

"I guess walking in on someone you thought better of getting a blow job does that to you." She snapped back. She hated herself for it. Hated that the fact that he hadn't given her a second thought in the last twenty-four hours, yet here she was having a cry over him.

"Sarah, if I'd known you were back, I wouldn't have touched that croweater." He replied and his honesty was like a punch in the gut. She dropped her eyes to the bowl of slowly melting ice-cream in front of her. "Shit girl, ya gotta know I like ya." He replied, leaning across the table and Sarah bit her lip. "I mean, you like me right?" She was nearly twenty and here they were sitting there looking like teenagers.

"Juice…" she said quietly. Yeah, she liked him, a lot more than she should. Enough to have her leaving Sacramento, the boy she was seeing and all her studies just to see him once.

"You like me right?" he sounded uncertain and Sarah nodded shyly.

"Yeah, course Juice."

"Aight, then lets pretend this whole fuckin' morbid day never happened." He smirked and Sarah looked up at him and grinned as well.

"Okay. What'ya got in mind Juan Carlos?"

"Come on, lets go." He stood up and held out his hand and Sarah didn't let her brain get ahead of her, slapping her hand into Juices and feeling him wrap his fingers tightly around it, his eyes on hers. "Sorry about before at the party." He said quietly before they moved and Sarah shrugged.

"It was kinda hot." This got one of his goofy grins and she suddenly felt a lot better. "I'm going to fix your hair." She said as he tugged her towards the door.

* * *

><p>"There that's better." Sarah put the razor down and pressed a kiss to the tattoo on the top of Juices head as he turned around to look up at her from his spot on the bathroom floor of his dorm room at the clubhouse. His chocolate brown eyes were smiling up at her and she was glad to be back face to face with the Juice she knew sans hair and moustache. "That moustache made you look like a creepy pornstar."<p>

"I'll take that as a compliment." He teased, kneeling up so his elbows were resting on her lap as she sat on a chair in front of her. "So what do we do now?" He smirked devilishly and Sarah bit her lip.

"Juice I…" Things still unresolved between them, she didn't want to add sex to that.

"I was thinkin' Godfather marathon, maybe a bit of popcorn." His smile went from playboy to innocent and Sarah felt a great wave of affection for him. There was a reason she'd chosen Juice in the first place. "Come on."

"Juice." He stopped and turned to face her. "If you're lucky I might let you get to second base."

"If _you're_ lucky, I'll let _you_ get to second base." He retorted, his smile never wavering. Sarah couldn't help herself then. She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his. She felt Juice smile into the kiss, wrapping his hands around her thighs to pull her up onto his hips and walk them towards the bed where he lay her down gently, their lips never parting until he tore himself away. "Stay here I'm going to get the popcorn." Sarah giggled as she watched him jog from the room, the door slamming behind him and flopping back on the bed.

Asher was right, she'd come back for Juice.

* * *

><p>AN: Just a short chapter to keep things going. A lot of people wanted to see Juice and Sarah talk so here you go! Sorry it's so short, but it didn't feel right putting Asher and Happys bit in with this. Anyways- Please review!


	74. Chapter 74

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Okay thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews for the last few chapters! You guys are amazing. I really appreciate all the feedback- and I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to replying to them all. So I'm sorry about that. Anyways this chapter is a bit graphic and a bit of a return to Happys roots. I hope it makes sense, but if you have any issues- either review or PM me! I am always happy to hear the feedback. Aight people, get reading! x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Four - (Don't Fear) The Reaper<strong>

_Seasons don't fear the reaper  
>Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain<br>We can be like them  
>Come on baby<br>Don't fear  
>The Reaper<br>__**-Blue Oyster Cult**_

Asher looked down at the man lying beneath her as she straddled his hips. They'd only just stumbled back from the nursery and she was taking her time to trace her fingers and lips all over his skin. The muscles across his chest and abdomen were if possible, firmer than they had been when she'd last had him naked and underneath her. As she traced the lines of colour she smiled, only stopping the descent when her finger traced over the letters across his ribs.

They were on the opposite side to the smiley faces he had as trophies under one set of ribs. The letters were long, black and spirally. Quite large in comparison to the words on his arm.

"Peter James." She swallowed the lump in her throat. He had their sons name tattooed on his skin. Biting her lip she stared down at the tattoo. If it was possible she loved him just a little bit more. "I love you." The words were whispered as she looked back up at him. "I mean it." She added and he flipped them so he was eye level with her.

"I know girl." She couldn't help the sigh that escaped.

"You always say that."

"Cause I mean it." He growled. Yeah, so he knew she loved him. Good for him. "I know the feeling baby girl."

"Admit it."

"Why?" He asked, his eyes narrowing and she shrugged. She didn't usually try to pry things especially feelings out of him because she wouldn't appreciate him doing it to her.

"Because I want to believe you." She said quietly and he buried his head in her neck but she heard the muffled words.

"Yeah I fuckin' love ya' you pushy bitch." Then he bit her shoulder hard, making her yelp.

* * *

><p>Happy woke alone again. This time he could hear the tv on elsewhere in the house and the baby monitor was silent. He rolled onto his back and glanced over at the clock that read six am. They were meant to hit the road in an hour. Looked like a morning quickie was out of the question considering his girl was nowhere to be seen.<p>

Climbing out of bed he went to the bathroom and went through the motions of a shower before dressing and heading out to the kitchen where Asher was leaning against the door into the living room, watching the TV, remote in her hand and poised to turn it off. She was dressed in her scrubs, her hair pulled up on top of her head and looking hot as usual.

"You got a shift?" He asked when she turned to face him.

"Yeah, Sarahs baby sitting." She said quietly and he could tell something was wrong.

"What?" Asher jerked her head towards the TV and he turned his head to see a reporter standing in front of the Charming Heights Development sign out of town, talking as cops moved around behind her. He snatched the remote out of Ashers hand and clicked the TV off before heading into the kitchen, watching Petey slap his hands on the table of his high chair. "How ya doin' little man." He smirked as Peteys big blue eyes shifted up to him and he reached for Happy. Happy obliged and lifted the baby from the high chair and held him close to his chest.

Fuck he loved this kid.

"Full disclosure right?" Ashers voice interrupted him pouring a coffee and he turned around mug in hand to see Asher watching him intently. He remembered the promise he'd made to her last year before the kid had been born and the one he'd made last night. "Bill Hayden was murdered. He was shot in the head in his office in Tacoma, by someone he knew." Happy was well aware of Ashers suicide slash murder theory. "I know because I was on the phone to him."

Shit.

"What?" He seethed.

"I heard him ask what the person was doing there and then silence, next thing I know, the sheriffs department are on my fucking doorstep!" She said, her voice not raising too much.

"You destroy the phone?" Didn't she know how much danger she'd put herself in by not telling him this in the first place.

"Broke every part of it- it was one of your prepays so it was clean." Smart bitch.

"Shit Asher." He looked down at the kid in his arms that was clutching at his cut. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I don't wanna point fingers but…" He knew where she was going with this. Bill Hayden had a dodgy history with SAMTAC, having put him in jail more than once.

"I'll look into it." She nodded slowly and watched him with bright blue eyes.

Oh. Right.

This was the part where he was meant to tell her the truth.

"Yeah, it was us."

"Us as in collective, or us as in me?" She asked softly and he shrugged. "Shit Hap." She gave him a pained look and he tried to ignore it, instead turning his attention to Petey. "You said last night..."

"And I meant it. You just gotta give it some time. We left a lotta untied ends when we went away Ash. It ain't all gunna be fixed in a heartbeat." He growled back but he lifted his gaze to her. "I'm gunna protect you, Asher." She opened her mouth and he thought she was about to say something else when there was loud barking and Grumpy came barrelling through the back door, followed by Sarah.

"Hey uncle Hap!"

* * *

><p><strong>Tacoma WA <strong>

"Yo man, slow down." Kozik jogged to keep up with Happy as he stormed through the SAMTAC clubhouse. He'd been needing to do this since June, when he'd been in jail and gotten word about Bill Haydens murder. Ahead of him he could see the Chapel doors shut and knew church was in. Well, at least he knew where the fucking president was.

"Man, you can't go in there." A prospect barricaded the door, spreading his arms across the wooden panels and Happy sneered.

"Fuckin' move." It took one hand to flick the prospect across the room and push the doors of the church open, Kozik close behind him.

"Happy." Lorcas voice pulled his gaze to the head of the table, where to his right sat Bowie, Riley and a couple of newer members as well as Blue. And to his left was one of his old Nomad buddies Bully, SAA patch on his chest, and a few newer members from other charters. Looked like everyone wanted to be SAMTAC.

"I tried to stop him Lorca." Happy turned around to glare at the Prospect.

"See this, it's a fuckin' patch, don't open your fuckin' mouth until ya got one." He snapped, pointing to the 'Unholy Ones' patch. He was fucking livid. This was his home. He'd sat at this table longer than any of those members besides Lorca, Bowie and Blue. He deserved some fucking respect.

"Get lost Prospect." Lorca said calmly and the Prospect took off. "Looks like church's adjourned boys." Lorca banged the gavel and nodded to the others who stood up and went to leave. "Bull, stay here." The new Sargent took his seat again and Happy watched his brothers make their way out the door, Blue nodding to him as he went and Riley sneering. Fucking little punk had it coming.

Once the room was empty, except for the President, Sargent, himself and Kozik, Koz closed the doors and Lorca gestured to his old seat on the right hand side, and both Charming brothers made their way around.

"Aight?" Happy looked over at Bully who was watching on seriously before turning back to the President. "Not that I'm not honoured by the visit Hap, but I gotta club to run here, can't have you storming in here every time your fuckin' panties are in a twist." Usually, he'd cop the shit from Lorca, cause Lorca was like a real brother, had made him the man he was, but this time, he wasn't going to stand by. "I know what you're here about."

"Hap…" He heard the warning from Kozik, but he wasn't going to sit by and take this shit.

"Did a patch kill Bill Hayden?" He leaned forward and levelled with the President.

"Okay, okay, I shot the sheriff." Bully said loudly and Happy snapped his head around to the former Nomad, "But I did not kill the deputy." Happy felt a large hand weighing down his shoulder so he didn't jump across the table at the prick. Bully had always gotten off on pushing Happys buttons. "Whoah whoah, Killer, sheesh I was just kiddin'."

"I ain't in a jokin' mood." He growled in reply but Bully just chuckled.

"I thought settlin' down with a kid and woman was meant to…settle ya down. What that pussy find somethin' better?" Happy made it halfway across the table before Lorca and Koz were pulling him back.

"Bull, cut it out." Lorca snapped, pushing Happy back into the chair. "Hap," He watched his brother glance between him and the SAA, "we didn't order the kill." Happys jaw clenched.

"Fuck." He hissed. He'd been hoping that Bill had just gone too far and Lorca had taken care of it.

"A patch did the hit though." Bully said and Happy snapped his head around at the Sargent again.

"Come on Brother, we've 'ad enough of ya jerking out chain." Koz warned his predecessor, but Happy could see the seriousness on Bullys face.

"Who?" Happy interrupted any retort and saw the Sargent and President share a look.

"Bowie." Lorca finally said and Happy stood up, his chair falling backwards with a bang and Koz was up beside him, this time not pulling him back.

"The fuck you mean?" Koz shouted and Lorca looked at the door before motioning with his hand for them to calm down.

"Sit down." Koz took a seat but Happy didn't just leant forward on his knuckles to look at Lorca. "Hap." Swallowing his pride Happy picked up his chair and sat down.

"We found out a coupla months ago." Bully said quietly, leaning forward on the table. "One of the receptionists had seen him walk into the station and leave just before they found him. She ran into Bella in the grocery store and asked if something was wrong. Bella managed to get the rest of the story out of her, apparently she never thought to report it."

"Shit." Koz said from beside him, but Happy was watching Lorca.

"I know Brother." Lorca nodded. "It don't make any sense."

"Yeah it does." Kozik was the one that had their attention now. Happy turned his head around to look at his blonde brother. "When Spanner was shot, he was out the back of the warehouse with Bowie." Koziks eyes were on Lorca now.

"You accusing a Brother of killing Spanner?" Lorca asked and Kozik jerked his head slightly.

"Spanner was a good brother." Kozik glanced back at Happy, "To all of us, it won't hurt to ask."

"Shit." Lorca rubbed a hand over his face but Happy could see it was just confirmation that Lorca had had his suspicions of the VP, otherwise he would have been in the room with them. "Aight, take your shipment out to the safehouse, we'll meet ya there." Happy nodded and stood up, glancing over at Kozik who did the same. "For all our sakes, I hope we're wrong." Happys lip twitched, his old President was going soft.

* * *

><p>Happy sat beside Kozik at the back of the safehouse. It wasn't that far from the cabin that Ashers grandparents owned. He'd never noticed before, but being there in daylight, he could see the familiar road that he'd ridden down countless times either with, or to see his girl.<p>

He never thought he'd be one of those men that wished they were at home with their Old Lady and kid, rather than sitting out there, waiting, probably for a kill. If there was one thing Kozik and Happy agreed on, it was that Bill Hayden was a nosy fucker. That in turn led to them knowing that whoever killed him probably was trying to hide something. The love they'd once had for their brother was wavering with the possibility that someone like Spanner had been killed innocently. Well as innocently as an Unholy One could be.

"We owe it to Spanner to find out the truth Hap." Happy nodded, inhaling from his cigarette. Yeah, Spanner, the brother that had always been there by his side, by his girls side. Spanner was as close to blood as Happy had ever had.

At the mention of Spanners name, the tattoo on his ribs seemed to burn.

Asher had named their kid after him to honour him, and Happy would kill the son of a bitch to redeem him.

The sound of Harleys up the road had them both standing up as Miles jogged over from the shed that the truck was parked behind. "They're here."

"Go sit with the truck, don't come out 'til me or him come and getcha, got it?" Kozik asked and Miles nodded. "Yo, Miles, any fucker comes near that truck, patch or not, shoot 'em in the knee." Koz added and the kid nodded, jogging off to the truck. "Aight, lets fix this shit up."

SAMTAC were making their way into the house now, and Kozik flicked the safety off on his gun and stuck it in the back of his jeans before nodding to Happy and they stealthily moved into the house.

"The fucks going on?" Happy could hear Bowie bellow. "I'm a fuckin' VP!" Stepping up into the main room, Happy and Kozik were standing behind Bowie, all three of them, directly facing the President, Sargent and the other club members as Bowie was duct taped to a chair. "Ask Blue, you can't do this."

"Blues on his way to California to see his son." Lorca glanced over at Riley who was standing nearby looking sheepish at the mention of his father. "'Sides, seated members make the rules. Blue ain't seated anymore." Happy knew that left Lorca, Bully and Donut as secretary the only seated members that could make the final decision on what happened here tonight.

"What's this about?" Bowie practically screamed.

"Bill Hayden." Lorca said, crossing his huge tattooed arms across his chest and glaring down at the Vice President. They surely did things a lot different here in Tacoma than Charming and already Happy was feeling that familiar rush of adrenaline he'd lived off in the earlier years patched in Washington.

"He fuckin' killed himself!" Bowie shouted and Happy watching the back of his neck twist as he tried to crane his head around to see who was behind him, but the two prospects flanking him were ordered to hold his head still, their hands shaking as they did so.

"He was murdered, Bowie. Shot by a Son. There was a fuckin' witness!" Lorca bellowed and Happy could see his President was starting to lose his cool. "Who the fuck ordered the hit Bowie, cause I fuckin' know you pulled the trigger, I can see it in your eyes."

"No-one. I never did it!" Bowie screamed but a prospect slapped his hand over the VPs mouth, snapping it back when Bowie obviously sunk his teeth in. "Why would I kill him? Huh? Why the fuck would I want to kill Bill Hayden?" Lorca glared at Bowie for a second before lifting his eyes to lock with Happys.

"You son of a bitch!" Lorca flew forward, sucker punching Bowie in the jaw. Donut and Riley jumped in to pull the huge President away, as Bully stood back smirking, the side of his mouth jerking up. The big fella was getting off on it, Happy could see his knuckles cracking, the words _love _and _hate _tattooed on each hand, a letter on each finger. "You fuckin' son of a bitch." Lorca seethed.

Bowie spat on the ground, it turning the white linoleum red with blood. Lorca took deep breath and composed himself and tugged his cut back into his place, that ice cold demeanour Happy knew from years in prison was back in place and he strode forward purposefully and gripped his hand on Bowies cheeks.

"Who ordered the hit?"

"I'm tellin' ya Lorc…" Lorca pushed Bowies head back and stepped back.

"Aight. Looks like he ain't sayin' shit."

"He sounds innocent." One of the Prospects, the same one, was stupid enough to say and all eyes were on him.

"Shut it Prospect or you'll be joinin' him." Bully growled and Prospect swallowed heavily as Bully turned back to the President. "Only one way to get the truth."

Lorcas eyes were on him again and Happy nodded, stepping around the Prospects and coming to squat in front of Bowie. The Prospect was wrong, Bowie wasn't innocent, Happy could see it in his eyes the moment they met. He was regretting everything he'd done, because he knew he was going to die.

"What'ya think Hap?" Lorca asked and Happy hitched his lip in disgust at the man in front of him, the Brother he'd shared a patch with for over ten years.

"You kill Spanner Bowie?" Happy growled and Bowie swallowed thickly. "and Bill?" Bowie knew how this game worked. The more you co-operated, the quicker your death was.

"Yeah."

"Who ordered it?" Happy asked, reaching into his cut and pulling out the leather wrapped tools he kept in the saddle bag of his Dyna for times like these and dropped it on the ground, unrolling it and showing off the array of multigrips, spanners, and various other tools. When Bowie didn't reply, Happy pulled out the spanner, holding it up in front of Bowie, jerking his eyebrow at the VP.

_This one was appropriate wasn't it?_

"If I tell you they'll kill me." He hissed and Happy shrugged, standing up and positioning the handle of the spanner in his hand. "Wait, wait." Bowie gasped but Happy didn't shift his stance, watching Bowie look at him, even though his jaw was ballooning from Lorcas hit. "I can't tell you who ordered it. But, it wasn't just Bill." He gasped.

Lorca stepped up to Happys side and looked down at the VP.

"Who else?"

"Bill." Bowie watched Lorca, "Spanner." Then his gaze shifted to Happy. "Frank Hayden."

Happy felt his blood boil. He didn't miss the connection.

"Had to do Bill after he came to Lorca askin' for her address." Bowie continued. "Spanner got too deep, I didn't wanna, but he knew too much." Lorca tugged his knife out of his sheath and Happy watched Bowie recoil as much as he could in the chair, but the President leant down and cut the _Vice President _patch off Bowies cut before putting the knife back and pocketing the patch.

"And Frank?" Lorca asked when he was done.

"Got sober, wanted redemption." Bowie sighed. Lorca turned his attention to Happy and nodded.

"Prospects'll clean up. Shifty'll go with them." Lorca nodded to a sheepish looking skinny dude off to the side who looked like he was holding down the contents of his stomach, unlike the Prospects who looked like they were about to spew all over Bowie. "Pity the timing, don't feel right." Lorca said looking down at Bowie sadly, "but Bella'll kill me if she did all that cookin' for nothing." Happy had to smirk. People said he was a callous bastard. "Traitor." Lorca patted Happys shoulder, before looking at Bowie and spitting at his feet. "Give him one for Pete."

All of them stopped dead though when they heard Bowies husky laughter. Lorcas nose wrinkled with disgusted and Happy shifted foot to foot.

"What's got you so fuckin' cocky- you're dead." Bowie just chuckled harder. "Spit it out!" Lorca bellowed and the whole room went deathly silent as they waited for Bowies reply.

"Only one more to go."

With that Happy lifted the spanner in his hand and embraced it's weight, before swinging his arm around, sending a spray of blood up the wall.

* * *

><p>"You want another one?" A pretty little thing with pink hair asked, holding out the whiskey bottle and Happy nodded, before looking down at the red head tattooing another smiley face on his ribs. He hadn't been sure, but Lorca, despite his obvious betrayal had nodded and mentioned that Happy had another one for the club. So he'd let the red head have at it. It was the same little bitch that had done a few of his other pieces and he'd seen her biting her lip as she worked, her eyes roaming up and down his body.<p>

"Got another new one." She said, her eyes flicking up to the words on his other ribs. "Who's Peter James?"

"My son." Happy said quietly and watched her lift her head, the needle stopping all movement as she looked over at the ink on his arm that she'd done years and years ago.

_The Blessed._

She didn't say anything after that and resumed work. She'd been in Tacoma long enough to have worked out the words meant something different.

When she was done, she stepped back and admired her work. Happy nodded to her, grabbing his cut and his t-shirt, slipping her a hundred and swallowing his glass of whiskey before heading towards the lot. Even though the adrenaline was still burning its way through his body, he needed to make a call, and he needed quiet.

"How's Asher doin' Hap? The bitch still a dud lay?" Happy stopped halfway across the lot, his cut just over his shoulders as he looked over his head at his Brother. "She never really got it, how to please a man. She may be hot Hap, but she's a fuckin' dud." Riley was tanked, drunk with fury over a dead brother, but this shit had been coming a long time.

Happy didn't miss the hurt look on the bitch that Riley had married years ago, one of Ashers school friends or something. Yeah, looked like Riley had never really gotten over his first girl. Pushing his cut off his shoulders, Happy tore off his shirt and tossed it to the nearby Prospect.

"Get some tape, grunt." He growled and watched the Prospect scamper off towards the clubhouse. "I told ya last time." Happy said glaring at Riley. "Ring. Now." Riley handed someone his drink before doing the same as Happy, taking off his top layer and coming to stand in front of Happy.

"Rings off." Happy pulled his rings off and watched as Riley did the same, handing them to his wife. Happy passed his to the returned Prospect and took the tape he offered. Then without another word, Happy stalked off to the ring wrapping his hands as he went. If Riley wanted to have a go at him after he'd beaten a man to death with a spanner, then have at it.

Bully stood between them seconds later, holding them apart as they fought to get at each others throats, Happys body charged up on adrenaline again.

"Ya, know, if you couldn't make her scream, it meant cha weren't doin' it right." He spat before looking up at Bully who was smirking as he turned his attention to Riley. Riley nodded and Happy straightened up, rolling his shoulders back and feeling Bully step back out of the way. Riley hadn't expected him to go from standing up straight to swinging, and that's why Happy got some sick satisfaction as for the second time that day he sent a spray of blood across the mats.

* * *

><p>Fingers untaped and rings back on, as well as his cut and shirt, Happy made his way back out of the lot to make the call he'd been planning on making before he'd beaten Riley into the mats. The kid had put up a good fight, but he hadn't learnt to control his rage yet. It had blinded him. Happy had known Lorca was watching nearby, already working out how he was going to train the kid up to be the next Spanner or Kozik, but Happy had been wanting to lay him out for a few years now. So he let all those memories take control. All the times he'd left Asher behind, let her almost get attacked by rival clubs in Tacoma, let her get hit on by Brothers in their clubhouse and of course when he'd given her a bloody lip after Asher had bailed Happy out of jail.<p>

No one touched his girl and got away with it.

Now, he was on his way to call the girl. He wouldn't admit it, he was telling himself it was because of what Bowie had said, about killing the Hayden brothers and Spanner because of her, not because at the end of the day when he was hopped up and needing a bitch, it was her he wanted.

"Hello?" She must have been sleeping he realised and felt like shit for waking her up. "Are you going to speak or just breathe heavily down the line like a creep?"

"Nice." He growled and heard her laugh slightly.

"I wasn't expecting your call." Of course she wasn't. He knew he took advantage of that sometimes.

"Just checkin' in. Everything aight?" Did she lock all the doors, have the gun beside her bed, Grumpy in the house?

"Everythings okay." She said softly, "Just lyin' here, all alone, thinking about my man…" Happy smirked. His girl.

"What're you wearing?" He growled and heard her sigh.

"Nothing." She purred.

"Oh yeah?" he could conjure up the image of her now.

"Well I can't exactly _think of you_ with my clothes on." He needed to go find a room and continue this talk, but he had a few things to talk to Lorca about. He was just calling to check in. He actually had to remind himself that. "But you gotta go." She'd picked it up in seconds.

"Sorry, baby girl." There were all kinds of things he wanted to do with that voice on the phone , but he'd have to wait until he got home. "I'll be home tomorrow."

"It's okay, I can entertain myself." It wasn't sulking, it was merely a statement.

"Shit girl, don't start that."

"Start what, _Killer?_" Smart little bitch. Knowing he had to hang up now, Happy gritted his teeth and reminded himself he'd be home tomorrow.

"See ya tomorrow, hooker."

"Night Hap." She hung up before he did, just like he knew she would. Tucking his phone back in his cut and cracking his bruised knuckles, Happy turned around and headed back towards the party to find his former President.

When he found Lorca, he was sitting in his chair at the head of the table in church, cigarette in his mouth and his right hand splayed over the top rocker on Bowies cut. Putting a brother down was warring with Lorca's resilience. He'd seen the President do unspeakable things to enemies, but he was crumbling in the face of a dead brother. Two dead brothers.

"Ya know, Uncle Tom trusted Bowie." Happy closed the church doors as the President spoke. "Found him at a fuckin' bike show and brought him home, never looked back." Lorca took a big inhale of his cigarette and tapped the ash off the end of it into the bottle cap nearby. "How am I meant to tell his Old Lady that he betrayed the club? Kick her out?" Happy shrugged as he leant against the doors. Bowies old lady was a bitch, he couldn't help the lack of affection.

"Spanner." Happy said quietly and watched the President nod.

"Yeah," the older man sighed and ran a hand over his head, "Spanner. I loved that boy like my own." Happy nodded. "You can kinda relate to that now, huh?"

Happy took a seat at the table.

"Never thought I'd see that comin', you and the girl havin' a kid." Yeah, Happy knew. Kids had never been an option until Asher had gotten pregnant. Now he had a whole different part in his heart reserved for that kid. "And she did the honourable thing, namin' him after Spanner." Happy nodded again. "Never gave her enough credit and I'm sorry for that Brother."

"Nothin' ta be sorry for." Happy shrugged. He didn't see why the President would be apologising to him.

"Yeah," Lorca levelled with Happy, pushing the cut across the table, away from both of them, "there is." Lorca ran a hand over his thinning hair. "Bowie went after all those boys cause of Asher. Cause I didn't do the right thing by her." Happy felt something squeeze at his chest, a feeling he usually got when he'd put the girl in pain. "I told Bill where Asher was. He said he had something to tell her. I got Bill killed, I put your girl in danger, your kid, fuck, Hap." Happy had only seen Lorca like this once. Back when they'd been in prison together when he was worried about what could happen to Bella if anyone found out he'd killed for her.

Happy stood up and reached over to take the cut off the table and held it tightly in his hand.

"Bowies dead Lorc. Don't regret it. It had to be done." For Spanner.

He didn't want to dwell on the possibility that someone was coming after Asher, he'd deal with that tomorrow, she was safe in Charming. Now he needed to pay his President back.

"I know Hap." Lorca nodded and Happy dragged the cut off the table and headed towards the door, glancing back at the President briefly before continuing outside.

"Is he okay?" He turned around to see Bella standing behind him. She looked worried. She was a good Old Lady.

"He will be." He held the cut out to Bella and she took it, her fake red nails pinching the leather and he could see her take a deep breath. "Go and see him."

"I'll take care of this first." Bella said quietly and Happy nodded gratefully. "Thanks Happy."

"What for?" Happy asked.

"For being there for him. He's not coping without Spanner. It hurts him." Bella smiled sadly. "You being here makes a difference, I wish you could stay." Yeah, Happy had moments where he wished he could stay too, Tacoma used to be his home. But now, his home seemed to be wherever Asher was.

"Asher won't…" He started but Bella nodded.

"I know." She patted his arm, "she's really _happy_, 'scuse the pun, darlin'." Then with a swish of hair, she was gone, headed towards the gaggle of women where the familiar red head was holding court. Before he'd gone away, he'd never thought about what would happen if it were him that was dead. Who would hand Asher his cut and promise that the club would look after her? Part of him knew deep down she'd take off. She didn't trust the club, and right now, he didn't blame her. The club had killed the last of her Hayden relatives and her best friend.

"Heya Hap." He looked down as the pink nails dragged across his chest and he followed the fake tanned arm up to the sweetbutt that was smiling up at him.

_Crystal._

"How'ya doin' doll?" He asked and she bit her lip, dragging her nails down his stomach, but his phone buzzing distracted him and he pulled it out of his cut, stepping back from the sweetbutt to flick the cell open and see the new message.

Up the top it said the sender was Asher and contained a picture. Scrolling down, he smirked at the picture.

Yeah, that was his girl.

"Sorry girl, got somethin' ta do." He shoved the pornstar looking sweetbutt away as she tried to approach again, looking down at the half naked photo on his phone before dialling, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and walking away.

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><p>AN: Okay honest opinions- REVIEW! x


	75. Chapter 75

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! I did reply to most of the reviews so if I missed you - let me know! To the few guests that reviewed- THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really appreciate all the support!

**NOTE: **There have been a few questions regarding the outcome of season 4 in this story. To answer this query I will be following (very distantly) the season 4 plot line as I have only seen up to 'Kiss' and the season finale. As for most of this story, there have only been subtle parts of the previous seasons in the story and I wanted to go more indepth with season 4 but have instead decided that you will see certain aspects of Season 4 but it will end differently. I'm taking authors liberty here people! Which bits I keep and which bits I throw away will be a surprise! So please let me know what you think so far!

ENJOYx

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Four- Hurricane<strong>

_I jumped the gun  
>So sure you'd split and run<br>Ready for the worst  
>Before the damage was done<br>Storm never came  
>Or it never was<br>Welcome to the inner workings of my mind  
>So dark and foul I can't disguise<br>Nights like this  
>I become afraid<br>Of the darkness in my heart  
>Hurricane<br>-__** Ms Mr**_

Asher leaned over her coffee cup in the cafeteria feeling like she could sleep for a week. Happy would be back that night from his trip to Oakland via Tacoma. She was psyching herself up for the discussion they needed to have about her extracurricular activities. He had been pissed when he left about the Bill Hayden thing, she could only imagine that the outcome from him finding out about her research was only going to get worse the longer she put it off.

"You look tired." Glancing up she saw Piney Winston, the veteran member of SAMCRO standing over her.

"Hi."

"You mind?" he asked, gesturing to the seat in front of Asher and she shook her head, watching the old man take a seat. "How's the kid?"

"Peteys good. How're things with you?" She took a long sip of coffee, picking up a sugar packet and pouring it into her cup. "What brings you down here?"

"Had to pick up a prescription. Thought I'd drop by and see how you're doing."

"Hmm." She rose her eyebrow and looked at the old man sceptically. . "Something in particular on your mind?"

"Ah." And there it was. He wanted a favour. That was the only reason any of them came around. "How much do you know about what your old man does for the club?" Asher rose an eyebrow.

"I know enough."

"You either know it all or you know none, girl." He warned and Asher leaned forward on the table, reminding the old man that this was her place of work, not his clubhouse.

"I know you need to remember this isn't your clubhouse." She saw the old man smile before coughing and shaking his head.

"Killer taught you well could see that in the way you handled all that shit when he went away." He chuckled around another cough and Asher waited for him to continue. "How much do you know about drug cartels?" Ashers eyes widened. She didn't know much, but she knew they were bad news. Very bad news. "They target families." She felt the bile rise in her throat.

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked weakly but somehow she already knew the answer. Clay was looking for fast money, and lots of it. Who better to get involved with? "Are you trying to end-road Clay through me?"

"I'm just concerned for a young girl and her child. They pitched the idea last night, voting tonight, make it count girl." Piney said sternly and stood up giving her a small smile and walked away. Typical biker, drop a massive bomb on her and walk away.

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><p>"How's my beautiful boy?" Asher took Petey from Jill and kissed his cheek noisily, making her son giggle. "Are you staying for dinner?" She asked, looking up at the babysitter. Sarah was back in Sacramento until the weekend and she kind of missed her, but was too tired to care.<p>

"No, thanks though." Asher nodded, thankful that she was getting the time alone as the girl picked up her handbag and headed towards the door. "Bye bye Petey." Asher smiled as the little blonde waved to Petey who was far more interested in the chain around Ashers neck.

"Thanks Jill, I'll see you on Wednesday?"

"Sure Asher. Have a good weekend." Then the girl was gone and it was just Asher and Petey.

"Well tiger, what'dya wanna do?" She asked, dropping her handbag on the ground and shut the house door behind her.

The child laughed and Asher felt her heart pang. She'd been planning on ignoring Pineys warning. Happy wouldn't listen to her and it wouldn't make any difference to the club, but seeing her baby's bright blue eyes she knew that she had to fight to keep them safe. That was who she was.

"What have you been doing crazy child?" she chuckled, pressing a noisy kiss to his chubby cheek, walking through the house to the kitchen. "Jill's been spoiling you again hasn't she?" She saw the building blocks on the ground that Tara had bought Petey and sat down in front of them , propping him on her lap, picking up the blocks and passing them to him. "Wanna build a house?"

The house wasn't very big but Petey got more joy out of knocking it down than he had building it. He was similar to his father in that way. He was looking sleepy so she got him a bottle, warming it up in the microwave before taking him to his room and giving it to him in his crib.

* * *

><p>When she finished showering she walked out of the bathroom in her towel and into bedroom. She could hear the raspy chuckle of Happy through the baby monitor. Friday night and the Tacoma or Charming Killer, whatever he was these days, was playing with their baby in the nursery. She slumped down on the bed, holding the towel to her chest as she listened to his voice. It was amazing how after all this time he managed to just insert himself back into her life and the overpowering urge to protect her family kicked in. Taking a deep breath she got off the bed and pulled on one of Happys t-shirts and padded barefoot down to the nursery.<p>

"Hey." She said quietly when she saw Happy sitting in the old rocking chair, Petey standing on his lap, his fingers wrapped tightly around his fathers. "You're home early." She leant against the doorframe and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Gotta head back in a minute." He replied, standing up and putting Petey back in his crib. He walked over and Asher could smell the dust and grease on his skin, a smell that was so sexy she couldn't imagine a better smell. He reached down and wrapped a hand around her hip, pulling her into him. Wrapping her arms around his neck and pulled herself up to his lips letting him negotiate the pace.

Pineys words had her pulling away before she could be pushed into the bedroom though.

"We need to talk." She gasped as he pulled back, his forehead pressed to hers, his hands bracing him on the doorway.

"Ain't really in the mood for talkin' girl." He growled and Asher pressed her hands flat on his cut.

"This is important." She said quietly and by the way he didn't push away she knew he was waiting for her to continue. "Piney Winston came to see me at the hospital."

"Old man swapping tequila for morphine?" He joked but Asher couldn't force herself to smile. "Hey? Spit it out, Ash."

"You know when you got patched into Charming and I said I'd stay, you know what that means right?" She asked quietly and he furrowed his brow and she could just imagine the questions he was thinking about asking.

"Yeah." He of all people knew the meaning of family.

"This isn't about the club anymore, Hap. It's about us and it's about _our child_. If we're going to be in danger, I need to know." She saw his jaw tick and knew he was connecting all the dots. "Especially drug cartel kind of danger ." He stepped back then, rubbing his hand over his face, sighing as he looked up at the ceiling.

"You know I ain't talking to you about this." He growled, pointing his finger at her and Asher nodded.

"I do. And normally I wouldn't get involved, but this…" She leant back against the doorway and glanced over at the cot in the dim nursery. She saw him nod and he came closer, wrapping a large arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest.

"I know baby girl." He said quietly into her hair and Asher gripped at his cut.

"I'm sorry to do this to you." She whispered and Happys hands were on the side of her head, tipping it back to look up at him. "I know it goes against every part of you."

"Not all parts." He said quietly. Asher felt something squeeze at her heart and she felt a great rush of affection for the man in front of her.

"Thank-you." Before he could reply the cell in his pocket went off and he pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open, not moving from Ashers personal space.

"Yeah?" Asher leant back on the doorframe as he spoke on the phone before flipping it shut and putting it back in his pocket. "Gotta head." He said gruffly and Asher nodded.

"I'll leave you out some food." His lip jerked and he leant down and kissed her lips again.

"See you later."

* * *

><p>Happy parked the bike in the driveway sometime before midnight and pulled his nightglasses and helmet off and propped them on the handlebars. The night was still weighing heavily on his shoulders. He'd voted no, but fucking Koz hadn't. He'd been a junkie years ago and he thought it was a good choice to back drugs? Even before Asher had played the family card on him, Happy had been seeing the downfalls in Clays plan. What he didn't get was why the fuck Prince Charming was backing it. He thought Jax would think rationally about it. It looked bad that Happy and Juice had voted no and Jax and Opie, the good ones had voted yes. Something was up. But he couldn't fix it now. Drugs were in.<p>

Surveying the street he spotted a dark blue Monaro parked on the curb across the road, about one house down. Paranoia swept through him. Monaro's were cop cars. Swinging off the bike he walked up to his house and doubled back behind the car moving quickly and quietly through the dark street, pulling his gun from one of his holsters. When he came up behind the back of the car he looked down at the number plate and felt the adrenaline ease.

"Shit." He chuckled slightly.

Tucking the gun back into his holster he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief as he crouched down and pulled his knife from his sheath and quickly worked on the loose screws. Once the number plate was off the car and in his hand, he moved up beside the car where he could see the driver slumped down in the seat, not even seeing him approach as he watched their house.

Slapping the number plate on the windshield he got a great deal of satisfaction at watching the driver practically shit his pants and whip around to look up at him wide eyed.

"You got a few screws loose." He shouted through the window and watched as the window slowly came down and the driver looked up at him sheepishly. "What the fuck ya' doing here Collie?"

"Uh, hey Hap." The PI looked embarrassed but Happy didn't give a shit. Asher wasn't some high school girl that the loser was crushing on anymore. She was his old lady, she had a kid.

"Get outta the fuckin' car you perve." He growled and Collie got out of the car, shutting the door and leaning against the door, the familiar clack of the gun stuck in the back of the kids jeans hitting the car as he did. "What're you doin' here?"

"Just checkin' in."

"Asher said you were off the grid." Collie shrugged and Happy took a deep breath and refrained from strangling the guy. "What're you doin' in Charming?"

"Look, I heard what happened in Tacoma, I was just making sure Asher was okay." Shit word travelled fast.

"She's fine. I got her." Happy growled and Collie nodded slowly.

"Yeah, sure you do." Happy snapped then, lashing out and wrapping a hand around the kids throat and pushing him up against the car.

"The fuck did you just say to me?"

"You know I'm just keepin' an eye on her Hap. Can't hurt to have an extra pair of eyes on her." Collie gasped, but didn't fight back. Clay had asked him and Koz to go out of town for a few days, maybe that could work. Slowly he eased his hand off Collies neck.

"Aight, but only for a couple of days." He ordered, shoving his finger in Collies face.

"Yeah."

"And you go anywhere near her…"

"You'll slit my throat. Got it." Happy nodded. At least the kid knew what was at risk.

"And learn to screw the stolen plates on a bit tighter Col, you're stickin' out like tits on a bull." Then he forced himself to remain passive and strode back to the house. Looking forward to finishing this fucked up day.

* * *

><p>Asher woke early out of habit. Happy was still sleeping soundly beside her. He'd gotten back late, mumbling about the vote passing and having to go away for a few days. It had taken him five seconds to fall asleep but she'd been lying there awake most of the night trapped underneath him. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe him going away for a few days was just the thing she needed to get over this whole Cartel thing.<p>

No. She reasoned as she stared at his sleeping form. This wasn't about him and the club, it was about her trying to avoid telling him the truth. Taking a deep breath, headed for the shower reasoning she'd deal with it then.

And just her luck, Happy was still there, asleep when she got out of the shower. Dressed in a pair of sweats and a tank top she watching his back rise and fall five times before leaning down and pulling the box from under the bed and swallowing down her fear. She pulled out the file she'd compiled over the last fourteen months and put it on the bed, jostling Happy slightly as she sat back down.

She watched him stir, his shoulders flexing as he reached into her empty spot before rolling onto his back. This was the man that she loved. The man that had saved her life countless times.

The man she trusted with her life.

"We need to talk." She said quietly and watched him shift to sit up.

"Last time you said that you coerced me into swingin' a vote." He sighed tiredly, but didn't move from the bed.

"You might regret that in a minute." She said apologetically. He might just hate her in a minute. "Here." She held out the folder and he took it slowly from her, his eyes on her face.

"What's this?"

"The truth." Asher shrugged, thankful when she heard Petey stir on the other end of the baby monitor. "I've gotta feed him." She made her getaway, going down the hall to the nursery and tending to her son.

* * *

><p>When she finally emerged, the bedroom was empty, but she found Happy sitting at the kitchen table the papers laid out in front of him as he drank his coffee. He lifted his head when he heard her walk in and Asher braced herself for his wrath, but it never came.<p>

"You wanna explain this to me?" He said calmly and Asher shrugged.

"Which part?"

"All of it." Taking a deep breath, she walked over and sat across from him and reached out for the letter that Pete had left her.

"This is what started it."

It took them awhile to get through the information but finally she got to the last part.

"Lorca's got the gun now, he got one of the rookies to get it out of evidence and replace it with another nine." She saw his jaw clench and she waited yet again for the explosion but he took a deep breath and spread his hands across the pages.

"It was Bowie." He said sternly, locking eyes with her.

"What?"

"We took care of it." Bowie had been the one to kill Bill Hayden? "Your old man, Bill…Spanner- it was all Bowie." He sighed heavily and Asher felt sick. She could remember Bowie flirting harmlessly with her years ago, taking care of her when she had to go in with the Nords when she'd first turned up in Charming. She'd trusted Bowie.

"He killed them all?" She choked, watching Happy nod solemnly. "Did he say why?" Happy stiffened and Asher knew straight away what the answer was. It was because of her. "Who ordered the hits?" She asked, not waiting for an answer.

"He never said. Look, baby girl, it's probably fine, over with Bowie dead." Asher levelled with Happy. Did he really believe that? How many times had they been in a situation where things had come back to bite them?

"Happy, somehow this is linked to how my mum died. I know it is." She pleaded with him. "Someone's obviously trying to keep the truth quiet."

"It ain't about that Ash." He said sternly and Asher frowned. Hadn't that been what she'd believed the entire time? Isn't that what all this pointed to – someone had killed her mother and now that people were finding out the truth that person was trying to cover it up.

"How do you know? Because it wasn't Mayans that killed her. I talked to Alvarez, he said there was never a hit ordered on my mum. He said if it was a hit it was SOA." She felt like screaming at him. How did he not understand this?

"You spoke to Alvarez?" He growled and she finally saw that anger that she'd been waiting for as his face grew hard.

"Yeah, after I saw you in Stockton."

"Jesus, fuck Asher! Do you fuckin' listen to anything I ever fucking say?" He shouted at her, standing up so he was towering over the table at her. "I told you to stay away from Alvarez and ta leave this shit with your parents alone!" His finger was jabbed at her, but she didn't give a shit. Fuck him and his rules.

"Like you could stop me- I don't know if you realised Hap, but the last year and a bit you've been in jail!" She screamed back, standing up abruptly. She heard the telltale beginnings of one of Peteys cries starting but she was so angry at the man in front of her.

"And I told you to leave it alone so that you didn't get dead while I was in there. Can'tcha see I'm trying to look after you." That's when Asher realised why. Why he'd told her to leave her parents alone.

"You know who killed her." She choked.

"Ash…" He warned, his voice dramatically changing from angry to warning.

"How long have you known." She took his silence as an answer. "You've known for a long time. You've known this _whole _time?" She felt sick.

Son of a bitch!

"Asher, I told you to leave it alone." He growled as they glared at each other over the table.

"What? So that I didn't realise that you've been keeping my mothers murder from me for your damn club?" She snapped back. "I've moved heaven and earth for you Hap, and you still choose your stupid fucking club over me." She would not cry. She wasn't a crier.

"I kept it from you for you, not for the club." He said quietly.

"I don't believe you." How could she believe him after this?

"Well ya should. I am protecting you from yourself."

Oh so that's how it was.

"Because I'm so fucked up? Because I'm unstable? I've handled a lot of shit Happy, finding out who killed my mother would probably only make it better!" She would not give in.

"Yeah, you know what- you are _so _fucked up, it ain't fuckin' funny." Asher felt like he'd punched her in the chest. It was one thing to think it, let alone say it out loud.

"Well you're no psychological picnic either Happy. You're a fucking sociopath. You get off on causing others pain, I don't know why I thought you were different with me." Petey started to bawl loudly as Asher shouted at Happy again and she composed herself to go down the nursery to him.

"Don't fuckin' say that then walk out on me!" He shouted and Asher stopped and turned to look at him.

"I'm taking care of our kid."

"He can wait five minutes." She knew he was right, but she didn't want to look at Happy anymore. "You wanna know the truth?" This made her stop. Above all she wanted to know the truth. She was desperate for it. "Your old man killed your mother. Frank shot her through the windscreen of her car when she tried to leave him. You fuckin' happy? I may be a psycho, but you come from a fuckin' long line of them." He slammed his hand on the table, picking up the duffle at his feet and stormed out. Seconds later Asher heard the Harley start up and pull out of the drive. She would have slumped to the floor crying if it wasn't for the screaming baby down the hall.

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><p>AN: Well what did you think? REVIEW! x


	76. Chapter 76

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Five- Big Man<strong>

_But you came in the middle and you fell in my hands  
>Oh a, wonderful woman and an average man.<br>See that makes me the lucky man  
>I won't be deserving, but I won't be denied<br>See, I fell in this position, I will still teach my kids pride  
>Because failure's a part of it all<br>And if failure don't hurt then failure don't work at all  
><em>_**-Boy and Bear**_

Sarah dialled Juices number again and listened as it rang out _again._ She looked down at the baby asleep in the crib and sighed.

"This was not how I planned on spending the week little brother." She said smiling down at Petey. She'd never really had any affection for kids until she'd heard she was getting a little brother. Petey was the cutest damn kid she'd ever seen. He was the perfect combination of Asher and Happy. He had the trademark Morrow eyes and dark hair that she imagined that Happy had once had. "I had grandeur of parties, boys and a lot of booze." She sighed, but she couldn't justify her words. She didn't mind baby sitting on a Sunday night even if it was so Asher could work some more, which wasn't anything really out of the norm. She had offered to take him for the day tomorrow so Asher could sleep, but the mother wouldn't have a part in it. It was like she was scared to let Petey out of her sight.

"Sarah?" Speak of the devil. Straightening up Sarah turned around as Asher walked into the nursery looking beyond tired. "Hey."

"Hey." Sarah stepped back as Asher walked over and reached into the cot for her son.

"Hello beautiful boy. You keeping your sister out of trouble." Sarah smiled as she watched Asher press a kiss to Peteys cheek and hugging him close to her. "Sorry, I know you had plans. I tried to get home early."

"My plans fell through." Sarah replied, watching Asher sit down in the rocking chair and tried not to think about the numerous unanswered phonecalls she'd made to Juice in the last twelve hours. She knew he'd gone on a run to Arizona, apparently in the opposite direction that Ashers Old man had gone, and had been waiting for him to get back that night so they could hang out. The last time they were together had been after the wedding and she'd had to go back to College the next day. They'd exchanged a few flirty text messages and he'd hacked her facebook account. She'd have to work out how to get him back for the spammed wall she now had.

"What's going on, Sare?" Asher asked, pulling her attention away from Juice. "You thinking about your man?" Sarah rolled her eyes.

"He's not my man."

"You're acting like he's your man." Sarah pulled a face at Asher and Asher just stuck out her tongue. That was real mature for a near thirty year old. "I think you two are cute."

"Well I think you and Happy are cute." Sarah replied and Asher rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Petey. Sarah didn't miss the lack of Happy-related talk these days. There was trouble in paradise as usual, but Asher never talked about their fights with anyone. She kind of admired the respect she had with Happy not to blab. She watched Asher sweep her hand over Peteys head, the black and white gold ring that was ever present on Ashers right hand glinting in the light. "So, you sure you don't want me to baby sit tomorrow?"

"No sweetie, you're on a break. Make the most of it."

"Is something going on Ash?" Sarah asked, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back on the cot. Asher didn't lift her head, just shook it slowly and Sarah got that as a no. "Okay, well I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning." Walking over, Sarah leant down and pressed a kiss to Ashers cheek. "Love you mama."

"Love you too Sare." Asher replied quietly and Sarah felt awful leaving her like that but she knew Asher wouldn't appreciate the fawning. She'd go to bed and maybe try to call Juice again.

She'd just crawled into bed when her phone started buzzing on her bedside table, making her sit up abruptly and see Juices name flashing across the screen.

"Hey." She said quietly when she answered.

"Are you home?" Juice's voice sounded raspy and Sarah furrowed her brow.

"Yeah."

"You mind if I come 'round?" He asked softly and Sarah felt the bristles on her neck rise. Something was wrong.

"Course not." She whispered quietly and heard him sigh.

"Aight, gimme five." Then he hung up and Sarah was left staring at the phone.

"Huh." Climbing off the bed she went back down to the nursery where Asher was sitting in the chair with Petey still. "Ah, Juice is coming around." Asher looked up from Petey and smiled softly.

"Okay."

"No lecture about boys in my room?" She asked, wondering briefly who had taken her foster mother and replaced her with this version.

"Sarah, you're nearly twenty, it would be very hypocritical for me to mention boys in rooms at this point in time." She sighed and Sarah smirked. Yeah, it would considering Asher and Happys track record in the house. "Just keep it quiet if Hap comes home. You know he'll flip."

"Okay." As soon as the word was out of her mouth, she heard a knock at the door and the telltale sound of claws on tiles as Grumpy jumped up from the kitchen, launching into attack mode. "I'll see you in the morning." Asher gave Sarah a small smile and Sarah jogged down the hall. "Grumpy, psych down." She muttered and as if he understood, the pitbull sat back on his haunches and looked up at her expectantly. "Go find Asher." It was seriously like the dog was rolling his eyes at her before he got up and trotted down the hall towards Asher in the nursery. "Weird dog."

Remembering there was someone at the door, Sarah pulled it open to see Juice standing there wearily, his cut covered by a hoodie.

"Hey." His voice sounded as raspy in real life as it had on the phone.

"Come on." Sarah took his hand gently and tugged him inside, closing the door and locking all the locks before leading him quietly down to her room where she shut the door and leant against it as Juice sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and rested his face in his hands. "I tried calling you."

"I know. I had some things…" He rubbed his face and looked up at her. Sarah knew something was wrong, but Asher had taught her one thing- when it came to Sons and information you did not push. "I don't even know why I came here." He sighed and Sarah pushed herself off the door and walked over to stand between his legs. She'd never had to give comfort to anyone before, especially a Son.

"Hey." She swept a hand over his head and he looked up at her with those chocolate brown eyes. "I'm glad you're here, even if you did rape my facebook page." She teased, but failed to get a smile from him. She felt hands on the back of her thighs as he pulled her closer and buried his head in her stomach.

"How do you handle all the shit life throws at you?" he mumbled into her stomach and she shrugged. A lot of the time, she didn't.

"A lot of the time I don't." She whispered honestly. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." He whispered and Sarah stepped back. She didn't know how she felt about this. For some reason she saw no problem in helping Juice with whatever he was going through. She should have been scared about getting involved in something so bad it had Juice shaken. Stepping back she moved around Juice and crawled onto the bed and waited for him to do the same. He leant over and pulled his boots, hoodie and cut off and lay down, letting Sarah shift so she was lying face to face with him. Juice closed his eyes momentarily before opening them and fixing Sarah with his gorgeous gaze. "You grew up with the club right?" He said softly and Sarah shrugged.

"Yeah."

"You woulda seen lots of people come and go." He said quietly.

"Sure." She tried not to let the worry she had etch its way onto her face as Juice took her hand and played with the fingers on her right hand.

"Would we still be like this if I didn't have a cut?" He asked and Sarah jerked back slightly.

_Like this?_

"We'd always be friends Juice." She said, trying not to let her true feelings show through. She knew she was a lot more invested in this than he was, and she was okay with that. He'd never given her any indication it was more than friends, and she was okay with that. There were no illusions between them.

"But we're not friends are we?" he asked quietly and Sarah shrugged.

"We are what we are."

"What'd Asher say when you told her I was here?" He asked changing the subject.

"She's fine with it." She answered honestly. "How was Arizona?"

"Shit." He replied quietly and Sarah gave him a small smile.

"Huffs an asshole." This got a small smile out of him.

"Yeah, he is." Juice pulled her closer to him and rolled on his back so that she was lying half on his chest. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." She lied. "You know you can tell me anything right?" She said quietly. "And cut or no cut, you're still Juan Carlos to me." She felt him stiffen, but decided better than to make a deal of it.

* * *

><p>Asher woke up with a crick in her neck and an ache in her back. She looked around and realised she was curled up in the rocking chair in the nursery. Again. Petey was quietly sleeping in the cot and she sighed, rolling her head around on her shoulders jerking suddenly when she realised someone was watching her.<p>

"Jesus." She gasped, realising it was Happy leaning against the doorway. She hadn't seen him for days, not since he'd walked out. He didn't say anything, just watched her as she straightened up in the chair and tried to ease the pain out of her back. "What time is it?"

"Three in the morning." He replied but Asher didn't get out of the chair. She'd only been asleep for a few hours. No wonder she was so damn tired. She didn't like the idea of curling up in an empty bed when things were so tense between her and Happy. "How many nights you sleep in here?" He asked and Asher shrugged. In the two days he'd been gone she hadn't even processed the information he'd given her, all she could think of was the hurtful things they'd said to each other. "Wasn't sure you were still gunna be here." He admitted after a minute of silence.

"I wouldn't take your son away from you like that." Asher replied. She would never, no matter how much he had hurt her, try to take his son away from him because she knew that would kill him. He'd grown to love Petey so much. "Even if you are an asshole." She added for good measure.

"You wanted the truth." He countered and she sighed. Yeah, she'd pushed and pushed until she got what she wanted to know. Things had certainly changed in the last fourteen months.

"How did you know Hap?" She asked quietly, remembering his words from their fight. Her father had killed her mother out of selfishness. Typical fucking Hayden.

"Bout your parents?" She nodded. He sighed and she knew he hated getting into things like this, but reached into his cut and pulled out a piece of paper. It was the first time he'd ever pulled it out in front of her.

So he did keep it in his cut.

"When Frank gave me this." He held the letter up in front of him, "he warned me off ya. Said I was only gunna kill ya." He said quietly and Asher swallowed the lump in her throat. "Tell ya what girl, the last coupla days I've been fucking thinkin' about it." Asher sighed and leaned back in the chair and stared at the man in front of her.

This man who'd looked after her for the last twelve years. The father of her baby, the man that had put his life and his reputation on the line for her. And now she was wondering if this little bit of information was enough to break them.

"You walked out on me Hap." She said quietly. "You called me fucked up and then you walked out on me. Sorry if I'm not in the mood for your egotistical threats right now." She sighed again and stood up, walking past him, careful not to touch him as she flicked off the light and walked down the hall.

* * *

><p>Happy had to rein in his anger as he watched Asher head towards the kitchen. He knew what she was doing. Smart bitch knew a fight was inevitable, she was just making sure it was out of earshot of her children.<p>

"Asher." He growled, heading after her and coming to a stop in front of her in the kitchen. Her smell invaded his senses as she stood in front of him, the smell of her shampoo and her perfume, something intoxicating he'd grown to crave over the years. It almost wavered the anger burning through his veins. He sighed and closed his eyes trying not to lash out.

This woman drove him crazy.

She'd put herself in a dangerous position. Since he'd been to Tacoma last he'd been able to ignore the fact that she might be in danger. He'd had Collie keeping an eye out for her, but when she'd so blatantly gone out of her way to put herself in danger after he'd told her not to, he couldn't help getting angry. The whole trip he'd envisioned her gruesome death, like her mothers except at his own hands, or at Bowies, or by her own. It didn't matter, once he saw her death he saw his life after that. A hopeless father, a baby to look after. After they'd made the silent promise to each other that Petey would not see the life that either of them had had, he would end up growing up with a killer of a father. Happy knew in reality, he would end up like Frank. He would drink, kill, become an absent father and miss all the important parts.

Didn't she get that? He couldn't live without her. If something happened, he would crumble and the kid would be fucked.

"Ya know I didn't mean it." He coughed and saw her wince. He meant it, he just hadn't meant to say it out loud. The part about being fucked up, or the part about her being from a long line of psycho's like Frank and Clay. He had said them in his head a thousand times but made sure he never uttered them out loud.

"Yeah you did." She said quietly and he felt something clutch at his chest as she looked up at him with those damn pretty eyes. "Its okay, I just wish you hadn't walked out."

"I had to go on a run." He said. He hadn't left for good.

"You didn't call." She replied quietly and ducked her head so he couldn't see the pain on her face before she took a deep breath and looked up at him. "It fucking hurt that you took off and fucked whatever fucking bitch you could find, while I sat here with your kid."

_Shit._

"Ya think I went looking for pussy as soon as I was gone?" He snapped back and he saw the girls jaw clench. Yeah, of course she did. Because that was him. He'd made her a promise, a fucking long time ago, but he had kept it. Besides, Sarah had made a good point to him once. Why fuck sweetbutts when the girl he had at home was ten times better?

He felt like he was being dragged over hot coals, but he did it anyway.

"Asher, fuckin' some other bitch don't sit well with me. Ya know that." Besides that wasn't what this was about. "The shit you've been digging up could get you killed. Use your fucking brain for once. Who the fucks going to look after Sarah and Petey? What about me?" He asked, his voice loud as he watched the blonde bitch glare at him, it only softening when he stopped talking.

"It hurts doesn't it?" She said quietly and he furrowed his brow. "That fear of being alone. Losing someone because they don't consider others." her face hardened and she scowled at him, before uttering the words. "Now you know how I feel constantly."

"I know what I'm doing." He snapped back. "You have no idea what you're getting into. You were lyin' to everyone. You should have at least fuckin' told me."

"What was I supposed to say Hap? _So, Pete left me a cryptic note saying he was killed by a patch and I'm pretty sure they're trying to frame one of us for murder?_ " She asked, her voice loud.

"Yeah, something like that."

"You were in jail with Clay, Hap. If you found out- he'd kill you."

_What? _

"Clays a brother."

"Clays a killer, Happy. Like you said – I come from a long line of psycho's and Clays one of them. I couldn't risk you or Petey or Sarah." She choked. "Clay would kill you. Just to protect himself."

"I told you it was Bowie." He said back, kind of stunned that she was accusing his president of killing all those people.

"And I told you someone was pulling the strings Hap. It was Clay. It's always been Clay." Happy shook his head. He knew Clay had made threats to Asher- swinging his weight around to make sure Asher kept her mouth shut- but killing all those people? Clay wouldn't do that. He was smart. Besides, the gun, if found would frame Asher or Happy. It was a toss up. "He knows everything about us, and he's obviously desperate."

Happy had a flashback to Bowies last words.

_Only one more to go_

"Shit."

"What is it?"

"Who else knows?" He asked and Asher shrugged.

"They're all dead." She said quietly.

"Think Asher, there's someone else- who else knows all this shit you found out?" She looked hesitant.

"Collie was the first person I went to. He'd been doing some digging for Pete." She said quietly and Happy swore internally. This one was on him.

Turning on his heel he quickly headed for the front door and out to the porch, looking out across the street. Sure enough, the blue Monaro was missing.

"Fuck!"

"What is it?" Ashers voice was behind him and he turned to look at her.

"Have you got a number for Collie?" She shook her head.

"He always called on a pre pay." How was he to break the news to his girl that it was his fault that Collie was probably dead? "What's going on?" He closed the door again, stepping into the house. He had to tell her the truth.

"When I was in Tacoma yesterday, I told a couple of the boys that Collie was keeping an eye on you." He said quietly and saw Ashers brow furrow. "You said he had taken off. He was worried about something in Tacoma right?"

"What do you mean he was here?" She gasped.

"Answer the fucking question Asher!"

"He thought whoever went after Pete was going after him." She said quickly. "He took off just after Petes funeral. Happy…" He turned to look at her face, which was worried. Back before he'd gone away she'd looked like that constantly since she'd come to Charming. Worried something bad was going to happen. And it was.

He reached over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest, despite the fight and everything else.

"I'm sorry baby girl." He said in to her hair and she shuddered against him, knowing what he was talking about without having to say it.

Collie was dead.

* * *

><p>"Its gone quiet." Juice said quietly as he lay in the bed with Sarah, his arms wrapped tightly around the brunette.<p>

"They're either fucking or one of thems left." Sarah said quietly, but he could hear the fear in her voice.

"You worried?"

"No." She said quickly and he knew it was a lie.

"You can tell me you know." He said quietly into her glossy hair, inhaling the smell of it so close to his nose. She answered by rolling over in his arms and looking up at him. "I mean it." He said when he could feel her questioning eyes on his face.

"Sometimes I just worry that all the love they have for each other and me and Petey won't be enough to keep them together." She admitted and he felt a pang in his heart for the girl in his arms. She had two healthy biological parents, yet the ones she cared the most about were two very obviously unstable individuals. He'd known Happy since he was a prospect, he knew how the older man worked. And well…the muffled fight they'd overheard was mostly instigated by the blonde. But obviously Asher and Happy connected on some level that no one really got- because he certainly didn't. He'd always figured Sarah understood, but now as she lay quietly in his arms he knew that wasn't the case. She knew more than most, but she was still uncertain about the pairing.

He made a silent promise that he would protect her, whatever the fallout of their deal with Romero and the Galindo cartel was. He stiffened at the reminder about the cops knowing about his absentee father. It was what had brought him to Sarahs house in the first place, like the night of the wedding, there was only one person he could seek solace in, even if it meant just lying there holding her as she slept. There was so much more between them then friends. From the moment he'd seen her in the street he'd been insanely besotted with her. Sure they didn't have the past or the intenseness that Asher and Happy had, but he could look out for Sarah. He'd protect her, even when his patch was stripped and he had blackened the ink.

He didn't notice his hand had started to drift down to her hip until she jerked and he heard her mutter 'no' in her sleep and he quickly put it back on his other arm wrapped around her middle.

But if he was kicked out, he'd be making her choose. Happy wasn't going to let it be if he got caught and there was not a chance in hell he'd ever get Sarah without making her leave Asher. And he couldn't do that to her. He couldn't hurt her, not after all the shit she'd been through.

He had to walk away, now, just to be safe. After everything was done and buried, he'd come back for her. But until then…he just needed to hold her. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and let himself drift off for a little bit longer.

* * *

><p>Happy woke up warm, but feeling like he didn't fit in the bed. Lifting his hand he ran his hand over the weight on his chest. He jerked his head up and snapped open his eyes when he realised it wasn't Asher on his chest. Grumpy was looking back at him, woken up by the movement as the damn pitbull lay out along his body on the couch.<p>

The dog made a low growling sound and lay his head back down on Happys chest as Happy heard the clattering of something on the floor and turned his head to see Petey sitting on the carpet, throwing building blocks at the couch.

Happy took a moment to watch his son for a minute as Petey giggled everytime a block would hit the ground and slap his hands on the floor. Despite the fact that the kid had dark hair, he could pick out the features that were all Asher. Full lips and ivory skin and long lashes were Petey's mothers traits.

"Heya kid." He growled, watching as Petey looked up at him, his mouth gaping open before turning into a full blown smile. So the kid smiled, he wasn't all Asher. "Get off dog." He pushed Grumpy off him and the dog growled lowly before jumping onto the floor and lying back down next to Petey. Sitting up, Happy eyed the dog and the child warily. Asher really just let the dog hang out with the kid? "Come here buddy." Not dwelling on Ashers mothering techniques, he reached out for Petey and picked him up, standing as he went. Happy could smell the banana on the kids face and there was dribble on his shirt but as he grabbed onto his fathers hoodie, Happy was pulled into his sons eyes. Eyes that had never seen the death and destruction that his mother, father and older sister had seen. He was the most innocent thing Happy had ever had the liberty of knowing. He had to keep it like that until he was at least forty.

"Hey." He lifted his head and saw Asher standing in the doorway. Obviously showered, her hair hang wet around her shoulders. "Did he wake you up?" She asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Nah, your dog did." He replied, looking down at the dog pointedly but Asher just shrugged. Last thing he remembered in the early hours of the morning was sitting with Asher on the couch in silence as his mind worked over all the things he had learnt in the last couple of days. "I'll take him outside." Happy handed Petey over to Asher, and before pulling away he leant down and pressed a kiss to his girls lips, his hand on her throat and his thumb on her pulse point.

"Just let him out the back." Asher replied breathlessly.

"Nah. Where's ya leash?" She sighed and shifted Petey on her hip.

"By the back door." He nodded and picked the leash and his boots up and headed towards the front door, seeing his Old Lady watch on with amusement but he ignored her, instead whistling to the dog and heading out the door.

Once his boots were on, his hoodie zipped up and Grumpy tugging on the leash, Happy shuffled a cigarette out of his packet and stuck it between his lips and lit it. Inhaling deeply he relished the first nicotine hit of the day as the sun was starting to move up from the horizon.

Kozik and Miles were heading back from Tacoma today. He was meant to stay with them, but Koz had told him to fuck off home after almost twenty-four hours of putting up with Happys shit mood. He'd relished the road where he could clear his head and get himself ready for the fight that was waiting for him at home.

Looking out over the bare front yard, he saw the blue Monaro still hadn't made a reappearance and felt sick. If his instincts were right, Collie was dead. Turning his head the other way, he saw the woman next door watering her garden as she too smoked on a cigarette. He stepped down off the porch and headed in her direction, Grumpy pulling on the leash.

He saw her head lift up as he approached and put a wary smile on her face.

"Welcome back." She rasped as she pulled the cigarette from her mouth.

Fourteen months ago, he'd noticed the old bitch kept a keen eye on all the houses in the neighbourhood and after managing to convince her not to call the cops when he approached, he had given her Koziks number and told her if she ever heard or saw anything happen at his house, to call that number. As wary as she'd been in the beginning, once she realised Happy just wanted to protect his girl she was more than willing to do what he asked.

"Thanks. You see that blue Monaro that was parked over there the other day?" He asked, gesturing to the part of the street where Collie had been parked. The woman pursed her lips and nodded.

"Yes, it was here until yesterday morning, when your girl went to work." She said before shrugging, "haven't seen it since."

"Yeah, thanks." Then because Ashers paranoia had rubbed on him slightly he pulled out a pen and paper from the inside of his cut and wrote his number down on it. "This is my number, if _anything_ happens you're worried about- call it."

"Who needs neighbourhood watch when you've got a Son." The woman said sarcastically, but Happy just ignored her and continued down the street, pulling his cell out and dialling Lorca.

"It's fucking early Happy." Lorca growled down the line and Happy could hear Bella in the background barking orders at her husband. "Problem with the truck?"

"Nah, just wanted to give ya a heads up." He heard shuffling and Lorca told Bella to shut it before the SAMTAC president spoke into the phone again.

"About what?"

"Pretty sure Collies dead." He muttered down the line and heard a sharp intake on the other end of the line.

"What?"

"It's not just Bowie, Lorc. Someone else is calling the shots." He wondered if he should tell Lorca what Asher had said. Truth was Lorca hadn't seen eye to eye with Clay for a long time. Maybe he was someone that could put things in perspective. "Asher thinks its Clay." Grumpy stopped to sniff at a gnome in someones garden and Happy jerked him back on track and back along the footpath.

"Shit Hap." That meant there was a very real chance that Clay was pulling the strings with someone in SAMTAC. "I'm gunna head down to the clubhouse and shift the gun back to my house safe. Try to find Collie- even if it's just his body. I dunno- get Asher to put a Missing Persons out on him or something." Happy nodded. This is what he needed- orders. That way he could think rationally.

"Aight."

"If that gun didn't have such a big fuckin' scratch on it, I'd leave a fake in the safe and see who ends up with it." Happy could hear the wheels turning in Lorcas head.

"What scratch?" Happy asked. The nine he'd used in killing Reg Thomson was practically brand new.

"The one in the butt."

"Lorca, that gun was brand new." Yeah, he already knew where this was heading.

"Fuck me!" Lorca bellowed and Happy tried to keep his cool. "When I find this Son of a bitch I'm gunna fucking kill him for turning me so goddamn grey!" Lorca practically screamed. "Aight. I'm gunna find the real one. I'll get back to you." Then Lorca hung up and Happy put the phone in his jeans pocket.

Was this ever going to end?

* * *

><p>AN: Review...please


	77. Chapter 77

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary:**She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the reviews- **murphstheman, Erin and NoleGirl0620** and all those that signed in and I hopefully replied to. Great feedback. So I originally had this chapter split into two but I think we're dragging it out a bit so I thought I'd stick them together. This will be the last chapter that follows Season 4 and I'm sorry if the outcome upsets anyone but it's pretty AU from now on. Anyways I hope you enjoy it!

Also got a new song for Asher and Happy - "One More Night" by Maroon Five. Saw the film clip and it was instant love. Anyways enjoy! x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Six – - Cigarettes<strong>

_Dark clouds scream towards his door  
>A house of cards that can't stand in a storm<br>Wind picks up  
>Sunshine stops<br>World fell down with the very first drop  
>-<em>_**Illy**_

Asher watched out the curtain as Happy walked down the porch and down the street. He surprised her by stopping to talk to the nosy old bitch next door, before handing her a piece of paper and walking off with Grumpy. It was so strange to see the Tacoma Killer out walking the dog early on a Monday morning.

After everything that had happened last night, she just leant her head against the window and watched Happy until she couldn't see him anymore. She hadn't slept all night. Even as Happy had fallen asleep next to her on the couch, she couldn't turn her mind off as she thought about all the people that had died in the last two years. Pete, Bill and now Collie. If she'd just given up the hunt for information about her parents none of them would be dead. They'd all be perfectly healthy and alive.

She sighed and shook her head. No that wasn't true. All three of them had started searching for answers before Asher had known anything about it. She'd just been the catalyst. The one to speed the whole thing up because she'd been so desperate to know the truth. She couldn't even bring herself to cry because she felt so guilty about the whole thing.

"Hey." Swivelling her head around she saw Sarah in the doorway.

"Morning."

"Thanks for sneaking Juice out." Asher shrugged. She'd managed to get the younger Son out of the house without Happy stirring on the couch. She knew they'd heard the fight when she saw the way Juice was watching her and asked her how she was.

"Guess you heard our fight last night?"

"I'm used to it." Sarah shrugged, giving Asher a small smile.

"It doesn't mean anything – you know that right? Happy and I have always fought; it doesn't mean we're going to stop being a family." She added just for good measure and Sarah walked over and took Petey from her.

"Go back to bed Asher. I'll let Happy know where you are when he gets back." Sarah ordered. "You look like shit."

"Thanks Sarah."

"Go." Sarah growled and Asher rolled her eyes before heading back down to her room. The bed hadn't been slept in for two nights and as she crawled onto it, she was thankful for the soft comforter and pillows, falling heavily into it and closing her eyes.

She was jolted awake when she felt the covers being lifted up and she rolled over to see Happy, naked and climbing into bed with her.

"Hmm." She sighed, reaching out for him and he chuckled slightly running a hand down her side until he cupped her hip and pulled her into him.

"Go back to sleep, girl." He growled, but as his hand drifted down her thigh and the smell of soap on his skin made her want to do anything but sleep.

"I don't want to." She muttered, lifted her leg over his hip and pulling him so they were flush against each other. "I just need…" She needed him. They hadn't had a chance to be together in days. His lips came down on her straight away and she arched up into him. Yeah that's what she needed.

* * *

><p>It was later in the afternoon when Asher walked into the redone Charming PD. She hadn't been in the there since she was a teenager back when she'd visited with her grandmother when Clay had gone away for the third time. People bustling around and phones ringing made it seem so unlike the calm outside in the streets.<p>

"Can I help you?" Asher turned her head to see the lady looking over the front desk at her expectantly and Asher gave her a small smile.

"I was wondering if I could see Lieutenant Roosevelt." She asked and the woman smiled before standing up.

"Come this way." Asher followed the lady who obviously wasn't worried about leaving the desk unattended. Glancing around the bustling office she could see a man typing numbers into a keypad beside a heavy looking door. That looked important. "He won't mind if you wait inside." She said gesturing to the desk and Asher smiled her thanks as the woman disappeared back to the front desk as Asher stood in the doorway and looked around the office then back out into the station.

Her eyes went immediately to the locked door again. She'd seen a similar one in the Tacoma Sheriffs department. From her observations in her brief visits to the station, locked doors were usually Federal offices. She wondered why there was one in Charming. Then remembered that people like Happy were the reason. Sons and the like were a stones throw in Charming, why wouldn't there be a Federal office. Last she'd heard though, there was no Feds in town. Surely they'd know.

As if hearing her thoughts, a man stepped out of the door, wearing a brown leather jacket. He looked like a Jesus impersonator. A beard and long hair. Very un-fed like. But when he lay eyes on her and cocked his head to the side she felt her instincts scream at her. She saw his lip twitch before her turned away from her and Asher stepped back into the doorway of the office a bit to watch him walk out the front of the building. She was about to go and sit in the office when she saw Roosevelt appear from the back of the station, pushing a cutless Juice along in front of him. Before she could duck out of sight, Juice spotted her, a look of horror on his face before he quickly replaced it with a blank mask and dropped his head as they passed.

"Miss Hayden, I'll be with you in a moment." Roosevelt said as he passed and Asher gave a small smile as she watched the Son and the Lieutenant walk away.

_What the hell? _

She made a mental note to ask Happy about it when she got home before going in and sitting down in the chair and waited for Roosevelt to return.

She was envisioning being curled up in bed with Happy where she'd been up until an hour ago when Roosevelt returned.

"Miss Hayden-"

"Asher." He smiled and came around to sit behind his desk.

"Right, Asher." Asher assessed the man in front of her. He didn't give any indication that he'd done a background check on her. "What can I do for you today?"

This had been Happys idea. Or Lorcas apparently. With the shit happening with the gun and everything, digging into Collies whereabouts would only end badly, so Lorca had suggested getting the cops involved. A missing persons report might be enough to get word out, and if it was Son related, they would deal with it when that happened. Happy felt like he owed Collie at least this for finding her all those years ago, and frankly, Asher didn't have the time or the energy to try and find her possibly murdered ex-stalker and friend.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm probably exaggerating, but you said…" She gestured with her hand and he nodded.

"Sure, sure. What's on your mind?"

"One of my friends has gone missing." This was where it got tricky. "He was a PI and he was on a job, until yesterday afternoon when he never checked in." She gave him a sad smile. She didn't have to fake this. She already feared the worst. "I'm really worried that somethings happened to him."

"Okay, well, I'll get you to fill out a report. And I'll file it. You know that we won't start searching until it's been forty-eight hours." Asher nodded, biting her lip.

"I know." Roosevelt leant forward on the table and sighed.

"Look, Asher, I'll try my best. Considering the nature, I might be able to get an APB out on his vehicle." Asher nodded.

"Thank you." He gave her a small smile.

"I'm glad that you came to me with this." Yeah, she was too. If Bill Haydens death had given her anything, at least it was an in with Sheriffs Department.

* * *

><p>"Hmm." Asher woke up warm and comfortable. She could feel a hot breath on her neck and turned her head to see Happy lying beside her, most of his body draped over her. It had been the best twenty-four hours she'd had in awhile. She'd had her man all to herself. Sarah had taken Petey to Tara's for the day to spend time with his cousins and the Spanish babysitter who Sarah got along well with, so besides the trip down to the Police station, Asher and Happy had spent the day in a pleasant haze of sleep and sex. When Sarah had come home, Asher had finally emerged from the bed for food, dying to see her baby after a whole day without him.<p>

Now as she lay beneath Happy and the sunlight started to pour through the blinds she felt rested and sated. Asher groaned when she heard the cell phone on the bedside table go off. Happy groaned beside her and she rolled over, snatching it off the table and looking at the caller ID.

"Cousin Jackson." She sighed, tossing the phone on Happys bare chest and lying back down at his side, getting enveloped by a large arm while Happy flipped open the cell and held it to his ear.

"What?" Asher smirked as he pulled her closer into his side and listened to the voice on the other end. "Yeah I'll be there." He flipped the phone shut and lifted his head to look down at her. "Sorry Ash." He groaned and sat up, letting her fall onto the mattress.

"I'm not even going to start." She sighed, throwing her arm over her eyes as he shifted around the room.

"Good."

"I'll leave some dinner out for you." She said and felt the bed dip again.

"You stay right where you are, hooker, I'll be back." She smirked at his words and lifted her arm off her eyes to look at him leaning over her.

"Promise?"

He pressed a hard kiss to her lips and walked over to pull on yesterday's jeans and find a clean shirt and hoodie. She watched him as he dressed, smiling as she remembered all the things he'd done to her the day before. "What?" He asked when he turned around and she just shrugged.

"Just admiring the view." He ripped the doona up making Asher squeal and curl her legs up.

"Me too."

"Asshole!" Asher called after him as he went out the door. Sighing she climbed out of bed and headed for the shower, coming back as her phone started to ring. Looking down at the screen she saw Gemmas name flash across the screen. "Shit." She'd have to deal with the Queen eventually. "Hello?" She answered.

"Come down to the clubhouse- I need to talk to you."

"You can't come here?" Asher sighed.

"Do I sound like I'm compromising?" Sighing Asher reasoned that: no she didn't sound like she was up for a compromise. "Half an hour." Asher nodded as the phone clicked and she was left listening to nothing.

"Nice Gemma." Dressing in jeans and a button up shirt, Asher headed down the hall to the nursery seeing Petey was awake and waving his arms around. "Good morning gorgeous boy! Would you like to go and see Gem?" She asked and lifted him up out of the cot. "Course you don't do you sweetheart."

"Hey, did I hear Hap leave?" Asher heard Sarah in the doorway and turned around to face her daughter who was still wearing her pyjama bottoms and one of Ashers tanks.

"Yeah something with the club." Sarah nodded. "How're you and Juice going?" This got a small smile out of the girl.

"Good, we're sorting shit out."

"Good, he seems like a nice guy." Asher mused. So unlike her own Old Man. Sarah seemed to realise was Asher was getting at.

"Yeah, I really like him." Asher couldn't help the grin at the lovestruck look on her daughters face. She was really happy that Juice was so good for her even if he was the part owner of a weed shop.

"I've gotta go and see Gemma, are you coming?" Asher asked and Sarah wrinkled her nose.

"No, I'll pass."

"And you're the one that actually likes Gemma."

"I don't like that guy with the missing fingers. Dude creeps me out." Asher chuckled, muffling her giggles by pressing a kiss to Peteys head.

"Alright, well I'm going to feed Petey and go."

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Asher parked the Camaro and retrieved Petey from the capsule in the back before striding up towards the clubhouse. There was a few hang arounds sitting at the picnic benches, each who greeted her with a smile and Asher smiled back before walking into the clubhouse, stopping when a blonde girl pushed past her and out the door.<p>

"What the fuck!" Asher yelled as she was thrown into the doorway and the blonde headed for the white Lexus in the lot. Asher didn't miss the number plate.

The cum diva had struck again.

Walking into the clubhouse, Asher looked around at the scene in front of her.

"Hey Asher." Tara was holding baby Thomas close to her chest and Piney was looking shell shocked as he stared at the doorway.

"Glad you're here, come to the office with me." Gemma appeared from nowhere and headed out the door. Asher gave Tara an apologetic smile and followed the Queen. "Could have used you and your bad ass attitude ten minutes ago." Gemma said as she strode out and Asher rolled her eyes.

"What was the cum diva doing here?" She asked as she held Petey closer to her.

"Causing trouble." They stepped into the office and Asher watched as Gemma closed the door behind them before coming around to stand in front of Asher, her hands on her hips. "Where are the letters?" Asher frowned at the change in subject.

"Huh?"

"The original letters. I wracked my brain trying to work out who would have them if Tara hid them, and realised it had to be you."

_Letters_

_Letters_

_Letters. _

"Oh shit." The letters from John Teller to Maureen Ashby. The ones that Asher had told Tara to get rid of ages ago.

"Yeah, _oh shit_." Gemma said sternly, "I thought we had a deal."

"We did…we do. I told her to get rid of them Gemma." Asher insisted. The last thing she wanted to do was dig all that past up.

"So you knew about them?" Asher sighed and sat down on the futon that was in the office, putting Petey down beside her.

"Yeah she told me a few months ago. I told her to destroy them Gemma."

"Well Clay knows. He's going on a rampage until he finds them." Gemma informed her and Asher felt her whole body fill with more dread. If it was even possible.

"You need to tell him I don't know anything Gemma." She insisted and Gemma seemed to consider her for a minute before nodding.

"I will. But if I find out…"

"Gemma." Asher cut her off. "I would do anything to protect my family. If that means ignoring the fact that Clay killed JT, then I'll do it." Gemma pursed her lips, like she usually did when she was considering killing someone but sighed and threw up her hands in defeat as the sound of bikes entering the lot interrupted them.

"I'll tell Clay. You talk to Tara, make sure she understands the risks." Asher nodded watching Gemma leave the office and head across the lot towards the people that had returned. She picked up Petey and made her way out into the lot, making her getaway.

"What're you doing here?" Clays voice called out and Asher turned around to face him. "Your old mans not here." Asher saw him glance at the baby in her arms.

"I know, I came to see Gemma."

"About what?" He was awfully nosy. Wondering if Gemma had given her a heads up maybe?

"Womens business." She replied vaguely. "You know, childbirth, cycles, the norm." She shrugged for emphasis.

"You and Tara seem pretty tight." He ignored her attitude and Asher just nodded. "Good, good."

"I'm going to go." Asher jerked her thumb over her shoulder as she saw Tara and Jax walk out, making her quick getaway before Clay could say anything else.

* * *

><p>No sign of Happy wasn't what put Asher on edge. It was the fact that when he did message her it was to tell her Juice had been shot and Miles was dead. She glanced over at Sarah in the passenger seat of the Camaro who was the picture of cool calm. She'd grown up with this kind of thing. Boys getting shot and stitched up by a club doctor was nothing out of the norm. Not for Sarah anyway. For Asher the last time she'd been in the room when someone had been shot was Pete.<p>

Glancing over her shoulder at the sleeping baby in the back seat she took a deep breath and pulled the car into Taras drive behind the Subaru.

"You okay?" She asked Sarah who shrugged.

"Its just a flesh wound you said." Yeah, it was. Unlike Miles who in Happys words was very dead. Asher smiled for reassurance and climbed out of the car, going around and getting Petey while Sarah waited patiently for her. Together they made their way up to the house and through the unlocked door. Chibs had heard them coming and met them at the door, nodding before he led them into the kitchen where Tara was working quietly.

"Hey." Tara gave them a smile and Asher held up the bag of stuff Tara had called her for as Sarah walked around to Juice.

"Take her home Asher." Juice said loudly, and Asher paused from unpacking her bag, seeing Sarah stop midstride on her way to the biker.

"What?" Sarah spat and Asher looked pointedly at the stupid boy on the table.

"I don't want her here. Take her home Asher." Juice said again and Asher could see Sarahs eyes start to well up with tears.

"Here, baby, take Petey out to the car." Asher held the baby out to his sister and watched as Sarah composed herself enough to take Petey and head out the door, Chibs following.

"What the hell was that about?" Asher snapped as soon as Sarah was out of earshot.

"I don't want her here Asher." He bit out and Asher felt like slapping the boy stupid.

"I've got to get some clean gloves." Tara made her getaway as well and Asher moved around to stand in front of the boy.

"Do you know what that girls been through?" Asher snapped. "It took her so much courage to let you in, and then you do this to her?"

"I'm trying to protect her." Juice replied and Asher gritted her teeth.

"That's bullshit!" She yelled at him. "You're bailing on her because you're scared. Fucking grow a pair." Then she stormed out.

Sarah was sitting in the front seat of the car, staring blankly out the windscreen.

"He's just looking out for you." Asher said as she slid into the car and Sarah nodded. "Doesn't want you to see him cry when Tara stitches him up." Again her daughter nodded. "Sare?" Finally she turned to look at Asher. "Its just his ego. You should have seen Hap when he dislocated his shoulder." She saw a small smile from Sarah.

"Okay." Asher reached over and squeezed her hand, trying to encourage Sarah to believe her.

She was going to let Juice get better, then she was going to kill him. Happy and Kozik could wait in line.

* * *

><p>Asher watched the green Prius pull out of the driveway the next morning. Happy hadn't come home, but she figured he had things to do. Sarah had gotten up that morning and told Asher she had some work to catch up on, and she'd be better off back in Sacramento for the time being. Asher knew it was because of Juice, but she let her go. If Sarah running from this was anyones fault, it was Ashers.<p>

Flipping her phone open Asher stared at the text message that told her Happy wasn't able to get back to the house – he had to go in for a vote. She hadn't seen him in two days. She'd given the Prospect a change of clothes when he'd come by, but still no sign of her old man.

A loud knocking on the door made her jump and she sighed, picking Petey up out of his chair and taking the nine from the kitchen table towards the front door. She slid the gun onto the table under the window and peeked through the curtain.

The familiar navy blue uniform of the Sheriff was standing on her porch. Her fingers let go of the gun and she walked over to the door, pulling it open and looking up at Sheriff Roosevelt.

"Good morning." He said, shooting her a grin and Asher gave him a small smile. "Was just doing my rounds and thought I'd let you know that we've found the car that Colin was driving – the blue Monaro." Asher sighed, propping Petey up further on her hip. "Found it out by the lake, no sign of a struggle or your friend."

"Thank you." She'd have to tell Happy.

"There's still a very good chance that he's alive Asher." Roosevelt insisted and Asher nodded.

"I know."

"Alright, well thank you for your time." He gave her a small nod and then he left. So Collie was officially missing. Either dead and buried or on the run again. She knew the former was more likely. Flipping open her phone once again she held it to her ear and listened to the ring.

"The cops just came by." Asher said into the phone when Happy finally answered his phone. "They found Collies car."

"Asher, I gotta go to church. I'll call you back." He insisted and Asher sighed.

"I've got to go to work."

"Aight, hey, be careful." He added and Asher nodded even though he couldn't see her "I'll call." and he hung up.

She knew Happy was obviously very busy. He was probably deliberately staying away so he didn't have to explain to her what was going on. Jill would be there in a minute, so she went and changed into her scrubs, putting Petey down to play.

* * *

><p>Getting back into her Camaro, after a shortened shift, Asher stared at the wheel. Her shift had been cut short because a heap of nursing students had come in. Jill was already paid for the day, so she might as well make the most of it. It gave her time to deal with the shit pile that was growing while Clay was preoccupied.<p>

Heading down to the clubhouse, she went looking for Piney. Tara had mentioned that she'd spoken to Piney about the letters that John Teller had written. If anyone could get hold of those letters , it was Piney.

When she pulled in, she was surprised to see crime scene vehicles and cop cars everywhere.

"What the hell?" She muttered before pulling out her cell and trying Happy again.

When he finally answered she couldn't help the way she snapped.

"What the hell happened to the clubhouse?"

"Asher, fuck , I can't talk." He growled and Asher felt like it had been like that since he'd gotten back.

"Can you tell me where Piney is?" There was some shuffling and one of the boys said something before Happy replied.

"He's up at the cabin. You heading up there?" he asked curiously and Asher sighed.

"Yeah. Got some more photos for him." She lied, knowing that Happy would know it, but anyone listening in wouldn't.

"Aight, well take the nine, and your dog." Asher rolled her eyes.

"Okay." She was about to hang up, but said his name. "Be careful, please." Then she hung up.

* * *

><p>After a quick detour home for the dog and the gun, Asher drove out to the cabin. She'd been given the orders to head out there if anything bad ever happened by Gemma last year and had the map in her glove compartment.<p>

Walking up the steps of the cabin, she spoke quietly to Grumpy as she knocked on the door. The door came open slowly and the barrel of a shot gun pointed at her, immediately making the dog jump into defence mode.

"Get him to heel." Piney ordered and Asher smelt a waft of tequila come out from the cabin.

"Sit Grumpy." Asher ordered and the dog sat, his eyes on Pineys every move. "I just came to ask you something, I won't come in." She said when he finally lowered his weapon.

"What do you want?" This was the man, that usually was looking out for her, and now he was pointing a gun at her.

"The letters, do you know where they are?" She asked.

"What letters?" She could tell he was lying and drunk. She wasn't going to get anywhere with him.

"The ones from John Teller, Piney!" She snapped.

"What do you want from them?"

"I want them destroyed." She replied, watching the old man furrow his drunken brow. "They need to be destroyed Piney, if you, or Tara have them."

"I don't have them."

"Well tell Tara, she'll listen to you." She insisted. "Burn them."

"You don't want the truth to get out?" He asked, leaning on the doorway.

"Not like this. Not with you, or Tara or me in the firing line. What happens to our families when Clay goes on a rampage, Piney?" She asked quietly and saw something flicker on the old mans face.

"You're nothing like your mother." He sighed almost regretfully.

"Is that what you wanted? Another version of Molly?" She asked, sick of people comparing her to dead people. "How can I be anything like her when I never knew her! She's dead Piney! Because of Clay!"

"Does Clay know I know about the letters?"

"No, he thinks I have them though." The old man sighed. Yeah, he'd grown a soft spot for her son, she was hoping that was enough to sway him. "Please, just tell Tara to destroy them, before it gets out of control."

* * *

><p>Happy was sitting on a crate having a cigarette when his cell rang. It was probably Asher again, ready to kill him. Once all this shit was over, he was going to make this up to her. He'd made a promise to her, and he was going to keep it, eventually.<p>

Pulling it out of his cut he saw Lorcas number flash across the screen. Sticking the butt of his cigarette back in his mouth, he stepped out into the sunlight through the large shed doors. Clay had left a few hours ago to meet a few Tacoma brothers in town. Kozik was staying up north with Lorca and Bully while they sorted out some shit.

"Yeah?" He answered the phone.

"Hap, we have a problem." Happy sighed heavily.

"Yeah?"

"The guns missing again."

_Jesus Christ, again? _

"Shaun Mitchell says the gun never made it to evidence. The one we've got is a fake." Lorca literally ripped the bandaid off.

"Someone paid someone off?" Happy asked and heard Lorca say something in the background.

"Looks that way." And most of SAMTAC were here in Charming.

"You think the guns here?" he asked, knowing exactly what the President was thinking. It was the same thing Asher had feared.

If the gun crossed state lines and was involved in a shooting, Feds would be involved. That would mean a full investigation into everything. Everything in Asher and Happys lives would be scrutinized. Even if Asher was found innocent for murder, she'd paid to get the reports, she'd stolen evidence.

They were both fucked.

"Look I remember what you said about Collie. The only people in the room were you, me, Koz, Riley and Donut. We've singled out you and Koz, leaves Riley and Donut." Lorca replied. Donut was hard SOA. He'd been patched nearly as long as Happy. He'd had past fights with Kozik, but he and Happy had never had a problem. Happy and Riley were another story though. "I know what you're thinking, brother. Just remember Riley and Asher have past. Before you slit his throat."

Yeah, Asher and Riley had history. He'd been a puppy when it had come to Asher. Had he held a grudge for the last ten years to get back at Asher?

"Aight."

"Kay, I'll keep ya updated." Happy was about to hang up, but heard his name. "Hey, Blues down there, try to keep out of his way okay?" Happy gave the President his promise before flicking the phone shut.

Something tugged in his mind. A clue, but he lost it as Chibs walked towards him, shrugging his shoulders in defeat.

* * *

><p>Asher unlocked the front door and let Grumpy into the house. He was no doubt headed straight for the couch. Jill and Petey would be out for a few more hours, so she dumped her bag on the kitchen table and looked around the house. It was so quiet now that Koz, Sarah, Petey and Happy were all missing.<p>

She could call Sarah, make sure she was okay. Taking a deep breath she decided she'd sit down and read a book. After finding a glass of water, she walked out onto the porch with one of the books Happy had brought from his mothers and sat down pulling her book into her lap and beginning to read. The sound of a bike approaching made her lift her head as the engine died and her Uncle came walking towards the front porch.

"Got yourself a nice set up here." He said, standing on the porch, looking around.

"Thanks." She looked up at her uncles pale blue eyed gaze. "What brings you here?"

"Just thought I'd stop by, check on ya'." He took a seat next to her and looked at the cover of her book. "Make sure you still remember the little chat we had last year."

"You threatening me still stands Uncle Clarence." She said sternly, leaning back and rolling her head to watch her uncle light a cigar from his pocket.

"I don't threaten family."

"Just like you didn't threaten Tara?" She asked, standing up and picking up the book and bottle from the table. "I'd offer you a beer but I get the feeling you _aren't_ staying." She implored with a look and Clay stood up, towering over her, his eyes boring into her head.

"Just cause you're blood doesn't mean I appreciate your back chat." He glowered and Asher remembered Happys words from all those years ago about not backing down to any clubmember.

"Just because you're the president of your bullshit MC doesn't mean I give a shit. I'm a civilian Clay and you don't scare me." She held his gaze with as much courage as she had. He held his cigar between his teeth and snapped a hand around her throat. Asher fought the urge to scream or struggle instead maintaining eye contact with her Uncle and remaining still.

"My bullshit MC has kept you alive all these years girl." He sneered and Asher smirked.

"Go to hell." She felt the smack across her cheek and tasted blood in her mouth at Clays slap.

"Remember who the hell you're talkin' to girl." Asher took the opportunity to get away, running into the house, but she stumbled when he kicked out at her and she fell to the ground. "Where are the letters Asher!"

"What letters?" Asher screamed back.

"You know what letters! Where are they?" He reached into his cut and pulled out a gun. A nine millimetre. Asher swallowed thickly as she flashbacked to that night in the room at the back of Jonesy's bar. When Happy had pulled the gun on Reg Thomson and saved her life.

This was what they meant when they said your whole life flashed before your eyes before you died.

There was no way she'd be able to give him the answers he wanted.

"I don't know." Asher choked.

"That's bullshit!" He was going off the rails.

"You can't kill me, Clay." She mustered all the bravado she had as she tried to remember all the self defence moves she knew. But there was no way she could pull off any of them in this position. Flat on her back, underneath Clays gun. "I've got kids. What will happen to them? Are you going to look them in the eye and tell them you killed their mother?" She asked. She knew it wasn't going to work, but she needed to focus on something. "You can't even look me in the eye and tell me you killed _my_ mother." She spat and saw Clays whole body go rigid. "Yeah, I know all about you getting my own father to kill Molly. All because of your fucking stupid club. And Frank played right into it. Cause he was a jealous prick." She added. "I guess I should be glad that it's not Happy in your position."

"I could have him here." Clay spat.

"Fuck you." Clay hadn't see her lift her leg and she was glad she'd worn her boots as she drove her foot straight into his knee and sent him to the ground. She'd known the move was going to happen and she went bolted, straight towards the back door but she was hit in the back of the head and she went down, rolling over quickly to fight off the blows that were bound to come, but all she heard was a loud bark and the sound of a gunshot.

* * *

><p>Happy sat astride his bike and watched his brothers pull away from the clubhouse. Most of them were going home to their loved ones and he was well on his way as well. He missed his girl. He missed his kid.<p>

_Shit, he was going soft._

"You want to get a drink?" he looked up and saw Blue standing beside him. The old man was looking nearly as grey and grizzled as Piney. Riley and the other SAMTAC boys stood off to the side watching.

"I got some things to deal with at home." He growled and went to put his helmet on but a hand on his arm stopped him.

"Come on, brother, one drink." Happy gritted his teeth but nodded. Blue had been good to him for years. Even if he'd tried to keep him and Asher apart.

"Aight, one drink."

Three drinks later Happy sat at the bar with the Tacoma boys, Blue beside him and Riley all the way down the bar from him.

"I'm sorry about Collie." Blue slurred and Happy nodded. "He was keeping an eye on your girl."

"Yeah." Happy sighed. Collie was a weirdo, but he'd been good to Asher.

"To Collie." Blue held up his glass and Happy held up his glass to toast him when he paused.

Things were starting to come together in his mind when his phone buzzed in his pocket and he reached in to pull it out and flip it open.

"Yeah?"

The words on the other end where the last thing in the world he wanted to hear from his nosy neighbour.

"I just heard gunshots from your house."

* * *

><p>AN: Cliffhanger! Review! x


	78. Chapter 78

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the twenty-or-so reviews! I really appreciated it! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Seven- Dreamshaker <strong>

_Here comes a tale of a man who speaks no words  
>He performs his magical trickery for all those who call<br>He pulls on his golden whiskers and he sits back on his throne  
>And watches as they fight for his powers to call their own<em>

_You got the dream shaker and he will shake the life out of you_  
><em>And don't you dare look into his eyes cause he will throw your dreams back at you!<em>  
><em>-<strong>Redcoats<strong>_

Happy didn't let the outcomes of the situation register as he roared towards his house. He was at least twenty miles over the speed limit, but that feeling, the one that was gripping at his heart was panic, and he was trying to get as far away from it as he could. But no matter how hard he turned the throttle, the harder it squeezed.

He didn't even realise that half his Tacoma brothers had followed him, including Riley, until he pulled into his drive behind the Camaro and saw his neighbour running towards him.

"I was going to go in, but you told me not too!" She shrieked and Happy nodded, pushing past her and drawing his own gun as he sprinted up the porch to the front door. The screen was shut, but he ripped it open and nearly off it's hinges before shoulder barging through the wooden door.

"Asher!" He roared. The possibilities: a backfiring car, a loud tv, had never crossed his mind. Someone had shot at someone in his house. "Asher!" He looked in the living room to no avail, before heading down the hall towards the kitchen, only stopping when he heard a low whine from the dog. "Grumpy!" He barked and the dog barked in reply from down the hall.

He followed the sound and stopped dead in the hall at the sight in front of him.

"Oh my god!" The neighbour had followed him in and he felt her stop beside him.

"Call 911!" He ordered the woman before striding towards the dog who was pacing back in forth of the prone body. Protecting the love of it's life. "Asher!" Happy fell to his knees beside Asher and held his fingers to her neck, keeping his eyes on the oozing hole in her stomach.

He was having a sick sense of déjà vu.

"Come on baby girl." He rasped as he ripped off his hoodie and held it to her stomach. "Shit, shit." He looked around frantically, watching his brothers take in the scene in front of him, a few of them on the phone and realised something was missing. "The kid, someone find the kid!" He bellowed and it was Riley who moved around them and went through each room, checking for anything.

"There's no sign of him." Riley said and Happy looked down at the girl lying on the floor and déjà vu reared it's ugly head. He suddenly felt off balance and would have tipped over if he hadn't braced his hand over her body on the ground and felt the butt of the gun under his hand. He refocussed and picked up the gun.

A nine millimetre.

"What's that?" Shifty was beside him and Happy just stared at the gun in his hand while the other hand held the cloth to Ashers stomach.

"Call Lorca." Happy growled and dropped the gun into Shifty's hand. "Bag that and put it under the sink in the kitchen." Shifty nodded and Happy turned his attention back to Asher. "Come on girl, hold on for me." He growled when he heard the sound of sirens in the background.

"The paramedics are here." He heard his female neighbour said softly and he felt hands on his shoulders and pull him back.

"Let them get her man." When Happy looked up at the voice he saw it was Riley Stevenson that was standing there, holding him in place. Happy just slumped back on his heels and watched the paramedics tend to his Old Lady. When she was on a gurney and being pushed towards the van it was Riley Stevenson that pushed his shoulder slightly. "Go with her man."

Yeah, he had to go with his old lady.

"I'll find the kid." Riley said when Happy turned to look at him. "She needs you Hap." Happy nodded his thanks and headed towards the door after the paramedics and got into the ambulance with them, just blankly staring down at the body on the gurney and the blood on his hands.

* * *

><p>"The baby sitter's got the kid. She turned up at the house just after you left." Riley was the one that approached Happy in the waiting room as the other Sons milled around near the water cooler, serious expressions on their faces. "She's gunna keep him for a few more hours." Happy looked up at the younger man. "I called Sarah, your mum, Madster and Jax. They're all on their way man." Riley leant against one of the chairs and sighed, running his hand over his head. "The cops were busy with the shooting at TM, we managed to keep this off their radar. Don't mean they won't turn up here but the house should be safe."<p>

It struck him strange that in this moment. The one where he felt like his world had been ripped out from under his feet, hell the only time he'd felt like this, it was Riley Stevenson that was standing there in front of him making sure shit was alright.

"Ah…Thanks bro." Happy growled and Riley shrugged, jerking his chin up in a way that Spanner used to.

"How's your girl doing?" It was Happys turned to shrug. She'd crashed in the ambulance and he'd been forced to sit there and watch as they pumped her chest to get her heart to start beating again. Even as they'd begun a blood transfusion he felt like he was stuck in some horrible nightmare.

"No word yet."

"Aight, well I'll get outta your way. Lorc's packin' up as we speak- him and Bully will be here before midnight." He reached out and patted Happys shoulder before heading towards the group of Sons.

"Ah, Mr Lowman?" Happy stood up when the doctor walked out. "You're Miss Haydens partner?" Happy nodded impatiently.

"Yeah, she alright?"

"We've removed three bullets. Two from her abdomen and one from her arm." He sighed heavily, "She was very lucky. Due to the amount of scar tissue on her stomach, the bullet was slowed down and prevented any serious outcomes. However, she did hit her head and there seems to be some serious swelling, so we're keeping her in an induced coma until the swelling goes down."

"But she's gunna be okay?" Happy insisted and the doctor gave him a pained look.

"Cases like this, we can't guarantee anything Mr Lowman." As if he could see the panic rising up in Happys chest the doctor sighed reluctantly. "_But_, if we can monitor the swelling, and help her body heal, she should come out of this with only a few scars."

"Thanks." Happy rasped and the doctor finally gave him a smile.

"Would you like to see her?" Happy nodded. Yeah, he wanted to see her. "Follow me." Happy glanced back at the group of his brothers watching and he gave them a nod before following the doctor towards Ashers room.

He was glad he'd upped the insurance so she could get a private room because she was a mess. She had a split lip and her face was pale. There was a large bandage around her upper arm and the sheets were pulled up under her breasts, tucked in tightly it looked like she wouldn't be able to move. A thick breathing tube was shoved down her throat, helping her breath, and a drip taped to her arm. This wasn't_ his_ Asher. The sound of the heart monitor was the only thing that let him know she was still alive. It was like LA all over again.

"It's late, but I'll see what I can do if you'd like to stay." The doctor said quietly and Happy considered slumping down and watching as she slowly repaired.

But _his _Asher would kill him if he did that. He had to get back to his son, he had to get the son of a bitch that did this to her.

"I gotta go. I'll leave someone to sit outside the door." He growled and the Doctor looked like he was about to protest but decided against it and nodded.

"Okay, the police will probably be by tomorrow to question you." Happy nodded.

"Yeah, thanks." The Doctor nodded and headed out the door and over to the group of Sons where he was met with a series of 'sorry bro''s and 'how is she's.

"She's in some induced coma or some shit. Brain swelling. They pulled out three bullets." This got a chorus of compliments about his girls tough bitch reputation before he looked to Shifty. He was a dodgy looking fucker, but Happy knew he could trust him. "Shifty, sit outside the door, I don't want any fucker in there without my consent." He ordered and Shifty nodded and headed down the hall while he turned back to his other brothers. "Thanks for comin' down boys. I gotta head back to my kid." He said and his SAMTAC brothers nodded before walking with him out the door.

* * *

><p>When he got home, Happy was met with the smell of bleach and the crying of a baby. He walked through the house to see the carpet was soaked, a faint pink stain the only reminder of the few hours earlier. He turned away from it quickly and went into the kitchen where he found his neighbour who's name was apparently Judith, bouncing his son in her arms as the kid screamed his lungs out and the familiar baby sitter standing in front of the microwave.<p>

"Here." He held out his arms and Judith handed over Petey who immediately quietened when Happy lifted him up.

"Why you crying little man?" He asked even though he knew the answer. Petey was missing his mother.

"He hasn't settled at all in the last few hours." He tried to remember the babysitters name as she handed him a bottle and Happy took it, holding it out to Petey. "How's Asher?"

"Not good." Happy replied keeping his focus on his kid.

"Okay, well we better go then." Judith, the neighbour said and smiled softly up at him. "You need anything come by." Happy nodded.

"Yeah ah…thanks for callin' and cleanin' up." Happy jerked his head back towards the hall and Judith smiled softly before walking towards the front door, the younger baby sitter picking up her bag as well.

"I gave him a bath and he's been changed. If you need anything…" Yeah, he'd call, he got it. "See ya." Then the girl was gone too and for the first time, Happy was left completely alone in the house with his baby. He'd never been in the house without Asher except when he'd checked it for renting. He'd never been faced with a night alone in it without her. He suddenly understood how she felt all the time and felt like a fucking asshole.

Petey sucked heavily on his bottle and Happy walked down the hall and put him in the cot, leaning heavily on it as he stared down at his baby. He and Asher had fought over this exact event. Her getting killed and him being left alone to raise Petey. Even though deep down he wasn't sure if he'd handle it, he told himself he had to for the time being and sat down in the rocking chair, leaning back as he listened to Petey sucking on his bottle.

Yeah, they'd get through this. They had to.

* * *

><p>"You worried darling?" Sarah jerked her head up to look into the warm brown eyes of Nora Lowman. She'd heard stories about the woman for years, but never actually met her. It was hard to imagine this woman with the sallow skin and sinking eye sockets was the woman that had raised the Tacoma Killer. Sarah gave her a small smile as they stood in the small kitchen at Ashers house.<p>

They'd both arrived sometime after midnight and Sarah had used her key to get in. They'd found Happy asleep in the rocking chair in the nursery, the same way Sarah had found Asher countless times over the last nine months since Petey was born. Leaving him be, Sarah had let Nora sleep in her room, before getting a few hours sleep on the couch.

However hours of tossing and turning had had them both in the kitchen at six am as they cooked breakfast.

The others would be there soon. Lorca, Bully, Koz and some other SAMTAC brothers. Sarah had no idea how Asher had ended up in hospital with a gunshot wound. The call from her brother last night had not shed any light on the matter at all.

"Asher's a tough girl, she'll pull through this." Nora said and Sarah jerked her head up to face the woman.

"And if she doesn't?"

"She will sweetheart." Nora reached out and touched Sarahs arm. "Happy won't let her go anywhere ." She said quietly and Sarah realised this woman had so much respect for her guardian. "Why don't you go get the baby, sweetheart." Nora said and pushed her away slightly and Sarah nodded, heading down the hall to the nursery, stopping in the doorway where she could see Happy still sitting in the chair.

The Happy she knew would be out slitting throats at this time in the morning for what had happened to his girl. That's what unnerved Sarah. Even if he was being the protective father, Happy would not rest until he found her shooter. Sleeping serenely in the old rocking chair didn't really fit into that picture. It made her wonder if Happy already knew who had done this to Asher. If he was just spending time with his Son before he went on his rampage.

Trying to be as quiet as possible she tiptoed into the nursery, stopping dead when she saw his eyes snap open.

"The fuck you doin' kid?" He growled and Sarah smirked, despite the circumstances.

"Lorca and Bully are on their way." He took a deep breath and forced his huge body out of the chair.

"Aight." He walked over to the cot and looked down at his Son. "You be good little man." He ordered before looking up at Sarah.

"Your mums in the kitchen." He nodded and went to walk out but Sarah called his name. "I got my little bro, I won't let anything happen to him." She promised and gave him a look that she hoped he understood.

_Don't worry about him- get whoever did this to Asher. _

"You might not wanna make that kinda promise kid." He said surprising her and Sarahs eyes widened as he stepped back into the nursery, closing the door behind him. "I was gonna wait, but we'll do this now." He sighed and Sarah knew that any other person in this situation would be freaking out. Happy was still strapped to the nines, no pun intended, and a killer- she was just a girl. But this was how she trusted him.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked.

"I gotta know where you stand with this Sarah." He rasped quietly. "You're either with Asher and _this _family or you're with everyone else. I ain't gunna judge you, but you need to choose your side and you fuckin' stay there." He ordered and Sarah nodded, shocked into silence. When he was sure his message was clear, he turned around and headed towards the door and Sarah finally regained use of speech.

"My earliest memory of feeling safe is in the largest arms as I was carried out of hell." She said bravely. "That's where my loyalties lie Happy, with the people that made me safe." He nodded, he got it.

"I'm gunna get Juice to come and keep an eye on you." He said sternly and Sarah wanted to protest but he gave her a look that said not to fight it. "Don't fight it Sarah. Believe me, it don't fuckin' work." Then he was gone. Happy Lowman had gotten philosophical, or he was just as scared as the rest of them. Scared he was going to lose Asher.

He'd put the fear of god into Juice several times but it seemed he'd had a change of heart recently. Looked like she'd have to deal with Juice herself.

* * *

><p>This wasn't church. This was not a club problem and in this realm, no-one tried to push Happy Lowmans vote.<p>

Lorca got that. Even if he was the one that sat at the head of the dining room table in Ashers house in Charming while Happy sat at the other end, feeding something that looked like vomit into his kids mouth like some domesticated housecat as he talked quietly to Koz who was fawning over the damn kid nearly as much.

"If Pete were here he'd be exactly the same." A soft voice said as his wifes arms slid around his shoulders and he looked up at Bella. "You did good, darlin', those boys…" She whispered, jerking her head towards the men at the end of the table, "are men because of you. A decade ago, you never would have seen Happy looking after his kid." Lorca rubbed a hand over Bellas arm and sighed. Nah, he wasn't the reason for it. The two girls that lived in this house were the reason for it.

Sarah and Asher.

"I'm not so sure about that B." he replied honestly and felt his wifes arms tighten slightly as her lips grazed his ear.

"You brought them to Asher. That makes you part of this. Part of them." Yeah, that much was true. He'd handpicked the likes of Happy for the club, given him the trust to look out for Asher when Clay had asked for Asher to be under strict watch, hell, he'd even given them permission to do what they damn well pleased in the clubhouse, Riley or no Riley.

At the thought of the little blonde punk, Lorca turned his head to see Riley and Sarah sitting, heads pressed together as they whispered. A scene he remembered from years ago before Sarahs attack. The three of them- Riley, Thomas and Sarah had been thick as thieves. It was good to see them talking again, even under the circumstances.

"Where's Blue?" She asked and Lorca didn't reply.

"Aight." He coughed and silence came around the table. "Enough pussy footing around." He felt Bella's arms leave him as she stood up and waved to the women in the room- Sarah and Nora. Take them out of earshot.

"Nah, they stay Bella." Happy said and all eyes turned to him.

"It's okay Hap, we'll-" Bella started but Lorca saw the killer shake his head.

"Sarahs made her choice. Take a seat. All of ya." Lorca looked over his shoulder at his wife who looked surprised, but took a seat at the crowded table. "Floors yours, Prez." Happy gestured with the hand that wasn't holding his kid and Lorca had to smirk.

"You sure _Killer?_"

"Talkin' ain't really my forte." Happy replied and there was a quiet snicker around the table.

"Got that fuckin' right!" Bully bellowed and Koz elbowed him.

"Watch your fuckin' mouth in fronta the women." Another snicker went up and Lorca felt that pride in his boys again.

"Aight, aight children!" Lorca called order. "Think we all know why we're here." He looked around the room. It was a small fraction of SAMTAC, two SAMCRO members, three women and a kid.

The fuckin' kid that all of them would kill for.

"An Old Lady was shot, in her own home, point blank." He stated the facts seeing not one of the people at the table flinch. "And not just any Old Lady." He looked around the room. "Most of us have had a personal connection with Asher at some point. Whether it was as a daughter," he looked at Sarah, "a friend," He looked around at the others, "or more." He glanced at Riley who was watching on intently, "we all got a personal stake in this. Happys Old Lady is an important part of SAMTAC. Hell, a lot of us wouldn't be here without her." He admitted. Happy would probably be dead in some ditch, Sarah wouldn't have survived, Riley would have broken with the loss of his little sister. All of them would be hurt in the collateral.

"Why you givin' us the inspirational speech Prez when we should be out finding and killin' some bitch!" Bully sneered and there were a few agreements but Happy sat stoic.

"Because this is ain't a club move." Lorca said looking around the table. "After this-" he was cut off by a loud knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Bella was up in a second and heading down the hall and they all waited quietly for Bella to get back. And when she did, Jax Teller was with her, along with Donut and Taylor. "Look who turned up." Jax nodded to Lorca before turning his attention to Happy.

"Went to see your girl and found these two lurking outside." He jerked his head towards Taylor and Donut. "You planning on doing this without us bro?" Jax asked and Lorca saw Happys shoulders lifted slightly.

"This ain't the Chapel bro, we're just havin' a discussion." He replied and Jax smirked. _"If_ it happens, it ain't gunna mean shit- patch or no patch- the bitch is dead." He implored and saw Jax nod again. "I ain't Ope."

"I know Bro. Why do ya think we're here?" Jax asked and Happy turned his attention away from the SAMCRO VP.

"You might not like the outcome of this, brother." Lorca took his opportunity to finish this for Happy.

"I know where this is headin' Lorc. I ain't backin' out." He said and Lorca nodded. He'd always liked Jax.

"Then by all means, boys, take a seat." They took a seat and Lorca resumed his speech. "By now most of you know that Bowie was the one that killed Frank and Bill Hayden." He said sternly, "And Spanner." He heard a gasp from the little brunette sitting next to Riley but he ignored it. "Spanner was a good brother – he didn't deserve to go the way he did. He didn't deserve to go at all."

"Hear, hear." Someone said but Lorca kept his gaze on Happy.

"We go after who did this to Spanner and Asher, we're taking down the club." He finally looked around the table. "I understand that some of you won't want a part in it, so this is your chance to back out: Two high up members ordered the hit on Spanner and one of them pulled the trigger on Asher."

"You're fuckin' kidding." It was Koz that spoke and Lorca nodded slowly as he looked around the table his eyes skimming past Jax and seeing Happys gaze on the brunette girl sitting at the table with her brother.

"Anyone wanna back out- do it now." Happy ordered, his eyes never wavering from the girl. Not a single person moved. "Now!" Happy snapped, and again no one moved.

"We ain't going anywhere brother." Koz slapped Happy on the back and the Tacoma Killer made sure he made eye contact with every member at that table.

"I'm in bro, but killin' Clay will bring down hell on us from a lot of deals. The Irish, Galindo…hell, I don't even know if Alvarez will stick with us." Jax said quietly, despite the fact that there were still women in the room.

"He'll stick with us." Happy replied. "He's got a stake in this too." Lorca furrowed his brow. This he wasn't aware of.

"What?" Happy shook his head slowly and shrugged.

"Lotta history with Ashers ma and 'im. Believe me- he's on board with this." Lorca took that as the end of that topic.

"You got Alvarez- you'll keep Galindo." Lorca informed the SAMCRO VP.

"And the irish? I already got the kings kicking me outta the room everytime they want words with Clay." Jax insisted and Lorca shrugged.

"Talk to AJ, he'll get you an in."

"IRA aren't gunna want to deal shit with the mob, Lorc." Jax sighed. "And we're going after his brother here."

"We're going after the son of a bitch that ordered his sister to be killed, that pulled the trigger on Asher. He's gunna be on our side in all of this." Lorca informed the blonde who nodded. "AJ's all good with the IRA, he might be a better dealer than Clay in the long run. At least you can fuckin' trust him."

"I don't know, Bro, Clays gunna see us coming." Jax sighed and Lorca cocked his head to the side.

_Did he really want part of this? _

"Are you just lookin' for an out, Jackson?" Lorca asked.

"I'm just sayin', he's gunna know you're coming for him Lorc." Lorca shrugged. He'd been coming for Clay for years. Happy hadn't been though. Happy had been a Son through and through for the last eighteen years, always choosing the club over Asher. Jax must have seen the look on his face because he turned to look at Happy.

"You gunna be able to follow this through, brother?"

"He shot the mother of my fuckin' kids." Happy replied lowly and they all knew from the tone of his voice that this wasn't a usual kill for Happy. This was fucking personal.

"Think that settles it." A few murmurs of agreement went up and Lorca felt his phone buzzing in his cut and he reached in and pulled it out seeing Shiftys number flash up on the screen. Hitting the send button he held the phone to his ear. "What?"

"_Maddie and AJ Morrow are here. They wanna see Asher, I told them they can't go in." _Lorca caught Happys eye and jerked his head. He could hear Maddie Morrows voice in the background.

"Aight we're on our way."

"What?" Happy asked, already standing up and handing his kid over to Sarah.

"Maddie and AJ just turned up at the hospital." A loud sigh from Jax had the rest of them standing.

"I'll go with Hap, sort this out before Clay gets there." Lorca nodded. The VP was the brains for a reason.

"Thanks Jax. Me and Bull are gunna follow up a few leads. Rest of ya' go help SAMCRO out with the warehouse."

* * *

><p>Happy watched his brothers file out of the house as he pulled a hoodie over his cut and pulled his cell out of his jeans as Sarah, Bella and his mother fussed over the baby. It might have been wrong to keep the three women at the table while they discussed what was going on, but all three of those women were dependent on his old Lady, they deserved to know what had happened.<p>

"Juice is coming by in a minute." Happy said quietly to Sarah as she followed him towards the door after palming Petey off to Bella.

"Thanks Hap." She gave a small smile before she got a look on her face, looking up at him with those wide pale blue eyes. "The other member involved in this…"

"We're dealing with Clay first, then we'll talk about it kid." He was hoping Asher was better by the time that came around though so he could get his girls the fuck out of Charming, away from the aftershock.

"Be careful Hap."

"Yeah, you to kid. Keep Grumpy and Juice inside." He ordered and Sarah nodded.

"Okay." Then he nodded to her and headed out the door to where Jax was sitting on his bike, the rest of them gone.

Happy hadn't had much weigh in the Charming chapter yet. He'd been relied on for the harder jobs. But he didn't have the pull or the influence that Tig or Bobby had. He was a new transfer, hell he was nearly lower on the ranks than Juice. So he knew that if he went after Clay, he'd probably be doing it alone. He didn't expect any of his other brothers to back him up and he was okay with that. He was a little overwhelmed at how many brothers had greeted him in his kitchen that morning. Not that he'd ever admit it.

"We gotta be smart about this Hap. We kill Clay while he's still patched, we're gunna get a shit load of collateral." He said and Happy shrugged. Two days ago they'd been sitting at the table looking for a change in leadership. "We gotta get a vote before we finish this." Happy nodded.

"Yeah."

"I know you think I'm lookin' for an out, Hap. But Asher is family." Happys glare hardened. Yeah, if that's what you called it these days. "I'm in. I just wanna be smart. I don't want to hurt the club." Happy nodded again and pulled his helmet on and threw his leg over his bike and started it, letting Jax lead them out into the street and towards the hospital.

He owed the club nothing.

* * *

><p>Jax walked beside Happy through the hospital corridors. Not a word was spoken between them and Jax was grateful for it. When he'd gotten a call from Koz early this morning, he'd been certain that this would result in Clay. Asher and Clay had a terrible family dynamic. Always talking in hushed whispers and he knew that Asher knew something that she shouldn't have. And Clay was threatened by that.<p>

What he hadn't expected was the determination of Happy to go against the club. He'd blatantly pointed out that he'd do this with or without the club, and in all the years Jax had known the Tacoma Killer, he'd never expected him to choose a girl over it.

But as Happy had said- he wasn't Opie.

Opie had been devastated when Clay had killed Donna. But he'd been determined to stay with the club. Happy had obviously realised he could live without it. And even if he left SAMCRO, by the looks of the table this morning- he had a seat waiting for him in Tacoma by Lorca's side.

"Hey." He stopped his march towards intensive care as Tara walked towards him. "I heard about Asher." Jax nodded as he looked at his Old Lady. If it had been Tara, he would have been on the same rampage as Happy. "Do you know what happened?"

Jax looked at her face. She'd handled everything so well so far. She'd practically demanded full disclosure. The three women at the table this morning had confirmed that this was more than a club matter, it was family matter, and Tara was his family.

"It was Clay." Jax said quietly and watched Tara's eyes widened.

"You sure?"

"Hap said Asher was looking into something and Clay found out." Tara swore under her breath and Jax cocked his head. She obviously knew something. "What?"

"I've got something I have to show you." He saw Happy hadn't waited for him, so he followed his Old Lady to the office. "I made copies of these, but I'm pretty sure your mother stole them. And when I heard about Asher I got the originals, just in case." Jax waited for her to rummage through her handbag before handing over a stack of papers and he took them, never wavering eye contact from his Old Lady. "I've got a surgery, so I'll leave them with you." She said quietly and gave a small smile before walking out, closing the door behind her. Jax knew he should go and get to AJ before Clay did, but what Tara said had him sitting down on the couch in the office and flicking through the pieces of paper.

* * *

><p>Happy watched Maddie Morrow give Shifty a dressing down from where he stood in the hallway. Shifty just refused to make eye contact with the older woman. When Maddie spotted him, he saw her face get that feral Morrow look on it before she was striding towards him.<p>

"What the hell did you do to her!" She screamed, hitting him in the chest and it took all of Happys control not to hit the bitch back, instead grabbing her arms and pushing her back as Shifty ran over to help. "You could have killed her!"

"Maddie…" Happy warned, pointing a finger at her, "don't fuckin' push me."

"Don't you push me!" Maddie yelled back at him, "My granddaughter is barely alive! Because of you!"

"This ain't on me!" Happy growled back. "You wanna blame someone- blame your own fuckin' ignorance." He hissed and felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him back.

"Hap." AJ Morrow was standing beside him and Happy shrugged out of his grasp.

"This ain't on me." He growled at Ashers uncle before walking down the hall to Ashers room and pushed open the door, closing it behind him as he walked in and took in the stark white room, his Old Lady lying unconscious on the bed. "This ain't on me." He muttered as he sat down and leaned heavily on his elbows.

For once, this wasn't his fault.

* * *

><p>AN: Review please! I hope you enjoyed it. x


	79. Chapter 79

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the reviews- I think I replied to everyone that I could! Also thank you to **Amanda **and **NoleGirl **for their reviews! Hope you enjoy this one!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Eight- Haemorrhage (In My Hands)<strong>

_Memories are just where you laid them  
>Drag the waters till the depths give up their dead<br>What did you expect to find  
>Was there something you left behind<br>Don't you remember anything I said when I said  
>Don't fall away<br>And leave me to myself  
>Don't fall away<br>And leave love bleeding in my hands  
>In my hands again<br>And leave love bleeding in my hands  
>In my hands<br>Love lies bleeding  
>-<em>_**Fuel **_

Juice rubbed his bruised neck anxiously as he waited for someone to come to the door. The last thing he felt like doing was facing Sarah right now. But Happys orders had come first. Then Jax. Both of them insisting he keep an eye on the women at Ashers house.

He couldn't believe that Asher had been shot. It was hard to believe the brave blonde had been taken down in her own home. He thought with Asher being Happys Old Lady, she would have been carrying a piece.

"Hey." It was Sarah that answered the door. She watched him with wary blue eyes as she stepped back and gestured for him to come in. "Mrs Lowman's sleeping and Bella's out the back." She said before shutting and locking the front door and stalking past him.

"Sarah…" Juice called after her, but she kept walking straight into the kitchen and he had to jog to catch her. "Come on."

She started to pick up plates from the table and dump them in the dishwater in the sink.

"What you're not talking to me now?" He asked watching her shoulders tense as she scrubbed at the plates. "Fine." He could babysit from the couch. Turning around he headed back out into the living room and making himself comfortable on the sofa.

"Glad to see you SAMCRO boys have some real drive." Juice lifted his head and saw Bella standing in the doorway.

"Something you want me to do?" Bella seemed to contemplate something before getting a sly smile on her face.

"No, you're fine there." Then she disappeared into the kitchen.

Juice leant his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Sarah was only a few metres away. Only a few metres away from him being able to tell her everything. How the cops were trying to get him to rat to protect his own back, how not twenty-four hours ago, he'd pulled the same stunt she'd pulled when she was fifteen.

He instantly hated himself for it. She trusted him with everything, with her body and he went and tried to kill himself by hanging himself from a tree because he couldn't face the club after what he'd done.

Something moved in the background and he jerked his head up and turned to see Sarah in the doorway.

"Why did you push me away?" She asked quietly. Juice took a deep breath and stood up.

"There's been a lot of shit going on lately…" He tried to explain.

"There's always a lot of shit going on Juice. What kind of excuse is that?" She asked and he could see the tears in her eyes. This is what he'd been trying to avoid. "You know my mum was shot yesterday- where were you? "

"Shit Sarah." He sighed when the tears escaped her eyes and ran down her pale cheeks. "Come here." He reached out and Sarah walked slowly into them and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"What if she dies?" Sarah choked and Juice rubbed her back gently and pressed a kiss to her head.

"She won't die Sare. She's a tough bitch." He heard her sniff and he held her tighter. God, he was so stupid.

* * *

><p>Happy was sitting back in the chair beside Ashers bed when Jax walked in and he jerked his head up from where it was resting on his fist.<p>

"It wasn't about Molly." Jax sighed and Happy furrowed his brow. Seconds later a pile of letters were in his lap and he looked down at the handwriting. "These are letters from my Old man to Maureen Ashby, his mistress in Belfast." Happy flicked through the letters, not really reading them, just seeing names and words come out of him occasionally. "They talk about Clay trying to kill him."

"Shit." Happy rasped and looked over at Asher still lying there quietly. Had she known about these?

"I went and saw Tara after I read them – she says she showed the letters to Asher and Asher told her to get rid of them. She said Asher already knew that Clay killed JT." Jax seemed to be taking this well. "I think I always saw it coming." Jax ran a hand over his head and sighed. "Change in ranks will be good for the club. Get our priorities straight. Get the bad blood out." Happy nodded. "And our other problem?"

"Clay first. The club will handle what comes of that. This other shit…" He ran a hand over his head and looked over at his girl. "I don't know how we're gunna handle that." How would Asher take it?

"We'll deal with it." Jax said, taking the letters Happy offered him. "This might get us a bit more sway with AJ." Happy scoffed.

"Watch out that old bitch doesn't take your eye out." Happy warned, watching Ashers chest rise and fall.

"Aight, I'll be back in a minute." Jax then left the room and Happy resumed watching his girl.

"Shit girl, what did you get into?" He asked, leaning forward on the bed and staring at her. He'd thought this was about Molly and Alvarez. He hadn't been expecting that Asher had been keeping John Tellers murder from him. "Shit." He was going to end this. No-one was touching his girl again. Slapping the bed, he stood up and headed out the door, nodding to Shifty in the hallway heading off.

* * *

><p>Once he was home he went to collect the stash of information Asher had stashed and sat down in his kitchen and sorted through it. Juice and Sarah were sitting quietly in the living room and Bella was making herself busy while his mother slept.<p>

"Whatcha got there, hun?" Bella looked over from the kitchen bench and rose her eyebrow.

"I dunno." He muttered.

"Anything I can help with?" She asked and he flipped through the pages, stopping when he came across Spanners letter. The guy that had been in love with his Old Lady had begun all this. He obviously knew it would lead to Asher finding out Frank had killed Molly. Obviously instigated by Clay.

"Nah, I gotta go." He put all the papers back together and stood up, just as he heard a phone go off. Patting his pocket he realised it wasn't his. "That yours?" He asked, looking up at Bella who held her phone up shaking her head.

"Hap!" Sarah came into the room, holding out the sleek black phone he recognised as Ashers. "It was on the floor in the hall. Happy took it from her and saw an unfamiliar number before pressing the green button and holding it to his ear.

"_How'd you stop the cops turning up?" _The voice was recognisable and Happy looked around the kitchen, through the windows but he couldn't see shit.

"You watchin' me?" he asked seeing three pairs of eyes on him.

"_Can't see me?"_

"That's the point ain't it." There was a low chuckle down the line. He jerked his head towards the three people in the kitchen before heading out the back door and closing it behind him. "You're meant to be dead."

"_Yeah, I saw that shit coming." _Happy chuckled slightly.

"Man, Collie you are one slippery bastard."

"_You know who came after me?" _He asked and Happy nodded. _"Yeah, thought so. You know it was a patch that went after Asher?" _ Happy knew then that Collie had seen the whole thing.

"Big guy, grey hair?" Happy asked, confirming it.

"_I've seen Clay Morrows mugshot, Happy, I know what he looks like. You're taking care of it?" _

"Yeah, I'm dealin' with it." Happy replied and then Collie hung up. "Shit." Well at least he had some good news. Collie wasn't dead. Walking back into the kitchen he saw Bella standing over the sink and remembered the gun was underneath it. He had to get rid of the fucking thing before it caused anymore trouble.

Clay had definitely put a lot of thought into this. This whole thing to keep Asher in line. Kill off her family and friends to scare her into keeping quiet. He must have known that killing Asher would only get him in hot water with the club.

Asher wasn't just Happys Old Lady. She was the mother of a SAMTAC kid, she'd stitched up several members of the club including Taylor when he was NOMAD president, she was well respected in this part of the states. Clay had known that if she'd been hurt or killed then there would be no shortage of Sons searching for her killer, and Happy would be leading the charge. So what the fuck had made him snap? Did he think he had time to get out of Charming before Happy worked out it was him?

Well too late.

Bella saw him staring and shifted away from the sink, letting Happy get in and pull the bagged gun out from under the sink. He'd dispose of it himself, make sure it never saw the light of day again. Tucking it in his cut on the other side from Ashers locket and letter, he nodded his thanks to Bella and picked up all the papers on the table before heading down the hall to their room. He'd been so determined not an hour earlier, when he'd gone in there, he hadn't stopped and taken in the reminders of Asher in there. Knowing he hated mess, she had all her clothes put away. He'd seen her room in Seattle, she liked to have all her options out on display. On the floor. But since they'd lived together, she'd made the effort to please him. She may have fought him constantly but she was a good old lady.

Trying not to think of the girl in question, he put the documents back, before heading down to the nursery where Petey was sleeping soundly. He leaned over the crib and looked down at the baby.

He was so quiet. Just lying there, his little chest rising and falling slowly. Happy didn't know what he was planning on doing in there, but seeing the kid was enough. He'd done the rounds, now he was going to sort this shit out.

His phone beeped and he flipped it open to see a message from Jax.

_Church in 30_

There was one more stop to make before he went to vote.

* * *

><p>Asher Morrow Junior was livid.<p>

Someone had stormed into his nieces house. The house where she raised her son and shot her.

What kind of callous bastard did that?

He'd been associated with the Irish Mob for more than twenty years, since back before he was married to his darling Bethy, and even then, none of them had stormed into a young womans house and did that.

This was classic SOA bullshit.

AJ knew that this had something to do with either his brother or Ashers Old Man.

"Why can't we get in there to see her?" His mother snapped as she paced the waiting room. "We're her goddamn family!"

"He's just trying to protect her, mum." He sighed and Maddie snapped her classic Morrow blue eyes at him in warning.

"We're her family. Blood." AJ looked away from his mother.

_Blood_

He knew that both Asher and Happy weren't big believers in blood. Asher had practically been raised by the Stevenson family. And Happy had taken on Sarah Stevenson as his own, no questions asked. So Maddie preaching about blood was not going to get her far with Happy.

Thinking back to half an hour before when he'd seen the man in the hallway, that look in his eye.

Shit, he'd seen a similar look in the Tacoma Killers eye when Asher had first been shot all those years ago. This was tearing him up. Asher was his one weakness, and this was hurting him beyond his control. With all the shit that AJ did with the Irish, he'd lost friends and associates, but never family. Bethy had never once been in danger because he'd gone out of his way to make sure she was safe.

Why hadn't Happy put those same precautions in? What had made Happy make the same mistakes that Frank Hayden had made all those years ago when his little sister had been killed. It made his heart ache to think of Molly in a similar situation to Asher. How broken up Frank had been when she hadn't pulled through.

All this thinking was making his head hurt and AJ ran a hand over his salt and pepper hair and over his face.

"Hey." He looked up to see his reaper clad step-nephew standing above him, arms crossed over his chest.

"Jax, oh!" Maddie exclaimed and rushed over to him. "You have to say something to Happy, he won't let me in there to see my granddaughter." Jax held up a hand to Maddie, obviously trying to soften the blow as AJ pushed himself out of the chair.

"Look, Hap and I are heading home in a minute, you'll get a chance to see her then." Maddie almost stomped her foot and AJ suddenly had a flashback to his little sister Molly having the same pouting look. "AJ, can I have a word?" Jax asked and AJ nodded.

"What's so important you have to leave me here?" Maddie asked.

"Sorry Maddie, it's just work stuff. I'll have him right back." Maddie rolled her eyes, but AJ followed Jax down the hall to a set of double doors which he pushed open to reveal the hospitals small chapel. "Sorry AJ, I know its not a good time." AJ shrugged. He wasn't getting anywhere with seeing Asher, so it was nice to be away from his mother for five minutes.

"What's up Jackson?" Jax took a seat on one of the pews and AJ sat down next to him, leaning back in the hard wooden chair and looking over at the blonde man.

"It's about Asher, what she got into." Jax said quietly and AJ sat up.

"What?"

"Look, Hap knows more than I do about it, but it's got something to do with your sister and Marcus Alvarez." AJ felt his lips tighten.

_Marcus Alvarez_

The no-good Mexican biker that had tried to steal Molly away from her family.

"I ain't saying that whatever happened between them was right, but it's obvious there's some big secret surrounding it and Mollys murder." AJ stiffened.

"Ain't no secret Jackson. My little sister was gunned down by those goddamn wetbacks." AJ snapped. "Is this who did this? The Mayans? Did they shoot my niece?" AJ choked. Had the past replayed itself here in Charming.

"Nah, look, I don't know. I just thought you could shed some light on it. I haven't had a chance to talk to Happy about it, but I think its connected to this." Jax gestured around the room before reaching into his cut and holding out a stack of papers. "My Old Lady found these. They're letters from my old man to his mistress in Belfast. They talk about Clay trying to kill him." AJ warily took the letters. "From what Tara tells me, she showed Asher and Asher admitted that she already knew."

"My little brother wouldn't do that to JT, he loved him like a brother."

"AJ, you know Clay. But you also know Asher. You know she'd do anything to protect her family. You only have to think back to that Thanksgiving when she brought Happy around. You know how long she kept the Morrows a secret from him?" AJ had to admit, it was true. Asher could keep a secret if she thought it was for the best. But was his brother really capable of killing his best friend, then his niece? "Read the letters. Let me know what you think. But I got to tell you AJ, Haps livid, I'm having a hard time keeping him in check. If he goes off the handle, we lose a lot of deals, including one with the IRA." And AJ realised why he was getting let in on this little bit of information.

"You're telling me all this shit cause you need someone to deal with the Irish?" Jax jerked his head slightly. "Shit, Jax."

"Look AJ, you read these, go see Asher, whatever you have to do, then get back to me. Just don't take too long." Jax reached over and patted his shoulder and stood up and left him to look down at the handwritten letters in his hands.

As he read, letter after letter, AJ could almost imagine John Teller saying the words out loud. People always glorified JT as the man that had founded the Sons of Anarchy. Choosing not to remember the depression John suffered when his son had died or the ability for him to write his thoughts out like this on paper. This was the John that AJ remembered from their younger years, before they had all been married.

And letter after letter AJ felt his confidence in his brother waver.

Sighing he put the letters down and looked around the small chapel. He could still remember the day that Asher had been born in Tacoma. The way his little sister had looked as she'd held so tightly to the little baby. Frank Hayden by her side.

Then his little sister had been murdered and that tiny little baby had been thrust into the arms of her alcoholic father. And not once had she complained. She'd kept going, put herself through school, looked after little Sarah Stevenson, before finally becoming a mother herself. That little baby had grown into the beautiful blonde woman that he thought of as a daughter.

He didn't even realise he was crying until a wet drop landed on one of the papers in his hands. He wasn't going to watch another child grow up like that.

Pulling his phone out, AJ dialled and held the phone to his ear. When he heard the reply he took a deep breath and rubbed his face.

"I want fucking bitch that did this to my family dealt with. Nobody fucks with my niece and comes out alive." He growled before ending the call and looking up at the crucifix on the wall behind the alter. "Sorry brother." He muttered before standing up and going in search of his mother.

* * *

><p>Pulling into Teller Morrow after a trip out to the old bluebird site to bury the gun, Happy saw Tig inside the shed, yelling something at a Prospect and he walked over, sticking a cigarette in his mouth as he went. Yesterday, he'd spent the majority of the day torturing a Lobo, one of the rival cartels and hadn't raised a sweat. But this, the prospect of having to go against the club had him feeling anxious.<p>

"Hey Bro, heard about your girl." Tig wiped his hands on a cloth and Happy leant against the hood of the car Tig was working on.

"Take a hike Prospect." Happy growled at the Prospect who nodded quickly before disappearing. "Thought you'd be with Clay." Happy said quietly, inhaling and watching Tig shrug.

"Yeah, he had something to do." Yeah, Happy could imagine. "Thought I'd hang around- thought you might want some back up." Happy looked up at the blue eyes of his best friend. Tig had been a prospect with him, Tig had been there last time Asher had been shot. But there was a difference between being friends and being the president that Tig had sat beside for years.

"I don't need any back up."

"Man," Tig stopped wiping his hands. "This ain't like you. You holding out of me?"

"Just going about the right way 'bout it." Happy shrugged.

"The guy came into your house and shot your old lady, man. Your kid coulda been there." Happy looked pointedly at the Sargent. "Yeah, I guess you know. What's going on Bro?"

"This vote, I'm going for change." Happy rasped and watched Tigs face as he leant on the hood of the car and shook his head.

"Brother, men like you and me, we're few and far between these days. Jax will only push us out." Tig sighed and Happy shrugged. He was well aware of this but his rage for Clay was too much. He had a back up plan. He could always go Nomad or SAMTAC if Jax wanted them out. "Change will only end bad."

"Change is the only option I got man. I need Clay outta the chair."

"What?" Tig pushed off the car and Happy took a deep breath. Rip the bandaid right off. "The fuck you mean?"

"Asher found some shit out on Clay. That's who shot her." Happy replied and watched Tigs brow furrow in confusion.

"He's the fuckin' President man."

"Ashers my old lady."

"She's just some gash." Tig griped and it was Happy that snapped, up in a moment and had his brother by the throat up against the wall, things clattering to the floor. He knew that Tig could fight back, but his surprise had thrown him up and Happy was at the advantage.

"That's the fucking mother of my kid you're talking about." Happy hissed. It felt good to have his fingers wrapped tightly around someones throat. The adrenaline surging through his body as Tig stood there calmly. "That _gash_ is the only fucking reason I'm here."

"She worth throwing this life away for?" Tig gasped through the fingers on his neck and Happy gave himself a second to consider it before answering it.

"Yeah, she is." With another shove Happy stepped back. "Clay was the one that ordered the kill on Spanner. The kid was like a brother, a real brother. This ain't just about Asher." He reasoned and he saw Tigs fight waver.

"What about drugs?" Tig asked. The deal with the cartel would have to wait. Happy cocked his head in answer and Tig rubbed his neck. "I can't follow you with this bro."

"Aight." Happy took a deep breath and nodded. He got it. It was worth a try. "See ya in church brother." He patted Tig on the shoulder and walked out just as he saw Jax walk across the lot and stood in front of him, watching Tig watch them both.

"You speak to him?" Jax asked and Happy ran a hand over his head.

"Tried."

"I spoke to AJ, we might have a bit of sway with him if the vote goes through. He's fuckin' devastated man." Happy nodded. So he should be- it was his family that had done this. At the thought of Clay, the bike pulled into the lot and Clay swung off, striding towards the clubhouse. Happy couldn't help it, he saw red. All he could envision was his girl, screaming for her life. "Hey." A hand wrapped around his arm and stopped him before he'd even realised he was walking towards the President. "If you can't handle your shit, I'll proxy ya vote." Jax warned and Happy clenched his jaw.

"I can-"

"Go on, sit with ya girl. I'll call ya." Jax gave him a dismissive jerk of his head and Happy stood his ground. "I'm serious bro. You can't go in there guns blazing- not yet. Go see Asher." He took a lot of willpower, but Happy gave the VP one more glare before heading towards his bike.

"Where's he going?" He heard Opie say as he left.

"His girls hangin' onto her life, he's spending some time with her." He heard Jax reply before he swung his leg over the back of his bike and looked back at the clubhouse. It fucking pained him to walk away from this. But Jax was right. There was a right way to go about this.

* * *

><p>Clay took a seat at the head of the table and heard his brothers move around outside in the clubhouse. Church was meant to start in ten minutes, but Clay was using the time to consider his options. He'd eliminated one opposing force in Piney, but the fact that Gemma had called him as he left the cabin to tell him that Asher was just hanging on made him uneasy. If the little blonde bitch made it through, she was going to make the gavel a lot harder to hold onto. He wasn't worried about her old man – Happy was a club man – he'd roll with this. It was Jax. With the amount of shit he'd had to go through to get the VP on his side, to have it fall through because he had some love for his cousin.<p>

Taking a deep breath, he wrapped his hand around the handle of the gavel and held onto it for possibly the last time. The makeshift doors of the clubhouse came open and kept his focus on the gavel as the boys walked in, each of them taking a seat at the table.

When he lifted his head, he was surprised to see Happy missing from his spot at the end of the table, combined with the absence of Piney and Miles, it made the table look almost empty.

"Where's Happy?"

"At the hospital. I got his proxy." Jax said, lighting a cigarette and taking a deep inhale. Clay eyed the VP warily. When did he and Happy become buddies? "His Old Ladies barely hangin' on Prez."

_Good_

"Alright, well, lets get down to it, so we can go help our brother find the son of a bitch that did this." Clay said sitting up straight and looking around the table. "All those in favour of a change of leadership." He lifted his hand. "Nay. I got Piney's proxy as nay."

He turned his head to look at Tig who seemed to be warring with something, his eyes shifting from Clay to Jax.

"Nay." Heads turned to Chibs who's eyes were trained on Jax. The Scot was a fuckin' puppy when it came to Jax. Where did he think this was going to go? Jax would follow _him_.

"Nay." Opie next, looking over at Jax.

"Sorry brother, yay." Eyes went to Koz.

"Yay." There was no sympathy on Koz's face and Clay furrowed his brow but turned his attention to Juice.

"Yay." The younger man rasped and rubbed at his neck. What the fuck had gotten into him? Clay was glancing around the table now. What the hell had gotten into them?

"Yay." Bobby said next and Clay could feel his eyes on him.

"I got Haps proxy." Jax said and Clay knew that with Happy and Jax's votes he'd still in the chair by the end of the day. "Haps a yay." Then his own son turned to look at him. "Mines a yay too."

* * *

><p>"What do you mean Asher Hayden has been shot?" Lieutenant Eli Roosevelt spat at his deputy.<p>

"Ah…yes sir." The man was visibly shaking in his boots but Roosevelt didn't care. "Y…yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Roosevelt asked sarcastically. "She was shot yesterday, and you didn't tell me until to-day?" The Deputy nodded. Goddammit , Charming wasn't that big. How could this have happened without him hearing about it?

"We were busy with SAMCRO."

"SAMCRO? An innocent woman was shot, and she suddenly takes second to a motorcycle gang?" he hissed and saw the Deputy shake his head quickly. "You know that woman is a single mother? She's got a baby that isn't even a year old." He informed the Deputy before slipping his gun into his holster and snapping it shut before looking up at the Deputy. "Get out." The Deputy nodded and got the hell out of there as Roosevelt picked up his cell phone and sunglasses.

Ten minutes later, he was walking through the Intensive Care unit at St Thomas'. He was directed down to Asher Haydens room and noticed a chair sitting outside the door as he knocked in case of family and friends, before stepping into the room and stopping dead.

When he'd first met Asher Hayden it was just after her Uncle had killed himself and he'd delivered the news. She'd looked tired. The impact of being a young mother taking its toll on such a pretty little thing. Now as he stepped into the room, he wished he'd taken a look at her record. Just in case. Anything to prepare him for this.

There in front of him, was an old lady, with a bright blue scarf wrapped around her head, holding Ashers hand as the girl lay in the bed, a tube down her throat. But the thing that got him was the eyes that had been on him as soon as he had stepped through the door. The black eyes of one of the photos from the ADA's wall of SAMCRO. One of the members that had nearly spent more time behind bars than in front of them, stood there watching him, with Ashers child in his arms.

_Happy Lowman_

He mentally kicked himself for not checking if Asher had any connections to the club. But she'd seemed so far from it.

"What d'ya want?" Happy growled and Roosevelt straightened up and tucked his sunglasses in his shirt pocket.

"I've got a few questions about Miss Haydens attack."

"It look like she's up for talking?" The man growled and both of them heard his name hissed through the teeth of the older woman.

"Whats your association with Miss Hayden?" Roosevelt asked, hands on hips and glaring over at Happy. Maybe Asher had become associated with the club recently.

"She's the mother of my kid. She's my Old Lady." Happy replied and Roosevelt looked down at the kid and saw the visible resemblance to the man in front of him.

"Well, I'd like to ask you a few questions then." He saw the man tense but the older woman stood up and walked over to Happy.

"Let me take the baby, you go answer his questions Hap." Happys dark eyes stayed on Roosevelt as he handed the baby over.

"We won't be long, Ma." So the woman was Happys mother. Where was Ashers family? But the thoughts were cut short as Roosevelt led the way out of the room, and waited for the biker to follow. "I got shit to do- this gunna take long?" Happy growled and Roosevelt glared at the man.

"Just a few standard questions." The biker jerked his head and Roosevelt took that as his cue to speak. "We've been unable to locate the crime scene. The server crashed after the call went out for paramedics and dispatch lost the trace."

"Look I don't got much faith in cops. What makes ya think I'm gunna start now?" He growled and crossed his huge tattooed arms across his chest. But he was right. Nothing was going to make him change his mind. But he had to try.

"You don't want to help me catch the person that did this to your girl, your Old Lady?" He asked. Hoping, praying that this man had a heart.

"My Old Lady is none of your concern. I can look after my own fuckin' family. I don't need some cop to do it for me." He snapped and Roosevelt forced himself not to lose it. This guy was faced with the prospect of a dead Old Lady and a motherless child. He, despite his demeanour was freaking out.

"I'm just trying to do my job, Mr Lowman." Roosevelt reasoned. "I know that you club takes their rules very seriously. But if I find out that your club did this to her because she spoke to the cops, I will bury you. Your kid will never know his father."

"You think this happened because Asher went to you about Collie? Who the fuck you think sent her there?" Then he turned his back on Roosevelt and went back into the room. Well the man had a point. And not once had he eluded to who had hurt his girl.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry." Happy looked up from the chair to see Dr Tara Knowles standing in the doorway. He ignored her and turned his attention back to Asher whos chest was rising and falling with each forced breath. The tube down her throat helping the oxygen get to her lungs. The doctor had said that she could have it out in a day or so. She was finally on the mend. "I never meant for this to happen."<p>

He turned his attention back to the brunette and fixed his glare on her. She was the reason Asher was in this position. He'd thought it was because her stupid Hayden pride had gotten the better of her and she'd gone digging. But this, this was all because the 'good' doctor had stuck her fucking nose in where it didn't belong.

"Well it did." He snapped. "You shoulda kept her out of it."

"She already knew, Happy. She's always known that Clay killed JT, so you can't completely blame me." Happy felt his grip tighten on the arm rest on the chair and was about to propel himself out of the chair and at the stupid bitch when Jax stepped into the doorway.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked and Happy watched Tara paste a smile on her face and shrug.

"Just checking on Asher." Then she turned her back on them both and left, leaving the VP looking at Happy who was waiting expectantly.

"Votes in." Happy waited. "Clays outta the chair." This time Happy was up and out of the chair and heading towards the door, but Jax stopped him. "Think about this bro. Give it some time. Go see your kids and then we'll talk about the best way to do this." Jax warned and Happy seethed.

"You want me to wait to get revenge for _that._" He gestured to the girl laying prone in the bed behind him. "If it was Tara…"

"But it ain't Tara. It's Asher. Man, if Tara was right and Asher has known about JT all along then Clay has had this contingency plan in place for a long time." Jax was right, of course. But it didn't mean shit. Clay still had to pay. He wasn't a patched president anymore. They had to strike while everything was in chaos.

"Bro, I don't have a choice." He rasped and shrugged to the VP.

"Aight, well, we'll do it tonight then." Happy nodded. Tonight was good. "Go on man, go see ya kids. Hell, we might not make it out of this in one piece."

Happy took one look at his Old Lady in the bed before turning back to Jax.

"Don't have much choice." Then he walked out, leaving Jax with Asher and heading down the hall.

* * *

><p>"What're you doin' boy?" Happy looked up from the stone that he was running his blade along.<p>

"Thinkin'." Happy muttered.

Planning.

"Thinking about murdering someone or cutting us some steaks?" Nora asked, taking a seat on the back porch with him and Happy returned his focus to the knife in his hand. He couldn't look at his mother for too long. It was bad enough not knowing when Asher was going to wake up, let alone looking at his cancer riddled mother.

"Bit'a both." He replied, flicking his thumb on the blade and feeling the bite in his skin.

"Ya know I always liked that girl." Nora sighed and Happy chuckled slightly. Could have fooled him. "When I first saw her I knew she was either going to break your heart and steal it. God, I was so scared of losing you."

"Jesus Ma." Happy rolled his eyes, but didn't lift them from his task.

"I know, I'm insecure. But you were my baby boy. After your daddy died, I didn't know what to do. Then you went to jail again and again and I just saw a life I never wished for you. Then you brought that damn girl around. I could tell from that moment that you were in love with her and after so many years of convincing myself that you would never meet someone, she just appeared. And my god she loved you. She still does. And suddenly I was forced to realise that you weren't mine anymore." Happy rolled his eyes again, but lifted his head to look up at his mother who was watching him with stern eyes like she used to when he was a teenager.

"You tripping down memory lane, Ma?" he asked.

"I'm not going to be around much longer, sweetheart." Yeah, he was trying to avoid thinking about that. "I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Stepping up and being a father to both Sarah and Peter, and letting Asher in." Happy smirked. His mama, giving him the 'I'm so proud of you' speech just as he was about to go and kill someone. At that point in time his mind had managed to build a wall to block the image of Asher in hospital out of his head.

"You got awhile in you yet Ma." He replied gruffly and went back to sharpening his knife.

"I want you to do something for me Happy." She said quietly and he sighed and leant back in the chair, rolling his head around to look at his mother. "Marry her." Happy scoffed. "I'm serious Happy, don't let her go." He heard the clatter of something on the table and looked down to see the wedding rings both his parents had worn. One of them being the same ring his mother had worn for twenty years after his fathers death. "Please, do this one thing for me."

"Asher ain't really…" Happy started.

"The marrying kind?" his mother smiled knowingly. "She's not anything you don't want her to be. That girl would follow you into hell." She leant forward and pushed the rings towards him. "Just think about it, sweetheart." She stood up and Happy watched her look out over the bare back lawn and sighed. "Don't you know how to grow a lawn boy?"

"Haven't got around to it yet." Happy replied, watching his mother nod and head back inside before glancing down at the rings on the table. He put down his knife and picked up the rings with one finger watching them slide onto his forefinger, thick, gold and simple, unlike the rings he wore now.

_Marriage_

Even in his head he couldn't quite grasp the word, and he was fucking thankful when his phone rang and he pulled it out and flipped it open.

"Yeah?"

"Yo, Hap, my mum just turned up. Pineys dead."

* * *

><p>AN: Hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW please...


	80. Chapter 80

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

**Big Thank you to everyone who reviewed- sorry I didn't get around to replying, but things have been flat out. You all know who you are! I also accidently read an article about last nights ep of SOA (we don't get it here on free tv for a long time yet) and nearly cried about a certain scene and am officially traumitised and I hope many of you don't have to go to councilling after sitting through that! Anyways enjoy this chapter! **

Obviously Kurt Cobain wrote and sung Heart Shaped Box originally, but considering this is a very pro-Lana story and she did a wonderful cover of it, today we credit it to her.

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Nine- Heartshaped Box<strong>

_She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak,  
>I've been locked inside your heart shaped box for weeks.<br>I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap,  
>I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black...<em>

_Hey, wait,_  
><em>I got a new complaint,<em>  
><em>Forever in debt to your priceless advice<em>  
><em>-<em>_**Lana Del Rey**_

Gemma Teller-Morrow paced the kitchen, resting a hand over her forehead trying to stop the pounding in her head as her son say nearby at the kitchen table.

"I should have seen this coming." She muttered. She knew that those letter were going to cause a world of trouble for all of them. Clay had obviously been trying to protect himself, going after the old man.

"Mum, would you sit down?" Jax asked and Gemma looked down at her son, pursing her lips. Why was he so calm about this? She'd turned up ten minutes ago and told him that she'd gone to see Piney and found him shot dead in the cabin. She hadn't said anything about who had done it, so it had come as a shock when Jax had immediately sighed and muttered Clays name before saying he had to call Happy.

"Why did you call Happy?" Gemma asked and Jax leant back in the chair. She knew all his looks. He was her own flesh and blood. And that look told her that there was a reason Jax knew it was Clay that had lost control. "We have to nip this in the bud, Jax. If anyone finds out that this was Clay, it will hurt the club."

"Mum! Clays already out." Jax snapped and Gemma straightened up.

"What?"

"Club voted him out of the chair this morning. Short term maybe, but long enough for what I gotta do." Jax said and Gemma pulled out a chair, glaring at her son. "I know you saw the letters mum. I know you know that Clay killed JT."

"What are you planning?"

"Look, mum, Clays done some bad stuff- too much. Donna? Lowell Senior? Getting mixed up with Galindo." Gemma sighed. He had a point. Not to mention Lowell Senior had been part of Johns death. "He caused the death of a SAMTAC brother and both Hayden brothers. Not to mention he apparently had something to do with his sisters murder." Gemma swallowed thickly.

"Molly?"

"Yeah, he killed Molly. His own sister." And that's how Gemma knew where this was going. Clay had shot Asher. The little blonde bitch, that despite her attitude was someone that Gemma admired.

"He shot Asher?"

"Yeah, mum. He shot Asher." Her headache turned to a full blown migraine as Gemma rubbed her forehead painfully. "Shit."

"I'm sorry mum."

"Yeah," She sighed, "me too."

When she'd first heard that Asher had been shot, she knew that Happy would be out for blood. Men like him didn't just sit back and take it. And suddenly she had no sympathy for her husband. She knew that Clay was about to kill everyone he could to protect his secret. That meant Tara. That meant Jax. She couldn't do that to her family.

She'd once said to Tara that her gift was to look after her family- be a lioness to her cubs. And every maternal bone in her body said that Clay had to be dealt with.

"What're you going to do Jackson?" She asked quietly, reaching out for Jaxs hand and Jax shrugged.

"We gotta keep this from Opie for just awhile. Haps going to take care of Clay. He will do it fast, right and clean. I can't risk this club because Ope loses his cool." Gemma stroked Jax's hand. Her boy was still putting the club first. He was a born president.

The roar of a Harley in the driveway made Jax pulled his hand back and stood up.

"That's Hap. I'll call you later." Gemma nodded slowly, smiling slightly as Jax leant over and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry it's come to this ma."

"I know, baby."

* * *

><p>"Ah, Lieutenant Roosevelt?" Roosevelt stopped his walk across the station to the interview room where he had Juan Carlos Ortiz sitting, waiting anxiously.<p>

"What?" Roosevelt snapped, turning around to look at the receptionist who visibly recoiled and he felt bad for letting his anger at the ADA be taken out on the woman. "Sorry, I'm just very busy at the moment." He waved his hand for emphasis.

"I know, I'm sorry, it's just that Colin Dennis is here." The name rang a bell but Roosevelt shrugged.

"So?"

"He said he has some information about a shooting yesterday…Asher Hayden?" With all the shit going on with SAMCRO, Asher Hayden had been pushed to the back of his mind since earlier that morning when he'd gone to the hospital.

"Send him straight to interview three." Juan Carlos could stew for a little while. "And can you get one of the desk officers to get me a file on Asher Hayden, please." The receptionist nodded and scuttled off, before Roosevelt headed down the hall.

When he pushed open Interview Three he was met with a young man, watching him from where he sat calmly in the chair.

"Colin Dennis." Roosevelt held up the file he'd collected from his office. "I have a missing persons out on you."

"Well as you can tell Sheriff, I'm not missing." He replied and Roosevelt took a seat down across the table from him.

"I'm a Lieutenant of the Sheriffs department, Mr Dennis, Charmings under the San Joaquin Sheriff now. We're just small town folk compared to Tacoma." Roosevelt said as he flicked open the file. "Mind telling me where you've been the last week or so?"

"I had a job. Deep undercover." Roosevelt narrowed his eyes at the young man. He was a private detective, so that was understandable. Didn't explain why Asher Hayden had been looking for him, or why he was here now. "But I'm not here to talk about me."

"Of course, you said you had some information regarding an attempted murder." Colin Dennis nodded and Roosevelt gestured for him to go on.

"Aight, well I heard Asher was looking for me so when I got down here I went 'round to her place to see her. And I just got out of the car when I heard gunshots, next thing I know, these three dudes come out of the house and get in a big black car and take off." Roosevelt rose his eyebrows.

"A black car? Like an SUV?" One-niners perhaps? This was the first lead they'd had on the case.

"Yeah, I spose." Colin leant back in the chair and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Could you describe the men? Where they black?" Colin shook his head.

"Nah, these dudes were white. Big, sharp suits. I dunno, looked like regular joes." Russians? Could they still be going after SAMCRO after what had happened a few weeks ago?

"Did they speak? Russian maybe?"

"Look, no disrespect _Lieutenant,_ but I'm a 'dick' not a linguist." Yeah this guy was a dick. Roosevelt sighed and ran a hand over his head.

"You said you and Asher Hayden are friends, how long have you known her?" Colin shrugged.

"Since middle school."

"And her Old Man- Happy Lowman, you know him?" Colin nodded.

"Yeah I've known him since I dunno, since the attack I guess." He replied and Roosevelts brow furrowed.

"The attack?" Colin seemed to realise he'd said too much and clamped his mouth shut. "What attack?"

"It ain't really my place to say." He replied, uncrossing his arms and placing his hands on the table. "That enough information for ya? I got places to be." Roosevelt sighed but gestured to the door.

"Thanks for your time." Colin didn't answer, just walked out the door and Roosevelt wondered what the hell that was all about. Standing up, he headed towards the door, it opening before he reached it as one of the rookies stood in front of him, holding a folder.

"I got that file for you, sir."

"Aight, walk with me." He gestured towards the hall and the rookie flipped open the file and jogged to keep up with him.

"Asher Hayden, born the twentieth of February nineteen-eighty in Tacoma to Francis Hayden and Matilda Morrow."

Holy shit, Asher was related to Clay Morrow?

"Her mother was shot when Asher was just a coupla' months old and she was left with Frank. She has a few minor warnings for possession and underage drinking- her uncle was the sheriff so she got away with it." The rookie flipped a page and scanned it before talking again. "In ninety eight she was involved in a child molestation case. Apparently, her neighbours kid, Sarah Stevenson was abducted and Asher somehow found her, only to be abducted as well. The official report said that Happy Lowman was the one who found them in the end. The little girl had been raped and Lowman shot and killed her abductor. Of course, being a Son, and the shooting being point blank in front of two young girls, he was arrested and charged with murder, but only got convicted for aggravated assault in a case that Asher was the star witness. Lowman got three years because Asher took off and never testified." The rookie took a deep breath and Roosevelt stopped his walk.

"How old was she?" He hadn't been paying much attention to the dates.

"She was eighteen, sir." Roosevelt nodded before gesturing for him to continue, but not moving from their spot in the hall. "Um, three years later, she was mugged in LA and admitted to hospital for a gunshot wound to the abdomen." Very similar to the one she'd just received, Roosevelt mused. "Um, after that, things were pretty quiet. She was questioned briefly about the disappearance of her boyfriend who later turned up in a city dump in Sacramento. She was eliminated as a suspect though, doesn't say why. In oh-five, she applied for guardian ship of Sarah Stevenson and moved to Seattle. The most recent thing was a birth certificate for last year- she had a son- Peter James Lowman. From what I gathered from other reports, the name was after a Son that was killed in Tacoma years ago. Apparently he'd been involved in a few of the possession pick-ups when she was a kid." He shrugged and Roosevelt held out his hand for the file.

"Thanks – this is good." The rookie grinned at the compliment, before quickly disappearing. Roosevelt looked down at the file in his hand. Well, this explained the look on Lowmans face in the hospital room. He'd been looking out for Asher since she was eighteen. That was a long time to be looking out for one girl.

Walking back into his office he hit the intercom button to the reception, hearing the cheery voice of the other receptionist.

"Annie, can you get Tacoma Sheriff Department on the line for me?" A cheery confirmation down the line spoke back to him before a click. Sitting down he made himself comfortable before the line clicked again.

"Sir, Tacoma Sheriffs Department on the line."

Picking up the phone he held it to his ear and pressed the button.

"This is Lieutenant Roosevelt from San Joaquin Sheriffs Department in California, can you patch me through to the Sheriff please?" Another cheery voice came down the line telling him he was being transferred.

"Yo, this is Royce?" Roosevelt couldn't help but scoff at the way they ran the show up at Washington.

"Sheriff, I'm ringing about Asher Hayden."

"Uh, shit, sorry bro, they've hit the wrong button. Shaun and I swapped offices…wait- did you say Asher Hayden?" Who was this guy?

"Who are you?"

"I'm Royce, I'm running a forensic unit outta the Sheriffs office. You said Asher Hayden right?" he asked and Roosevelt sighed.

"Yeah…"

"Weird. You want me to patch ya back through to Shaun?" This Royce asked but Roosevelt was more interested in what this guy had to say.

"Why do you say that?" Roosevelt asked.

"Why do I say what?"

"What's weird about Asher Hayden?" Sitting up straight Roosevelt waited for the man on the other end to reply.

"Why you asking?"

"Miss Hayden was shot, point blank in her own home last night." He knew the only way to get the information he needed was to play the guilt card. "She's in ICU, if she doesn't pull through she's leaving behind an eight month old son."

"Shit." The voice down the line sighed.

"What do you know?"

"This chick came in here a few months back, sayin' her name was Matilda Morrow. Anyways, she was asking me questions about Bill Haydens murder." Royce replied.

"Suicide."

"Whatever you say. So this chick comes in and she pays me all this money to keep quiet about Bill Haydens death. So I gave her the documents. I mean, this chick was serious. I could tell by the look in her eye. And I may have mentioned something to her about Bill Hayden looking for a girl called Asher Hayden and she asked if I'd told him where she was. " The guy barely drew breath, "I said that nah I hadn't cause Bill had called and called it off. Then I was telling her about my theory."

This guy sounded crazy. Off his meds kind of crazy, but Roosevelt played along.

"What's your theory."

"Well, I mean, Asher Hayden took off when the Tacoma Killer went to trial for murdering Reg Thomson. The guy that raped this little girl years ago. She was a witness and I always thought that you know, the Tacoma Killer didn't like witnesses, and made her disappear. So you know, she leaves. And it got me thinking, for some random chick this girl knew a lot about the Hayden family. I mean she was talking about Bills brother Frank and everything. So I looked up Frank Hayden and found a report about Matilda Morrow being killed like twenty-eight years ago in her car, with her daughter Asher in the car. And it all like clicked. I looked up Asher Hayden on the database and found a Washington drivers licence with a picture of the same broad that had been in my office five minutes earlier."

"Sounds interesting."

"Yeah, well, I gotta say, if Asher Hayden is alive, there's only one person that I can justify shooting her was the Tacoma Killer."

"Alright, thanks Royce." Roosevelt hung up before he said anything else and rubbed his face. He had gone from having no leads, to two very possible leads. He had no doubt that the Tacoma Killer was Happy Lowman. It matched up with what was in Ashers file. So was it the Russians or the man that had been by her bedside. But something niggled at him. The way Happy Lowman looked at him. The reluctance of information.

Then he realised why he'd been led to this Royce.

It wasn't his theory about Asher and the Tacoma Killer.

It was Bill Haydens murder.

"Sir." A knock at the door made him jerk his head up and see another one of his deputies standing in the doorway.

"Yes."

"Ah, Juan Carlos Ortiz is still in Interview room one." He said sheepishly and Roosevelt winced.

Shit, he'd completely forgotten.

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><p>Sarah felt bad about turning up at the clubhouse in search of Juice, but he'd messaged her two hours ago telling her he was on his way back to the house. And she hadn't worried about it until she'd called him and there had been no answer. Happy had messaged her not long after asking her to make sure Juice stayed there the rest of the night.<p>

Something was going down, and Juice was no where to be seen.

"Can I help ya?" Spinning around on her heel, Asher saw the Sargent At Arms watching her from the office doorway. She hadn't had much to do with Tig, but the dude was scary. She knew he was one of Happys closest friends, so that only further enforced the idea that he was scary.

"I was looking for Juice."

"His PO called him in for a piss test." Tig replied and Sarah furrowed her brow. This was the first she'd heard about it.

"You sure?"

"Yep." Sarah didn't buy it. Something had been going on with Juice lately. First that night he'd turned up at her house practically scared, then pushing her away, and now this.

"Okay, thanks." She went to turn away but Tig called out to her again and she stopped, turning back to face him as he walked over to her.

"How's Asher ?" Sarah shrugged.

"She's hanging in there." The man remained passive. "I mean, if anyone can survive getting shot point blank three times, it's Asher."

"Yeah, you go that right." Sarah rose her eyebrow. She wasn't aware that Asher and Tig were that close. "I was there when she got shot the last time."

_What? _

"What do you mean when she got shot the last time?" Tig held up his hands in apology.

"Sorry kid, I didn't mean to…"

"When?" He must have realised he'd stuck his foot far enough in his mouth for one day, because he stepped back and turned away from her, heading towards the office. "Hey!" She watched his retreating back, but he never once looked back.

Well this was a new revelation. She'd seen the scar on Ashers stomach, but she'd never been told how she'd gotten it. No-one ever mentioned what had happened when Happy had gone to LA years ago looking for Asher. That was the only time she could think that something like that had happened.

Getting in her car, Sarah pulled out of the lot and headed down the road towards the police station. She'd deal with Ashers lying ass later, for now she had to find out where Juice was.

Pulling onto the curb in front of the refurbished Charming PD, she sat back in her seat and waited.

She wasn't waiting long because five minutes later she saw the front doors open and she sat up in the seat, only to gasp at the sight of Collie Dennis walking out the doors. She knew he'd called Happy earlier but what was he doing at the cop station? As his eyes surveyed the area, Sarah ducked down in her seat, trying not to be spotted, which probably wasn't the easiest in the bright green Prius.

If he noticed her, he didn't say anything, instead walking down the stairs and around the back of the police station- no doubt disappearing.

Once she was back in her seat properly she settled in again. Thirty- six minutes later, she saw Juice walk out the front of the building and she got out of the car and leant against it, catching his eye as he walked down the stairs. Crossing her arms across her chest she watched him walk towards her. Things had been so out of control when he'd been at the house that morning that she hadn't taken the time to assess him. He'd been shot a few days ago, that evident in the limp he was sporting, but it was the weariness on his face that she noticed. And as he approached, the purple bruises on his neck.

_Jesus Christ._

Not a single other thought entered her mind. She knew exactly what those bruises meant.

"What have you done?" She whispered when he reached her.

"Sarah…" He started but she looked up at the police station then back at the bruises on his neck.

"Oh my god." He'd betrayed the club. He'd ratted on the club then tried to kill himself. "Oh my god." She couldn't help the sob that clawed at her throat as she covered her mouth in shock.

"Sarah…I'm sorry." He rasped, but Sarah just felt sick and her chest hurt. Like her heart had been ripped out. "I'm so sorry." The glassiness of his eyes told her that he was on the verge of tears too. "I'm so sorry." He repeated and Sarah couldn't help but pull him close by the lapels of his cut and wrap her arms around him, just like Happy had when he'd found her in a bathtub of water and her own blood. "I'm so sorry, Sarah." He sobbed into her neck as she squeezed him to her tightly. "I'm so scared."

"Shh. It's okay." Sarah soothed. It was far from alright, but she couldn't do anything to push him away. She knew how he felt. She knew that this was hurting him. And she couldn't help that she loved him too much to push him away. "We'll make it okay." She promised. She'd make sure no one ever knew about this. She'd be the woman that Asher had taught her to be and defend Juice to the end. Hell, she knew it was only a matter of hours before Happy took down SAMCRO, she could back her protector with that. So she could back the man that she'd fallen in love with for this.

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><p>"You sure you want to go through with this?" Jax asked as he stood at the front of his house and Happy swung off the bike.<p>

"It's already in motion brother." Yeah, there was no turning back now.

"Yeah but can ya do this?" Happy stiffened. People kept asking him that. Didn't they fuckin' get it? Asher was more important than the club. He wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for the girl lying in the hospital bed.

"Brother, if she doesn't pull through, if he gets to her again, what am I sposed to tell my kid when he's old enough to ask about her? Am I 'sposed to look my son in the eye and tell him that I let her killer get away, that I let it go 'cause of the club?" He barked and swallowed hard.

"Aight." The VP shrugged and Happy gritted his jaw. "Spose we better find where he's at." At the mention of Clay, his phone started to ring and Happy pulled it out, flipping it open without looking at the caller ID, thinking it was someone from the hospital.

"Yeah?"

"Brother." He recognised Tigs voice immediately.

"Whatdya' want?" Happy snapped. Fuck his so called brother. He'd been there when Asher had been in hospital the first time. He knew why Happy had no choice but to do this.

"Clays here at the Clubhouse, just rolled in. Thought you might like ta know." He wasn't sure where this show of brotherhood had suddenly come from, but he was fucking thankful.

"Aight." He went to hang up, but heard Tig say his name.

"I'll clear the joint out. Koz's sitting with ya girl."

"Thanks bro." hanging up Happy looked over at Jax. "Clubhouse."

"Easy enough." Jax shrugged and got onto his bike, Happy following suit. Happy wasn't oblivious to this strange new friendship he and Jax had struck up, but they all had a stake in this now. Happy had Asher, Jax had his old man and Piney. Shit, he hadn't even thought about Opies old man. "Lets go."

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><p>Roosevelt leafed through the documents that had been placed on his desk during his meeting with Juan Carlos Ortiz. Faxed straight from Royce Masterson over at Tacoma Sheriffs Department. Looked like the guy had a very interesting theory for in front of him was Bill Haydens report, notes scribbled all over it in messy scrawl, but pointing out the obvious.<p>

_Murder._

Several other documents showed various dates and names. One in particular caught his eye.

The name at the top was a name that until this morning he'd never heard of:

_Matilda Morrow_

From his small amount of research, Matilda was the name of both Asher Haydens mother and grandmother. The grandmother, after her husband Asher Morrow Senior had died, had remarried. A prominent member of the Mafia no doubt. It seemed the more he delved into Asher Haydens background, the more he was convinced that Asher was involved in something very bad.

Reading down the report he noted the notes that Royce had made. Gang related violence was the obvious conclusion in Ashers mothers death, but it seemed Royce had done some digging since meeting the elusive Miss Hayden. He wrote about quotes from witnesses, police interviews. Man, this guy had been obsessed.

Jesus, that's how Colin Dennis was involved in this. He was Ashers friend from grade school. He was a private detective. He'd gone back to Asher after an investigation. He was invested in helping Asher, into helping whatever she'd been involved in. That's why she'd filed the police report.

Because she knew someone was gunning for her.

The most obvious conclusion was Lowman. But he'd seen the mans face. Someone couldn't fake that kind of grief. He didn't need forensic evidence to know that the man was torn up over this. He was probably going after the killer right now.

Who was he going after?

Glaring at the reports one crazy notion flittered into his head, but he pushed it out.

_No way would that ever happen._

* * *

><p>Clay was making the most of the quiet in the chapel, in his 'old' seat at the head of the table. The gavel was locked in the safe, and Bobby had changed the combination. Looking apologetic the whole damn time. But that's where it would stay until an acting president was decided on.<p>

Hours ago, when he'd first sat at the table to vote, he'd been certain that he'd still be at the head of the table when the meeting was over. He'd been certain that Jax and Happy and Juice would back him. The whole time he'd thought Bobby was his main concern.

"Why'd you do it?" Clay lifted his head to see Tig standing in the doorway.

"Why did I do what?" he asked.

"Never mind." The Sargent went to walk out but Clay was on his feet.

"Why did I do what?!" he bellowed at the man but Tig just shrugged apologetically and walked out. Tig had never been one for apologies. Clay started after him, but the doors of the chapel came open before he had a chance and he pulled up at the sight of Happy.

"Clay." Happy rasped and Clay stepped back. He'd known the killer a long time. He'd seen him kill before. And for some reason, that thought sent a chill down his spine.

"How's ya girl Hap?" Trying to act nonchalant, he went over and sat in his old seat. "Missed ya at Church." Happy nodded, as if contemplating something before leaning against the back of Tigs empty chair.

"Took me awhile to realise it ya know. Why you went after her after all this time." Happy rasped and Clay stiffened.

"What did you just say to me?"

"I said, I finally worked out why you tried to kill her," he rasped, starting to circle the table and Clay couldn't help that feeling like he was prey, about to be slaughtered by his superior predator. And if anyone was a superior predator, it was Happy. Shit, he'd said it numerous times that he was glad Happy was on his side because he knew if Happy turned, he'd be dead. "Yeah, you didn't count on Asher tellin' me did ya?" He asked and Clay swallowed hard.

_No he hadn't. _

Asher had proven time and time again that she could keep a secret from Happy, and he'd used it to his advantage, always reminding Asher that Happy would always choose the club. And Asher would always choose whatever made Happy 'happy'.

"Don't know what you're talking about brother."

"Nah?" Happy stopped his circling and rose an eyebrow. "Not even you threatening to hand me over for killing her boyfriend if she didn't leave me? You never fuckin' learn Clay." He growled as he began to stalk his prey again.

"Watch who the fuck you're talking to." Clay snapped, despite his fear and before he could even utter another word Happy flew across the room and had him pressed up against the wall, the sound of the chair hitting the floor echoing around the room as he felt Happys leather clad large fingers wrap around his throat. "You kill me the club will come after you."

"You don't think I put all my ducks in a row Clay?" Happy growled back and Clay knew Happy felt his adams apple bob as he swallowed thickly. Happy was right. He was the got to killer because he planned meticulously.

"So you're just going to kill me?" he asked as Happy released him and stepped away.

"I'd rip ya' fuckin' heart out and watch you flap around like a fuckin' fish, but it ain't my call." Then Clay watched with widened eyes as he pressed himself up against the wall, and Happy reached into his hoodie and pulled out one of his guns. With gloved hands, Happy flicked off the safety and held it up to Clays chest.

"This was not how it was supposed to happen." Clay muttered. He'd been planning this for the last ten years. It wasn't meant to end like this.

"Yeah, put a dint in ya' perfect circle theory didn't it?" Happy growled and Clay swallowed hard again. "I ain't Frank Hayden Clay. And Asher ain't Molly. This is goin' to end here." Then moved his finger and Clay swore he wouldn't pull the trigger.

But he was wrong.

* * *

><p>The loud knocking at the door had Juice getting up from the kitchen where he and Sarah had been sitting quietly, waiting for any word on Happys whereabouts.<p>

"Stay here." He ordered Sarah, as he tucked his gun into the back of his jeans and walked over to the front door, glancing out the curtain to see Roosevelt standing on the porch. "Shit."

"Who is it?" Sarah had disobeyed him and was standing in the hallway looking at him curiously.

"The cops."

"Here, let me deal with it." She said, stepping forward and shoving him away. "Go." Sarah watched as he headed back to the kitchen before pulling the door open and smiling up at the cop on the porch. "Hi."

"Ma'am." He nodded. "I'm Lieutenant Roosevelt from the San Joaquin Sheriffs Department. I'm looking for mister Happy Lowman." He said and Sarah shrugged.

"He's not here."

"Isn't this where he lives?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and Sarah nodded. "Do you know where he is?"

"Nope." Sarah replied.

"And you're just staying here, by yourself?" He asked and Sarah narrowed her eyes. He was a very very nosy individual.

"No, I live here."

"And you are?" He asked.

"I'm Sarah, Ashers daughter."

Of all the outcomes of today, Roosevelt had not been expecting to come face to face with yet another girl he'd never heard of until that morning.

Sarah Stevenson.

The little girl that upon further research had been abducted and raped in the back room of a Tacoma bar at the tender age of eight, was now standing in front of him, a full blown woman. The pictures in the file had shown a little blonde girl with pale blue eyes, and now that he scrutinized the girl in front of him, he could see the similarities.

She reached up and brushed away a strand of hair off her face, he saw the tattoo that covered the thick pink scar where she'd slit her wrists at the age of fifteen. And yet again she was saved by the Tacoma Killer. The man that had found her in a bathtub and called the paramedics, before donating his blood for a transfusion to save the teenagers life.

"So, what'ya want Hap for?"

"Just got a few questions for him." Roosevelt replied as the teenager continued to glare at him. "You see him, you get him to give me a call." He held out a card and Sarah jerked her brow, but took it anyway before Roosevelt turned around to walk away.

"Hey." He turned around to look at Sarah expectantly. "I hope you know that Happy would never hurt Asher. If that's where this is leading," she held the card up between her fingers, "he would do anything to protect us. Asher never deserved any of this- but it's not Haps fault. He'd do anything for her- he'd kill for her." She said sternly before turning around and slamming the door behind her.

He'd just reached the car when he heard his radio crackle to life, calling his name.

"Yeah?"

"Lieutenant Roosevelt, there's been another shooting at Teller-Morrow."

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><p>AN: I know there's a lot going on in these last few chapters but I am really trying not to make a hundred chapters! Anyway I hope you enjoyed- let me know - REVIEW x


	81. Chapter 81

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all the people who reviewed! I think I got back to all of you =D. To **NoleGirl **and the guest reviewer (I hope that was a good shiiiiiiiitttt not a bad one) thank you for your reviews. I really hope you enjoy this chapter x

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighty- Without You <strong>

_Hello, hello  
>Can you hear me<br>I can be your china doll  
>If you want to see me fall<br>Your loves so good  
>Your love is deadly<br>Tell me life is beautiful  
>They all think I have it all<br>It all means nothing  
>Without you<em>_**  
>-Lana Del Rey<strong>_

"Shit bro, you couldn't've used a silencer?" Jax came flying into the chapel as Happy glared down at the lifeless body on the ground. Happy glanced up at Jax with a pointed look and Jax closed his mouth. "Aight, lets go, cops'll be here any minute."

Happy nodded and threw the gun in his hand into Clays lap.

Yeah, this was done for the moment. He'd deal with the rest of it later.

Pulling off his gloves, he stepped out of the chapel to see a few of his other brothers milling around in the clubhouse.

"Someun' called the cops- the sirens started 'bout a moment ago." Chibs said, puffing on a cigarette. "Betta' roll." He jerked his head towards the door and they all nodded, filing out and doing their best to put on a show of going to their bikes.

"Aight, Chibs take off. Tig you too, me an' Hap will deal with the cops."

"Come on man, you can't just shun me off." Tig whined and Hap felt some of his weight off his shoulders.

"Well who's gunna tell Ope?" Jax asked, looking at Tig.

"I dunno, make a fuckin' prospect do it." Jax dropped his chin in the typical Teller-don't-fuck-with-me move and Tig rolled his eyes. "I'll call Bobby."

"Good. Aight…" Jax trailed off as the cops swung into the lot and Happy straightened up as they all watched the cops flew out of the cars and pointed their guns at them.

"On the ground!" Happy went down on his knees, just like the rest of his brothers, face down on the asphalt.

"Well, well what do we have here?" Black shiny boots were on the asphalt in front of Happys face and he didn't need to look up to know that it was that nosy brass that had been looking out for his girl.

"Roosevelt!" Someone shouted across the lot. "You better take a look at this."

* * *

><p>Roosevelt looked down at the four sons that were face down on the pavement. Happy Lowmans bald head was at his feet and he had so many questions for him. But he followed the sound of his deputy into the clubhouse, intrigued as to what he was going to find.<p>

Walking into the clubhouse, he followed the Deputy through the large bar area towards the makeshift doors of their meeting room. He surveyed the room, there was nothing changed. Except behind the head of the table, slumped against the wall, he legs at an odd angle was the SAMCRO President Clay Morrow. Three solid bullets to the chest.

"My how the mighty fall." Roosevelt muttered under his breath as he took in the scene.

"You think it was the cartel?" Someone whispered in his ear and Roosevelt shook his head.

No, he didn't think that.

He had a whole new theory.

And it had nothing to do with cartels, Russians or even bikers.

And for some reason he composed himself and looked up at the deputy and spoke.

"Get statements from everyone here then cut them loose." He muttered.

"But boss…"

"Twenty-four hours ago, a young girl was shot in her own home. We got a witness saying he saw three big white guys in a black SUV leaving the house. First an Old Lady, then this?" Roosevelt rose his eyebrow at the deputy who nodded.

"You think this is retaliation?"

Roosevelt nodded.

This was definitely retaliation. But maybe not for the dead Russians found on the Charming Heights site a few weeks ago. Probably something a _lot _more recent.

Walking out into the lot, he saw the four Sons now speaking to the various cops talking them. Alexander Trager was throwing a fit, whilst the scot and Jackson Teller were speaking quietly to their respective officers. Happy Lowman stood there arms crossed across his chest, a serious look on his face as he glared back silently at the questions being asked.

"Give me a moment with Mister Lowman." He said quietly to the cop who took off, withered by the mans glare, before Roosevelt was on the receiving end of that black glare.

"The sooner you speak, the sooner you can get back to your Old Lady and your kid."

"I told your lackey, we just got here. We know nothin' 'bout whatever happened." He shrugged and Roosevelt gritted his teeth.

"You want to know what happened?" Roosevelt asked loudly, so he had the attention of all four men. "Your president has been shot, dead." He practically shouted and looked around the group, seeing the surprise on their faces, Trager throwing another shit fit and the scot joining in.

"What'ya mean he's dead?" Jackson Teller pushed through the throng of people towards him, but Roosevelts attention was on Happy Lowman. Who hadn't even flinched at his words.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Roosevelt turned his attention to the young man who was putting on a good show. "We have a witness that says he saw Russians at Asher Haydens house. Is there any link between this?" He asked, hoping if they were going to completely lie to him, they'd at least down their background.

"Ashers Clays niece." Roosevelt nodded. This could work.

"Alright get home to your families. We'll be pulling each of you in for questioning in the next few days. You better all have your stories straight." He glared at Happy Lowman.

_Yeah, I know what you've done _.

But for some reason he couldn't justify arresting Lowman. For some reason the image of that young woman in the hospital haunted him. After reading the files, he couldn't justify taking the only one that she had left, the only one that could protect her, away from her.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Trager snapped and Chibs nodded, just as a black SUV pulled into the lot and Gemma Teller Morrow came running over.

"What happened?" She gasped as she reached them, and it was Jackson that caught her in his arms and whispered the words to her. Roosevelt watching on as Gemma fell apart in her sons arms. Crying loudly at the news of her dead husband.

He wondered if Gemma knew what the four men in front of her had been involved in.

* * *

><p>"What's going on?" Sarah looked up at Juice sleepily from her spot on the couch as Juice flipped his cell shut and looked down at her.<p>

"That was Hap, he's on his way home." Sarah rubbed at her eyes tiredly and pushed herself up. Bella and Lorca had taken off to a hotel, while Nora slept in Sarahs bed. None of them were stupid enough to go anywhere near Happy and Ashers room. Sarah knew that even Happy had avoided it. The door had been left open though, because Grumpy had curled himself up on the bed and refused to move, even though Sarah had called and called him.

"Oh, okay." She kind of hoped that Happy would choose to go back to the hospital so she could actually talk to Juice. The last few hours, as they'd waited to hear from Happy had been filled with silence as they just lay together quietly on the couch. "Did he say what had happened?" She asked quietly. She knew Happy and Asher had a pretty open for information relationship, but she wasn't sure that Juice would feel the same.

"Clays dead." Juice said quietly.

"Dead?"

"Cops think it was Russians." Juice said quietly and Sarah knew that there was an underlying message there. Happy had said it at the table that morning, which felt like days ago. He'd said that Clay had been the one that had shot Asher.

Before she could open her mouth though, a Harley could be heard from outside. Sarah jumped off the couch as the door came open and Happy stepped in. Sarah couldn't help it, she flew across the living room and threw her arms around her uncle, burying her face in his hoodie and holding him tightly.

"Hey kid." He said gruffly and she felt his hand come up to her back and give it a small rub before he pushed her away. "Where's Peter?" He growled and Sarah jerked her head towards the hall. "Aight, well I'm gunna head over to the hospital. You right to stay here brother?" He asked, turning his attention to Juice who nodded. "That fuckin' dog gotten off the bed yet?" He asked as he headed down the hall and Sarah called a 'no' after him.

Looking back to Juice, Sarah smiled softly. She got her wish. She had him all to herself for the rest of the night.

"What're you smiling about?" Juice whispered as he stepped towards her.

"Yeah, what _are _you smilin' about?" Sarah and Juice both jumped and whipped around to see Happy had returned. "Keep ya filthy fuckin' hands off her." He glared and pointed a finger at Juice before pressing a kiss to Sarahs head and leaving.

"So?" Juice stepped back towards her and Sarah grasped at his cut and pulled him closer, trying to ignore the bruises on his neck as she looked up at him. But she couldn't do it. She hated people touching her scars, but should couldn't help but reach out and touch the purple marks, only to have him jerk away from her. "Don't."

"Why?" She felt that familiar feeling of rejection creeping its way up to her throat.

"Why did I do it?" He reiterated. "I thought it was obvious."

"No." Sarah stuffed her hands in her jean pockets and shrugged. "Why did you think you couldn't talk to me about this?"

"What was I supposed to say Sarah? Have you seen your family? You're the fucking golden child of SAMTAC. Happy and Koz would kill me and I didn't want to hurt you." He whispered the last part. "You don't deserve it."

"So you decided to kill yourself?" She snapped and saw those puppy dog eyes come out full force. "How could you even consider it?"

"Because the club would have done it anyway. At least that way I went out quickly and you didn't get the blow back." He replied and Sarah felt her blood boil.

"I wouldn't get the blow back? You'd be dead Juice! How could I _not_ be affected by that?" She tried to keep her voice down for Petey and Nora, but she couldn't help the tears that pushed their way into her eyes. "Don't you fucking get it? You've already hurt me- you pushed me away, you did something that I know from personal experience does not fix anything."

She saw Juice swallow thickly. She never spoke about trying to kill herself. That and the rape, it was too hard to say the words out loud. Two events that followed her around constantly that she couldn't talk about.

Juice just stood quietly and Sarah huffed. She was so angry at him right now.

_How could he be so stupid? _

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I know." She muttered. She knew he was sorry. He hadn't had another attempt. He regretted the decision.

"Please don't hate me." He whispered and Sarah relented, walking forward and wrapping her arms around him again.

"I don't hate you Juice." She said into his t-shirt. "I just wished you knew you could come to me with this."

It's what Asher would have said if this was Happy, or Sarah, or hell, even Juice. Asher was always there for everyone in her own way.

* * *

><p>The first thing Asher heard was the sound of a heart monitor. It's constant beeping reminding everyone she was alive. Panic ripped through her as she assessed the sounds around her, the heart monitor distracting her.<p>

_Beep _

_Beep_

It felt like she'd been asleep for days, taking a deep breath she winced at the pain in her stomach. Shit, she knew that feeling. Forcing her heavy eyelids open she saw a white ceiling and fluorescent lights. She was definitely in hospital. She'd been shot and she was in hospital.

Dropping her head to the side and ignoring the white ceiling and walls she caught sight of the figure in the chair.

_Happy_

He was slumped heavily in the chair, his cut missing as his fist propped up his head. His eyes were closed and Asher knew he was sleeping otherwise he would have said something by now. She made the most of the chance to just look at him. He looked tired. There were bags under his eyes and a thick stubble, speckled with grey hair across his jaw line. She swore he hadn't looked like that last time she'd seen him. It would only have been two days ago. What had happened?

_Oh right_

She'd been shot. She was in hospital. He'd been left with Petey. The panic welled up as she remembered her baby and she tried to move but her arm felt heavy and her stomach burned. Slumping back on the bed she turned her attention back to Happy.

"Hap." She whispered hoarsely. Surprised at how dry her throat felt but even more surprised when his eyes snapped open and he was up beside the bed. "Hey." She rasped, forcing a smile onto her lips and he leaned over her .

"Asher." His voice was so gravelly it was almost soothing.

"Hey Killer." The tickle in her throat got the better of her and she couldn't help but cough. "Lookin' for a booty call?"

Suddenly a cup was thrust in her face and she felt it pressed to her lips.

"Drink." This was the Happy she knew. Commanding. Bossy. Happy. She let the cool fluid run down her throat and gulped it down, nodding when she'd had enough. "I should give you a fuckin' hidin' for pulling a stunt like that." He growled at her as he pulled the cup away from her lips.

"Thanks."

"I gotta get a doctor." He went to walk away but Asher managed to snag his hoodie with her good arm.

"Don't go." Then he surprised her, leaning over her and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I ain't going anywhere sweetheart." He promised and Asher felt her heart ache at the endearment. So un-Happy like before he left. Asher sighed, closing her eyes as she heard the door close and voices outside.

What felt like seconds later, she heard the creak of the door again and a man in a white coat walked in. She didn't recognise the doctor, but he had a smile on his face as he picked up her chart and read through it.

"Miss Hayden." Asher could see Happy lurking outside the open doorway and she forced herself to pay attention to the doctor. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Asher answered.

"Do you know what day it is?" He asked, eyebrow raised and Asher bit her lip.

"Thursday?" She asked quietly and saw the eyebrow went higher. "What?"

"It's Saturday." Three days? She'd been asleep for three days?

_Shit._

Where was Petey over that three days?

"Petey. Where's my son?" She gasped, trying to shift but the doctor held his hand up.

"Please Miss Hayden, your son is fine. He's here everyday to see you with his father." Asher swallowed thickly. "Now, I just need to run a few tests." He came closer to her but Asher looked up at him questioning.

"How bad was it?" She whispered, not wanting to alert Happy to her worry.

"Three gunshot wounds." The doctor replied just as quietly. "Two in the stomach, one in your arm. Luckily there was no serious damage from either, but you required a blood transfusion on site after crashing in the ambulance." Ashers eyes widened. "You also sustained some head injuries and there was some brain swelling."

"The coma was induced?" She asked weakly.

"Yes." Asher nodded in recognition and let him commence his tests.

* * *

><p>When the doctor was finished, she looked up at Happy in standing in the doorway. She gave him a weak smile.<p>

"Where's Petey?"

"At home with my Ma." He replied, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. "She takes him for the nights. How're ya feelin'?" Finally he stepped closer and Asher gave him another small smile.

"Like I've been shot." She whispered and saw him flinch before the stone hard face was back in place. "I'm sorry. I should have been more careful." She sighed and he came to sit beside her bed. "I should have had my gun…you look tired."

He ran a hand over his stubble and shrugged.

"What'd you tell the cops?" She whispered.

"Nothin'." He muttered in return and Asher tried to shift in the bed but it hurt too much and sent a pain through her abdomen.

"Good." She muttered. "I don't want anyone else involved in this." The last thing she needed was the club going after Clay.

"Your right." He rolled his head on his shoulders and Asher narrowed her eyes at him. "I dealt with it, no one else involved."

_Shit._

_What had he done?_

Asher pushed herself up in the bed despite the stinging pain in her entire body.

"What do you mean? I mean, it was random- I don't even know who did it." She lied but he was on his feet and towering over her.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me Asher. You can't protect him anymore." He snapped and Asher froze from her struggle as she took in the man towering over her. His jaw tense, his hand gripping the railing beside her bed.

Her protector.

Her lover.

Her Happy.

"He's dead?" She rasped and he nodded. "Why?"

"Because no one touches my family," He snapped again, "no-one, _ever_ hurts _my _family." Asher couldn't believe what she was hearing. She reached out with her good arm and wrapped her fingers tightly in the fabric of his hoodie. He ignored her hand, instead glaring at her, as if daring her to speak. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart." He said after a minute or two and Asher released his hoodie and sighed.

He'd never called her sweetheart in his whole life. She couldn't imagine the pain he was in right now.

"I'm so sorry." She choked, unable to stop the tears streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry I did this." She heard the familiar clicking of the bar beside her bed getting dropped and felt the mattress dip as Happy leant on the bed.

"Jesus, Asher, don't cry." He barked and Asher sniffed and nodded. "You're aight. Just get some rest." He ordered and she nodded again. "I ain't going anywhere." He promised and with those words Asher let herself drift off.

* * *

><p>"How's she doin'?" Asher could hear Koziks familiar voice when she woke next, but refused to open her eyes.<p>

"She woke up for a bit last night. Bit out of it, ya know." It was Happys voice that answered the question and Asher let it soothe her body.

"She know what happened?"

"Yeah…she ain't happy." She could imagine Happy rubbing the back of his neck in frustration.

"You did the right thing brother. The way Opie cracked it this morning when he heard about Piney, lucky you did it first. Clean, efficient, and the club backed it. Don't regret it." Kozik spoke, the only brother besides Lorca that would be game enough to speak to Happy so frankly.

"Yeah, where'd Lorca and Bully get with our other problem?"

"Hit a snag. Don't worry, they got the best of the best on the job." Kozik laughed and Asher felt Happy move, not realising how close to her he was.

"Yeah well Collie's a weird fuck, but he's good at his job."

"Collie?" It was her voice that spoke next. Asher hadn't even realised the name was past her lips until her eyes opened slowly and she saw Happy leaning over her.

"Hey welcome back Jailbait." Koz called and Asher dropped her head so she could see him watching her from the far wall.

"Hey Herman." She coughed, turning her attention back to Happy. He'd been home and showered and shaved by the look of it. "What happened to Collie?"

"He's alright, darlin'. Got caught in a tight spot, but you know Coll." It wasn't Happy that answered and she wondered what that tight spot was briefly before Koz mentioned that he had somewhere to be and left, leaving Asher and Happy staring at each other.

"Your fuckin' dog won't get off the bed at home." He said after a minute, taking a seat in the chair beside the bed. "He's pining away for ya like some fuckin' pussy." Asher couldn't help smiling at the idea that the dog was pining away for her at home, yet Happy had been clearly sleeping by her bedside. Knowing better than to point it out though Asher bit her lip and tried to compose herself.

Clay was dead.

Happy had killed him.

Despite everything that Happy stood for, he'd gone and he'd shot his President.

"Do I need to be worried about you?" She said quietly watching his brow furrow as he leant back in the chair.

"Nuh."

"You've got to give me more than that Hap. You just killed the president of the fucking mother charter!" She wheezed.

"You want the truth?" he asked and Asher nodded. "I cleared it with the club. Every member backed me on this decision. It wasn't just you." He told her seriously and Asher swallowed thickly. "Clay killed Piney as well. If he'd killed you, I woulda torn his fuckin' heart out Asher. The club knew that."

"What if the cops find out? What if the club changes it's mind? What am I going to do without you?" She started to cry and Happy was on his feet.

"Asher, I'm not going anywhere." Promising again as he leant over her and Asher looked up at him through blurry vision.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, for the moment." Asher nodded, that was good enough.

* * *

><p>"So, think we need to talk about what happened last night." Teller Morrow was a crime scene until lunchtime, so the Sons were gathered outside the gun warehouse, which was the safest place for them to meet. Happy sat off to the side, quietly, while Tig and Juice flanked him.<p>

It had only been twelve hours since Clay had been killed.

"Any of ya have a problem, I think its time to speak up." Jax said loudly and met silence. Well, it was said and done now. Nothing they could do to prevent it, but he could prevent Happy getting any backlash.

The last couple of days, he'd really grown to respect Happy. Despite their previous conflicts over certain jobs, Jax had let Happy have his way with this one. He had a right to this. Over the years, Jax had watched Asher and Happys relationship grow, seen how Clay had tried to keep them apart, but in the end they'd pulled through. If anyone deserved a right to be happy- it was them. Choosing his girl over the club was something that Jax always said he'd do, but Happy had actually done it.

"Look, President will go to a vote. Bobby…" He turned to Bobby who was sitting by quietly. "You'll get your chance."

"I don't know about anyone else, Jax, but I don't see a need to vote. The president I want is the one standing in front of us." He said seriously and Jax looked around at the rest of the club. The rest of them still seemed to be reeling from what had happened last night.

"Like I said, once we're back in the chapel, everyone will get their say." He looked over at Happy. "Where are we at with the good policeman?"

"Collie and Sarah did their part. He either believes its Russians or he knows and he's gonna let it slide. I dunno. It was fuckin' hard work getting Shaun Mitchell on side for this one." Happy sighed and Koz clapped.

"Ay, looks like we owe the Tacoma Sheriff one!"

"No fuckin' kidding." Jax laughed.

The plan had gone perfectly.

Collie had been the nominated party to go and give a false witness report. Ashers missing person report on him was a sure fire way to get the Lieutenant on side. They were all men, they knew how other men acted when it came to girls like Asher. Pretty little damsels in distress. So, with Ashers assurance that Collie was a good guy because she was worried about him, it was too easy to get the false statement done and the seed planted.

The attack was their leverage. Happy hadn't been keen about using Sarah and Ashers worst nightmares to keep them out of jail, but it worked. Lorca had done his work with the Tacoma Sheriff, who also had a soft spot with Happys girl, and the moment that Roosevelt had started calling Tacoma for information, Shaun Mitchell had assured them he had a card up his sleeve to get the whole story relayed to Roosevelt.

And it had been superb. Roosevelt turning up on Ashers doorstep asking for Happy, Sarah playing the protection card. Further forcing the point that if Happy was gone, Asher wouldn't survive.

Sometimes men were just too predictable. They could get Happy off if it came down to it, but it was so much easier to have Roosevelt wrapped around Ashers finger.

"So, where are our Tacoma brothers at with the other problem?"

"Like I told Hap before, it's disappeared for the time being, but we got Collie working on it. Dude can find a needle in a haystack." Kozik said and Jax nodded.

"Aight. Well look, I know this is a blow to a lot of you. Go home, take some time. Chapel tomorrow." They all nodded and headed towards their bikes. Jax had just swung his leg over his bike when Bobby called his name.

"Where's Ope?"

"Arranging things for his Old Mans funeral." Bobby nodded. "I gotta go see where he's at now."

* * *

><p>"Miss Hayden." Asher looked away from the television to see Lieutenant Roosevelt standing in the doorway. Using her mobile arm to flick the tv off with the remote, Asher turned her attention to the policeman.<p>

"Come in." He walked in and looked up at the television.

"Anything good on?"

"I was never much of a television watcher." She shrugged. "Daytime telly blows." He gave her a small smile. "What can I help you with?"

"Just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine." Asher gave him a weak smile. "As fine as someone being shot three times can be anyway."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He said sincerely and Asher shrugged, wincing when the movement tugged on her stomach. "Do you have any idea what happened?" He asked and Asher shook her head, lying through her teeth.

"No, I mean, I was at home and the washing machine was on so I couldn't hear anything and next thing I know, they hit me." She bit her split lip and winced again. "I must have hit my head or something."

"You gave your old man quite a scare." He chuckled and Asher smiled softly.

"Nothing scares Happy." She said sweetly. Because in her mind, Happy was the bravest person in the world along with Sarah.

"You really love him don't you?" Roosevelt asked and Asher was too tired to lie, or skirt around the issue.

"If you knew Hap like I do, it's hard not to."

"Have you ever had anything to do with any Russians? Maybe met them at some event? Even in passing?" He was changing tactic. Or he was trying to get her to confirm something. She hated that Happy hadn't told her what his game plan was with this whole thing.

"I met a few at Lyla and Opies wedding a few weeks ago." She answered honestly.

"They see you with Happy?"

"Yeah, I guess. And Jax." She tried to remember all the people she'd been with at the wedding.

"Alright, well that corroborates with a few others things I've been informed of, I'll leave you to your television." He gave her a friendly smile.

"Um, can I ask you something?" She stopped his exit and he turned to face him.

"Yes?"

"The day I came into the station, I saw you with Juice." She saw his eyebrows raise. "He's a good kid. He's been good for Sarah. I don't want my daughter hurt." He nodded.

"Noted ma'am." He turned around and headed towards the door and she heard him speaking to someone before Tig Trager stepped into the room to replace him.

"How ya doin' doll?"

"Hi Tig." Of all her visitors she had not expected the Sargent at Arms. If anyone was against Happys actions, she was certain it was him. "Ah," She narrowed her eyes at him slightly, "what're you doing here?"

"I uh…" She swore she saw him shuffle slightly towards her and she tried to sit up but he held up his hand. "Don't get up, it's aight. I just wanted to say sorry." He said quietly and Asher cocked her head to the side and let him continue. "I was pretty harsh on Hap, 'bout this whole thing. I didn't wantcha to think that I thoughtcha were some gash."

"Hap hasn't said anything Tig." She said quietly. "Shouldn't you be telling him this?" It was strange for a man like Tig to be apologising for calling her a gash, she knew emotions and Tig had a very stressful relationship. Much like Happys with his emotions.

"Yeah, I know." Asher couldn't get over how nervous he looked. "Just…I hope you get better." He went to turn away but Asher called his name.

"I'm really sorry for what happened to Clay." She said honestly. "Happy loved him too, I just hope you know that you're not alone." He nodded and gave her a small smile.

"Thanks Asher." Then he was gone.

* * *

><p>Waking with a start Asher reached over the side of her bed for her watch on the table beside it. Picking up the heavy metal she saw it was nine o'clock at night. She'd just woken up from a really bad dream- like the ones she'd had back in Los Angeles after Sarahs attack, and it had left her with an uneasy feeling.<p>

Like something bad was about to happen.

She'd been expecting Happy hours ago- he'd promised to bring Petey around, but she hadn't seen him. Suddenly the uneasy feeling turned to prickling in her skin, starting from her toes and creeping up her spine.

The last time she'd had that feeling she'd been outside a room at the back of Jonesy's bar looking at Coach Ainsley.

Something was very wrong.

* * *

><p>Sarah wandered around the quiet house aimlessly. It was only nine o'clock and Nora was out for dinner with Bella and Lorca. They'd invited her along, but Sarah had insisted she had to stay home and look after Petey. After the last couple of days, she just needed some time alone.<p>

Juice had left earlier to go to the police station, and Sarah had wanted so desperately to go with him, but he'd insisted he needed to do it alone. He'd messaged her later with the words "it's okay" before Happy had called her and told her they had to go and deal with some club stuff.

If it hadn't been so late though, Sarah would have gone and seen Asher. She'd been to see her guardian earlier that day when Happy was down there. She'd been thinking that Asher would be different somehow, after surviving something like that. But she was exactly the same. Just the way Sarah needed her to be after the last few days.

The baby monitor on the kitchen bench started crackling and she heard Petey gurgling. Walking down the hall she went into the nursery and picked him up.

"Hey baby bro." She said holding him to her side. "You a bit hungry?" He grabbed at her ponytail and Sarah rolled her eyes. God he was grabby. He pulled anything he could get his hands on. "Come on."

Baby on her hip, Sarah went about making him a bottle when she heard a knock at the door. Handing Petey the bottle she headed towards the door.

"Who could that be, huh?" She asked, smiling at the thought of Juice being on the other side of the door, making her completely forget to check the window. Pulling the door open she stopped dead, her eyes wide.

"Hi Sarah."

"Uh, hey Dad."

* * *

><p>AN: ooooh so where's this going to lead? To the final few chapters maybe? REVIEW...please x


	82. Chapter 82

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! I'm sorry I didn't get around to replying to all of them! But your support for the last 82 chapters has been amazing and I'm sad to say that this is the second last chapter. The next chapter is the Epilogue and I'm kind of sad to see it end because I've grown to love my own characters so much. Anyways, thank you all for sticking with me through this, and I hope these next two chapters do it justice. Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighty-One – Safe and Sound <strong>

_I remember tears streaming down your face  
>When I said, I'll never let you go<br>When all those shadows almost killed your light  
>I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone<br>But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes_  
><em>The sun is going down<em>  
><em>You'll be alright<em>  
><em>No one can hurt you now<em>  
><em>Come morning light<em>  
><em>You and I'll be safe and sound<em>

_**-Taylor Swift**_

"Well you gunna let your old man in?" Sarahs father asked, leaning up against the doorframe.

"Uh…" Sarah was under strict instructions not to let anyone but Happy, Juice or Koz into the house, but she knew it was a useless cause trying to prevent her father coming. "Sure, come in." She gestured for him to come in and he did.

"Nice set up Asher's got here." He said looking around the room and Sarah shrugged. "You like living here?"

"It's great. Can I get you something to drink…Dad?" It had been a long time since she'd spent any real time with Blue. Hell, she spent more time with Koz and Happy than she did with Blue these days.

"Yeah, sure sweetheart." Sarah nodded, adjusting Petey on her hip and walking into the kitchen, knowing that her father was following her.

"What would you like? We have a bit of everything." Putting Petey in his jumper she turned around to face her father.

"A beer would be great."

"Beer, excellent." Sarah tried to shake the uneasy feeling she had as she pulled out a beer and passed it to her father. "So I thought you'd be back in Tacoma with Riley and the others." She said quietly.

"I went to Sacramento for a few days to see Thomas." He said, twisting off the top of the beer and taking a long sip. Sarah saw her other brother quite often when she was at College. Her and Thomas' relationship was different to hers and Rileys. Riley still vividly remembered those days back in Tacoma while Thomas had been away. "He said you're missing a few classes being here."

"I'm applying for an extension. Things have been really hectic with Asher being in hospital."

"Just try to get back there soon, Sarah. I don't want you to fail." He replied and took another sip of his beer.

"It's fine Dad, really." She gave him a smile for good measure. Looking down she saw Petey was starting to get sleepy again. "I'll be back, I've just gotta put the baby back to bed." Plucking the baby from his jumper, she headed down to the nursery.

She was just putting him down when she heard a familiar click behind her. Clutching Petey to her chest, she whirled around to see her own father standing there pointing a gun at her.

* * *

><p>"Ma'am, your change!" Asher ignored the cab driver as she staggered from the taxi and up her driveway. The Camaro was still parked in the drive, next to the bright green Prius that Sarah owned. With her arm in a sling and only wearing a pair of short shorts and one of Happys t-shirts, she padded, barefoot up the drive and onto the porch. It hurt to move. But her mind was going on a million miles an hour. For some reason she just felt like something was wrong. Reaching the screen door, she pulled it open quietly and pushed the wooden red door open, surprised that it wasn't locked. Even when she was home, Asher always locked the door. She didn't know why Sarah wouldn't have if she was home alone. Quietly she walked in, she kept quiet, just in case and headed down the hall. She didn't miss the pink stain on the carpet in the hallway and tried to push the images out of her head of Clay standing over her, pointing a gun at her.<p>

"What're you going to do?" Asher braced herself on the wall as she paused and listened to the voices.

"I'm going to finish what Clay started." Asher felt her heart in her throat. She knew Blues voice like it was her own fathers, hell he had been the closest she'd ever had to a father growing up. "We had a plan and I plan to follow through."

"You're going to kill your own daughter?" Asher could hear Sarahs voice wavering. She was scared for her life.

"Just give me the baby and it'll all be okay." Blue said calmly and Asher staggered forward a bit more.

"No, he's my brother."

"Sarah, he's not even related to you. How can you choose him over your own blood?" Blue seemed almost sad.

"He is my blood. For a few days when I was fifteen, the same blood ran through me. And I will always, always choose Happy over you." She snapped and Asher felt a great rush of pride in her daughter.

"Guess it won't make any difference if you're dead then."

"You won't." It was Asher that spoke as she stumbled into the nursery, seeing Sarah holding tightly to Petey as Blue swung around, pointing a gun at her chest and Asher felt her whole body stiffen. Taking a shuddering breath she summoned the courage she'd used when Ainsley had attacked her in LA and she'd begged Happy to shoot her so that he would be dead. Self-sacrifice.

And god help her if anyone got between her and her children.

"You hurt one hair on their heads, I swear to god I will take you apart piece by piece." She snarled, being the brave bitch that Happy had wanted her to be.

"Fine." Blue spat back. "You come in, they can go." Asher nodded, stepping all the way into the nursery to stand in front of Sarah and Petey.

"Asher…" Sarah started but Asher shot her a look.

"Go next door. No matter what, don't come back in here." She whispered at Sarah who's eyes widened. "Go."

Sarah clutched Petey even closer and nodded before running out of the room.

Once they were out of sight Asher fixed her gaze on Blue.

"I'm going to finish this."

"Oh my god…" Realisation dawned on Asher. "You stole the gun." She muttered. "You were the one that went after Collie and Spanner." She felt sick, and not just because of the pain that was ripping through her body from her wounds. "My dad?"

"He was my best friend once, you know? Until your mum was killed, then he lost it. He became a coward." Blue bit out, holding the gun up and Asher scoffed. "All because some pussy got mixed up with a wetback dick."

"Do you think killing me is going to be the end of this Blue? Clays dead…" She spat.

"Well I'll deal with the Russians…"

_What the hell? _

"You think the Russians killed Clay?" She asked, "Happy killed Clay, Blue. And you and I both know that if anything happens to me, he's going on a rampage." She saw Blue swallow thickly.

"Happy will accept what is right for the club." Blue hissed.

"Happy's off the leash." She whispered. Jax had unclipped Happy from the leash and let him loose, like a pitbull on anyone that brought harm to any of them.

"No way." Blue seemed surprised that Happy was loose. It was the only leverage she had at the moment. The only leverage to keep her and her children safe from Blue and Clays plan. "Shit."

"Clay never factored that in." Asher muttered, having to brace herself against the cot due to the burning in her abdomen. "Shit." Running her hand over her stomach she felt the fabric was damp and looked down to see her hand coated in blood. She'd split her stitches. "Right, so what now?" she rasped, looking up at Blue. "You going to kill me?"

"I can deal with Happy." Blue seemed to be mustering as much bravado as he could. "I'm ending this." The gun came up level with her chest. She stared at Blue, waiting for the trigger pull, before remembering something that Happy had said earlier. Blue seemed to be hesitating so she took her chance, whistling loudly and before Blue could understand what she was doing, Asher saw the pitbull soaring through the air and latching onto Blues arm, biting down hard. Blue let out a loud scream and dropped the gun. Asher fell to the floor and scrambled across it to the gun as Blue tried to shake Grumpy off, screaming and cursing at the dog.

Asher heard a whimper just as she'd reached for Blues gun and looked up to see Blue punch Grumpy in the nose, making the dog loosen it's grip and Blue lunged for her. Without further thought, Asher lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.

* * *

><p>For the second time in less than a week Happy was swinging off his bike and running towards his house. Sarah had called him frantically not five minutes ago saying that Blue was in the house with a gun and Asher. He didn't know why Asher was even there- she was meant to be under strict supervision at the hospital.<p>

"Happy!" He could see Sarah on the porch next door as he stepped onto his own porch and pointed a threatening finger at her.

"Stay there." He ordered, pulling open the door and taking his gun from his holster. "Asher?" He called out. Walking down the hall he stopped before each door and glanced around it, until he came to the nursery. "Asher?"

"Hap." Ashers voice was choked and Happy stepped into the nursery to see his girl on the floor against the cot, blood all over her face, staining her hair and all over her hands as she stared up at him wide-eyed. "I…I didn't mean to I swear." She sobbed and looked down in front of her where Blue Stevensons body was slumped on the carpet, a hole in the back of his head. Grumpy was sitting nearby, watching Happy intently, but all Happy could really focus on was how much blood was on his girl.

"What happened?" he rasped and saw the tears start to make tracks down her blood stained face.

"He…he…" She really started to sob this time, bringing her blood stained hands up to her face and burying her face in it. "I didn't mean to."

Happy finally snapped out of the shock he'd gotten at finding his Old Lady having killed his old President and strode over to her and picked her up by the shoulders, hearing her whimper in pain, one of her blood stained hands going to her stomach where he could see the dark patch of blood on her black t-shirt. She swayed unsteadily, her eyes closing and Happy felt his heart leap in his chest.

"Asher, you aight baby girl?" he asked, propping her up with one arm while reaching down and tugging her t-shirt up to see a blood soaked bandaged peeling away from the wound on her stomach.

"It hurts." She sobbed and he crushed her into his chest, feeling her knees give out under her, and he just managed to grab her before she fell, cradling her to his chest with her legs dangling over an arm.

"Come on, I'll get ya cleaned up." He muttered into her messy hair but she shook her head.

"Don't make me stay here." She sobbed and buried her head in his chest.

"Okay baby girl." He'd take her to the clubhouse, he'd get Tara to look at the stitches. He felt her grip tighten on his t-shirt and he knew first thing first, he had to get her out of there. "You doin' alright darlin'?" he asked quietly and felt her shake her head into his chest.

"No." She whispered.

_Shit._

He'd known Asher a long time. And even when Pete had died and she'd found out she was pregnant, she'd never been like this.

"Aight, girl, come on keep talkin' to me." He muttered, worried that if she drifted off, something bad would happen. He couldn't handle almost losing her again. "Come on." He coaxed and heard Asher sniff loudly.

"Do you hate me?" She whispered. He stopped his walk, standing in the hallway, over the pink stain in the carpet.

"What?" he choked.

"You loved Pete, Clay, you loved Blue…and now their dead. Because of me." She sobbed and he shook his head. His girl had lost it.

"Nah, Asher. Come on, stop thinkin' that morbid shit." He ordered and resumed his walk, heading out to the Camaro and pulling the door open, hearing it creak loudly as he deposited her on the bench seat. "Stay here." He ordered and turned around to see Sarah hurrying towards him, his son in her arms.

"What's going on?"

"Get in the car." He ordered, taking the baby from her. "Front seat." He jerked his head and Sarah paused.

"I need to get Grumpy, and some of the baby…" She started towards the house but Happy grabbed her arm.

"I'll get it." He said, handing back the baby. He knew what Asher had been so torn up over now. She'd shot Sarahs father. She was covered in his blood. "Here take the baby. Take your car, go to the clubhouse." He ordered and Sarah looked hesitant.

"Asher…"

"Just go, kid. _Please._" He insisted and Sarah nodded, carrying Petey towards her Prius, the baby capsule having been put in there days ago.

Striding into the house, he pulled out his cell and dialled.

"Yeah?"

"Yo, we got a problem. Gunna need a clean up. Hey, and get the doctor to the clubhouse." He said and heard Koz agree before he hung up and went rummaging around the house for a few items before whistling to the dog and going back out to the car where Asher was still sitting quietly. He opened the door and let the dog in before going to the back and checking on Asher. "Hey, you still with me girl?"

"Hmm." She said as he gripped her chin and looked at her face. "Please don't let Sarah see this." She whispered and he nodded.

"Yeah, girl." Letting her go, he went around to the front seat and got in, seeing bloody footprints on the leather upholstery where the dog had been moving around.

_Shit, everything was covered in blood._

Pulling out of the driveway he called Juice and asked him to take Sarah straight to his room. Keep her occupied and look after the baby until he dealt with Asher.

When he pulled into Teller Morrow, he got out and let the dog out, before going around to the back and picking Asher up and carrying her towards the clubhouse.

"What happened?" Tara came running out gloves already on her hands as she assessed the situation.

"The bloods not hers, she's pulled all her stitches but." He told the doctor, despite their earlier disagreement.

"Shit bro." Jax reached them and saw the girl in Happys arms. "What happened?"

"Blue happened." Happy growled.

"Koz is heading to your place now." Happy nodded.

"Aight, let me put her down and I'll come." He started but a small hand on his arm stopped him.

"If she's pulled her stitches, I'm going to need you here." Tara whispered and Happy furrowed his brow as Tara looked pointedly at the girl in his arms. "She's doesn't like being touched. I'm going to need you to help out."

"Shit." He sighed but Jax slapped him on the back.

"It's aight bro, take care of her."

"Don't go." He felt the hands on his chest tighten around the fabric of his shirt and he looked down to see Asher was still huddled close to his chest.

"Come on, maybe get her in a shower, then I'll fix the stitches." Tara said quietly and Happy nodded, feeling the slickness of blood on his arms, transferred from Ashers skin.

"Aight." Happy carried Asher into the quiet clubhouse and down the hall to the bathroom, stopping when the door before the bathroom cracked open and Sarah stepped out.

"Oh my god , Asher!" Sarah stepped forward but Happy held up his hand.

"Go back inside Sarah." He growled.

"But…"

"Now Sarah." He didn't mean to snap, but if she saw the full extent of Ashers damage, he didn't know if she'd handle it. He couldn't deal with Sarah falling apart when he could literally feel Asher crumbling in his arms.

"Okay." Sarah said quietly and stepped back into the room. Once the door was shut, Happy kept going for the bathroom, and kicking the door shut behind him. With one hand holding Asher to him, he started the shower and stepped back.

"Aight, Asher, we gotta get in the shower now." He said quietly, gently easing her down onto her feet. Once she was standing, he reached up and lifted her sling over her head, leaving her holding her arm up awkwardly. He couldn't just rip her shirt over her head. Reaching down he pulled his knife out of its sheath and gripped her t-shirt, putting the blade to the fabric and sliced through it, balling it up and throwing it in the corner, peeling off the bloody gauze and throwing it in the same direction. He then pushed the shorts from her hips and made sure she was stable before he ripped off his own clothes and boots and lifted her into the shower, holding her against him as they went under the spray. "Warm enough?" he asked as her head lolled back and the blood started to wash away from her skin.

"Mm, cold." Asher muttered and Happy reached around her and turned the heat up some more so it was almost burning their skin.

"How 'bout now?" she nodded and he focussed on getting the blood out of her long blonde hair, watching the pink tainted water swirl down the drain over her shoulder. Usually their showers together went a completely different way but he couldn't even think of how close she was pressed up against him. The only thing that he could think was how broken she seemed.

Once the blood was washed away, he reached for a towel and wrapped it around his girl, pulling her out of the shower.

"I'm sorry." Asher muttered.

"Shut up." He replied. He didn't want to have to deal with her when she was like this.

"Okay." She looked up at him with bright blue eyes and he reached up and brushed a thumb over the scabbed over lip before going back to the task at hand. Her shorts were still pretty clean, having been covered by her t-shirt. He helped her into them then found a wash cloth on the sink. He managed to get his cleaner t-shirt over her head and held it above her stomach, ordering her to hold the wash cloth to her stomach while he dressed. Once in his jeans and boots, Happy helped her down the hall to his old room, pushing the door open and helping Asher onto the bed. "Petey?" She asked as she lay down flat on her back and Happy ran a hand over her head.

"In a minute, babe." He whispered and then pulled away to go find Tara. He saw her wince and knew she was in the world of pain both physically and mentally, and he really had to keep himself in check to get her through this.

A few minutes later he returned with the doctor.

"Okay, it's probably best if you get up there with her. From what you've told me it sounds like she's in shock." Tara reached into the medical bag while Happy pulled Asher into his lap. "Alright, Asher?" Happy saw his girls head nod. "You've split the stitches on your stomach, I'm going to patch it up okay?" Another nod and Happy felt a hand on his own and he felt it tighten as Tara started to spread antiseptic on the wound.

Ten minutes later, she was sleeping quietly on the bed and Happy watched the doctor clean up.

"Ah…thanks doc." He muttered and Tara looked up at him before looking over at Asher.

"She didn't deserve any of this Happy." She said quietly and Happy nodded with agreement. "Just, try to keep an eye on her for a few days. She's volatile at the best of times- this is going to really throw her." Happy nodded again. He knew that. "Make sure she gets plenty of sleep and if she won't take painkillers, try a more natural approach- heat packs etcetera." Happy nodded again. "I'm going to go. Just call if you're worried about anything."

"Thanks." Tara gave him a tight smile before heading towards the hallway and leaving him staring at the sleeping girl on the bed.

"Can I come in?" he turned around and saw Sarah standing in the doorway with Petey on her hip.

"Yeah." He muttered, walking over and taking Petey from her and the sleepy child over to Asher and positioned him in next to his mother. "You watch your mother, little man." He ordered before turning around and looking at Sarah.

* * *

><p>Sarah nearly choked when Happy turned around from putting Petey down with Asher and spoke.<p>

"You wanna talk?"

_Did she want to talk? _

Did she really want to know what had happened in that house that had her guardian a crying, curled up mess on the bed while her Old Man looked on painfully?

"Well?" He growled and Sarah nodded mutely. "Aight, lets go." Sarah followed Happy out of the room and out into the clubhouse where there was still crime scene tape in front of the chapel. Happy saw her pause and put a hand on her back, pushing her outside into the night time. When he climbed onto a park bench, Sarah followed suit and took one of the cigarettes offered to her, leaning towards Happy so he could light it. She inhaled deeply and watched as Happy did the same. "You remember what I said to ya' the other day?" He asked after a minute and Sarah nodded.

He'd asked her to choose a side.

"Yeah, and I chose you and Asher."

"I'm sorry kid." He said running a hand over his face. "Your old mans dead."

"Did he try to hurt Asher?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, kid." He took a deep inhale of smoke. "He hurt Asher a lot." Sarah sat and listened as Happy started to talk quietly. He started from back when he'd gotten out of jail for killing Reg Thomson, and told her everything about him going to see her in LA to how Bowie had died. She just sat and listened because deep down, she knew he'd stop talking if she interrupted, he'd become aware of what kind of things he was telling her. And all the parts that Asher had left out when she'd told Sarah the Asher and Happy story were filled in, confirming what Sarah had always suspected.

Happy loved Asher more than anyone could ever imagine- and had done for a very long time.

When he finished, they both just sat there quietly for a few minutes before Sarah spoke.

"Thank you."

"What for?" He asked, not looking at her.

"Everything." She said quietly before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek and walking back into the clubhouse.

She found Juice asleep on the bed in his dorm room when she got there, crawling across the bed and looking down at him sleeping soundly.

"Hey." She whispered quietly and watched his eyes flutter open and look up at her sleepily, his hand coming up to rest on her hip.

"Hey." A sleepy smile graced his features and Sarah ran a hand down his face.

"Is everything okay with the cops?" She whispered and he nodded.

"Yeah, apparently Roosevelt has a heart." He whispered back and Sarah leant down to press a kiss to his lips. "You staying?"

"I'm going to go and sleep with Asher." She said quietly and Juice nodded, understanding.

"Okay ." Giving him another peck on the lips, Sarah crawled off the bed and went down the hall to where Asher was sleeping quietly on the bed, Petey pressed into her side. Shutting the door, she kicked off her boots, she crawled across the bed on Peteys other side and slid down quietly to lie there with her brother and her mother.

She woke a few hours later when Happy came in and lay down on the bed as well, she didn't alert him to her awake state, just listened as he wrapped an arm around Asher and pressed a kiss to her cheek and whispered that he loved her before going to sleep.

This is what family was.

This was her family.

* * *

><p>AN: Well...epilogue next! I had to put the Grumpy bit in, mainly because I'm doing an assignment about dangerous dogs (more like dangerous people having impressionable dogs) and I just love him that much =D . Thank you so much for reading - please review! x


	83. Chapter 83

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.

**Summary: **She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC

Well…thank you to the few Guest reviews I got, as well as Crazygirl1980s review! If I didn't reply I'm sorry, I tried to do all of you! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story for the last eighty-two chapters. I have really loved writing about Asher and Happy and Sarah and I could never have foreseen the amount of support I would get for it. Again, thank you all, and I hope you enjoy this last chapter. It's a bit jumpy, but I feel it got the emotions of all the key players in the end. And of course we're rounding out with a Lana song.

Enjoy!

_Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence._

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue – Video Games <strong>

_It's you, it's you, it's all for you  
>Everything I do<br>I tell you all the time  
>Heaven is a place on earth with you<br>Tell me all the things you want to do  
>I heard that you like the bad girls honey<br>Is that true?  
>It's better than I ever even knew<br>They say that the world was built for two  
>Only worth living if somebody is loving you<br>And now you do  
><em>_**- Lana Del Rey**__  
><em>

**Charming CA **

**Ten Years Later **

"'Ello Love. How'ya doin'?" Happy looked down at Chibs who was crouched down in front of him, smiling at the little girl clinging to Happys leg as they stood in Gemma's backyard. Happy chuckled as she stepped further around behind him and clung tightly to his jeans, watching warily as Chibs straightened up and shook his head. "She's her mothers daughter." He joked and Happy took a swig of beer before glancing back down at his daughter still clinging to his leg.

_Nora. _

His little miracle.

Not that he'd ever say it out loud, but he owed the kid one. Without her, he didn't know where he'd be now. The fact that she was a total Daddys girl made it even better.

"Aren'tcha gunna say hello to Uncle Chibs, darlin'?" He asked and Nora gripped even tighter at his leg in answer. She was incredibly shy around other people. At home she was always with him, getting him to read to her or following him around like a little puppy dog.

"She's a shy wee one ain't she?" Chibs said and Happy shrugged, catching the Scots attention. "It looks good on ya, there brother. Family ain't for a lot of people- but it suits ya." And he knew the words were hanging between them.

_Didn't think you'd make it there for a minute._

* * *

><p><em>It had been two years since Happy had killed Clay for Asher. The heat on the club had died down, Roosevelt had backed off a fair bit once Jax took over and things slowed down for twelve months or so while the rest of them adjusted to the change in leadership and shift in power. All Clays threats had amounted to nothing with Happy having buried the nine millimetre used in the all the kills linked to Asher out at the old Bluebird site before he'd gone after Clay. <em>

_Two years and his mother had done well to hang around for that long. But eventually she gave in and let the cancer get to her. With her three year old son by her side, Happy had watched Asher meticulously organize everything for the funeral, the wake, being the rock he needed while he fell apart. _

_He spent nights at the clubhouse, drinking away his pain until Nora's funeral. After the goodbye was said and done though, he couldn't stop the rage that filled him, the anger at his mother, the best mother he could have had, being taken away from them. It didn't take long for Jax, the president of SAMCRO to send him on a run- get out of town and clear his head on the road. At the time he was surprised it was Jax that had told him to go, but then realised it had been Asher. She'd gone to Jax and asked him to send him on a run so he could get away from everything. _

_Once on the road though, he found it hard to come back. It was so much easier to think out there, without having to factor in Asher, or Sarah, or Petey. He was free to cry and hate the world, alone. _

_He was on the road for six months, getting home to see Asher and Petey at least once a month. For the first few months it had been fine- Asher would send him cheeky messages, and photos of Petey to keep him remembering home, but soon the messages from her started to slow down, until there were none, only ever sending a photo of Petey every week so he could see his son. When he did get home to her, he could tell she was starting to fall out of love with him, everytime they fucked, she'd roll over and sleep with her back to him. He could feel it and he'd had to leave in the middle of the night because for some reason he couldn't bring himself to face her in the light of day and know that he'd broken all the promises he'd made to her. _

_The defining moment was when he came home one weekend and found her on her way out. The house was only two doors down from Gemmas- the best he could get on short notice after Blues death and Ashers refusal to go back into the old one except to pack their things. _

"_Where the fuck are you going?" He couldn't help but snap as she picked up her handbag. _

"_I have to go out. Think you can watch your son for a few hours?" She asked, and he didn't miss the sarcasm in her voice. "Grumpy's locked outside and I want him to stay there."_

"_What like a date?" His mind was going crazy with rage. He'd been on the road for a whole day to get back to Charming, and now she was leaving. _

"_No, I've got an appointment." _

"_Like a doctor? It's fuckin' eight o'clock at night Asher!" His hand jerked to the dark outside and he saw Ashers jaw clench as she lifted her chin up in defiance. "You're a nurse- reschedule it." _

"_I can't stick around and fight with you Happy, I've got to go." She whispered. She went to walk away, but all his instincts made him reach out and grab her arm, jerking her back around. _

"_Hey!" He saw her eyes then. They were glassy with tears. There was only one thing that made her cry on cue like that. Sure she'd cried when she'd been shot, when she'd shot Blue, when Spanner had died. But never when she was fighting with him. "Shit." He let her arm go and she rubbed it as the thought invaded his mind. "You're pregnant?" He rasped and watched her jaw move as she tried to avoid his eyes. Reaching out, a lot more gently, he snatched her chin in her hand and looked her dead in the eye. "Are you pregnant?" _

"_I won't be for much longer." She said quietly and Happy dropped his hand. _

"_You're getting rid of it?" He asked, shocked that the girl that had so desperately wanted her first born, was willing to go through with an abortion. _

"_What did you expect? I'm having enough trouble raising one kid, let alone two. At least I knew you loved me when Petey was conceived!" She snapped straight back and Happy felt his chest constrict as the tears started to fall. _

"_The fuck you mean?" Didn't she get he loved her? He'd killed for her, countless times, and he'd do it again. _

"_You know you didn't kiss me once the last time you were here?" She replied and Happy felt his stomach drop. He'd gotten so carried away last time. It was hard being faithful on the road, and usually by the time he got home he was ready to snap. _

"_Asher…" _

"_I'm doing this Happy. You don't want this baby, I don't want this baby. Lets not pretend like this is something either of us wants." He reached out for her again, letting his hand fall back to his side when she stepped back. _

"_I want it." He whispered, surprising himself. _

"_What?" Her voice was incredulous- obviously taken by surprise. _

"_I said I want it." He stepped forward and this time was able to touch her, his fingers reaching into her hair. "If you want to keep it, it's okay." He said quietly. But Asher shook her head and pulled away from him. _

"_I've made my decision. I don't need you to make it for me." Happy nodded. Yeah, he'd lost the right to make any decisions for her after the last six months. "I'm sorry Happy." _

_Then she'd turned around and walked out. _

_Happy had gone down to the nursery and found his son sitting on the floor, playing with some building blocks. Besides the eyes, the kid was a spitting image of himself at that age. _

"_How ya doin' buddy?" He asked and saw the kids head shoot up before he was on his feet and flying over to Happy. Happy crouched down and held his arms open for his three year old son to jump into. _

"_Daddy!" Hugging Petey close to his body, Happy couldn't help but feel another pain in his chest at the thought of what his old lady was on her way to do right now. "You wanna play wit' my blocks?" He asked, stepping back and Happy instantly missed the contact. _

"_I dunno PJ, look what I got for you." Reaching into his cut, Happy pulled out a toy car. He'd been collecting them on his trips around the states, bringing them home for him when he could. "This, my man, is a Ford Mustang." He said, about to go into a spiel about the car, but it was snatched out of his hand by little fingers. _

"_Vroom, vrooooom!" Petey pushed the car along the carpet and Happy chuckled as he watched his son play. "Here Daddy, you can have da ra-ri." Happy laughed as he was handed the model Ferrari. _

"_It's a Ferrari, PJ." He chuckled. _

"_Ra-ri!" Rolling his eyes, he was quite content to sit there and play with the boy until he started to look sleepy. _

"_Come on buddy, how 'bout you brush ya teeth and I'll read you a story." This was general practice on his visits. He'd tuck Petey in and read to him before heading down the hall to his mother. _

"_Daddy, where's mama?" Petey asked as he scrambled up and Happy led him to the bathroom. _

"_She's out for a bit buddy, she'll be back soon." _

"_But she's gotta kiss me goodnight." He pouted and Happy wondered where he'd picked the move up from. _

"_What about me?" He asked gruffly. _

"_But I want mama to kiss me goodnight too." The bottom lip dropped even further as Happy squeezed toothpaste onto the little toothbrush and handed it to the kid. _

"_I'll make sure she does when she gets home." He promised. Petey continued to chatter on as he brushed his teeth, standing up on the stool Asher had gotten him so he could reach the sink. _

"_All done!" he said finally and handed Happy the toothbrush. _

"_Aight, go choose a book and into bed little man." When he finally reached Peteys room, the boy was in the bed, his favourite teddy by his side and a book in his hand. Happy swallowed a lump in his throat as he saw the cover of the book. The Outsiders, he'd read it to Petey countless times, but this time all he could think of was Asher reading it to him when he'd gotten out of jail last. _

"_Come on daddy!" Petey screeched and Happy sighed, walking into the room and gesturing for Petey to shift over so he could sit on the bed as well. _

"_Aight, from the start?" He asked, flicking through the worn pages and seeing Petey nod as he snuggled into his side. _

_By the time he heard the Camaro pull into the drive and steps on the porch, Petey was well and truly asleep in Happys side. Manoeuvring himself out of his sons grip, he got off the bed and walked out into the living room as Asher dropped her handbag in the hallway. He just stood still and watched her turn around to face him. _

"_I'm so sorry." She whispered. And he stepped toward her. "I couldn't do it." She started to sob then and Happy couldn't do anything but pull her into his arms, lifting her up so her legs wrapped around his waist. "I'm so scared- please don't leave me." She sobbed into his t-shirt and Happy just gripped her even tighter. _

"_It's alright, baby girl, I've got you." He'd whispered and he'd kept his promise. He hadn't left after that. She was too important for him to lose. He'd been by her side for every single ultrasound, to fetch her food when she was craving it and deal with her crazy horniness. _

_Nora Matilda Lowman had been born two days past her due date by a natural birth. Happy had been the first one to hold her, and been instantly in love with her. Asher had had to pry her from his arms to hold her._

* * *

><p>Happys eyes drifted over to Asher who was standing nearby, watching the older kids running around in the backyard, a grey looking Grumpy at her feet and Tara by her side making her laugh at something. So happy considering her own grandmother had died the year before, leaving AJ the only living relative she had left. Under the cut off jean shorts she was wearing, Happy could see the ink on her thigh.<p>

As soon as everything calmed down after Clay and Blues deaths, he'd pulled out his kit and inked her. The design had been a classic heart, scroll and rose design like the old pin up designs, except he'd changed it to a smiley face with the scroll across it with his name in it and surrounded by daisies, like the ones on her side. It looked good on her, and even at thirty-nine, she wore it loud and proud. And he in turn had let Sarah design something for Asher, resulting in a kneeling angel holding the words "the blessed" over the ink on his chest, directly over his heart where she belonged.

"Daddy." The tiny little voice came from below him and Happy reached down to pick up Nora and hold her on his hip.

"Sup little girl?" He asked, watching her chew her lip as Chibs smiled at her, making her bury her head in her fathers neck.

"Nuffin." She muttered and Happy chuckled, holding her close to him even though she was nearly too big to be carried like this at the age of five.

The only thing that brought Nora out of his neck was the sound of giggling has Asher stepped up behind Chibs, leaning around to press a kiss to his cheek in greeting.

"Bet you can't get a look in between these two." She whispered to Chibs who just grinned even bigger. "Don't worry- they make me jealous too."

"Darlin' I don't think ya need to be jealous." He laughed, and wrapped an arm around Ashers shoulders. "He can't keep his eyes off ya." Happy heard Chibs whisper to his _wife_. Asher brushed a strand of hair away from her face with her left hand, the gold ring on her finger glinting in the light and whispered a quiet thanks to Chibs.

Happy looked down at his little girl. She'd been spoilt with her mothers attention since Happy had bought Asher a piano and she'd quit nursing- getting a certificate and spending her time giving music lessons, something that she well and truly loved. And he was glad he could give that to his wife.

"Hey, pretty girl, your brother wants you to go and play with him." She said catching Noras attention and Nora snuggled closer into Happy. "Come on, can't be hanging out all day with Daddy. Off you go." Happy rolled his eyes at his wifes bossy tone and let his daughter onto the ground, where she looked up at him expectantly like he was going to make a difference.

"Listen to your mother, darlin'." He said and Nora sighed, but ran off to join the other kids. "You're a bossy bitch." He muttered but Asher just rolled her eyes at him and walked past him, patting his chest. Happy watched her ass saunter away and couldn't help that familiar feeling in his groin. His girl was still as sexy as she had been back in Tacoma, at Thomas' birthday party, even his brothers eyes followed her. He shot Tig and Kozik a warning look at the two ex-marines watching his girl from where they stood near the barbeque.

* * *

><p>Asher made herself busy in Gemma's busy kitchen after leaving Happy with Chibs. It was hard to get Nora away from her father. The little dark haired girl absolutely idolised her father. Petey had grown up to be his own little version of Happy, taking it upon himself to protect his little sister when his father wasn't there. Asher couldn't have been more proud of any of her family.<p>

Especially Happy.

Glancing out the window she could see the eighteen year old Ellie Winston playing with Nora while several of the recently patched SAMCRO members watched on. It brought a small smile to her face remembering herself in a similar situation. And it had been a defining moment in her life. It had led to her babies, and her husband.

_Husband._

* * *

><p><em>Asher had been nursing baby Nora when Happy walked through the door of the house, kicking his boots off at the doorway and glanced over at her at the kitchen table. <em>

"_Hey." She called out. She'd been planning on at least showering before he got back from the latest run. One a lot shorter than the ones he'd been taking nine months before hand. _

_He just looked at her. His brow furrowing slightly as he took in the sight of them. She'd been expecting at least a kiss, but he turned his back and headed down to the bedroom. _

"_Yes darling, Daddys an asshole." She muttered to the quiet baby in her arms and turned her attention back to the book she was reading. _

_Ten minutes later Asher heard muffled footsteps on the carpet but she refused to look up. Just because he'd come back didn't mean that they didn't fight like cats and dogs. _

"_Where's the kid?" _

"_Peteys at Tara's, playing with Abel and Thomas." She replied, not lifting her head from her book until she heard a clanging on the table and she looked up to see two gold rings sitting on the table and Happy standing next to the table only wearing a wifebeater and jeans. "What're they?" She asked, trying to act relaxed about the whole thing- but she knew what those two rings were. _

"_The fuck they look like?" he snapped and Asher scowled at him. _

"_Don't swear in front of the baby." _

"_Like you didn't just call me an asshole." He replied just as harshly and Asher felt her temper flare at the tone of his voice. "Look I ain't proposing or nothin'. You either marry me or ya' don't. It ain't gunna change this…" he gestured between them, "but if ya want it…" He shrugged and Asher looked up at his face. It was stern as usual and she wondered if he really wanted this. _

"_Do you want to get married?" She asked softly, watching his face for any sign of change. _

"_It's not gunna change this." He replied quietly and Asher sighed, standing up and handing the baby over to him. _

"_I need to think about it." She replied, sweeping a hand over Nora's little head. _

"_Whattya mean you gotta think about it?" He snapped, immediately shushing the baby when she started to fuss. "You wanna get married or not?" _

"_Hap, I never even uttered anything about marriage and suddenly you throw this at me. I need to think about it." She stressed. Never in her life had she thought that Happy would want to get married. She'd never had any ideas of matrimony from him, even if he was the father of babies and the love of her life. She saw the change in his features then, almost crestfallen before it became stone hard again. "It's not that I don't love you. Because you know I do. So much it scares me." She replied honestly. "But I need time. Marriage is big, we can't just walk away from each other when times get tough." _

"_I ain't gunna walk away Asher." He replied, rocking the baby for emphasis and Asher knew that at the moment he was telling the truth. He'd made her that promise so many times and eventually broken it. She just needed time. Giving him a small smile she picked up the rings and studied them. _

"_You really want to marry me?" She asked quietly, glancing up at him. _

"_I wouldn't be here if I didn't baby girl." He muttered and Asher felt her chest swell as she stared at her man holding their baby. Giving them a small smile she headed down the hall to her room to try to sort out her head. _

_Two hours later she'd emerged with her answer, and three days later they'd signed the papers in the courthouse. It was Happys words as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders outside the courthouse despite the cheers of his awaiting brothers. _

"_You're a Lowman now girl."_

* * *

><p>Asher smiled fondly at the memory before turning her attention back to Happy who was talking to Chibs still. He'd really stepped up the last few years. If someone had told her twenty years ago that Happy would one day be a father, a doting one, let alone the father to her children she would have laughed in their face. Happy would have killed them.<p>

* * *

><p>"Hey hey, here's the birthday boy. Happy birthday Abel! Twelve years old 'ey?" Chibs bellowed, as he and Happy watched the presidents son approach.<p>

"Thanks uncle Chibs. Dad says that it won't be long until I can prospect." He said, deadly serious, the familiar Teller glint in his eye and Happy chuckled, looking over to his own son who was picking Nora up off the ground. Petey, or PJ, cause he was too old for Petey anymore, didn't want a cut, he was going to be a racecar driver. And Happy couldn't be more thankful. There'd been a time when he wanted his offspring to follow in his footsteps, but now, he couldn't think of anything worse.

"Got a few more years in ya yet kiddo." Happy said to the kid who looked up at him wide-eyed.

"Don't listen to him, Abel, give it a few years and you'll be his President." This didn't put Abel at ease and Happy got a kick out of that.

"Scuse me lads." A voice said sweetly and Happy shifted out of the way as a heavily pregnant Sarah walked past him reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek as she held bowls of chips in her hands. "Hey Uncle Hap. Thanks for fixing the guttering on the house." She whispered before taking off towards Asher.

Twenty-two years ago he'd never have been able to envision this for Sarah. Married for the last two years and expecting her first child with Juice. It had slowed the over-eager little shit down to have to look after a pregnant wife, but Juice had done a good job. He'd stuck by Sarahs side through thick and thin.

Hell, being the man that gave Sarah away at the wedding had been one of the proudest moments in Happys life. He'd always put his killer reputation second when it came to the girl, and if it meant she'd have a father to walk her down the aisle, then he'd do it. Even if Juice didn't know how to fix guttering on their house, Happy was proud of them both.

Looking around he caught his wifes eye from across Gemmas spacious backyard. She cocked her head to the side and he knew she'd seen his mind ticking over. Not giving himself a chance to change his mind, he stalked towards her and grabbed her hand, dragging her into the house.

* * *

><p>Sarah watched Happy drag Asher across the backyard and into the house.<p>

"Where are they going?" She heard Juice say in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her, placing his ringed fingers flat on her expanding belly.

"Honeymooning." Sarah replied, leaning back into Juice and looking up at him. He'd grown his hair out in the last few years so you couldn't see his tattoos any more. It made him look older. More mature.

"Can I get you something Mama?" He asked, his breath hot on her ear and Sarah shook her head, placing her hands over his.

"No daddy. I'm fine." She whispered back, a smile spreading across her face as Juice rubbed her stomach. Their baby was due in two months, a little girl they'd found out.

"You look beautiful today." He whispered and Sarah felt the smile widen.

"You're too sweet." She replied.

"No, you're sweet _Mrs_ Ortiz." Sarah felt a wet kiss get pressed to her cheek before Juice pulled away and walked over to where Kozik and Tig were standing, taking a beer that was offered to him.

"You two are cute." Sarah swivelled her head around to see Gemma Teller-Morrow standing behind her. Even in her mid sixties, Gemma was hot. So hot, that in fact Sarah was certain she was sleeping with Tig. "Nice to see you so happy."

"I just hope it stays that way." Sarah replied. She hoped that in twenty years her and Juice were still sneaking off to have a quickie.

"Baby, I've seen the way that kid looks at you. Don't you worry- you're not Asher and Happy, but that don't mean you won't be happy." Sarah gave Gemma a small smile and accepted Gemmas kiss on the cheek before watching the old woman saunter away.

She was right, Sarah and Juice weren't Asher and Happy. They had come from a friendship, one that they still had, but they didn't fight like Asher and Happy. That didn't mean they didn't fight. Sarah was Ashers daughter after all. But her and Juice were forever. That much she knew.

* * *

><p>"<em>Who are you getting to walk you down the aisle? I'm sure Riley will do it." Liz said as she adjusted the back of Sarahs dress and Sarah glanced over her shoulder at her mother. The mother that in the last eight years had had to adjust to losing her husband, the father of her children and her best friend. <em>

"_Hap's going to do it." She felt her mothers fingers still. "He's my father for all extensive purposes." _

"_You had a father. He's dead." Liz bit back and Sarah spun around to face her mother. _

"_Yes, because Asher shot him. Because he tried to kill me- my own father threatened to kill me mum, doesn't that make any difference to you?" _

"_Your father had his reasons." Liz defended and Sarah narrowed her eyes at the naïve woman. _

"_Yeah, his agenda with Clay. I know. Happy told me everything – how he killed Ashers father. How he got Bowie to kill Spanner. I don't know what makes you think that makes him a good person." Liz swallowed thickly and Sarah could see tears gathering in her eyes but she didn't care. This was her wedding day, she didn't need to be thinking about how her father had tried to kill her family. "You know what, I think I'm okay here, you should go and wait outside." _

"_Sarah…" _

"_No, you haven't been my mother since I was eight, so don't start now." She snapped and watched Liz walk out of the small room, leaving Sarah to inhale and exhale deeply to try to calm down. She could go a cigarette now. _

"_That was a bit harsh." She didn't need to turn around to know that Asher was in the room. _

"_Well she's not my mother." Sarah bit back and felt a hand wrap around her shoulders before she was faced with Asher. _

"_Baby, come on. She's just worried." _

"_I don't care. This is my wedding, not hers." She knew she was being bitchy, but this was meant to be the best day of her life and her mother was bringing up her father and his abandonment of the family. It had been Asher that had convinced her to invite Liz in the first place. She looked up and met Ashers eyes again, which were glassy with moisture. _

"_I can't believe you're getting married." Asher choked and Sarah let her real mother pull her into her arms and wrap them tightly around her. _

"_Shit, Ash, don't make me cry – it'll ruin my makeup." Sarah gasped as she stepped back and wiped at her eyes seeing Asher do the same. _

"_Okay, sorry baby." Asher replied and took a deep breath. "You ready to spend the rest of your life with Juan Carlos?" She asked and Sarah nodded certain for the first time since Liz had brought up Blue. _

"_So ready." She replied. And she was. The last eight years, Juice had been more than she could ever imagine. And after proposing to her in the middle of the high school where she worked as a counsellor, she knew that she had found the perfect Son. _

"_Hey." Asher touched her arm and Sarah turned back to face the blonde. "I am so proud of you baby. After all the shit, you've been braver than I could ever imagine. And I love you." Sarah leant over and pressed a kiss to Ashers cheek and smiled, trying to keep the tears at bay. _

"_I love you too mum." _

"_Hey, you ready kid?" The door opened and Sarah saw Happy standing in the doorway, looking between the two, cut clad and wearing a clean pair of jeans. "What're you bitches smiling about?" _

"_See, this is what I married." Asher rolled her eyes and jerked her thumb at Happy. "At least Juice has some manners." Sarah just smiled as Asher walked over and patted Happy's chest, seeing him look down at her seriously. _

"_I'll show you manners, hooker." Sarah watched on as Asher got up on her toes and pressed a kiss to Happy lips and he patted her on the small of the back. Over the years she had seen the move a hundred times. "Come on, kid. Lets roll." Asher stepped out of the way and headed out the door as Sarah strode over to Happy who offered her his arm. _

"_Thanks for this Uncle Hap." She said as she wrapped a hand around his bicep and let him lead her out to the back porch of the old farmhouse outside of Charming. Around the corner she could see rows and rows of leather cuts with the SOA patch on the back facing the little stage where the celebrant was standing, Juice standing off to his side, bouncing on his toes in his cut and button up shirt. His hair had grown over his tattoos years ago but he was still Juice to her. And always would be. _

_And in a few more minutes, she would be Mrs Juan Carlos Ortiz. _

_And she couldn't have been happier until fourteen months later when she'd gotten pregnant._

* * *

><p>"Hap, what're you doing?" Asher laughed, jogging to keep up with Happy. "Come on, they're about to put out cake!" He ignored her, pushing his way into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind them before spinning around to pick her up by the thighs and prop her up on the basin and kissing her hard.<p>

"You feeling nostalgic, _Killer_?" She purred when she pulled away and Happy smirked.

"Been wanting to do this awhile, _hooker."_ He replied and Asher was the one who smirked.

"Don't think you're allowed to call your _wife, hooker _ Old man." She teased, Happy rolling his eyes. The wife card had been played several times in the last five years since he'd put the ring on her finger in the town hall that day.

"Don't complain." He sneered before leaning down and fusing his lips to hers again, hearing her moan.

She immediately relaxed into him and kissed him back, her sweet tongue sweeping into his mouth and battling against his own. He pulled her closer, running a hand over the ink on her thigh.

_He fucking loved this woman._

Asher pulled away and pressed a kiss to his neck before looking up at him with those bright blue eyes.

"You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?"

The End.


End file.
